Original subtitles

Hello, I'm Hamish, and this is my attempt

to force myself to learn new skills -

by promising to do a job I have no business attempting...

That's not too bad.

..with two other underskilled employees.

Does everyone trust me doing this without supervision?

Welcome to Unskilled Adult.

Having delivered to a small surf club

the world's first lasagne-inspired,

castle-themed gear trailer

that, as a bonus, even fit in their shed...

Go, go, go!

..little company UA Enterprises

was going from strength to strength.

But in a battle to keep those business costs down,

this week, instead of forking out for expensive office space,

I'd negotiated a morning-long tenancy at this tattoo parlour.

After sadly saying goodbye to last week's employees,

I was looking for two more staff

who were dramatically ill-equipped for real life,

and I knew these two would not let me down.

-Staff. -DOM: Mate, how you goin'?

-Hey! -HAMISH: So good.

Soph, you wore overalls.

-And Dom, you brought boots? -Yeah.

Musician and general chaos enthusiast Dom Littrich

is best known for his ridiculous content online

with The Inspired Unemployed boys,

and banging on the drums

as the drummer for rock band Pacific Avenue.

Dom is not short on energy, just on basic skills for living.

HAMISH: Outside of drumming,

how would you say your skills level is?

Pretty very low. Incredibly low.

Um, yeah, I was actually thinking the other day,

if I got transported back in time,

I don't think I could teach them how to make anything.

Even like a witch's hat.

HAMISH: Do you mean a witch's hat, like the orange cone?

-Yeah. -Or one for a witch?

(LAUGHS) I was thinking more the orange one.

-HAMISH: Yeah. -Like, I look at my dad.

And I feel like all dads,

and they just know how to do stuff.

When the time comes when I have a kid,

I don't think I'm really gonna be able to teach 'em anything

besides how to drum.

HAMISH: I'm glad that was drumming.

(DOM AND HAMISH LAUGH)

Sophie Monk is, well, I mean, she's Sophie Monk.

She's had hit songs, she's done movies,

she's hosted many TV shows,

and she has great taste in comedy number plates.

But her dedication to the entertainment industry

has come at great personal cost.

I don't know how I've survived

with this amount of lower skills.

On Soph's intake form,

other than singing, dancing and teamwork,

she identified next to no other skills,

and, in fact, then she just left the rest of the form blank.

I'm not good at paperwork either.

HAMISH: Yep.

That's not everyone's cup of tea.

HAMISH: No, I can tell.

One of the questions is, what's the most impressive thing

you've fixed or built around the house?

Uh...

Oh.

Do you, um...

I don't think I've fixed anything.

Fixed, fixed.

No, I haven't.

OK, so that's the team.

Now down to work.

Alright.

-Welcome to the office. -Thank you.

Gotta say it's the only time I've ever had a work desk

that has a sharps container underneath.

-(LAUGHS) -Oh, yeah.

So if that's too sharp for anyone...

..pop that in there, keep 'em blunt.

-How are we feeling? -I'm nervous, honestly.

-A little bit. -Nervous.

I don't want to let this guy down or girl down.

How are you feeling?

Well, I'm feeling like I need to put on

a bit of false sense of confidence for this task.

This is the interesting part about this, though,

because if we didn't know

that we're about to open an envelope

and, like, have to commit to this job,

we could put off learning skills forever.

-I have done that. -Yeah. We all have done that.

-DOM: Yes. -But now we must.

I know.

-SOPHIE: The job. -DOM: Oh, here we go.

OK. Well, the first thing I've seen, it's for $1,000.

Each?

-No. -Oh.

"We're looking for someone to help get our family campervan,

"'Big Bertha', back on the road.

"She was recently reversed into,

"leaving a big dent on her front panel

"and has failed to get her pink slip because of this.

"We'd also love some improvements

"to make her more comfortable,

"particularly better ventilation

"in the back where the kids sleep."

-Right. -"The kids have been caught

"ducking down when we drive past their friends' houses

"as they think she looks a bit sad and daggy.

"So we'd love her to look a bit cooler."

Cooler? Mm-hm.

"We've got a slot

"with a mechanic this Friday at 5:00pm

"to see if she's ready for roadworthy."

Alright, so we had two and a half days

to get Bertha back on the road for Amelia and Dee.

DEE: This is Bertha, big Bertha.

As you can see, she's not particularly good lookin'.

AMELIA: But we love her.

She's been converted into a campervan,

so it's got a bed in the back

and then a rooftop tent on top of it.

We've really wanted to be able to use it,

but she's got quite the significant dent in it.

This stupid dent is naughty.

AMELIA: It does get a little bit hot and sweaty in the back.

So we want to look at trying to get the ventilation

sorted out in the back so that it's not so hot in there

and, yeah, make her look a little bit cooler.

Well, we certainly know cool cars.

They've come to the right place.

I mean, it's like a massive makeover.

I guess it is a makeover for a car, isn't it?

-Yeah. -They say it's the front panel.

I think that's the front where the bumper goes.

I think it's past the bumper.

So you think it's all of the bumper?

Otherwise they'd say the bumper.

Is there a panel behind the bumper?

The front of it. Isn't it? Where the lights are?

-Yeah, I reckon it's that area. -Yeah.

We were showing real potential...

..to learn about where the front of the car is.

AMELIA ON PHONE: Hello.

Amelia, Hamish here from...UA Enterprises.

Still getting used to the name of the company.

We're just looking at your job.

Um, sounds great.

-We'll take it. -It's a big job.

Is it the bonnet that's dented or the panel of the front?

It's the right fender, so above the right tyre.

-Oh. -You were right.

-Is that on the side? -DOM AND SOPHIE: Yeah.

It's on the side, yeah.

-Sorry, that is on the side. -Correct.

HAMISH: Yeah, knew it. We did know that. Yep.

And any other issues?

AMELIA: The car's a little bit daggy.

I need you guys to have a look and sort of use your...

-Sure. -..skills in this one.

-That's a great call. -Yeah. Thanks for trusting us.

Dom, play it cool. People don't need to thank professionals.

By the same token, lucky we could fit you in.

DOM: Exactly.

Could we come and see it this arvo?

Let's say, like, 2-ish?

Yeah, I think we can make that happen, definitely.

See you soon. Bye-bye.

-Thanks, 'bye. -'Bye.

Like, let's break this down into what it is.

-SOPHIE: Yeah, OK. -It's panelbeating.

-Panelbeating. -I think that won't be too bad.

-I don't think that... -Seems like lots of banging.

You just suck it and then I think you put lemon juice on it.

HAMISH: Well, it looks like someone

does know about panelbeating.

It was time to get creative.

Tell me if anyone else was thinking this.

Flames.

Oh, I love that.

Any kid in school, your parents rock up with flames...

(CLICKS FINGERS) ..they're cool.

I know what kids don't get embarrassed by is a funny honk.

Like, if you can have a horn that goes...

-(HUMS HAPPY TUNE) -Yeah.

-Or something. -(HUMS HAPPY TUNE)

-An 8-year-old would love that. -Let's put a funny honk in it.

We rock up with a van, flames,

as we rock up, hitting that horn.

I've got goosebumps a little bit.

So do I. How could you not be stoked?

They are gonna go...

This is my favourite part of the job

because you know what we're doing?

We're imagining we did it.

-(ALL LAUGH) -And killing it.

Annoyingly, you can't stay in the imagining phase all day.

You have to move into doing.

"How to panelbeat a fender."

We're just gonna have to...

I'd need to talk to someone about cars.

So, like, a Toyota. How would I even do it?

Yeah, mechanic.

The flames are not crazy.

It's like wash, degrease, sand it.

You tape it. And then you need to gloss over it.

Piece of cake.

SOPHIE: Oh, hello there.

I was wondering about car horns just in general.

Do you know anything about them?

I have a full-on attitude. I won't half do a job.

I will completely go in and do a good job,

'cause I don't want to let anyone down.

So I'm gonna work hard.

And, yeah, like they say,

"If you're gonna kiss it, (BLEEP) it."

-(LAUGHS) -HAMISH: Who says that?

We are gonna put that as a maybe for the company motto.

Do have, like, a fun one?

Like, not just the, like, the plain old... (HONKS)

Like a... (HONKS MELODIOUSLY) Or something like a...

MAN ON PHONE: Sorry, I don't think

we carry that sort of horn.

HAMISH: Meanwhile, Dom was busy

finding out about ventilation options.

The turbo vent kit, $137.59.

Not really to me. It's not my company. (LAUGHS)

While Dom was being reckless with company money,

I had a hunch that probably doing panelbeating

in a tattoo parlour would not work.

Do you rent out your garage for kind of, like, day use?

MAN ON PHONE: No, I don't, mate.

HAMISH: Turns out garages are just less set up

for walk-ins than you think.

-David, how are you, mate? -DAVID: Very well, thank you.

HAMISH: But then I found an angel.

Do you do bay, like, garage bay rental?

Yeah, we can help you with that.

That is awesome.

So we can just hire, like, it's all ours,

that bay, like a hairdresser's seat?

Correct. Yeah, do you need a hoist?

Yep.

HAMISH: Ha, ha! Oh, Dave!

I wouldn't dream of going hoistless.

Soon enough, we'd secured our other critical equipment.

We can get same-day delivery for the "Awooga!"

-The horn. -Awooga! (LAUGHS) Yeah.

Awooga!

-And it's 30 bucks. -SOPHIE: This is the best.

With the job basically complete, except for actually doing it,

I focused on team building.

I mean, we're ahead of 'schedge'.

(DELICATE MUSIC)

Is it t...

Would we get a tattoo?

-(GUFFAWS) -Oh, no. I was like...

-But just to be, like... -DOM: Yeah.

A little hammer or a little spanner.

That'd be sick. I'd be keen.

-HAMISH: Yeah. -Definitely.

Just to, like, commemorate the job.

-DOM: Yep. -I don't know.

Soph understandably valued her skin

and this was a big decision.

Dom runs a more tattoo-friendly policy

on his body, and, yeah, he was in.

I love this job.

I added the well-known panelbeater's spanner

to my own small tattoo sleeve,

and it was a dramatic peel-out

as we went to rescue Big Bertha.

-This thing's got some power. -Sure does.

600cc engine.

Strong car, strong tats.

It's actually the toughest tattoo I've got because it's...

Yeah.

You know, this is part of this new...

-Yeah. -Evolving.

..evolving world of knowing some skills.

DOM: Hell, yeah!

I just love that we got it before the actual job.

And are now running a little bit late.

(LAUGHS)

I've got to say, one of the great things

about being really unskilled

is never really understanding what you're up against.

-(GATE SQUEAKS) -That's not too bad.

-DOM: Oh. -I wouldn't even notice.

To be honest...

That's great. It's just how we get this off.

There will be a button. Even...

We'll go and say hi. We'll go and say hi to Amelia and stuff.

Like, I'm not immediately feeling it.

-(LAUGHS) -It'll be under there.

Nah, there'd be plenty of time to find that button later.

Time to meet Dee, Amelia and her kids.

-HAMISH: Hi, guys. -OTHERS: Hi.

-HAMISH: How's it going? -Good.

Congratulations on buying

the thinking woman's Tarago, we noticed.

Reassuring the client is always a nice and easy thing to do.

Is this not roadworthy with that?

Not roadworthy with the bumps.

HAMISH: That won't be a problem.

-DOM: That's easy. -That'll buff right out.

I find it helps to reassure myself as well.

Don't worry, we're gonna get her good as new.

I'm deeply invested in this job now.

This is a real adventure mobile.

Don't we have really loud horns?

-HAMISH: You've got a loud horn? -This is how loud it is.

-(HORN HONKS NORMALLY) -Oh, that's fun.

And it was about to get a whole lot funner.

Me and Hunter, like, have some ideas.

What's your ideas?

On the side, on the bottom, down, we want flames.

If you need adults

who perfectly understand 8-year-olds' brains...

-Are you joking? -..we are it.

We were gonna do that to surprise you.

-Oh, my God! -Wow!

-This is wild. -How is that for meant to be?

-We are meant to do this. -Hmm.

Yeah. Now we just needed to figure out how to do this.

Well, we better get the keys.

One thing we forgot to tell you is we can't drive her,

so you're gonna have to get a tow.

-Even just down the road? -You can't drive her or...

-Oh, she can move. -Yeah.

But you might get in trouble for it.

Turns out, driving an unregistered car,

even for a tiny little bit, even with best intentions,

is illegal, so a tow truck was needed.

We weren't ready for a while.

We stopped and got a tattoo, but now we're ready.

With Bertha safely on board, we headed to the workshop

I'd sorted us earlier,

which turned out was no ordinary garage.

So they do panelbeating, trimming, upholstery, paint,

machining.

-What's machining? -Using the machines.

-Oh. Uh, they do everything. -Yeah, unreal.

Our hoist was at a place called Modern Classics,

where vintage cars come to get expertly restored,

like this one, that one's a beauty, and now this one.

We explained this pretty straightforward job

to garage owner David.

The job is basically we're taking off the front panel,

we'll beat it back into shape,

sand it.

-Paint it. -Paint it.

We're gonna do flames on the whole car,

so we have to sand a few other panels.

-We smooth it, we gunk it. -Yep.

-We put it back on. -What do you think of this idea?

-Of you getting it all done? -SOPHIE: Yeah.

-Good luck. -What do you mean?

What do you mean?

DAVID: They've got hours in front of them.

This job is, it looks easy, it's just a dent in a guard,

but even getting the guard off is quite a bit of work,

and then you've got to start to fix it,

and then you've gotta go back through that process

once you have fixed it, and get it all lined up,

and lining it up could be a 20-minute job,

or it could be a 4-hour job.

Look, that's just one professional opinion,

and sometimes it's good to balance it out

with a different professional opinion.

I can't see how this is a disaster.

I mean, it's a dent.

I'm not saying Dave's wrong. I guess I am saying Dave's wrong.

I just think once you pop this off...

And again, I don't know where the button is.

There's going to be a button. There will be a button.

Watch this.

Oh. (LAUGHS)

Hmm. There's gotta be a button.

We will find it.

How do we fix you?

We shall see.

We'll go get the paint, though.

Might take a photo of this to colour-match.

Good, Hame. That sounds professional.

'Cause the other thing is, once we sand it all back,

and we paint flames on it,

the background will need...

We'll have to do the background as well.

Sorry, I'm just wondering when I'm going to take that photo.

Don't we?

Anyway. To the paint shop and...

Oh, good, this is it. This is...

This is the bit where I take the photo.

And...go now. No?

Amazing machine when you think about

how smooth they get it at the factory.

-Hmm. -Damn.

Understandably distracted by the majesty

of a turn-of-the-century Toyota.

HAMISH: We'll do the silver paint,

which I think we'll have to get onto real quick.

Oh, should we have checked the exact tone of...

-I took a photo. -OK.

Is that enough?

Soph, of course a photo was enough.

Photos are perfect references,

but they do have to exist to work.

I didn't get a photo. Why didn't I get a...

I said I was gonna... Did I not take a photo?

I didn't get one either.

Maybe it's not showing all photos.

Now the last photo I've got is you and me

showing off our tattoos.

Honestly, I don't think it matters.

-Silver's silver. -Be covered in flames, anyway.

-Yeah, that's right. -HAMISH: Hello, mate.

-DINO: Hey, mate, how are ya? -Very good, Hamish.

-Dino. How can I help you? -Dino, you're a legend.

We're working around the corner

panelbeating and spraying...

-Yeah. -..a Toyota Estima.

We're panelbeating the front right-hand fender.

-Do you have a photo of the... -I thought I did.

Oh, no, you'd think we'd have that, hey?

Not a problem when you can

confidently Google what you need.

We're putting the... What Toyota colour is it?

-What colour is it? -SOPHIE: Silver.

We were thinking maybe it's the Medium Silver Metallic.

-You don't know what... -No, we do, we do.

Did you get the paint code off the vehicle?

-But we... -(STAMMERS)

-You would have thought, hey? -No, we did, we did, we did.

-It's the 1F8. -It's the third one. 1F8.

1F8. Yeah, I've got that. 1F8. Yeah, no problem.

Even though our scattered internetting made us pros,

it was still nice to workshop it with another pro.

We need something... What's it called? Gok?

-Bog. -HAMISH: Bog.

-Body filler. -DOM: Yep.

After you do the body filler

and sand it and shape it, you need to primer it.

So you're going to repair it, paint it silver.

-Yes, and then paint... -And then flames on top.

Did you want to do all this with aerosols?

-Uh, with who? -Aerosols.

-SOPHIE: Oh. -Spray cans.

Eric Sol, he's the best in the business.

So when are you starting on it?

-Today. -Now. You're in it.

-Oh, today? -This is happening.

-OK. -DOM: This is our first stop.

Why is everyone worried about time?

I feel like we're gonna get this done early.

-Yeah. -Well, it's a process.

So you gotta do the repair, you gotta bog it,

you gotta wait for the bog to dry.

Can you speed that up?

-No. -OK.

Normally people slow it down

to give them working time.

-We don't have time. -Well...

So with the clock ticking

and the learning curve steepening,

I leant on an old trick.

Hey, Dino, these seem fun.

Do these turn an aerosol can into a gun?

-Yeah, make it into a gun. -Sick. Three of.

Buy your way out of trouble.

Do you want a hairnet or something, Soph?

-Like, for the painting? -Yeah.

-I've got painter suits. -Get three of those.

Go choose your favourite bucket.

We're gonna use an angle grinder to sand it.

No, no, no. You gotta use a whizzer.

-What's a whizzer? -SOPHIE: Oh.

DINO: And your sandpapers go on that.

Would it be smart to get a few of those?

Nah, one will do.

Bog. The bog, the bog. Get quite a lot of bog.

That's a dent remover.

That's... I just thought I'd have it as a backup.

-DOM: Yep. -Look at that.

-(BANG!) -DOM: Oh!

-Sorry, mate. -You work out how to use it?

Did I work out how to use it? You bet I did, mate.

What do you think of this, Dino? We got these today.

You got a template there for the flames.

Oh, my God! We didn't even realise that.

There's a paint man. You see it everywhere.

While Dino added up

what would turn out to be quite a large number,

we took a moment to double-check our key tasks.

The whole point of the roadworthy

is to get rid of the rust and give it a beautiful finish.

-Yeah. -The bodywork will be great.

We're making it legal.

Like, the horn is legal.

-Is it? -Is it?

I haven't checked that, actually.

How do we get roadworthy?

I don't think they would sell us one if it wasn't legal.

-Who? -No, the internet.

We were feeling good and, most importantly,

we had lots of stuff and that does feel like progress.

DOM: Alright, we are fully stocked up.

Tomorrow, we whiz, bog,

paint, sandpaper.

Kind of forget the list

'cause our brains are all turned to mush.

-I will send you a photo. -Yeah, please do.

-No worries, Hamish. -Legend.

-Thanks, mate. Thank you. -Thank you, mate.

HAMISH: He's given us a lot of information,

but with information comes confidence.

That photo was a bummer.

I'd love to review the tape. I swear I took a photo.

-(HONKS HORN) -Yep. (LAUGHS)

What I didn't know was that our producer

actually did take a photo.

Ooh!

That's a replacement. You wouldn't fix that.

Oh, that changes everything.

You gotta be an expert panelbeater to repair this.

You gotta know what you're doing.

To repair that and have it done

for what they're saying in two days, I...very hard.

Unless they're working around the clock.

Well, maybe not round the clock,

but we were laser-focused on the job.

(SIGHS)

He looked heaps like my Uncle Greg.

(ALL LAUGH)

It wasn't now just the truck that was full of stuff.

Our brains were bursting with new knowledge.

I feel like I've learned so much.

Honestly, I don't think I've learned this much since school.

So I let everyone know we're knocking off

to be fresh for tomorrow.

-Well done. -Thank you, darlings.

I let everyone in the car know.

I did forget to let David know.

Apparently they went to buy paint,

which should have been a 10-minute job,

but it seems to have turned into a 2-hour job.

While David presumably closed his garage,

at my house that night...

You beauty!

..the magic horn fairy had delivered.

Awooga!

Early the next morning, I picked up my panelbeaters,

and they were dressed for the occasion.

-Good morning. -Soph, looking pro.

Thank you. Got all my stuff.

-Luigi. -(MEN LAUGH)

I love the UGG boots too, Soph.

SOPHIE: I've got comfort. I've got everything I need for today.

Closed toe. Appreciate it.

I could tell Dom had been dreaming

of flames all night, like me.

I'm still amazed by the flame, that they wanted flames.

-Yeah, I know. Huge. -And that that was coincidence.

So, here's what our number-one priority for today is.

DOM AND SOPHIE: Yes.

Then start...

-Get that car up in the air. -Yep.

-What... Yeah, OK. -And get the panel off.

-Yeah. -HAMISH: I reckon that's...

You've been itching to get that panel off since you've seen it.

If we don't get the panel off, we're in deep shit.

-We are. Big time. -Can't really call ourselves...

Yeah, it seems to be really nagging...

-..panelbeaters until we... -No.

And I think, actually, we could heat it to beat it.

Oh! Heat it to beat it.

But you heat it up how?

-I've got a blowtorch. -OK.

I'm not sure if the metal is strong enough to heat.

-Sorry. (LAUGHS) -I think it is.

-OK. -SOPHIE: It's metal.

-Why don't we know anything? -Correction.

We did know one thing.

I'd actually watched a how-to video on car hoists.

-I know how to use the lift. -On YouTube last night.

It's actually not too tricky.

There's one button and it says Raise.

-SOPHIE: Go. -Do stand back.

(HOIST WHIRRS)

Now we're mechanic-ing.

And then just stand back a little bit

and we'll just drop it down so it's locked.

(LOUD BANG)

Oh, no, I didn't remember that noise in the video.

That was terrifying. (LAUGHS)

-One more go. -DOM: No, no.

SOPHIE: Oh, God!

(HOIST WHIRRS)

-HAMISH: That's good. -(HOIST STOPS)

From what I understood, it's like a safety thing

that it's, like, mechanically locked out

so it can't fall on anyone.

-SOPHIE: Ooh! -(LOUD BANG)

Well, time for a different tactic.

Safety shake done.

-SOPHIE: Yeah. -That's not going anywhere.

-DOM: That's great. -We were set.

It feels like it might have repercussions,

that noise, doesn't it?

-It did sound like a noise... -Yeah.

..with consequences.

(DOM LAUGHS)

With the car up,

before Soph could put our brand-new horn in,

she actually had to find out where the horn is in a car.

Um, can you help me see

if you can see it in there?

SOPHIE: Legally, I'm not worried about the horn.

I Googled it. I don't think it's illegal.

I've just got to find it.

Where the hell is a horn?

Oh, I think this could be the horn.

-SOPHIE: Yes! -Yeah.

You did it. Oh, my gosh!

Whoops. That came off. It came off.

Want me to honk it and see what happens?

-(HONKS HORN LOUDLY) -(BLEEP)

Yeah, I think it's definitely that. That's definitely it.

-SOPHIE: It's that? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it.

-We have eyes on the horn. -Do we?

-DOM: Yeah. -HAMISH: Unreal.

But the joy of finding quickly turned into the fear of doing.

Does everyone trust me doing this

without supervision, honestly?

I just do it, I guess?

I think it's here.

Oh, no. Let me think it through.

And Soph encountered our all-too-familiar friend,

decision paralysis.

Is this the car horn, and how do I remove it?

When you're willing to do absolutely whatever it takes,

except start.

This is the bell. I want to remove the bell.

I just unclick it. I don't know if I'm meant to touch this bit.

So when you do start, boy, does it boost confidence.

Whoa!

Just call me Eugene Bolt.

No, what's his name?

Usain Bolt? Or Eugene.

-I reckon Eugene's cool too. -(SOPHIE SNORTS)

Channelling the speed of Eugene and Usain,

Dom and I tried to make some fast decisions about the panel.

DOM: Should we try to suction out

the panel while it's still on?

-Yep. -DOM: Cool.

We've got this stuck to the tin of paint.

-SOPHIE: Oh, no. -DOM: There we go.

(BLEEP) Help!

Yeah, I think that's a panelbeating job, that one.

(LAUGHS)

Well, the suction cap had bowed out of the race to be helpful,

so we needed other tools.

Morning vibe, really, really high. Slightly...

You just can't let any minor setbacks bog you down.

I have seemed to have left

a significant amount of useful tools at the last job.

That was screwdrivers.

The ratchet set last seen

trying to change the wheels on the surf club trailer.

Just gonna ask Dave if he's got a ratchet set.

Turns out he had a massive one,

almost like he uses them more than once.

It's all about just find the bolts, get them out.

DOM: Yeah, exactly.

HAMISH: Oh, bolt.

-Yeah. -That's one.

HAMISH: Oh, there's one up there. Is that this panel?

How the (BLEEP) do you get to that one?

SOPHIE: Look at that. (LAUGHS)

HAMISH: Guys, I don't want to call it too early,

but first panel.

-Get off! -SOPHIE: Really?

-HAMISH: Nah. -(DRILL BUZZES BRIEFLY)

Oop! Sorry. She's not loving that.

-(SOPHIE LAUGHS) -Yep!

Oh, that was glued.

To be honest, I didn't think about getting off the panel.

I thought there was a button.

Look, maybe you already knew this, but there is no button.

Well, it's not there anyway.

But there was a silver lining.

One thing I'm really proud of with this job is it's 10:12,

and if you look back at my past jobs,

we are nowhere near getting to site by this stage.

So it's like, yes, every thing we undo or snap, Dom,

it's like, OK, that's gonna be a problem for later.

But we have more later than we usually have.

Um... How's it going?

It's just about to fall off.

Excuse me, I'm about to take a panel off.

I'm a panelbeater. What's your job?

Office work?

Soft shit.

-(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC) -DOM: Here we go.

-Give that a pull. -Oh! Oh!

(MUSIC BECOMES DISCORDANT)

-There's one more. -Is there one more in there?

(MUSIC FIZZLES)

Alright. Nah.

Good on you. You're probably really good at your office job.

So after what turned out to be an hour and 45 minutes,

we found the button.

HAMISH: Oh, it's this!

-(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC) -(DOM CHEERS)

(ALL EXCLAIM)

It was a massive milestone for us.

That's not that hard.

And then to cap the moment off,

Soph discovered the wire for the horn.

-SOPHIE: I did it. -HAMISH: Oh, my God.

-Yes! -SOPHIE: I know, like, one bit.

-Not the whole thing. -Yes!

HAMISH: Oh, it comes out that way.

Sorry, Dom, she'll get you later.

If this one has the same attachment.

-It does. -Yes! I love doing things right.

-It does? Wow! -SOPHIE: OK.

But how's that gonna fit?

SOPHIE: Don't worry about that yet. Let's look at the positive.

-Uh... -Shit.

This sounds silly, but where do you put the horn?

It's not like there's a magic horn hole.

If we wrap this whole thing in foam...

SOPHIE: And then put it in here?

Then we can just rest it in here. Place it in there.

-Done. -No-one looks in the bonnet.

But then behind the number plate, Dom discovered something.

Maybe there is a magic horn hole.

Hey, wait a second.

-DOM: Uh! -(SOPHIE GASPS)

-SOPHIE: A gift! -Is it horn-sized?

-SOPHIE: Yes! -DOM: Oh.

SOPHIE: Do you reckon we can shove it in there?

We can, but it's a tight fit.

-DOM: That's pretty cool. -Isn't it?

HAMISH: I worry about the roadworthy.

But Soph was not giving up on her horny dream.

That doesn't sound right.

Am I allowed to get creative or nah?

HAMISH: Yeah. What are you thinking?

Could I not saw this off a little bit and make it smaller?

All I need is a... (MAKES BUZZING SAW SOUND)

Here we are. I don't see what...

Like, it doesn't have to look good inside.

It's the outside that counts, kids.

-SOPHIE: Guys. -DOM: Are you doing it?

Yeah, I just thought I'd let you know I'm doing it.

SOPHIE: I don't usually trust myself with doing things,

or I'll just give up and ask someone else to do it.

But because I've had to try and make myself do it,

I feel like I'm learning

and I'm more capable than I actually thought.

I'm quite proud of myself. I don't even need a man.

-SOPHIE: Hey, David. -Hello.

SOPHIE: My next challenge is to...

It seems basic, except it's electrical a little bit

'cause it's got wires involved,

a blue and a red, which is always...

I've seen those in movies.

You don't wanna get those muddled up.

A little snipparoo.

I'm trying to look and extend one of those

so it's long enough that the horn

can go inside the number plate.

If I was saying that to a guy,

they'd be like, "Whoa, she knows her cars. She's a rev head."

-Now that's on. -You're on fire, Monk.

I never doubted myself. No, I did, actually, a lot.

This was it - we waited with bated breath

to hopefully hear the sweetest sound that you can hear

when you're in the custom car game.

-Go honk it! -Oh, my gosh, OK.

Please work, please, please.

(SOPHIE PANTS)

-You ready? -HAMISH: Yep.

-(HORN HONKS LIKE CLOWN CAR) -(ALL EXCLAIM CHEERFULLY)

(HORN HONKS AGAIN)

-That is great! -Oh, my gosh, guys!

That's one of the best days of my life.

We were so proud.

I'm ridiculously proud.

Uh, I don't really finish things often.

However, I got to say,

the feeling of being very impressed by this

did seem to be isolated

to just the people in front of the camera.

HAMISH: Oh, my God!

I remind you again, sir, it's early in the day.

Sorry, one thing?

-How'd that get off? -DOM: Yeah.

I think we've done about 10 things.

-Yeah. -To be honest.

As lunchtime neared,

I will admit none of those 10 things

had involved beating a panel,

and it was probably time to start.

Here's the thing. Let's just get a feel for it first 'cause...

It does look like you can just pop it out.

It's not that bad. I mean, it's pretty malleable.

SOPHIE: It wants to go back to its natural form.

HAMISH: It does. Great call, Sophie. It wants to go home.

Maybe it just needed to be warmed up to get there.

-Do we heat it to beat it? -Just anyway, give it a tickle.

Whoa! Get out of there.

-I'm so flammable. -(MEN LAUGH)

-Sorry about that. Yes. -SOPHIE: Yeah.

We'll put you in a full asbestos suit.

With some of Australia's most valuable hair

at a safe distance, we got to heating...

HAMISH: Ooh, she's smoking from the other side.

And then we got to beating.

(METAL BANGS LOUDLY)

SOPHIE: Oh, gosh!

Maybe too far.

You might have gone too far.

HAMISH: That worked, didn't it?

-One and done, baby. -Oh, nah.

Doesn't look as good on that side, does it?

-Oh, you've also burnt it. -That'll come off.

That smells bad.

So while Dom and I used instinct,

uh, Soph used the internet.

You know what it does say? Don't use a hammer and go hard.

-Oh. -So you're meant to lightly tap.

-Lightly tap, huh? -Yeah.

It says, "Light, controlled tapping."

"Work slowly. Tap around the dent first.

"Relieve tension

"and avoid smashing directly

"into the deepest part immediately."

Wish I did that first, this bit.

-I know. -We're learning.

Just trying to get it all in the right order. When do you Google?

-Before? After? -Yeah. Before it is, isn't it?

And then our work caught the attention of a passing expert.

I must say, it's a lot. I'm actually really surprised.

-So, so far, so good. -Yeah? Hell, yeah.

-Appreciate that. -A lot of...

They get metal on the other side.

-And when they hammer it... -Yeah.

-You have something outside. -..to sort of shape it.

Oh, is that what this is for?

-Could be. -Could be?

-It's not my job. -Are you not a panelbeater?

No, no, no. I'm a mechanic.

(HAMISH AND DOM CACKLE)

We've been talking to the wrong guy the whole time.

Still, praise is praise. We'll take it.

Now that probably looks perfect to you guys watching,

but to give it that extra professional finish,

we needed to apply the bog.

It is remarkable, for all the bakers out there,

how similar to buttercream this is.

As my kids will tell you,

you can never have too much buttercream.

SOPHIE: From here, it looks so good.

DOM: Bog is on.

HAMISH: Bang on sausage roll O'clock.

So while we left our panel icing to dry,

we weren't just heatin' and beatin',

we were heatin' and eatin'.

HAMISH: I am happy with that.

(FLAME HISSES)

-Alright, Soph, you ready? -SOPHIE: Yeah.

One. Ow!

(BLEEP) Far out. We need a...

It's hot. Yeah, sorry.

-It's hot. -SOPHIE: Argh!

-They come out hot. -SOPHIE: Argh!

I'm really proud of everyone for just getting stuck in.

-I'm proud of everyone too. -Mmm.

I think it's our tats, to be honest.

-We are connected. -Mm-hm.

Do you reckon this is water or petrol or something?

-(MEN LAUGH) -Like, you know what I mean?

-Between the two? -I don't know.

I'd bet on water.

Don't know what the mechanics keep in their fridge.

Full of sausage rolls and thankfully no petrol,

we were back to work,

but we did run into a little paint problem

that had been brewing since we saw Dino yesterday.

Did you get the paint code off the vehicle?

But we...

Uh, no.

Short on time, we had panicked and guessed.

-DOM: A bit darker. -It's a bit darker, isn't it?

And possibly we'd guessed wrong.

Before we just paint it, maybe the wrong colour,

do we want to look?

Oh, yeah, look. I mean, crazy idea. Could work.

DOM: 1FC15?

No, that particular jumble of numbers and letters

doesn't sound familiar.

DOM: Or 1D2?

No, neither does that.

We'd ordered something else,

hoping confidence would make it right.

-HAMISH: 1F8. -1F8. Yeah, I've got that. 1F8.

But despite repeated sprays,

1F8 wasn't magically turning into the desired 1D2.

Help was needed.

Should we call Dino? Did we get his card?

DOM: I think we did.

-I... -Hmm.

No, that's the...

-DOM: The tattoo artist. -My tattoo artist.

Eventually, we did find Dino's number.

-HAMISH: Uh, Dino. -DINO ON PHONE: Hamish.

Just did a little test spray with the colour.

Yeah.

We... Have you ever heard of a colour called 1D2?

Yeah.

That's a different colour, another silver.

That is a different colour.

We think that might be the colour of the car.

There you go, against all the odds, the mystery was solved.

So while Dom and Soph ducked back to Dino's...

-(HORN HONKS) -DOM: Yes, road trip!

..I got to use the whizzer,

which basically does what it says.

It whizzes off all the bog that I put on.

It's buried.

It's like an archaeological dig now,

and we have to get back to the Precambrian period.

Meanwhile, back in the current era,

Dino offered his thoughts,

having now seen a picture of the car.

Normally, panels like that these days,

panelbeaters, throw them out,

put a replacement and you're done.

But to be honest, we weren't interested in the easy option,

mostly 'cause we didn't know it was an option.

But as Dom and Soph returned,

I secretly loved knowing how professional this must look...

-(COMPRESSOR HISSES) -Oh, damn.

(DOM AND SOPHIE EXCLAIM AND LAUGH)

(HAMISH LAUGHS) So excited to see you.

And I never asked him, but I have no doubt Dave

was excited he'd rented me his workshop.

HAMISH: All good. Got it. Safe.

Unfortunately, due to time ticking,

we couldn't just take photos of ourselves using the whizzer.

Dom and Soph had to get to work

on one of the other key requirements - ventilation.

This is very important.

Mmm.

So we have to take off the entire fuzzy carpet inside.

-The roof. -The roof.

We've gotta take the whole roof off.

We kind of thought it would just be a...

..process of cutting straight through, so it's gonna be

a little bit more work than what we thought...

-Yeah. -..for this one.

And the list of concerns kept growing.

DOM: Main concerns is, yeah, getting a hole

-in the wrong place. -Yeah.

Putting this in, not waterproofing it properly.

It not working. Also not providing air.

Uh, nothing too serious then, I guess.

Up here with a screwdriver, you tell me I'm not a mechanic.

While Soph's post-horn confidence

was still riding high, I felt like Dom was less sure.

Once you cut a hole, there's no going back from cutting a hole.

And I don't know if I'm the man for the job for this.

I think it's probably got the highest stakes

out of anything that we've done on the job so far.

-Absolutely. -Absolutely.

But after a lot of avoidance,

Dom decided he was stepping up.

I've decided that I'm going to cut the hole in the roof.

HAMISH: We've been dancing around this a lot, haven't we?

-We have. -We've kissed it.

SOPHIE: And now it's time. Let's (BLEEP) it.

SOPHIE: Yeah, there's something caught up the top, is there?

-Ow! -HAMISH: Yes!

SOPHIE: That's great, guys.

And then we just drill through that.

-DOM: Yeah. -But how to just do that?

I had some thoughts.

Go as fat a drill as you can through.

Mm-hm.

And then you put the jigsaw in that.

DOM: Yeah.

Drive it out to the edge of the circle.

-Drive it round. -That's good.

Reckon a jigsaw blade will cut through metal?

Luckily for Bertha, we never had to find out.

-DOM: Hey, H. -Yeah?

I've got maybe the coolest thing...

-You have no idea. -..that I didn't know existed.

-(GASPS) -That cuts it out in one.

But we need the pilot hole first.

-Yeah? -And then you put this on.

Yeah, the gods answered our call.

-(CELESTIAL MUSIC) -Where did you get that from?

-David. -Dave.

(DOM AND SOPHIE LAUGH)

Dom understood the stakes.

You can't uncut a hole in a roof.

This is a big moment.

And as Dom's boss, I took my support role

very seriously and very literally.

I'll hold my own head up with my neck,

but I'll hold your head up

'cause we need you to be comfortable...

-That's great. -..while you do it.

I can't really see with the foggy glasses.

-Do you want me to wipe them? -That's good.

No, that's on the inside. Alright.

And Soph would be our expert spotter.

-Let's do this. -Alright, I'm scared.

-Here we go. -SOPHIE: Don't be scared.

That's it. That's it. Keep pushing.

(THUD)

-We did it? -No, you're pumping.

You're through something, but you've still got to go.

-Push harder. I can see you... -I feel like I'm through.

You're not coming through-through.

-Really? -Oh, yes, you are.

Sorry, I was looking at the wrong bit.

-(MEN CACKLE) -How thick's this roof?

For all you roof cutters out there,

you'd know now it's time for the big dog.

Mate, let's do it.

-DOM: Alright, we ready? -Yeah, Dom.

-Get some. -Close your mouth.

(DRILL BUZZES AND SQUEAKS)

Oh, there's sparks! Keep going!

(DRILL BUZZES)

Argh!

SOPHIE: Yes, you did it!

-We did it. -SOPHIE: You did it.

-HAMISH: Yes! -(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC)

-Holy shit. That was sketch. -Oh, what a hole.

Oh, mate, there was hot metal showering on us.

SOPHIE: Was it sparking in here?

-I couldn't look. -There was sparks.

-Yeah. -SOPHIE: Really?

-Yeah, we had sparks. -DOM: Yeah.

And not just between me and Dom.

(ALL LAUGH)

DOM: I'm on cloud nine.

There was hot metal flying, sparks between us flying.

That was calendar stuff. That was hot.

It was hot. (LAUGHS)

Before we had time to do the 11 other sexy shoots

required for a calendar,

we finally got the crown on Queen Bertha.

It's the moment of truth - seeing if this

fits through the hole that was drilled.

(CHORTLES)

It is in.

And then we screw the bottom in. We're on.

Am I calling it too early

if I say that is millimetre-perfect?

I think you could be right, H.

And this is event TV. Cheers.

(WHIZZER WHIZZES)

But, unfortunately,

my battle with smoothing the bog continued.

HAMISH: Mate, she came up alright. What do you think?

DAVID: Do you want my honest opinion?

-(MECHANIC CHUCKLES) -HAMISH: Uhh...yeah.

Panelbeater to panelbeater.

So...you rub your hand along there...

-HAMISH: Yep. -..without your glove on.

-Feel all the rumps and dumps? -Yeah. That's character.

OK. But it should be like that.

-And this is too low. -Yeah.

-And that's all up and down. -Yeah.

-And this little mark here... -Yep.

..will be horrible when you paint it.

OK, so this is my fault. That shouldn't have been in the edit.

We'll just go again here. Three, two, go.

Sorry, if you've just joined us,

Dave just came over and said, "Bloody good job."

To even be a chance to meet the deadline,

we had to get the primer on this thing before the end of the day.

"Shake vigorously for one minute."

Don't have time for a minute.

I don't know.

This is one of those weird ones

where you've got the expert going, "I'd never do that."

But at our company, it's the greatest thing we've ever seen.

We needed to dry it fast and Soph came to the rescue.

Do you want an actual hairdryer?

I think I've got one. It might be better.

-Have you got a hairdryer? -Yeah, I think so.

(HAIRDRYER WHIRRS)

-Oh, yeah, feel this bit. -Oh, yes.

Soph, that's gonna be dry in 10 minutes.

Salon dry.

And sure enough.

SOPHIE: Hey, feel this.

It's hot. But feel it.

Oh, my God, it's dry. That is unbelievable.

Is that using my initiative?

-HAMISH: Yep. -Great.

I've always wanted to use it.

Well, consider that skill box ticked, Soph.

(BLOWS)

Panel's great.

Then, I got a message

no panelbeater wants to hear mid-job.

That's not allowed.

The family are coming?

Who said they could do that?

It doesn't mean you can...

If my grandpa's having heart surgery,

I can't just walk into the operating theatre and go,

"He's my grandpa."

It's not last rites.

That's offensive.

But to be honest, even as a 44-year-old,

no-one likes it to be pointed out to them

that they're running late with their homework.

-Hi. -How are you?

So I did what I did at school.

I kind of tried to lie and charm my teachers.

First of all, we have adored working on Bertha.

We've really got to know her.

Just 'cause of... There's a lot of dust and poisonous fumes.

-DEE: Yeah! -AMELIA: Uh-huh.

And how familiar are you with body bog?

It's not good for the old lungs, but...

-DEE: Yeah. -AMELIA: Fair.

..as you can see...

-Well, it's all systems go. -Mm.

You remember the panel that old mate hit?

-COUPLE: Yeah. -Disaster, wasn't it?

-Yeah, it was... -Crumpled.

Stay here.

Then I decided to lie some more.

My logic was, if we could trick them

into thinking that this was brand-new,

then we had done good panelbeating.

In the end, I, and this is no cost to you,

had to get a brand-new one in a different colour.

-AMELIA: Wow. -And we're respraying it.

-Amazing. Alright. -Great.

-Look at that. Brand-new panel. -Wonderful. Good job.

Do you want to see the old panel?

-Yeah. -Yeah. She unbolted?

Uh, we don't have it anymore.

My complicated and confusing psychological trick had worked.

Um, yeah, so still five o'clock tomorrow with the mechanic?

-Sharp. -Sharp.

HAMISH: Easy-peasy.

It had been a big day and the team were feeling it.

DOM: I'm just mentally drained. How do you feel, Soph?

Yeah, we're using a different part of our brain

-that we haven't used before. -That's right.

SOPHIE: I think that's what it was.

-I feel like Cinderella. -DOM: You have to think.

-I don't normally think much. -Yeah.

But unfortunately, the thinking was far from over.

The most confusing part of the job is yet to come,

and that's...hot-rod quality,

professional-grade flames

on an early 2000 Toyota Estima.

And all that was gonna have to happen tomorrow.

It was D-day for Bertha and for us.

Not for Dave. He's just opening the door. Regular day for him.

But we got the vent on, we beat the panel,

but there would not be a roadworthy

unless we could pull off the paint.

The biggest wild card of the day.

Can we paint flames on a car to make it look like a hot rod?

We keep saying we can.

Yeah, I just keep thinking one of you can do flames.

Well, today we're gonna find out if one of us could.

Not getting distracted.

Can't even say hi, painting a door.

So with just seven hours to go,

we still needed

to sand the panel,

paint the panel the right silver,

dry the panel, re-attach the panel,

then decorate the panel with flames

and just ensure general roadworthiness.

Which is why I was surprised when Dom started gagging around.

Hamish, have you ever had a hammer-rhoid?

-What's that? -You ever had a hammer-rhoid?

(LAUGHS) Is this a great bit of high jinks

we don't have time for?

But it turns out Dom was arse-painfully serious.

My bum is heaps itchy.

-Oh, a haemorrhoid? -Yeah.

I thought you were gonna turn around

and you had a hammer stuck up your arse.

-Same! -No, no, no.

I thought it was a classic workshop prank.

(DOM LAUGHS)

No, I literally feel like...

Is that how a hammer-rhoid starts? Is it, like...

HAMISH: OK, just to be clear,

the medical condition is 'haemorrhoid'.

Oh, not 'hammer'?

That's why I thought you were doing a gag.

-DOM: Oh! -SOPHIE: Same.

What's it feel like when it first...when it comes on?

Mate. (LAUGHS) Is this for real? Is this for real?

-Yeah. -Are you worried medically?

I'm not worried, but it just hurts.

Alright, I'm gonna find some tape. Do we have any tape?

-Tape? -DOM: Yeah, sticky tape.

SOPHIE: I don't think that'll work.

Things still need to be moving down there.

-Yeah. Cool. -Sorry, mate.

You know what's cute? He feels, like, safe enough to tell us.

Yeah.

As a boss, that's a major tick, I think.

HAMISH: And you can't say this to your employees straightaway,

just in this day and age, but I mean it.

No matter the condition of your arsehole, I love you.

That's nice. Mm.

And while Dom tried to put his problems behind him...

Anusol.

..we sprayed the panel

the actual right shade of silver.

Thank you, Dino.

SOPHIE: Guys, that looks so good already.

It looks like a piece of jewellery.

-Let's get it in the oven. -Coming through.

Thanks to a trick that I wish was my idea

but was from YouTube, to dry the paint faster,

we put it in the truck, then cranked the heating to 40

and turned it into a mini oven.

-Amazing. Alright, shut her up. -HAMISH: Close the oven.

Let this baby cook.

But as time ticked away,

the pressure was starting to get to Soph.

What time is Dee and Amelia coming?

Uh, so the mechanic's 5:00, like, last thing of their day.

I guess Dee and Amelia will be here 4:30.

What's this?

-What? What do you mean? -DOM: What?

SOPHIE: What is... What are we doing?

-Oh, we should paint it? -Babe, I'm losing my mind.

HAMISH: What do you mean what's this?

SOPHIE: Where is this...

HAMISH: This is the Toyota Estima we've been working on.

-Where is this door from? -HAMISH: The car.

-(LAUGHS) What do you mean? -HAMISH: What do you mean?

What do you guys mean? What? I'm losing my mind.

-I'm going to check. -What is going on?

DOM: What's happening?

Have you given her brain haemorrhoids?

SOPHIE: Where have you got that door from?

HAMISH: Where have we got the door from?

-What are you talking about? -DOM: That's the door.

HAMISH: That's the door of the car.

SOPHIE: And you put it on?

-DOM: That's always been there. -Oh!

That's what we need to put back.

-That's what we repaired. -Oh, my God. Guys.

I was like, "How'd you get that back on without me?"

-(BLEEP) We can't let... -DOM: Oh, no!

-..the client see this. -Guys, I thought...

God, my attention to detail...

-It's a worry. -You're only one panel off.

By the time we cleared that up, it was 11:00am

and we really needed a plan to get this paint on.

But it's really just tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape.

-Sure. -Then we're gonna draw

-the flame shape. -Yep.

-Tape the outline. -Yep.

And then tape everything that's not the flame.

Awesome. We got a lot of work to do. Let's do it.

And it turns out painting isn't actually about painting.

It's mostly taping up everything else that isn't getting painted.

-That looks sick. -Doesn't it?

Not for the first time, we were very happy with ourselves.

DOM: Very Hot Wheels.

And also not for the first time,

turned out David had different thoughts.

This taping job's gonna take quite some time.

It's awkward. It's difficult.

There's lots of it.

They really need to get their act together

and pick up the pace

'cause they've got a lot of wasted time today

in waiting for paint to dry and those sorts of things,

so they really need to get cracking.

-DOM: Is this a good idea? -DAVID: Yes, it is.

-Yep. -But get your jimmy on.

-Get my what? -Your jimmy on.

-What's that? -Hurry up!

-SOPHIE: Oh. -(DOM LAUGHS)

I was hoping it was a haemorrhoid cramp.

I'll tell you who is helping get the jimmy on - the truck.

The Skillzmobile oven had luckily saved us hours.

Turn the oven off.

Don brought in the brand-new panel like a proud dad,

bringing his baby into a garage and not supporting its neck.

I can't believe that we actually did this, to be honest.

-Guys, check it. -(EPIC MUSIC)

-That's so nice. -And it matches.

They didn't write that number on the inside as a joke.

-DOM: No. -HAMISH: They meant it.

But could Dom get the panel

and all those bolts back on Bertha?

Could be a lot harder than I thought.

We had the idea of labelling the different screws.

I don't really know what it means.

So this one, "right tyre guard".

Not sure what that means. "Front connection to bumper".

I think I know what that one means.

"Mother Bolt and friend".

(BOTH CACKLE)

But to pass this roadworthy,

Mother Bolt and all her other friends

would need to go back home.

That was Mother Bolt, wasn't it? Which one was Mother Bolt?

DOM: Holy shit, Hamish.

Is it not as easy as you thought?

HAMISH: We're looking for some sort of satisfying click.

Click, yeah.

But after 30 minutes of pushing and pulling...

-Where's that satisfying click? -..the magic click was elusive.

Oh, yeah, that cl...

HAMISH AND DOM: Was that it?

-(METAL CLANKS) -(LOUD SNAP)

Disappointing click.

And as time slipped away, things got deep.

All our actions in life

will have consequences,

and when you beat something,

it changes shape and it won't go back.

Things change after a beating.

Oh!

But then sweet, sweet, rare progress.

-I reckon that first. -Oh!

-That first. Yes, yes, yes. -That first, then that.

And after another 30 minutes of puzzling and pushing,

Bertha was whole again.

That is great.

I think that's really not going anywhere.

OK, there was some bolts left over.

However, my policy on all the bolts being put in

was shifting slightly.

Do, like the, um, people

that check the cars to say they're roadworthy,

do they check how many bolts are there?

Mate...

Like, think about how many cars are out there.

Yeah, how can they check all the bolts?

They don't have to be perfect.

But luckily, Soph had done a near perfect job

taping up the other side.

And we finally got painting.

Customers coming, four hours.

Uh, mechanic coming four and a half hours.

Race against paint.

If you're gonna race paint, you gotta get it out of the can.

Paint can't dry in the can. Must be on the door.

-HAMISH: Got the yellow, Soph? -Got it.

SOPHIE: Oh, my gosh, this is so serious.

HAMISH: Yeah, that's great. That...

We don't want the red and yellow to touch.

-SOPHIE: Oh. -We want to stop red by there.

-SOPHIE: OK. -So I reckon, like...

-I don't want to be a... -SOPHIE: Do it.

Well, I just think it's gotta be, like...

I'm just gonna do the tiniest...

Oh, my wife's gonna love this.

What's worse than mansplaining?

-Oh! Quick, get the thing. -HAMISH: Oh, shit.

Mansplaining and stuffing it up.

Sorry, Soph. I really did butcher that. But on we go.

-Done. -Perfect.

We frantically taped up the other side.

-Ready to Hail Mary? -So badly.

I think this is gonna be beautiful.

And as the painting started...

That's lovely.

-That's so nice. -Yeah.

..so did the justifications.

HAMISH: This will trick the eye.

DOM: And flames are never consistent.

After a final flurry from Dom...

-Alright. -..it was the moment of truth.

Had our taping been effective?

DOM: Holy shit.

SOPHIE: Oh, no. I'm nervous. I'm not ready.

Careful.

I can't look. Is it OK?

Dino would be so proud.

That's so good, Hame.

So Hot Wheels.

That looks so good.

And with just minutes to spare,

we added the final classy touch to Bertha.

DOM: Wow!

And even in that chaos, a boss

must not forget about his employees' needs.

Mate, I've got a little something for you too

before we go and meet the team.

SOPHIE: Ohh...

Oh!

-My favourite brand. -(ALL LAUGH)

HAMISH: Don't eat it all at once.

Alright. Let's go meet the client.

Oh, yes!

Bertha was back.

We'd enhanced her ventilation,

restored that panel to near-perfect condition,

and made her damn cool for the kids.

Well, time to hear what Amelia, Dee and the kids loved most.

-(CLOWN HORN HONKS) -Probably the horn.

-HAMISH: Ah, there she is. -Yeah.

Keen to know your thoughts.

What was your vibe like when you saw her?

You did say it was a brand-new panel.

It's as new. It's good as new.

Slightly concerning, it looks like

it's a bit of a different colour to the rest of her.

Do you know what, it's 'cause that panel

is now mint condition

and the rest of her's sort of 20 years old.

It's still quite dented. Um...

We did learn how to do that yesterday.

HAMISH: No, no, no, no.

What Dom's saying is, like, it feels like...

We love this so much, it feels like yesterday we got into this.

That's what I meant.

Things were not going as we'd imagined.

You know, we gave her to you to, uh, make it,

you know, a little bit less backpack-y...

DOM: Mm-hm.

..and it seems like

she looks more like it came from a backpacker.

But...I love it.

-Oh, good. -Oh, great. OK.

-Emotional roller-coaster. -DEE: In a great way.

-In a great way. -Right.

-Yeah! -Well, 'cause, yeah...

-She wasn't perfect. -She wasn't perfect.

She's still probably not perfect.

But all in all, we are pretty happy,

but I think we would be happy

to settle on $750 for the final amount.

$750 in the bank is good.

But it is pending what the mechanic says.

Get your money ready.

I don't think she'll have a problem with it.

See you in a sec.

Fascinating game. Fascinating game.

Such an interesting business model, isn't it?

Like, A, letting the client decide how much it's worth,

and then B, and sometimes like this,

letting it all ride, all gamble on a yes/no/pass.

The roadworthiness and whether or not we get any of that $750

would be decided by Mel,

the, unfortunately for us, very serious mechanic.

So I can see that there's been a lot of bog.

Please stop poking it in there. We spent ages panelbeating that.

And she was being very thorough.

She's getting eyes on the vent.

-HAMISH: Ladder, ladder. -I can't watch.

Checking over everything.

Even the horn.

-Check the horn. -(CLOWN HORN HONKS)

And now our financial fate lay in her greasy mechanic's hands.

Sorry, that's unfair. I'm just panicking a bit.

She did have clean hands.

I assume everything's in order?

The ventilation looks good and it's well sealed.

-Awesome. -Dom's vent had got the tick.

And this right panel here,

there's been a lot of work, I can see.

More than you can possibly imagine.

But it is sound and roadworthy.

-Yes! -"Sound and roadworthy."

We had successfully deceived the eye.

Alright, just one box left to tick.

But the horn...

Bertha's crowning glory.

MEL: ..that is very illegal.

"Very illegal"?

The horn can't pass

because it's illegal in New South Wales

and Australia to have comedy horns.

-Uh! -But it's not funny.

Doesn't matter. It's illegal.

Who's defining 'comedy'?

'Cause we don't think it's funny.

This is a dark day for New South Wales

that they've been exposed as a state

that shames you for having a comedy horn.

And on top of that, it's not even that funny.

Look, to the letter of the law,

we shook on, if it passes, we get paid.

What if it passes tomorrow?

Time's up.

I stand by our work.

We're happy to walk away with the experience.

And professionally, we wouldn't change a thing.

Look, at the end of the day,

I'm not gonna blame this failure on Soph

for, as I remember it, forcing us to do the horn.

Let's put a funny honk in it. Let's put a funny honk in it.

And, yeah, I remember her saying it was legal,

sure, but what good is blaming?

Like, the horn is legal?

Is it? I haven't checked that, actually.

I don't think they would sell us one if it wasn't legal.

And should Dom have spoken up? In a perfect world, yes.

DOM: I do wonder if the horn's gonna be legal.

Too late to think about that, mate.

Look, all I'm saying is, junior staff make mistakes,

and I'm fine with that, 'cause you know what -

there's something more important than profit.

All that really matters is my staff's wellbeing.

I actually got a tube of Anusol.

Uh, I put a bit on, and it's already working wonders.

So life's good.

Next time on Unskilled Adult...

OK. Holy shit.

(SCOFFS) Oh, my God!

I've never cooked anything

that required really more than two hours of preparation.

-We have so much to do. -I'm at capacity.

(LAUGHS)

Were we at capacity today? Sure.

Will we redefine what 'capacity' means tomorrow?

Shit!

I have a hunch, almost certainly yes.

(SWEEPING BIG BAND MUSIC)