Original subtitles

Without learning to enjoy our full sexuality, without meaningful sex

education, we live with insecurities and inhibitions, which often deprive us of

reaching our true sexual potential.

Welcome to the Better Sex Video Series Part 2, Advanced Sexual Techniques.

We hope the sexual skills you learn here will help you and your partner find

greater pleasure in your relationship.

The couples you've met in Volume 1 of this series, Better Sexual Techniques,

will join us again. This time they'll be sharing methods of manual sex play,

masturbation, oral sex, intercourse, and anal sex.

As you watch these explicit scenes, you and your partner might see things you'd

like to try.

We hope you'll talk them over and decide which ones are right for you.

Some of America's leading sex educators and counselors will join us again, too,

for more guidance and perspective.

Getting used to talking with your partner about your desires, likes,

dislikes and concerns is your first step towards a greater intimacy and better

sex. Relax.

Remember that discoveries you make about yourself and each other will be joyful

ones. Have fun.

Don't touch down there. That's a message that many of us got from our parents,

the first taboo.

Maybe we don't think masturbation would make us blind anymore, but it still

causes a lot of people concern and anxiety.

We think it's immature, a crutch.

People with a good sex life don't need to do it.

Research indicates that most men still feel guilty and inadequate about

masturbating. However, they still continue to masturbate.

It becomes a well-guarded secret.

The taboo now seems to be in letting anyone know.

Masturbation is a safe, healthy way to give yourself pleasure.

And for many people, it is an important part of sexual self-discovery.

Not only can it help you to get to know your sexual response, but you can use

this understanding to enhance your sexual relationship with your partner.

Many women have never seen a man masturbate. The idea of it can be a

sexual turn-on for some women.

There's the added benefit for the woman in learning what makes him feel good by

having him show you how he enjoys being touched.

Stroking yourself while your underwear is still on may help you get started

slowly, playfully.

Stroking, being attentive to the glands, the head of the penis, Usually it

creates the physical sensations that lead to erection.

As you become hard, a tighter grip and more aggressive stroking will continue

to build arousal.

But don't do this while your penis is soft. That can hurt.

Using two hands can be an enjoyable alternative to a single hand style.

Try it.

The most sensitive parts of the penis are the glands, the head, and the area

below the glands on the underside of the penis.

Gary uses his fingertips to massage there. He squeezes the glands with his

thumb and forefinger on each stroke.

Allow yourself to move all around. Make sounds.

Feel free to enjoy yourself.

If you don't want it to be over yet, Slow down.

Gary enjoys stimulating his scrotum, the sac that contains his testes.

As you approach orgasm, you may feel a natural urge to thrust your hips.

This might increase your arousal and the intensity of your orgasm.

As orgasm approaches, Gary uses a slow rhythm. He continues to stimulate

himself throughout his ejaculation.

Some men stop all movement as they ejaculate. Others prefer even more rapid

stimulation than Gary's.

Experiment. Try different techniques to find out what's right for you.

Do you feel yourself ejaculate too rapidly during intercourse?

You can learn how to slow down by masturbating to the point where you're

just about to ejaculate, then stop.

Rest for a moment. Start again.

There. You're learning how to pace yourself.

Once you've learned to delay ejaculation through masturbation, you can bring this

skill to intercourse.

We've come a long way in acknowledging a woman's sexuality on its own terms.

Still, cultural distortions persist.

For too long, women were split into the virgin, mother, or whore stereotypes in

a culture that associated sexuality with genitalia.

Female sexuality encompasses all of the senses.

It involves the whole body, and it should not be controlled by negative

attitudes of a society or a religion, but by a woman herself.

The clitoris is the only human organ whose sole purpose is to produce sexual

pleasure. Statistics indicate that 70% of women have masturbated, though as

with men, few of us discuss it even with each other.

We hope you'll use what we show you as a guide and choose what you like and see

what works best for you.

If you've never masturbated, start slowly.

Arouse yourself without trying to have an orgasm the first time.

Just play.

If you already masturbate, perhaps the techniques you see will add some

sobriety. Many men enjoy watching their partner stimulate herself.

She's a sexy treat for the eyes, and he can learn what pleases her for when it's

his turn.

Laura uses a hand mirror to look at herself. She touches her outer labia, or

vaginal lips first, then her inner labia, the small lips.

Where her inner lips meet above the opening of her vagina is very close to

her clitoris.

It's covered by a fold of skin called the clitoral hood. By touching herself

while watching, Laura can see what feels good.

When you spread your inner labia with your finger, you can see the opening of

the vagina.

Try using a finger to stimulate the vaginal opening. If that feels good, you

can lubricate your finger so it slides smoothly over your clitoris and your

labia. Use your own saliva or a water-based lubricant.

Cindy has an aggressive, even rough masturbation style.

She uses firm pressure and rubs her clitoris rapidly.

Moving her fingers mostly up and down, Cindy sometimes varies with some

circular movement.

She's also stimulating her nipples.

As a way of teasing herself, Cindy slows down, even stops clitoral stimulation as

orgasm approaches.

Delaying orgasm often increases its intensity.

When she's ready, Cindy increases speed and pressure, only slowing as the first

few orgasmic contractions begin.

In the hot tub, Donna positions her body so that the water from the whirlpool jet

massages her genitals and stimulates her clitoris.

Running water can cause intense orgasms.

Instead of a hot tub jet, you can use a handheld shower head or a shower

massager. Water flow from a bathtub faucet can work as well.

If you're not comfortable touching yourself with your fingers this style of

masturbation can provide delightful sexual play.

Every woman's health can benefit from developing a strong pubic oxygous or PC

muscle, the one that contracts during female orgasm. To find it, simply

practice stopping the flow of urine.

An instrument called a paranometer measures and exercises the PC muscle.

Women who have strong pelvic muscles have fewer vaginal problems and tend to

have more satisfying sexual function.

Men can exercise their PC muscle to better PC muscle tone helps men delay

their ejaculations

Once

you're

comfortable with masturbation perhaps it's time to try it in front of your

partner some discoveries are meant to be celebrated together So think about

inviting your partner to see you enjoying yourself. If you have any

difficulty relaxing at first, try closing your eyes and find a sexy

fantasy behind those closed lids.

Chances are you'll soon enjoy watching each other. And you'll each learn how he

or she likes to be touched.

A bonus.

Masturbating Together is part of Mary and Robert's Sex Play.

They're touching themselves, but they're also enjoying each other. They enjoy

kissing, too. They can feel each other's passion mount as their kissing becomes

more fervent.

Mary likes to stroke her clitoris lengthwise using one finger, but she

sometimes uses two fingers, one on each side of the clitoris.

She also enjoys tending to her inner vaginal lips, moving her fingers in a

circular motion, allowing stimulation of the inner labia and her clitoris.

Many women even enjoy more circular movement of their fingers to stimulate

the clitoris.

You can see that even though she never touches his genitals and he never

touches hers, they're having sex together.

Like Mary and Robert, Gary and Donna communicate while masturbating together.

They enjoy putting on a show for each other's stimulation.

Donna's using a classic circular motion on her clitoris. It's a favorite

technique among women.

And Gary's lengthwise single-handed stroking of his penis is popular with

males. They're using a water-based lubricant that mimics natural vaginal

lubrication.

If you want to learn how to touch your partner, the best way is to allow him or

her to show you.

Larry used

to work hard trying to please Susan.

Now he understands her preferences better and can have fun giving her

pleasure.

When he saw Susan pull her nipples while masturbating, he realized that he too

could please her by kissing and sucking her breasts.

Hmm.

Larry saw how much she liked having her G-spot stimulated too.

You can see the location of the G-spot in this diagram.

It also shows how a penis fits into the vagina.

See how a penis doesn't normally stimulate a woman's G-spot?

This area can be better reached with your fingers.

Insert one or two fingers into the vagina palm up.

Rub with firm pressure on the front wall of your partner's vagina.

You may have to feel your way up first.

The G-spot is one and a half to two inches inside the front wall of the

vagina.

It's about the size of a pea at first.

Once stimulated, the G-spot expands to the size of a dime or even a quarter.

Try massaging the G-spot and the vagina at the same time.

Your partner may have very intense and perhaps even multiple orgasms.

This couple has learned that if Larry keeps very firm pressure on Susan's G

-spot while lightly massaging her clitoris, Susan gets aroused to the peak

of an intense orgasm.

as he watched cindy masturbate stephen learned how much she likes breast play

cindy can almost have an orgasm from nipple stimulation alone now stephen

pays as much loving attention to cindy's breasts as to her genitals

In study after study, fellatio, or oral sex performed on a man, is a sexual

behavior that many men prefer.

And these men remark that fellatio made them feel greatly accepted.

However, others are uncomfortable in a passive role.

Of course, we've got more cultural baggage.

Only prostitutes and whores go down on guys, not lovers and wives.

And for some, there's an age-old fear of being bitten.

Genitals are not dirty places.

Did you know that normal, healthy urine is sterile?

Fallatio can be a great pleasure for both of you. If you wrap your lips over

your front teeth, you won't have to worry about him feeling that he'll be

bitten. If you don't take too much of him into your mouth, then you'll avoid

his penis going too far back into your throat.

You might use a wet hand on the lower part of his penis to give him some added

pleasure.

Mary wasn't taught about oral sex at all, so at first she felt unsuccessful

and unskilled. But with practice, she relaxed and learned to play.

Fallatio involves licking, sucking, kissing, hands, and imagination.

Mary discovered how to tease, excite, even how to prevent or slow down

Robert's orgasm.

Mary uses a rhythm.

very similar to the rhythm that Robert uses when pleasuring himself.

By using her hand as well as her mouth, she stimulates the whole length of his

penis. Try taking short breaks from rhythmic sucking.

Lick especially the glands from the underside of the shaft.

Most men like to watch their lovers give them oral sex.

So think about an accommodating position and some soft lighting.

Some like to rest a hand on the back of his partner's head to guide or rhythm.

If your hand's around his penis, it'll keep too much of it from going into your

mouth.

The helpful guidance of his hand can help you give great fellatio.

Almost all men enjoy the intense orgasm that fellatio can produce, but many

women are uncomfortable with the idea of semen in their mouths.

If you think of it as unpleasing, try tasting a few drops of semen in your

hand the next time your partner has an orgasm.

It should not be unpleasant.

If you agree, try fellatio to just before orgasm, finishing the last few

seconds with your hand.

Then lick some of the semen off of his penis.

Gradually you might become more comfortable with the idea of his

ejaculate in your mouth.

Mary enjoys her lover coming in her mouth. There is nothing in ejaculation

that is harmful to swallow.

Men can be uncomfortable about tasting their own semen, too.

So they're hesitant to kiss after fellatio to orgasm.

If that kiss is important to you, feel free to remind him that there's nothing

harmful about it.

Donna has a playful style of fellatio.

She likes taking Gary's soft penis in her mouth and feeling it grow.

She uses her tongue often to lick that most sensitive part of Gary's penis.

As she switches from licking to sucking, she likes watching his facial

expressions. And he enjoys the sensations she creates with her mouth.

Donna includes licking Gary's scrotum and sucking on his testicles in her oral

play.

She also uses her finger to rub the perineum, that very sensitive area

behind the scrotum but in front of his anus.

When she's ready for Gary to ejaculate Donna uses her hand along with her mouth

She increases the stimulation and sucks firmly sealing her lips around his penis

Sucking his penis while he ejaculates can intensify his orgasm

Before trying Cindy's style of fellatio, make sure that he likes being handled

that roughly.

Virginia had some difficulty getting used to Bill's rather long penis.

Through practice, she learned how to take quite a bit of his length into her

mouth.

First, she took as much of his erection as she could. Then, staying still and

relaxed, she took deep breaths through her nose.

She eased another quarter to half an inch into her mouth.

If she felt her throat begin to contract, she relaxed her neck and

throat muscles.

A deep breath, then she withdrew his penis from her mouth.

You can repeat this pattern until holding more of your partner's penis

becomes more comfortable, a quarter to half an inch at a time.

It might be easier to practice if you're aroused, and playing with yourself while

practicing this technique will make it more fun.

Of course, as an alternative, you can use your hand together with your mouth

to provide pleasure.

Sometimes a man will feel like having sex but won't be able to have an

erection. After all, our bodies aren't machines that can be turned on or off

with a switch.

But there is much more to being sexual than just having intercourse.

Do not allow erectile difficulties to interfere with the opportunity to please

your partner.

For example, oral sex and other sex play can be very pleasing.

You can get plenty of lubrication from a tube or a bottle. And fellatio doesn't

require an erection.

A man can enjoy oral sex with his penis hard or soft.

And some men can even have an orgasm when they don't have an erection.

Female oral stimulation, or cunnilingus, is a very enjoyable sexual experience

for many women, and it certainly takes the pressure off of the penis to satisfy

a woman.

Men have been taught many negative things about cunnilingus. Real men don't

do it. You're not macho if you go down on a woman.

Where do these ideas come from?

Well, for centuries in our society, women's sexuality has been considered

dirty. The medical term for vulva, the external female genitals, is pudendum.

a Latin word that means to be ashamed.

But women are working hard to reclaim the beauty of their own bodies,

including their genitals.

It seems to me that the manly thing to do is to celebrate this exquisite,

fascinating place with your partner.

Oral sex is a very popular activity that many couples enjoy.

It provides sensations that are very pleasurable, but different from

intercourse. It can be part of your foreplay or used as a pleasurable

activity in itself.

Cunnilingus is meant to be savored, so take your time.

Get your partner into a comfortable position.

If your partner raises one or both of her legs, her pelvis will tilt forward,

making her genitals easier to reach.

The clitoris is more sensitive than the tip of the man's penis, so be gentle

there. If you flick your tongue against her clitoris, it will usually feel very

good. Robert moves his tongue very rapidly, arousing Mary.

Hold her inner labia, the small lips.

Hold them apart and gently pull the skin above the clitoris up towards her navel.

The clitoral hood will retract, exposing the tip of her clitoris to your tongue.

If that spot is too intense for her, then let that flap of the skin back

down.

Lick and tease her through the skin.

Lick the area around her clitoris, too.

most women prefer varying patterns of stimulation as they are getting aroused

try mixing licking with sucking and kissing use

lips as well as tongue

Once she is wet and well aroused, the firmer stimulation of her fingers will

probably feel very good.

Bill likes to tease Jenny.

He'll lick her stomach, her inner thighs. He won't even touch her genitals

until she asks him to.

Most of the time, sex shouldn't be rushed.

Jenny likes Bill to use his whole mouth on her. He strokes her clitoris with the

flat surface of his tongue.

You can slip a finger in her vagina and press upwards against her G-spot while

licking your lover's clitoris.

Donna prefers slow, gentle, sensitive movements.

Gary savors her with little licks occasionally, adding a broad lick and

some sucking.

Donna enjoys it when Gary includes rubbing her G-spot.

Some women like the stimulation to stop at least briefly after having an orgasm.

Many refer to this as sitting on his face, but she's actually sitting on his

chest. Much of her weight's on her knees.

It's a good way for a woman to feel in control.

On top, you can bring just the right spot into contact with his tongue.

If your partner has a mustache or beard, they become part of the play in this

position.

Another way for couples to engage in oral sex is to do it simultaneously.

This is known as 69.

Your bodies are positioned opposite each other, feet to head.

It's a good position for people who like the idea of accepting pleasure while

giving it at the same time.

For other couples, it's difficult to do two things at the same time. If you

concentrate on what's being done to you, you can lose track of what's being done

for your partner.

And a man might be wary of his partner clenching her teeth during orgasm.

But for those who can master it, simultaneous oral sex is often their

favorite form of having sex.

Boys are brought up to equate intercourse with manhood. There are many

cultural influences at play.

Male dominance with intercourse as its symbol, a sex drive that's automatic

behavior for men, a means to verify their male identity.

These are the traditional pressures that men face.

For women, intercourse, instead of being a simple, pleasurable activity, was

often a symbol of their subservience.

For centuries, it was considered the only acceptable form of sexual

expression. For reproductive purposes, there has been a historical denial of

clitoral stimulation.

And far from being romantic and orgasmic, even in the 19th century, an

orgasmic woman was considered vulgar by Western society.

No wonder women have been less enthusiastic about sex than men.

While intercourse is a favorite sexual activity for many men, it is important

to consider your partner's pleasure.

Intercourse is a shared activity, and it is essential for men to understand what

rhythm and positions are enjoyed by their partner.

Remember, good sex is what you and your partner feel good about, both during and

afterwards. Most women find that manual and oral sex play is a pathway to

orgasm, but they wouldn't want to give up intercourse. There's a unique feeling

of closeness when your partner's penis is contained within you.

And as his orgasm approaches, you can feel the buildup of the intensity inside

your body.

You might try using some of the techniques and positions that you'll see

here to make your intercourse more varied and exciting.

Sex isn't meant to be a statement of athletic prowess, but a way to be

intimate and have fun together.

Part of its variety lies in what you do within different positions you use.

not in how many positions you can get your bodies into.

Sitting up, like Robert does with Mary, is very enjoyable.

Moving your partner's legs and the angle of penetration can change the sensations

you experience.

In the missionary position, if the man moves his body up slightly on his

partner's body, the base of his penis can press against her clitoris with each

thrust.

The female astride position is a favorite for many women.

Some men find the position emotionally difficult.

and set the penetration that feels best for her.

Intercourse doesn't always mean moving the penis in and out of the vagina.

Sometimes just rocking can feel very good.

Pressing down, moving back without the penis really moving in and out much can

be very stimulating.

This rocking movement often allows intercourse to last longer, delaying

orgasm.

Here's intercourse with the woman astride, but with her back to her

partner's face.

Entirely different sensations for both partners with this position.

A woman can use her partner's penis outside her vagina to rub against her

clitoris and labia.

Very stimulating.

This position also allows the woman control of the angle of the penis

penetration

Rear

entry is very popular

the woman can be on her hands and knees lying flat or resting on pillows

different angles of her body will determine depth and penetration

and a man on his knees behind his partner will feel different than when he

is lying on top of her

In rear entry intercourse, buttocks provide great padding and allow for

vigorous thrusting.

If you like your sex athletic, this is a great position and very convenient for

the G-spot stimulation.

Most couples have sex in only one place, the bedroom.

This is especially true for couples with children.

But when the children are sound asleep or away, why not use other rooms of the

house? Say the living room or dining room, kitchen, the garage, anywhere.

Many of us are concerned that our children will hear the noises that we're

making. But when the kids are away... Oh, bless those neighbors.

Or when you use different parts of the house, it's a good time to let

yourselves go. Get loud and noisy. Making noise is fun.

And doing sex differently is fun, too.

That's why it's worth getting out of the bedroom, even if the bed is more

comfortable than, say, Underneath the table? Underneath the table, yeah.

Sure, anywhere in the house that you like.

Don't be afraid to be unrestrained. Grab those private moments to let yourself

go. Have a wild time.

Our initial reaction to the idea of anal intercourse is to think of pain.

And if you and your partner don't know what you're doing, anal intercourse

probably will be painful.

With proper preparation, lots of lubrication, and a gentle sensitivity

from both of you, it can be a pleasurable experience.

Before trying anal intercourse, be sure the anal penetration by a finger or two

feels good.

Some people who don't like anal intercourse may still enjoy having their

anus stimulated by their partner's finger.

Many couples are curious about anal sex.

The anal region is rich in nerve endings, and stimulation of this area

can provide very pleasurable feelings.

However, it is important to be gentle and take your time.

Before inserting the penis, it is advisable to prepare for anal

intercourse by inserting a well-lubricated finger.

This will help to relax and prepare the area before anal intercourse is

attempted.

In order for this to be a pleasurable activity, allow her to be in charge, and

let the woman control both the depth and the pace of your penetration.

Remember, anal intercourse is a mutual activity and it is very important that

both partners consent.

For health and other reasons, many couples use a condom during anal sex.

It is important to wash the penis thoroughly if you intend to move from

anal to vaginal intercourse.

For some, anal intercourse is exciting because they've been taught that it's

wrong. So they feel like they're breaking a rule, a taboo.

To others it's exciting because it's different.

In anal intercourse, getting ready is as important as how to do it.

Kissing and slow arousal are the predecessors to anal penetration.

Use lots of lubrication both on his penis and her anus to keep from hurting.

The anus and the rectum have no self-lubricating mechanism like the

vagina does.

Without using lubrication, anal intercourse will become very

uncomfortable.

Before even considering putting a penis in an anus, a finger has to fit

comfortably first.

We encourage anal play with fingers before trying anal intercourse.

The finger should be well lubricated, and it should feel good, exciting, and

arousing.

A finger that goes into the anus should never touch the vagina.

That's almost a guaranteed way to cause an infection.

There are bacteria in our digestive tract that just do not belong in the

vagina. So a finger that touches inside the anus and then touches the penis can

cause an infection, if the penis then goes into the vagina.

Even in exclusive relationships, it is recommended that people use condoms in

anal intercourse.

A condom won't get in the way, and it will make it safer.

It should be the woman's hand that guides his penis into her anus.

Again, she's in charge, and her body should control the depth of penetration

and all movement.

We encourage the man to stay still until her partner says that she would like him

to move.

So if you decide to try anal intercourse, make sure that you take

your time and make it a gentle and loving experience.

The face-to-face so-called missionary position for intercourse has some great

advantages. And variations that keep it exciting and new for both partners.

Facing your partner is intimate. It allows both of you to appreciate signs

of pleasure.

If a man rides high, his penis can stimulate the clitoris as well as the

vagina.

A woman is free to use her hands to further her own clitoral pleasure.

And when she bends her legs she can encourage her lover's deep penetration.

A roll to your sides can give you both angles for further stimulation.

And on your sides neither has to support each other's weight.

Forming a V gives you even more freedom to stimulate each other's genitals and

upper bodies.

Both partners maintain plenty of control.

This position is easy to maintain great for prolonged intercourse

When

a

woman moves her legs she opens a range of engaging opportunities She can adjust

pressure, speed, and her lover's penetration.

penetration can proceed even deeper when the man is on his knees.

When a woman raises both legs in the air she allows her partner to control the

force and speed of his thrusting.

The action of her lover's penis can still stimulate the lips of her vulva

and her clitoral hood.

As she locks her legs around his waist, she provides a lever to guide his

penetration.

Tightly entwined closeness, shared control.

These are compliments to deep, satisfying penetration for both of you.

They make the missionary position anything but standard.

Please feel free to review this program and talk about it with your partner.

Talk about what you see.

Practice the techniques you decide you'd like to try.

The more you practice, the better you'll get.

Create some privacy, make some time. It takes some effort to bring new ideas

into your sex life, but it's worth it. And this program isn't the end of

learning. Our third volume in the Better Sex video series is called Making Sex

Fun with Games and Toys. It'll show you how to bring a whole new dimension of

creativity into your erotic life. We hope you'll join us there. In the

meantime, we wish you pleasure and excitement in your intimate

relationships.

Many moments of loving. And being loved.