Original subtitles

Oh, good Lord. I'll tell you what,

ladies and gentlemen, you're all in for a special

treat. This friend of mine, I've been trying to

get ahold of her for weeks. I call her up, I say,

hey, Katie, I need you. I need you to hit me a

hot girl. And here she is. Here I am. Oh, Miss

Katie. How are you, darling? I am good. I'm horny.

You're horny? See, this is how it is. You know,

all the girls, they all, Jonas calls them. Let's

go out, let's hang out. Let's go see if we can

find you a girl. I ain't even looking for a girl

for me. Girl for you get no calls back until

you're horny. Well, duh, duh. What do you want?

Yeah, wait till I'm wanting some. So I figure the

best place to go around this time of the year to

find girls is shopping. Yeah, everybody's

shopping. Everybody's shopping right now. That's

what I should be doing, but unfortunately I'm

horny. And you've got to deal with that fish.

Yeah, well, we're shopping. We're just shopping

for something there. Exactly. We're shopping for

the poor Tommy. All right, so a little window

shopping for me and Katie, and we'll see if we can

find something hot and spicy. This is like my

favorite little spot. Love this little spot.

No shit. Where else you gonna find a gear for

10.99? So I'm coming back.

There's a little something over in that store over

there. Yeah, what do you think? You want to go

over or do you want me to go over or do you want

to go over to get her? You want me to go first?

She's cute. Is she cute? She's got a nice ass.

I don't know. I don't get the hot girls anymore.

I've gotten old quick.

Excuse me. Can I talk to you? For sure.

What's the deal with the camera? This is my

friend Katie. Hello. Hi, Katie. And we are doing a

show called Katie and Friends. And today we lost

our friend. I did. I need a new friend. So we're

looking for a new friend. Yeah, here, Go ahead,

go over. Talk. Do you want to be my friend? Do you

want to be my friend? Exactly. So what was your

name now? Carrie. Hi, nice to meet you. Nice to

meet you. Okay. Yay. Yay. Look at her. She's,

like, so cute. Are you cold?

Let's go shopping inside.

Basically, what we do, Carrie, is me and Katie go

around normally with one of her girlfriends. But

her girlfriend flaked out on us tonight, so we

couldn't do the show that we wanted to do. And we

thought we were just gonna do it solo. But then we

saw you and said, hey, there's a room. We couldn't

possibly have a new friend. Maybe you're

interested. So basically, it's like the

misadventures of Miss Carrie. Miss Carrie and Miss

Katie tonight. Exact right. But you know,

this place is really dead. We should go find some

more with more. So something with a little more

pop to it. Yeah. You guys want to go? You guys

want to roll down the Sunset? Maybe? Would you

like to go shopping down at Sunset? I mean, it's

all on my dime anyway. That is the one bonus to

hanging out with Jonas. Yay to

I gotta tell you, I absolutely, absolutely love

this little place. What do you think? It's good.

I'm kinda shopping here more. We found ourselves a

new friend. We did. Welcome to the show, Carrie.

Hi. You're not scared or embarrassed or nervous

about being on tv, are you? Oh, it's a little

weird, but I'm all right. But you got good

company. We'll help you. We'll lead you through.

We seem like good people. Oh, yes. Well, Katie's a

seasoned pro. I'm basically amateur. But I'm

working on it. I'm working on my game. Okay, but

we got Right now I just thinking it's freaking

almost 6 o' clock at night and we're gonna head

down to Sunset. It's gonna take us a little while.

So I figured while we have this little bit of a

ride, let's get to know Carrie a little bit. What

you think? Yeah. Hi, Carrie.

So, Carrie. Yeah. You have.

Are you single? What you do? What do you. I'm not

single. You single? Just work. Really, you know,

got off work a couple of hours ago.

How the hell. I don't know. I don't always find

myself fascinated when beautiful women are single.

I don't know. How the hell do you think guys are

intimidated by you? Or. I don't know. I'm just not

looking for a boyfriend. All right. Yeah. Boys.

Kind of disappointing. A little bit. Yeah. I

understand. Not too much. She always tells me to

be so. I know. And I don't understand. Hater. I

try my best to be a good person. Yeah, but you're

still a boy. If I'm gonna take her down to Sunset

and you down to Sunset, I know her appetite. I'm

gonna need more money, so we gotta stop at the

house. Is that okay? Is that okay or

something? To the shop? It turns out it's true.

Would you mind getting a nip? You drink? Yeah, a

little bit. Maybe a glass of wine? A little bit,

yeah. It is cold out. So let's get home, get a

little money, get our nip on and nip dip.

So here's our spot. Cherry. This is

a horribly decorated place of mine.

Warm. It is definitely warm, that's for sure.

So am I getting everybody a drink or are y' all

just. Well, yeah. Cause we need to get a cleaner.

And since you can't wait for us to go shopping.

Good lord. What the fuck? Well, okay. Let's go

shopping. Wait, I don't have any money.

Shucks. No,

I had the money, I just had to stop here and grab

it. But I figured while we were here. Shit, no

reason to get back out in that fucking traffic.

How long were you out there shopping? A long time.

Or did we catch you kind of early? Karen? I was

out there for about an hour. Yeah, cool. It was

not that bad. Yeah, but you still didn't find

anything. I know, yeah, horrible.

That's why I was hoping you'd come in. Yeah,

you're sitting there. Yeah. Gonna pick me up off

the street, you know. Does that happen to you

every? No, but I was like, it could be good.

It could definitely be good. We'll definitely have

a good time later on tonight. We have a good time

right here actually. I'm sorry.

Oh, I swear I forgot. Nobody likes men here today.

We're anti boys today. God damn. I think we're

just gonna be gay. Oh wow.

Uh huh. I think I should just shut the fuck up.

Just give you my fucking wallet and go.

All of a sudden all my boyish charm that used to

work, it's gone. Damn.

I used to feel like a cool person. I'm sorry.

Seriously, me and you were fighting. You know

what, you best get your nails ready. They're

ready. Uh huh. Because it's home.

I don't understand what I did. I don't know what

to do. That's for sure.

Yeah, that's what it is. When you're younger and

cute, they like you. And when you're older and

have money, they like you. But if you're older,

not cute, and don't have money, forget it. Yeah,

then you're screwed. Yep. But see,

you know better. You know, I do have the money. I

know. You just didn't write. God damn it. I don't

know. I think actually, I think what I was really

trying to do was. I was just trying to get Carrie

back to the house. Yeah, well, it worked. You are

here. That, by the way, what if this was all just

a master plan to get you back here? Oh, don't,

don't. That's not good.

That would be downright awful. Yeah,

because you know, I would never.

I like creating smiles.

See, like that. That works. It works. See, Y' all

wanted to be pissed off at guys and look at you

now. Yeah, I don't know. I know I'm still on the

fence, you know, you. I used to consider you a

friend. It's just my too many issues with them,

you know? If I had unnecessary issues, then,

fuck, I'm done. So you're done with men?

So do you have any interest in women? You know,

I've thought of it before. I mean, nothing. I

mean, the opportunity has never really came up or

anything like that, but, you know, I'm proud of

it. That's good. That's good. I'm proud of it.

Yeah. Too scared. It's like, why it's so

different. It's so weird, you know? I don't know.

It was just that you sounded so anti, man. I was

like, you figured that was the next logical step.

Unless you just wanted to be alone the rest of

your life. I'll like him eventually. Oh, you're

gonna rebound again. This must be like a recent

wound. Yes. Ah. Fucker.

Rebound. It's all about the rebound.

Shit. We've been in here for a while. That's one

of those lights are hot as hell. You still got

goosebumps, though, baby. I know you'll be alone.

I know how to warm me up. So I'm

not. You're. You're. Oh, I mean.

Oh, you got to make nipples.

I know.

It was kind of revealing, though. I mean, it just

kind of popped out on its own.

Usually, Alvin, you are on camera, you know, I

don't know how many people you want seeing your

nipple. Oh, okay. I mean, I'll gladly watch.

So have you ever even kissed a girl before?

Yeah, once. Like a serious kiss

or like you just like. It's like, was the girl

that you kissed, was she a lesbian or was she just

a friend or what? I think you're the best, man.

Were you drunk? I was really drunk. Do you want me

to go get you some booze? I got

Jack Daniels.

What? Gonna kiss me? I can.

I think he should, but never mind. I think Katie

wants to kiss you. I just think.

Thank.

You. Her.

Thompson refuses to stay on Katie.

It's a Good thing we got you out of that little

Mexican restore those guys. Those solo boys would

have lost their mind.

That wasn't so awful, was it? Karen?

I think you kind of liked it. Look at her. She's a

little embarrassed. I think she liked it a lot.

I'm not supposed to like it. Nobody says what

you're supposed to. And not supposed to. No, no.

Sam.

Another background. Oh, yes, that.

Yes,

It's funny.

Oh, wow.

So dancer.

Oh, God.

Oh, I don't care about that.

Powder. Oh,

so weird.

Maybe you're right.

Gonna try.

Oh, God.

It'd be ashamed to let something that beautiful go

Here.

You haven't. You've done this before? Just a

couple times.

Oh, God.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

I don't know if this is right.

No. Nothing that feels that

good can be wrong.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

God. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

Oh, my God. That's so good.

Oh, my God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, my God.

I haven't had one of us in a while.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God. Oh, God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah. Oh.

Oh, daddy.

Oh, my God.

Oh. Oh, God. Oh, yeah.

Oh, God. That feels so good.

You're so bad.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Yeah.

Oh, my God.

I think you're crazy.

Are you crazy?

I'm not as crazy as you. You want to

find out? Oh, my God.

Oh, God.

It.

Tastes good.

Oh, my God. Isn't that beautiful?

Do it too. I don't know

if I could do it. You can do it. It's easy.

I'll try a little bit. Oh,

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, it's easy.

Okay.

Everything okay? You're doing great.

Just keep going.

Perfect.

Do you like that?

Yeah.

Three.

Take that.

Oh, God.

Sam.

Like that?

I got it really hard. How about.

That's a surprise. What? More.

Wow. Oh, my God.

Oh, God. I don't think I want any

of them.

Oh, my God. You're a big pee.

I feel like a man right now.

Almost as good as a man. But we have to crack

exactly what we're talking about.

Oh,

I know where I can put it.

I don't know.

Honeymoon.

Oh, my God.

A very puffy.

Oh, God. Oh, my God.

Really tight. Yes.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. God, that's just big.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Want the smaller one? I got a smaller one.

Yeah, that's nice.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Yeah. Oh, my God.

Oh, God. That feels so good.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah. Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Me. I'm you. Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's so bad.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Ow.

Oh. Ow.

Oh, my God.

It, like pushes it.

Oh God.

Oh my God. Oh, God. Oh. Do you

like it? Oh my gosh. Yes.

Oh.

Oh my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh my God. Oh, yeah.

Yes. Oh my God. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Oh, my God.

So that's why you keep going to the gym.

Sa.

Better.

Oh, wow. You can take it.

Yeah. Oh,

God.

Okay.

Sam.

Ah.

Oh my God.

Sa.

Oh,

Sa.

What? More of you. What?

You like a guy? Would you. Oh,

God.

You.

Wow. It's different. It is.

Yeah. I feel good. Really?

Want to try it? Well, I tried it. To provide

everything. There you have it. Oh, yeah. No. All

life's experience. So why not?

You got a nice ass.

No. You'll like it.

Oh my God.

Oh, yes. Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Hey, fellow.

Oh, yeah. Oh.

Oh yeah. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Yes.

Oh, God. Yeah.

Oh, yes.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Oh,

My God.

Oh, damn. Katie. Thank you. And Carrie,

how was your first lesbian encounter? Baby,

I'm gonna let you two come down together. We'll

make us goodbye later. Bye.

That's too much for me.