Original subtitles

- Assalamu alaikum. - Walaikum assalaam.

Fatima, do you realize I've been here over two years?

I was busy.

There is no need to exaggerate.

No, no. I mean here in Mercy. Two years.

Really?

It seems longer.

In a good way or a bad way?

Oh, Amaar.

Guess I'm just feeling reflective. You know, taking stock.

I mean, how do you really know if you're doing well at your job?

Simple.

- Does being an imam make you happy? - Yes.

Do people value and appreciate your work?

- Yes. - Do you get a raise once a year?

No.

Really? If anyone in Mercy deserves to make a good living, it is you.

Thanks, Fatima. You know, I'd say the same thing about you.

Good, because it is time for you to pay your tab.

You know, Fatima, I really value and appreciate your work.

Yes, yes. Money talks, Amaar.

I guess you're wondering why I wanted to meet you today.

To discuss your raise. You said so in your message.

- I did? - Hmm.

You know, when I was a lawyer, I played these things a little closer to the vest.

Yeah, exactly. See how you've grown into this job.

As an imam, you're like an open book.

- No tricks, no ploys. - No raise.

One step ahead of me.

Those lawyer chops are still in there somewhere.

Yasir, when you hired me, you said it was a starting salary.

How long can one man start?

Amaar, I want to give you the raise you deserve. I really do.

- Great. - But it's not up to me anymore, remember?

- We made Baber treasurer. - I know we made Baber treasurer.

That's why I'm asking you. He's gonna turn me down.

I'm sure he'll handle your request fairly and equitably.

So, tell me why you want to steal from this holy place,

to line your pockets with ill-gotten gold.

Yasir, can't we... just...

You two worked this out beforehand, didn't you?

Oh, yes, very much so.

Rayyan, Sarah, look at this.

"Cat in tree: day two. The ladders cometh."

Hey, they got him down.

Oh, that's a relief. That cat was tearing this town apart.

- No, no, the other side. - Oh. Nate's Notables.

Wise words from the mouth of Mercy.

- And I am one of the notables. - Oh!

"As local cafe owner Fatima Dinssa says,

"A spicy curry a day keeps the doctor away,

"but two may give you serious stomach problems."

That's really cute, Fatima.

No, it is a real thing.

Looks like everyone we know is in this.

Ann, Joe, Duncan...

- J.J.! - J.J.'s in this, too?

He's not even in town!

No, J.J. is back.

- Assalamu alaikum. - Walaikum assalaam.

My goodness, J.J.! How was Dubai?

It was good, but, uh, well, I sure am glad to be back home.

And we are glad to have you.

Now, back to me.

Tell me, why do you think you deserve a raise?

Well, I believe my performance has been solid.

I've introduced some innovative programs, and we've seen a surge in the attendance

from the much-coveted youth demographic.

Just one question...

What do you think makes a good imam? Selflessness?

- Sure. - Self-sacrifice?

- Uh-huh. - A charitable nature?

- You gotta have charity. - So would a selfless, charitable imam

ask others to sacrifice, so he may have bounty?

No...

And would he take a small pay cut for the good of a budget-strapped mosque?

- Yeah. Hypothetically... - You drive a hard bargain.

Baber!

J.J., I know things were weird before you left.

No, no, not weird, just sort of strained and unpleasant and bad.

Let's stick with weird.

I am so sorry.

Rayyan, me, too.

I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I'm more certain than ever

- that we are meant to be together. - Totally. Yes.

If we never fight again, it'll be too soon.

I never really got that expression.

So, um, how was Dubai?

Oh, it was okay. Lot of work, but I had a chance to catch up

with an old friend of mine. He's actually engaged, too.

Oh, did you meet his fiancée?

I did. She was nice. She wears hijab, like you. It's funny.

She wears a funny hijab?

No, I just meant they're not married yet,

but apparently he's seen her hair.

Isn't that funny?

Well, um... I guess they're engaged.

There's no hard and fast rule. Just sort of depends on the couple.

Yeah.

What about this couple?

Why, is that something that you've thought about?

No.

- Not much. - Because that's fine.

I always just thought that we would wait until after.

Of course. Of course. You know what? Forget I said it.

Hmm.

- So... - Yeah, so...

Nate of Nate's Notables.

Fatima of Fatima's Cafe, I assume.

Be funny if it was named after some other random Fatima. Am I right?

Hard to believe when I first met you, I thought I did not like you.

Really? When I first met you,

I thought I couldn't like you more.

No sugar.

You are sweet enough already.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Mmm-hmm.

Real newspaperman, you are.

Try writing about something with a little more meat on it?

Whoa, whoa. F. T.

Nate's Notables is the heartbeat of this town, its voice.

Well, which one is it, bedhead, heart or voice?

Okay, lemme ask you this, what's more important?

The musings of the good citizens of this town,

or a new stop sign on Clover Street?

There's a new stop sign on Clover?

Okay, maybe I should write about that.

You're a second-class reporter at a third-rate newspaper,

an embarrassment to the fourth estate.

Counting jokes! Good one.

See what I did there?

- Did you enjoy your meal, Sarah? - Enjoy it?

I'd say the only thing more generous

than your servings is the kindness of your heart.

Well, see you.

That's a strange remark.

Amaar! Hope you weren't waiting long.

My paper boy quit.

We have this an on-again, off-again thing happening.

I'm good. Just enjoying the hustle and bustle of the newsroom.

I know, there's like, an energy, right?

Yeah.

So, what's new?

Or should I say news?

- See what I did there? - Uh-huh. Just stopped by to talk.

Got work problems of my own.

Need a raise.

So ask for a raise. Man-up.

I did man-up. I just got shot down.

Oh. You know what you need?

A second job.

- You think? - Sure.

You know, something that combines your people skills,

your love of the outdoors and your knowledge of current events.

Oh, Nate!

I may be short on cash, but I'm not gonna be your paperboy.

- What, you're a paper boy now? - Apparently.

What's the matter? The old cross-less church not paying, huh?

You call the mosque the "cross-less church"?

- Yeah, sometimes. - What do you call a synagogue?

Synagogue.

- I don't want to offend anybody. - Right.

Anyway, I'm not the paper boy.

I'm just a little short on cash.

The mosque's budget is tight. There's just no money.

Amaar, take it from a fellow performer, there's always more money.

The clergy don't really think of themselves as performers.

- You do a weekly show. - Sermon.

Same thing.

Look, what you need, my friendly, is representation,

you know, an agent.

I know a thing or two about negotiation.

- Why would you wanna help me? - Ah!

Professional courtesy, you know. Not a lot of us showbiz types

in this town, we need to stick together.

I'm not in show business.

Right. That's what the Dalai Lama used to say.

Then, bingo...

Cover of the Rolling Stone.

Oh. Hey, the newspaper. I couldn't get ours off the roof.

The new paper boy's got quite the arm on him.

Look at this.

"Tree cat recovering well."

- They're really milking that story. - No, no. Not that.

Nate's Notables. I was supposed to be in there.

I was supposed to be notable.

And you are notable. Extremely notable.

- Yeah, tell that to Nate. - It's a silly little column.

- What's it matter? - When I was in high school,

we had a quotable quotes page in our yearbook,

and every year I tried to get in

and every year nothing.

What's the problem? Aren't I quotable?

Darling, that was 30...

20 years ago.

I mean, I know it's a small thing,

but that memory's always stung and now it's flooding back.

What's so funny?

Well, you're mixing your metaphors. Stinging, flooding.

- Ah! - Darling, wait, No!

A flood of bees! I've heard of that.

- Assalamu alaikum. - Walaikum assalaam.

- You're back! - Yeah!

- Rayyan must be happy? - Yeah, yeah, it's good.

We're good. It's all good. Really good.

- Problem? - I oversold it, didn't I?

Maybe a bit.

I think Rayyan may have got the impression that I want to see her without her hijab.

Do you?

Maybe a little bit.

All right, A.R. Let's do this thing.

No, Fred, wait. We discussed this. I said "no".

I got to go. But, uh, don't worry, it's well worth the wait.

Rayyan has great hair.

I'm sorry about your rosebush.

He's new.

Gotta go.

Hi, Sarah Hamoudi. H-A-M-O-U-D-I?

Nate Shore. S-H-O-R-E.

Oh. I know. Um, I just came here to, uh, to renew my subscription.

Outstanding. That'd be $20.

Well, you can't put a price on knowledge

and if you could, it would probably be really expensive.

What a strange remark.

Oh, hey, I just wanted to say, really love Nate's Notables.

Thanks. I thought it was a fun way to give back to the town.

Everyone gets the chance to shine.

Well, not everyone.

I mean, there must be at least one much-loved quirky local

who hasn't shone.

You're right. How could I have been so blind?

Well, don't be too hard on yourself.

But still, how could I forget Baber?

That guy's a one-man quote machine.

No, no, no. Someone else. I mean...

Maybe you just can't see the forest of notables

through the trees of other notables.

Hmm.

You mind? I just wanna get something down before I forget.

Not at all.

It's Sarah with an H.

Okay.

- I'm no pushover like my client here. - I'm not your client.

- I play hardball. - Guys...

We've been here for over an hour, let's be reasonable.

- Yes, listen to your client. - Oh, I'm about to get reasonable.

- Reasonable to the extreme. - That does not sound terribly reasonable.

We want a 50 percent pay raise, plus all religious holidays off.

- He's pretty religious. - He is an imam.

Those holidays are when we need him the most.

Well, that's gonna cost you.

No. It will not. We will not pay him another red penny.

All right. We have no choice.

This mosque has no imam.

From this moment on, Amaar is officially on strike.

- What? - What?

You can strike, right?

Remember, you can't let anybody cross the picket line.

This isn't a picket line. I told you, I can't strike.

And I respect that, mister.

Now, here's your sign.

Amaar, "strike" is just a word.

No, it's the other side that I'm worried about.

Oh. Sorry about that. It's recycled.

Look, I've been through this kind of thing before, all right?

You're not being unreasonable. You're only asking for what you deserve.

Well, when you say it that way, it almost makes sense.

- And that worries me. - Be strong, all right?

I'll be with you every step of the way on this thing.

Spiritually. I mean, obviously, I'm not gonna be

hanging out here in the hot sun all day, huh?

Okay. Remember before when you said

that since you've been wearing hijab, no man has seen your hair?

Uh-huh.

Well, uh, funny story.

I was talking to Amaar, and apparently, he has seen your hair.

What?

Oh, no.

No. No, no, no, no, no. I can explain that.

That happened after you and I were seeing each other, and it was a complete...

Wait. You're telling me this happened after we started seeing each other?

Uh...

No, it happened while we were seeing each other.

And that doesn't make it any better.

No, it doesn't.

- J.J., Assalamu alaikum. - Walaikum assalaam.

- How's it going? - Wouldn't you like to know?

- Problem? - You bet I got a problem.

- We need to talk. - Okay.

What's wrong?

I'm, uh, watching for Fred.

I know it's ridiculous, but I'm supposed to be on strike.

You holding out for more money?

That's fair. You deserve a decent wage.

You're right. I suppose I do.

You're right.

I'm on strike.

No. Wait. Wait.

Please come back here. Um...

- Talk to me. I'm... I'm here to listen. - Are you sure?

Absolutely.

Okay. Okay, buddy.

You asked for it.

- Nate, Yasir Hamoudi. - H-A-M-O-U-D-I.

- Very good. - Ah, it's a gift.

And your wife was in before, spelling.

How funny.

Speaking of people that say things,

you know, people that say funny, nay, notable things...

Well, I can't do this. Look...

Your little column has got my wife feeling a bit jilted.

Could you help me out?

- You want me to put her in the Notables. - Exactly.

She says memorable things all the time.

Just this morning she said something that was...

Ah, it was unforgettable.

Oh, what was it?

Well, I forget. But here's a list of her greatest hits.

I promise you, you will laugh.

I can't.

You can't laugh? How sad.

No, I can't just put her in.

It's gotta be spontaneous.

You know, it's like a trust thing I can build with readers.

Ah. Well, think about it.

After all, you can't blame a guy for trying.

Unless, of course, he's trying to kill you.

Look, I saw her hair by accident. For about two seconds.

And it was hugely embarrassing for both of us,

if that makes you feel any better.

Maybe a little. I just... I just feel rejected somehow.

J.J., maybe you're thinking about it the wrong way,

as if Rayyan wearing the hijab had something to do with you.

Maybe you need to figure out what it means for her.

I never really thought of it that way.

Talk to her.

I mean, trust me.

No harm ever came from talking.

- Scab! Scab! Scab! - Yeah. I gotta go.

Ah. I just saw Amaar out front.

Can you tell me how he appears to be... How can I put this?

On strike?

I like to think of it as a lockout.

I should never have left this to you. What are you doing?

- I'm playing softball. - It's hard, Baber.

I know it's hard, but we'll get through it.

- You are gonna have to resolve this. - Oh, really? Or what?

Or we'll call an election and appoint a treasurer who can.

You can't do that. Because I have a contract!

You don't have a contract.

- I don't? - No.

Maybe I should've hired Fred.

I'm really sorry I got upset earlier.

Amaar explained the whole thing.

That's good.

Really? 'Cause you kind of said that like someone who wasn't good.

Do you really understand why the hijab is important to me?

Yeah, of course I do.

Okay. That's a lie.

Tell me.

When I was a girl, I never thought about wearing hijab.

Then I went away to college, and I met some really exciting people...

- Whoa. Do I want to hear this? - Exciting Muslim people, J.J.

I finally felt like I was part of something larger.

You can express your faith in a lot of ways.

I chose to wear the hijab.

So you see, it's not about the part of me that it covers.

It's about the part of me that it shows.

I guess that sounds kind of silly, huh?

No. No, not at all.

Listen, I bought you something.

Oh.

J.J., it's a hijab!

It's a leopard-print hijab.

I... I saved the receipt.

- Hey, it's Sarah H-A-M-O... - I didn't come here to spell, buddy.

I came here to reclaim a little something I like to call my self-esteem.

What do you want me to do?

The Notables thing isn't hard news, but it's still gotta be real.

That's fine. I don't care what you do.

- You don't? - I like me.

My husband likes me.

- Lots of people like me. - I like you.

Oh. Well, thanks, Nate, I like you, too.

But wait. I just came here to tell you that I'm over it.

The only thing that matters is that I know I'm quotable and notable.

Why, I think that's very mature.

Oh, thank you.

You know, it took a lot of soul-searching to get there, but I...

Goodbye, Mr. Shore.

You can just take your newspaper and sell it.

Hmm.

Ha! Look at him sweat.

One day on strike and we've got this skirt-wearer right where we want him.

It's called a salwar kameez.

That's the kind of imam-y knowledge these clowns should be paying you for.

Look, I'm sure that Baber can find

some room in the budget somewhere, right?

- I have to go. Please sort this out. - Excellent.

I gotta warn you, if we don't hear a number we like,

my boy here is prepared to take this strike into the next decade.

No, I'm not.

I can't turn my back on the people that need me, Fred.

Look, whatever happens here today, I'll be back on duty first thing tomorrow.

No offense, Amaar, but you really blow at this strike thing.

Well, well, well, Fred.

Looks like the sandal is on the other formerly sandal-free foot.

Hold your camels. Yasir just said there was some room in the budget.

Yasir does not know the books like I do.

I promise you, we are broke.

- Excuse me guys, I... - Don't worry, J.J.

Our imam will be with you in a few moments.

He cannot turn his back on you.

- I know. That's why I'm here. - What's up?

I wanted to thank you for talking to me yesterday, Amaar.

I know I haven't lived here that long,

but this is really starting to feel like...

Well, like my mosque. In fact, I've made a decision...

I'd like to make a donation.

Would this be a bad time to drop off a check?

Not at all.

Put a pot of coffee on, skirt boy, we're gonna be here all night.

No, thanks. Coffee keeps me up.

That's the point.

You know, I have to say, I feel a huge weight has been lifted.

- All that work for what? - Exactly.

To get in a silly paper.

I just want to put the whole thing behind me.

- Ah, you're in! - Yes!

"You can take this paper and sell it," says local 'spark plug' Sarah Hamoudi."

Oh, spark plug. I like that.

I like it, too.

Fatima, I believe I'll have a piece of apple pie

and a chocolate milkshake.

Oh, big spender.

Well, as we speak, Fred is getting me a new contract

that will finally give me some breathing room.

Good news, preachy.

I got you your raise.

Oh! Nicely done.

What did we get? Thirty, forty percent?

- Better, ten! - That's not better.

I know, but I thought you were gonna start guessing a lot lower.

Forty percent? Come on.

Still, ten percent's not bad.

Right. After my ten percent fee as your agent,

- that leaves you... - Right back where I started from.

But with an important moral victory under the belt.

I don't think I can afford a belt.

Anyhoo, nice working with you, pal.

Oh, make all checks payable to Tuppertainment Inc. It's a tax thing.

You think I could get that on my tab?