All language subtitles for The Goldbergs (2013) 02x02 - Mama Drama

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,167 The school play ... 2 00:00:01,208 --> 00:00:04,125 That time-honored tradition where a young, budding performer 3 00:00:04,167 --> 00:00:06,833 can walk the boards and feel the hot spotlight on their face. 4 00:00:06,875 --> 00:00:09,125 Sure, the sets were flimsy and the costumes cheap, 5 00:00:09,167 --> 00:00:11,833 but to us, it might as well have been Broadway. 6 00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,667 And I wanted nothing more than to be a part of it. 7 00:00:14,750 --> 00:00:17,500 "Jesus Christ Superstar"! 8 00:00:17,583 --> 00:00:20,750 The school is literally doing my favorite musical! 9 00:00:20,792 --> 00:00:22,000 It's fate! 10 00:00:22,083 --> 00:00:24,333 You're gonna become a musical-theater actor! 11 00:00:24,417 --> 00:00:26,917 That's every mother's dream for her son! 12 00:00:26,958 --> 00:00:29,000 This is perfect. I know every part. 13 00:00:29,083 --> 00:00:31,750 The question is, which one do I audition for? 14 00:00:31,792 --> 00:00:34,083 There is only one role suitable 15 00:00:34,125 --> 00:00:36,792 for my talented, delicious little boy. 16 00:00:36,833 --> 00:00:40,833 - My baby... is Jesus. - Yeah, that's a pretty demanding part. 17 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,708 Maybe Adam would be more comfortable playing something like ... 18 00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:46,875 - Get! Get out of here! - Hey! 19 00:00:46,917 --> 00:00:50,125 Filling his head with doubt and stupid ideas! 20 00:00:50,208 --> 00:00:54,208 I don't know, mom. I-It really is a tough part, 21 00:00:54,417 --> 00:00:56,208 and I'm always in the chorus ... 22 00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:59,708 Boopie, I've heard you sing in the shower, mm-kay? 23 00:00:59,792 --> 00:01:01,958 Not just "heard" ... listened. 24 00:01:02,042 --> 00:01:04,208 Not just "listened" ... taped. 25 00:01:04,250 --> 00:01:06,208 And sent to "Star search." 26 00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:08,500 I got to call them back. I haven't heard from Ed McMahon. 27 00:01:08,542 --> 00:01:10,125 I'll just drop him a line, see what's up. 28 00:01:10,208 --> 00:01:12,583 My baby is a star! 29 00:01:12,667 --> 00:01:14,875 Who was I to argue with Beverly Goldberg? 30 00:01:14,917 --> 00:01:17,542 I took her advice and auditioned for the Big "J." 31 00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:22,167 - # Try not to get worried # - # Try not to turn on to... # 32 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:26,250 - # ...problems that upset you # - # Oh, don't you know... # 33 00:01:26,542 --> 00:01:29,958 - # ...everything's all right # - # Yes, everything's fine # 34 00:01:30,042 --> 00:01:32,250 ♪ We want you to sleep well tonight ♪ 35 00:01:33,958 --> 00:01:35,250 Can I start over, please? 36 00:01:35,292 --> 00:01:39,042 - # And if you try, we'll get... # - # ...by so forget all about us... # 37 00:01:39,125 --> 00:01:41,917 - # ...tonight # - # Yes, everything's all right # 38 00:01:41,958 --> 00:01:44,458 ♪ Yes, everything's all right, yes! ♪ 39 00:01:44,542 --> 00:01:48,167 Well done, Mr. Goldberg. You've really improved since last year. 40 00:01:52,717 --> 00:01:55,383 Oh, god. The cast list is up. 41 00:01:55,425 --> 00:01:58,925 - Relax. You always get the lead. - Man, how are you so calm? 42 00:01:59,008 --> 00:02:01,375 Eh, Miss Cinoman kind of implied that I blew her mind... 43 00:02:01,376 --> 00:02:03,523 whatever. All I know is, there's a good chance 44 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:05,342 that I'm gonna be the Jesus to your Mary. 45 00:02:06,508 --> 00:02:10,133 It was that classic moment we've all been through, 46 00:02:10,175 --> 00:02:11,675 whether it was for sports or theater. 47 00:02:11,758 --> 00:02:15,758 We've all stood in front of a list to find out, "did I make the cut?" 48 00:02:16,375 --> 00:02:18,375 You were right! I'm Mary Magdalene! 49 00:02:18,458 --> 00:02:22,425 I was praying my name would be somewhere at the top of the list. 50 00:02:22,508 --> 00:02:25,967 Oh, god, no! Not the dreaded second page! 51 00:02:26,008 --> 00:02:29,024 Yes, I'm Jesus! Son of god, baby! 52 00:02:29,163 --> 00:02:31,955 Oh... that's great. Um, who did you get, Adam? 53 00:02:33,005 --> 00:02:36,672 Uh, I-I'll be right back. Miss Cinoman! 54 00:02:38,005 --> 00:02:40,297 I-I think there's been some kind of mistake 55 00:02:40,338 --> 00:02:42,588 because I'm pretty familiar with the musical, 56 00:02:42,672 --> 00:02:44,422 and there is no Todd the apostle. 57 00:02:44,463 --> 00:02:46,547 Oh, there's no Darnell the apostle, either. 58 00:02:46,588 --> 00:02:48,338 But there was such a large turnout, 59 00:02:48,380 --> 00:02:50,422 I took the liberty of expanding Jesus' followers 60 00:02:50,505 --> 00:02:51,922 - from 12 to 30. - 30? 61 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,547 You can't fit that many people at the last supper. 62 00:02:54,630 --> 00:02:56,297 Oh, yeah, there's gonna be another, smaller table 63 00:02:56,380 --> 00:02:57,630 off to the side. 64 00:02:57,713 --> 00:03:00,130 I'm at the kids' table at the last supper?! 65 00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:03,088 I'm sorry. There was a lot of competition this year. 66 00:03:03,172 --> 00:03:07,130 Remember ... there are no small parts, only small actors. 67 00:03:07,213 --> 00:03:10,422 But there are small parts! Very small! Like Todd! 68 00:03:10,505 --> 00:03:14,005 Do not let your heart be troubled, my child. Trust... in me. 69 00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:17,797 This putz? You made this putz Jesus? 70 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:19,222 Unreal! 71 00:03:19,305 --> 00:03:22,555 Yep, I was once again shoved into the background. 72 00:03:22,638 --> 00:03:25,055 It was the biggest heartbreak of my young life. 73 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:27,513 ♪ Everything's all right, yes, everything's fine ♪ 74 00:03:27,597 --> 00:03:28,805 Boopie? 75 00:03:28,888 --> 00:03:30,847 I've been calling. Meatloaf's ready. 76 00:03:31,697 --> 00:03:34,363 - Are you crying? - No. 77 00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:37,363 Who hurt you? Tell me and I will hurt them tenfold. 78 00:03:38,738 --> 00:03:41,822 I didn't get Jesus! I'm a random apostle, 79 00:03:41,863 --> 00:03:44,530 and I'm so sad 'cause I'm not good enough! 80 00:03:45,613 --> 00:03:47,197 I'm gonna ask you a question 81 00:03:47,238 --> 00:03:49,405 that you need to answer with complete honesty. 82 00:03:50,780 --> 00:03:53,238 Is there a world in which 83 00:03:53,322 --> 00:03:57,322 you are not the most deserving child for this role? 84 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:01,738 - There is no such world. - Honey, I can get involved. 85 00:04:02,363 --> 00:04:06,363 I want to get involved. 86 00:04:06,738 --> 00:04:08,905 But I need to know that's what you want. 87 00:04:08,947 --> 00:04:10,863 Usually, when my mother wanted to mix in, 88 00:04:10,947 --> 00:04:12,447 I'd push her away as far as possible. 89 00:04:12,530 --> 00:04:14,738 This was not one of those times. 90 00:04:14,780 --> 00:04:16,863 Do it, mama. Make me Jesus. 91 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,113 ♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪ 92 00:04:20,197 --> 00:04:23,572 ♪ but nonetheless I feel the need to say ♪ 93 00:04:23,573 --> 00:04:26,573 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 94 00:04:25,684 --> 00:04:27,863 ♪ I don't know the future ♪ 95 00:04:27,947 --> 00:04:30,288 ♪ but the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 96 00:04:30,372 --> 00:04:33,455 It was December 8th, 1980-something, 97 00:04:33,538 --> 00:04:35,497 and my dad was driving home from work 98 00:04:35,580 --> 00:04:36,955 and battling his mortal enemy... 99 00:04:37,038 --> 00:04:38,913 - Green light, people! - ...traffic. 100 00:04:38,997 --> 00:04:41,122 Green light! Why aren't you moving? 101 00:04:41,205 --> 00:04:42,413 Son of a ... 102 00:04:42,455 --> 00:04:43,997 You're letting him in?! 103 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,955 He's part of a funeral! That could be a hundred cars! 104 00:04:47,038 --> 00:04:50,747 What kind of crossing guard crosses one kid at a time?! 105 00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:53,372 You got to group 'em and herd 'em! 106 00:04:53,455 --> 00:04:56,497 Traffic even came before his favorite thing in the world ... 107 00:04:56,538 --> 00:04:57,872 - hockey. - ...Ho ho ho ho! 108 00:04:57,955 --> 00:05:00,663 Best game I've ever been to. Best game ... hands down. 109 00:05:00,747 --> 00:05:03,830 Let's go, Flyers, let's go! 110 00:05:03,872 --> 00:05:06,913 Let's go, Flyers, let's go! 111 00:05:06,997 --> 00:05:10,413 - Let's go, Flyers... Let's go. - What? There's 10 minutes left! 112 00:05:10,497 --> 00:05:12,080 - It's a tie game. We got to stay! - Unh-unh. 113 00:05:12,163 --> 00:05:13,845 When the game ends, we'll be stuck in 114 00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:15,663 the parking lot for six hours! Let's go! 115 00:05:15,747 --> 00:05:17,913 That's right. No one in our family had ever seen 116 00:05:17,997 --> 00:05:20,830 - the end of a game, concert, or show... - Will you just move your leg?! 117 00:05:20,872 --> 00:05:22,497 ...not when my father had traffic to beat. 118 00:05:22,580 --> 00:05:26,580 29 minutes, door-to-door! A brand-new record! 119 00:05:26,913 --> 00:05:28,955 My god, am I jealous of you two! 120 00:05:29,038 --> 00:05:33,038 Ron Hextall scores the final goal! Who would've figured that? 121 00:05:33,538 --> 00:05:36,247 Hextall? No, he's the goalie. 122 00:05:36,330 --> 00:05:39,205 - Goalies can't score. - That's what I thought! 123 00:05:39,247 --> 00:05:43,247 The first time in NHL history, and you guys were there! 124 00:05:43,455 --> 00:05:46,413 He's wrong. Goalies can't score. 125 00:05:46,497 --> 00:05:49,288 And that's the replay of the greatest goal in hockey history. 126 00:05:49,372 --> 00:05:50,872 It's one of those moments that makes you feel 127 00:05:50,913 --> 00:05:52,497 - lucky to be alive. - Huh. Goalies can score. 128 00:05:53,830 --> 00:05:55,122 You! 129 00:05:55,205 --> 00:05:56,872 Really? You're gonna make a thing out of this? 130 00:05:56,913 --> 00:05:59,122 You made me miss the greatest moment of my life! 131 00:05:59,205 --> 00:06:02,872 And for what? Traffic?! It isn't that bad! 132 00:06:02,955 --> 00:06:06,038 Stop right there! You should be thanking me. 133 00:06:06,122 --> 00:06:07,663 Thanking you? For what? 134 00:06:07,747 --> 00:06:09,872 You don't know the traffic that I've seen! 135 00:06:09,955 --> 00:06:13,538 Miles of cars lined up for hours, horns blaring! 136 00:06:13,622 --> 00:06:17,205 - I know what traffic is! - Grown men with their shirts off 137 00:06:17,288 --> 00:06:19,830 walking around 'cause it's so damn hot! 138 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:22,663 An A.C.'s not meant to run that long. It's not! 139 00:06:22,747 --> 00:06:25,455 It's hockey season! It's cold outside! 140 00:06:25,497 --> 00:06:27,038 - No one gets shirtless! - You want to know something? 141 00:06:27,122 --> 00:06:31,122 If I could, I'd go back in time and do it all over again. 142 00:06:31,455 --> 00:06:33,788 As a matter of fact, I'd leave earlier! 143 00:06:33,872 --> 00:06:35,663 That's what you'd do with a time machine? 144 00:06:35,747 --> 00:06:37,830 You'd go back and miss traffic? 145 00:06:37,913 --> 00:06:41,080 You wouldn't help people?! Save President Lincoln?! 146 00:06:41,122 --> 00:06:43,705 Oh, I'd help Abe! I'd go to the theater, 147 00:06:43,788 --> 00:06:45,830 I'd say, "hey, man, you ought to leave early tonight. 148 00:06:45,913 --> 00:06:48,038 Traffic's horrible! Trust me!" 149 00:06:48,122 --> 00:06:49,913 Boom! Just saved his life! 150 00:06:50,872 --> 00:06:52,872 While my dad was sticking to his guns, 151 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,497 my mom was in the principal's office with hers blazing. 152 00:06:55,538 --> 00:06:57,205 She stormed into my drama class, 153 00:06:57,288 --> 00:06:59,038 ranting at me like a crazy person. 154 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:03,080 We had to do a 45-minute massage train just to calm me down. 155 00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:05,372 Well, that's on you ... I mean, you wouldn't know a good Jesus 156 00:07:05,455 --> 00:07:07,038 if he walked right in here and punched you in the face. 157 00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:11,122 Okay. I'm glad to see that we're all calm now. 158 00:07:12,872 --> 00:07:16,555 Some... ugly things were said. And done. 159 00:07:16,788 --> 00:07:19,913 - Mostly by Mrs. Goldberg. - Look, I am sorry. 160 00:07:19,955 --> 00:07:23,455 Adam is very enthusiastic, and he works so hard. 161 00:07:23,497 --> 00:07:27,122 He's just not as skilled as like, say, Dave Kim. 162 00:07:27,163 --> 00:07:29,497 If I may, I just have one question. 163 00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:31,163 Are you [bleep] kidding me? 164 00:07:31,205 --> 00:07:32,034 - Whoa, whoa! - Hey! 165 00:07:32,197 --> 00:07:33,755 - Mrs. Goldberg. - Out of line! 166 00:07:33,830 --> 00:07:36,705 Mrs. Goldberg, this is a school. We can't speak like that. 167 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,105 Well, hear this. 168 00:07:38,147 --> 00:07:42,147 My son will be starring in his own school musical. 169 00:07:42,338 --> 00:07:45,172 His what? What does that even mean? 170 00:07:45,213 --> 00:07:48,047 "What does that even mean?" That's how you sound. 171 00:07:48,130 --> 00:07:51,047 It means Adam will be putting on a rival play. 172 00:07:51,130 --> 00:07:53,505 Yeah, well ... well, here's the thing. 173 00:07:53,588 --> 00:07:57,588 This is junior-high theater, and we have a budget for one play, 174 00:07:57,713 --> 00:07:59,838 and even that's a struggle to fill seats. 175 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,588 Tell me something, Earl. Uh, how's your wife? 176 00:08:04,422 --> 00:08:08,422 - She's fine. - Lovely woman. Pam, is it? 177 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:11,088 Remind me again how you two got together. 178 00:08:11,172 --> 00:08:13,213 Well, you knew her from jazzercize class. 179 00:08:13,255 --> 00:08:17,255 - You... introduced us. - Did I, now? Ohh. 180 00:08:17,672 --> 00:08:20,263 - And how was the wedding? - You were at the wedding. 181 00:08:20,305 --> 00:08:23,038 You made a speech, even though nobody asked you to. 182 00:08:23,122 --> 00:08:24,455 Well, from what I remember, 183 00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:27,080 that was the night you said, "how can I ever repay you?" 184 00:08:27,163 --> 00:08:30,330 And I said, "one day, I will come to you, 185 00:08:30,372 --> 00:08:32,413 and I will ask you for a favor." 186 00:08:32,497 --> 00:08:36,497 And you said, "but of course, Beverly. But of course." 187 00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:40,085 That day is today. 188 00:08:41,585 --> 00:08:45,585 - What's going on? - Adam is starring in a rival play. 189 00:08:49,268 --> 00:08:51,560 - I'm home! - Come on, Murray! 190 00:08:51,643 --> 00:08:54,268 A very special "love boat" is almost on! 191 00:08:54,310 --> 00:08:58,102 They're docking at "fantasy island"! They're crossing over! 192 00:08:58,185 --> 00:09:00,352 Oh, my god! That's unprecedented! 193 00:09:00,435 --> 00:09:03,602 All right. Gimme the remote. 194 00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:05,060 What? I thought you had it. 195 00:09:05,102 --> 00:09:06,893 I just came in the door! Why would I have a remote? 196 00:09:06,935 --> 00:09:08,768 I-I don't know. I figured you took it to work. 197 00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,435 Why would I take the remote to work? 198 00:09:10,518 --> 00:09:12,643 Who the hell knows? You're a quirky guy. 199 00:09:12,727 --> 00:09:15,227 Fine. I'll use my hand like an animal. 200 00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:19,302 - Where's the knob?! - Do you mean this knob? 201 00:09:19,343 --> 00:09:23,052 I'm so sorry. Are you missing something historical? 202 00:09:23,135 --> 00:09:26,085 Perhaps a crossover event of your two favorite shows that you'll 203 00:09:26,086 --> 00:09:28,718 never see, and it will haunt you for the rest of your life? 204 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:29,635 Gimme the knob. 205 00:09:29,718 --> 00:09:30,802 - No. - Gimme the knob! 206 00:09:30,885 --> 00:09:32,468 - No. No. - Gimme the knob! 207 00:09:32,552 --> 00:09:33,468 - No. No. - Gimme the knob! Gimme the knob! 208 00:09:33,552 --> 00:09:36,260 No. No. No. You took something I love. 209 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,510 Now I'm taking something you love. 210 00:09:38,552 --> 00:09:41,218 Well, what about me? I'm just an innocent bystander! 211 00:09:41,302 --> 00:09:43,468 Sorry, pops. Wrong place, wrong time. 212 00:09:43,552 --> 00:09:48,218 But I got to see this show. Tattoo and Gopher in the same room ... 213 00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:49,927 How's that gonna end? 214 00:09:50,010 --> 00:09:53,052 You are grounded, moron. Six months! 215 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,510 Fine! I'm never going to a hockey game with you again. 216 00:09:55,552 --> 00:09:58,343 But you ... you can't do that. Hockey's our thing. 217 00:09:58,385 --> 00:09:59,385 Not anymore. 218 00:09:59,468 --> 00:10:00,927 - Gimme the knob. - No. 219 00:10:01,010 --> 00:10:02,260 - Gimme the knob. Gimme the knob. - No. No. No. 220 00:10:02,343 --> 00:10:03,718 - Gimme the knob! - Fine! 221 00:10:05,052 --> 00:10:06,885 So, my dad finally got the remote, 222 00:10:06,968 --> 00:10:09,427 but he lost his favorite thing to do with his son. 223 00:10:09,510 --> 00:10:10,510 Forever. 224 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,968 I can't believe I'm doing a rival play! 225 00:10:14,010 --> 00:10:15,343 Now the question is, what's our show? 226 00:10:15,427 --> 00:10:17,010 I-It's got to be big ... bigger than Jesus. 227 00:10:17,093 --> 00:10:18,510 - "Music man"? - Yawn. 228 00:10:18,593 --> 00:10:20,260 - "Guys and dolls"? - Seen it. 229 00:10:20,343 --> 00:10:22,010 - "Phantom"? - You want to cover half of this face? 230 00:10:22,093 --> 00:10:23,177 - Wait! - What? 231 00:10:23,260 --> 00:10:27,177 It's so obvious. Who wants to waste their evening 232 00:10:27,218 --> 00:10:29,677 sitting through a silly musical about bible times 233 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,385 - when they can go to the future? - The future. 234 00:10:32,468 --> 00:10:36,093 Our musical is going to be an experience of sight and sound 235 00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:40,677 with actors not in common shoes, but roller skates, 236 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:44,927 a story not about people ... something bigger. 237 00:10:44,968 --> 00:10:46,810 - Trains. - Trains. 238 00:10:46,885 --> 00:10:48,302 "Starlight express"! 239 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,510 - L-look at my arm! - Ooooh. 240 00:10:52,593 --> 00:10:53,968 - Goosebumps. - Oooooh! 241 00:10:55,218 --> 00:10:57,760 All right! Well, all we need is a cast. 242 00:10:57,802 --> 00:11:00,968 Actually, I know a mighty talented girl named Dana 243 00:11:01,052 --> 00:11:03,510 who'd follow me to the ends of the Earth. 244 00:11:03,543 --> 00:11:06,677 - Uh, no. - We need to keep looking. 245 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,890 Well, we don't have a lot of options when it comes to 246 00:11:09,891 --> 00:11:13,135 leading ladies. I suppose I could maybe be the one to ... 247 00:11:13,218 --> 00:11:16,052 - You cannot. - This is a show for children. 248 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:20,510 Got it. Well, if it can't be me... 249 00:11:20,593 --> 00:11:23,260 and I think we've... ruled that out. 250 00:11:23,302 --> 00:11:25,552 - We have. - Right. 251 00:11:25,593 --> 00:11:27,768 How about the closest thing to me? 252 00:11:29,098 --> 00:11:32,265 Hello, daughter. Have a seat. 253 00:11:32,307 --> 00:11:35,348 I just happened to be digging around in your closet, 254 00:11:35,432 --> 00:11:39,473 and guess what I found. Three beers, a fake I.D., 255 00:11:39,557 --> 00:11:42,932 and sick notes for school that I don't remember writing. 256 00:11:42,973 --> 00:11:45,057 There is a simple explanation for all of that. 257 00:11:46,432 --> 00:11:48,598 I just need half an hour to collect my thoughts. 258 00:11:48,682 --> 00:11:51,848 Perhaps there's a world where I could overlook all this. 259 00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:54,882 - Really? - I can give you a pass this time. 260 00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:56,382 Just know that one day, 261 00:11:56,423 --> 00:11:58,715 I will come to you and ask you for a favor. 262 00:11:58,798 --> 00:12:02,707 - Yeah, great. That's totally fair. - And that day is right now. 263 00:12:02,768 --> 00:12:05,102 While my mom was forcing Erica to do the musical, 264 00:12:05,185 --> 00:12:08,893 my dad had forced pops to replace Barry. 265 00:12:08,935 --> 00:12:11,143 You're crowding me. Come on, man. 266 00:12:11,227 --> 00:12:13,935 Your ... your jacket's puffing into my side. 267 00:12:13,977 --> 00:12:16,352 So what? It's cold as hell in here. 268 00:12:16,435 --> 00:12:19,477 You think you can get them to turn the heat on? 269 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,685 No! There's a huge block of ice out there! 270 00:12:22,768 --> 00:12:26,935 Ugh! What's that terrible smell? W-what are you eating? 271 00:12:27,018 --> 00:12:29,477 I made myself a whitefish-salad sandwich. 272 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:30,768 Well, it's wafting! 273 00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:33,435 Barry and I get hot dogs because they don't waft! 274 00:12:33,518 --> 00:12:36,560 You know, I don't think this is about the whitefish 275 00:12:36,595 --> 00:12:40,352 or this giant thermos of borscht I'm about to open. 276 00:12:40,435 --> 00:12:44,910 I think this... is about Barry. - Oh, please. It is not. 277 00:12:44,993 --> 00:12:46,952 It's obvious ... you want to be here with him. 278 00:12:46,993 --> 00:12:50,917 Well, I-I do miss the moron a little. 279 00:12:51,068 --> 00:12:52,735 Hockey was our thing. 280 00:12:52,818 --> 00:12:56,818 Then just sit in traffic already. It's that simple. 281 00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:59,193 Traffic is non-negotiable. 282 00:12:59,277 --> 00:13:02,318 Murray, sometimes you have to do things you hate 283 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,402 - for the people that you love. - Eh. 284 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:06,943 Like how I'm here with you now. 285 00:13:09,643 --> 00:13:11,423 As much as my dad hated the sweet 286 00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,352 - stink of borscht... - Oh! Oh, that smell. 287 00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,393 ...he was still too stubborn to give in. 288 00:13:16,952 --> 00:13:20,493 Welcome to the first rehearsal of the disco-pop masterpiece 289 00:13:20,577 --> 00:13:21,910 "Starlight express." 290 00:13:21,952 --> 00:13:24,618 As you know, I'm Adam Goldberg, 291 00:13:24,660 --> 00:13:26,952 your director and leading man. 292 00:13:27,035 --> 00:13:31,035 And now please welcome my choreographer/assistant/mom, 293 00:13:31,368 --> 00:13:33,660 Beverly Goldberg. 294 00:13:33,743 --> 00:13:34,543 Hmm. 295 00:13:36,368 --> 00:13:38,660 Now, I need you all to pay real close attention, 296 00:13:38,743 --> 00:13:40,743 'cause I only want to do this once, okay? 297 00:13:40,785 --> 00:13:42,285 It's like I want to scream and run, 298 00:13:42,327 --> 00:13:44,785 but i also want to see what happens next. 299 00:13:44,827 --> 00:13:46,202 Five, six, seven, eight! 300 00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:47,868 "Starlight express"! 301 00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:49,618 "Starlight express"! 302 00:13:49,702 --> 00:13:52,327 The name of the show is "Starlight express." 303 00:13:52,390 --> 00:13:54,232 Smoking car. Smoking car. 304 00:13:54,315 --> 00:13:56,232 Dining car! Dining car! 305 00:13:56,315 --> 00:13:58,482 Sleeping car. Sleeping car. 306 00:13:58,523 --> 00:14:00,440 I think I can! I think I can! I think I can! 307 00:14:00,482 --> 00:14:03,482 Smile! Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a... 308 00:14:03,523 --> 00:14:06,296 There's a hobo on the train. 309 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,448 What fun. Thank you. 310 00:14:11,532 --> 00:14:13,865 All right. Everybody got it? 311 00:14:13,948 --> 00:14:16,907 Let's see it! Five, six, seven, eight! 312 00:14:16,948 --> 00:14:20,948 "Starlight express"! "Starlight express"! 313 00:14:21,015 --> 00:14:22,807 Ah, I like how some of you are going forwards 314 00:14:22,848 --> 00:14:24,807 and some of you are going sideways. 315 00:14:24,848 --> 00:14:28,682 Train hands. "Starlight express"! 316 00:14:29,807 --> 00:14:32,307 "Starlight express." 317 00:14:32,348 --> 00:14:36,207 Wow. You seriously think this is worth it? 318 00:14:37,557 --> 00:14:39,473 Thank you for this wonderful gift, mama. 319 00:14:39,557 --> 00:14:43,515 Sure, it was a train wreck, but she had my undying love. 320 00:14:43,598 --> 00:14:45,432 It's totally worth it. 321 00:14:48,607 --> 00:14:51,407 The opening night of "Starlight express" 322 00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:53,240 was quickly approaching, and I was melting down 323 00:14:53,323 --> 00:14:54,907 'cause our show was going off the rails. 324 00:14:54,990 --> 00:14:57,532 Three, four, five, six, seven, eight! 325 00:14:57,657 --> 00:15:00,490 Join on! Get there! Get there! 326 00:15:00,573 --> 00:15:01,698 What? 327 00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:07,865 Are you kidding me right now? 328 00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,948 You're going too fast, and I couldn't hook in. 329 00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:14,698 - And I'm fine. Thanks. - Uh, I-I think we need to take five. 330 00:15:14,782 --> 00:15:19,032 Do you think "Superstar" is taking five? No! They sold out! 331 00:15:19,115 --> 00:15:20,657 And how many tickets have we sold, Tyler? 332 00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:24,782 - Seven. - Seven tickets! And do you know why? 333 00:15:24,823 --> 00:15:28,240 It's because some of you, who shall remain nameless, 334 00:15:28,323 --> 00:15:30,323 have no talent. 335 00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:32,573 Sanjeev, Darlene, Ethel, skinny David, other David. 336 00:15:32,657 --> 00:15:33,740 You know what, Adam? 337 00:15:33,823 --> 00:15:36,240 I'm not taking five. I'm quitting. 338 00:15:36,282 --> 00:15:40,282 Fine! Quit! We don't need you! 339 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:43,073 [Aw, wait! She's the Caboose! Mom, stop her! 340 00:15:44,282 --> 00:15:48,240 - Hey. 'Sup? - I haven't seen you in a while. 341 00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:50,365 I know you've been super busy, but I miss you. 342 00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:52,073 Maybe later we could grab a bite? 343 00:15:52,857 --> 00:15:54,398 - Who sent you? - What? 344 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:55,732 Was it Miss Cinoman? 345 00:15:55,773 --> 00:15:57,565 'Cause this has her Cinoman-y stink all over it. 346 00:15:57,607 --> 00:15:59,315 I'm not spying on you, Adam. 347 00:15:59,398 --> 00:16:01,107 That's exactly what a spy would say. 348 00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:03,357 Oh, whatever. I'm gonna go. 349 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,107 Honey, you need to go apologize. 350 00:16:06,148 --> 00:16:09,678 I have to apologize? Have you seen your choreography? 351 00:16:10,065 --> 00:16:12,440 - Back to one, people! - In that moment, 352 00:16:12,523 --> 00:16:15,273 my mom realized she didn't make her little boy a star. 353 00:16:15,315 --> 00:16:17,573 She made him a monster. 354 00:16:17,657 --> 00:16:20,015 Meanwhile, my dad was still being monstrously stubborn. 355 00:16:20,057 --> 00:16:22,348 Out of options, he brought his favorite employee, 356 00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:23,640 Vic, to the next game. 357 00:16:23,723 --> 00:16:26,015 Whoa. Right on the glass. 358 00:16:26,098 --> 00:16:29,307 - Best seats for my best pal. - Hey, not bad. Thank you. 359 00:16:29,348 --> 00:16:32,473 Please stand for the Canadian national anthem. 360 00:16:32,615 --> 00:16:36,215 ♪ Oh, Canada ♪ 361 00:16:37,382 --> 00:16:41,382 ♪ my home and native land ♪ 362 00:16:41,507 --> 00:16:42,965 What are you doing? 363 00:16:43,048 --> 00:16:46,215 - I'm singing the song of my country. - What country? 364 00:16:46,257 --> 00:16:48,382 Canada. I'm from Edmonton. 365 00:16:48,423 --> 00:16:50,882 I've told you ... oh, forget it. 366 00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:54,965 ♪ Oh, Canada ♪ 367 00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:59,382 ♪ we stand on guard for thee ♪ 368 00:16:59,390 --> 00:17:01,373 As 10,000 people booed my father, 369 00:17:01,457 --> 00:17:04,207 he officially realized how much he missed Barry. 370 00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,332 What are you doing?! 371 00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:08,707 Back at home, my mom missed the days 372 00:17:08,790 --> 00:17:11,748 when I was happy just to be a schmo in the chorus. 373 00:17:11,832 --> 00:17:15,665 - Sorry I quit the play. - But in my defense... 374 00:17:15,748 --> 00:17:18,965 - it's a turd on wheels. - Oh, it really is. 375 00:17:19,007 --> 00:17:22,840 How did my sweet, little boy turn into such a monster? 376 00:17:22,923 --> 00:17:26,298 You shifted the world so it entirely revolves around him. 377 00:17:26,382 --> 00:17:28,132 Of course! It's what I do! 378 00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:31,715 But usually someone steps in and stops me. 379 00:17:31,798 --> 00:17:33,798 Look, I know Adam's your little superstar, 380 00:17:33,882 --> 00:17:36,090 but there's a reason he's always in the chorus. 381 00:17:36,132 --> 00:17:37,715 Well, I can't tell him that. 382 00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:40,119 - It would shatter his precious heart. - Aw. 383 00:17:40,323 --> 00:17:42,590 Lucky for you, I can. 384 00:17:45,193 --> 00:17:46,568 Hey, buddy. 385 00:17:46,652 --> 00:17:49,235 Mom needs to tell you something about the show. 386 00:17:52,652 --> 00:17:54,485 - She thinks it sucks. - What? 387 00:17:54,527 --> 00:17:55,818 Don't get her wrong, 388 00:17:55,902 --> 00:17:58,152 she thinks you're the most talented, delicious boy 389 00:17:58,235 --> 00:18:00,318 in the whole world, who deserves to be the star. 390 00:18:01,652 --> 00:18:03,152 But no one else does. 391 00:18:04,652 --> 00:18:09,364 - Mom? I-Is this true? - Honey, I, uh... 392 00:18:09,473 --> 00:18:12,307 I think we both got a little bit carried away. 393 00:18:12,390 --> 00:18:14,223 Maybe a little. 394 00:18:14,265 --> 00:18:18,223 I know how much you want this, and I want this for you... 395 00:18:18,307 --> 00:18:21,390 but sometimes... 396 00:18:21,473 --> 00:18:24,060 You just got to be Todd the apostle. 397 00:18:24,182 --> 00:18:26,839 Hearing that, coming from the woman who loved me too much, 398 00:18:26,879 --> 00:18:29,515 meant that it was time for me to hang up my skates. 399 00:18:29,557 --> 00:18:33,015 It's probably for the best. Dana's not talking to me, 400 00:18:33,098 --> 00:18:34,723 and Sanjeev did break his collarbone. 401 00:18:35,732 --> 00:18:38,523 But thanks for always believing in me, mama. 402 00:18:38,607 --> 00:18:41,065 Even when you probably shouldn't. 403 00:18:41,148 --> 00:18:42,315 ♪ don't hesitate ♪ 404 00:18:42,398 --> 00:18:45,315 ♪ put a little love in your heart ♪ 405 00:18:45,398 --> 00:18:46,773 I'll never stop. 406 00:18:46,815 --> 00:18:50,565 ♪ and the world will be a better place ♪ 407 00:18:50,648 --> 00:18:53,573 ♪ and the world will be a better place ♪ 408 00:18:53,615 --> 00:18:55,282 - Hey. - Busy. 409 00:18:56,798 --> 00:18:58,173 Too busy... 410 00:18:58,215 --> 00:19:01,215 for the greatest rivalry in the history of hockey? 411 00:19:01,298 --> 00:19:03,632 The Flyers-Rangers game? No way! 412 00:19:04,757 --> 00:19:08,548 - Still not interested. - What if we stay till the end? 413 00:19:08,632 --> 00:19:12,507 And get stuck in traffic? Why would you ever do that? 414 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,173 I miss you. 415 00:19:15,298 --> 00:19:17,965 - Say it again. - No. 416 00:19:18,007 --> 00:19:20,465 You love me more than you hate traffic ... say it! 417 00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:22,548 - You're a moron. - Say the words. 418 00:19:22,632 --> 00:19:24,382 - No. - Say the words. 419 00:19:24,465 --> 00:19:25,798 - No. No. - Say the words. Say the words. 420 00:19:25,882 --> 00:19:28,277 - No. No. No. No. No. No. No. - Say the words. Say the words. 421 00:19:28,332 --> 00:19:29,998 My dad never said the words, 422 00:19:30,082 --> 00:19:32,582 but Barry knew he meant them when he heard the final buzzer. 423 00:19:34,748 --> 00:19:36,540 It wasn't a historical hockey moment, 424 00:19:36,623 --> 00:19:38,873 but it was a historical night for the Goldbergs ... 425 00:19:38,957 --> 00:19:42,290 the first time any of us saw the end of a game. 426 00:19:42,373 --> 00:19:45,707 And, sure, they got stuck in traffic for two hours 427 00:19:45,748 --> 00:19:47,207 and complained the whole time... 428 00:19:47,248 --> 00:19:50,415 Whoa, what ... what is she doing? Ohhh! 429 00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:52,540 ...but my dad didn't care 430 00:19:52,582 --> 00:19:56,165 'cause it meant being stuck for two hours with his kid. 431 00:19:56,248 --> 00:19:58,582 And turns out, miss Cinoman was right ... 432 00:19:58,623 --> 00:20:01,748 there are no small roles, only small actors. 433 00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:05,748 I was the greatest 30th apostle at the kids' table 434 00:20:05,832 --> 00:20:07,373 the world had ever seen... 435 00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:10,373 I love you, Todd the apostle! 436 00:20:10,415 --> 00:20:12,790 ...and it felt great. 437 00:20:12,873 --> 00:20:14,373 Whoo! 438 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:27,040 ♪ Can it be what it seems? ♪ 439 00:20:27,248 --> 00:20:30,957 ♪ there will be no more love ♪ 440 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,915 ♪ there will be no more dreams ♪ 441 00:20:37,138 --> 00:20:38,388 Come on! 442 00:20:38,472 --> 00:20:41,097 Green light, people! Green light! 443 00:20:41,180 --> 00:20:44,055 One car went through! One car! 444 00:20:44,138 --> 00:20:47,847 Move it, lady! What are you, Sally Field?! 445 00:20:47,930 --> 00:20:49,888 Put your makeup on at home! 446 00:20:49,972 --> 00:20:52,305 Oh, there's a baby on board?! 447 00:20:52,347 --> 00:20:55,055 I'll tell you what, there's a moron on board! 448 00:20:55,138 --> 00:20:55,846 Moron! 449 00:20:55,847 --> 00:20:57,680 Son of a ... 450 00:20:57,763 --> 00:21:00,513 Car full of morons! 451 00:21:01,458 --> 00:21:04,739 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~35902

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