Original subtitles

- Yasir... - Out of the question.

But you don't even know what it is yet.

It's a blanket rejection. I don't need to know.

- I need a ride to the airport. - The Mercy airport?

- Mercy doesn't have one. - Exactly.

You need a ride to the city where the airport is.

- That's a yes. - It's a two hour drive.

I have a business to run.

You need someone with nothing to do all day.

Good morning.

I'm just on my way to the park. Feed the birds.

Could you give me a lift? I need to pick up a friend from the airport.

Ooh. An adventure.

We're going to the airport and going in style.

Never driven in a convertible on a gravel road.

I told you we were going in style.

So tell me about this friend we're waiting for.

Ali? We went to law school together.

He's a bit shallow, self-centered.

Has a way of showing me up.

I meant, what does he look like?

Oh.

Typical Bay Street lawyer. Flashy suit. $50 haircut.

The point is, I've moved on. I've realized there's more to life.

Something spiritual. Something Ali will never understand.

Assalamu Alaikum, brother Amaar!

Wa Alaikum Assalam.

Ali?

I'm an imam now.

Funny.

When you described him, I thought, "Short guy."

Fatima was the name

of the prophet Muhammad's daughter, peace be upon him.

Fatima the Gracious.

Actually, Ali, Fatima means...

No, you're right. Carry on.

So, who wants lemon cake?

- I'm trying to cut back. - I'll take some.

In fact, bring three pieces.

Because when they see mine, they're gonna want some

and I'm not the kind of imam who shares.

All right. Three slices, coming up.

- He has money, right? - Yeah.

So, what made you give up law and become an imam?

- Actually, I was going... - Ali.

I was talking to Ali.

Well, I just won a landmark class action asbestos case

against a major corporation

on behalf of literally hundreds of severely wronged families

and I thought, "There has to be something more."

There was only one slice, so I had to cut it into three.

You sure my piece didn't just fall off of his?

So, how long you staying in town?

Just for the day. Heading to the coast.

Gonna do some work with Homes for Humanity.

Oh.

Where a team of people builds a house.

I guess you could do it in teams.

Well, I hope you enjoy our little town.

Friends, my belief is that people are the same wherever you go,

with the same aspirations and yearnings

and failings.

Except here, I got a white cab driver.

Your coffee is on the house.

Mercy. Day 22 of the worst drought the prairies have seen since...

Well, last summer.

And while the good citizens of Mercy

are bathing in teacups and letting their lawns die,

there are those amongst us, certain scofflaws,

who are going through water like it was...water. Hmm.

Now, I have here a list of the town's biggest water wasters

and the only non-laundromat on the list is,

hold on to your turbans,

Mercy Mosque.

Just what are they doing with all of that water?

Building a hydrogen bomb? Or is it something sinister?

- Is the mosque building a hydrogen bomb? - No, of course not.

I don't understand. What other bomb uses that much water?

They're not building a bomb.

It's probably the Wudu.

Oh. Where you sacrifice a chicken and everybody dances?

No, that's Voodoo.

This is Wudu. It's a washing ritual.

Before we pray, Muslims have to wash each body part three times.

It's like your entire religion is based on obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Well, Christians have holy water.

Yeah, we don't go spraying it around all over the place.

Unless there's a vampire's coming.

I'm sure the Muslims of Mercy are very careful

about how much water they use.

Well, all it takes is one bad apple.

And this is the prayer hall.

See now, this is nice. This is all you need.

Oh. I'm sure your mosque in Toronto is nice.

Yeah, but you lost the intimacy in a space that big.

Plus, old cathedrals don't face Mecca.

- So you have to pray in a corner? - Well, we did,

but we're having the whole building turned.

- Turned? - Jack it up, turn it 45 degrees.

It's a nightmare.

- Got to use donations for something. - Yeah.

We just got a new shoe cubby.

- To replace the old one. - No, that is the new one.

Oh.

Yasir!

Come meet my friend, Imam Ali.

He's visiting us from Toronto.

Assalamu Alaikum, brother Yasir!

Wa Alaikum Assalam.

- So you have your own mosque? - They're having it turned.

Just 45 degrees.

Beware big city contractors. They overpromise and underdeliver.

Contractors are busy because their talents are rare.

In a world where so many tear down, they build up.

Yes.

Excuse me. I must meet with a client.

You're laying it on a bit thick because he's a contractor.

Oh. He's a contractor.

Finally, a real imam with a beard.

Everybody reads from the same Quran.

Yes, but his is not the pocket book edition.

Okay, everyone, take a seat.

Okay.

I guess you're wondering why I asked you here.

Actually, you didn't ask us here today.

- We were here and you just walked in. - You didn't even knock.

Well, I was gonna ask you here tomorrow today,

but you're here today, so I'm just asking you today-today.

Okay. As you know, there's a drought and I have two words for you.

Are they, "Knock, knock?"

No. "Green mosque."

- I'm not painting the mosque green. - No, environmental.

Low-flow sinks, low-flow toilets, and light timers that go out at night.

I like it. We're under fire for using too much water.

- So, let's fight fire with less water. - No.

Baber, you're just against it because I'm for it.

That's one reason

- and it is a good reason. - Doesn't matter.

I'm not putting my entire business on hold to retrofit this mosque.

No. It's government-funded. You'll be paid in full.

Who will save the planet, if not us?

You coming? I don't wanna miss dinner.

Your farewell dinner.

I've been looking forward to it.

Going already.

And my Fatima's card is just six stamps shy of a free samosa.

- There's a Fatima's card? - Yeah. You didn't...

Never mind.

Sad to see you go, buddy.

- Maybe I should stay another day. - No, you gotta keep heading west,

- see the Rockies. - The Rockies aren't going anywhere.

Roll the dice, if you want to.

Ah! The important thing is, tonight we dine.

Yes, but I wouldn't get my hopes up.

It's just Fatima's.

Surprise!

- Assalamu Alaikum, sister Fatima. - Wa Alaikum Assalam.

Here's a free samosa for your trip tomorrow.

I guess I won't be needing this anymore.

- I'll take it. - They are not transferrable.

Brother Amaar, sorry to interrupt. I need spiritual guidance.

- Of course, brother Baber. - Thank you.

Brother Ali, I need your help.

They're turning our mosque green!

Lime green or forest green?

- Hey. Everything okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.

Did you know they have a Fatima's card?

Yeah, everybody knows that.

So, everything's all right?

I've had better days.

You know who you should talk to? Ali. He's good.

Enough of Ali.

I'm sick of this Ali Mania!

I wondered what his last name was.

He's not who you think he is.

I know this guy. He's an egomaniac, doesn't care about anyone but himself.

Sadly, brother Amaar is correct.

- Hey, Ali. - I was. Everything he said, I was.

But I changed.

And I wrote about the experience in my book, Rainbow of Change.

You wrote Rainbow of Change?

I love that book.

An imam and an author.

He should talk at Friday prayers this week.

I can't impose further on Amaar's hospitality.

If we don't have a bearded imam

expound upon a topical issue with Koranic citations,

it will disappoint the children.

Hey, I'm no grinch.

The bearded imam is staying!

Yay.

- Baber. - Hmm?

You make a wrong turn or are you ready to convert?

No, I need your bathroom.

Yes. Well, as the good Lord once said to...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you very much. Bye-bye.

...said to the Hittites...

- Assalamu Alaikum. - Wa Alaikum Assalam.

Hope you don't mind. I'm getting some work done.

Bill Clinton will not stop emailing me.

Of course not.

No, no. Feel free to use it anytime.

Okay. The retrofits are almost finished.

Our mosque is nearly green.

Hey, I have a great idea.

Why don't we invite the media to come see it?

Yeah, that's the whole point, actually.

A reporter is coming tomorrow.

- Oh. - You've been scooped.

- The Queen of Green is getting it done. - "The Queen of Green"? I like that.

Sister Rayyan,

will I have to read about these renovations?

No, let's go. Are you coming?

No, no, I'm waiting on my emails coming in from Pope Pius II and Lou Reed.

- And these are the compact fluorescents. - You've thought of everything.

I wanted to get those motion-activated towel dispensers,

- but we couldn't afford them. - I'm sure there's a prayer for those.

Hi.

- Does Amaar seem kind of down to you? - Isn't he always?

No. Since we've known him, he's been quite chipper.

Huh! When I'm with him, he always seems unhappy.

Okay, this is my favorite.

We've got the whole system on a timer so we're not wasting power at night.

What powers the timer?

Save your questions until the end of the tour.

The whole town's hooked on Ali and it's gonna end badly.

- He seems nice enough. - He's an egomaniac.

- Plus, he's flighty. He ditched law. - You did.

- But he was good. - You were, too.

- Who's side are you on? - Sorry.

The point is, he's starting to make the moves on my congregation.

- He does have moves. - Acting interested. It's not right.

- It's not. - This is my turf.

- Your turf. - He's got a mosque at home.

He probably has a mosque in every town.

- I've got to win my congregation back. - Fight for them.

- I'll write a great sermon! - You can do it.

- You're Amaar Rashid. - Two exciting words in Islam.

Give them whatever the Muslim version of hell is.

Not one bird in this neighborhood?

No.

Ali's going down.

"Why our ongoing drought is a spiritual oasis."

Yes!

Yes!

But the world is 80% water!

Why? Why?

"In conclusion, it is only through our adversity, we can find..."

No!

That's a nice beard you're working on there.

Thanks. Is this reporter going to be taking pictures?

You'd think. Low-flow water's a hot visual.

Rayyan Hamoudi? Andrea Brennan from the Chronicle.

Hi.

So nice of you to come. Thank you.

- This is Amaar. He's our imam. - I run the mosque.

And this is Ali. He's an imam, as well.

- It's not his mosque. It's my mosque. - Mine's in Toronto.

The one they're turning 90 degrees.

- That is so cool. - It's only 45.

Okay, are you ready to see the first green mosque in the country?

Ready. Where's your ramp?

- Wheelchair ramp? - No, stunt ramp.

I was gonna light garbage cans on fire and jump them.

You do have a wheelchair ramp?

It's his mosque.

I, uh...

- We'll get you in there. - No need.

I've already got my story.

Seems we're not up to code. It's an embarrassment.

- At least she didn't look in the basement. - Why?

- Nothing. - Can't you just build us a ramp?

If I build you a ramp, every mosque in town will want one.

Brother Yasir, we're not asking you to build the ramp,

just provide materials and labor.

- Ali... - Others tear down.

You build up.

I'm gonna do it.

Wow, you're good.

"This drought is one of the ways that Allah tests us as a community.

"There are many kinds of droughts. The drought of compassion.

"The drought of ideas. The drought of faith."

Yes.

You are so in the zone right now.

- Save me a spot at the service. - You know it.

Holy cow! I made it!

This is an outrage. What is the mosque doing about this ramp?

Building a ramp.

Seems reasonable.

- What should I wear to the ribbon cutting? - They're not having one.

No ribbon cutting? This is an outrage.

Fine, I'll organize one.

Nothing on Thursday. I'm opening a laundromat.

"This drought is a spiritual oasis."

I'll warm them up for you.

Take your best shot. I'm ready.

Seriously, just let it fly up there.

- It's not a competition. - It certainly isn't.

Now, bring it.

And with that, time for solemnity.

Little mosque with the big heart,

I will not take too much time as this minbar belongs

to this mosque's true spiritual leader, Imam Amaar.

I only want to say one thing.

Allah challenges us to inspire

the kind of brotherhood and sisterhood

that I have witnessed this week.

So, rather than dwell on the drought, let us look beyond it...

And never mention it again!

- Takbir! - Allahu Akbar!

- Takbir! - Allahu Akbar!

- Takbir! - Allahu Akbar!

The spirit of Imam Ali's message is inspiring,

but the drought we face is a reality.

We're in the middle of it. Right now!

Some say, "Why build a ramp

"when the town has no Muslims in wheelchairs?"

Well, maybe the town has no Muslims in wheelchairs

because there was no ramp.

- What's going on? - They're opening the ramp.

- Today? - You said it would be ready.

Rain and fresh concrete. Should be fine.

And now, your imam, Amaar Rashid.

Keep it quick, sweetie. Scissors are heavy.

Oh.

Actually, I'd like to say a few words first.

What are you doing?

I just think it's important that someone say something,

and judging from your performance yesterday, you're not up to it.

- This isn't a good time. - It's the perfect time.

I dominated you in law

and now I'm dominating you in Islam.

I'm the Islaminator.

And you may have these hicks fooled,

but I know the truth.

I think they can hear you.

To heck with this!

I spent too much time here anyway.

You're a rinky-dink town

with a rinky-dink mosque and a rinky-dink imam.

Ah!

Uh. We got big scissors!

What an ahmaq he turned out to be.

How could such cruel words come out of such a beautiful beard?

People, please.

Let's not let that bit of ugliness ruin our day.

The important thing is,

today we become a mosque for all people.

- Yes. - Yes.

Please.

Well, it looks like Amaar's got his groove back.

Yeah, I have to go.

After you.

Oh-oh.

Uh...

- Let me help you out of this. - I've already got my story.

Here, you deserve this more than Ali.

Wow. Ali's Fatima card.

No, it is a new one.

They are non-transferable.

Hey, Amaar.

You were right about Ali. He was a total jerk.

Now remember, in Islam, the good deeds outweigh the bad.

Hmm. Come on. He fell apart like a wet wheelchair ramp.

I've been holding a grudge against this guy for too long.

God has no mercy on those who have no mercy on others.

That's the lesson I learned.

I'd have thought you'd learn about testing a wheelchair ramp

before letting a disabled person climb it.

Good point.

Thanks for the ride.

Well, there's a pigeon shortage in town, so I have lots of free time.

Listen, that was very generous making everybody think you're a jerk.

Calling them "hicks." What a performance.

Hey, it was all your idea, the right idea.

They have to believe he's the best imam.

Still, it's no fun playing the bad guy.

I also get to play the good guy.

I, um, left the mosque a little anonymous gift.

Allah, have mercy on me!

There is only one true God.