All language subtitles for Little.Mosque.on.the.Prairie.S03E11.True.Bromance.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-FLUX_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

- Hi. - Hey.

I'm looking for Florence.

Man, Florence.

She's gone.

Really? I'm sorry.

No, it's all right. She's in a better place now.

Took a job at Odena Gazette.

- You must be the new editor-in-chief. - And reporter and photographer.

Plus, I'm in charge of the jumble.

Nate Shore.

Hi, I'm Amaar, the imam from the mosque.

Walk and talk with me, Amaar, the imam from the mosque.

What can I do for ya?

I'm here to drum up some press.

Can you hold this for me?

- Sure. - Thank you.

The mosque has joined forces with Mercy Meals.

We're gonna deliver food to the elderly and needy who can't leave their home.

Move to the left.

Yeah, you could say it's a bit left,

but you don't have to be socialist to care.

That thing you're holding? Can you move it a little to the left?

All right.

- Yeah. - All right.

Up on your tippy toes now.

Up, up, up, up.

Yeah. Good, good, good.

Uh, anyway, I was hoping Mercy Chronicle would cover it.

You know, get the word out. Alert the community.

- That's good. Let's do it. - Really?

You wanna come right now?

Not right now. I got stuff to do.

Okay.

It's good!

Okay. Let's do this.

- Congratulations, brother Yasir. - Thank you, Fatima.

I might have won this award,

but it is for the Small Businessman of the Year.

There's no way a woman can win.

Well, that's why we created the Small Businesswoman of the Year award.

How nice for her.

What a bloody waste of taxpayers' money.

Oh, salmon puffs.

Honey, this is so exciting.

- Do you have your speech ready? - Yeah.

Why? I can just look out into the crowd,

and remember the only two reasons why I am here.

You're gonna forget. He's gonna forget.

Oh! Let's get this over with.

Isn't he great? You are great. Come on!

Good luck!

So what's your story?

It's pretty simple, really.

I was a lawyer in Toronto, but I realized

I could do more good following a different path.

What about you?

The same exact thing.

Except instead of being a lawyer, I got fired from a bunch of different jobs,

instead of finding God, went to journalism school.

Well, the press is a noble profession.

Absolutely.

Righting wrongs, exposing corruption.

Plus, the hours are wicked flexible, and I like to sleep in.

So, uh, what's the game plan here?

Well, we are going to deliver each of these coolers to a person in need.

Uh-huh. Let's see what we got.

Meatloaf, peas...

God, no wonder these people are hungry.

Stop that. Those are for the needy.

What these people "need-y" is some good food.

See what I did there?

- Very clever. - Idea.

I know this place off the highway that has the best wings.

- Okay. - Well, we should stop there

and get some good wings for the Mercy Meals people.

Picture that...

Ooh, chicken wings. Awesome.

Mmm. And I thought it was going to be something crappy, like meatloaf and peas.

Fine. We will go to the wing place. But just for a second.

Hey, don't do it for me.

Do it for the needy.

And the hungry, which also happens to be me at this moment.

Just get in the van, please.

All right!

I'm Yasir Hamoudi.

Small Businessman of the Year.

Yeah, I know. I read the sign.

That old thing.

You are...

It's okay. You don't have to pretend to learn my name.

Oh, I don't pretend, I do.

That's what sets us small businessmen of the year apart.

So let's have it.

Why? So we can make this awkward, 30-second interaction more meaningful?

You're certainly making it more awkward.

Sorry, it's been a long day.

- It's Susan. - Susan.

I'll remember Susan, black-eyed Susan,

Lazy Susan.

Yeah, thanks a lot.

"And now the small businessman with the great, big heart..."

Sheesh. Why do I have to say that?

Yasir Hamoudi.

- I don't know, Nate. - Trust me, it'll be fine.

Have I ever steered you wrong before?

Mate, I've only known you an hour, but yes, it's a bar.

Amaar, Amaar... This isn't a bar.

This is a restaurant-bar.

And the difference is?

I don't know. It's got to be one, right? Hence the sign.

Look, I don't drink. It's against my beliefs.

Your beliefs or your religion?

- Aren't they the same thing? - I don't know. Are they?

- Stop that. - You've got a lot of rules, rule guy.

They're not rules.

They're my beliefs, which I choose to follow.

All I'm hearing is, "I choose this." "My beliefs that."

What about the people who don't have a choice?

The Mercy Meals people will go sadly wingless

- because we can't go into Shooters. - Okay, fine.

We will get the wings from the restaurant. Then we'll leave.

Great, you brought us to a theme bar.

Only if the theme is hot ladies.

- I think it is. Yes. - It's a good theme.

Six pounds of a Fire Alarm and six pounds of Kiss of Death.

Great. Let's go.

We'll have the rest of your order in a flash, mate.

"Rest of your order"?

Thanks, Cassandra. I meant to ask last time.

Is that Cassandra with a "C" or Kassandra with a "K".

"C."

Well, let's make sure we "c" each other again.

- See what I did there? - As always, yes.

Let's go.

- We hear it's someone's birthday. - Who's birthday?

No birthday here.

Guess what!

One, two, three

There's a party over here

This guy's older by a year

Hope you have an awesome day

Booze and ribs on us, okay?

And with at least 25 small businesses in Mercy,

I can't believe that you chose me

as the recipient in this, the 25th year of the award. Thank you.

Do you know what the Businesswoman of the Year does?

Gives haircuts to dogs.

Yes, you've already told me.

- Dogs! - Shh.

I'd like to point out the two reasons why I'm here today.

And they thought I'd forget. But I'm not gonna forget.

I'd like to thank my daughter, Rayyan, for keeping me grounded.

Yes. And who could ever forget my lovely Susan?

Without her, this... would not be possible.

Thank you very much, Mercy. Thank you.

- Well... - Wow.

Well, I was wrong.

You are not a self-important blowhard like I thought you were, were you?

Thank you.

Thank you. It means a lot to me.

What exactly are we talking about?

You thanked your lovely, lovely Susan.

Susan? Who the hell is Susan?

Oh, no.

I can't believe you told 'em it was my birthday.

How else will we get free cake?

I dunno, pay for it?

Yeah, see, that's like free, but it's more expensive.

What do we need free cake for, anyway?

Hello? The needy. Can you stop thinking about yourself?

- But you're eating it. - Like I'm gonna give 'em untasted cake.

You guys wanna dance?

Uh, no, I can't.

Sure you can. It's just a self-confidence thing.

Dancing is one of those Muslim... No, no, no...

I thought you said it was a choice.

- Right now, it's a rule. - Okay, no problem.

I can totally respect your thing.

- And I'm not just saying that. - Thank you.

But is it cool if I dance with her? I'm trying to make new friends.

- Fine. But after that we go. - Totally.

Can I borrow a quarter?

Hello.

I know what you're thinking.

What is a Muslim doing here?

I've been wondering the same thing.

Babes, booze, birthdays.

The only thing I haven't done yet is...

Booyah!

- Gamble. - I won!

We hit the jackpot with your lucky quarter. Whoo-hoo!

Yeah!

Booyah.

Sarah, Sarah.

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. Sarah.

Ooh.

- Oh, that's just great, Yasir. - Dad!

You've really done it this time.

I am so sorry. But when you hear what happened...

You're gonna laugh, you're gonna laugh!

You must be the lovely Susan.

Actually, it's Sarah.

- Oh. I thought it was Sarah. - It is.

But then I thought how could her husband

possibly screw up the name of the most important person in his life?

- How indeed? - Could you excuse us just for a second?

Darling, funny story.

I was just about to go on stage and...

I met this woman named Susan.

That's why you forgot the name of your wife?

While she was giving me the wrap-it-up signal

and it just sort of slipped in there. Isn't that a funny story?

No, Yasir, It's not.

A funny story is a guy walks into the bar, the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

Also, the guy's a horse.

It was an innocent mistake.

Susan's a very common name. Black-eyed Susan, Lazy Susan.

- The Susan I was engaged to. - Engaged to?

Oh.

- Can you believe our luck? - I'm starting to.

Why so down? It was your lucky quarter that won us a jackpot.

No! That was not my quarter.

As soon as I gave it to you, it legally became yours.

It should've been mine.

I've been playing that machine all day.

Yes.

Well, we should really get going.

We have all those perishables in the van.

Perishing.

Totally. Look, Amaar, I know this wasn't what you had in mind.

Thanks for being cool with everything.

Don't mention it. Ever.

Please.

- Jerk. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Did that guy just call you a jerk?

- No, I think he called you a jerk. - No, he just called you a jerk.

- That's racist. - I don't think it is.

Hey.

I said, "Hey."

Look, Amaar's my friend. I'm not gonna let you drop the J-bomb.

You've got a problem with that?

Guys, I have mediated quite a few conflicts in my day,

and I can assure you there is no problem here.

Oh, I've got a problem, all right.

A six-foot tall problem with a tragic bandanna fixation.

Now, say you're sorry.

You're in for a world of hurt.

Really? You're going with "world of hurt"?

- See what I did there? - Yes.

For future reference, I'll always see what you did there.

Nate, this is not the way to settle this.

- Not the Muslim way? - No.

That, and he's huge.

Don't worry. I'm sure he looks tough, but he's all talk.

Trust me.

- Chicken wing? - Bar brawl!

No, uh... It's okay, everyone.

It's okay, sir.

I can't help but feel partly responsible.

I'd call someone about bail, but I don't know anyone.

Hmm. I'd call someone, too,

but I don't want anyone to know.

It's the worst night of my life.

Hey. There's always someone having it worse.

What? No pillows?

The couch has pillows.

Couch pillows?

They're all nubby.

- You are mad at me, aren't you? - I'm not mad at you.

Why would I be mad at you?

I don't know.

Bar brawl, night in jail,

impounded Mercy Meals van that doesn't even belong to you.

Okay, Nate, I am mad at you.

Let me explain something to you. This whole imam thing,

it's more than a job like a...

Butcher or a baker or a...

- Rodeo clown? - Sure. It's a commitment.

I'm a spiritual leader and I have to set a good example.

I know, Amaar. I know. I'm so sorry.

I'm so, so sorry.

I'm always doing stuff like this.

Your instincts are right. You should just forget about me

and go be the best rodeo clown...

- Imam! - Imam, you can be.

Nate, it's fine.

I forgive you.

Wow. Thanks. I like that. Yeah.

Man, I'm parched.

Wanna go somewhere, grab a hair of the dog?

You're right. Too early in the day?

I knew you dated Susan, but engaged to a Susan?

Why didn't you tell me?

Because I was waiting for the right time to do so.

Yasir, we've known each other for almost 30 years.

Yes. And I couldn't tell you the first year. Could I? Why?

Because you would have thought I was pushing you away.

And the second year?

The second year was the year we got married.

I couldn't tell you that year.

What about the third year?

Third year is an odd number, and that's plain bad luck.

Besides, what's it matter, if I was engaged to Susan?

I married you.

Why did you break it off?

Because with Susan, everything was always so complicated.

You should've seen our engagement.

- What happened? - It was awful. The pomp.

Pomp? What kind of pomp? Our engagement didn't have pomp.

Because with Susan,

I had to mask the fact

that it wasn't working with, um, romantic tactics.

Romantic tactics?

Yeah.

There were roses and violinists and ponies.

Susan got ponies?

They were miniature ponies.

You can barely ride them.

Duncan.

I guess you got that press you were looking for.

Nate published a story.

He sure did. Front page.

Wow. Think of the publicity for the mosque.

Oh, I am.

I wish we could afford to do it every day.

Really?

Is that a good idea?

Yeah, a lot of needy people out there.

What are you talking about?

Mercy Meals.

What are you talking about?

Jail.

"Local imam cleared of all charges."

Thanks, Nate.

- Thanks a lot. - Hey, no need to thank me, man.

Told you I'd make it up to you.

- How did you get this out so fast? - Printed a late edition.

Everything's ready, except the front page

and the jumble. You help with both.

How did I help with the jumble?

The solution was local imam cleared of all charges.

I can't believe he told everyone I was in jail.

Hello. "Cleared of all charges."

Yes, but you told them I was charged.

If you hadn't published the story in the first place,

no one would have even found out.

Think they'll dwell on it?

- I'll print a retraction. - No...

Don't print anything.

Don't do anything.

Just let me handle this. Okay?

What? It's a great mug shot.

Brother Amaar.

May I remind you that you are...

The spiritual leader of this community. I know.

This is all just a comical misunderstanding.

I shall be the judge of what is comical.

Who is this Nate?

He's just a friend.

Why do you need friends? The mosque is your friend.

- You don't understand. - I do.

I've had friends. Very many friends.

Some of his best friends are friends.

Guys, if all we do is spend time with other Muslims,

we miss the point of Islam.

Here, Rayyan will understand.

What the heck did you get up to last night?

It's all here in the story.

Well, I guess my question is "how?"

I made a new friend. Things got a little out of hand.

But as I was telling Baber and Fatima, it's important to...

Ditch this new friend?

- I was going to say, reach out. - Amaar.

No offense, but this guy sounds like a train wreck.

He's not.

Okay, he is. But he's one of those fun guys. You know?

It's always fun to hang out with a fun guy

as long as there's no real harm done.

Amaar! Amaar!

I've gotta borrow some rope, some fireworks and a spatula.

Fireworks?

Never mind. I'll catch you later.

Oh my...

What? What is all this?

I never want you to feel like you're second best.

Rose petals and ponies?

Yasir, that's incredible.

It's romance, and it's only for you, darling.

And the good news is, these ponies...

Very cute.

Twice as cute as the ones I got Susan.

Susan? You're just...

Reusing the romance you created with Susan.

No, no, no, no reusing.

It's a re-imagining.

I'm getting second-hand pomp.

These are first-hand ponies. Susan, darling...

I have some ponies to return.

I don't know how to say this, but... I don't know how to say this, but...

This isn't working.

I feel like I need a little more space in my life right now.

We're very different. You deserve better.

Mmm. Classic break-up mistakes.

Pick one idea and stick with it.

Okay. Let's go with the space thing.

Space. Space?

Space is just a stopover on the road to splitsville.

Rayyan, what are you doing?

You wanted me to be Nate. Is it too much?

Maybe I should just avoid his phone calls.

That's what us guys usually do.

And what if you see him on the street?

- More avoiding. - No. He deserves the truth, Amaar.

Be upfront. Be forthright.

You're right.

You sure I can't just send him an email?

No.

March 1976.

What?

I ended my engagement with Susan in March of 1976.

- Why? What happened? - You.

Yasir, that's impossible. We only met in August.

But I saw you in March.

Is that true?

I was having an awful time in London.

I walked into the hotel, ready for my shift,

there you were standing behind the front desk.

God, I hated that job.

I couldn't help myself.

I kept on wandering by smiling at you like a maniac.

I thought maybe you couldn't speak English.

Do you remember the first thing you said to me?

Please stop staring?

Room 304 is ready

to be cleaned.

There was something about you.

It was so kind and warm. Your smile...

Lit up that lobby.

What about Susan?

I knew my life with Susan would have been okay.

But with you, it was my first glimpse into something extraordinary.

Yasir, that's crazy. What if it hadn't worked out with us?

My only regret would have been not taking a chance with you

when every instinct was telling me that I should.

You still feel that way after 28 years?

Even more so.

It's been 29.

- Hey. - Hey.

- We need to talk. - Can we talk?

You first.

Maybe this isn't working out.

Hey, no, me first.

I guess, I'm gonna make this all better.

The Mercy Meals van.

How did you get it back?

I got my ways.

I'm dying to hear them.

I paid the fine.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

Okay. So the Mercy Meals didn't turn out the way you wanted it.

But you had fun, right?

Well, that depends. Did you learn your lesson?

Don't follow.

The lying, the conniving, the manipulation?

Says you.

We ended up in jail!

Okay, what's with the lessons?

Why does everything have to have a lesson?

Amaar, I understand why these people look up to you.

You're their rock, the man. I get that.

But haven't you ever had just a friend?

You know, a buddy that you didn't have to spiritually advise?

No, not in recent memory.

Well, do you want one?

You know what?

Yeah, I think I do.

All right. Well, then maybe we can work this out.

I'll try to behave. You try not to "imam" me.

Agreed.

- Just give me the keys, please. - Yeah.

It was too bad. The Mercy Meals food will have to be thrown out.

I almost forgot, I did you a solid.

Delivered to all the people we missed.

The food that was in the van for two days? You delivered that?

Best part, stayed hot 'cause of the sun.

- I'll start calling people. - Get in the van, please.

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