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What is with you, man?

Are you deliberately taking the most circuitous route possible?!

Would you rather we smashed up on the rocks, sir?

I don't care if she smashes upon the rocks and we're all eaten by the fishes.

Just land this godforsaken vessel and get me off!

I must try to remain cheerful.

Piss off, bastard! Back home! We don't want you here!

Hey! It's stuck! Oh, alright. Keep your hair on.

She's alright! Keep going!

Hello. Hello.

Oh, good, you brought lunch.

Mind your step, sweetheart. Easy as you go.

Thank you. Quarters are up that way.

Get my missus to make you a cup of tea.

Thank you.

Hey!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Do please try to be careful. That belonged to my mother.

How are you, sir? Welcome to South Solitary.

Ah, yes.

Right, let's get on with it.

Baa!

Baa!

Baa!

Shh. It's alright. It's alright

Hello.

What's your name? Nettie.

Hello, Nettie. I'm Meredith.

Baa! Ooh!

Would you like to meet my little friend?

It's an orphan, I'm afraid. Her mother died on the way over.

You're so sweet.

Would you like to do me a favour, Nettie?

Would you like to look after her, just for a little bit,

just till I get myself organised?

Alright.

The cottages are that way? Thank you.

Out of the way, miss. Excuse me, miss.

Got it.

Mum! Baa!

Mum, I got one! Hold onto it, boys.

Oh!

Thank God.

That's three weeks late, the supply ship. We could have just about starved.

We are that sick of mutton-bird, I can't tell you.

This is the sort of thing the department never takes into consideration.

They think, "Oh, there's plenty of mutton-bird on South Solitary.

"They won't starve."

But I tell you, I've boiled them, I've roasted them,

I've stewed those birds for hours on end.

Robbie, will you open the door for me?

Get in there! Baa!

Hello.

Baa!

You the wife? Oh, no!I'm the niece.

Mr Wadsworth - I mean, the new head keeper - he's my uncle.

I'm Meredith, Meredith Appleton.

Alma Stanley. I'm so pleased to meet you...

Will you stop that and go and catch the other sheep?

These are your quarters over here.

I've given them a good scrubbing-out,

but you'll probably want to go over them yourself

with some lysol and boiling water.

The previous head keeper left them in a bit of a state, I'm afraid.

He didn't... Oh, no, no, no.

Not in the house, which was awfully considerate of him.

No, he did it down in the tea-trees. Harry found him.

Gosh. What a terrible business.

Ah, well. What do you expect? He was a miserable bastard.

Look.

I might as well say this to your face.

The fact is, we're all pretty put out that Harry was passed over as the new HK,

given everything he's done for this island.

He's practically run this place single-handedly

for the past 18 months, without a word of complaint.

I see.

It's virtually a slap in the face. That's what it amounts to.

Oh, dear. I am sorry.

No-one's blaming you. You've got nothing to be sorry about.

Yes, but I-I-I feel sorry, you know, that it's happened.

Well, it's a bit late for that now, isn't it? You're here now. We're stuck with you.

Mum, we've got the other two! Get him, Tom!

I'm trying. Jump on him, you useless shits!

Don't take 'em down there, you idiot!

That's where they're running to!

This is the livestock pen as well, sir.

Oh, not to worry about the fence.

That's as they are, sir. Nothing to worry about there.

You mean to say you haven't bothered to rebuild them?

Well, we have rebuilt them, sir, many times,

but, well, the gales here, sir,

you really have to experience one to know...

So the poor dumb creatures are left to blunder freely about the island?

Surely they must plummet over cliffs and suchlike?

Well, we do try and tether them usually, sir.

Well, where are they? Where are our tethered sheep?

I'm not entirely sure as of this moment, sir.

There's one in our front parlour, sir.

Ah. Is it having a cup of tea?

No, sir.

A scone perhaps? Some buttered toast?

No, sir.

What about the other sheep? Why were they not invited to the tea party?

They went running off, sir... Shut up.

As I say, sir, normally, we do tether them.

In this instance, there's been a mishap...

Mishap, mistake, misdemeanour. They're all the same in my book.

Where is Mr Fleet?

I expect he's looking for the horse, sir.

Why is he not accompanying us on our tour of inspection?

I wasn't aware we were having a tour of inspection, sir.

Lord Johnson, sir - that's the horse - well, he's work-shy.

If he sees the supply ship, he runs off and hides.

We spend half the day looking for him.

I'm not sure you understand why I'm here, Mr Stanley.

I have been sent to South Solitary

because Mr Arden, the Superintendent of Lighthouses,

felt I was the only man in the entire Lighthouse Service

with sufficient experience to sort out the problems here.

"I don't care where Wadsworth's stationed.

"Pull him off at once and send him over."

Those were his exact words.

So, you see, I'm hardly here

to fuss about with runaway horses and tea parties.

Yes, sir.

Yes, alright. Start it up, Mr Fleet, thank you.

Magnificent lens, isn't she, sir?

Chance Brothers, of course, of the first order.

Most powerful light in the region, as a matter of fact.

When she's lit, of course, when somebody bothers to light her.

Beg pardon, sir?

You can shut that down now, Mr Fleet!

There's no need to feign ignorance, Mr Stanley.

You're well aware, I'm sure,

of the various complaints made to the superintendent

regarding the operation of this lighthouse?

What, that couple of times the light went out?

Couple of times? Oh, no.

It was a good deal more serious than that.

I have here a letter from Mr Arden, the Superintendent of Lighthouses,

which details a number of very serious allegations against this station.

Mopsy, read us the exact dates and incidents.

"13 April 1926.

"The 'Trinity Star' reports South Solitary light fading

"then disappearing altogether around 3am."

"28 July 1926.

"South Solitary light reported out

"by the 'Me-Wan-Moon', also the 'Indian Princess'."

Amazing, isn't it?

Don't see a single ship from one week to the next.

Yet the minute the light goes out...

"1 January 1927.

"The 'Loch Aire' reports South Solitary light flashing out of character."

Flashing out of character.

In all my years of service, I have never heard of such a thing.

Well, that last one, sir, I freely admit that. That was my fault.

What happened was I got my arm caught in the mechanism.

Unfortunately, sir, try as I might, I was unable to free myself.

I had to basically just hang there till Fleet showed up for his watch.

I was in quite some physical discomfort too, sir, as you can imagine.

Had you been drinking?

I won't lie to you, sir.

I had had a couple of drinks, it being New Year's Eve.

Well, I have no choice but to report this to the superintendent.

We shall see what he makes of it.

I must warn you, however,

that insobriety is an offence usually punishable by dismissal.

Well, as HK, sir, that's your... that's your business, what you write.

I mean, alright, I had had a couple of drinks,

but, well, it's not as if we get a night off, is it, sir?

I mean, we do try and observe some festivities.

Move. Even though we're stuck here on...

Stuck here on the arsehole of the earth.

Make a note of it, Mopsy.

Hello there! I was just going to come and find you!

Has she been a good girl?

Oh, and look. She's wearing a baby's bonnet. How sweet.

Mum said she can sleep by the stove, so I've made her up a little bed.

Oh, well, actually, Nettie,

I was rather hoping she would sleep in my cottage.

She is my lamb, after all.

I suppose we could both look after her, couldn't we?

Two mothers are better than one, I'm sure.

You know, we're going to have to think of a name for her.

I was thinking maybe Lucille. Lucille?

Yes. That's rather a glamorous name, isn't it, for a sheep?

I had another sheep once named Lucille.

Oh, yes? What happened to her? We et her.

Ah.

Don't force her, Nettie. I'm not forcing her!

It's just that she might have a little bit of colic.

No! Oh!

Ah! I thought you'd forgotten me.

I'm sorry. I've had a terrible time trying to get the stove going.

Oh, dear. Well...

I'm afraid your tea's not quite as hot as it could be.

Just bread and dripping for supper, I'm afraid.

Oh, God.

I haven't had time to unpack all the stores yet.

Undrinkable. I'm awfully sorry.

I'll have it all sorted out by tomorrow, I promise.

Sit down for a while.

In fact, you may as well stay now till the end of my shift.

What the devil is going on? Light me a hurricane lamp at once.

Oh, what now?

I meant to warn you about this, sir. Nothing to worry about. It'll be Fleet, sir.

What? What are you talking about?

Didn't think he'd spring it on your first night, sir.

Where is he? Well, he's up tower, sir.

Occasionally this happens. He's still a bit bomb-happy, I'm afraid.

Bomb-happy? Ah, dear. Well, come on, then.

What, a returned soldier, then, is he?

Yes, sir. Must have been blown up once too often, I'd say.

Then what the devil is he doing in the service...

Good morning, Uncle. Good morning.

Have you been up the tower all this time?

Well, someone had to finish the man's shift for him.

He was certainly in no fit state.

Have you got the stove working yet? I think so.

Oh, then I'll have my porridge and two eggs, thank you,

with a hot pot of tea.

Sufficiently hot that it's in danger of scalding the roof of my mouth.

Do you think that might be possible?

Yes, Uncle. Good, then.

I'm sorry, babies. I'm sorry.

Good morning, Nettie.

How's Lucille this morning? She's good.

Oooh.

What treasures do you have in there? Just my scabs.

Your which? My scabs.

How interesting.

May I see?

Goodness. Are these all yours?

And how did you come to acquire this beauty?

Fell over.

And this one?

Fell over.

Gosh.

How fascinating, each scab with its own tale to tell.

So, tell me, what message do you write?

"All well at South Solitary."

That way, the folks on the mainland know we're alive, at least.

I see. And do you send that message every day?

Not every day. Not the day Mr Grimshaw topped himself, we didn't.

No.

No, I suppose it would hardly be appropriate in that instance.

"Dear sir,

"Today, our head keeper blasted his head off with a stick of gelignite."

Bits were hanging off trees, you know.

Go, birds! Fly!

Ooh! Off they go on their mission, brave little birds.

Do they do that often? Sometimes.

And this is the system of emergency communication on which we rely?

There's also the signal flags.

God help us.

Is your uncle in?

Yes. Come in.

Uncle.

Excuse me, Mr Wadsworth, sir.

Yes?

I just wanted to explain myself, sir, about last night.

I'll go, shall I? No.

You have your duties to fulfil, like anyone else.

What is it you wish to say to me, Mr Fleet?

I wanted to apologise, sir,

and vouch that what happened last night won't happen again.

And how can you be sure of that, Mr Fleet?

I am led to believe that this kind of episode

is a reasonably frequent occurrence with you.

No, sir. No. It has happened before, sir, but it's not frequent, no.

Are you a dipsomaniac? No, sir. I never drink, sir.

Well, then, clearly, there's some kind of flaw or weakness

in your mental composition

that renders you unfit for lighthouse service.

On what account were you discharged from the military?

On account of my wounds, sir.

Was that the only reason? Yes, sir.

But your nerves went. That's obvious.

Your mind snapped, or some such.

Well, it shall all go into the report.

I see no reason to spare the superintendent any details.

And I've no doubt that he will wish to make further inquiries of his own.

In the meantime, you may resume your station duties.

Yes, sir.

And if there's any repeat of the kind of episode I witnessed last night,

you will be suspended from all duties and removed from the island.

There'll be no repeat, sir.

Thank you, sir.

What are you typing? Oh! Good heavens.

Nettie! Don't you knock?

I did knock. You just didn't hear me over that racket.

Did you use to be a secretary or something?

Oh, no, just a typist.

I wanted to be a secretary, but you had to have shorthand.

Make sure you learn shorthand, Nettie.

It will get you ahead in life.

Oh, no. I'll probably just get married.

Who's this?

That was my fiancé. His name was Will.

What happened to him?

He died, I'm afraid, in the war.

No offence, but he's sort of funny-looking.

His ears stick out.

What's that noise?

How can they still be alive?

Fly away, stupid birds! Fly away!

Come here.

Can you manage? Ow!

Little buggers are pecking me!

Hello there.

Oh, jeez.

Oh, what a bunch of squealers. Must be little girls.

Hold the ladder for me, will you?

Be a pity if I went arse over teacups now.

Righto.

Ta.

Ohhh! There we go.

Look at them!

Can I keep them, Dad, please? That'd be right, Nettie.

They'd be dead in a day, wouldn't they? No, they wouldn't!

She kills them with kindness, this one.

Actually, sometimes not even kindness. She just kills 'em.

Oh, Nettie, I think what your father means

is babies this little need their mother to look after them.

You see how she's watching us?

I do hope she goes back to them.

They sometimes don't, do they, if you disturb the nest.

I'll tell you what we'll do. Oi.

We'll put 'em down in the old melaleuca.

That way, she'll be able to see what we're doing.

It's reasonably protected down there.

Eh! Give it here.

You better hang onto that, Meredith, I think.

Lead the way, Nettie. Go on.

Babies.

Baa!

Not so bad, is it, when it stops raining for a minute?

It's lovely.

Such is the life of the lighthouse keeper -

unrelenting drudgery and tedium, but you do catch the odd nice sunset.

Have you been here long, then? Too long. Six months to go.

Where will you go next, do you know?

Oh, I'm gonna try and get on one of the mainland stations.

Send the kids to school would be good.

I don't wanna go to school!

Yeah, I know you don't, but you have to.

See, this is no place for a family.

It's too bloody isolated.

That's why you get all the nutters, like Fleet, for example.

He's been here eight years, on a 2-year station.

Eight years? Oh, yeah.

He keeps requesting to stay on.

Of course, no-one else is begging for the job, so they let him.

Never mind that he's always seeing distress flares.

He sees distress flares?

Well, that's what that business was about the other night.

Grimshaw was just as bad.

They're back from the war and feeble-minded,

they send 'em straight to South Solitary.

It's like a bloody sanatorium here.

In Fleet's case, I mean... You got to wonder, don't you?

I mean, couldn't get much further away from Old Blighty out here, could you?

What do you mean?

Well, I mean, desertion,

self-inflicted wounds, what have you,

it's all punishable by execution over there, isn't it?

Gutless wonder, gutless wonder,

Mr Fleet was scared of thunder.

Went to France and soiled his pants...

Alright, alright, shut up. That's enough.

And then he did a chunder.

Take that off your hands.

Thank you.

Where we gonna put him?

Here's your uncle wondering why the light went out occasionally.

I mean...it's a bloody miracle it was even lit half the time.

What do you reckon, Nettie? Yeah, that's good.

Argh! Oh!

Whoa!

Trying to scare us? Gonna scare us?

Ah! Here again, some 10 months later.

"July 28. Lit up. All correct.

"11pm, light out. Called Assistant Fleet.

"Changed burner, put on another vaporiser. All going correct, 12:30."

Never mind the fact that the light has been out for half the night

while they muddle about with burners and vaporisers!

What's your problem there?

I don't know, I seem to be making a frightful hash of this heel.

Give it here.

Oh, what have you done?

You know, it comes as scant surprise to me

that shipping has all but abandoned this route.

Imagine the uncertainty.

South Solitary may be operational or it may not.

Yes. Although I suppose, in fairness, these were isolated incidents.

What's that?

I suppose, in fairness, these were isolated incidents

which could happen anywhere, really-

trouble with the vaporisers and suchlike.

Tell that to the swollen corpses

that come washing up on the rocks below,

their clothes ripped away by the sea.

No fingers left, nor toes, after the fish have been at them.

No dignity for them in death, nor even means of identification.

Perhaps, if you're lucky, there might be some small item,

perhaps a signet ring, to bring comfort to the family.

Yes, although I don't see how they could be wearing a signet ring

if they didn't have any fingers.

Go to bed.

You're too old to behave like a schoolgirl. It doesn't become you.

Rattles!

Rattles!

Rattles, you silly cow, come back.

I've got you now.

What's this cake got in it?

Dripping?

Yes, instead of butter.

It's quite a useful recipe if you run a bit short.

Except it tastes like dripping.

Yes, I suppose so.

So, tell me, what are you doing

rattling around lighthouses with your uncle?

Why aren't you married?

Oh! Well, er...

I never met the right fellow, I suppose.

I've got news for you.

You're never gonna meet the right fellow

while stuck on a rock in the middle of the ocean.

Oh, that's alright. I'm not really expecting to meet anyone these days.

Still, you haven't got time to muck around,

especially if you want to start a family.

Well...

Unfortunately, you see, I...

..I'm not able to have children, so...

Why not?

Well, I...

I have a problem with my...insides.

I don't have a womb, as such.

No womb? No.

How come?

Well, it's all rather distressing.

Were you born like that? No. No.

I...I...

I was born with a...womb,

a perfectly good womb, in fact,

but, unfortunately, I...

..I had to have an operation several years back

and...there were complications.

And...

..in the end, they...they...

..they basically had to remove everything.

You were up the spout, is that it?

I was, you know, very young and foolish.

How young? Well, I was 29.

That's not young.

I suppose not.

So why couldn't you just have got married?

Well...

That wasn't possible, I'm afraid.

Why not?

He was already married.

I see.

Oh, you're so sweet.

Well, I still say it's no life for you here.

You'll end up like Elspeth Tanner.

Remember her, Nettie?

She was on Tasman Island. Did you ever get stationed there?

No.

HK's daughter, never married, like yourself.

Her only interest in life was waving at ships.

Didn't matter if it was raining or hailing, there she'd be, all day long,

out on that cliff top, waving her little hanky.

She would have stayed out there all night, but her father put his foot down.

Had she been disappointed in love or something?

No, I don't think so. Just liked waving at ships.

Well, I hardly think I... I hardly think I'm in that league.

'E'.

'R'.

Error! Start again, from the beginning, Mr Stanley.

Crikey. This'd be a lot easier if I knew how to spell.

Make the 'error' signal! Prevent confusion!

They'll have no idea what you're doing out there!

They'll have passed away from old age by the time I get this message out.

Be like the ancient mariner.

They'll have beards down to their knees.

They'll be saying, "Crikey, has he finished that message yet?"

Yes, well, enough of that. Now, start again from the beginning.

About here? 'We'... Up.

That's better.

'W'... 'We'...

Ohhh.

Sorry. Were you in bed? No.

I was just in the bath, actually.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I'll let you get back to it. No, that's alright.

I was just out for a walk and, uh, saw your light was on,

and I thought, "Gee, she must get a bit lonely when Uncle's up tower,"

so I thought I'd just check up on you.

Oh! That's very kind of you.

Everything alright? Yes, thank you.

Would you like to come in?

Is that alright?

Of course.

Would...would Alma care to join us?

No, no, she's...she's busy.

Doing the tea dishes.

No, I...I like to go for a walk around this time,

get out of the house, bit of fresh air, before my shift.

Would you like a...cup of tea or an Ovaltine perhaps?

I actually thought maybe something else.

Tell you what. Warm up some milk and we'll have a little drop in our milk.

Like a nightcap. Warm our insides.

Well, alright. Will powdered milk do?

Powdered milk will be perfect, Mopsy.

You know, you really mustn't mind my uncle, Mr Stanley.

I know he can seem rather old-fashioned

and he can be a terrible stickler for things being done by the book, but...

..underneath it all, he really is very decent and fair.

Who's complaining? I think he's terrific.

No, we needed a good shake-up.

You type? Oh, just my uncle's paperwork.

Letters to the superintendent and suchlike?

Well...yes.

Well, put in a good word for me, will you?

Nah, just joking! Though it might save me my job, though, of course.

Hope you don't mind me saying this, Meredith, but, um,

gee, you brighten the place up.

Really? Oh, my word.

Always got a nice smile, pleasant manner.

My little girl thinks the world of you.

Because...

Well, Alma's not...not affectionate, never really has been.

That's just the way she is, you know. It's...

I'm used to it, I suppose.

But little Nettie, oh, she really appreciates that sort of thing.

Well, she's a lovely girl. I've grown terribly fond of her.

Yeah, yeah, she's alright. Animal-mad, of course.

You know, you're a sight for sore eyes in that dressing-gown.

Is...is that satin?

Not real satin. Satin viscose, I think.

I wouldn't normally wear something this fancy.

I have a much more sensible dressing-gown I normally wear.

It's just, I was having my bath,

and I felt like using all my nicest things just to...

You know, I wish you'd stop mentioning the bath,

because every time you mention it, I...I get this picture in my head.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you.

That's alright.

But you're making things very difficult for me. You realise that?

I didn't realise that.

You hadn't noticed my feelings for you?

No.

Well, that's good.

I was...I was worried everyone would notice.

It's pretty awkward on a small station like this.

Well, particularly since you're married.

Need to bring that up?

I'll just say this one thing, Meredith.

Not all marriages are made in heaven.

Why don't you come and sit down a minute?

Milk can look after itself, can't it?

I suppose so. It's just that it can get a little bit lumpy, that's all.

I don't mind it lumpy. I like it lumpy.

Come here and sit down a moment.

I've gone and got you all worried now, haven't I?

No! No.

It's quite flattering, really.

I just hope I haven't led you on in some way.

Oh, no.

No, you haven't led me on.

These things happen.

That's all.

Feelings arise.

Anyway, don't you like me too, just a little bit?

Well, of course.

You've always been very pleasant.

Yeah, but I mean... like me in the other way.

What other way?

Oh.

See, now I think you are leading me on.

Oh! There's the milk boiling.

Let it boil.

It's just that it makes a terrible mess...

Is that you, Mopsy?

Yes, Uncle.

You're late.

I know. I'm sorry.

Trouble with the stove again.

Leave it. I'll do it myself.

Hello there!

All well at South Solitary?

Well!

Look at that. Off they go!

I just hope she doesn't get them.

She's always hanging about. She gives me the shits.

And how's Lucille today? I don't know.

You don't know? She took off.

When did this happen? Yesterday.

You mean she was out all last night? It was barely 30 degrees!

You know, if you couldn't be bothered to look after her properly,

you should have given her back to me.

Mum said she'd be fine.

She can't fend for herself yet.

You know that!

She's probably dead already, and you've only got yourself to blame!

I certainly hope you're pleased with yourself.

I've got a good mind to give you another scab to add to your collection.

Excuse me!

I've lost my lamb. Have you seen her at all?

Your what? My lamb. A small white fleecy lamb.

You know, you could improve matters for yourself if you at least tried to be civil.

It wouldn't kill you, you know.

Oh. Um...

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb.

Hello there.

Been out for a walk, have you? Uh...

Yes. I was just out looking for the lamb.

Nettie tells me she ran off yesterday, and I was just...I was...

..I was hoping I might be able to find her.

Be gone for good, I'm afraid.

Wouldn't be the first sheep we lost neither.

They fall down holes.

Holes? Oh, yes.

You want to be careful where you walk.

You might fall down a hole on top of a sheep.

Alright, then.

I'll...I'll bear that in mind. Thank you.

Ah. Only three minutes late tonight.

Good evening, guv.

Hello there.

Having a late one tonight?

Yes, I suppose I am. Sometimes I just get so absorbed in my knitting.

How is it, sir? All running correct?

Yes, all running correct.

How did you and Fleet go scraping down the balcony?

Did you finish it? More or less, sir.

Well, then, you can start on the painting tomorrow.

Thursdays, we usually do the glasswork, sir.

Yes, I realise that, but it looks to be fine tomorrow,

so we may as well take advantage of the clement weather.

Yes, sir.

We're not polishing something, we're painting it, aren't we, sir?

That's the lighthouse life.

Yes, well. Goodnight, then. Goodnight, sir.

Goodnight, Mopsy. Goodnight!

Come along, then, Meredith!

Shut up!

Hello there!

Is this your secret hideaway?

What are you playing?

Poker.

No luck finding Lucille, I'm afraid, Nettie. I've been right over the island.

Nettie, I'm awfully sorry I got cross the other day.

I...I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I-I don't know what got into me.

I do hope we can still be friends.

Excuse me, miss, have you used your bath yet?

Yes, I've used my bath. Why do you ask?

No reason, miss. Just... Ignore him.

Well, I can see there's no point continuing this conversation.

Good morning.

Have you been milking the cow again?

Yes. She doesn't have much milk, I'm afraid.

She's actually our cow, you know.

Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't realise.

I thought she belonged to the whole station.

No, that's not correct. She's our cow. We brought her here.

Would you... Do you want the milk, then?

Well, I dare say, since I do have children to nourish.

Yes, by all means, you take it.

Nettie!

Go home, Nettie!

Go on! On your bike!

Mum told me to come and get you.

Tell your mother... tell her I'll be home in a minute.

She's not very happy!

Well, what else is new?

She's gone up the tower to tell Mr Wadsworth.

Jesus.

Slut.

Have you heard the rumours? The lady lost her bloomers.

She left them in the garden shed...

That's alright, birds. It was a lie anyway.

Uncle! What about your lunch?

Uncle, are you going to stop for lunch?

It's no use! I can't move it!

Look at the state of the track.

No maintenance, leave it to rot in the weather. Now see what happens.

Perhaps if you took off some of its load?

You would do well to keep your suggestions to yourself.

Do you realise the predicament you've placed us in?

One keeper short and no replacement!

I had thought that that other business

was a momentary lapse, an aberration,

but now I see it's you, the sort of person you are,

a person completely without honour.

Uncle, I have some stew for you.

I'm just going to lie down for five minutes.

Uncle?

Uncle, it's almost 5:30.

Go and tell Fleet to take the first shift.

Are you alright?

I'm alright. It's just a bout of dyspepsia.

Can I...can I get you a bicarbonate of s...

You can get out of here and stop bothering me!

Do as you're told, for God's sake - go and tell Fleet!

Who is it? It's Meredith.

My uncle asked if you would take the first shift, please.

Alright.

Thank you.

Uncle, I think we should try to get you a doctor.

No. No doctor.

Uncle, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I know it's dark, I know there's a storm coming,

but you have to fly this time.

Ohh!

Uncle?

Uncle, it's almost time for your shift.

What shall I tell Mr Fleet?

Are you asleep?

I'm here to relieve you. My uncle will be along shortly.

Alright.

Tell your uncle the burner fired before.

I wrote it up in the logbook.

He might want to keep an eye on it. Yes, alright.

Goodnight, then.

Goodnight.

Burner fire. What the hell is burner fire?

Keep an eye on what, exactly? What am I supposed to keep an eye on?

Jesus!

Maybe I've fixed it.

Fire!

Oh, God!

Where's the lamp? Where's the lamp?

Where the hell's the lamp? Where's the goddamn lamp?

Where's the lamp? Can't see a thing. Where's the lamp?

Hah! Lamp, lamp, lamp.

Where's the matches? Where's the matches?

Where's the matches?

Where's the God's sake matches?!

Ah!

Oh. Oh!

Oh.

Oh, God. I've drowned it.

Oh. Oh, God.

What's happened? Ah! The light's out!

I can see that. Where's your uncle? He's sick, so I'm taking his shift.

But then the lamp caught fire. Caught fire?

Yeah. But I doused it with the teapot. You did what?!

Well...it was all I had at hand!

Should I have let the whole structure burn to the ground?

Alright, then. Next time, I will!

You made a mess of that light.

I'm sorry.

You should have made the situation clear to me.

I would have stood your uncle's watch.

Is he still poorly?

He's dead.

That's no good.

No.

What should I do?

We'll just have to try and signal a ship, I suppose.

How do we do that exactly? It's alright. I'll see to it.

Excuse me.

Isn't that the 'V' flag? Yes.

"Require assistance"? Is that all?

Shouldn't it be the 'N' and 'C' flags?

That's the distress signal. We're not in distress.

I'm in distress. I'm in a great deal of distress. Hadn't you noticed?

Have you sent off some pigeons? No, I haven't.

I was just about to.

They will be terribly effective, I'm sure.

Fly! Fly, you fat bastards!

You keep a supply of coffin boards?

The department sent us those, after Grimshaw died.

Goodness.

They're obviously anticipating some sort of massacre.

Possibly an invasion of some sort.

I didn't know what to bury him in.

And then I thought, well...

..it has to be his jacket.

He always felt light keepers should have a uniform, you see,

so he had this one specially made up.

And I think he...

..I think he would wish to be buried in it.

The odd thing is, he looks so disapproving.

I always thought that people would seem somehow peaceful when they died,

but look at him.

We'll have to tip it on its side.

We can't tip it on its side!

Well, how else are we going to do it?

You know, Mr Fleet, he was not a big man.

I don't understand why he has a big coffin.

They sent us the one size only.

Nevertheless.

You know, there's a chance we might not be able to attract a ship.

In time to bury him, I mean. In time to bury him on the mainland.

Really?

Well, we didn't have much luck with Mr Grimshaw.

What did you do, then?

We tried to...

..preserve his body while we waited.

How did you do that?

Just mixed up a brine solution in the bathtub.

Pretty much as you'd salt a side of beef.

In the bathtub? Yes.

Which bathtub?

Your bathtub.

Did it work?

Not so well.

Walk up.

Good morning. Morning.

You know, Mr Fleet, this business with Mr Grimshaw,

how long did he remain in...in my...

..in my bathtub?

Oh, I can't quite remember.

A day or two? A week?

Maybe about...nine days.

Nine days?

You know, I wish someone had mentioned this to me earlier.

Did anyone not think I should probably like to have a bath sometime?

Well, I did tell you.

Yes. But my point is, I learned about it very late in the piece.

Have you had a bath already?

Of course I've had a bath already. I've had several baths already.

There was no harm done to you, was there?

Well, only because I didn't know

there'd been a dead person soaking in it previously.

"The days of man are but as grass.

"He flourishes like the flower of the field.

"When the wind passes over, it is gone,

"and its place will know of it no more."

I don't find that particularly comforting. Do you?

It's basically saying, "Bad luck!

"When you are dead, you are gone and forgotten."

And yet, this book suggests

it's the appropriate passage for the passing of a loved one.

I mean, is that the best they could come up with?

Did you want me to say a few words about your uncle?

No.

You hardly knew him. What could you possibly say?

I...I just thought...

..a eulogy of some sort is customary,

and if you were finding it too... too difficult...

It's all in here. That's all.

Do I have to say everything out loud?

My uncle was the only person I had in this world, Mr Fleet.

Did you realise that?

He took me in when I had nowhere else to go.

He could be a very...

..difficult man sometimes...

..but if you knew my history, you'd realise that he was perfectly, perfectly entitled.

I have many regrets, but the worst of them all is his disappointment in me.

As you say, I did not know him well.

However, I thought him to be a very good light keeper.

Yes.

Yes, he was.

He was a very good light keeper.

Thank you for mentioning that.

Light the mantle.

Gosh, it's awfully pretty, isn't it? Yes.

I'll have to oversee things, of course, for a while.

Yes. Of course.

Thank you, Mr Fleet.

Whereabouts did you serve during the war, Mr Fleet,

if you don't mind my asking.

I don't usually talk about these things with folk.

I see.

Why not?

Some things are best not dwelt upon.

I suppose so.

Although I find myself, the more one tries not to dwell on

certain unpleasant aspects of one's life,

the more they keep jumping up and screaming at you.

We'll get along alright if you don't keep forcing yourself upon me!

Alright, then.

I'll just sit here very quietly till the end of my shift.

You won't hear another peep out of me.

Please forgive me for endeavouring to have a conversation.

Excuse me, Mr Fleet.

You obviously think that I'm the sort of person

that likes to poke my nose into other people's business

when I asked you that question last night.

But it's only that I had a...a friend go over there, you see.

Well...

More than a friend. We were practically engaged.

He'd only just got there. He'd been there barely a week.

And they had to go over the trenches for some reason,

with the Germans 30 yards away.

And I'd just sent him a letter, and they sent it right back to me,

and all over it, they stamped, "Killed in action. Killed in action."

How do you like that?

Whereabouts was he?

It was at a...

..a place near somewhere called Villers-Bretonneux.

But I'm not quite sure how you pronounce it.

Were you ever near there at all?

No.

No, I was not.

I think Grimshaw may have been there.

Was he?

Do...do you know which battalion?

No, I do not.

I wonder if they...

I wonder if they knew each other at all.

Anyway, I just...wanted to explain myself, you see. That's all.

I saw you were getting low.

I was getting low.

That's... awfully considerate of you.

I...I don't much like the look of this weather.

Really?

We might be in for a bit of a rough spell.

Right.

Gosh.

Just when I got the washing out.

I meant to say also, about this bath business...

..you could use the bathtub in my quarters.

I would stay out, of course. I mean, out of the house.

Thank you, Mr Fleet.

But I think I was probably making a bit of a fuss over nothing.

"Wind force 10"? Isn't that what you call a whole gale?

You just have to watch with the tower swaying like this.

On occasion, it's caused the mantle to split.

The tower is swaying?

It won't topple over, will it? Well, it's never toppled over yet.

Because that would just about cap things off,

if the lighthouse were to fall over with me in it.

You know, I'm not sure you have the mettle to be a light keeper.

Gosh. I wonder how the animals are faring in all this.

Get away from the window! What?

Oh!

What comes after "whole gale" on the Beaufort scale?

You have a "whole gale with hurricane squalls".

And then what, after that?

Then you have the hurricane.

What do we have?

I think perhaps tonight you should stay in the tower.

You embroider?

May I see?

Gosh.

That's awfully good.

Whenever I try to embroider anything,

it always ends up looking like the dog might have done it.

That's one thing about being a light keeper.

You have plenty of time to get good at things.

I suppose so.

Do you like the lighthouse life, Mr Fleet?

Oh, it suits me, I suppose.

You see, it doesn't suit me at all.

I'm the worst person to be stuck on a place like this.

I need company, you see. I...

I can't stand all this rattling around on your own all the time.

Don't you just go mad from the loneliness?

I'm used to it.

Being used to it doesn't mean you enjoy it.

I don't need company like you do.

I'm not good with company.

I'm better off without it.

You're just out of practice, that's all.

I sometimes think I would be happy just to have a small, furry animal,

perhaps a nice little spaniel with floppy ears,

just a little warm body to sit on my lap.

Has it eased off at all?

They usually take a day or two to blow themselves out.

Is it safe to go outside, do you think?

I wouldn't.

I might go out later and check the horse and the birds,

but not just yet.

It's just...I need to use the privy.

Couldn't you use the, er...

..the chamber pot?

It's full.

I could empty it.

No, I can't, I'm afraid. I need to use the outhouse.

Preferably as soon as possible.

Take my arm!

Whoa!

Watch out.

Do you still want to use it?

Will you look the other way? What?

Will you look the other way? Yes.

No, no.

Always begin a message with the 'attention' signal -

wave your flags up and down.

Oh. Rightio.

Yes.

This is good, isn't it?

There'll be no need for us to ever actually talk to each other.

We can simply communicate through semaphore.

Is that your first word?

Yes. Did you get it?

'Ungertly'?

Not 'ungertly' - 'urgently'. You spelt 'ungertly'.

I don't think so. I think I know how to spell 'urgently'.

Oh. I see what you mean.

I think some more practice is required.

Would, er...

Would you be offended if I pulled that out?

Is it that bad? No, it's not.

No. It's not bad at all for a first try.

But you're going to pull it out.

I'm going to pull it out.

You know, you should have a sleep while I take the first shift.

I'm alright.

You have to sleep. You haven't slept since we've been in here.

I don't need much sleep.

What are you, the undead?

Of course you need sleep. Everybody needs sleep.

I'll sleep when I need to, so shut up about it.

Am I not to be trusted on my own? Is that it?

May I say something, Mr Fleet?

It's been troubling me that what you know of the...

..of the circumstances surrounding the Stanleys' departure might...

..well, might not cast me in a very favourable light.

Well, whatever you've heard, Mr Fleet, I want you to know

that I truly am a decent person.

But if I have a weakness,

it's that sometimes I get sort of desperate for affection.

I don't know anything about why the Stanleys left.

Nothing at all?

No.

But you must have wondered, surely? It's none of my business.

Well, in fact, I have to correct you there, Mr Fleet.

I am your business now.

If two people are stuck together on a rock in the middle of the ocean,

then they have to become each other's business,

because otherwise they might just as well cease to exist.

It's...it's like that thing about the wind blowing

and suddenly there's no trace of you,

except that's supposed to be when you're dead,

and as a matter of fact, Mr Fleet, I'm actually still alive.

Well?

What?

What do you mean, 'what'?

What do you want me to say to you?

I don't understand what you expect of me.

Well, just some sort of formal acknowledgment that I exist, for a start!

I'm sorry.

I was ranting again.

That's alright.

Mr Fleet?

Mr Fleet?

Mr Fleet?

Mr Fleet?

Oh, God. What are you doing?

No!

I had to do it.

I couldn't stand it.

No-one could listen to that.

What are you talking about?

Ah...

I saw something. What?

I think...

No, I'm sure it was. A ship's flare.

You mean a distress flare?

You saw it too. No. No, I didn't. But...

What... What are you doing?

I have to put the boat out.

But you can't, not in this weather!

I can't just sit by!

But that's madness!

There aren't any ships! We never see any ships!

There's nothing out there, Mr Fleet!

Hello!

All going correct?

Yes.

You know, I'm awfully relieved to see you.

I've been...

I've been looking for you all day. I was terrified something had happened to you.

Thought I'd be the only one left.

Wouldn't reflect very well on me, would it?

All these keepers coming to an unhappy end, one after the other.

Mr Fleet, I'm awfully sorry if anything I said last night...

You can go now.

What?

Your shift is over. You can go.

Alright.

What are you doing with that flag?

I think possibly...

..possibly I'm dragging my anchor.

Isn't that what the 'Y' flag means?

It's against regulations to use flags for decorative purposes.

Well, you could hardly say it's very decorative.

You should put it back where it belongs.

Yes.

Yes, I suppose there's always the chance

the lighthouse might one day break free of its moorings

and start drifting out to sea.

I must put the 'Y' flag back in readiness for that eventuality.

Lucille?

Lucille!

Lucille.

Oh.

Lucille. Baaa!

Lucille?

You remember me.

Lucille.

You're such a big girl now.

Maa!

Baa!

For God's sake, Lucille! Baa!

You alright down there?

Baa! Yes, thank you!

I'm perfectly fine!

Baa!

There we go.

Have you got something to tether her?

No, I don't, actually.

Here. Use this.

You alright?

Yes. I'm alright.

If perhaps a little damp.

What about you? No, I'm not damp.

No, I didn't mean that. I meant, are you alright?

Yes, I'm alright.

Well...

That's very good news. I'm glad to hear it.

I never know where I am with you from one moment to the next.

Well, I did warn you I'm not fit for company.

That's not true, you see.

You are fit for company. No.

You've been just about the best company I could have hoped for.

No.

What do you mean, 'no'?

I can't do it, you see. I...

I just don't seem to be good with people.

Why not?

Well, you... you've seen what happens.

The other night?

That was just some sort of visual disturbance, surely.

Does it happen often?

Too often.

Just...out of the blue like that?

Usually when I'm most anxious that it shouldn't.

Why were you anxious that it shouldn't?

Because I didn't want you to see me like that.

Well, I've...

..seen you like that now,

and it wasn't so bad.

Baa!

Here.

You should have my jacket.

I just hope your trousers don't fall down.

Me too.

When are they landing? First light.

You should probably start packing.

Tell them to go away.

Go on - use the semaphore flags!

I'll do it myself. No.

What are you doing?

I don't want to go. That's obvious, isn't it?

How much more obvious do I have to make it?

I want to stay here with you.

I've got nothing out there. I've got nobody.

And here, well, I've got...I've got...

I mean, you and me, we've done well together, don't you think,

given our circumstances?

We've forged a kind of companionship,

which is more...more than most people could hope for.

That's alright.

I know how it is with you. Forget I said anything.

Come on.

Come on, my friend. Let's go.

We have work to do. Don't be like that.

That's the way.

Can I have Lucille, please?

You're taking the sheep? Baa!

Won't that make it difficult to find lodgings?

I don't care.

I have something for you.

Baa!

They're socks.

Are they the ones you were knitting? Yes.

They look awfully scratchy, don't they?

They're very nice.

I needed new socks.

Oh, well. Off we go, then.

Walk up.

Baa!

Do you want to walk down or... or take the haulage cart?

Oh, no, thank you. We'll walk.

Oh, well. Goodbye, then.

Yes, goodbye.

Good luck with everything. Thank you. And you too.

Would you write me? Once you get yourself settled.

Yes, of course.

Would you write me back?

If you wouldn't mind.

No, I wouldn't mind.

I've got leave coming up soon, you see.

We didn't do that very well, did we? No.

Shall we try again?

Alright.

Alright, then.

Are you ready?

Goodbye.

Baa!