Original subtitles

Okay, that's fine.

Bring on the next one.

All right.

Thanks. That'll be all.

No, it doesn't grab me. The same old routine.

Yeah, but hang on, Mark. Maybe that will get better. That's all old stuff. I want

something really unique.

Well, isn't that unique?

Okay, check out the rest without it. I have to go get a drink.

Okay.

Want something to drink? No, thank you, sir.

How long have you worked here?

Just a week.

And how old are you?

26 years old.

I saw you with the cook just now.

Oh, well, the cook was... Are you his bird?

No, I'm not, sir. You haven't got many hang-ups, have you? I don't know. Maybe

I don't.

Well, you're much too pretty a girl to be washing pots.

Did you ever think about maybe working in the theater?

Me? Work in the theater? You're kidding me. What would I have to do? Nothing.

Just a baby. That's all.

Okay, break it up. That's enough. No more auditions.

Hey, what's up now, boss? I think I've just had a brainstorm.

Is that your brainstorm?

Well, you just wait.

Okay, miss, that'll be all. That's all for you two on the right.

All right, repeat your performance with the cook.

Here? I mean, right now?

Why not? Are you shy?

I'm not shy.

Okay, go ahead.

She's out of sight. How about that?

She's mind-blowing. Man, I tell you, she'll be a star.

Okay, Bob.

He's hired, too.

Show me how you come.

Rainerski. Ingrid Rainerski.

From now on, your name is Ingrid Rainer.

Sounds a lot better.

You're the boss, sir.

Here, Ingrid, try this on.

And please call me Mark, will you?

All right.

Listen, Jack, take my word for it. She's a hot property.

I'm telling you, it won't work. She's too classy.

She's not just cool. She's like ice.

No way she's going to excite the Johns.

Oh, I'm sorry. I really am.

Come with me. I'll take care of it.

Yeah, go ahead so I can talk it over with Peter.

Let's get down to the facts. How much is it going to cost me, huh?

I couldn't wait. Kiss me quick.

And Peter?

Who cares to hell with Peter?

I'm ready.

Come on.

Fuck me.

She might be a winner after all.

You're damn right. She'll be a star, an international star.

Oh, listen, Peter.

Don't you think Mark just tumbled for the girl?

Who's tumbled?

Well, Mark? Oh, stop being stupid.

This is business, not pleasure. I don't mix them.

All right. How about it? Are you backing me or not?

No.

No show.

Too expensive for me.

Hey, Tongue of Velvet.

What?

Let's name her Tongue of Velvet. Good idea?

Not bad at all. Okay. Are you in with me?

Yeah, count me in all the way.

Well, if you guys both think so.

Come on, Jack, it's only money.

Think of it as a tax write-off.

Yeah, only money. Well, okay, count me in.

That's settled, then. We'll draw up the contract.

Nobody's ever said there's a great girl.

Curtis, you know. You got that? Well, it's always been my

feeling that, you know, all the time, we do these things over and over again.

Did you hear it? She's maybe not going to show up. Oh, yeah. She thinks she's

such a big star. Yeah, big star, big star.

Where the hell is that stupid chick?

Damn it, we'll start without her.

Places, run through.

Listen, Bob, this is impossible.

We've got to think of some way to stop Ingrid's running around.

How about a governess?

Or a chaperone?

Dora. She used to work for Bill.

You know where she is?

When Bill went out of business, Dora went to work for some magazine, I think.

Well, try to find her.

Ingrid?

Here, meet Dora.

She's your new all-around helper.

Thanks, Mark.

She's really cute.

Now, I want you to keep tabs on her.

I think I'm going to like you.

Well, you managed to get the critics to a sex thief.

That doesn't happen often. Bravo.

Mark is a genius. Yeah, but having a premiere by invitation is expensive.

And is it worth it?

Well, I'm going to see Ingrid. Excuse me a second.

Okay.

Where's Ingrid?

I guess she's on her way.

That slut!

Over here.

But listen, Mark, I think you're being too hard on Ingrid. No, the stupid whore

can't do this to us. She's just uptight, Mark. It's a big thing for her.

The public comes first. Damn that cunt. Yeah.

Curtain's about to go up, Mark.

Oh, they're beautiful.

What's going on?

Love or squirrel?

Yeah. Go away.

Mark, I'm scared.

It's my very great pleasure to present the one you're all waiting to see

tonight. And here she is, Tongue of Velvet.

Hmm.

What a show.

You really did it, girl.

It's out of this world. That's right. It's way out of sight. Bravo, Ingrid.

And you know, Mark, it's the best thing you've ever done. Absolutely. You really

did a fine piece of work. The way the crowd applauded.

You've got a hit on your hands.

Yes, but it's all Ingrid, you know.

Come on. Let's drink a toast to Ingrid, huh? To Tongue of Velvet.

I've really had it. I'm worn out. I'll stay here with Dora. No, no. We've got

to celebrate our hit.

We'll all go out and live it up.

Say, that's a great idea.

Ingrid means it, Mark.

Some other night, okay?

The poor kid's bush. He'd better get some rest.

We'll miss you, Ingrid.

But you rest up now.

You've been working hard.

Coming, Mark?

Let's go.

Have you known Mark very long? Yeah, I've known him a couple of years now.

But why?

Oh, I don't know.

He's never tried to go to bed with me. All the other men want to.

Is he impotent?

Impotent? No. I lived with him a while back for some months. He's completely

normal. A bit perverse, but... Then why is he so remote with me?

Baby, you've got it bad.

Are you in love with him?

No, but I'm fascinated.

And me.

You're my friend. That's different.

Come on.

How about a big kiss to forget?

Hello?

Hey, man, it's a success, a real success.

Wow, what a hit.

Yes, and it's Jack who did the whole thing.

Hey, Peter, we'll take it home, okay? All right, take my car. I want to go for

a walk and get some air.

Great job, Mark.

We did. I'll see you later, Jack.

Let's go, Jack.

So long, Mark.

What a hit.

It'll cost you 50 francs, chum.

This act is a drag. I'm sick of going out there every night.

Oh, but you're a big star.

It's as if I was locked up in jail.

You're exaggerating.

No, I'm bored.

And besides, I want to have a new man, a stranger.

I need men.

The ones here in the theater don't give me a kick anymore.

Not even me?

Yes, but I mean guys.

It's your business. I know, Ingrid, but in two months, you've turned into a

celebrity, remember?

Huh? Dora.

I've got to go out right now.

A man's what I need. No, Ingrid, there's not enough time.

No, let me go out. But if Mark happens to ask... So what? I'm fed up with Mark.

Listen, Ingrid, let me take care of this. You stay here, and I promise that

at intermission I'll bring you a man.

Promise? Promise.

Blessings, everyone.

Ingrid, this is my friend Dennis. Hi there. His paper wants an article about

you, okay?

Mark, where does Ingrid come from?

I first ran across Ingrid, I mean to say Tongue of Velvet, in a hit stage show in

New York.

But... Is it your plan to have a career limited to eroticism, or do you have

other ambitions?

I think that Mark better give you my answer. I'm really too... Timid?

That's right.

I think it's certain.

that Miss Ingrid Rainer has every chance to be a star.

She's capable of playing any role, but I think she'll stick with eroticism. And

who says I want to? You write whatever you like. You will anyway.

I hate all you reporters.

You're a pain.

Hey, that's no way to... Oh, excuse me, Dennis. She's tired.

The box office receipts are still good, but we need something new. Why make ways

when the bread's coming in?

But we've got to exploit the impact.

Ingrid should go beyond the range of the ordinary sex theater.

I suppose you've got an idea.

I'm negotiating a contract with another theater. What's the point of another

theater?

Gentlemen, Tongue of Velvet will begin with Shakespeare.

What? Now listen, Mark, you flip your lid or what?

Listen, you have a smash hit. You're playing box office capacity every night.

Now you want to go into the classics. We better lock him up quick.

Oh, cool it, man. Calm down.

Listen, Jack, the game plan is my baby. And if you don't buy it, you're a fool.

I'm going crazy.

I hope you know what you're doing, Mark. Don't worry about me.

I never see you anymore.

I swear you've abandoned me.

Where were you?

Oh, with your husband. Business.

You know what I want?

Come make love to me.

You wouldn't mind being in her place, right? You bet I wouldn't. In fact,

that's a good idea.

In her place.

Noticing a young brunette woman with green eyes, average height, wearing a

green suede jacket and black skirt is requested to call 990-0080 immediately.

I repeat, 990-0080.

Damn. Damn!

Just my damn luck. Why does it happen to me?

Hello?

Yes?

Yes?

She's with you?

Be there in ten minutes.

Hold her there. There's a reward.

Hey, where are you going?

Relax, Ingrid.

Here. Thanks. This must be my lucky day.

So long.

Okay, Ingrid. Let's go.

We're taking you back.

And from now on, we'll furnish you men. You won't have to chase them.

You okay?

Yes. And you're going into a new kind of acting.

Shakespeare. What?

You mean act on stage? That's what I mean.

Hurry up, time for curtain call.

She's terrific.

She really amazed me.

She'll be glad to see you tonight.

She won a bet.

All those bows, let me relax.

Oh, Mark, were you out in the house? To the last minute. Bravo.

I owe it all to you.

Ingrid, I want to thank and congratulate you.

It's a pleasure to work with you. It's nice of you to say that, Sean.

Thank you.

How about a bite to eat?

No, she'll be too busy.

But... I'll be too busy.

All right.

Why are you so rough on him?

He's a nuisance, that's all he is.

And besides, Ingrid's already picked out a man. Yeah? Who's that?

You.

What? Don't mind her. She's joking.

Don't joke about things like that.

Alone at last.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I wanted to congratulate you, but it's obviously not the right time.

But Martha, why don't you join us?

I just might.

Okay.

Huh?

Ingrid Rainer's experience in the theater till now has been limited, in

parenthesis, to hardcore sex shows.

She plays the difficult part of Ophelia admirably, although she has neither the

voice nor the figure for it, but she has another quality, something called

talent, or even genius.

Well, that's incredible.

Another success.

Chalk up one more accomplishment for Mark.

Mark?

You mean you didn't know mark design directed as well as produce the play are

you putting me on?

Would I do that it was with your money

Sean could you get somebody

to fix my sink sure be glad to

Mark, I'm in love with Ingrid.

I'm in love and it's driving me crazy. I can't eat or sleep. I think about her

all day.

I hope you don't mean that, Sean.

Why do you say that? I know she's done porno, so why? Sean, you're going to be

a big star now.

All kinds of women will be throwing themselves at you.

No other woman's as pure and innocent as Ingrid.

But she doesn't seem to care for you, Sean.

I know that.

She won't even go out with me.

It's business, business. That's all.

But I know she loves me and I intend to talk to her about it

Anchor, come on.

All that free publicity, it's great.

That suicide's worth a million.

Oh, stop it. Don't be so cynical, Jack. I'm not a cynic. I'm a realist.

We'd be pretty stupid not to exploit the situation.

Boy, it means Tongue of Velvet's a real star if men kill themselves.

Excuse me. I want to talk privately with Mark.

Just a few minutes.

Is anything the matter? Just do what I said, Jack.

Oh, all right.

Okay, Mark, I know the whole story.

Martha's your mistress and she makes it with Ingrid.

You see, I know all about it. No, no, no, let me finish.

It's really simple.

I want a divorce.

Take Martha with you and leave my home now.

And find yourself another partner.

I can't be associated with a man that I can't trust.

Okay. I'm sorry you feel that way about it.

Come on, Martha.

Hey, where's Mark?

He's split, left with Martha.

We're divorcing.

And I'm pulling out of our partnership.

Well, thanks a big bunch.

You got domestic trouble, so I'm left without one of my partners.

You shouldn't complain.

It's a bargain for you.

I guess you're right, Emily.

With a guy as kinky as Mark, the more the merrier to calm him down.

Ingrid, we're having a visitor for you.

Thank you, Mark.

Just a second.

It's the man you're expecting, Mark.

Your name is John? That's right.

Okay, you know what the score is? Yeah, I've been told.

Ingrid?

Let me introduce John.

Hello. Hello.

You know tonight's your last performance.

But I've just signed you up for a film you start shooting in two weeks.

Mark, take me, please.

I've never asked anyone before, but I'm asking you.

I love you.

Don't be stupid.

You want me to get you a guy?

No, you're the one I want.

It's out of the question.

I'm your one and only backer now.

So I have a right to an explanation.

Where is Ingrid?

Okay, Ingrid's run off again.

Great. We've had to cancel the last performance for tonight.

And I'm up to here negotiating for the film.

We have a detective looking for her, but she's so well known it's ticklish.

I mean, if the press finds out about it.

Well, that's your worry. You find her or I'll take my money out.

I mean it.

So keep me posted.

Don't worry about it, Mark. You know she'll come home.

Ingrid, where have you been? You were worried. Shh, let's go to your room.

So you're coming back to us? Yes, I've come back, but I need money for them.

Well, I'll see what I've got.

There.

Okay?

Ingrid, I'm scared of them. Don't be silly. I told them to come and hop into

bed with you. No, Ingrid. No. Yes.

No. Yes.

No, I... No, Ingrid. Yes.

Please, I don't want to.

Are you crazy? Go on.

No.

Thank you.

I love you. How much I missed you.

I love you.

Mark! Martha! Look who's come back to us, Ingrid.

Ingrid, are you ready to shoot?

Yes, Master.

Hey, that's great.

Here she is, behaving like a grown-up person.

Ingrid Rainer has calmed down.

What's more, I like this movie you're making. She has a good part.

Classical, without violence, without eroticism.

A little sentimental.

Well, if you like it, I'm happy. Really.

And it'll be a success.

I hope so.

This is your last take. Well, I'm glad the shooting's almost over. Those actors

are such snobs and fags. Yeah, some of them are a real pain.

Now, let me make you up.

That's right. Hide all the wrinkles.

Yes, sure.

Mademoiselle Reiner.

Excuse me for disturbing you, but I am one of your most faithful admirers.

I would like to... Would you do me the honor of being my guest tonight?

Here is my card.

He's a pretty odd character.

He's not bad looking, is he?

Prince Heinz von Kripps.

A prince?

A real prince?

Yeah.

Oh, you both beautiful.

I've been out with Prince Heinz von Kripps. He proposed to me at dinner.

That's marvelous.

The trouble is, he wants me to get out of show business.

If that's what you want to do, it's no concern of mine. Oh, Mark.

Oh, you're being selfish. It's marvelous for her. Okay, get married.

Will you invite me to the wedding?

Well, sure.

Thanks.

Tongue of Velvet's founder, Prince Charming.

Just like in the storybooks.

The driver smashed his head on the windshield and his penis was jammed in

Ingrid's throat.

She choked to death on it.