Original subtitles

My daughter means the world to me.

- Her happiness is my happiness. - I don't know what to say.

The proposal is very simple.

While you're working here with me in Mercy,

you and Rayyan will go on a series of chaperoned dates.

Very Islamic, very traditional.

Then you get married.

- What? - Okay, hopefully you get married.

Why get hung up on the details?

- Yes, but... - J.J.,

your father and I go back a long way.

You're like family.

You could say you're like a son to me.

Wouldn't that make Rayyan my sister?

Okay, scratch that last part.

The point is, Rayyan is onboard.

- Seriously? She's really interested in me? - Uh-huh.

How interested?

I don't know. You'd have to ask her,

but I wouldn't recommend it because you're coming off needy.

Well, if Rayyan has agreed, then I don't see any reason not to.

Jenae Jaffer, you've made me very happy.

I'm glad.

Glad nothing. Who wouldn't be happy at a time like this?

You don't look happy.

- I... - I know that you and Rayyan are close,

and that's why I wanted you to be the first to know.

Obviously, Rayyan knows, and J.J., and I also told Sarah.

Hey, buddy.

You okay with this?

I ran into him in the hallway.

So are you okay?

No, I'm not okay.

I'm freezing.

You live in the uninsulated loft of a church that's drafty as hell.

When I moved in, you said it was cozy.

I was speaking landlord. Different language.

Anyway, I was talking about J.J. and Rayyan.

It's never gonna happen.

Rayyan's not gonna get backed into some arranged marriage.

- Of course not, she's... - Seriously, I'm not worried.

I didn't say you were. Are you?

Of course not. That's why I said I'm not worried.

Okay, don't worry.

- I'm not... Sorry. - No worries.

Checkmate.

Well, this is nice.

Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.

Why don't you and I give them a little privacy, honey?

Hmm. Yes.

- This is awkward. - Yeah.

I thought it was awkward before she whispered, "This is awkward."

So what are we supposed to do?

We're supposed to ask each other questions.

Like a job interview.

- Okay, so what's your favorite food? - Okay.

Uh, mini doughnuts.

What's your favorite color?

- Purple. - Purple?

I don't have a favorite color.

- Who does the housework, husband or wife? - Both.

No, wait. Let the kids do it.

Done. See you at the wedding.

Well, let's just see how this first date goes and take it from there.

- I guess we need a chaperone. - I'll do it.

Nice of them to give us our privacy.

I'll get it.

Just pretend I'm not here.

- It's a cordless phone. - I'll just be a minute. Hello?

Amaar. Yes, just...

Slow down.

What happened?

Uh...

Probably just kids.

What makes you say that?

Well, in 90% of these cases, that's what we say.

What happened?

I was getting ready for bed and I heard weird noises.

- Did you see anyone? - I didn't come downstairs.

- Why not? - Weird noises.

So they got you, too?

I thought you went home.

I did. Church has a silent alarm.

Why doesn't the mosque have one?

How do you know it doesn't?

There's a mind-scrambler.

They haven't taken anything.

I'll install new locks on the weekend. Good night.

You guys are going home?

It's the middle of the night.

We're not bowling.

It's just that I feel creeped out.

If you're frightened, you can come sleep on my couch.

No, no, of course not.

I'm a big boy.

Don't worry about me. Go.

Good night.

Not going bowling.

So you didn't sleep at all?

Who knows? Maybe I just dreamt I was awake.

You could always come stay with me until the new locks are in,

but I assure you, no danger.

- So what's the safe for? - You can't be too careful.

What's in there?

Keepsakes, mementos, bric-a-brac.

So it's full of garbage?

Not garbage, bric-a-brac.

Good thing the thieves didn't find it.

You're telling me.

- Glad I found you. - Found me? We agreed to meet for lunch.

- We did? - Mmm-hmm.

I should get a Day-Timer.

So what's up?

I can't chaperone your date with J.J. tonight.

Can Dad chaperone?

- No, there's a Magnum-athon on tonight. - A what?

A Magnum, P.I. marathon.

Who's Magnum, P.I.?

- He's a private detective. - Why is he running a marathon?

Nevermind.

Oh, hey, Fatima, Could you chaperone my date with J.J. tonight?

- I have to work. - That's okay. They can have dinner here.

I don't want our first date to be at Fatima's.

Sets the bar too high.

Second date could only disappoint.

Nice try.

What about Baber?

What? Do I have crumbs on my beard?

Rayyan needs a chaperone for a date.

I see. What sort of date?

J.J. and I wanna go see a movie tonight, Gabrielle's Heart.

No. None of this sinful night dating!

If I am going to be chaperone, we will go on a proper outing in the day time.

I propose a nature hike. Hmm?

Magnum P.I. it is.

Is night dating really sinful?

No, I just don't want to watch Gabrielle's Heart. Ugh.

So, are you sure you don't mind if J.J. and I join you tonight?

Does Magnum P.I. mind wearing a Hawaiian shirt?

Yes?

No. He's his own man.

It'll be fun, just the four of us.

The four of us?

- Assalamu alaikum. - Walaikum assalam.

Walaikum assalam. What are you doing here?

I'm gonna stay with you guys for a couple days.

I'm having some work done on my apartment.

Sure, let's go with that.

It'll be fun to hang out. We haven't done it for a while.

Yeah... Um, J.J.'s coming over.

Okay. Uh... I can leave.

Are you sure? I mean, you can stay...

You're the boss!

So, are you okay?

- I haven't seen you since this whole... - Why is everyone asking if I'm okay?

Rayyan, I'm fine.

You have my blessing.

What blessing? I'm talking about the break-in.

Right, break-in.

Very unsettling.

Anyway, you won't even know I'm here.

You just don't see Burt Reynolds anymore.

You're not seeing him now. That's Tom Selleck.

Dad, maybe we're keeping Amaar up. He's gonna sleep in here tonight.

Are you kidding? We have four episodes left.

Who wants coffee?

J.J., can you help me make it?

Yasir's espresso machine is crazy complicated.

Oh, uh... Yeah, sure.

So, you and Rayyan?

Exciting.

Uh, well, Rayyan's a great girl and plus I think I'm at a time in my life where...

Sure. But let's be reasonable.

You're not gonna move to Mercy.

Oh, no, of course not.

But then again, who knows?

- "Who knows?" - Yeah, it's a nice place. Good people.

Probably great to raise kids.

Kids?

Hey! Be careful with that machine. It's very expensive!

- Better. - So...

I didn't see anything.

You saw my hair! You saw me without my hijab!

You're right, I saw a lot.

Uh...

Here. You want to put this on?

Yeah, Amaar. I want to wear a tea towel.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

What are you doing in here?

I was gonna get water. What are you doing?

I was hungry.

Anything good in there?

Are you gonna get out or do I spend the night in the fridge?

You're right. I'm so sorry.

- Assalamu alaikum. - Walaikum assalam.

Big plans for today?

Uh... Not really. Just going to hang around hair.

I mean hair.

I mean here. Just hang around here. You?

I was... I'm just gonna hang around the house.

Hello?

Any chance you still want to take J.J. and I on that nature hike?

I thought you did not like the great outdoors.

Right now, I'm not so crazy about the great indoors, either.

You're spoiling us, Amaar. Where did this food come from?

I went out and bought some groceries.

- Fresh orange juice? - Yeah.

- More hash browns? More hash browns? - You don't have...

- Yes, please. - I'm gonna scramble a few more eggs.

Are you okay, Amaar? You seem a little jumpy this morning.

Oh, I had some trouble sleeping. I guess I'm still skittish from the break-in.

Really, nothing else is bothering you?

It's a break-in. Very traumatic.

You think you're safe. Someone comes into your space,

takes something important...

- What did they take? - Huh?

The burglars. What did they take?

Nothing.

Then what are you talking about?

Look, do you two want more scrambled eggs or not?

Uh...

Sure.

Great.

The chaperone is here. Enough of this close-y, close-y.

We're not close. We're on opposite sides of the car.

What if the parking brake gives out and the car rolls away?

Is the whistle really necessary?

This whistle will save your life if you get lost. Here.

- Assalam alaikum, brother Baber. I'm J.J. - Walaikum assalam.

What would you like me to tell your parents?

About what?

About starving to death in a crevice because you weren't wearing a whistle.

Crevice?

We're not climbing Kilimanjaro.

Oh!

Flare gun, working order. Check.

Hey, guys.

Amaar, you don't have to clean.

My pleasure. Just earning my keep.

But I have a cleaning lady who comes.

- Daima is a woman? - She is now. It's a long story.

Anyway, she was just here yesterday.

Really?

She's not very good.

Look how dusty this is.

That's a duster.

Exactly. How hard can it be to run a hand vac over one of these?

Okay.

We're just. We're gonna... We're gonna go now.

Slow down,

- there's poison ivy everywhere. - Oh.

If we go any slower, we'll be walking backwards.

Stop. This area will do very nicely.

Uh, nicely for what? I didn't realize we had a destination.

I'm going to teach you how to build a lean-to.

Oh!

What's a lean-to?

Hopefully some sort of teleportation device so we can go home.

You know, I'm worried about Amaar. Vacuuming a feather duster?

It's not that strange.

Yeah, but then he dusted the vacuum. He's worried about more than the break-in.

Well, I'm worried, too, but we can't play armchair psychiatrist.

Aw, you never want to play armchair psychiatrist.

- Can I help you? - Ah, yes.

Um, my espresso machine...

How can I put this... It blew up!

- Did you bring the receipt? - Oh, yeah.

Did you bring the warranty?

- Honey? - It's in the wall safe.

Did you bring the wall safe?

Please stop asking things.

I can't remember why I even agreed to this in the first place.

It's a date with me.

Oh, right.

That's fun.

Yeah, we learned how to build a lean-to,

make a fire without matches, and a rain hat out of moss.

I think Baber really needs a woman in his life.

If I had any lingering ideas about bachelorhood,

those have been squashed.

I guess we'd better go get Baber out of the crevasse.

I thought it was crevice.

No, crevice is small.

Crevasse is bigger.

You learn something new every day.

Where's my combination?

- What combination? - To my wall safe.

I wrote it down and put it on the coffee table.

- That coffee table? - No, the coffee table by the toilet.

Of course this coffee table.

Uh, I was cleaning up. I might have thrown it away.

Amaar, my espresso machine is a $300 paperweight

and the warranty is in the wall safe.

- You thinking what I'm thinking? - You're going to slap yourself?

No. We've got some safecracking to do.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize you're still unraveling.

Maybe we can remember the combination. Anniversary? Birthday?

I didn't set the combination. It came with the safe.

Really? You should change that.

It'd be easier to remember.

Oh, that's an excellent idea.

I'm trying to come up with a solution.

Like safecracking? You're acting...

I'm sorry. I haven't been able to sleep since J...

Since the break in.

Oh, I know, the break-in.

Yes.

I'm sorry, but Amaar,

maybe you have to move on.

What am I supposed to do?

Look inside yourself. You'll find the solution.

Why do they make these things

so tough to get into?

Now, my children, I have many ideas for our next outing.

I am going to teach you how to play bocce ball. Bocce ball!

Actually, Baber,

J.J. and I were thinking, we really had fun today,

but it might be best if the three of us didn't go out anymore.

You're calling it quits? But you've only had one date.

No. What Rayyan means, I think,

is it might be best if the two of us didn't go out with

well, you.

You don't want to go out with me anymore?

Is there somebody else? Someone younger?

No, no. We just don't wanna get tied down to one chaperone right now.

Don't give me that old line.

Oh, we just know that you're going to make

some young couple a wonderful chaperone one day.

Why don't you just leave?

- Baber, listen. - Just go, go!

Why are you taking a torch to my dad's safe?

'Cause I blew up his espresso machine.

Oh.

You might need a bigger torch. They use that for crème brûlée.

I knew that.

So how was the hike?

A disaster.

Really?

Oh, well, J.J. was fine, but Baber totally drove us crazy.

Oh.

- Hmm. - Uh...

Look, Amaar, uh...

This whole thing with J.J...

I just want you to know that, uh...

What?

Uh...

Rayyan, you can tell me. We're friends.

Exactly. And that is not gonna change.

Easy for you to say now.

Pretty soon, you're gonna have a mortgage, husband, kids.

Oh, yeah, right. Plus, I've got my eye on that retirement home in Florida.

- Seriously? - No.

Not seriously. Amaar,

slow down. I'm just taking this thing with J.J. one day at a time.

That's it.

Thanks.

I appreciate that.

Okay. So, you're staying at our place tonight

or can I safely walk around without my hijab on?

I'm staying here. I think I can sleep fine tonight.

Okay. I'll talk to you later.

Okay.

I think I found the combi...

...Nation.

Sorry.

- I know. I know. - I couldn't believe it.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Baber.

Rayyan, J.J., you look well.

So do you.

Are you out without a chaperone? Hmm?

Quick coffee and we're off.

- Assalam alaikum, Baber. - Walaikum assalam.

Three coffees, please.

I see you found someone else.

You three look very nice together.

Uh, Yasir, Baber was our last chaperone.

Oh...

- Should I... - It's all right.

I'm glad things turned out this way.

I am in a place where it is not good for me to chaperone right now.

I'm keeping my options open.

Hey, you want to come with us?

I don't want to feel like a fourth wheel.

It's all right. I'm not jealous.

- All right, I'll come. - But I'm chaperone.

You're co-chaperone.

Okay.

So where are we going?

It's a matinee. It's something called Gabrielle's Heart.

You three have fun. Bye-bye.

Okay.

You seem happier tonight.

I guess you're relieved they caught those kids who broke in.

- I didn't hear about that. - Oh, yeah. Yesterday.

Found them with my collection plate.

Really? How much was in the plate?

Nothing. It's just a very nice plate.

I had a good chat with Rayyan, by the way. You know, about the whole J.J. thing.

Oh, yeah?

I think I was just a little panicky about losing my friend, you know?

But we're good.

We're always gonna be friends.

Friends. That's, uh... That's good.

Yeah, friends till the end.

Did you hear something?

- Want to sleep at my place? - Yes, please.

Checkmate!

Still got the touch.