Original subtitles

[Music]

there's a once a

night when your spirits take light and

Love Takes

control of your

heart people you meet in the stores and

the street catch the magic and all play

aart It's the of

Christmas a wondrous Time When Love is

the

reason and love is the

rhyme the eve of Christmas when spirits

take

flight that once a year

night

before that once a

year Christmas

[Music]

day it's a magical

sight when the world dresses White and

the air becomes rare and so

still cynics and fools break their own

rigid rules to be women and men of Good

Will on the eve of

Christmas a wondrous time

When Love is the

reason and love is the

rhyme the eve of Christmas when spirits

take flight that once a year

night before

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

St

[Music]

[Music]

Jo

[Music]

[Music]

Merry Christmas sir you're not Harry

where's Harry the senator gave Harry the

day off to spend with his family Mr

Travis he didn't think you'd mind no no

that's fine it's fine um let's go I want

to get the appletons Appleton oh the toy

store yes yes

sir it's nothing like New York on

Christmas Eve the real Christmas spirit

I wonder if we'll get some snow that's

all we need for a perfect Christmas I

mean you know I like that aant store a

lot but the toys they have there I I

like to stay there for hours and hours

mhm Christmas is really for children

isn't it look I have work to do if you

don't mind oh I'm I'm sorry sir I I get

carried away when I get started I can't

stop you know it being Christmas and

all uhoh they're beeping at Christmas

time give me uh 269 9970 please they

wouldn't be calling me if it wasn't

important yes Miss fora uh

yeah just just tell the senator not to

worry I'm working on it right now he'll

have it in plenty of time thank you

byebye it must be very exciting for you

involved the way you are with the

highest echelons of look I have work to

do with yes

[Music]

sir here we are sir

uh no it's all right here's a $100 bill

go inside and get whatever looks

good you want me to shop for you you

said you could spend hours in there my

son is 5 years old he likes uh robots

football whatever kids like get uh use

your imagination but it's just that it

won't be like the presents are coming

from you I'll deliver them you'll

know yes sir you know I I just

remembered one Christmas

I was about 5 years old I guess my

father went out and rented one of those

Santa Claus outfits you know oh and I

saw that I was so absolutely overwhelmed

I forgot all about the presence you know

Santa Claus in the house I kind of knew

it was my old man you know but Sanda

right well it was a thrill well I'll

tell you I never forgot it it's getting

late

yes that's not your bucket B

Edward my boy you are a resplendant

sight the very essence of the U tide

Spirit Stan where you been man I looked

for you over on your church you wasn't

there Christmas Eve I thought I'd sleep

in sleep in before beginning my rounds

of the Treasure Trove trash of 32nd

Street man come here you are in deep

trouble you are in deep no W help li no

cares to trou me stand baby skin

Brewster and Bruno bet are looking for

you you have me at a disadvantage sir

Stan will you stop working for a minute

and listen to me they are after you I'm

not acquainted with the gentleman Stan

they ain't no gentlemen these are some

bad dudes and they out to get you why

would anyone want to get me I'm a man of

Peace because you got their peace that

gun you found yesterday that's the gun

they use while holding up that bank on

Second Avenue ah yes the president of

the bank was wounded in the finger while

making its annual Christmas address to

his employees right right well the

police got the bullet they can tras it

to your gun man my gun it's not my gun I

found it in the garbage can where baby

skin and Bruno dumped it and now they

going to dump you permanent Stan

permanent I'll surrender the gun Stan

you got to get out of town promptu man

they searching for you right now where

am I going to go I don't know the

further the better California La San fr

Francisco San Francisco indeed a man

could start a whole new life there I

could open a new place Stan you ain't

listening to me wait a minute a new

place you want to go in with me I don't

know nothing about that I'll teach you

come on let's go Stanley we ain't got a

quarter between us to get off this

island you got to go now you got a gimy

full a quarters within your reach Dear

Sir this is for charity stand oh what

charity Mor needy than ours dear friend

your life is going nowhere mine is in

Peril I suggest we seize the proceeds

and

please hey you what's going on there uh

uh nothing officer everything's cool we

just have a little chat you okay Santa

yes sir what are you doing here just

passing through you know we don't want

no pan handling in this area yes sir you

wouldn't be making me run you in would

you on a Christmas Eve like no sir oh

that's a good lad look if you're really

strapped why don't you try and get

yourself one of them Santa jobs you look

good in the S and you might earn

yourself a good Christmas

dinner good idea thank you officer Merry

Christmas same to you

officer Stan great idea dress up like

Santa Claus no way baby skin and Bruno

can spot you yeah not for today anyway

and then uh

I can visit one of my well-to-do clients

on 33rd

Street come up with a wherewithal for an

extended

Journey maybe the

dates and they got the best trash on the

Block Eddie where can I get one of those

outfits they got costume stores all over

there's one up the street I never even

noticed

before yeah well you're a good pal Eddie

thank you yeah will you be

[Music]

careful good

[Music]

good morning may I show you something

sir oh not really I'm just looking I was

thinking maybe a

ring something for Christmas or

something else well I guess

both so may I see that one

please it's a lovely Stone I proposed to

my wife onas Christmas Eve it's worked

out very well really it's not very big

is it well it's not the Hope Diamond but

then again this one has no curse on it

well I'm not sure really can I show you

something other well I'm not even sure I

can afford this one anyway it's the girl

I'm worried about ah she may say no oh

she'll probably say no if I ever get up

enough nerve to ask her may I ask you a

question sir are you regularly employed

uh yes I teach High School mathematics

Einstein Newton cernus gaus it's not

terribly exciting may I suggest since

you have a job that you take this ring

on

consignment it doesn't work out with dis

returner oh no no no no I couldn't do

that oh please I insist no it would be

an imposition on you I'm sure no

business has been so good this year let

me do this you know it being Christmas

and all well thank you very much that's

very kind of you I I really appreciate

it good I'll wrap it

up yeah wrap it

up

problem well now all I have to do is

propose that could be a problem you

won't believe this but it took me

forever to pop the question no kidding

really well I was in agony for months

every time I wanted to tell her how I

felt about her I choked up I couldn't

say it yeah that's exactly the way it is

with me yeah I was crazy about it but

when it came to those three little words

I love you that's right I I I well I I

was tongue t time that's all but you did

finally propose oh yes we have six

children well uh how did you finally

well I I decided that I I knew I

couldn't propose so I I got someone else

to you mean like John Alden not exactly

I did it but not as

myself I beg your pardon well I went out

and rented a cowboy outfit you know

boots spurs Shacks red bandana 10 gon

Hat B black mustache that it no more

problems a cowboy outfit

yeah no I'd look silly well I looked

silly but it it

worked yeah well

maybe maybe I could find some other kind

of costume oh pirate that's a good one

patch over one eye you know no I'm I'm

not the Macho type I think you need

something more

gentle since it's

Christmas Santa Claus

that's certainly seasonal

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

life this is costing me valuable time I

hope this custom idea of yours works oh

it'll be memorable I hope

[Music]

so

alarming

hello oh

great yes gentlemen may I help you I

want to rent a Santa Claus suit yes

that's exactly what I oh yes I'd like

one too please certainly gentl I'd be

very happy to help you would it be

possible if this if you don't mind I'm

in a terrible Hur just a minute I'm a

senator Warren anything you care who

you're with I don't have time I assure

you dear sir it's a matter of life and

death I I believe this gentleman was

first then first he shall be don't worry

we'll find what you need thanks again

I'll see you tonight oh uh everything is

going to be just fine I'm going to give

your idea a whir cross your fingers

Merry

Christmas this way please

so you want Santa Claus to

eh now let me

see what size please oh any size just

hurry it up will you

please better Christmas cheer huh yeah

forgive me for not offering you some I'm

running a bit low oh it's quite all

right may I have your coat please oh

thanks I really need a new coat this

one's somewhat a family heirloom hard to

part with standing

oh sorry I didn't mean

to protection you know how things are in

the streets these days yes yes yes

there's your suit sir right in there if

you will I'd like to inquire uh what is

the rental

charge um

$30 and speaking of which uh I wish you

would do me a favor I prefer payment

after the first of the year if you don't

mind not at all I quite stand taxes each

to his own design it has ever been thus

forgive me for mentioning it but you're

very well spoken for a man in your

circumstances circumstances you mean

being a bum well you're right wasn't

always this way well I don't mean to be

nosy or anything like that no let me

tell the story it's an interesting one I

was once major doel of one of New York's

finest restaurants the New Amsterdam the

New Amsterdam I knew it well the sweet

bread financier were

fabulous my recipe but you really

remember I certainly

do what am I doing here like this a bum

oh you need an explainer success I

couldn't handle

success failure well that that's a snap

I've been handling failure with no

problem at all for the past 10

years but when I had that restaurant it

started with all the fancy wines

well not such an interesting story maybe

someday another

restaurant it's

funny I have a friend he wants me to go

to San Francisco with him open a new

place be like the old

days all I need is some

Capital well how do I look think I'll

get away with this behold anybody can do

Santa Claus palal palal this will give

it a very rich

touch I look like a thousand other guys

dressed up like Santa Claus it conceals

your identity very effectively

good and I'll wear

it of course it won't change your

character what a costume won't change a

good person into a bad person or a bad

person into a good person sir you're an

incredibly profound philosopher

remember it is better to give it than to

get

it save your city just $1 for the big

appone New York needs

you Merry Christmas Eddie okay

Eddie

talk how' you recognize me in my Santa

Claus

suit where is he Eddie where's your pal

St pal

St got no pal St ho ho ho boy you look

great sure anybody can look like Santa

Claus that's right merry Christmas I'm

running out of time I understand if you

please uh uh oh yes thank you very much

good and a FES of youel to you sir

[Music]

hey hey what are you

doing what let me hey cook no what are

you doing but are you putting your

fingers in the foring but are you crazy

what are you yeah wait a minute don't

put the fingers

cook cook well look who's here Santa

Claus is here yeah well what can we do

for you here Santa Claus yeah well uh

what I want is for all the starving kids

in the neighborhood is like a couple of

dozen turkeys with all the stuffing and

so forth and maybe some dessert you a

plum ping whatever you got that's all

you want such close only two dozen

turkeys and stuffed pudding and

stuffings that's all well I know you can

afford it so don't give me any

trouble wait wait S I don't want to

disappoint you but we can't afford two

do turkeys on Plum Pudding you don't

recognize me do you yeah of course I

recognize you the whole world knows you

you are St Nicholas

still turning B oh turning bom oh

Stanley in person you didn't know who I

was did you Stanley but are you doing

here how are you couldn't be better how

are you old yeah ah

fine I haven't seen you in

years I heard you was um you heard

correctly yeah good to see you old

friend yeah good to see

you you really didn't recognize me N I

had no idea I thought you a funny little

Santa Claus person good good happy

holidays dear friend yeah happy holidays

to where you going wait a minute D you

want a little something can I help you

yeah no thanks no

I'll be fine

yeah Goodbye old

[Music]

friends I really think this is going to

look foolish not at all you look very

christmy well I feel foolish I don't

think this is going to work let's try on

the beard

now this is none of my business but uh

I'm curious is is this for a Christmas

party or for your children uh why do I

have the feeling there neither of those

is it ches

leam uh well yes you see I teach math

High School Einstein Newton cernus and

gaus ah gaus quite underrated you know

and yet his work in calculating the

orbits of the asteroids was absolutely

phenomenal huh you you mean you know

about gal oh certainly certain brilliant

mine exciting most exciting oh yes well

he's exciting to us but if you were a

beautiful young fashion model whose life

was discos the Jet Set caviar and

champagne would would you marry a math

teacher it's hard for me to answer that

I've never been a fashion model who's

been proposed to by a math teacher you

know you look familiar so I've been told

ah there we

are I can't believe that this is going

to work

well that's not half bad if I do say so

myself did you hear that hear what my

voice sounds different now that you

mention it yes very firm commanding

great Authority but jeweler was right

this feels good Jeweler yes that's where

I got the engagement ring ah you're

proposing to the beautiful young fashion

model yes Polly she's been my neighbor

for over a year then this won't come as

a total surprise to her you've discussed

your feelings we've discussed everything

but we're really just Pals you know uh

she says I'm her best friend she can

talk to me about anything I understand

that's becoming very important in a

relationship well maybe but look it's

just talk I mean the whole thing is

ridiculous she'll she'll never marry

somebody like me Einstein Newton cernus

and don't forget gaus ah gaus it was he

who proved the fundamental theorem of

algebra say you know you're really

terrific you know

something I mean I wonder if I can make

her understand that in my own way I'm

just as important as rod sandburn rod

sandborn is he

important I'll say I'll never be a

millionaire I'll never own a private jet

or a palaso in Spain or polar ponies I

must tell you it does sound interesting

I've had some good times in Spain myself

so but he's a terrible man isn't he just

another empty-headed Playboy no no you

see that's the worst of it he he's

really not a bad guy I mean he couldn't

be not if Pie's in not if she's

interested in him I don't have a chance

I'm not sure if pully is the Paragon you

claim she is how can she fail to

recognize your worth what worth you

teach you give the young the wonderful

gift of learning that's an evergreen

gift Einstein Newton cernus and G and

Gus you are

important tell me about Pary she's

nice

nice she's the most incredible woman in

New York

[Music]

City at last the most beautiful lady in

New York City

you have a new convertible sure I have a

different one for every occasion from my

skateboard to the company jet oh well

what's this one for oh harness racing

crossing the Rockies and uh a matter

most

serious

oh is it too cold for you I can put the

to up fine thank you driver tally

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

ho you sure do come up with some

surprises Ross Take around kiddo the

world's full of surprises and they're

all for

you almost almost cold enough the snow

isn't it paie it's a wonderful day for a

ride in the park

paie paie the time has come oh R we're

having so much fun why spoil it getting

married doesn't mean the fun has to stop

you sure sure I'm sure I know at least

two or three married people who are

having fun listen paie I'm about you and

I think you're terrific so what are we

waiting

for I don't know listen kid it's now or

never what do you mean I mean well look

I don't want to put the pressure on you

but I can't keep waiting you know we

could go on like this for years so

what's wrong with that uh too big of a

chance someone else might come along

someone even more Charming than me

that's impossible that's I know it

sounds a little far-fetched but it might

just happen

Rod come on no Paulie it's either yes or

no I mean it oh

Rod no girl could ask for a more

romantic proposal than riding around in

Central Park and a horse and carriage on

Christmas

Eve but I I really need more

time please understand I understand and

you've got it till

tonight tonight rod

you can't be

serious that's exactly what I am serious

tonight okay and then it's off to nassa

for our

honeymoon okay I'll let you know

tonight well here goes nothing but

thanks again wish me luck and Merry

Christmas same to you

[Music]

oh I'm so sorry will you please uh step

this way

yes what's wrong it doesn't seem quite

right it's fine it's fine really I I'm

in a hurry you mentioned that trousers

are not too tight no the trousers are

not too tight look do you mind you said

you work with Senator Warren yes I'm his

chief Aid he's done a wonderful job I

tell him you said that please do well

you're really satis I'm really satisfied

well then let's go find a beard no well

wait a minute that won't be necessary I

don't need a beard Please Mr uh I didn't

get your name Travis Gilbert Travis oh

Mr Travis without a beard you simply do

not look like Santa Claus I don't have

time to wait for a beard I'm sorry I

take enormous pride in my work sir I

will not allow an incomplete Santa Claus

out of my shop I will not tell anybody

that I got the suit here all right it's

not what others may think it's what I

think I can't let you have the suit fine

give me the beard I don't believe this

what was that oh it's my office calling

I'm sorry oh my my how interesting what

will they think of next yes 269 9970

please hurry won't you yes Miss bide

yes oh yes yes I uh I know what the

senator wants just tell him that I U

tell him that I will compare his

campaign to the Battle of Bull Run

that'll make him happy the Battle of

Bull Run the beard the beard the beard

yeah tell them I'll get it in the speech

I'll get it in there miss fory don't you

worry about it

oh I'm afraid these are just all too

skimpy I'll just have to make you a

special one for yourself I don't have

time to wait for the beard it won't take

that long I grow them very fast right

here in the shop no no no no you don't

understand you see I have to get a

speech to the senator Uptown and then I

have to go cross town to my hotel take a

shower and change into the suit and then

I have to go all the way downtown to

give my son his Christmas presents and

then I have to go all the way out to the

Senator's house for dinner I can deliver

the beard to your hotel

could you be there by quter to 5 I'll do

the best I can now you wouldn't want

your son to see you with a skimpy beard

all right all right please please don't

be

late he must be quite pleased with you

the senator oh yes we get along fine I

mean your

[Music]

son har

what are you doing guess what that is I

can't imagine something fierce though I

bet it's a bail when I went to the zoo

with Daddy he taught me how to grow like

a bill he's fun yeah he is I miss Daddy

I do too but we'll see him tonight hey

jry Mrs G one a do Merry Christmas

Angelo Merry Christmas Angie I can't

wait till it's s

after we get finished putting away the

groceries you going to go out front and

play for a little

while daddy thinking about us sure he is

he always does and is he really coming

tonight of course he will he promise he

promise thanks be anything come your dad

will be here you'll

[Music]

see we're going up

[Music]

Angie I'll go along for the ride I need

the exercise I got to go out and get

some more Christmas salami boy our plays

a jam the whole family and do they put

away the

salami hey Terry you want to come with

me it's okay honey I'll put the

groceries away you go ahe with man if

you want

to no my daddy's coming

tonight well if your old man don't you

up come on dad and hang out with

us you'll be

here he promise

me be

[Music]

here Dr

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

that music Thrills me on a show when

they go say they beat it

fast or slow when the Sun out the go out

people and they

all

hey

mississipp

Mississippi

Lord keep CL hand just as Happ as

chewing

[Applause]

miss you remember the first time we did

that nothing oh I sure do Pittsburgh

Pennsylvania the Nixon theater that's

right we were a smash well you still are

if I may say so a thank you Chandler we

were old Fred and ginger but we got

along that's not your present that's my

present you nerd don't call me a nerd

you dumb turkey I don't want that

present anyway it's too small good I

know they're my own grandchildren but I

could strangle them maybe after the

holidays well they they they just miss

their parents I don't miss them and it's

our own daughter and son-in-law Dora

where did we go wrong too much money I

guess we spoiled them imagine leaving

their kids alone on Christmas only for

reasons of Health our daughter was

losing her tan when that arsenal of toys

they gave them rifles machine guns tanks

everything except the Commission in the

Army you stepped on my tank you stepped

on my tank I'm going to suck you yeah

one more move and it'll be your last

turkey KS what happened to the Christmas

spirit she stepped on my tank I'm going

to deck her oh yeah you and what army oh

shut up the both of you B here you a

pair of weird

grandchildren look you've opened all

your presents you're not supposed to do

that until Christmas morning oh that's a

lot of oldfashioned baloney now don't

you talk to your grandma like that

Chandler Chandler who was that at the

door uh Madam well

it's uh Santa Claus yeah it's Santa

Claus George Washington and the New York

Met and I was expecting the Tooth Fairy

you know what I'll bet Jack and Estelle

arranged this before they went to

Bermuda well maybe they're not so bad

after all Chand let him in yes

sir welcome sir to oh good Heavens she's

got a gun may I come in

[Music]

Bobby come here where you going hi Bob

come here

here hello Polly hi hi Rod hello

Professor Merry Christmas oh thank you

same to you I hope it's a good one well

if things work out the way it's plans

could be the greatest what that screw

straightened out anyway old buddy how's

it with you I'm fine yeah you still at

it uh Einstein Newton cernus what's his

name g g yes I'm still at it kids giving

you any trouble I understand those

schools are like Jungles today uh no uh

Rod I'm really fine take care of

yourself you here

see you

tonight bye yeah uh

Mary finish your Christmas shopping uh

finally every year I promise myself yeah

I know me too can I uh I'll get oh gee I

can't get them both could you uh here

thanks yeah

well Rod seems fine uh yes he's very

well I suppose you and Rod will be going

out to some disco tonight huh with

artists and show people political

officials no no I'm working

tonight you're working on Christmas Eve

P yeah it's the fashion show at Macy's

the last minute multi-millionaire

Shopper who's got to pick up a couple,

gowns for his wife or whoever yeah when

do you have to leave leave oh not for an

hour

oh how about you H well I'll be all

right I I'll watch television read I

have some papers I have to correct we

had a we had a really important test was

very

important Hey listen uh Polly maybe

after work I could pick you up we could

have a snack over at jepp huh oh that

would be nice but Rod's picking me up oh

but we had a real good time there once

remember you told me just how to handle

my mother yeah well I

try Merry Christmas mer

Chistmas I'm sorry Senator he seems to

be running a little late yes of course

sir I'll have him call you the minute he

gets in oh just a minute sir here he is

now

good afternoon Senator yes sir I made

the changes and I think you're going to

like them oh and the analogy to the

Battle of Bull Run that worked out

perfectly I'll be there how's it

going I I thought he'd come around I'll

see you around 6:30 bye any calls Miss

foresight but nothing that critical good

uh you better remember to call Judge

burnson he's leaving for NASA oh hey

son's going to be very

happy I hope so did you have time to get

anything for your

wife oh forgive me sir but there is a

gift shop in the lobby right right thank

you and get me judge

burnson Now ladies and gentlemen we have

nothing to fear but fear itself my stay

here will be a brief one okay fella what

are you after the wherewith all dear sir

ah a small libation before we start I do

believe we're about to be ripped off I

think it's just disgusting robbing us

while you're in a Santa Claus suit not

my choice

Madam now I must warn you I'm a crack

shot no false moves Santa Claus is a

boozer close your mouth you want him to

shoot you yeah give it to him

[Music]

Santa what is this awful stuff that's

20-year-old Scott you can't get any

better well you see my taste buds have

suffered because of rotgut

now if you will forgive me please empty

your

pockets this is just alone I assure you

I'm not a criminal merely a victim of

circumstances as soon as I get over this

temporary

laps watch everybody stay Cal stay take

take he's unconscious sir she like call

the police

[Music]

well Polly tell old Santa Claus have you

been a good little girl all year long

you have but my elves tell me that

you've been hanging around with that

terrible Rod

sandborn hello yes who is it Polly Polly

uh Polly uh just just a minute I'll stay

there Polly I'll be right to I'll I'll

I'll be there in a

minute I'm

coming I just have to uh

[Applause]

get

[Music]

something P I'm I'll be right there I'm

uh here I am hi I'm sorry to keep you

waiting Polly I was on the telephone

talking to a friend a friend uh Bob have

you got a minute oh sure come on

in oh Bob how pretty an

evergreen yeah it was given to me by one

of my students last week when he made it

into college must be a good feeling Bob

doing what you do huh somebody said

that Polly what's the

matter um B I need your advice sure P

come on in just

please well I guess the best way to say

it is to say it say it okay I'll say it

say it rod wants to marry me don't say

it don't say what rod wants to marry me

you well see I have to give him an

answer tonight tonight uh oh I see then

you haven't accepted yet no no you see

uh I wanted to talk to you about it

first you're always so sensible you got

your feet on the ground well I try to be

have

uh well should

I pa you mean if if I said you shouldn't

marry Rod you wouldn't well I would

certainly take into consideration what

you had to say you mean if I said that

uh he wasn't good enough for you that

he's just a Playboy you deserve better

you you wouldn't marry him uh is that

what you're

saying no no no I wouldn't say that

uh you want to marry him

I I don't know I mean I know I want to

be

married oh you do

yes and Rod is uh fun and we do have

good times

together and he's Rich yeah well he has

more money than I'll ever be able to

spend and he's kind and he's gentle I

know I like

him well should I marry him look ply I

don't I don't know what to say say

something well if you did marry him

would that mean that you'd move out of

your apartment of

course well I'd miss you

Polly thanks

[Music]

Bob I guess I wasn't much help huh oh

well uh I mean it was unfair of me to

ask I mean getting married is a big

step even these days are you going to do

it well nobody else has asked

me yeah I

[Music]

know Merry Christmas oh same to you and

many more of them

[Music]

o Miss foresight have you found that

costume shop yet I have got to get out

of here ah thank you operator phone

company doesn't have a listing for the

costume shop that's wonderful that's

just wonderful it's almost 5:00 that'll

give me about 2 minutes to spend with my

son I can always call the senator and

tell him you'll be a little late no I

cannot be late to the Senator's dinner

oh yes

sir well I can't wait anymore I'll just

tell him that Santa Claus had to shave

off his beard because he's got a skin

Rass oh sure I'll buy that story we all

of us have our Dermatological problems

from time to

time well uh Merry Christmas miss

foresight Merry Christmas to you I have

your beard you said quarter to five I

said I do what I could that's right

right we just make it sppy all right if

you don't yes sir come on come on come

on

please will you please yes sir yes sir

come on Merry

Christmas right in here thanks any place

at all all right oh what what oh would

you please uh just stand up there for me

table oh thank you oh yes tell me

exactly what does the chief aid for a

senator do everything I write speeches I

manage the campaign for re-election

whatever you actually write his speeches

yes yes you're Gilbert Travis yes the

Gilbert Travis who who wrote In the

Beginning was the

man you read my novel oh yes one of the

happy few very interesting and

provocative now we're getting there no

no now we're getting out of here no I

beg just a moment please how about the

shop in the lobby no I have to leave let

me have that he needs combing well will

you comb it on the way please yes I'll

dok you sir then you must stop at the

shop in the lobby I haven't got time if

you don't mind I am in a hurry remember

I we

need I'll admit I was somewhat puzzled

by the character motivation what are you

talking about well Melinda for example

um I could never quite fully believe

that she would run off with her

husband's best friend it's the only

thing she could do to save herself her

husband ignored her his best friend was

the only one that would listen to her

sympathize with there but at best their

emotional Affinity was dubious is that a

fact well it just so happens that I just

quing don't pay any attention to me it

was an admirable piece of work and I

waited for your next book well you can

keep on with

you gave up writing writing novels I had

a choice writing novels that nobody

bought or eating aha look at that you

know if I were the suspicious type I'd

say you were trying to make me late give

me

that why now why would I do that Mr

[Music]

Travis I'm telling you you guys are

making a big mistake just keep moving

ddie buy a hot dog help an orphan hey

Bruno buy me a hot

dog why should I buy your HG because I'm

an offer is that my fault Bruno why do I

always got to argue with you why can't

you just do it'll pay for it anyway

thany

you hot dog officer officer help these

two big dudes are after me you're the

finest do your finest here they come

jogging

jogging lost 100

lb thank you Merry

[Music]

Christmas delightful

people which way did he go which way did

he

go there he is

right come on

Bruno uh just a minute my hey buddy no

disrespect but I ain't got time to talk

okay we kind of lost you in the crowd

excuse me fellas I must

know where did you get that

suit is a no costum company up on

Lexington Avenue it isn't right it it it

simply isn't you hey hey what's going on

come on please I I have a little shop of

my own not far from here I'd be

delighted to make a few adjustments in

that suit you don't mind oh yeah that's

a good idea

yeah thanks ma but we haven't got time

for that I know you're in a hurry but it

isn't that far away there'll be no

charge and it just hurts me it really

does fellas to see a sloy Santa

Claus I don't like it either this go

this way ye maybe next

[Music]

yearry you a Merry Christmas we wish you

a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

good tidings to you whever you are good

tidings for Christmas and happy

new you think we ought to call the

doctor he's been out cold for an hour I

say we call the cops dirty crook I hate

to agree with this turkey but he was

going to shoot us he should lock him up

and throw away the key he's coming

around I don't think he's your regular

crook he just looks like a plain old

panhandler to me hey did anybody see his

gun hey hey fella not now you just relax

everything is going to be all right what

happened a little too much to drink and

not enough to

eat what's what's that

scent I took the liberty of washing you

sir you stink he you you kids are really

rotten uh soup sir cream of mushroom

cops are on their way huh cops Johns I'm

on my way to incarceration espa oh we

didn't call the cops you relax

yeah oh I see you're going to turn me

over to your progyny here yeah I got a

rubber hose another word out of you kids

and there's no Christmas dinner

tomorrow eat your soup it's homemade

sorry Mrs Dayton I gave him be canned

forgive my skepticism Madam uh sir but

to what do I owe your staggering laress

well just chalk it up to the Christmas

spirit or maybe it's because we know

what it's like to be down on your luck

you you you want a mansion oh sure now

but when Dicky and I were married we

didn't have a dime just Talent oh no

they're going to do it again uh yes Miss

Maestro and then he'd roll roll

roll way up the river he would roll R

roll a hug he give her then he kiss now

and then she would tell him when and

then he fo around around then he kiss

again and then

he a little further he would

R then he drop his take a few more on

and then he

[Music]

R bravo bravo sir we were in bville just

a couple of kids daddy says You Killed

Vaudeville yeah did pardon me for asking

but you're very good but uh surely you

didn't make you fortune in

Vaudeville how'd you guess hey would you

like to hear how we struck it

rich frankly I find such stories

extremely painful but exciting we were

playing en at Oklahoma we and our nephew

the butler it was Christmas time as a

matter of fact now there's a coincidence

tiny little town that's how bad off we

were yeah anyway after the show this sad

little F old clothes comes up to us

bless his soul he thought we were the

biggest talent to come down the Pikes

since Buffalo Bill Cody anyway he asked

us to do another show Private just for

him but that meant we might miss the bus

to the next town our next job but he

looked so lonely and well it was

Christmas Eve and we said well what the

heck so he did it and would you believe

he paid us off with a deed to a gold

mine but he told us not to worry about

it it being Christmas and all a gold

mine in

Oklahoma we thought we'd been had but we

decided to keep the deed as a souvenir

but would you believe the very next

morning they struck oil on that gold

mine oh we haven't worked a day since

how about that Stan you know my name and

your Social Security number take it easy

nothing to worry about we'll get you on

your feet and then you can leave no

questions asked but he's a

crook I don't think

so where is that grook hey man look I

don't told you I don't know where he is

yes you

do you just ain't remembered yet oh man

hey this ain't his street he ain't on

this street man look he he does the

garbage on West 33rd Street East 33d

Street I could be wrong you could be

worse than that unless you tell us where

he is now which house is he going to

hit hey look it beats me brother

Brothers all I know is he said he was

going to hit some house so he can get

some money to get out of town I

shouldn't have told you

that you just couldn't help yourself

good

you hly I absolutely forbid you to marry

Rod sandborn or there'll be nothing or

there'll be nothing under your Christmas

tree yeah furthermore if you don't

accept the proposal of one Robert Willis

you're you're oh yeah

now listen to Old Santa poly farmer this

Robert Willis fellow is a very fine

young man in his way and he's

very oh no no she's left for

work she's left for

work brother

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Macy's please and hurry I'll have you

there in the

Jiffy what are you

doing

hey that's good told you want to come

mom he's just a little late he'll be

here AR you and Daddy

divorced we're not divorced we're just

separated what's the

difference go get out pick me up in a

half an hour I'll be here when you need

me well well well it Mr Travis hello

Merry Christmas to you Mr Travis and a

happy New Year than you same to you got

up in the Santa Su I see the little one

oh he'll like that I hope so oh yes and

that spiffy beard sure you'll just love

it think so oh yes I must tell you Mr

Travis do you know what a thrill it is

for me when I pick up the paper and I

see a picture of the senator and you

standing right next to him it's a thrill

I get every time must be tough Miss and

the misses and and the little VI less

and both but we all have to have

something to give up don't we you know

that you were the only one in this block

that made anything of himself not that I

thought you would you know oh that book

youo now that was a foolish idea you got

to admit it I remember that time when I

went up to help your misses and there

you were it's walking all around the

flat back and forth and I said you what

are you doing and you says I'm looking

for a

word oh I'm glad you got rid of all that

craziness I did well you were the smart

one ah you never had any more of those

Romantic Dreams did you now I know you

just like to be bat in the Bree with me

but I'm a busy woman and I got to be

getting along I have I've got work to do

I'm a busy woman Mr Travis I've got

things to do now I hope you understand

well yes I understand and Merry

Christmas to you and to himself oh I

tell

him well if it ain't Santa Claus where's

your Reindeer the running in dirt at

Belmont hey guys it's me gil Travis the

black politician Angie said you were

going to be here but we didn't believe

him what are you doing sluming or

something you know he ain't sing just

come to do us a favor show the old

neighborhood he's still just one of the

guys remember when he used to hang

around the walk all time that was the

day hey that was a long time ago I'm

Terry was looking for you you remember

Terry your

kid H Merry Christmas indeed if I could

work my will every fool who went about

with a Merry Christmas on his lips

should be boiled in his own pudding he

should

you watching a Christmas car yeah that

mean old Scrooge the ghat are going to

give him that mean old Scrooge well he

doesn't stay mean always you'll remember

what happens he's mean he's mean he's

mean Daddy will be here soon but I want

to watch the movie if he comes I won't

be able to I don't want him to come of

course you do Terry

is somebody up there I certainly hope so

I come all the way from the North

Pole

well who Could That

Be Merry Christmas Merry Christmas one

and all it's Santa Claus well you

recognize me but who is this little boy

it's Santa I brought lots of presents

for you because you've been a good

little

boy no I don't want pris make him go

away tell him to go away

Terry

scared Terry Terry it's me Daddy no no

wait honey no leave me alone leave me

alone leave me Al Jerry Jerry honey it's

Daddy Terry it's just Dad

[Music]

[Music]

look

[Music]

R Boys and Girls

Together me

[Music]

changed are up

G others they are wers but they all feel

just like

me they with all they got could they but

once more

walk with their best girl and have a on

[Music]

theor

Rond brid falling

down they Boys and Girls Together

and you're really very good you're not

supposed to be out of bed I much

recovered thanks to your kind

administrations I hope you don't mind I

borrow this robe if you'll uh restore my

Santa Claus suit I'll make my departure

why did you spend the night uh you need

the rest sir look look we could have

some supper sing some Christmas carols

and then in the morning I appreciate

your hospitality but I I really must be

on my way are you in trouble Sam well

not if I can leave the law oh no the the

less you know the better if I could just

have my clothes no you need a good night

sleep and a solid meal in the morning

we'll give you what you need and you can

be on your way you'll give me everything

I want well it's pretty plain you need

money you came here to Rob us

right well I'd rather make a loan than

be robbed any day I can't remember the

last time I met people like

you our grandchildren think we're pretty

weird Stan what's your problem well

let's just say somebody's after me okay

so this will be your hideout until

tomorrow now no

arguments it's getting late better start

your supper I'm making macaroni and

cheese I hope you like it

oh U hello kids come on in don't be

afraid we're not afraid of you you're

just a bum a tra now where did you hear

that Grandpa said so Grandma too no I

don't believe that not your grandparents

Well you aren't you just a bum

I prefer to think of myself as a man in

need of repair what's your name Melissa

Lance he was talking to me shut up you

shut up hey hey break it up break it up

it's Christmas big deal well I don't get

it look at all these presents there's

enough here to supply an entire

orphanage big deal well the problem is

obviously not your grandparents what are

you folks like they're just just like us

oh I see you're like them well can't you

act more like your grandparents they're

old well you're consistent so I'll say

that for you aren't you the least bit

grateful for the gifts they got you

they're supposed to you two are the

meanest brats I've ever run into you

know what you need don't say a good

spanking that's been tried yeah we don't

respond to violence well let me ask you

this question what did you get your

grandparents for Christmas

[Music]

the driver do you think this Santa Claus

suit look silly I never thought

so oh I sure wish we could fly over this

traffic interesting

[Music]

idea wow do you believe all these people

sure I believe them it being Christmas

and all

[Music]

excuse me could you please I have to ask

him something terribly important could

you just tell me you're Santa Claus

you're supposed to know everything look

all I want to sir I have a customer to

help the nerve of some people I know and

on Christmas Eve I tell you and people

dressed up L Santa

clus excuse me can you tell me where the

fashion show where have you been my

bigger part your dinner break was over

half an hour ago you come along with me

you right now leave just a minute you

just a minute I have a toy department

full of ranching raving children all

screaming for

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

why are you looking so sad my friend I'm

waiting for Santa Claus and he isn't

here may be nearer than you

think and here F Santa Claus off doing

his own Christmas shopping

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Music]

wait wait wait come back

here I'll have your beard for this you

Ras

what's the matter with

him he's seen Santa Claus

before yeah as a matter of fact he said

he saw him this morning driving his

sleigh reindeer and all right over the

building is he all right fine he just

has a very vivid imagination takes after

his father the novelist his father the

novelist oh you're not going to believe

this I ran into somebody today actually

read the book you're kidding the guy who

rented me this Santa who not only did

read the book but he accused me of hazy

character motivation Linda running away

with

Andrew yeah I was just never convinced

about that why not it was obvious he had

to do that a wonderful

book

Thank you were supporting us both

selling junk Pottery to Long Island

ladies in search of culture didn't

bother me bothered me you wrote a

wonderful book I sold 14 copies we were

happy we were together I never wanted

this separation Linda that was your idea

I didn't want it either except I thought

it was necessary in fact I think it was

overdue ever since you started working

for the senator it's been the old

Shuffle off to Washington I came home

when I could yeah but our marriage

became a nice place to visit but you

wouldn't want to live here you could

have moved to Washington in fact I

begged you this is our home I love this

place who wouldn't now that we spent a

small fortune fixing it up I loved it

before we had heat and I love you

love you too but I need you here is that

too much to ask let's start

again getting together yes tonight right

now call the senator tell them you're

going to have dinner with your family I

can't do that and you know it's a very

important dinner then call him and tell

them you're going to spend Christmas

with your wife and your son and you also

know that I have the fly to Washington

tomorrow so much for reconciliation

that's not fair Linda you're forcing me

to choose between you and my career

that's exactly what I'm

doing good evening oh hello hello here's

my Santa Claus suit well I hope it

worked well for you just fine thanks to

you well I didn't do anything at all

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas to

you is this the one don't think so how

about that one over there he didn't

mention on the body how about this one

maybe no sir no way stand Ain in there

[Laughter]

uh-uh he ain't in there okay now get

lost and keep your mouth shut Santa

[Laughter]

Claus the gun the gun where's the

gun I can't find the gun I've looked

everywhere stand when you relax you

don't need a gun it's not just a gun

it's not just any gun no no don't sing

now don't sing

please I have to find a

gun happy how can you be happy I can't

find the gun it's important it's very

important that I find the gun pleas give

me a chance to tell you what all maybe

don't answer the doorbell friend

don't look I can't

find they're here they're here

[Music]

when we together

great love myab how can you

love andbe

weight we make up the following

night when we're together we're great

company my

baby my baby loves me

you got to listen to me this is very

important stand relax will you it's

Christmas Eve

enjoy yes Dan enjoy now get

moving you do lady had a girl all right

Stan come on come on come on come on

every up lady all right now look we all

going to stay very calm nobody's going

to make no noise why don't we discuss

this alone we don't have have to involve

these good people what's to discuss you

know what we want so what's to discuss

you know what we want yes let's Rush him

there's six of us come back here hey the

little Punk's going to rush us hey punk

when you grow up come see me you got the

Mak of a terrific crook you're telling

me glance glance will you take it easy

these are real bad guys yeah yeah we're

real bad yeah come on Stan you know why

we're here hand it over I don't have it

you have it now come on it's getting

late I got to go home and trim the tree

I'm telling the truth I lost it sure

what do I got to do count to 10 give it

to us leave the poor man alone you heard

him he lost it shut up lady and you take

it easy fella Bruno I don't have it wait

a

minute I'm baby skin EAS

Bruno all right now no more fooling

around if we got to get tough we get

tough you don't scare me oh

no how about if I try to scare the

little brat day you leave him alone shut

up lady I mean business fella I told you

wait a minute wait a minute perhaps I

can find it perhaps you can find it

perhaps he can find it oh perhaps if I

do find find it you'll leave these

people alone well sure we don't care

about them but you understand those

stand you coming with

us let's go find it before I do I'd like

to speak to the children alone what for

well it's it's in the nature of a

farewell they become very dear to me I I

just I just like to say

goodbye but don't try nothing funny you

he here remember we got the Andrew

sisters in

here what have you done with the gun

that's what they want where is it why

should we tell you because if you don't

we'll all be in terrible trouble tell me

where it is I'll find it and nothing

will happen except to you you're cute

you're very cute but you're saving us

why you call me a bum and you're right

there Comes A Time in a person's life

when he has to stop taking and start

giving your grandparents show me that

they're the most decent people I've ever

met me and Melissa we're not decent so

why are you saving us because you're

part of the package hey let's go let's

go where is

it please

excuse me can you tell me is the fashion

show over yet no sir a few more minutes

I guess even Santa Claus has his last

minute shopping to do huh oh yeah uh can

you tell me where the Fashion Show is

please in the fashion modle sir in the

fashion mod fashion where where's the

fashion modle the basement you better

hurry sir in the basement

I tried to tell him how important your

job was but I don't think he understood

it's just going to take a while he keeps

expecting you to come home but why did

he run away from me you frightened him

he's used to seeing the Santa Clauses

out on the street and in the department

stores he understands them but it's

entirely different when a big guy in a

red suit and a white beard storms into

his house this is his territory wait a

minute this is my territory too remember

not really not anymore all all right all

right let's not play any guilt trips

please why didn't you just call me and

tell me so I could prepare him because

I'm stupid I thought it might be more

fun to surprise him how much thought did

you really give

it I wanted a hug is that too much to

ask from my son you can't take a hug he

has to give it spare me the child

psychology he away from me

Linda I mean that is very upsetting I'm

glad you haven't seen him in 8 months

you realize how long 8 months is to a

5-year-old I was here in October you he

was asleep you saw him he didn't see I

spoken to him on the phone that was

Thanksgiving you were supposed to be

here carving a turkey I couldn't make it

we were having some trouble

with just

this feels so

rotten I love him so

much yeah I think you

do well then I need more help from you

don't you go laying a guilt trip on me I

haven't kept you from your son it's not

my fault that he didn't rush into your

arm i' I've been busy you know that I

know you keep telling me well go tell

Senator Warren I've got work to do Linda

and then go do it and leave me alone

leave us alone and don't come crying to

me because your son runs away from you I

can't believe how bitter you are bitter

bitter me bitter your damn right

[Applause]

[Music]

arm gentlemen you are seeing the

ultimate in

fashion these clothes are so hot your

holiday season is going to a rub it with

excitement

[Music]

[Music]

I'd like to have that under my Christmas

tree I'd like to have that anywhere

I'll take that one oh yes Mr F send the

dress to my wife send

the should I buy that for my wife or my

secretary going to post you an arm and a

leg I'll get something else for the

[Music]

wife here is the good old holiday was

you know why they call it Wale don't you

yeah because it's good for what Sal

[Music]

here oh there's Santa Claus over there

hey Santa you look like Don Blitz and

really blitzed you hi Santa Merry

Christmas hey Santa come here I want to

tell you what I want for Christmas you

do anything about

that I intend to poly farmer I wish to

speak to you this moment please you must

whoever you are what do you mean whoever

I am I'm Santa Claus that's whoever I am

did you hear me I want to talk to you oh

wait whoever you are can't you see I'm

working working what do you mean working

I'm working too and I'm not whoever you

are I'm Santa Claus listen will you will

you hold up for a minute I want to talk

to you please leave me alone you're

working it's Christmas Eve I'm Excuse me

I'm very busy now listen will you slow

up where's your Christmas

Spirit go away whoever you are don't you

recognize me whoever you are get lost

and look this is a private man gentleman

you all right

[Music]

Gentlemen

please security guard God do

[Applause]

something where have you been I've been

looking everywhere for you now you get

back to the toy department in Stan her

or I will have your badge Joy to the

World somebody do

something yes I am I'm a little bit

crazy for the first time in my life you

know something I love it Merry

Christmas let's

go there we

go come on come on I ain't got all night

now where's the

gun Melissa Lance where is

it it's under the Christmas

tree Bruno under the Christmas tree

Bruno under the Christmas tree the

Christmas

tree christmase

[Applause]

ah I can't believe this man I'll tell

you some if they was my kids I'd really

let them have it you're ready to let

everybody have it yeah but you

first there it is there it is we got it

we got it brutal everybody up go ahead

come on lady get out of here go ahead

out pleasure meeting you

likewise U I hate to sound modlin but

you've restored my faith in you kind and

thanks for the chicken soup yeah cream

of mushrooms sir look do you fellas have

to take him I promise you yeah we got to

take him hey what happened to the brats

yeah they was here a minute

[Applause]

ago on

[Applause]

[Applause]

all right nobody move yeah or as the

expression goes he'll feel you full of

lead okay okay but get these kids off of

me you dirty rat yeah hey kids nice

going you better call the police even as

we

speak well well just after the nick of

time oh sorry we're late some old Geer

outside want to know where the New

Amsterdam restaurant was told him it

closed up years ago but he wouldn't

believe it just kept bugging us

otherwise we would have been here

earlier the New

Amsterdam well if it ain't baby skin and

Bruno yeah they held up the Second

Avenue bank and this is the gun one of

them used to shoot the bank president in

the finger well he's home with the

family now finger's fine he's offered

reward for the capture of the alleged

perpetrators of the crime looks like you

got it holy Del you just got yourself

$25,000 reward money

$25,000 that's pretty good well would

you be interested in the deed to a gold

mine oh thanks I think it's time I

invested in my own claim okay baby kins

end of the live fella let's go thanks

miss all right let's go big fell Merry

Christmas move it out thanks

kid Merry Christmas

[Music]

stle yeah Merry

Christmas yeah

[Music]

Dan

Eddie you all right Stan oh sure

enough it was me I blew it they got it

out of me where you

were I felt so rotten I did something I

never did in my whole life I went to the

police a it's okay Eddie I

understand listen about San

Francisco what do you say first cabin to

the Golden

[Music]

Gate what's going on you hey take it

easy will now look there's something I

want to tell you there's something I

have to say well then say it all right

fine I'm your best friend is that right

yes and when you you need advice I'm the

one that gives it to you is that right

yeah all right well when you asked me if

you should marry Rod sber or not I was

not your best friend I didn't give you

the advice you need what I think you

need is uh what you should do is is

don't marry him don't marry him that's

right what I think you should what I

think you should do is hello Merry

Christmas come on

what I should do is yeah uh oh you're

going to really think I'm crazy why what

all right look your life is very

glamorous I know that I mean you know

dancing in discos the Jet Set and

meeting wait a minute that's that's what

I do but that's not me I am just a kid

from Rapa hanic Virginia I drink milk

and I read the funny papers and I want

to be married I know but not with my

mother was married I know so it's my

grandmother and her grandmother before

that R sand I know but they were married

and and you shouldn't be either well

okay then

who me

[Music]

[Music]

wait a

[Music]

minute here hold this now look don't be

mad at me I know it's small but uh you

can take it back if you don't like it I

got it on consignment a really nice old

guy here hly I love

you

hallelu hallelu hallelujah hallelujah

hallah do you know how long I've been in

love with you no ever since you told me

about Einstein new cernus and

[Music]

God

[Music]

hallah I have to go

aren't you going to call

in no it'll

keep great time for us to explode

Christmas Eve maybe we should have

exploded a long time ago at least

tonight we talked about how we really

felt maybe it maybe it did some

good I hate to think of you

alone go take a night to

Terry yeah

can I come

[Music]

up thank you listen I uh I got to go pal

can can I see that

[Music]

I didn't know you could write yeah your

office is calling it's important but

tell him I'll calling

back this this is

[Music]

terrific I mean

uh it's U it's fantastic

[Music]

huh I'm so proud of

you just say she need to speak to you

now I I'll be right

there you're

really very very special to me

I didn't know he could write he's been

working on Daddy for

weeks I miss so much

all sweetheart are you all

right Daddy really does have to go now

Terry Terry I know I'm late you tell the

senator I have told him Mr Travis but he

wants to talk to you all right tell him

I will call him as soon as I can I can

we play a game can we hold on a minute

sure pal I'll be right with you okay now

he is very angry Mr Travis you tell him

I'll be there in time for the speeches

there's nothing to worry about all right

all right I'll call them Mr Travis but

it sounded like an ultimatum

n

10 I come daddy daddy you and

Mommy I know you are

behind daddy will you tell me a story

sure honey Daddy really does have to go

now oh no it's all right long as I'm

there for the Applause what kind of

story would you like story of a three

bear Three Bears huh okay um once upon a

time there was a papa bear and a

beautiful mama bear and the smart little

baby bear who really wasn't a baby bear

anymore because he'd learned to write

anyway the um the papa bear had gotten

so big for his Brites you see that he uh

he'd forgotten what really mattered to

him which was mama bear and smart little

baby bear and then you know what he did

one Christmas Eve he did the most

foolish thing he scared smart little

baby bear and he made

he made baby bear run away from him and

that that made him feel very very

sad you know

how bad that made him

feel I'm

starved how about some

dinner Kevin right

up Dad what honey there really is the

Santa Claus isn't

there you bet there is pal

[Music]

e

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

there's a once a year night

when your spirits take flight and Love

Takes control of your

[Music]

heart people you meet in the stores and

the street catch the magic and all play

a

part it's the eve of

Christmas a wondrous Time When Love is

the reason and love is the

rhyme the eve of Christmas when spirits

take flight that once a year night

before that once a

year Christmas

Day

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