Original subtitles

Ah, someone's in a good mood.

You never see a sad guy whistling.

You have never seen Joe.

Creepy.

You seem on top of the world.

- I thought you'd be stressed. - Stressed? Why?

Yasir's off in Lebanon. Your second best friend is gone.

Yasir is my best friend.

- Wow, way to twist that knife. - So, no, I am not stressed.

In fact, I have reached a place of spiritual detachment.

Nothing could get me stressed.

- Amaar, the mosque is on fire! - What?

No, no, I'm kidding, kidding. Kidding, everybody.

If only it were true.

That didn't feel good, did it?

No, but that's exactly what I'm gonna have to say

if we don't rewire the place right away.

Did you have to scare me like that?

Have to? No.

Anyway, short story long,

we're cutting off the power for the weekend.

What? For the whole weekend? You can't turn it on any sooner?

And make them work the weekend? It's a bit rude, isn't it?

Okay, so, maybe I am a little stressed.

A little stressed? I've never seen anyone as stressed as you.

Okay, maybe I have.

So, take a break.

You don't have any power for the weekend, why don't you get away?

Oh, what about camping?

I'm not really the camping type.

Although, the Prophet, peace be upon him,

did go out into the wilderness alone for some time to reflect.

You know what?

I'm gonna do it.

I am gonna go into the woods and spend some time alone!

And I'm going with you.

Oh, God.

This will be amazing!

You, me and the quiet splendor of nature.

Which reminds me, I'll need beer.

Look, Nate, what about your paper? You can't just leave it.

- No problem, I'll get someone to cover me. - Chief, chief, hot tip,

Jeff the barber doesn't have a current barber's license.

- This is gonna blow the town wide open. - Take that bomb and run with it, kid.

Wait, wait.

- Does Jeff advertise with us? - Not anymore.

- Nail him to the wall! - Yeah.

That kid's hungry, reminds me of myself at his age.

Except, he's hungry, figuratively.

I was so fat.

Fine. How fat were you, Nate?

Amaar, I had a problem. That is so cruel.

Look, Nate,

the only reason I am going is to spend some time alone.

- I hear that. - By myself.

- Totally. - Without you.

Ouch.

Fatty gets left behind, again.

Don't eat your feelings. Stop it. Not the chocolate.

Can you please stop that?

Subhan Allah!

- We love camping. We will come with you. - No, no, no, no, no.

You were not invited.

You would abandon your congregation?

I thought you're a better imam than that.

- No, you didn't. - That's true.

But we really want to go camping. Please.

Fine.

But everyone, this is not a camping trip.

This is time for serious and meaningful introspection.

- Of course, I'll bring the frisbee. - I shall bring the halal marshmallows.

We shall be in the 'smore country. Yep.

- Mom, I'm impressed. - Well...

Hello, Hamoudi Construction.

...place.

Look at you, dodging calls, faking accents.

You really are a contractor.

I am completely swamped.

Your father set an ambitious schedule.

He's had the church job for two weeks and he's four weeks behind!

- What are you gonna do? - Stand up to Thorne.

No matter how angry he gets, I'm gonna tell him he has to be patient.

If he can't handle it, he just has to look somewhere else.

- Good for you. - Tough, but fair.

Sarah, you look lovely today.

Okay, okay, okay, you caught me. I'm sorry.

I'll get it done soon. Please, don't fire me.

Tough, but fair.

Fire you? Now, why would I fire someone as lovely as you?

Oh, uh, because we're four weeks behind?

Really? I didn't know that.

- Can we pretend I said two weeks? - No, no, no, how about we pretend

that the work will be done by Monday or God's checks may begin to bounce.

Oh!

This is gonna be fun!

Fun? It's a weekend away with Baber and Faisal.

That's a goodtime cocktail. Just add Nate and stir.

- It's not a party. - Not until you have the Nate tails.

It's not a party at all.

It's just a chance for me to get away and reflect.

And we will have a chance to discuss your many faults.

- Brought a list. - Me, too.

If they overlap, no points.

Well, I love camping games. This will be fun and thorough.

See? That's the spirit.

Well, what's going on here?

Group of Muslim men heading off into the woods together?

Do I smell a training camp?

We're just camping.

Camping? Did someone say the magic word?

- "Please"? - And thank you.

- You don't gotta ask me twice. - I didn't ask you once.

- I just said "please". - Stop begging, will you? I said I'll come.

We'd love to have you, Fred, but you see, Joe's driving us.

And he's only got room upfront for four, so...

Somebody can ride the back of the truck.

- Shotgun! - Shotgun!

- Shotgun! - Back.

Dang it.

Wait, did you, did you call back?

Sucker! Who calls back?

Now he can't in ride the front with the rest of us.

Darn it.

Oh, the guys are taking a little coffee break?

No, why?

Well, it's just, they're all standing and drinking coffee.

They told me they had to wait for the saw to warm up.

That's right, Ms. H. You don't want to use a cold saw.

That doesn't make any sense.

Thought so, but they have to know what they're doing. They are in a union.

Yeah, have they done any work today?

Oh, they cut some boards a little while ago.

Carl, how many boards have you cut?

Ten boards, Ms. H. Mm-hmm.

With a cold saw? How they cut that with a cold saw?

Yeah, Carl, how did you?

Well, you see, the saw was hot

but, then, you know, it cooled down.

- Do you know what a flange is? - No.

Yeah, it's the flange.

- Oh, yeah. - Sure, it is.

Mom, they're walking all over you.

They are working as hard as they can.

- Ms. H. - Uh-huh.

I think I got a splinter.

Then what are you still doing here?

You get home and take care of that.

All right, I'll be back to pick you guys up in a couple of days.

- You're not staying? - No, thanks.

This is toxic personnel you're mixing.

Classic powder keg situation.

Don't you guys know anything about group dynamics?

Perfect, social tip from a troubled loner.

Um, guys, where are the tents?

I might have taken them out of the truck to make room for the food.

Uh-oh.

Where's the food?

Uh-oh, I might've taken it out to make room for the beer.

Uh-oh, where's the beer?

No worries, my friendlies, code of the road.

No beer left behind.

Perfect.

Mom, you're way too easy on the crew.

It's almost lunch, they haven't done anything.

That reminds me, I'm making cucumber sandwiches

and I gotta remove those crusts.

Mom, stop babying them, you're too lovable.

You take that back.

- Wait, isn't that a good thing? - Not when you need to be firm.

All right.

Playtime is over, we have lights, they need to be wired. Now.

Let's go! Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Oh, that's more like it. A whistle.

That's how a business should operate.

- Mom. - Yeah?

- You're in the way. - Oh.

Give me a bite. You already had a bite.

That is a vicious lie. That was not a bite, it was a nibble.

What are you fighting about?

We found a granola bar and Faisal's hogging it.

- I have one in my bag. - That is where we found it.

Nate, why are you so relaxed?

Amaar, I can rise above anything, thanks to inner peace.

It's my favorite brand. Plus it's really cheap.

Okay, this is ridiculous.

We can't go two days without food, water, or shelter.

Yeah, I know, we're doomed.

No, I'm gonna walk to the highway and get some help.

Mashallah, Amaar.

Some would call that very heroic.

Not me but some.

Yeah, kiddo, that's mighty white of you, hmm?

Oh, sorry, after few beers, my dad comes out.

In the meantime, I've got another granola bar in my jacket.

I told you to check his jacket.

I'll be back before you know it.

Let's pick up the pace, people. We gotta a deadline here.

Look, Mrs. H junior, we just can't go any faster.

Really? Yousef, can you go any faster?

Yes.

- But, Yousef doesn't speak English. - Says you.

Yousef, do you speak English?

Oh, yes.

Are you sure you're not working them too hard?

- They seem miserable. - I wouldn't say miserable.

Really? Yousef, are you miserable?

Oh, yes.

That's not fair, Yousef doesn't speak English.

- Whoa, what are you doing? - Lunch.

I hope you like crab cakes.

- Again? - Yes.

No, no more crab cakes, no more finger sandwiches

and no more quiches.

No more quiches?

You know we're union, right?

Eat on your own time then, because we've got sconces to finish.

Okay, enough of this, I'm tired of being bossed.

Well, I'm not tired of being boss.

And I'm going to be boss for the foreseeable future.

Oh, yeah? We quit.

- No. - What?

I didn't foresee that happening, boss.

Reverend?

- What are you doing here? - Amaar.

I'm... Nothing. I'm just... You know.

- Are you... Are you birdwatching? - No, well...

I'm watching, and now that you mention it, yes, there are a few birds here.

Yeah. Plus you have a birdwatching book in your hand there.

What? Am I supposed to say,

"No, Mother, I don't want this award-winning AVR companion

"with a new afterword by Gore Vidal." I'm not a fool.

This just gets better and better.

All right, fine, fine. You caught me.

The only thing that makes life in Mercy bearable

is the sight of a scissor-tailed flycatcher taking wing.

You have nothing to be ashamed of.

- Bird watching. - It's called birding, okay?

And it's a noble and majestic pastime with a storied history.

- I won't tell anyone. - Thank, God.

Actually, I'm glad I ran into you.

Bunch of us were camping and got stuck out here without supplies.

And you need to be rescued?

- Well, I wouldn't say rescue. - I would.

Lead on, my child.

This savior looks forward to meeting his grateful savees.

- Yeah, this way. - They're here, okay.

Birding.

Those poor people,

waiting for a prophet to lead them from the wilderness.

Or maybe give them a sandwich and a tent.

Hey, slow down. I don't know if I'd call me a hero.

- No one said "hero". - Not yet.

How far is it to camp anyway?

Well, it should be right through here.

Or not.

Huh, this isn't right.

- Where are they? - Wait, I see something.

- Campsite? - Better.

A Chestnut-sided Warbler.

Wow.

Uh-huh. Okay, okay, well, thank you.

There is no way we are gonna get an electrician on such short notice.

All booked out?

No, they heard about how you treated the last crew.

Yasir left me in charge and I'm gonna lose his best client.

Sarah Hamoudi will not let that happen.

Are you with me?

You don't think we're going to finish this, do you?

So, camping with the boys.

- Yep. - Sounds like fun.

- Yep. - I thought Islam had a rule against fun.

- You're hilarious. - I know.

But, really, Muslims have a lot of rules.

You know, no pork, no dancing, no gambling, no alcohol, no flirting.

No touching the left side of a red flag on a day with a letter 'U' in it.

That's very funny. Yeah, sure, we got a lot of rules.

But you guys have a lot of Gods.

Really? That's your comeback?

No, I'm just saying. The Trinity.

- Seriously... - We have one true God.

- What about Jesus? - Well, he's the same God, but different.

- What about the Holy Ghost? - Well, he's a...

Okay, fine, it's a divine mystery, all right? Let's just walk.

Wait a second, how much further you think it is to your car?

You tell me, I was following you.

No, I'm following you.

You're the hero, remember?

I never said that.

Come on, how long are we gonna listen to that?

Fine.

Way to spoil the mood, Scooter.

All I got is that and the sounds of the scissor-tailed flycatcher.

I don't know about this.

Oh, how hard can it be?

There! We're all wired up. Now, hit the switch.

Rayyan.

I think you need to reverse those two wires.

Oh. All right, that should take care of it.

Now, hit the switch.

- Stop it. - Sorry.

All right, try this.

Let me.

You're doing it wrong.

I'm doing it wrong? You're doing it wrong.

I'm not doing it wrong. I read the book.

Oh, this is useless, we're never gonna figure this out.

And it's all your fault.

- My fault? - If you hadn't been so soft on the guys

this would be done by now.

If you hadn't been so hard, they wouldn't have quit.

Yousef, are you okay?

Yes.

Let's try it again.

This is a great idea, we play a drinking game.

Winner takes the granola bar.

And...

Bamo!

That, my friendlies, is how it is done. Drink up.

- We do not drink. - I'll drink for you.

All right, Baber-tola, you toss.

It is too much like gambling, I could never do it.

You're out.

- It's between you and me. - You're on, Buster Brown.

Ah, gosh, I hate being out in the wild at night.

I know, me, too. There's no bed, no kitchen, and certainly no bathroom.

Or looked at another way, it's all bathroom.

- Okay, that is unappealing. - Yeah.

- Okay, you know what? I'm gonna sit down. - Good idea.

I thought all you prairie boys were outdoorsy.

We had this conversation. I'm from Toronto, remember?

Oh, right. Post Road?

- Trinity St. Paul. - Mm-hmm.

Oh, Toronto.

Close my eyes and wake up at a table at Terroni.

You know what my favorite dish is there? The spaghetti al limone.

That's my favorite.

- Really? - Yeah.

Huh.

So, if you hate camping so much, why are you out here?

Well, I, um, needed to find some time, you know, alone.

Yeah.

It's the job.

- It can get to you. - Yep.

Okay, that is not a normal owl.

Look, Mom, I'm sorry. I can't help but feel partly responsible for all this.

Partly? Your bossiness lost me my crew!

To be fair, you were kind of soft on them.

No, I wasn't.

I was very soft on them.

Sometimes, you have to step up and do the hard thing.

And if someone is getting in your way and making your job impossible,

- you have to do something about it. - Exactly.

So, you're fired.

- What? - It's just not working out between us.

Wow, being tough feels great.

Huh, good for you.

Now, for the next step.

Get on the phone and get your crew back.

I was gonna say a generous severance package, but okay.

That's when they knew, the call was coming from inside the car.

Boring.

Look, we are grown men. Nothing is gonna scare us that easily.

Guys, you forgot something.

What was that?

Uh, that strangely sounded like Baber.

It sounded like a little girl.

Well, that's Baber, all right.

- Shall we head towards the sound? - Good idea, yes.

We wander through the woods,

trip and fall into a ditch, and get eaten by owls.

All to save that crazy Baber.

No. Baber's not that crazy. I can't believe I just said that.

He just represents a certain percentage of the mosque.

You know, you're not like them at all.

Oh.

Thank you.

So, why are they part of your congregation?

- Well, they chose me. - You mean, they chose your mosque.

Uh, no, it's their mosque, and they chose me to be their imam.

- So, I have to be... - An imam for the people?

You got it. All of them.

Hmm, so, if enough of them didn't want you as their imam anymore?

Well, I'd be out.

Huh.

Anyway, thanks for the water.

Good night, hope you get some sleep.

Oh, I have a feeling, I'm gonna sleep like a baby, yeah.

All right, keep it up.

We haven't got all day.

Mrs. H, I think I got a blister.

- Oh, no, are you okay? - Yeah.

Well, go get a Band-Aid and then get right back here.

We can't stop for every little old blister.

Hop to it.

Look at you.

There's no more naps at work.

Only an hour and half for lunch. And oh, look, I made snacks.

Peeneebee and Jay's.

Well, what's so tough about that?

I kept the crusts on.

Oh, here it comes again, boys.

The taskmaster. Here to crack the whip?

No, I'm done.

- Really? - Yeah, she fired me.

Her own daughter?

What can I say? You do what you have to do.

Sandwich?

No, thanks, I've got work to do.

Let's get cracking, boys.

Nice job, Mom.

You're a hard case.

Even I'm a little intimidated by me.

Dad's gonna be so proud of you.

- Where're you going? - Take the crusts off.

What am I? A monster?

I saw the flycatcher, Daddy.

It was beautiful.

Then it flew away.

Did it find you?

- Morning. - Morning.

How about some personal space?

- Sorry, my bad. - Yeah.

How are we gonna find the others?

Guess I could take ya,

if you like.

Joe, how'd you find us?

Followed the sleep babbling.

Someone's a talker.

Ouch. You're gonna take that, Amaar?

Come on, ladies. Breakfast's getting cold.

There you are.

You go for help and you bring him?

Hey, Rev, how you like your eggs?

I can only do scrambled eggs.

Would you people please keep your voices down?

So, you guys had tents and food.

So much food, almost too much.

All thanks to Joe.

Well, looks like we spent our night out there for nothing.

Oh, I wouldn't say it was for nothing.

Baber, good to see you. You have a sec?

You know, we never talk.

I talk all the time, you never listen.

Well, I'm gonna start.

So, tell me, um, are you happy with our mosque?

So, how was your trip?

Did you find what you were looking for?

No, but I may have found what I needed.

The Rev may not be all that bad once you actually get to know him.

What in the Book of Luke is going on here?

I have a sermon in an hour. You can't still be working.

- You were saying. - I'm sorry, we'll have it done in time.

No, not good enough, not nearly good enough.

I'm tired of your shoddy work and ridiculous timelines.

Really? I kind of like the work.

I wanted to ask, did you use a scissor-tail for this?

Uh...

Fine. Yes.

Carry on.

Just be out of here in an hour, okay? Bye, Amaar.

What was that about?

Oh, long story. But for the record, guys, this place is really coming along.

Nice work!

Thank you.

What does it look like with the lights on?

No!

Yousef?