Original subtitles

ANNOUNCER: This program is rated 14+,

and contains scenes of violence, coarse language,

and mature subject matter.

Viewer discretion is advised.

Really? You don't? Nothing.

Literally nothing. I hear no audio.

It's just, like, thought.

That's insane.

I literally hear my own voice saying stuff back to me.

What are you guys talking about?

Okay. So you know that debate

where people are, like, talking about

whether they can hear their own inner monologue?

Uh, yeah.

Tommy apparently doesn't hear anything at all.

And Courtney apparently hears her own voice. Yes.

Wait. You hear your voice?

I hear Wanda Sykes.

Uh, what? [ Laughter ]

What? Wanda Sykes?

[ Laughter continues ]

- Courtney: Jordan... - You're hilarious, Jordan.

That is so funny.

[ Laughter ] Uh...

That is so funny. "I hear Wanda Sykes."

[ Laughter ]

- Courtney: Oh, my goodness. - Tommy: Oh, my God.

Wanda Sykes' voice: Why do people sometimes think I'm joking when I'm not?

Do people think I'm the kind of person

who's always trying to do bits?

Man, it's crazy how alone you can feel in a group of people.

I hope they didn't think I was being racist

or that I liked race-based humor.

I don't even like ironic racist humor.

You know, it's crazy people are saying the R word so much again.

We really came full circle on that.

I wonder...

[ Theme music plays ]

Thanks so much for coming in on short notice.

Yeah. Of course. Is everything okay?

We brought you in today to talk about Asher's drawings.

He's quite the artist.

It's just, the content of the drawings

that we're concerned about.

The content?

Often when there's disturbing imagery in children's drawings,

it can signal problems at home.

Huh. No, I mean, everything's fine at home.

Great, actually. Right, honey?

Yeah, yeah. Great, great. Um...

What kind of disturbing imagery are we talking about?

The other day, Asher drew this.

Dad: Aww. Is that me playing guitar?

You know, everyone says it's never too late

to pick up an instrument, and they're right.

Thanks, buddy. It's so nice.

[ Dark music plays ]

So it's true, then?

I know a guy learning guitar in his 30s is a little...

Wait. What's...

But I-I figured it was okay,

since Asher never goes into the basement

where his dad does all his...

home-recording stuff.

Wait. So, you're not just learning guitar,

you're home recording?

Oh, yeah. I have a pretty great setup down there.

Actually, last week, Asher helped his daddy

set up some acoustic panels, didn't you, buddy?

[ Dark music plays ]

Yeah, it's cool 'cause it doubles as a podcast studio.

Mm.

So, this actually happened, then- in your home?

Aww, Asher, that's so nice.

My number-one fan. [ Chuckles nervously ]

Mr. Mendoza, what is the subject of your podcast?

Film. Yeah, people seem to like

my Letterboxd, so I figured,

why not dip my toe into podcast land?

[ Stilted chuckle ]

Is everything okay, honey? Mm-hmm...

Asher, um, come here, sweetie.

You told me about this one. What's this one about?

I heard daddy in the shower.

He was talking to a man.

Like, the man was in the shower?

No.

The man was in his head.

Sometimes, he has one-sided imaginary conversations

in the shower with Marc Maron.

So?

Wait. Why is there a cop here?

It's protocol for situations like these.

Situations like what?

He self-published a novel!

[ Dramatic music plays ]

I knew it was bad for Asher to see his dad like this.

I should've stopped it.

Oh, God. My son, my son.

[ Crying ]

Can't you see what all your weak,

sad hobbies are doing to him?

They're not weak or sad.

Asher's just drawing all the cool stuff his dad does.

Isn't that right, buddy? Cool stuff his dad does?

Starting an unboxing channel?

People seem to really like it.

Racing drones?

Creating your own home server?

Hue lights?!

All that stuff is really cool.

Taking a screenwriting class over Zoom?

[ Dark music plays ]

Asher: It's okay, Daddy.

You've taught me so well.

I can't wait to grow up to be a soft man in his 30s

with creative outlets that are just brutal.

Want to start a podcast about sobriety

with your last remaining college friend?

Want to start a Substack about maybe having adult ADHD?

Asher, stop it! None of this stuff is sad.

[ Gunshot ]

[ Somber music plays ]

Lily: [ Gasps ] Oh, God.

[ Body thuds ]

What? What happened?

You're safe now, sweetheart. You're safe.

He can't hurt us anymore.

? No need to worry, just go ahead ?

?

? Your sea of hope- ?

[ Gunshots ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Gunshots ]

?

Wanda Sykes' voice: Why do I care so much about

what other people think about me?

I know they say nobody's thinking about you that much,

but that's not always true.

Sometimes I think a lot about people

who bum me out or annoy me.

What if I'm that person to other people?

The barista at the coffee shop gets my sense of humor.

But maybe I'm projecting that onto her

because I'm attracted to her.

Is it weird that barista is kind of my type

more so than my fianc�e?

Even though I'm really into my fianc�e,

I wonder if I'm my fianc�e's type.

[ Melancholy music plays ]

[ Ominous music plays ]

[ Mouse button clicks ]

?

?

[ Mouse button clicks ]

[ Fearsome music plays ]

?

Hey, man. You didn't want that?

Uh, I thought you were gonna buy that.

[ Cheery music plays ]

Buy what?

My listing. I'm selling my soul.

Are you, um...

Oh, I'm so sorry. Rude.

I'll knock next time.

Yes. I'm- I'm the devil.

Hi.

Hey. Sorry. Don't- don't people

usually try to sell their soul to you?

Why are you trying to sell your soul?

Are- aren't you, like- Aren't you, like, rich?

No. I don't have a job.

You don't have a job?

What's my job?

Like, evil, or...

So, do you actually, like, need money?

Yeah. I have to buy a gift.

It's my best friend's birthday next week.

He's turning 14.

Your best friend is 14?

13. Turning 14. Yeah.

Oh.

But, yeah, we had a little bit of a falling out,

so I'm trying to mend fences a bit.

Well, in terms of buying your soul,

like, would I get anything from it?

Like, what would I do with your soul?

Well, that's up to you, man.

Whatever you want to do with it.

And I'm only asking 45 bucks.

It's a pretty fair price.

Do you mind if I think about it and get back to you?

Oh, my God, totally. Yeah. Yeah.

Cool.

I'll throw some time on your calendar.

Awesome.

[ Breathes deeply ]

?

Voicemail: First message.

Devil: Jordan, it's the Devil again.

Hey, so, I'm still looking to sell my soul,

if- if you're interested.

Jordan, still 45 bucks. No, it's no rush or anything,

but, you know, it'd be good to know sooner rather than later.

Hey, man, I'm just walking around L.A.

Hey, I'm feeling some Sunday scaries today, but...

Hey, I'm subletting a place in Echo Park.

Isn't that where you live?

Let me know if you wanna hang sometime.

Yeah, hit me back, man.

I notice there's a screenwriting course online,

and, uh, looks pretty good,

but you get a discount if you do it with someone else,

so think about it.

[ Line beeps ]

?

Yeah, that's a bummer.

I'm just sort of, like,

why are you leaving me so many of these?

In fairness, you are thumbs-upping him.

It just feels mean not to respond.

Devil: Dude, I just saw the new Cronenberg,

but I would definitely watch it again if you're-

You know, I mean, it's, like, genius.

Hey, that reminds me. Are you on AMC Stubs?

You gotta join me Entourage. [ Chuckles ]

"Me Entourage"?

I know. And I'm like, "I bought your soul

so you would, like, leave me alone.

Not to mention, his soul,

as I suspected, is completely useless.

Like, it does nothing.

And he's coming over?

We can watch a movie, talk.

I've run out of reasons not to hang out with him.

Maybe he's lonely.

I mean, he's definitely lonely,

but I'm just sort of, like,

"Can you choose someone else to be your friend?"

[ Laughing ] Oh, shit.

The sad thing is, I think I'm legit

his only friend. [ Sighs ]

[ Door knocks ] Oh.

Is that him?

Hey. What's up, man?

Ooh! Hoppy Water.

Love those things.

Been trying to stay sober, and...

these really help out a lot.

Oh, this is, uh, Darren.

Hey.

Is everything okay?

Yeah.

Soul: Don't look at me. Tell him how you feel, pussy.

What am I doing? Uh, come in.

I'm being so rude.

Oh, uh... yeah, all right.

[ Bright music plays ]

It's good to see you. [ Chuckles ]

?

Wanda Sykes' voice: I hate when co-workers comment on what you're eating at work.

Like, if you bring in leftovers,

and they're like, "Mmm, smells good."

Oh, shit.

I got a doctor's appointment this week,

and I didn't let my boss know.

I should send her an e-mail real quick.

Why do I still fixate on mistakes I made in college?

I don't even know any of those people anymore.

I don't even have their phone numbers anymore.

I wonder if my fianc�e knows

how much her bisexuality makes me feel special.

I really hate when people call me "big guy."

Like, "Hey, big guy."

I get that I'm not a big guy,

but I'm also not small.

I'm like a really normal height.

I'd actually be pretty tall in the Philippines.

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