Original subtitles

- KID 1: Knock it off! Take that... - KID 2: Hey! Get it off!

Is that my group or yours?

Maybe it's a crusade.

- Knock it off. - You knock it off.

- Oh! Hey, hey. Break it up! - Come on!

- Hey, hey! - Abid, you know better than this.

Yes, Abid, I'm disappointed in you.

What is going on here?

We're getting ready for Halaka class

and he tried to kick us out. It's our turn here.

It's our turn to put up decorations.

Who cares about your stupid decorations?

- They're not stupid! - That was uncalled for.

See, stupid!

Hey, Thomas. Unnecessary!

Well, he makes a good point.

Guys, is it worth fighting over a few decorations?

Well, to be fair, this one is rather stupid.

Actually, this reminds me of a fight that Reverend Magee and I had back in the day.

What? You and Reverend Pushover? I thought you never fought.

- Just this once, but it was a doozy. - THORNE: Oh.

How bad could it be?

I'm not proud of it.

But that was the year that Christmas almost didn't come to Mercy.

- Well, well, well! I knew it. - Knew what?

That underneath all that love and understanding,

you secretly hated us Christians and our Christian ways.

That's not true, everyone.

Right. So there's a perfectly reasonable explanation

for why you declared a jihad on Christmas.

It's not like that. Guys, sit down. I'll explain.

As much as I love the stories

about the desecration of our holiest day, I think we'll pass. Come on, kids.

- I'd like to hear it. - Me, too.

Fine. Yes, let's take a walk down hideous memory lane.

Well, guys, it was the first year I was here,

and the first year the mosque was in the church

and there were still growing pains.

Ah! Yes, you see, kids,

the Christians resented having to share their space

with heathens and their strange, primitive customs.

I wouldn't put it that way.

Ah! It was the Muslims who were up in arms,

about having to have their mosque in a den of peace loving infidels.

Excuse me.

Well, are you going to tell the story or not?

It was just a simple misunderstanding.

Oh. Who started it?

Who do you think?

BABER: I am sick of these Christians!

AMAAR: Anything specific this time?

BABER: Yes, I saw one of them.

He was crossing himself in the hallway of our mosque.

Don't you mean their church?

That's another thing.

We have to get along if we wanna make it work.

They are so intolerant.

Why can't they realize that Islam is the one true faith

and that they are just simply misguided fools?

Perhaps because they are so intolerant?

Exactly. And now that it's Christmas, it's their chance to get even Christianer.

I don't think that's possible.

FAISAL: I'm so sick of these Christians.

AMAAR: Oh, Not you too, Faisal!

Yes, me too, too.

You just have to get used to it.

I hate getting used to things.

Yes, this is a church.

But through those doors is our mosque.

And as your new imam, I promise you, nothing,

nothing can take that away from us.

...comfort and joy Comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy!

You were saying?

What do you think you're doing in our mosque?

Baber, I will handle this!

What were you doing in there?

Well, if you have to ask, I guess we weren't doing it very well.

Yeah, a little choir practice.

Don't you usually practice your choir somewhere else,

like, I don't know, your church?

We would, but our theater group's there rehearsing our Christmas pageant.

Just wait till they're done?

Oh! They need as much rehearsal as they can get.

Our manger is a mess. We only have two wise men.

And Billy Durkins is totally overthinking his character.

I mean, how difficult can it be to play a donkey?

That is no reason that we should have to put up with your religious yowling.

"Yowling!" Those are Christmas carols.

They are annoying! And catchy. I cannot get them out of my head.

Tidings of comfort and...

- Well, I never... - Oh, yes, you did. In our mosque.

In our church.

Guys, please settle down.

Settle down? You settle up. You're supposed to be our imam.

- I am your imam. - Then start acting like it!

Amaar, we didn't mean to give offense.

I know you didn't.

Our annual Christmas bash is around the corner.

It's a big thing, and...

We just thought if we didn't interrupt your prayers, you wouldn't mind.

- Oh, we mind. - We mind big time.

All right, I'm sorry.

Don't apologize to them.

They're our guests, and they should act like it.

Actually, we are your tenants and it is our space.

Amaar is right. Won't happen again.

Thank you.

- Have a good day. - Thank you.

- RAYYAN: Amaar! Assalamu alaikum! - Walaikum assalam, Rayyan.

Nice to see you here.

Yeah, you getting used to this prairie winter?

Oh, I don't think I'll ever get used to it, But it is beautiful.

Mmm-hmm.

Sort of like walking in a winter wonderland.

Ah, you heard.

That you kicked the Anglicans out of the mosque? Maybe.

I wouldn't say kicked out.

- Well, I'm impressed. - You are?

Yeah. It's nice to know that our new imam will stand up for his congregation.

Well, what can I say? When I see something that's important for the mosque...

- I put my foot down. - Hmm.

And how's that going for you?

Great.

I wonder if Baber's seen this.

BABER: Astaghfirullah!

I would say yes.

What are you Christians...

Reverend Magee.

- Hello, Amaar. Merry Christmas! - Hello.

Oh, you don't celebrate Christmas.

No, we're fine with Christmas.

We're just a little less fine with the holly outside our prayer hall.

You don't like holly? Who doesn't like holly?

It's Christian poison ivy.

- Oh! - Actually, it's a pagan symbol.

Come to think of it, why do we put it up?

Well, it's not just the holly.

Oh, it's the lights? They shouldn't blink like that.

I think I can fix it if I take this light out.

Oh, perhaps it's another one.

It's not the lights. It's that they're in our hallway.

On the door to our mosque.

We just thought as long as we stayed out of your prayer hall.

But... perhaps we went too far.

- I think so. - We'll de-holiday your hallway.

Thank you.

Oh, and to make it up to you,

we'd like to invite all of you to our big holiday bash.

What! Why? They hate Christmas.

For once. She's right.

But we would hate to be excluded more.

Reluctantly, we accept.

- No, we'd love to come. - Thank you.

Wonderful! You can eat your weight in shortbread.

It will be in the community room this Friday night.

Wow! Those lights are annoying.

Maybe I'll just unplug those.

Thanks for inviting me to dinner, Sarah.

- Could sure use a home cooked meal. - Aw...

Well, you earned it after today.

- You should've seen him. - She's exaggerating.

No, I'm not. You were like Saladin at the Battle of Hattin.

I wouldn't say Saladin!

All right. Well, Saladin, like...

What did you do?

He asked the Anglicans to take the decorations out of our mosque.

Amaar, that's terrible!

- Isn't that horrible, Yasir? - It is the horriblest, darling.

Now, just out of curiosity, what are we talking about?

Amaar made the Anglicans take down their decorations.

Amaar! I'm shocked and appalled.

Christmas is the time of giving. Christmas is time of understanding.

- Here you go, my darling. - Yasir, thank you!

- My favorite little Christmas elf. - Muah! Aw!

I... thought you hated Christmas.

She must never know. Our marriage can't take it.

Besides, what's one plant a year to keep her in check, hmm?

- What are these? - I decided to send out cards this year.

- It's festive. - It's expensive.

I love your misplaced nostalgia, darling,

but I don't know if it's appropriate... Islamically.

It's okay. Sarah can encourage people to celebrate their beliefs

while not compromising her own.

- Yeah, Dad! - I can't wait

until people get the cards and send some to me.

You see? She sends one out.

She only gets one back.

Uh, why not keep the ones that you bought? Think of the postage.

Don't look at me. We didn't do that at my house.

Well, when I was little, we used to string the cards we received

and decorate the house. Made the place so homey.

What a strange little ritual.

Strange but fun.

What'd I do with my stamps?

I took them to office to mail some invoices.

Oh, would you mind mailing my cards too?

Not at all. I'll be invoicing a lot of the same people.

They're gonna be receiving two surprises this Christmas...

- What? - Nothing. Let's eat!

- Unbelievable! - I know, right?

The butter and sugar just melt in your mouth.

I don't get it! Christians get a trip to the moon on gossamer wings,

Muslims get a little salt and pepper on the fruit side of the end of Ramadan.

- Where'd you get these? - Magee, left it.

He wants to make peace.

Oh, remind me to have a fight with him.

- Did you find any mail for me out there? - No, why?

Because no one's responding to Sarah's Christmas cards.

- Shouldn't those go to the house? - I hope not. How would I get my money?

People put money in Christmas cards now?

Yeah, they do when they find an invoice in with the card.

- Excuse me. - Yeah. I was about to mail the cards,

I had a brilliant idea.

Put my invoices in with the cards.

Two birds, one stamp.

I don't think that was a good idea.

I think it's a good idea, so it's a tie.

Actually, I think it's a very good idea. Tie breaker!

Plus the fact that... Sort of already sent them.

Right.

Amaar, I need to talk to you.

Hi, Reverend. Thanks for the cookies.

No problem. Now, listen, here's the thing.

I'm sorry things got tense earlier.

I'm new here, and I have to show the community that can do what's right.

I totally understand.

- Now... - So, let's just put this all behind us.

The pipes in the community room burst!

Infidels have taken over our prayer hall!

Did you just call us infidels?

I could call you something much, much worse.

My God!

How could they do this?

- Duncan? - He had no choice.

This is a church after all.

Amaar, they moved all the stuff here before I even knew.

This is totally unacceptable.

It's slightly unacceptable.

Yasir, it's Friday. Our holy day.

It's their big holiday.

- It's bad. - I know.

Especially after what happened last week. But, there's simply no place else

to have the party in town.

That is not our problem. Tell them, Amaar.

Tell them! Don't be a softie!

- Baber, that's enough. - Thank you, Rayyan.

He's gonna tell them to leave. Right, Amaar?

- Great. - Amaar, I'm in a bind here.

I thought maybe you'd be a little more tolerant than... you know.

- He means Baber and Faisal. - I know that.

Look, if your flock were a little more sensitive...

Now we're insensitive, are we? What a jerk!

There's no call for that.

Look, Amaar, this is our biggest event of the year!

This room was the biggest thing that happened to our mosque.

- What are you saying? - I'm saying you have to leave.

Fine!

Then there'll be no Christmas party in Mercy this year.

All right, so you were telling us how you canceled Christmas.

It was a Christmas party, and, yes, I guess I did.

You're a monster.

Yes. Yes, he is.

- Reverend? - THORNE: Oh!

Go on and finish your predictable story with its inevitable sappy ending.

- If you don't want to hear it... - No, don't stop now.

The ending's the best part. I'll be quiet, I promise.

Okay. Well, when I walked into Fatima's Cafe a couple of days later...

AMAAR: Ooh!

Ladies!

Amaar, Rayyan, I'd wish you a Merry Christmas,

but I know how much you hate our Lord.

Oh, no...

It's worse than I thought.

Oh, I'm sure it'll blow over.

Never gonna happen.

If this were an election,

you'd be the candidate who got caught hiring his nephew.

Or the one in the clown suit,

or the one who likes to dress as his mother.

Not gonna blow over, is what I'm saying.

I get it.

People love that party. I love that party.

In fact, why am I talking to you? You canceled our party.

Surely there's somewhere else to have it.

Oh, yes, of course. Yes!

It'll be easy to find a room for 100 the week before Christmas,

with two hours' notice.

No, is what I'm saying.

We get it.

- At least you did the right thing. - Did I?

Absolutely. If anything, you went a little too easy on them.

Huh. I'm beginning to realize that if you agree with me, I have a problem.

Excuse me.

- Reverend! - Hi, Amaar.

Oh. You're mad at me.

I'm not mad at you.

- You're not looking me in the eye? - That's because I'm mad at you!

Don't worry about us.

I managed to book a space for the party in Odena.

That's great.

In the basement of the Legion Hall.

Once they move out the empties.

All's well that ends.

Don't you mean, "all's well that ends well"?

Oh, this isn't ending well.

And you mailed all the cards?

What? Yeah, every single one, turtle dove. Why?

Why did I only get two back from the Jenkins' and Thomases?

Maybe they pay their bills on time.

What? Nothing.

The only mail is Hamoudi Construction clients paying bills. Ugh!

Well, there are two types of people.

The jolly ones and the conscientious ones.

That doesn't make any sense.

What does make sense in this topsy turvy world we live in?

That's rhetorical, right? I got to meet Ann.

Hi, Amaar. Bye, Amaar. I'll see you later, Yasir.

Good bye, darling. Good bye! Good bye!

I need your help.

I came here for your help.

You're worried about the Christmas cards, too?

- What? No. - Well, I don't understand.

Why hasn't anyone written back?

Maybe because you annoyed everyone by mailing invoices along with the cards?

Who's to say what the reason is?

The point is, she's starting to get suspicious... of me.

- As well she should. - Whose side are you on?

- Sarah's. - Me, too. That's why I need a plan.

Tell her the truth.

Okay. I think you're getting confused by the word plan.

By plan, I mean, scheme.

A grand gesture to make up for the terrible wrong that I've done.

That doesn't even... Wait, does that actually work?

Are you kidding? There's nothing that beats a grand gesture

when it comes to making up for your mistakes.

But what if you technically haven't made a mistake,

but people are mad at you anyway?

Well, I suppose it will work there, too. It's a very effective tool.

Reverend, a little something for your party.

A gesture from the Muslims to the Anglicans.

Oh, well, that's thoughtful, isn't it Mrs. Wispinski?

What is he doing here?

Are we not allowed to practice our faith in our church?

Now, now, Mrs. Wispinski, Amaar has brought gifts for the Anglicans.

Try one. They're delicious Pakistani treats.

Oh, Pakistan. The tasty nation.

Mmm-hmm.

The green ones, halwa.

MRS. WISPINSKI: Mmm-hmm.

That's pink chum chum.

I think not. This one looks normal.

- That's a good choice. That's barfi. - Barfy?

- No, it's pronounced "ber-fi." - Oh.

I was right the first time.

Sorry, Amaar. I think it's gonna take some time.

- Would you like one? - I would not.

I'll let my mother know.

Look, I don't think they're going to let it go.

I mean, this is getting a little out of hand.

What if... Whoa!

You went from no Christmas cards to all of these?

Yeah. It's a surprise for Sarah.

Remember she did this when she was little?

Yeah, that's very thoughtful. I'm sure she'll love it.

Oh.

Pierre Elliott Trudeau?

Why is a dead prime minister sending Sarah Christmas cards?

- I don't know. Maybe it's from his estate. - Yasir...

Wow! Where did all these cards come from?

Yeah, isn't it funny, darling?

The post office was holding them because there are so many of them.

- That's wonderful! - Yeah.

Oh, did we get the one with the dancing polar bears

from the Wilkinsons? That one always makes me laugh.

- No, I haven't seen that. - Maybe you didn't look hard.

No need to read 'em. People cared enough to send them.

- That should be enough. - No.

I need to know who responded, so I can pare down next year's list.

David Duchovny?

Wow! The letters to his fan club really paid off.

Pelé? It's funny how his handwriting looks just like yours.

Maybe he's left handed, too.

He could be left handed.

- Maybe you tell her what you've done. - I'm almost home free.

- Really? It's gonna be fine. No... - It's not...

- Look who it is. - Freddy!

Well, well! If it isn't Grinchy Claus.

I'm sorry. I don't know who that is.

Duh! The creature that's half Grinch, half Santa Claus. Read a book.

- Sounds horrible. - Put an invoice in my Christmas card.

People like you have made Xmas commercial.

Excuse me. I've got to spend an outrageous amount of money on gifts.

That's why I will never trust Canada Post. Merry Christmas, darling. Merry Christmas!

- Assalamu alaikum. - Walaikum assalam.

Wow! The snow is really coming down out there.

I'll say. They closed the road to Odena.

What is gonna happen to Reverend Magee's party?

I heard they canceled it.

A true Islamic victory.

What is wrong with you?

Never need that hurtsome bad weather.

No. Why are you turning a crushing disappointment

for our friends and neighbors into a victory for Islam?

That is not what faith is about.

But it is to me. I'm a simple man.

We've gotta do something to make it up to them.

You're right. How did it get to this?

Make it up to them? But they were the ones that were wrong.

I will never make it up to them.

It's okay, sweetheart. There'll be a party next year.

Okay? I'm a sucker for a teddy bear.

Thank you all for coming so quickly.

Why did you dragged us out here in the middle of a snowstorm?

Want to rub our noses in the fact that you canceled Christmas?

Not quite.

ALL: Merry Christmas!

Oh! Oh!

Come in. Come in.

Amaar!

This is wonderful.

- You like it? - Like it?

I love it!

Are you sure?

Look, if no one made compromises, there'd be no mosque in the church.

Besides the Muslims throwing the Anglicans a Christmas party in the mosque

in their church makes sense in a funny way.

It does, doesn't it?

- Uh, I got you a little something. - Aw! You didn't have to get me a gift.

I love it.

YASIR: I wonder if I could have your attention, please?

Just for a second.

I would like to apologize for putting my invoices

in with my delightful wife's Christmas cards. That was very bad of me.

And as a gesture of goodwill on behalf of everyone at Hamoudi Contracting,

I would like to offer a ten% discount to anyone that was offended.

Bravo!

MAN: Christmas spirit!

Thank you, sweetheart.

I know what a sacrifice it must be to offer a discount.

That was a limited time offer limited to the end of this party.

Ooh, look, here's Fred.

Yasir. Sarah, here you are. Merry Christmas.

Thanks, Fred, but I don't actually celebrate Christmas.

- Oh! Sorry. Well... - No, I'll keep it.

Hmm. Merry Christmas!

Deck the halls With boughs of holly

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

ALL: 'Tis the season to be jolly

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Don we now our gay apparel

Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la

Troll the ancient Yule-tide carol

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Merry Christmas!

So this is the ornament you gave Magee?

The very same.

Maybe decorating a tree isn't so bad.

That's right, Abid. So, why don't we help them?

- KID 1: All right. Help me... - KID 2: Okay. I'll...

I think you should take this.

No. I want you to have it.

No. I want you to have it and put it on our tree.

All right. Deal.

Here. Uh, open it.

Wow! This is a surprise.

Well, the world is full of surprises.

All righty.

- Hey, nice sweater. - Yeah, very nice.

Although, I think it may be a little too big.

Yes, but not for me. Thank you.

Wait a second. I thought that was for me.

No, no, no. It's for me.

Someone left outside my office today and well...

You can never be too careful with the strange packages in a mosque.

- You know what I'm saying? Thanks. - Right.

Oh, and, um, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.