Original subtitles

SERLING: Tonight's stars:

Leslie Nielsen,

Fritz Weaver,

Francis Lederer,

and Helmut Dantine.

Good evening, and welcome to the Night Gallery.

Now if you'll just follow me.

Time again for your weekly excursion into the cultural.

Paintings, statuary, still lifes, collages,

some abstracts, and some items in ice.

That's not the technique. That, hopefully, is what we turn your blood into.

A good way to begin the attempt, painting number one,

about a man who spends a night in a haunted house.

An unbeliever, if you will, who, by dawn, believes.

The name of the painting is A Question Of Fear.

The name of this place is the Night Gallery.

I knew there were no such things as ghosts or evil spirits.

I made up my mind, I would spend the night in that house

and put an end, once and for all, to all the stupid legends.

Against the advice of my friends,

I went there just after sunset.

I have never been afraid of anything in my life

and, I give you my word, I was not afraid of that house.

They found me wandering on the road sometime after midnight.

When I went in there, my hair was jet black.

It was this color when I came out.

And for three years afterwards,

I was confined for treatment.

What happened in the haunted house?

I don't know.

Mercifully, I have no memory of the events of that night.

Interesting color, white.

I've often wondered why they call cowards yellow,

when it's the white flag they use to surrender.

Does that mean, Colonel Malloy, that you think I am a coward?

Denny, come on. There's no such thing as ghosts

or evil spirits. The world is divided between those with courage and without.

Ghosts are an invention of the latter.

Denny, Dr. Mazi is my guest!

Well, he makes me sick.

Fear is a disease, and it's men like you, Mazi,

with your tales of spectral goblins, help spread it.

I've shot men in a half a dozen wars for cowardice,

men with your disease, who are endangering the rest of us.

Put it right there, will you? Thank you.

No,

I have no patience with your fear.

My apologies, Dr. Mazi. Shall we go?

Thank you, gentlemen, but I would like to stay.

You believe then, Colonel Malloy, that you are without fear?

When I was 18, as a volunteer in the Spanish Civil War,

I killed my first man in hand-to-hand combat.

Since then, I have been with the armies of Britain,

the United States, the French Foreign Legion,

and more recently as a mercenary in Africa.

I have seen and done things that, were I less of a man,

I too would have white hair.

No,

I am careful,

but I am incapable of fear.

Are you a betting man, Colonel Malloy?

It depends.

Would you bet on your courage?

That's how I make my living.

I still own that house.

It has been boarded up ever since that night.

I will wager you $10,000

that you will not be able to spend one whole night alone in that house

without being frightened to death.

You must be joking.

On the contrary, I'm calling your bluff.

All right, you're covered.

You'll hold the stakes, gentlemen?

With pleasure. I've got five more with Mazi.

Gentlemen, I shall be delighted to take your money.

You understand the terms of the bet.

All you have to do is spend one whole night in that house alone

without being frightened to death.

For $15,000, I would survive a night in Hell.

Well, it looks like the genuine article.

If you survive, we settle our bet at noon tomorrow at the club.

You will need a key.

I'll buy you lunch, it's my treat.

Goodbye, Colonel Malloy.

Mazi!

I don't know how much all this junk cost you,

but you can add another 10 grand to it.

And, Al and Fred, if you're listening, you just lost your five!

That is, unless you intend murdering me,

which, of course, I doubt, since it's not part of the terms of our bet.

So, boys,

that's your ball game.

And now, if you'll excuse me,

I think I'll retire for the night.

How about that, no cobwebs.

Looks very inviting, Mazi.

Maybe too much so, huh?

Good night, all.

Wake me when it's over.

Mazi!

Mazi!

Mazi!

The bet is you were gonna scare me to death.

You can't scare me if you kill me, right, Mazi?

You know, for a moment...

Just for a moment, I thought this was serious.

But you know what I think, Mazi?

I think you just wanna see me afraid.

You want to reduce me to your level. Right, Mazi?

Well, I'm sorry, pal.

That's one fraternity I refuse to join.

Sorry, pal.

Denny Malloy signing off.

One hundred,

ninety-nine,

ninety-eight,

ninety-seven,

ninety-six...

Good morning, Mr. Malloy.

Now we can see each other.

There's a television camera sending your image to me.

Listen, Mazi. What's all this about?

A bet. We made a bet.

Oh, no. It's much more than that.

A man doesn't go to this elaborate setup here just to win a bet.

You are right. But your eggs will be overcooked.

I can start and stop the burner electronically,

but not the actual cooking process.

Why don't you have breakfast, and we'll talk?

That's what I say. Why not?

And don't worry about drugs. The food is harmless.

I wasn't worried about it.

As you weren't worried about the coffee thermos last night?

That's right.

Drugged, Mr. Malloy.

You left your bag unguarded just after you entered the house, you remember?

It was while you explored the dining room.

But eat, eat, eat.

Haven't I told you, haven't I reassured you?

The food is harmless. As indeed it is.

And I want you fully awake when your fate overtakes you.

The drug I spoke about,

the one I put in your coffee, you experienced a slight dizziness?

Yes, of course.

Oh, nothing heavy, be assured.

Just a little something to insure that

when you slept, it would be deeply.

You really are quite brave, aren't you?

And for that, I admire you.

But every man has his breaking point, Colonel Malloy,

and you have yours.

To be absolutely honest with you,

I never really doubted your resource and your courage.

It will cost you 10 grand.

We are not finished yet.

Yes, I've learned a great deal about you, Colonel Malloy.

How brave you are,

how you broke through the Italian line at Sidi Barrani

and led the attack on Tobruk.

I believe, at that time, you were serving in the British army.

America was too slow getting into that one.

Commendable patriotism.

Do you remember a small command post

you captured along the way?

I captured a lot of command posts.

Yes, to be sure.

But this one had a special significance.

Perhaps I can help you to try to remember.

It's your TV program.

Thank you.

My father was a junior officer in the army of Mussolini.

He had been left behind to destroy some papers

which were potentially useful to the British.

Your advance column cut off his retreat.

He surrendered at once.

Somehow you got it into your head that he could tell you

when the German invasion of Libya would take place.

He was not a brave man, my father.

He told you with tears in his eyes

that he was only a concert pianist in uniform

who wanted nothing more than for the war to end

so he could get back to his piano and to his music.

Do you remember?

Well, that was a long time ago. There was a war on...

Men were dying everywhere.

Ah, you do remember. Good.

I want you to remember every detail.

You took a can of gasoline from your Jeep,

and while your men held him down,

you poured the gasoline over his hands.

And then, when he failed to provide you with the information

that was never his to give,

you set fire to his hands.

See it, Colonel Malloy, hero!

Even your own men didn't expect you to carry out your threat,

but since they were accomplices to the deed, their lips were sealed.

Thanks to you,

those hands that had given pleasure to millions of people

were reduced, in a matter of moments, to blackened stumps.

Needless to say, my father never played again.

My best friend was killed in a land mine the day before.

Ah, yes, to be sure, many men perished.

My father often spoke of you,

and just before he died,

I swore to him I would find you

and I would break you, just as you broke him.

The bet's off, Mazi. I'm leaving.

And if anyone tries to stop me, I'll kill him.

Nobody will try to stop you.

But I think you will be interested in the rest of what I have to tell you.

Go ahead.

I have lived in your country for a number of years now.

I changed my name and I began to hunt you down.

I trailed you incessantly, awaiting my chance.

Well, you had your chance last night and you blew it.

And before congratulating yourself on surviving

the terrors which I so painstakingly engineered for you,

I think you should know

the worst shock is yet to come.

Which is?

Although mechanics and electronics are amusing hobbies,

I am by profession a biochemist.

I have been in the employ of the United States Government

in the field of biological and chemical warfare.

And, as they say, highly respected in my field.

Good for you.

Thank you.

Recently, my colleague and I

discovered a way of converting a complex enzyme molecule in the human body

until its structure is identical with that of an annelid,

better known to you as an earthworm.

That's terrific. I'm delighted for you.

The result is quite extraordinary.

The bones of the body disintegrate

without affecting the nervous system or the vital organs,

until the victim is, as near as can be, an earthworm.

Able to move on its belly,

but without vertebrae, unable to stand.

Able to feed, able to pass waste matter,

but unable to use its arms and legs,

except to assist with a slithering motion, in the manner of an earthworm.

You're out of your mind, man. That's impossible.

Really? Then I suggest you pay another visit to the cellar.

There, you will see now my colleague.

He's quite harmless, only rather repulsive.

You see, his body, being a stout man,

tended to metamorphose into that of a giant slug.

Definitely not for the squeamish, I would say.

All right.

Why are you telling me this?

If you will roll up your left sleeve and examine

the inside of your arm just below the elbow,

you will perceive a small puncture mark.

While you were asleep, sleeping off the effects of the drugged coffee,

I entered your bedroom and injected you

with the same serum I gave to my colleague.

The two of you should really go down in medical history,

although I rather suspect the authorities will try to hush it up.

A bit too gruesome to unleash on the unsuspecting public,

if you see what I mean.

Of course, the transition doesn't happen overnight.

My colleague was missing for six months

before they finally dropped the search for him.

So, you see, you will have ample time to go to the club,

collect your winnings. Tell the police, if you like.

I don't care, my job is done.

Although I have planned a watertight escape route.

No.

That's not the truth. You're bluffing.

Am I?

The process should begin in very few days.

Go and see a specialist.

I should like to see his face

when you try to explain to him what is wrong with you.

He won't believe a word of it, of course,

but even if he did, he would be powerless to help you.

You see, we never really found a way of reversing the process.

I don't think one exists.

Do you feel a stiffness in the joints,

elbows, knees, shoulders?

It's lies!

You're lying!

There is no such serum!

There is a very easy way to find out.

Just go down to the cellar and have a look at my colleague.

He won't mind.

He's past caring about anything.

There you are. Brave as ever.

You will be a very brave worm.

Why are you stopping?

Your fate is there in the cellar.

Go and look at what you will be!

Why are you stopping? Go, I command you.

You still lose, Mazi.

No, Mr. Malloy, you lose.

There is nothing in the cellar.

Oscar Wilde said something to the effect

that if there were not a devil,

we'd very likely invent him.

He serves many a purpose,

and this grim-visaged character here

is proof of that rather bitter pudding,

in a story that tells what happens

when evil collides with evil.

The painting is called The Devil Is Not Mocked.

You've asked your grandfather what he did in the Great War?

Listen attentively, child, and I will tell you.

For while many are the terrible charges

made against our ancestors,

let no man deny our patriotism.

Hello? Wagner Drei, this is Mozart Ein.

Hello, hello?

Wagner Drei, this is Mozart Ein.

Hello? Wagner Drei, this is Mozart Ein.

Hello? Wagner Drei, this is Mozart Ein.

Hello?

Wagner Drei?

The sector to the west is cleared of partisans, Herr General.

They have shown their true color.

Serbs, Croatians, Slavs.

Stupid peasants putting on an act for their womenfolk.

The castle will be surrounded at any moment.

Good. Dietrich, proceed.

Microphone.

This is General von Grunn,

Commander in Chief, SS, Balkan Forces.

Your headquarters are completely surrounded.

Resistance is, of course, futile and utterly suicidal.

You will open the gates and file out one at a time,

weapons raised over your heads.

We will count to five.

Gentlemen, welcome.

What do you mean, "Welcome"?

You are my guest.

You are headquarters for a secret partisan organization.

We have come to burn you out. Don't you welcome me!

Kranz, move in!

Dietrich.

General, I assure you.

You must forgive us for interrupting your supper.

It is your supper, General.

We have anticipated your visit.

Herr General.

There are only these servants.

Possibly a half-dozen more downstairs and in the stable.

These old castles, they all have subterranean tunnels.

The others have already escaped into the hills.

But we'll send out a reconnaissance party

and hunt them down like the dogs they are.

General, there are no others. Of that I can assure you.

There is a secret resistance movement

operating in this area.

Terrorists, fanatical in their defense

of this depressing Balkan wasteland.

But they shall not escape.

Kranz!

Have the girl taste the food.

I assure you, General, the food is harmless

and superbly prepared.

There are beds for you and for the officers.

The servants downstairs are eager to do

everything within their power to make

the visit of your troops as memorable as possible.

You seek to attach yourself to me.

Win my confidence and learn our battle plans, right?

I'm merely proud of my homeland, General.

We have an historic tradition of hospitality. We...

You have no homeland.

You are a doorstep to the Ukraine.

You have become a mat on which we wipe our boots

before re-entering the Fatherland.

General.

It is delicious.

There's goose, sauerkraut, sweet potatoes, spaetzle.

The bread, still warm.

Good.

You will join me. Please sit down.

I will share your company, General,

but if you forgive the eccentricity,

I do not sup before midnight.

What a foolish, primitive custom.

Under the Third Reich, all this will change.

Goose.

So you are a Count, huh?

I am heir to that ancestral title, yes.

Enjoy it while you can, my host.

Under German rule, people like you

will be no better off than their servants.

Only, unlike your staff,

you will not be serving a single master,

but an entire race.

That is what distresses you, huh?

It is not patriotism or love of country,

it is the knowledge that all of this will be lost to you,

and this is the reason

why you have organized your pathetic resistance forces.

I am a member of the resistance?

Not only a member, you are their leader.

I grant you, I've not been able to prove that as yet.

You are too clever for that.

However, let me assure you,

before we are through with you, you will talk.

We will learn the truth.

Perhaps you shall.

I could have stood you up against a wall right now,

if I wished to. You realize that, don't you?

Under martial law,

I could have you shot merely for suspicious conduct.

Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler!

Heil Hitler.

How can you live with these eternal wolves?

Kranz!

Your bullets are useless, General.

What do you mean?

You are finished. All of you!

We have 100 men out there! Dietrich!

Useless, General.

If the bullets were silver,

it would, of course, be a different story.

You must forgive my servants,

and our primitive Transylvanian customs.

If it's any consolation, General,

this is the headquarters of the secret resistance

and I am its proud commander,

Count Dracula.

And that, dear child,

is how your grandfather served his country

in the Great War.