Original subtitles

Thanks for coming.

This is the dream team right here.

Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries.

Establishment Democrats.

Do we even know how to lose? Yes.

Well, not this time.

They said we'd never turn Texas blue. And we proved them wrong.

Oh, I live to prove people wrong. Yes.

Specifically people who think all black guys are cool.

Let's just say I'm not much. Hakeem.

Whole lot of Jeffries.

And not to take credit for the win, but, that was all me.

I found the candidates.

I recruited them and as a show of respect,

they begged me not to appear at their campaign events.

And now that we're in charge, our first order of business

will be to march right up to Donald Trump.

Look him dead in the eye and say, hey, knock it off, Buster.

Whoa whoa whoa. Language, language.

Hey! But it's a new world.

This election marked a seismic shift in politics.

Oh, I agree, I agree.

These Young Democrats have the base energized.

Perhaps it's time for us to step aside

and pass the torch to the next generation.

No. Never.

Well, you know, I'd like to make a toast.

Let's raise our glasses, shall we? To the Democrats.

We flipped the House. We flipped the Senate.

And how did we do it? Me?

That's right.

The Democrats never would have won

without this horrible economy and terrible war.

So, in the words of Mona's big fat friend, you're welcome.

Maui Chris rock.

But now I am lame duck.

They're saying the era of Trump is over.

And the era of Vance has just begun.

No. Go away. Yeah. Worth a shot by then.

How was that?

Anyway, it was blue tsunami.

We lost to the Democrats.

Or as I call them, Democrats.

Democrats?

It took me a really long time to come up with the Democrats,

but I got there.

Yeah, the other day we lost,

and I didn't even say it was rigged.

I accepted the results, which is almost scarier in a way.

It's like, what the hell is he planning?

I'll tell you what I'm planning. Ballroom.

That's it. That's all I care about.

Look at that beam. Big beam over there.

Look at that.

And marble. The likes of which you've never seen.

Oh, my God, I hate my life.

Next two years are going to be awful.

I don't want to work with these people.

It's not that they're Democrats. It's that they're millennials.

Even worse, millennial cringes back. New girl Adorkable

Mason jar wedding. ET cetera, et cetera.

They'll be doing stomp clap songs.

Holy moly me oh my. You're the apple of my get on me.

But to get back on track on the topic of New Girl,

you know that was a show where Jess was the new girl.

But really, it was about ensemble, right? Schmidt.

Winston. You know, I said you got to figure out Winston.

They didn't have Winston figured out

the first couple of seasons when they gave him the cat.

That's when they unlocked a lot of stories for Winston.

But now all my friends are leaving me.

Oh, all the rats are jumping ship.

Something say rats.

All right, cut the track.

Cut it. Whats up fart knockers

I just came here to promise you, Mr.

President, I will never, ever leave you. Of course not.

Be as the war going.

Is it still quagmire? Giggity.

We just keep moving forward. Harder, sir.

You think some election is going to stop me?

Do I look like a person who gets less crazy

when backed into a corner?

I live a YOLO lifestyle.

You only lose often.

So I'm going to keep losing for you. Sir.

Unless Congress impeach is me.

But you won't let that happen, right?

Of course not. Unless I do, which I will.

Understood.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have to go weigh the female soldiers.

Peace out. Who are in?

Well, Pete, I hate to see you go,

but I love to watch you walk away as business men.

Really? You want the full show?

I'll give you the show.

It's what I'm into these days.

What a primo toilet on beat.

But election is over now,

so I hope you enjoy what you voted for.

Jon Ossoff.

Or as I call him, Binky Herman

Abdul Al Sayed, or as I call him, Mamdani for men.

And of course, down in Texas.

Tallafreako

Senator.

Hi, America.

I'm James Talarico, the guy who's been.

The guy the guy who's been texting you.

Every day asking for $5.

And there's a guy to me who can blame you.

But I think, Mr.

President, if we can work together,

we can make life better for everyday Americans.

It's clear people want something new.

They want something different.

I'm talking of course, about SNL█s Cold opens.

How many of these Trump freezers are they going to do?

Infinity.

Well, in that case, there's only one thing left to say.

LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S

SATURDAY NIGHT!

>> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY

NIGHT LIVE" WITH --

MUSICAL GUEST THE STROKES.

AND YOUR HOST, DRUSKI.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN -- DRUSKI!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

♪♪

Let's go!

Let's go! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

It is a dream to be hosting Saturday Night Live.

Whoo!

Apparently, people saying I'm

the first internet content creator.

Social media influencer?

I only make you laugh on your phone. Tick tock.

And YouTube and Instagram to host this show

Whoa.

People say a lot of things about me. Honestly.

Some people say I look like a lesbian.

I don't know how true that is.

Some people say I'm on ozempic. Could be lies.

Could be truth to that.

Could be little truth.

Some people say they only know me as a white woman.

Listen, I know y'all think SNL is going to Water Me Down tonight

but no, they are not holding me back from saying anything.

It's just a few rules. We gotta go over.

They said number one. No, cussin, I cannot promise that.

Number two. No whiteface.

I also can't promise that

about half the show right now.

But honestly, this is a huge moment for me

growing up as a fat kid from the suburbs.

Why are you laughing?

My teachers never believed in me.

So I just want to say, yeah, I'm just lying.

I just wanted to say that because rappers

be saying that type of stuff.

So I want to thank my family

because they supported me chasing my dreams.

And they're actually here tonight. Give it up for them.

Yeah.

I'm so grateful.

When I first started my career,

I let them, you know, let me turn my dreams

into a full blown movie convention.

So every day I think about how could I possibly repay y'all.

And some money.

All right.

We're not doing this live TV now.

As soon as black folks get on TV,

they ask about some damn money.

It is an honor to be on the same stage

of so many legends before me. I'll give it up for them.

And I am living proof.

You can bet on yourself and make your dreams come true.

I just filming finished filming my first ever movie

with Emma Stone and she is here right now.

Emma. What are you. What's going on?

I'm actually playing her love interest

in the new movie that we just did. It's. Oh, that's.

Oh. I'm sorry.

I'm okay.

Yeah, I think you might have misread that in those scenes.

We weren't love interests in the in the film.

But now it is actually starting to make more sense to me

why you kept looking at me like that for all these scenes.

That's probably why we ain't kiss, either. Yeah.

If it's a part two, we'll get it in.

Yeah, for sure, for sure.

Oh, and Emma, I loved you on Begonia, too.

As well. Oh, my God, I think I'm really happy.

Yeah. I love you, Emma. Really?

Yeah. No, I just want to be the first black guy to say it. Oh,

we've got a great show for you tonight. The strokes are here.

So stick around and we'll be right back.

You're watching BET

It's young Sheldon. What? You don't think we watched that?

But first, Washington in focus.

Welcome to Washington and Focus, where we put Washington

in focus.

My name is Marcus James.

Joining us, as always, is Lamar Woods. What's up? Marcus.

Audrey. Tuck. Hey, Marcus.

And today, to help us break down the midterm results,

we have Daniel Roth from the Atlantic.

Great to be here. This is actually my first time on BET

Nice.

So, obviously,

Tuesday's midterms were a historic night for Democrats.

Historic night in general for people of color.

I mean, lots of firsts. Not the. First.

That's right.

I mean, we saw Keisha Lance Bottoms in Georgia

become the first black female governor. Let's go.

Let's go. Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

And also, Hakeem Jeffries

could be the first black speaker of the House. Yes. And

there's a new black senator in Ohio, Sherrod Brown.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, I like Sherrod Brown.

I like what he's got going on. Yes. Yeah.

It is good to see a black man representing the Buckeye State.

That's right. That's right.

Oh, sorry. Just to cut in, but I just want to say.

Sherrod Brown is white.

Hey, man.

You funny? Yeah, this dude is funny.

Can you imagine a white guy named Sherrod Brown?

I mean, what would he even sound like?

Like I'm Sherrod Brown.

Might I interest you in some food

and perhaps some chitterlings

Sherrod? You crazy, crazy man. Come on, that's not crazy.

That's just what he is. He's white.

Super funny man. Hey, I've seen you work in Atlantic

It's hilarious. It's not supposed to be.

Look, can we see a picture of the senator?

Okay, sure. Let's see. Sherrod.

Yeah, I'm in trouble.

Zoom in on Sherrod.

There he is. That's it. Boy.

Looking clean boy. My boy. Yeah. That's right.

Yeah, that's my senator.

No, it's actually not your senator.

That's actually not.

That's just an unusually dressed

man in the deep, deep background.

You know what? Let's just keep this moving.

Now, what's going to be interesting is seeing

how Trump works with this new Congress.

I mean, we all know

Trump doesn't work well with people of color. Okay.

Remember how he first got the first black

that Chairman Jerome Powell? Okay.

Jerome Powell is also a white guy.

Oh boy. What you are talking about.

What what would you sound like?

What would he sound like if he was white? Dude.

I am white. Jerome, you need a pack of black in my old time.

Look, this is a picture of Jerome Powell.

Yeah, but zoom in on Jerome, though.

There. There is. Yeah. Yeah. He got an alto sax.

Yeah. And I bet he played the hell out that horn. Right?

Yeah. He does not Jerome Powell. Also, who is this guy.

Did you just get dressed up and stand

in the background of photos?

Hey, whatever he's doing is working.

You got him in the government? Actually, it did not.

All right, you know what?

You seem to have a thing about this.

Why don't we take a commercial break?

We'll be right back with the senator himself, Sherrod Brown.

There we go. That is not.

That's not even the senator.

Oh, no, no, no, we know that's our producer.

And show him is Sherrod.

Okay.

A24 is documentary.

You can see everything is shattering.

Box office records.

Comedian Nathan Fielder documented his time

with tech fraudster Elizabeth Holmes and her partner

Billy Evans, on her final days

before prison. But before fielder,

she contacted another comedian provocateur.

Brewski.

What up girl?

We're so glad you're here.

Yeah.

It's really important to us

that people find out who Liz really is. You know.

I just want people to see me as an ordinary person.

You do that. Risky.

Based on what I've seen so far, I'm going to say no.

Y'all got some of the weirdest,

freakiest vibe I have never seen.

Let me see Tim egg.

You know, I don't like people not make no damn eggs.

Nobody said it best.

Did she done did this.

A gripping story told through

some of the closest close ups ever captured on film.

You being real right now?

Always being real.

Yeah.

Hold up. You trying to (bleep) me

I█m not mad at it

I just,

I don't try something purely shades down okay.

It may stay like.

That from A24 and could have been

records comes true can see everything.

So this was the prototype of the Edison.

And it can run over 100 different medical tests.

Okay, listen, my girl, I'm gonna say this with all love, right?

This the most temu as pieces that I'm ever seen in my life.

Fielders film was a three hour cinematic epic.

While Druski take was released on Instagram Reels and a 1000

part series titled Crazy White Ladies

get crying laughing emoji and is always true.

Druski continued the search to sign his next great talent.

I like your vibe, man.

What you got?

I do biotech and I rap.

Let me hear some. Okay.

My name is Billie and I make eight figures.

Can't believe I'm here with. all my

Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa. Okay. Go ahead, go ahead.

Let him say it.

Come on. I want to hear it.

Go ahead.

All right, give him that.

Wait, wait, guys, no!

And just like fielder druski, he used reenactments

to better understand his subjects.

I just need to find somebody

who could truly embody her character.

I'm. Who's being real.

I'm always being real.

I'm always being real, though. I'm always being real

I could do this all day, bitch. You don't scare me.

Variety raves.

Somehow this makes Nathan Fielder

seem like the reasonable choice.

This.

I'm going to show you one of the most famous

comedy videos in all of history.

I want you to tell me what you think is funny about it.

I don't know. Are you sure?

Sorry. I just don't.

You're both starting to piss me off.

Dru can see everything is generating

major Oscar buzz in the sense

that there's buzz that this won't be at the Oscars.

I love you, Liz

Every day we're building monuments to our love.

Sorry. What's going on here? Oh my God.

I thought I thought that was all right.

I'm going to head on out. I'm into deep.

My fault yall

Dru can see everything

coming soon to your phone near you.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ LAUGHTER AND CHEERS ]

>> HEY, MAN, THANKS FOR COMING

WITH ME TO GET A NEW PHONE.

>> YEAH, I GOT MY PHONE HERE A

COUPLE OF YEARS AGO.

IS ANYONE WORKING HERE RIGHT

NOW?

>> YEAH, I THINK THIS GUY.

EXCUSE ME, SIR?

♪♪

[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]

OKAY!

[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]

HEY!

MY FRIENDS, WELCOME.

YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE,

PAPI.

I'M GOING TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF

YOU.

I'M GOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.

MY FAMILY.

>> I'M JUST LOOKING FOR A NEW

PHONE.

>> PAPI, I THOUGHT YOU CAME HERE

TO BUY A NEW CAR, HA HA HA!

YOU SO STUPID, PAPI.

[ LAUGHTER ]

LET'S GET YOU A NEW PHONE, PAPI.

I'M GONNA BRING SOME OPTIONS TO

YOU, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT.

♪♪

>> WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

♪♪

BUT HIS PANTS ARE SO TIGHT, I

CAN SEE -- HE'S UNCIRCUMCISED.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> OKAY.

HEY, HEY, WHOA, WHOA.

DO NOT EAT ME WITH YOUR EYES,

PAPI, HEY?

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU DON'T TOUCH MINE, I DON'T

TOUCH YOURS.

HA HA HA!

>> CAN I SPEAK TO A MANAGER,

PLEASE?

>> OKAY, I'M CALLING.

[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]

♪♪

>> HEY, WELCOME.

WELCOME TO BUBU MOAN.

YOU LOOKING GOOD, YOU NEED A

WHITE FRIEND?

>> HA HA HA!

LOOK AT HIS FACE.

>> I THINK I WAS MAYBE LOOKING

FOR THE FLIP 17.

>> OKAY, PAPI.

WHAT KIND OF PHONE YOU LIKE?

17?

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.

IF SHE'S 17, YOU GOT TO FLIP IT.

>> HA HA HA!

LISTEN, BE CAREFUL NOW, PAPI.

THE PHONE IS NO CHEAPIE-CHEAPIE.

THE PHONE, 1,500 PESOS, PAPI.

A LOT OF MONEY, PAPI, OKAY?

WE SET YOU UP WITH A LITTLE

PAYMENT PLAN, OKAY?

>> I THINK I'LL JUST PAY FULL

PRICE, IF THAT'S OKAY.

>> AH, YOU WANT TO PAY FULL

PRICE!

>> IF THAT'S OKAY!

PAPI, THIS IS THE SCENARIO OF

THE BEST CASE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HE WANT TO PAY FULL PRICE.

HE WANNA PAY FULL PRICE!

♪♪

HE WANNA PAY FULL PRICE!

OH, OH!

>> WAIT, WAIT.

>> THAT'S AMAZING.

I LOVE YOU, PAPI.

FULL PRICE.

WOW, WOW, WOW, WOW, WOW.

>> WE'RE KIND OF THIS A RUSH TO

GET BACK TO THE DESK.

>> OH, THE DESK.

PAPI, YOU HIDING THOSE LEGS

BEHIND A DESK?

>> PAPI, YOU CANNOT HIDE THESE

LEGS BEHIND A DESK.

>> BEAUTIFUL LEGS.

>> AI-YI-YI.

WOW, PAPI.

>> WOW.

>> YOU SEE BATATAS?

>> WHAT ARE THOSE?

>> EVERYBODY HAD A THIGH.

EVERYBODY HAVE A KNEE.

EVERYBODY HAVE A BATATA, RIGHT?

AND THIS GUY, HE HAVE BATATAS!

WOW!

>> LOOK AT, LOOK AT THE BATATA,

PAPI!

>> WHOO!

>> SO YOU UNDERSTAND, BATATA IS

YOUR CALF.

ALSO IT MEAN SWEET POTATO.

>> ALL RIGHT, JUST SO YOU KNOW,

I'M NOT INTERESTED ROMANTICALLY

OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

>> OH.

PAPI, WE NOT THERE, WE

DOMINICAN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> PAPI, LET ME TELL YOU

SOMETHING, PAPI.

WE ARE NO GAY.

BUT IF WE WERE -- THIS IS NOT

WHAT WE LIKE, MAN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> YOU NOT MY TIME, PAPI.

I LOVE WOMEN.

WE LOVE WOMEN.

>> WE LOVE WOMEN.

>> WE ARE JUST NOT ALLOWED TO

TALK TO THEM.

>> YOU KNOW IN DOMINICAN, WE

HAVE A SAYING.

THE SAYING GOES, IF I TALK TO

ANOTHER WOMAN IN REAL LIFE OR A

DREAM, MY WIFE GONNA HIT ME WITH

A BASEBALL BAT AND MY

GIRLFRIEND'S GOING TO KILL ME.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> THAT'S A COMMON SAYING?

>> OH, EVERYBODY SAY.

>> EVERYBODY SAY IT, PAPI,

EVERYBODY.

>> SORRY, CAN I JUST GET MY

PHONE?

>> AH, A PROBLEM, PAPI.

THE PHONE THAT YOU WANT, WE

DON'T HAVE IT, WE NEVER HAVE IT.

>> I HAVE SOMETHING BETTER FOR

YOU.

OUR WIFE HAVE TWO SISTER.

ONE FOR YOU, ONE FOR YOU.

♪♪

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>>> GO, BIRTHDAY GIRL, GO

BIRTHDAY GIRL GO!

>> HEY!

THANK YOU FOR ATTENDING A GIRL'S

BIRTHDAY!

HERE SHE IS, HERE SHE IS!

>> I WANT TO MAKE A TOAST TO THE

BIRTHDAY DIVA WITH THE KINDEST

HEART AND THE HOTTEST BODY YODY.

I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU

FLOURISH AND TAKE THE NEXT

CHAPTER BY THE SAC.

>> OH, ON MY BIRTHDAY, OH, MY

GOD!

>> WE LOVE YOU, GIRL!

>> GIRL, WHERE'S THE FOOD?

I'M ABOUT TO SHOW MY TITTY IN

THIS TAQUERIA FOR REAL.

>> NO!

>> APOLOGIES FOR THE DELAY.

WE HAVE THE BEEF TACOS RIGHT

HERE.

>> THOSE LOOK GOOD, GIRL.

>> WE HAVE THE ENCHILADAS RIGHT

HERE.

>> YES, CARLEY, 'CAUSE YOU A

MESSY HO.

>> FULL STOP, FULL STOP.

>> LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST,

WE HAVE THE SIZZLING SHRIMP

FAJITAS.

>> THAT'S ME, LOOK SO GOOD.

>> OH!

>> ARE YOU FOR REAL RIGHT NOW?

FA JET TAS AT MY BIRTHDAY?

DO YOU HATE ME?

WHY WOULD YOU STAB ME IN THE

BACK LIKE THIS?

>> SORRY, WHAT IS THE ISSUE?

>> TINA, GIRL, BABY GIRL --

>> DON'T ACT BRAND-NEW, HO, FOR

REAL.

>> ORDERING FAJITAS AT ANOTHER

WOMAN'S --

>> IT'S FA-JITAS.

>> IT'S LIKE JUMPING IN THE

WATER AT ANOTHER WOMAN'S

BAPTISM.

>> THIS CANNOT BE MY LIFE RIGHT

NOW.

THIS IS MY LIFE?

>> OKAY.

I REALLY DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET

YOU.

I JUST --

>> GIRL, YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE

SHRIMP.

YOU GOT ALL THEME BAJITAS FOR

CLOUT, BITCH.

SHE GOT ME MESSED UP ON MY

BIRTHDAY.

>> NO, DANIELLE, IT'S OKAY.

>> I CAN'T BREATHE, I GOT ASTHMA

AND STUFF.

THE BAJITAS, GET THAT AWAY FROM

ME, FOR REAL.

GOD, GOD, ON MY BIRTHDAY!

SHE'S TRYING TO SET ME ON FIRE

ON MY BIRTHDAY.

>> NO, I DIDN'T.

>> DON'T YOU LIE, TINA.

YOU ARE OBNOXIOUS AS ANNA

ARCHISON.

GET OUT OF HERE.

>> OH!

>> BUT FOR HER LOOK --

>> WHY WOULD SHE SHOW UP LIKE

THAT?

GIRL, PLEASE.

YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THE GROUP IS

DOING PASTELS TODAY.

>> DANIELLE, DON'T GIVE HER THE

POWER.

>> I AM ABOVE ALL THIS.

I AM A CHRISTIAN.

I CANNOT LET YOU GET ME OUT OF

CHARACTER ON MY BIRTHDAY.

>> WASN'T YOUR BIRTHDAY THREE

MONTHS AGO?

>> OKAY, AND BITCH, I CAN'T BE

22.2?

I'M SORRY, Y'ALL.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I NEED TO STEP OUT.

ALL THIS DRAMA GOT MY STOMACH

BUBBLING.

I NEED TO GO TO THE GIRLS' ROOM

AND MAKE A MOVEMENT.

IS NOBODY GONNA COME WITH ME?

I NEED TO HAVE SOMEBODY HELP ME

WIPE.

>> I CAN COME.

>> NOT HER, SHE GAY, NOT HER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> DON'T WORRY, GIRL, I GOT YOU.

>> NOBODY TALK UNTIL I GET BACK.

>> MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GO.

>> NO, THAT, IT'S NOT YOU.

SHE'S EMOTIONAL BECAUSE SHE WAS

RECENTLY FIRED FROM SEPHORA FOR

KICKING THE CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF

JONATHAN VAN NESS.

AND THE WORST PART, IT WASN'T

JVN'S CUTOUT, IT WAS A REAL

WOMAN WITH CHIN HAIR.

>> I DID SOMETHING ON THE TOILET

AND I WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT TO

APOLOGIZE.

>> YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE TO.

-- NO, NO.

I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR NOT

REALIZING THAT GINA IS A SNAKE

IN THE GRASS WAY EARLIER.

THE SIGNS WAS THERE.

SHE CARRIES A WHOLE BOOK BAG

EVERYWHERE.

LIKE, WHAT'S IN THE BAG, BITCH?

>> MY DIABETES MEDICATION.

>> DON'T PULL THAT DIABETES

STUFF, YOU JUST LOVE CAKE.

>> DANIELA!

>> I WIPE MY HANDS CLEAN OF YOU,

TINA.

2027 IS THE YEAR OF NO TINA.

YOU ARE ENERGY SUCK, WE ARE

DONE.

♪ HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY

HAPPY DAY TO YOU

WE KNOW THAT IT'S YOUR

BIRTHDAY AND YOU'RE 22.2 ♪

>> OH, MY GOD!

WHO DID THIS?

SERIOUSLY.

I DON'T WANT TO INJURE HER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> THIS SURPRISE CAME FROM YOUR

GOOD FRIEND TINA.

>> OH.

UH -- TINA.

GIRL, YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU.

OH, MY GOD, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU

DID THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

LET ME TRY SOME OF THOSE

I care about my fitness

and I want to keep track of my progress.

But call me old fashioned.

I just don't want to risk handing over my data

to Big tech.

Well, now you don't have to. Introducing my corner guy.

My corner guy is a fitness tracking service

that provides real time, personalized health insights

using the observational power of a guy

who hangs out on your street corner

and makes unsolicited comments about your body.

God damn, it's booty. That thing is juicy girl

Awesome.

My corner guys train to hang out

near your house and assess your weight, shape,

and overall appearance

and there's no risk of hacking or big tech oversight.

Just raw, sometimes offensive data.

You gotta do something about damn legs, my boy.

Thought you was my baby mama from the back.

Fair enough. Time to lock in Harry. Potter looking ass.

No apps, no screens.

Just a dude with a nasty mouth and a whole lot of free time.

I was a little skeptical at first,

but then my corner guy called me a big back

biscuit head ass bitch in front of my wife and my kids.

And sure,

they cried, but he was both specific and accurate,

and I've been in the gym consistently ever since.

You built like a Cybertruck

I was on my way to an important meeting

when my corner guy said, damn, I knew you could be bread,

but I didn't know you could bake

bread in them jeans

I signed up for pilates that afternoon.

Now, you may be wondering, is my corner guy homeless?

To be honest, we don't know.

But his sneakers are clean and he owns a beats

pill that's always charged and fully functional.

My corner guy can also keep

track of your menstrual cycle somehow.

I hadn't had my period

for almost two months and was getting worried.

Where are you going?

Where are you going then?

My corner guy told me to quote it his line

before Mama Flo came to town and ruined the party.

My period came exactly two days later.

My corner guy comes in a variety of options, uniquely

tailored to your lifestyle and neighborhood.

Hey, I don't know what you mean, but it's going to your ass.

Take it easy on a cannoli. Duh.

And unlike those tech apps that tell you what

you want to hear, my corner guy keeps it real.

He even comments on things I can't change. He crossed.

You gotta let me go.

crossed eyed

My corner guy is brash but totally harmless.

That being said, do not give him your phone number.

He will call and text repeatedly during all hours of the night.

Looking tired as a baby. Thanks. My corner guy.

My corner guy. Keep track of that ass. Hello?

>>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE

STROKES!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

♪♪

♪ I DID THAT YESTERDAY OH

I DID THAT YEARS AGO

WHEN I WAS A KID ♪

♪ I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT

YEARS AGO BUT I DID

I DID THAT YESTERDAY

I DID THAT YEARS AGO

WHEN I WAS A KID ♪

♪ I DID IT A FEW HUNDRED YEARS

AGO ♪

♪ I DID THAT YESTERDAY WHEN I

WAS A KID ♪

♪♪

♪ WEEKND I LIKE YOUR OUTFIT

YOLO YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE

DUDE KEPT THE BEAT

AS IT WAS ♪

♪ JOHN LEGEND

THAT'S JOSH GROBAN

I GUESS I'M FLATTERED

MAYBE ♪

♪ ALL GOOD WE ALL STEAL BABY

Y'ALL READY FOR THE

NEXT FAD

I DON'T THINK SO

CHRIS HEDGES' NEXT ♪

♪ I DID THAT YESTERDAY OH

I DID THAT YEARS AGO

WHEN I WAS A KID ♪

♪ I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT

YESTERDAY BUT I DID

I DID THAT YESTERDAY

WHEN I WAS A KID ♪

♪ YOU DON'T GET IT

IT'S A PITY ♪

♪ MAYBE YOU'LL CATCH UP

SOONER ♪

♪ RATHER THAN LATER BABY ♪

♪ SO LONELY IN THE FUTURE

YOU DON'T GET IT

IT'S A PITY ♪

♪ MAYBE YOU'LL CATCH UP

SOONER RATHER THAN LATER

DARLING ♪

♪ I HEARD THAT 27 YEARS AGO

I DID FANTANO

WORD FOR WORD

WHEN I WAS A KID ♪

♪ STICK TO THE TECHNICAL

THAT'S RIGHT ♪

♪ BUT YOU WOULD NOT

RECOGNIZE ART IN

YOUR OWN TIME ♪

♪♪

♪ ON THE FIRST DATE WE HAD

I JUMPED IN THE WATER YEAH

THE COSTUME IS SOAKING WET

I'D LIKE TO DRY IT ♪

♪ JOIN ME AS I PRAY FOR

THE GRACE TO BE MERCIFUL ♪

♪ HELP ME NOT LAY WASTE

'CAUSE IT'S NOT

THEIR FAULT ♪

♪ BUT I DON'T CARE

I DON'T CARE

ANYBODY TRY NAME A PLACE

I'M THERE ♪

♪ I WORE THAT YEARS AGO

I LIKED THAT YEARS AGO

WHEN I WAS A KID ♪

♪ AND IN A HUNDRED THOUSAND

DAYS FROM NOW THEY'LL SAY

I WISH I'D KNOWN ABOUT

IF IT WAS TODAY ♪

♪ I DON'T THINK SO ♪

♪♪

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

It's Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che.

Thank you very much.

Good evening.

Good evening everyone.

Welcome to Weekend Update I'm Michael Che.

I'm Colin Jost. Well.

Well it was a huge week for the Democrats

who overwhelmingly won the midterm elections.

Texas turned from red to blue.

So did Kansas.

Even Mississippi is about to turn blue.

So I guess my grandpa was right.

This whole damn country's transitioning.

Democrats had a historic night on Tuesday,

winning the Senate and winning the largest House

popular vote victory since Watergate.

And all it took was like infinity. Watergate.

With Democrats in control of Congress,

President Trump is now free to spend the remainder

of his time in office doing what he does best

for Jaslyn, the white House.

93% of black women voted blue, which is amazing.

And 52% of white women voted blue,

which is also a percentage.

And as for white men, good game.

Most votes continue

to be counted in the Mississippi Senate race,

where Democrat Scott Kellum leads Republican

Cindy Hyde-Smith by roughly 2500 votes.

The count will take a while

because people in Mississippi only have but so many fingers.

Some pundits are calling this election

the end of Trumpism,

but I believe Trumpism will always live inside

each and every one of us in the form of long Covid.

Asked if he is upset

about the huge midterm losses, President Trump said

he tried hard and left it all on the field.

And to continue the football analogy,

failed concussion protocol.

President Trump is blaming Tuesday's losses

on the poor quality of Republican candidates.

And I am surprised that Trump couldn't

find any new young talent

because he used to have a guy for that.

In the wake of massive Republican losses,

Mike Johnson announced that he will not

stay on as GOP leader in the new Congress

and instead return

to his previous job of baking cookies in a tree.

Abdul Samad made history as the first Muslim.

The first Muslim elected to the Senate.

Well, first openly Muslim.

Had hinted that he would like to see

Chuck Schumer replaced as Senate Majority leader.

But if I had just gone through the campaign, he did.

I don't think my first move woul

Yesterday, President Trump announced that his new

white House chief of staff will be Stephen Miller.

Miller currently serves as the chief

of appearance behind you in the bathroom mirror.

Stephen Miller

seen here watching a puppy bite into some chocolate.

Will be replacing Susie Wiles,

who was one of the few

establishment Republicans in the administration,

which means things are going to get out of hand real quick.

Going from Wiles to Miller is like trying

to get through a dinner party by switching from wine to meth.

Nithya Raman, a democratic socialist, was elected

mayor of Los Angeles.

That's right,

because that LA is always a year behind us on every trend.

It has been a tough week for Elon Musk.

He spent over $470 million on Republican candidates

in the midterms, nearly all of them lost.

The stock prices of his companies, Tesla and SpaceX,

dropped, and his Cybertruck will no longer be produced

due to low sales. Here to comment is Elon Musk.

Yo yo,

that's a no. You know, more like more cowbell.

Hahahahahahahaha. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. You know, technologies, you know? Yeah, yeah.

I'm excited to be here. And, you know, you know,

so, you know,

sort of, you know, you know.

Let's break it down, you know?

Okay. Yeah.

So, Ian, you've been you've been in the news

because you've wasted half $1 billion on the midterm.

No, I'm in the news because my car did a flip.

My car did a flip, remember?

It was like a frickin Hot Wheels. Like an apocalypse.

But I was, like, totally chill.

I was like, thug life.

Imagine.

Yeah, I can't imagine.

No, I I'm just pretty sure you're in the news

because almost all the candidates you backed lost.

Hahahahaha! Nice.

That was like an epic roast of me. Most vulgar.

You know, that's what I call an epic, vulgar roast.

And it's time for a pounding.

A pounding?

Yeah, yeah. Time for pound. Pound.

Okay. We. Why are you moving away?

I don't like that. Ha ha ha ha.

Elon, you had to halt production on the Cybertruck.

Do you have anything to say about that?

Hey, remember when my car did a flip?

It was epic. It was like.

But everyone was like, whoa.

But I was just like, hold my beer.

Imagine.

What?

And then.

And then, like you, me and che, we're just like, damn.

She's, like, hanging out, doing, like,

epic, vulgar roasts with each other and, like.

And then these girls are like, can we hang?

We're like, no, you know, we're good.

And then, like, imagine my leather jacket

becomes like a suit of armor, like she she.

And there is like, elan. Ellen Elan. Hahahahaha.

That would be amazing.

That amazing. Like imagine.

I cannot believe you are the richest person in the world.

Thanks, Colin. And you are my dog.

And for that I'm like, you know, I'm

going to take my dog to the pound.

I'm not doing that again.

Well, okay. Well, at least look at this.

Okay. Hot yoga. Hahaha.

Roasted applesauce.

All right, let me just let me get this straight.

Okay. Okay, we just recap.

You moved to Texas because California was run by Democrats.

You moved all your companies to Texas

because you didn't want to pay taxes. Yeah.

Even build your own town in Texas,

And now Texas is run by Democrats? Yes.

So now you're going to have to pay taxes big time.

So how does that make you feel?

Bad. I guess that's what I thought.

I mean, I would feel bad to, Ha ha ha ha ha. Ouchie.

What you.

That is another after another.

Us from Collin. Just my poorest friend.

And, we're for what is a vulgar roast.

It's my, I grok, most epic hardcore feature.

It's so vulgar and hilariously funny.

Okay. Is it? Yeah, yeah. Watch. Grok.

Do you like, you know, do like can,

you know, do like an epic, vulgar roast of me. Elon Musk.

Elon Musk.

You're the worst thing South Africa has ever done.

Hahaha. Okay. Kind of mean okay.

Gonna mean when you're on TV,

it feels like an episode of hate on the spectrum.

Not even true. Okay.

Maybe if you have 100 more kids, one of them will talk to you.

Okay. I'm going gonna shut it down. Shut it down.

Elon Musk, everyone. Did a flip. It's did a full

major.

Hahahahaha.

Kraft Mac and Cheese has released a new holiday

cinnamon roll flavor available exclusively at Walmart.

Look for them in the childhood obesity aisle.

Pope Leo was photographed with Bob Dylan this week,

apparently right before the Pope dropped him off

at a my Chemical Romance concert.

King Charles traveled to Antigua,

where he said that

the United Kingdom's role in the slave trade.

Quote fills my heart with horror.

Adding another decade boy.

Wendy's announced plans to turn around

declining sales, which include ending their breakfast menu

and offering thicker bacon and even thicker Wendy.

I hate that you did that to my imagination.

New research finds that 18 to 24 year

olds are at higher risk of cardiac arrest

if they consume caffeinated energy drinks.

So Red bull really does give you wings.

A new study finds that the

average length of a man's penis is 3.63in.

The study was conducted by doing this at a urinal.

This is a tough transition and spews five.

Two time jeopardy!

Champion was arrested for allegedly possessing child porn.

Police became suspicious after

he swept the child porn category.

Mom understood apologized

after she appeared in an Instagram post

dressed as a homeless person.

Stewart explained she was just trying to honor

the memory of the guy she hit with her car.

Researchers in Australia

say that a community of koalas previously infected

with chlamydia now show no signs of the disease.

The koalas are expected to remain

chlamydia free until SNL█s next break.

Well, the midterm.

The midterms have officially come to a close this Tuesday,

with outcomes neither party fully expected.

Here to recap tonight are two people who just hooked up.

To make it look good, they.

Got a piece of confetti. Okay.

Make a wish.

I already got my wish.

Okay, so, you guys are here to talk about the midterms?

Yes. Yes,

we are here to discuss what happened on election night.

As you know,

it was a huge night for the Democrats who were able

to flip an impressive number of Republican seats.

Yeah. And, you know, that's the power of democracy.

For years, things can be going one way.

And then in one night.

Everything can change.

Okay.

So what happens now?

Well, now the Democrats govern. There is a lot of work to do.

Democrats need to walk in there and say,

hey, we're in control now. You.

Yes, ma'am.

Okay. And then what?

And then the Democrats are like.

You going to do what I say?

And and the Republicans are like,

they're waiting

for someone to flip my seat and take charge for a long time.

But maybe the Democrats are scared because

they've never been in charge before.

Yes, they have.

Hey, the Republicans trust you just

go slow.

Okay, well, wait. What?

What do you think led to what happened Tuesday night?

Well, Colin, it was a number of things, Ron.

Cost of living, Trump's approval rating.

And this was all despite Republicans

pouring half $1 billion into this election.

Yeah.

It just goes to show, you know, sometimes less can be more.

Everybody wants that large endowment.

But don't underestimate the power of a

micro donor.

Yeah.

Sometimes donations are so small.

You might not even feel it.

Who's there? The.

Did I say you could talk?

No, man.

That's better. Got you some beautiful man.

What? He can't.

He can't hear. Us. Yes, I can.

Look, look,

the point is,

Democrats are riding high right now,

and hopefully they can keep this momentum going into 2028.

Whoa, 2028.

It's a little far ahead.

It's two years from now.

I'm just saying, you know, maybe Republicans

won't even want this in two years.

Oh oh okay.

Oh they want okay.

Well they really wanted it on Tuesday

when they were face down screaming I love you

a new pillow. Right.

So all. Right, I don't think Republicans said that.

Oh they did. And you know what? He voted early by the way okay.

Yeah two seconds in votes everywhere.

I see two seconds. Democrats voted plenty on Tuesday.

I'm pretty sure Democrats voted for themselves for free.

I'm sorry I can't compete with electronic voting machines.

Are insane. Okay.

Whatever. What are you guys talking about?

I pegged him, Colin. Okay, two people who just hooked up.

For Weekend Update I█m Colin Jost. I█m Michael Che

Goodnight!

>>> I JUST LOVE THIS PLACE.

DIDN'T WE HAVE OUR FIRST DATE

HERE?

>> WE DID.

YOU LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL THAT

NIGHT.

>> OH, ALEC.

IF I DIDN'T KNOW YOU ANY BETTER,

I WOULD THINK YOU'RE GOING TO

PROPOSE TO ME.

>> WELL.

[ LAUGHTER ]

♪♪

>> WAIT.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

>> JAMIE, YOU'VE GIVEN ME

UNBELIEVABLE HAPPINESS.

TO ME, YOU ARE MY ROSE.

>> OH.

>> I KNOW THIS MIGHT SOUND

CRAZY, BUT I FEEL A LITTLE CRAZY

RIGHT NOW.

SO JAMIE DEKKA, WOULD YOU MAKE

ME THE HAPPIEST MAN IN THE

WORLD?

WOULD YOU -- MARRY ME?

>> OH, MY GOD.

UM -- NO.

>> WHAT?

>> I'M SORRY, ALEC.

BUT NO.

I JUST REALLY DON'T THINK WE'RE

READY.

>> OH.

OKAY.

OH, MY GOD.

OKAY.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU

THIS BUT THE NEXT FOUR MINUTES

ARE.

>> TO BE REALLY TOUGH.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> WHAT?

♪ SHE SAID YES

OH SHE SAID YES ♪

♪ CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HER WEDDING

NIGHT DRESS ♪

♪ GOT DOWN ON ONE KNEE YES ♪

♪ SHE SAID YES

SHE SAID YES ♪

♪ NO HESITATIONS NO HESITATIONS

NO HESITATIONS ♪

>> I'M REALLY SORRY.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY

YES.

>> ALEC, I BARELY HAVE SEEN YOU

FOR THREE MONTHS.

>> YEAH.

'CAUSE I'VE BEEN WORKING ON

THIS.

♪ SHE SAID YES

OH SHE SAID YES ♪

♪ IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE TOGETHER

THAT WILL BE THE BEST ♪

♪ SHE FELL TO THE GROUND AND

WHIMPERED YES ♪

>> YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO

FALL TO THE GROUND AND WHIMPER

YES?

>> HEY, MAN.

HEY, MAN, SHE SAID NO.

SHE SAID NO.

>> I CAN'T HEAR YOU, MY BROTHER,

I CAN'T HEAR A THING.

>> I SAID NO.

>> YEAH, SHOW THAT RING OFF,

GIRL, SHOW THAT RING OFF!

♪ SHE SAID YES ♪

♪ SHE STILL SAID YES ♪

>> SIR, YOU'RE DRIPPING ON US.

A LOT.

>> ALEC LOVES YOU SO MUCH,

JAMIE.

LET THAT LOVE FLOW THROUGH YOU

LIKE A MARCHING BAND.

♪♪

>> CONGRATS ON MARCHING TOWARD

YOUR FUTURE!

WHOO!

MOVE UP!

>> WHERE DO YOU EVEN FIND THESE

PEOPLE?

>> WHAT?

FARRELL BERGMAN AND THE

IRREPRESSIBLES?

YOU WOULDN'T SHUT UP ABOUT THEM

ALL SUMMER.

>> ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT PHOEBE

BRIDGERS?

>> DAMMIT, I WAS THINKING OF

PHOEBE BRIDGERS.

♪ SHE SAID Y-E-S ♪

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS

A TRUE LOVE.

ONE THAT CANNOT BE BASED ON

PHYSICAL ATTRACTION AS THIS IS A

PLAIN, PLAIN WOMAN.

>> WAIT!

>> NOW, A VERY SPECIAL GUEST.

THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE TO BE.

>> WAIT.

MY DAD IS HERE?

WE'RE NO CONTACT!

>> AND YOU MIGHT NOT LOVE HIS

FEATURE RAP VERSE.

♪ IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT ♪

♪ THEY HAVE FOUND EACH OTHER AND

THAT IS TIGHT ♪

♪ AND NOW THAT THEY MET THEIR

DREAMS ARE COMING OUT ALL

RIGHT ♪

AND YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT YOUR

CHILDHOOD, YOU'RE NOT

REMEMBERING THAT CORRECTLY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

♪ SHE'S OBSESSED ♪

♪♪

>> SORRY!

>> I'VE GOT TO BE HONEST WITH

YOU, BROTHER, I HAVE NO IDEA WHO

THAT WAS.

THAT WOMAN IS NOT WITH US.

BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT

THAT --

♪ SHE SAID YES ♪

♪ OH SHE SAID YES ♪

>> WHY IS THERE AN ASL

TRANSLATOR?

>> OH, I'M SORRY YOU WANTED YOUR

ENGAGEMENT TO BE INCLUSIVE.

>> WELL, THE ONLY GOOD THING I

CAN SAY ABOUT THIS IS THAT AT

LEAST YOU ARE NOT A PART OF

THIS.

>> REALLY UNFORTUNATE TIMING.

♪ SHE SAID YES ♪

Good morning.

Before we start.

The bride and groom have asked for a distraction free wedding.

They want to see your beautiful faces.

So please put your phones away. There will be plenty of photos.

Ready, my son. Ready as I'll ever be.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the moment you've all been waiting for is here.

Please stand for the bride.

Over here. Sweetie.

Please excuse me. Excuse me. What's up?

Get over there. I need eyes. Give me eyes. Give me eyes.

That smile. That smile. Looking great, sweetie.

That smile. Come on. Over here. Just look at me. Eyes on eyes.

Come on.

Love them. Sorry. Okay, okay. Roxy.

At least I love your enthusiasm. But let's rein it in. Okay.

Copy that.

We just don't want to miss the moment we got our A cam.

Got to B cam.

Yeah, and full transparency. We are fully mic█ed

You may be seated.

Welcome. Family and friends.

The bride and groom would like to open the wedding

with a reading

from First Corinthians by the groom's sister.

And the cutest plus one I've ever seen.

And, Love is patient.

Love is kind.

Oh, Hey, please get the flash away from my baby.

Damn it! She's not smiling.

I have an idea.

Oh! Oh, don't scream at my child.

Okay? Okay.

Where did these photographers even come from? Excuse me.

Show some respect. I was a war photographer from Afghanistan.

Oh. Well, thank you for your service.

Actually, I messed that up.

I was a horror photographer and the magazine in Afgoonistan

Thank you for your service.

I'd like to remind everyone that this is a house of God. Okay,

now, I believe the bride and groom

have prepared their own vows.

Jess, you've been with me during the scariest days of my life

when I was in the hospital. You you were there.

And I was so scared. But.

But you were amazing. Oh. Okay.

Okay, okay. All right. Guys, guys.

Okay, okay, okay. You got the shot. You got it.

All right. Okay. All right. We'll be flies on a wall.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just like that, we're out.

Oh, okay. Thank you.

Ben. You were my favorite person in the entire world.

I never told you this, but from the moment I saw you,

I knew that you were,

That you were the one that I've been waiting for.

My best friend and my best friend. My partner in crime.

Why do you need a drone inside?

I see sunshine in the circuitry.

Oh. Oh, no. Don't I get it?

Oh! Stop it!

Stop it! Oh, not. Stop! No, no, no!

Enough! Stop! Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey.

Flowers on the wall, man. Flowers on the wall.

Listen, man, we don't need all of this, okay?

I just want to get married.

I've been unconventional, but heard you okay?

Your day, your day. Good day. Buddy.

Oh. Where were we?

Right.

You mean now kiss the bride. Oh, you look great.

Oh, my.

Oh. That's fun. I'm. God. Come on. Are you serious?

That's the one picture you didn't that you didn't take.

Don't worry. Okay? Okay. You look great.

We got some. What? Why? This sucks, man. This is the worst.

>>> ONCE AGAIN, THE STROKES!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

♪ I DONE SET YOU UP

THE FIGHT'S NOT OVER

ONLY THAT CAN BE FOREVER ♪

♪ THE FIGHT IS NOW

I'M ON THE HIGHWAY

I'LL PICK YOU UP ♪

♪♪

♪ LIKE A TIGER

THEY WILL ALL CHASE YOU

DOWN WITH WORDS INSTEAD OF

CLAWS ♪

♪ THEY WILL SEDUCE YOU TILL

YOU REACH THE POINT

LET YOURSELF GET MAULED ♪

♪ THE WORSE REALITY GETS

THE LESS YOU WANNA HEAR

ABOUT IT ♪

♪ SOLIDARITY CAN BE

DIFFICULT WHEN YOU'VE

GOT COOL STUFF TO LOSE ♪

♪ I WANNA BE A

7-FOOT ZOMBIE

THE PAY IS LOW

BUT I GOTTA DO SOMETHING ♪

♪ I'M AT THE MALL

THE SONG IS BUMPING

THERE GOES MY FUTURE WIFE

IN THE LITTLE RED JUMPSUIT ♪

♪ I'M GOING AWAY

TO THE COUNTRY

DON'T WANDER OFF TOO FAR ♪

♪ I'M GOING OUT MY MIND

THROWING ALL MY PLANS

OUT THE WINDOW ♪

♪ DON'T WANNA WASTE MY LIFE

I'LL SEE YOU ON THE

OTHER SIDE ♪

♪♪

♪ I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT

WHAT I WANNA SAY

BUT I'M AN OLD MAN NOW ♪

♪ AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT

THEY TELL ME ANYWAY ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN EXPANDING

ON OUR GREATNESS

BUILDING FUTURE RUINS

OH NO YEAH ♪

♪ WE'RE BUILDING CASTLES

FROM THE BONES OF

DEAD TREES ♪

♪ MOLDED FROM THE SHATTERED

HOUSES OF THE DEAD SEA ♪

♪ I MOVED AWAY

TO THE COUNTRY

I HAD TO CHANGE MY WAY

BUT I KINDA MISS YOU NOW ♪

♪ STOCKBROKERS FLYING OUT

THE WINDOW

OH HOW I MISS THAT SOUND ♪

♪ DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP PA

WAKE UP PA ♪

♪♪

WALTER SCOGGINS, EVERYBODY!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

♪♪

♪ CAN'T WAIT

I'M GOIN' SHOPPIN'

I'M AT THE MALL

AND THE SONG IS BUMPIN' ♪

♪ I WANT TO BE A

7-FOOT STARFISH

ABOVE THE LAW

LIKE A GOOD LITTLE PUPPET ♪

♪♪

♪ I'M GOING BACK TO MIAMI

I'M 'BOUT TO LOSE MY MIND

I'M GONNA STAY ALIVE ♪

♪ I'M CLIMBING OUT

THROUGH THE WINDOW

I MISS THE SHOPS AND MALLS

I'M GONNA MEET Y'ALL THERE ♪

♪ STILL THROWING MY PHONE

OUT THE WINDOW

I'M GONNA SOOTHE MY SOUL ♪

♪ CAN'T WAIT

I'M GOING SHOPPING

IF YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME

YOU DON'T GOTTA JUDGE ME ♪

♪♪

♪ A LONG ROAD OPEN A LONG ROAD ♪

♪♪

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

♪♪

>>> WELCOME TO "GOLDEN AGE OF

HIP HOP."

I'M CHRIS HICKMAN AND I'M AN

ALCOHOLIC.

SORRY, FORCE OF HABIT.

THIS WEEK, WE LOOK BACK AT A

SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS HIP-HOP

GROUP, LENNY AND THE STREET

SMART CREW.

FORMED DURING THE ANTI-GANG

MOBILIZATION OF THE 1980s, THE

GROUP IS DEDICATED TO SENDING A

POSITIVE MESSAGE.

LIKE WITH THEIR FIRST HIT

SINGLE, "GANGS AIN'T GOOD (FREE

YOUR MIND)."

♪♪

>> HEY, KID, WANNA JOIN A GANG?

THINK AGAIN.

♪ GANGBANGIN' JUST AIN'T

A GOOD THING ♪

♪ SPRAYING PAINT

AND DRINKING WINE ♪

♪ IT JUST AIN'T RIGHT

FREE YO MIND ♪

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> YEAH, THEY SEEMED TO THINK

KIDS WERE JOINING GANGS

PRIMARILY TO DRINK WINE AND DO

GRAFFITI, I GUESS.

BUT WHATEVER THEIR INTENTIONS

WERE, THE SONG HAD THE OPPOSITE

EFFECT.

AND GANG MEMBERSHIP SKYROCKETED

THAT YEAR.

[ LAUGHTER ]

STREET SMART CREW BOUNCED BACK

IN 1992, HOWEVER, WITH THEIR

RACIAL UNITY ANTHEM, "YOU CAN BE

MY BROTHER, FRIEND."

>> WE GOT TO COME TOGETHER AS

ONE.

♪ IF YOU'RE BLACK

YOU CAN BE MY BROTHER

IF YOU'RE WHITE

YOU CAN BE MY BROTHER ♪

♪ IF YOU'RE ASIAN

YOU CAN BE MY BROTHER

JUST AS LONG AS YOU'RE

STRAIGHT ♪

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> BASICALLY, THEY DIDN'T CARE

WHAT RACE YOU WERE AS LONG AS

YOU WEREN'T HOMOSEXUAL.

EVEN FOR THE TIME, THE SONG WAS

DEEMED TONE DEAF AND BIZARRELY

HURTFUL.

SO THEY FOLLOWED IT UP WITH AN

APOLOGY SONG.

♪ LOVE WHOEVER YOU WANT

A MAN

WHOEVER THAT MAY BE

A WOMAN ♪

♪ YOUR LIFE YOUR CHOICE

JUST KEEP IT AWAY

FROM MEEEE ♪

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> AS YOU CAN SEE, LENNY AND THE

STREET SMART CREW WERE NEVER

QUITE ON THE BALL.

AFTER THAT SONG PICKED UP NO

STEAM WHATSOEVER, IN THE 2000s,

THEY WERE EVEN HARDER ON THE

GROUP.

THE GROUP'S LAST ATTEMPT AT

RELEVANCY IS 2008 WHEN THEY

RELEASED A SONG ENCOURAGING

EVERYONE TO VOTE IN THE UPCOMING

PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.

>> BARACK OBAMA AND JOHN McCAIN,

HERE'S A THOUGHT, WHY NOT BOTH?

♪ TWO PRESIDENTS

EVERYONE GETS THEIR WAY

YA YA YA YA YA ♪

♪ ONE IS BLACK ONE IS WHITE

NEITHER OF THEM ARE GAY

THEY NOT GAY THEY NOT GAY

NAH NAH ♪

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> STILL HOMOPHOBIC AFTER ALL

THESE YEARS.

I'M CHRIS HICKMAN.

THIS HAS BEEN "GOLDEN AGE OF HIP

HOP."

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>>> OH, MAN!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

DAVE CHAPPELLE, CHRIS ROCK. OH MY GOD

MY THANKS TO THE STROKES, JAMES TALARICO

EMMA STONE, WALTON GOGGINS

WE OUT!

♪♪