Original subtitles

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What's he up to in his suit?

Ratatouille, come here!

I don't believe this!

Where's Christian? Find him, Ratatouille!

Christian, where are you?

Where's he got to?

Go away!

Clear off!

There you are! You could answer me when I call.

What are you doing?

Get down from there before you fall.

No, Christian!

No!

Oh, good grief!

The plonker tried to hang himself.

Ratatouille,

not now, clear off!

You're totally bonkers!

Look at the state you're in.

What a mess!

It's because I got the measurement wrong.

The rope was too long.

You should have climbed higher.

Yeah, but I'm scared of heights.

Then you should have jumped in the river.

I can't swim!

"I can't swim"! I swear!

If dimwits could float, we wouldn't need water wings!

Good lord, good lord!

Is this birdshit?

Good lord! Just a second...

I didn't tell you,

Lucette came round this morning.

She brought me two turnips.

How do you know whether my son

had an unhappy childhood?

You didn't raise him!

I'm sure all this stems from a year ago

when his wife left him, the cow!

He'd just about got over it,

but when he found out that her daughter wasn't his...

Mrs Bodin, it's very simple. Your son is severely depressed.

I know that.

So we've started a treatment of some very strong medication,

to temporarily disconnect him from reality.

Christian must do as little thinking as possible,

to let his brain rest.

I can tell you, Doctor,

that his brain has been resting for quite a while.

He's never used it!

No, don't joke! It's more serious than you think.

Count yourself lucky he's still alive.

Without your help he'll try again, the first chance he gets.

Mrs Bodin,

do you love your son?

Of course I do. He's all I have.

From now on, you'll have to be very nice to him,

and very patient.

You'll have to extricate him from the commonplace.

Speak French!

I don't understand all that gobbledygook.

A change of scenery.

That's a good one!

Have you ever seen a bumpkin out of his element?

CHÂTEAUROUX TRAVEL 20% OFF

THAILAND land of the smile

Wonderful!

There.

It's us next, come on.

No food allowed.

Are you mad?

I don't believe it!

You thug!

- Last call for Mr and Mrs Bodin. - That's us!

Please go to gate B for immediate boarding.

Oh, blimey!

Christian, wake up!

Look at the little birds.

- Where does it itch? - In the middle.

It's itchy.

- What can I do? - I don't know.

Give me your wand, Harry Potter!

That's enough!

Careful!

It's stuck!

- Madam, please sit down. - Yes!

I can't get it.

No, no more of that.

From now on, your medication is Thailand.

Sawadi-ka...

- What? - Your fly!

Shut the door before the spuds freeze!

Is this going on much longer?

- I can't hear you. - Is this going on much longer?

Stop shouting! People are asleep.

- You're a nuisance. - What an idiot!

THE BODIN'S IN THAILAND

I'm glad we're here at last.

Thank you very much. Oh, it's hot!

It's beautiful.

Mum, they've got our bags!

- What's "bag" in Thai? - I don't know.

Where are you taking my haemorrhoids?

Wow, you're pretty good!

It's like tightrope walking, you just have to give it a go!

How nice! Is that for us?

Thank you very much.

A little drink as we arrive, what a delicate gesture!

- Did you have a nice trip? - Mustn't grumble.

Your passports, please, for the check-in.

Yes, of course.

Our passports for the check-in.

Maria Bodin?

Yes, that's me. But it's pronounced Bodain.

I may look like a puddin', but I'm Maria Bodain!

No, never mind.

Thank you for the check-in.

I'll leave this, it's not great.

- Come on, Christian. - Pocahontas.

Blimey, Christian!

Just look at this place!

Good lord!

It's like being in a film.

I'd never have expected this, as long as I live!

Look how big the bed is, Christian!

A horse could sleep in that.

Horses sleep standing up.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you very much. No, really, thank you!

Let me kiss you!

Yes, I have to kiss you!

Gimme five!

He's waiting for a tip.

A tip?

A tip, a tip...

We've only just got here, they're treating us like Yanks!

Hang on, where did I put it? Here!

Now, then. This one here.

Yes, a bit of...

Don't you want a tip?

Clear off, then!

It's not the tip he doesn't like, it's the purse.

Christian, look at this.

The terrace.

Come on, move yourself!

This is crazy!

There's even a big bathtub outside. We can get washed every day.

Wow, that's a mother of a view!

I could weep!

All I've had for fifty years is a view of my mother.

That's enough to make me weep too.

What a party-pooper!

Put your trunks on, we'll go for a swim.

Madam.

Pretty serious machines!

They're at least 500cc, I reckon.

I know my stuff. Oh, yes, anything like that.

I did the Bol d'Or race, on my moped, when I was younger.

Seventy-five kilometres per hour.

That's how I lost my eight teeth in the front,

They shot out like popcorn.

I'm still waiting for the tooth fairy.

Must use plenty of oil, like chips.

How many horses, under the bonnet?

Horses, under the bonnet?

I don't know how to say it in Thai, sorry.

Horses!

Who?

That?

Me?

You're mad!

I'm too old for that.

What a joker!

Well, the thing is, I...

It's that tube, it's not very practical at all.

I pressed it and...

For Mr Christian.

Thank you.

It slipped through my hands because of the cream.

No problem. I bring another.

No, it's all right. I wasn't really thirsty anyway.

Yes, you very thirsty, you put cream.

Thank you.

Let me just make sure, as this is my first time.

I aim for the horizon,

turning it like...

Oh, heck!

Blimey, this can shift!

No, I'm disappointed. Your scooter's underpowered, pal.

Thanks, that's so kind.

Come tonight, see me,

with other ladies.

Me dancing.

You come?

Yeah, I'll have to check with my mum, because...

Please.

You come for me?

It depends how much it is too.

Free.

By pool.

You come to see me?

All right?

See you tonight?

Sour what?

Well, I think...

that must mean I'm going.

Not bad!

Christian...

can't you be quiet just for a minute,

please?

Ouch, my hairs!

No, don't!

Screaming like a stuck pig.

What a pain.

What a pain!

You wear me... out.

Oh, yes.

Oh, right.

Swap over.

Come over here, cutie.

That'll be better.

Yes, that'll feel good.

What a handsome lad.

It feels so good, so good!

I'm a new woman!

Oh, you naughty thing!

Be quiet, Mum, you're embarrassing.

Shut up! Can't I relax a bit?

This is a first for 50 years!

Higher.

Higher!

Yeah, but still...

Yes, that's good!

This isn't massage,

it's heavy petting!

- I'm soaking! - I don't believe it.

- It's taking ages. - They'll be on soon.

I hope so because I'm dropping off.

I'm only here to please you.

It's starting.

Isn't it in French?

Stop it! No, it's not.

That's her.

- Which one? - There, look.

- Natchaya. - Looks like her.

- The queen of this evening. - The queen? Well, well!

It's La Vie en Rose.

I knew it.

I knew I'd be bored to death.

Go on!

- Go on! - I can't dance.

It won't be the first time you've looked a right plonker.

What a disaster!

Very handsome!

With that plaster cast on his leg.

Meanwhile, I'm getting eaten alive by mosquitoes!

A pretty picture!

Up close you can tell they're guys.

Mind you, "ladyboy", the word itself tells you.

Their boobs look realistic, though.

It's not surprising some guys get taken in.

Shit!

Thank you.

Christian.

Shall we go to bed now, Christian?

Christian, here, quick.

Too late.

It's not my night.

On the photo she signed for me

it calls her "the Snow Queen".

Yes, and unfortunately

your Snow Queen has a nice pair of cupcakes on the dessert menu!

What?

No, nothing, son.

Nothing.

Have you taken your medication today?

No.

- You told me not to. - Yes, but...

maybe not all of a sudden.

Here, take this. You never know.

- There you go. - Thanks.

What a day!

It's time to go to sleep.

Yes, Mum, you're right.

- Goodnight. - Yes, goodnight.

And thank you, Mum. For everything.

Yes, yes. Sweet dreams.

Well... maybe don't dream too much.

Goodnight.

Sorry.

Not that one.

That one... is for the entrance.

No.

No, it's not the entrance. What is it?

What's that?

What is it?

It's the bathroom.

That's handy, you can put the light on from the bed.

Well, turn it off now in the bathroom.

Is that off in the bathroom?

No.

No, it's still on.

You can turn it on from the bed,

but not turn it off. How, then?

- Probably in the bathroom. - Yeah, you reckon?

Yes.

Yeah.

There, it's off now.

I've worked it out for the bathroom.

But how do I turn off the one in the living room?

This one?

No, that's right in my face! If you wouldn't mind turning it off.

- Sorry, sorry. - Thank you.

This must be it.

That doesn't do anything.

That's blown it!

That switches everything on.

I'll turn that off because it's not very nice.

It turns them all on, but doesn't turn any off.

It's bewildering!

If there's a button to turn them all on,

then logically there's one to turn them all off.

If you could at the same time find the switch to shut your gob,

that would be really nice,

because I really want to go to sleep now.

Maybe it's this remote control.

- It hasn't done anything. - Yes, it has!

That remote control is for the air-conditioning.

The lad said not to fiddle with it.

My bad!

- What a pain! - The other remote...

That's the coffee.

I think I pressed something I shouldn't have.

That's all you've been doing.

No, but...

I just want to turn the lights off, or sleeping will be...

Mum?

Mum!

- It's freezing! - Yes, it's cold.

What's happened here?

Are you there?

That's my... underpants.

Look, Mum.

- Look at my underpants. - Where?

- Here. - Is that your underpants?

It's my underpants.

I told you to leave the air-conditioning alone.

Everything's frozen.

Last night, when you made me

get up and dance, well...

My mum was watching me like this!

- Not that good, really. - Excuse me.

I'll be right back.

I...

All right, son?

Great, really great.

Wonderful.

I have something to tell you.

Good, because so have I.

- Really? - Yes.

- Maybe the same thing. - I doubt it.

- Really? - Yes.

Who goes first, then?

Me. It'll save time.

You've fallen in love with the waitress, is that right?

- Yes, that's right. - Right.

No, but the most amazing thing

is that I get the feeling she's in love with me too.

- Yes, that's just it. - Really?

That's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about.

All right.

I don't know which angle to come at it from.

You like cupcakes, don't you?

Yeah.

Well...

Christian!

Christian, listen to me!

Get down right now!

This time I'm not going to mess it up.

Don't be stupid!

No, life is done with me!

I don't believe this!

Listen, Christian.

Don't do yourself in over a chick.

A cock pretending to be a chick!

We stopped the medication too soon. Do you want one?

You told me that Thailand was my medication!

- Make your mind up! - Yes, but it's a big place.

We need another change of scenery.

I can't take any more, Mum.

I'll get you an ice-cream.

And lots of sandals.

Have you stopped messing about now?

Doesn't it make you feel small?

Excuse us.

Sorry, ladies and gentlemen.

Watch out.

We have to get over there.

He's disabled. Thank you.

How does the current get through

that big bundle of wires?

That's like in your head.

When it's that tangled, it's bound to short-circuit now and then.

- Are you there? - Yeah.

Keep it up, Christian.

No, I can't.

- We have to go down again! - It's like life.

It has its ups and downs.

- Yeah, but... - Come on.

Come on.

I can't, there are all these Dai Lalamas!

It's so beautiful!

Yes, it's...

gorgeous, it's...

Keep your eyes over there!

You see.

We deserve a rest, son.

A drop of rosé would be nice.

- You're right. - Hang on.

I have to give

some money

to this lady.

Now, then...

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and that makes 600.

That's a fortune!

No, you don't understand. Their currency is worth nothing.

That note, for example, is worth about three euros.

And what can you buy with it?

A whole goat cheese.

Oh, right.

Put it away.

As the song says, don't act rich when you're skint.

Oh, yes.

Whisky coca.

Let's go, son.

Up the wooden hill and down sheet lane!

- This was worth a look. - You're right there.

They sell everything.

Yes. The whole caboodle, as we say.

Hello.

How much for that? How much?

A hundred?

A hundred baht? Okay.

That's what we said, right?

Mum, here you go.

Watch out, Christian!

Come here!

Blimey, that was close!

Let go, you're hurting.

You're gripping tight.

- Yes. - There, thanks.

This is for you.

This bouquet.

My Christian!

You scared me, Christian.

It's all right, it's all right.

We usually use these as bait.

Yes, you're right. Oh, look!

A grasshopper has jumped in my soup.

- No, you eat it. - This?

Here, you have it, I don't want it!

"You eat it," he says!

What sort of meat is it?

- Pangolin. - Right.

They make such a fuss. It's just like rabbit.

- Rabbit, but with scales? - Yes, if you like.

- It's not bad. - Yes.

Better than your cooking!

Watch what you're saying! Oh, yes!

Teasing me.

These chopsticks! I'm getting it everywhere.

It's like peeing with mittens on!

Really?

Don't dip it in there.

- Why? - It's spicy.

- I like it. - Yes, but watch out.

Your guts will be dancing the lambada,

and your hoop will be singing!

Yeah, right!

Look.

The next course.

Well?

Good?

It's good, but tough.

You have to put a lot of sauce on it.

A good dunking.

Blimey!

Are these spring rolls from last winter?

You're right, it's tough.

It's filling.

- Blimey! - Finally got it down!

Lucky you. I'm still struggling.

Christian.

They're not spring rolls.

- What are they? - Napkins.

I swallowed it.

Don't worry, it'll come out again!

There we were, eating them!

Only we could be so damn stupid.

We ate the napkins!

I don't believe it!

You wear me out.

That's pretty, and it buzzes when you switch it on.

Have you finished?

Can we go? I can't hold on much longer.

The pangolin wants to get out of lockdown.

Just a minute. I've found a nice present for Lucette.

She's taking care of our goats, after all.

What is it for? You'll have to explain.

What is it for?

Yes.

Turn it, okay?

I didn't realise, what an idiot!

It's for making mayonnaise.

Toilet.

No, wait, because I...

No, it's getting urgent.

Not right now.

There's no escape!

Do you have a toilet?

Yes, French, yes.

Malee!

The toilet attendant?

I can get some relief, then.

Thanks.

Boss, they've started.

Out you get, girls!

Hurry up!

Do what you like, but no hurting, okay?

Don't worry, it won't hurt.

No, it'll do me a world of good.

I won't keep you long, it's just...

- Where's the toilet? - There.

Thanks!

Blimey!

That damn pangolin!

Please...

Please...

just two more days,

and I'll get your money.

Your time's up.

It's too late for you.

Please...

There, that's a lot better!

That was a close call.

I nearly came a cropper there.

When I'm in that state, I could go on the Vatican's doormat.

Thanks, anyway.

For your trouble.

It's not a lot,

but it's something.

Sit down.

No, my mum must be looking for me.

So why this?

- For the toilet. - No, no.

- Isn't it enough? - Yes, is too much.

No pay for toilet.

Yes, yes.

- It's my pleasure. - Wait!

Me give you pleasure.

No, I'll get a bollocking.

You don't know my mum.

Christian!

Where's the plonker got to?

I'll have to put him on a lead.

Mister!

No, I have to go.

Have you finished already?

We didn't do it.

So what's that? He hasn't even zipped up.

I always forget.

My mum says the spuds will freeze.

But you could leave them outside all night here, they wouldn't freeze.

What did he say?

I don't understand.

That was just a tip for using the toilet.

For the toilet? All this?

Yes, I swear.

Malee, don't lie!

I swear, it was a tip.

Do you take me for a fool?

It was for her, not you. For the toilet.

Give me that!

I'll teach you not to hit women!

Don't try it, Jackie Chan!

Or I'll peel your lychees for you!

Come here!

My mum's smashing the place up.

Get away from me or I'll take you apart!

Get away from me!

Madam, stop it!

Madam!

No problem. Thanks, guys.

I not know what to do.

Cannot go back in there.

He kill me. I know him.

He's done it to other girls.

What a sorry affair!

Get ready, this'll sting a little bit.

Here.

Yes, I told you.

It's the best disinfectant. 56°-proof plum brandy.

But I use it more to disinfect my insides.

Wow, that's a rough one!

- What's your name? - Malee.

Malee. That's really pretty.

It means "jasmine blossom".

Jasmine blossom.

Don't worry, blossom. We're not going to just leave you.

We'll take you to your family. Where do you live?

My family in village far away. I all alone in Bangkok.

Look, we'll take you back to our hotel with us.

Come on, let's get moving. Give me my stick.

Come with me.

I'm not as sure as you are.

Yes, she's a real girl. You can tell.

Trust me.

You were fooled once, but you shouldn't see cupcakes everywhere.

You were right to buy these sandals.

They're really comfortable.

Yes, and they go with everything.

She's with two foreigners.

Which room is she in?

Room 4.

Where's that?

First floor.

- Maria! - What? What is it?

Must go, quick! Ping find us!

Don't worry, I'm not afraid of your Ping.

No! He with his men.

Armed, too dangerous.

Shit! Christian, get dressed and get moving!

What about brekky?

Get dressed! Move it!

I don't believe it!

Maria, quick! Come on!

Go, go, go!

This way, Christian, this way!

All this trouble!

- Quick! - I've got a cast on my leg!

Quick!

Flipping heck!

Christian, duck!

Nice shot, Mum!

I don't believe it!

- What's going on? - People in the way!

Make way!

- Slow down! - I don't know how!

We're gonna crash!

They're catching up!

When you've finished your nap give me a hand.

Banzai!

Are you okay, Christian?

I've been better.

Come back, Mum!

Clear off!

You thug!

The tuk-tuk!

Stop!

Go, Mum!

Here we go, kids!

Start!

- He's after us on a motorbike. - He's starting to annoy me.

I'll pluck him like a Christmas turkey.

It's time to get serious.

He's right here!

Get lost, you louse!

We don't like you, dickhead!

Clear off!

I can't see!

Get off, florist, or I'll deflower you!

What an idiot!

Shit!

Blimey!

Oh, no!

No, not down there, Mum.

Hold tight, clench your buttocks,

and shut your trap!

Shut up!

- I can't swim! - I don't care!

Everyone out!

- Where are we going? - In the boat. My stick!

Here.

Come on, quick!

Come on!

Christian, cast off!

- What? - The rope holding the boat.

Come on!

Shift yourself!

Come on!

- How do I get on? - I don't believe it!

Jump, before it's too late!

That's right!

Bye-bye, knobhead!

Oh, shit!

Well, Malee.

We'll take you to the police.

They can protect you.

No, not police.

Don't want to.

Police more dangerous than gangsters.

- We're up to our necks in it! - Yeah.

- Is your village really far away? - Yes, very far.

- That way. - That way?

Who cares how far? We'll go anyway.

You'll be safest there.

No, I don't want!

No arguing, sailor! For now I'm captain of the ship.

Let's go!

All together now...

We are the boys of the navy

When we're in our navy blue, we will always see it through

Everywhere, from Chile to China

From tiny port to furthest shore, from cadet to commodore...

I don't understand.

You don't seem very happy to be going home.

You don't know.

Things complicated with my family.

You know, things are complicated between me and my mum too.

Anyway, now she's decided to take you back,

she won't change her mind.

Yes.

But your mother not understand. Not easy to explain.

I not speak good French.

I wish I could speak Thai as well as you speak French.

How did you learn?

From songs. Listen to many French songs.

- Oh, right! - Céline Dion, you know?

Come on now! Who doesn't know Céline Dion?

If it was enough to love each other

If loving was enough...

I would make this world a dream

An eternity...

Oh, damn

and blast

and bugger!

That's not Céline Dion.

Are you sure we're not just out of fuel?

- No, we're not! - Okay.

I've told you fifteen times! Just shut up about that!

You're getting on my nerves.

Because, once,

my moped made exactly the same sound.

Not so loud, of course, because the engine is smaller.

But it was out of fuel.

Does your drivel never break down?

I can hear you, you know?

Oh, yes!

I need to take it apart, but I can't.

I need more tools.

Can you see a claw hammer over there?

No, but plenty of crab claws.

Now I've knackered my hands too!

That is why my grandmother raised me.

You poor little dear,

life didn't do you any favours.

Then my dream was to study in Bangkok.

But can't afford it.

Luckily, my uncle help me find job.

- Right. - I don't know

it means in tourist bar.

Then why did you stay?

Because impossible to leave.

If I do, Ping kill me.

He crazy. To him, only money important.

What a scumbag!

Secret between us.

You say nothing to my grandmother.

She die of sadness if she know I work in that bar.

She still think I am student.

Is that why you don't want to go home?

Yes, I understand.

But if your gran loves you, she'll understand too.

You must always tell the truth.

There are things in life which, if you don't say them right away,

you never say them.

Trust me.

I'm with you, dearie.

Here we go!

Over there!

Is this it, are we there?

Yes, we're there.

Damn!

- Take this, Christian. - Yes.

Good lord!

- All right. - You're safe.

So, where's your village?

- That way. - That way? Let's get marching, then!

Is it far?

With this wet plaster, I can't go any faster.

Did you say that on purpose? It's a good one.

- What? - Never mind.

Stop moaning and get moving,

slowcoach!

Honestly, what a plonker!

But, Mum...

Is this the only way to get to her village?

If you know another, you should have drawn a map.

It's a hell of a long way.

Make the most of it.

- Are you with us? - Yes, yes.

And you wanted to go on that survivor reality show.

Yes, but I wouldn't have had a plaster cast on that.

Shut up or I'll put you down.

I'll shut up, but I do have a plaster cast.

There's a track here.

Here we go!

If I was on my old moped, I'd have overtaken already.

It's like on little roads back home.

You always get stuck behind juggernauts.

Blimey, they've got big bums!

You're right there! Your Claudine's was tiny in comparison.

Too true!

Malee!

Malee!

Aren't reunions lovely?

I don't know, Mum.

As you've never let me leave,

we've never had the chance to be reunited.

- Come on, let's say goodbye. - Yeah.

Hello, my friends.

Yannick Noah.

Well, as we say, hello and goodbye.

We won't bother you any longer.

You have a lot to tell your grandmother.

No, you stay.

They don't want to bother us.

No, you're our guests.

You brought my granddaughter home.

We will give you the welcome you deserve.

- What did she say? - You stay. She insists.

You're our guests.

That's so nice.

For a bit, then. Eh, Christian?

But not too long.

It's not our home, after all.

But you can't refuse. Look how lovely they are.

We really are in the land of the smile, Christian.

Say thank you, Christian.

Barracuda.

Hey, Christian.

Christian, yes, that's right.

Me?

Take it easy.

I'll go looking for your heart

If you take it away

Even as you dance

Others dance for hours

I'll go looking for your soul

In ice and in fire

I'll cast spells on you

So that you'll love me still

I'll find the words

To sing your praise

I'll pack our bags

And we'll roam all our days...

Bravo!

Bravo, dearie!

Your turn, Christian.

No.

- Come on! - Everyone takes a turn.

Christian, a song!

Christian, a song!

No, but...

I said no!

I said no!

Benjamin Pavard

I don't think you know him

He came from nowhere and scored that goal

We've got Benjamin Pavard!

That's good, Christian. But louder.

Benjamin Pavard

I don't think you know him

He came from nowhere and scored that goal

We've got Benjamin Pavard!

That's good.

That's good, Christian!

I didn't understand much of that, but if you say so it must be true.

Old pal!

I just can't remember your name.

What is it again?

Do you mind if I call you King Kong?

It's easier.

Seeing as you're practically as big as him...

- King Kong? - Yes. Christian, King Kong.

- Christian. - Right.

- King Kong. - Here's to you!

To you!

Do you understand?

Yes, I understand a little bit.

It's beautiful.

It's Buddha!

- Mousline? - Yes, Mou...

Mousline is a brand of mashed potato. Well, it's fake mash, in flakes...

Forget it, it's not important.

I was telling you that Ping...

Well...

Once we were on the boat,

Ping was pretty much ponged!

Yeah.

You think you've seen it all, but then it hits you without warning.

When you're starving and about to die,

it's then that you find a rabbit pie!

Rabbit pie?

Yes, rabbit pie.

You big silly!

You're a very hospitable people.

It's true.

And always smiling.

There's none of that back home any more.

People scowl more and more.

They should come here and take lessons.

You know, it's...

You have nothing here, yet you give it all.

Back home, people have everything, but they give nothing.

Not even a smile.

Yeah.

Benjamin Pavard...

Are you asleep, Mum?

Hey, are you asleep?

I don't know if you're asleep.

Are you or not?

You win! I'm not asleep now.

Sorry, did I wake you?

Yes, because I was asleep!

Sorry.

What is it?

No, it's... it's because...

I had something important to tell you, but...

never mind, we'll talk about it tomorrow.

No! Now you've woken me up.

No, it doesn't matter.

Go on!

No, the mood doesn't feel right.

Come on, out with it! Do you need an epidural?

No, it's okay. Anyway, I've forgotten what it was now.

What a pain!

That's it, I remember.

Good.

It's because I...

I always mix up tsunami and surimi.

Silly, eh?

Hang on.

Is that why you woke me up?

That was your "something important"?

Yeah.

You're a sandwich short of a picnic!

Yes, I take my hat off to you.

Now please go to sleep.

Maybe asleep you'll be a bit less stupid.

Mum!

What?

I'm right behind you.

They're going to wash them.

Christian!

Come here!

Come on!

I can't, I have my plaster cast.

Come on, Christian!

- I can't. - Go on, get in!

Make the most of it.

At least go for a paddle.

It's not like you do it every day.

And get washed while you're at it.

You stink!

Come and play with us.

I'd love to, but...

Come on!

I can't, not with this plaster cast.

It's a damn nuisance!

- What's his name? - Kita.

Kita? Are you all right, Kita?

They're a lovely family.

Yes.

And the big one there?

Sit! Sit, Kita.

Sit.

That's very good, Kita, you're sitting down.

That's it.

Very good.

Blimey! You see that, Mum?

You could have it as a pet, like a dog.

The kennel would be a problem, though.

Yeah, you've got a point there.

Blimey!

Now that you're soaked you might as well go in.

I keep telling you, my plaster cast!

He's getting on my tits with his plaster cast.

I'll soon sort him out.

What are you doing?

I've had enough of this.

No, but...

Don't worry, I'm driving!

Spoiling our holiday with your plaster cast!

- What are you doing? - Put your best foot forward!

There, now we can relax!

Are you insane?

There!

Look at that.

So, the way you showed me...

You find that funny, do you?

It's not that easy.

Let's go.

Tiring, isn't it?

That's good. It's like Ali Baba's cave here.

That's just what I need.

All right, Zizou?

What do you want?

Where are you taking me? Okay, I'll come with you.

Hello, Ping?

She's come back.

I feel you may be after her.

Call me back.

You seem a lot better.

- Is it that obvious? - Yes.

You've taken to rubbing your papayas again,

like you used to.

That's a good sign.

- Little Malee, how are you? - Good.

This is good timing, Malee. Something's bothering me.

What does this mean?

That means: "She's come back."

"She's come back." Okay.

What is this for?

It's a surprise.

Made in Bodin.

Come on!

Come on.

Give it full gas!

- How's that? - Perfect!

That's great!

How's that for a job well done?

And, my friends, I'll make another machine to can the pineapples!

A leg?

And then?

Right, got you.

Okay, I think I've got it.

It's slippery.

I've got it!

Come on, Zizou.

We'll try to find out what he's up to.

Don't make any noise.

Give me the magic wand.

What have you found? Let me see.

You're right, the uncle's dodgy.

Malee, wake up.

We have to go, quickly.

It's dangerous here.

Someone in your family means you harm.

Not true.

Here everyone nice to me.

No, your uncle's a traitor.

But he's nice, he find me work in Bangkok.

No, he didn't find you work, he sold you to Ping.

It's not possible.

You wrong. Let me sleep, Maria.

How do you think your uncle could afford his big car?

With your body, my girl!

Not with pineapples.

Look.

You see? He knows Ping.

I heard him call him yesterday. I have a bad feeling about this.

Come on, quick!

Hurry!

It's them, I told you.

Keep out of it, Maria, it's me they want.

It's his fault!

He told them!

Let her go!

Leave her alone!

Let her go, you bastards!

What's going on, Malee?

Don't worry about it, I'll be back.

What are they doing?

Dickhead!

Let them go!

You don't have much luck with rope.

It's either too long or too short.

We're up to our necks in it now!

Let's go!

Malee!

Malee!

What did you do?

What are you talking about?

They're making Malee work in a tourist bar.

You stole her youth!

You shattered our love!

You destroyed her dreams!

You're talking nonsense.

What have those bastards done to you?

I refused to go back to the bar with the other girls.

I die first.

You should be ashamed of yourself, you scumbag.

What did he say?

He will put you in the ring

with bad man.

No one ever comes out alive.

We're not going to die, are we, Mum?

Isn't that what you wanted?

Are you asleep, Mum?

- Are you asleep? - Of course not, how could I sleep?

Because I've got something really important to ask you.

Here he goes again!

- You think this is the time? - Yes.

It'll be too late afterwards, so...

What is it that...

you'll miss the most?

Going fishing together, son.

In your dad's old boat.

On the lake, nice and early,

before the mist has all cleared.

It's always worth the wait.

Because behind the mist there's always sunshine.

Don't worry, son, I'll see you later.

I'm going to get you, you can count on that.

No, I don't want to!

Please!

Help! Please!

Christian, be brave!

You can take him, he's just fat.

Yeah, well, it's not that easy.

Go on!

That's it, you'll get him!

Go on!

You've got him, don't let go!

The pig move!

The pig move!

Yes, what a champion!

That was great, my boy!

Watch out, he's getting up!

- Behind you! - I can't hear you.

Watch out!

Bastard! Scumbag!

Dangerous scumbag!

Kill them, King Kong, kill them!

Nice one, Zizou!

Now for us, Ping.

I'll fight you tooth and nail, with just my one tooth!

You moron!

Ping!

Just a sec.

Well played, Mum!

Well, well!

I'm so proud of you.

So, shall we go and can those pineapples?

- Come on. - Wait for me, Mum.

I'll see if there are any tuk-tuks around.

No, not a tuk-tuk.

Pineapple machine.

Great!

That's it, you've...

you've even added a photo.

Great!

A present of little mandarines?

We're going to have a feast.

Thank you.

See you soon.

See you...

My dear girl.

We'll come again.

You come and see us too. Do you promise?

Stay beautiful, especially in your heart.

Thank you.

My dear friend.

You'll outlive me by a long way, fit as you are.

We'll write.

We're of the generation that still writes letters.

Come on.

- Come on, Christian. - That was quick!

Thank you.

Goodbye!

- Goodbye! - Goodbye, my friends!

And don't forget,

follow your dreams all the way!

I promise!

Goodbye, my friends!

We'll never forget you!

Do you know what we'll do, Christian?

- We'll have a drink. - Good idea.

We deserve it.

How nice is this, eh?

- It's nice. - Let's drink to your dad.

To you, Raymond! We're thinking of you.

Mum!

Your line.

- What? - Your line.

Yes! Blimey, yes! Hold my glass.

Quickly, take it! That's a big one.

Blimey, what a whopper!

The net, Christian, where's the net?

- It's here. - Get it, then!

Stop dancing, you'll capsize us!

Hip hip hooray!

Not now! The net, Christian, quick!

Be careful!

Sorry.

What are you waiting for? In the water with it!

In the water with it!

- Are you sure? - Yes!

What have you done, you idiot?

I've chucked the net in the water, like you told me.

But I think we need it.

I don't believe it! You have the IQ of a coypu!

What?

The idiot chucked it in the water!

It's your fault, you told me to throw it in.

I didn't! I said: "In the water with it."

But not the whole thing, you idiot!

Just the end, to lift out the carp.

Then you should have said:

"Put the end of the net in the water, to lift out the carp."

Put a sock in it! Please put a sock in it!

Or it's you who'll end up in the water!

- No, but... - Give me a break!

I need that net.

There's only one like you in the entire universe,

and I get lumbered with you!

Subtitles by Howard Bonsor

Subtitling: Eclair Digital Services