Original subtitles

Hail Mary full of grace. What is today's password?

When the birds fly low, it's cold as hell.

You're in the heart of the building.

From here orders are given to the entire world.

We have an absolutely perfect information web.

Follow me.

These letters are the abbreviation for...

International Action Against Terrorism

In Spanish Accione Internacional Contra El Terrorismo

This ultra secret organization was developed by...

...the free countries of the world.

Its mission is to thwart every act of terrorism on the planet.

You can now use your cameras.

And now if you'll be kind enough, we'll move on to section B.

Where I'll show you where we torture terrorists.

Incorrect... there are still dust particles on the screen.

You're getting bad,Hal... you've become too spoiled.

Where are you going tonight, Mari Pepi?

I don't have to explain anything to you.

You don't need to know, Hal

Good day,Mr Alfa.

There's nothing good about this day.

Yesterday in Candanch�, Agent Delta 3 was assassinated.

That's horrible.. Wasn't she under cover as a high profile model?

Exactly... We classified her as Miss Photogenic.

She was the prettiest secret agent in the galaxy.

Her assassination confirms our suspicions.

We must act immediately... I need three agents... the best.

We'll leave the selection to our computer.

Insert all the available information into Hal,

- ... regarding training and ability. - Yes.

- Those criminals will be sorry. - No!

- We'll blow them to pieces. - Don't light it! No!

Major Sam Stevenson North American.

World wrestling champion, ex-combat soldier in Vietnam.

A mercenary in Africa and the Middle East.

Marcello Antonelli, an Italian.

A designer. Ten years in Houston�s space suit department,

used by NASA astronauts.

He joined this organization in 1981

Allyson Love, champion in swimming, tennis and track.

Her godfather, a friend of her dad, is the famous James Bond.

She joined in 1982... code name "The Body".

Damn machine! You're cheating.

Correct. I was programmed by the CIA secret Service.

I'm programmed to play dirty.

Well.. I can play dirtier than you.

Come in.

Mission completed, boss.

Did you find all three?

Send them in

And call for a technician in cybernetics.

At your orders.

Come in.

Agent Allyson Love

- Major Sam Stevenson - Marcella Antonelli,sergeant.

At ease. Take a seat.

An attempt against you?

I did it shaving...

besides, it's none of your business.

Have you heard of Galaxy fashions?

It's a collection of women�s clothing.

The most spectacular of the century.

Exactly... Here's the paperwork.

This man is Narisa Tashi The creator of Galaxy Fashions.

It seems to be, he achieves the amazing print of his textiles,

using an ancestral oriental formula, which he keeps absolutely secret.

Every international spy has tried to discover his secret.

I read in a magazine... Tashi has an enormous life insurance policy.

You bet he has... I believe it's for 7 million dollars

He has bodyguards protecting him day and night

Access to Tashi is as difficult as Ronald Reagan�s desk drawer.

Our agent Delta 3 got to him... and then she died.

Oh God... poor Katrina...

- she was so educated. - Did you know her?

We joined the organization together...

We were partners at the training camp.

- She was professional and a good person. - Just like you.

That's why you're the perfect substitute.

Starting tomorrow, Allyson Love will be the new Delta.

Come in.

- The cybernetic technicion,Mr Alfa. - Send him in.

Come in

Good afternoon, gentlemen...

I'm sorry for being late. I'm the computer technician.

CIA,KGB and FBI are my most trusted clients.

My service is very expensive, but very efficient.

I'll have your equipment humming like new.

I want you to disconnect that monster for a couple of days.

- Incapacitate, is that right? - Totally.

What is my mission,Mr Alfa? To discover the formula?

Yes,yes. That was the original objective of Delta 3.

But once she was hooked, she discovered something more.

- What's that? - I don't know.

She was about to tell us when she was killed.

Who did it?

- We believe it was the work of Kong. - Kong?

Kong...

Ladies and gentlemen.. before you is the World Champion.

Undefeated for five years... The genius of wrestling...

Sam Stevenson

The Steel Angel... Weighing in at 200 pounds.

And over here... a human wall.

A brutal fighter.

Fighting for the title... Kong the Destroyer.

Kong with the Arm of Death.

Weighing in at 290 pounds.

I want a clean match... no dirty fighting allowed.

Now go to your corners.

He'll see.

Face to face!

Come closer.

Kong?

Yes,kong. Major Stevenson, you know him.

He's not a human... he's a killing machine.

Even machines have a point of extermination.

I have a score to settle with that beast.

Here's your opportunity... to settle all accounts

...served to you on a platter.

I like what's on the platter... but I prefer seafood.

At the current cost of seafood,

the organization would rather pay you with a long vacation.

Besides you need to watch your body.

Yes, now that I think about it, that man isn't worth anything.

Who is the man who says such things about you?

- Dangerous? - Very much.

- Then take care of him. - With pleasure.

I will destroy him with my infinite power.

Just use the minimum effort... you're not.

I'm sorry.

Mr. Alfa, I�ll capture that gorilla, and send him to the zoo.

That's the word of an honorable mercenary.

And you,Sgt Antonelli

You will infiltrate as a fashion designer working for Galaxy Fashions.

And you expect them to hire me just like that?

The next show will be the day after tomorrow,here,in Madrid.

We'll be playing on home turf.

It won't be hard to introduce you and Ms Allyson into their organization.

- Don't worry about the details. - And me?

- Here is your press pass. - Sam Nelson, journalist.

Specializing in Women's magazines.

They can check your articles in Vogue,Elle,Cosmopolitan and Garbo.

You guys cover everything.

Your first job is to interview this woman.

An authentic beauty Jacqueline Genet

As you can see... there's nothing wrong with her.

Is she the widow of the Greek millionaire, Stavros?

Exactly.. the fifth biggest fortune in the world.

She sponsors Galaxy Fashions.

You Stevenson, have a lunch appointment with Jacqueline.

- Oh yes, where? - In Athens.

Do you like moussaka?

Yes, but I'd rather have a good beer and pretzels.

No. Don't do it. Please.

Don't you know... that hurts me.

I love your apartment...

It's so simple... but it brings back many memories.

Yes. Yes. A little apartment...

- While you cheated on me in Beirut. - Don't be so jealous.

Jasmine Novaleska was only a work partner.

- You hurt me a lot. - You've always been special to me.

The more you lie... the more you hurt me.

I love making love to you..

You could alter the patterns on clothing.

In the Valentina number you were superb.

But listen... when I come back from Greece...

I'll surprise you with a Humphrey Bogart.

Athens, April 3rd 1 pm

Mrs. Stavros, I�m very honored that you accepted my lunch invitation.

Please, just call me Jacqueline.

I hate using my husband's last name as a calling card.

Do you also hate your husband's fortune?

Touche,journalist. Touch�.

You know how to take a hit. That means you have class.

My dear friend, you don't look like a journalist.

You look too smart for that job. Am I right?

You don't look like a millionaire widow, either.

- Not what I expected. - Oh no?

What type of millionaire widow did you expect?

That... I'll tell you later. Let's have a toast.

- For what? - Let's not look far... to us.

Very good

- To us. - To us.

Excuse me.. Are you Marquesa de Andrade?

Yes... that's me. And who are you?

- I am Marcella Antonelli. - Oh... the famous comedian?

- Designer, madam. A designer. - I am Marquesa de Andreda

I organized the fashion scene here in Spain.

Please have a seat. Oh,what a relief.

You don't know how impatiently I've been waiting for you.

I'm all alone... trying to organize a new show.

There are so many details

But now, with you by my side, everything will be fine.

Doesn't Mr. Tashi supervise the models personally?

That's what I thought.

But since he arrived, the day before yesterday,

he hasn't moved from his bedroom.

He's a very strange man.

These are times for very strange men.

Please Mr. Antonelli... would you like to come with me?

What? Oh yes.

Don't worry, I'm right behind you.

Come in Marcello... I'll show you to your bedroom.

- Good afternoon. - Good day.

Good afternoon... very good...

- Ms Rhythm and Ms Sport. - Yes.

They're a bit skinny, don't you think?

I think all women should follow the classic fashions...

Remember how the women used to look, painted by the Masters?

Oh,but of course.

For example, the painting "Disgrace" An authentic piece of art.

Come on in. Here it is, Marcello

Here is your room, right in front of mine.

How lucky... maybe we can play a little bit.

I think we could play some very interesting games.

I must leave you now. But tonight I'll see you in my room at midnight.

I'll have Champagne ready.

Men take such advantage of beautiful women.

I don't know what I'm doing here. I always thought hotel rooms were too cold.

Nobody forced you to come.

I have a strange attraction for unexpected things.

What can I do to help you?

That's up to you. I'll accept any idea.

At this moment I only have one.

Come here beautiful. Come to mama. Come here.

I receive no visitors at this time.

It's me, Allyson.

You scared me. I thought it was someone else.

We have to get into Tashi's room, no matter what.

I'm sure he's the clue to this whole ordeal.

Nobody has seen him since he arrived.

Plus there are guards at his door, day and night.

- There's only one way to reach him. - How?

By getting on the roof through Marquesa's bedroom.

Mama Mia!

And how do you propose getting into that seal's bedroom?

- You'll do it for me. - Me? How?

By seducing Marques de Andrade.

No...

- Your time is up! - No!

- Don't kill him. - Mantis gave me firm orders.

I'll deal with Mantis.

I hope you know what you're doing,Mrs Stavros.

- Yes. Who is it? - Your Latin Lover.

I've counted the minutes. The seconds.

Touch here. Do you feel anything?

Yes, size 48 D.

That's the rhythm of my chest

No difference between cannons and heartbeats.

I'm all yours. Do whatever you want.

It's so hot!

Perhaps some special Dom from 1927? My fantasy.

You are so impetuous.

You must be that way... you're Italian, it�s in your blood.

Champagne for my Marcello. Tell me whatever you want.

- To us. - To us...

This tastes terrible.

Keep your hands to yourself.

Marcello, why are you treating me like this?

Because you're an octopus...

You're going to ruin it by touching me so much.

Don't take my good nature this way.

I'm single and inexperienced... plus, I�m an old man.

I don't care Marcello. I don't care. I want you!

Narisa.. Narisa!

They drugged me.

Well, I hope this will convince Professor Tashi of the danger he's in.

- You see? An ear. - An ear.

A well earned trophy, friend. He was stepping on enemy ground.

Maybe he won't be able to listen so good anymore.

- What did you say? - Nothing, nothing important.

You're so big you scare me. Sit down.

Yes. Whatever you say.

I am going to send Mrs. Stavros to Kyoto, to deliver this present.

- And Stevenson? - I'm going to re-program him.

- He could be very helpful to our cause. - That was not our agreement!

I don't bargain with men, I simply use them.

There's only a few days left until I have in my power,

the biological weapon that will eliminate the male sex

from the face of the Earth. Only 200 selected males,

will have the privilege to live as sperm donors,

in the new order, established by Matriarka.

After that, nothing will go wrong.

Here are a few of the candidates.

If you want to stay in the elite 200

You must obey me... no questions asked.

I have the privilege of introducing Ms Harriet Anderson.

Norwegian 21 years old, Miss Bikini.

Our second model, we welcome Ms Lolita Ramos.

Maracaibo Venezuela. she's 19, Miss Caribbean.

You will agree with us, Miss Caribbean is explosive.

We Yankees always find a solution for everything.

Especially those of us who read Reader's Digest.

That's it, and now... the fireworks.

I hope it works!

And now I'll make myself invisible.

Good morning Major Stevenson.

As you can see, your tricks are no good.

We captured you with no problem.

Poor idiot... trying to escape from Matriarka.

Matriarka? What is that? A taco?

Listen, we know each other, right?

Don't worry about that now. We have lots of work to do.

Where am I? What are you doing with me?

Too many questions, Major.

To start... I can tell you, this is a Re-program Room.

You're going into a session which will change your ideas.

Your morals, your objections.

I see.. you're going to brainwash me.

The members of your sex are so stupid.

Among all of you, there�s nothing but dumb beasts.

Look, Professor Ed Goldstein from Columbia University.

The most brilliant mathematician of this century.

A genius comparable only to Einstein.

Carlo Piassi,undisputed international tennis champion.

He beat McEnroe, and he's a finalist with Guillermo Vilas,

In the tournament held by the princess Caroline of Monaco.

Nobel prize winner for literature,Milos Veitga.

He's the superb master with words.

With these, we can bring it together for the cause.

They, just like you, resisted the re-programming.

But now they realize we are right.

Soon they will be worshipping Matriarka.

Truthfully, I�d rather worship you. You look gorgeous.

You're so macho, and stupid!

Enough playing around... start the treatment.

You will soon see what pain is.

And now, our latest acquisition Miss Allyson Kelly.

24 years old, from Britain. She's Miss Congeniality.

What a beauty, Miss Marquesa. What a beauty.

She's the most beautiful. Your best model, No doubt.

Mr. Antonelli, you sound like you're watching a football team.

Football team? What would they want with someone like me?

Alright,girls since today is the first presentation,

I have some presents for you,

given to us by the famous cosmetics company Patchouli.

Mr. Antonelli, please get the gifts for the girls.

Of course, right now... Mrs. Marquesa.

What horror! A dead body in the closet!

It's my servant. And she's dead!

Dead. Totally dead. She's very cold.

I'm fainting. Fainting.

Don't faint Marquesa, please.

She fainted. Fainted. I guess she fainted.

I'm sorry, Ronald...

But the tricks you taught me in the CIA are not working.

I'll have to dig into my spiritual reserves.

They come from my mother, who was very religious.

I'm sure I will be alright at the end of the trance.

Horrible. Horrible. For this to happen to me

I've led a good life.. and I voted democratic.

Mrs. Marquesa, in this residence,

it's obvious strange things are happening... very strange.

Elementary, don�t you think?

No doubt,commisioner. No doubt.

There are strange people in this house.

And nobody knows what they're doing here.

- Elementary, don�t you think? - Whatever you say.

We'll keep an eye on everyone.

You need to watch who comes in and goes out. Identify everyone.

We'll do it together, Mr. Commissioner. We'll do it.

- Narisa. Narisa... - Who are you?

A friend. Hurry up... we must get out of here.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Hide here.

The pillow saved me.

Come on. Come on. Before anyone sees us.

- The ambulance got here. - Finally.

They're getting better.

This time it only took 3 hours and 15 minutes.

You know, I�m allergic to paramedics.

I don't know why. But I am.

How are we going to get out of here? They'll recognize us.

I don't think so. We'll change our clothes.

Yes. But to what?

I don't care. We can dress as anything. Don't worry..

- I'm the one with the brains here. - We'll see.

Dear students, today we'll study lesson 96.

Plan for a hard test... but be very practical.

Here is a male specimen.

After a few experiments, we�re finally getting somewhere.

Please pay attention to the professor.

First we have a muscular evaluation.

The chains he's wearing are made of steel.

We'll see how far his strength can take him.

Try hard man.

The specimen is small, but he's very strong.

You, Sadoka,

whip him a couple of times... let's see about his stamina.

It's great. It's great.

Enough. Enough. The specimen has great resistance.

Proceed to the last test.

Kissing and caressing..

This is the most difficult test.

He might have good sperm... I like his reactions.

We'll see how he handles the sexual test.

Sit down, Major Stevenson.

You've had a very agitating morning.

Let's see what you learned today, my dear friend.

The world is dominated by men.

And men will take the earth to its ultimate destruction.

Man is inferior, childish, ultraviolent...

and does not have healthy brain waves.

Women are superior...

They are mature, very smart, and sufficient...

- What is Matriarka, Sam? - The definitive feminine organization.

By copying the laws of nature it is correct that women should rule the earth.

They should take over the world and abolish men.

How will Matriarka finally triumph?

Thanks to the work of Professor Toshiro Tashi.

He created a special virus which infects only males.

With that, men will disappear from the map.

And machismo will die forever.

Matriarka, under the laws of Mantis...

will introduce a new social order to this planet.

That's how I like it, Sam. That's how I like it.

I see you're a well disciplined boy.

I will install a new social order, with a place for you.

Take him to the room for sexual evaluation.

After the exams, you must start studying the Green Book of codes.

Stop. Stop.

Come on. Let's go.

Pass him the vase.

To the examination room.

For our test today, we've selected five members,

experts in sexual techniques.

Mennet,she worked as a prostitute for Madame Claude in Paris.

Mary Ann McAndrews, from Los Angeles.

She worked as a stripper in Las Vegas.

She was thrown out of her country for public scandal,

and corruption of elderly men.

They arrested her for turning tricks in Disneyland.

Gina Margareta, from Napoli.

Her beauty caused a brawl between two mafia gangs

which, in 1983 ended in a bloody massacre

in San Pedro plaza, near the Vatican.

Suzy Wong, from Thailand.

She contributed to the defeat against the USA in Viet Nam,

by giving 14,623 marines venereal disease.

That's humorous.

That's very enterprising.

Now for the evaluation team.

On the screen you'll see the phallic scale.

From 1 to 4 means the subject is incapable of ejaculation.

From 5 to 7 is the minimum requirements.

From 7 to 8 is a little better.

From 8 to 9, he's a super stud.

And 10, he's just a dream...

Emergency! Emergency!

Stop. SOS.

Thanks to Mary..

- Good afternoon, sisters of God. - Good afternoon, children of God.

How can we help you?

We had an accident, can you give us a push to Madrid?

No problem, brother. No problem.

- A progressive nun,eh? - I'm charmed.

- We've been waiting for you. - For me?

- We're in luck. - Surprise!

He's outrageous!

- Sam? - At your order, my Mantis.

Sam! What a disaster.

What a way to start a day.

Maybe I should play the Lotto.

Hello.

Hail Mary, full of grace. What's the password today?

We should all take yellow flowers to Mary.

Son, I think you forgot your deodorant today.

- I stepped in some dog shit! - Good God, my son.

Perhaps the sidewalk in front of the church should be cleaner.

Now you are in our power...

Matriarka gives the orders.

And we obey without question.

We must eliminate Mr. Alfa.

But I... I love him.

Now you only love Matriarka.

Can I kill somebody else?

For example, could I kill Mr. Ochoa?

Good morning Mr. Alfa.

- You are? - Security.

- Your name? - Toby,Sir.

What are your credentials?

I've been at war for over two years,

I was head of the CIA in Central America,1881-1982

We escaped after the government collapse in Peru.

Any problems with the police, son?

I've had problems with the police. I did time for corruption of minors, sir.

- Are you a homosexual? - Not yet, sir.

- Or a communist? - Of course not, sir.

At ease, Toby.

Congratulations. Men like you are fundamental for the system.

Too bad you're a negro.

- Good morning, Mr. Alfa. - Good morning.

It's a splendid day.

- By the way... Get me some lotto tickets. - Yes sir.

Good morning.

You don't have a happy face today.

Let's look at the news.

Car race in Bilbao. Well..

Great success predicted by the Manager of Commerce.

The Americans will not buy our breakfast.

Instead of eating oatmeal, they are eating more donuts.

Due to the situation, merchants now don't regret making better donuts

for their business.

Savage attempt against an ultra secret agent.

It's really bad, if this keeps up,

I'll be the only one left in this organization.

Your head massages are wonderful, Mari Pepi.

But the tickling is killing me.

Here's a gift for you, Number 1.

Yes, three magnificent examples, Kong. Congratulations.

You again? You won't get away with this.

You'll never get away with this plan.

My father will never work with you.

I repeat: You won't get away with it.

Oh no? And who will stop me?

Somebody who hasn't relinquished his super powers.

- Somebody who will destroy all your plans - Yes?

Bring the man in here. Hurry.

Are you, perhaps, talking about Major Stevenson?

Sam!

- Kneel down! - This is absurd.

Please, Sam. What's wrong with you? What have they done?

It's useless, don�t even try.

Your friend is now under my control.

Every one of his cells is ready to respond to my commands.

Don't trust him. He's very smart.

Sam,Sam,my friend, wake up! Don't you know me?

It's Marcello! Marcello Antonelli, Remember me.

Sam make him shut up!

You're a monster!

Take that woman to the chamber for re-programming.

I'll give further orders later.

- And these two? - Easy,Kong,don't get anxious.

We need Narisa alive, and under control.

Take him out of here.

Eliminate whoever gets in your way.

And that one?

Take him to the chromosome tester.

It will be fun to conduct experiments on him.

You'll never get away with this!

Department of re-programming

Listen carefully, I�m sending Sam with a delicate associate.

I want to use Allyson Love as a human bomb.

A kamikaze in the service of Matriarka.

After that massage, do you know what I'd like?

A good cigar.

No! You can't smoke that!

- What are you doing, Mari Pepi? - Saving your life.

- What was that? - An explosion.

- I was trying to kill you. - You?

He made me do it!

The other day you hired someone to fix the computer, remember?

Well, an enemy agent disguised as a technical repair woman.

- I remember, yes. - She altered Hal's program.

Now it only receives orders from terrorists know as Matriarka.

Mr. Alfa must be eliminated.

- My God! - What's going on?

My self destruction program has been activated.

It's been activated!

We're all going to Hell. This machine will blow like a nuclear reactor.

8... 7... 6...

Half the city will blow up!

Ecologists won't ever talk to me again.

3...

Don't you know the password to deactivate it?

How could I know a enemy password?

I have an idea!

Auto destruction has been deactivated.

Mari Pepi, you made my day. I congratulate you.

It's a pleasure to be back with AIIT, a democratic organization.

Thank you,Mari Pepi. I owe you my life.

You don't have to thank me,

I've always been secretly in love with you.

I don't know why.

The reason is obvious. I am an elegant man, attractive, intelligent,

refined and educated at Oxford.

But no...

You shouldn't think about this. You know how it goes.

Articles 78 and 79.

A relationship between two agents is forbidden at IAAT.

The person that wrote that article, doesn't have any idea

of what goes on in a woman's heart.

No idea.

Don't touch me. I don't want to see you.

They're watching us, be very careful.

Don't worry, because nobody can beat a man of action.

Nobody can beat a man of action. A military man!

Don't you see what this guy is doing?

It's a shame. People nowadays don't have any education.

This program is interrupted due to technical difficulties.

People in Central Control are going nuts.

Come on. Switch off close circuit and put on something else.

With this cologne ESSENCE OF THE DEVIL

Your man will be irresistible.

I'm so irresistible.

My nose is blocked up. I can't breathe.

I've been taking medicine with no result.

You can't believe anything you see on television.

Oh well, maybe I'll try this one.

Hey! This really works.

This elixir is so great.

Cure whatever ails you, with Rasputin Medicine.

Now you can talk.

I don't want to talk. I don't trust you anymore.

You would be a terrible spy. You don't understand anything.

They tried to re-program me.

It was a bad experience. I had to use every technique,

yoga relaxation, and prayers my mother taught me.

including astrological equations.

But in the end, I beat the machine.

So what happened in the chamber?

That was all an act. I want to unmask that woman.

And the best way to do it, is to play her game.

I see. And what is she planning on doing with me?

She's going to give you the same treatment. Can you resist?

If you can do it, why can't I? Stop being so macho, Sam.

I'm just talking, that�s all.

It wasn't the first time I was tortured.

In Viet Nam,in Angola, and in Uganda.

Uganda...

Only strong men survive on this planet.

Men from the CIA cannot make it. They are the weakest. Right?

You're sick, Kong. You'd sell your mother for a dollar.

If the pay is good, nothing else matters.

Plus, the ones in charge are...

What do you know about the operation in Mogambo?

You go to hell, Snow White.

You son of a bitch! To death's door for you.

You're going to like what we do to you.

Merry Christmas,Mr Stevenson.

It's better than sliced bread... better than bread...

It's horrible what they did to you.

It's still fresh in my memory.

But in Andorra, I got an amazing transplant,

and I've been happy ever since.

I don't doubt it. Don't worry,darling,I'll resist.

I'll tell you how.

- Allyson,what is that? - It's morphine.

I just have to put it in my mouth.

And I'll be in a trance like a zombie.

I'll be asleep, while the rest of the world thinks I'm awake.

Well girl...

I'm sorry I had to hit you earlier.

Sam,I was so scared. I was convinced you were one of them.

Hopefully,this nightmare will end soon.

When it's over, I�m taking a vacation.

I have a house by the beach, where I can enjoy fishing.

I need somebody to bait the hooks. Interested?

That's the most honest proposition I've ever heard.

KYOTO... YOU ALREADY KNOW IT'S IN JAPAN

- At your service. - Professor Tashi?

Yes. Come in, please.

- I could also call the police. - But you won't.

If my people don't hear from us within three hours,

your son will be executed.

Convince yourself. You have no choice but to co-operate with us.

Give us the new gas.

If you do it, I�ll assure you, that you and your son,

will escape the extermination of the males.

Very good. I'll do what you say.

I hope so.

Can you wait outside for a few minutes?

I trust you, professor. You seem to be very serious.

Close the screen.

You aren't going to play us for fools.

- I want the damn formula. - I don't have the formula.

I didn't travel all this way to see a Hara-Kiri show.

Do you understand? I'm counting to three.

1... 2...

Professor Tashi's assistant Yoko has the formula.

Where can I find her?

She's at the Grand Hotel preparing the fashion show.

Yoko is the girlfriend of the professor's son.

I came from far away to talk with you.

I won't tolerate any nonsense.

Hansa sent me.

He said you were the only one who could tell me what I need.

If you don�t, your boyfriend will pass to another life.

I'll do whatever you say. But please, don�t hurt him.

Hello.

What took you so long?

- What's wrong? - The game is over, sister.

Your brainwashing didn't work on me.

He-men from Minnesota are always hard headed.

- What are you saying? - It's time for the truth.

I talked to you about it in Athens, remember?

No, I don't understand, Sam.

I don't understand you either.

Why are you involved in that gang of killers for Matriarka?

- Who is Mantis? - I don't know.

Nobody knows. She's a cruel woman.

She made me do it. She used my money for her plans.

Believe me, please. You must believe me.

Today you were responsible for the death of an innocent man.

What could I do?

She would've killed me, if I hadn't found the formula.

I believe you, and I understand. But now you must help me.

I'll do whatever you tell me.

Why don't you want me?

The last time we got romantic, I ended up in a cell.

She made me do it, I swear.

She uses everything and everybody,

- just like your friend. - Allyson?

Yes, tomorrow afternoon, during a fashion show,

- at the house of Marquesa de Andrade - Continue.

- Allyson will be there with them. - Oh, yes?

Yes. But she'll have a bomb hidden in her jewels.

It will blow up everyone at the ceremony.

That explosion will make the whole world aware of Matriarka.

I must warn Allyson.

They'll have her locked up until the last minute.

- I must inform my boss. - Mr. Alfa? That's not possible.

He was assassinated this morning in his office.

We must to stop that crime.

We're going to Madrid right now.

Look at her earrings.

Tomorrow, at a scheduled time, each one of them will detonate

the high power micro-explosives that are hidden inside.

Allyson love will blow through the air,

along with everyone else within a radius of 100 meters.

This is the last stage of my job.

Marcello Antonelli A hot Latin lover.

- Converted to a woman. - You operated on him?

No, he still looks like a man.

But he thinks, feels, and acts, like a woman.

- Voila! - What voila?

What's the hurry? Where to? I'm not ready yet.

Tomorrow we go back to Marquesa de Andrade's house.

Marquesa is big and fat, with a lot of money and...

don't you think so? Oh,what a man...

- Haven't we met before? - No no no...

I don't care. Introduce him to me, darling.

Or perhaps, I�m not young enough to be wasting my time.

This is Kong, my darling.

You're very hard. And that weird arm?

Good evening,ma'am.

- What do you want with me? - Maybe you remember me.

You came to my office a few days ago. To fix my computer.

It hasn't been easy finding you.

You move very quickly, like a professional ballerina.

Let's watch you escape now.

After all, you�re a woman.

Goddamn it, these feminists are unbelievable.

This seems more like a play. And we're the ones being played.

Guys...

I'm out of bullets.

Watch out, boss, it could be a trick.

Take it easy, Flannigan, I know women.

She's telling the truth.

It was nice knowing you. I'll be going now.

Now why did you do that? What is the statement?

INVITATION TO GALAXY FASHION SHOW

MADRID. PALACE OF MONCLOA. 11 A.M.

LONDON. OFFICE OF MRS THATCHER. 6:30 P.M.

MOSCOW THE KREMLIN 5:35 A.M.

Oh my god, I�m going crazy.

Very important people are coming and everything is only half finished.

Don't worry, the fashion show will be great, Marquesa.

The rock group isn't here yet.

Maria Carmen and her puppets aren't here either.

I should've hire Placido Domingo. He's much more dependable.

It's still very early, don't be so impatient, Marquesa.

The Stavros widow was supposed to help me.

After all, she�s the one who got me into this mess.

- Marcello, Marcello... - Darling, this is crazy...

But, there�s no business like show business.

I hope I'm still alive when this show is over.

We'll both survive it together. Alive, rich and famous.

Everyone else will be dying from envy.

Who is this dead rat here?

Your suit is out of style, but the tie looks very nice.

Wait. A poor person.

Here, take it all.

If he's poor, there must be a reason.

Of course. Of course, simpleton.

Just as you see him, he's a beast in bed.

Wait a minute, Marcello. Do you know where Sam is?

No. I don't know anything.

But I'm getting sick of playing the Pink Panther.

Well, I�ll warn you...

- Anybody in there? - Yes, you retard.

And there's no room for anyone else.

Another poor bastard looking for a castle of his own.

Well, what were you saying?

You were lucky the experiments didn't really affect you.

Of course, but I took 3 shots of hormones.

Look how much sexual strength I have, I�m a bull.

And speaking of bulls...

A real one just entered the scene.

Good luck, beautiful.

Where did you get those earrings?

They're mine, I think.

Hey,Hercules...

My good friend, strong like Hercules.

- You'll be the rave of the party. - I haven't had the pleasure.

You haven't and you never will. I saw him first.

- Are you going to be in our show? - I think so,ma'am.

Of course you are, you'll be the hit of the show.

Come on, flex your muscles so the lady can see. Do it!

Oh good god!

- So what do you think Marquesa? - He's so... so...

I tell you.. I tell you, he's the supermodel of the show.

Everything he has is tight, but stretched.

This is my best idea since I created FBI protective underwear.

My agent will hear about this. He'll hear from me.

- Who would listen to you? You're just a dead rat. - Oh!

Say something. Don't just stand there like a statue.

Mr. Minister, good afternoon. How is everything?

Mr. Karanovich,I'm sorry your boss is sick with the flu.

It's all right,ma'am. All right.

- Oh,Edgar Tofield,someday I'll visit you in Berlin. - Yes.

- And who are you? - I'm with the gentleman.

Secret Service, we must be discreet.

We'll make ourselves invisible.

Excuse me.

Please, Mari Pepi, where are your manners?

Oh,come on.

- Why did we stop here? - I'm sorry, Major, this is the end.

How did you communicate with her?

All I did was go to the public bathroom,

and used my cellular phone from my purse.

- Would you like to call your mother? - You're Mantis, right?

Bingo! Shoot him!

That bastard! He escaped.

Now we must hurry to the fat lady's party.

Hey! Stop! Please, stop! please.

Why are you in the middle of the road?

- What's wrong with you, friend? - I'm in big trouble.

Calm down, or you'll die from a heart attack.

Come on, let�s go. He looks like a cop.

Hey guy's, I'll give you $20 if you take me to this address,

and give me one of your Punk outfits.

Wow! What a coincidence.

We're supposed to play at this fat lady's party.

Then let's go. Hurry up. Remember, rockers rule.

- Get in. Let's go. - Watch your head.

Come on, wake up. Your public are calling you.

I hope you act like a gentleman.

Your invitation,ma'am?

I'm the widow Stavros, the promoter of this party.

Jacqueline darling.. you're finally here.

Can I see my show?

Darling, we almost had to start without you.

How about the guests?

Excellent. Many people. The cr�me de la cr�me.

- And you.. - Yes, ma'am?

If a well built man, with a mustache, and in a maroon suit,

named Sam Stevenson arrives, advise me at once.

- At your orders,ma'am. - Let's go inside, darling.

- Monsieur la moustache. - Are you talking to me?

- Yes - Excuse me...

At your service, Scarlet Pimpernel.

- Your father! - Watch your mouth!

Here is your speech. Make it good.

Don't worry, my speech will be very good.

Ok,go do your job.

Ruiz Mateos' Harvest, February 23rd You fascist!...

- Enjoy it. - To your health.

Attention, everyone.

We are going to start. Remember, each group must follow its order.

Hey, play the piped music.

One moment please, one moment ladies and gentlemen,

I'd like to ask for your attention,

while I introduce to you, the woman who made all this shit possible...

sorry, I mean...

who made this a reality.

I'm talking about a woman who is altruistic and philanthragical.

- Is our turn now? - Not yet, I'll let you know,

don't be annoying, I wonder if you're so passionate for everything!

How exciting, my dear.

Jacqueline Genet Stavros.

- I've been waiting for you for years - You? Waiting for me?

You're the woman of my life.

Rude, brute, you're gonna hurt me with that coffee grinder.

Behave yourself, what will the oriental civilization think?

And finally, the great creator, the genius.

the fashion magician. Narisa Tashi.

- Go fly a kite! - Yes he's a nuisance in our lives.

Hey, a buddy. Wait, I'm going to get a drink for you. Wait, wait...

Darling, I�m crazy for you. Crazy...

Now, let your imagination fly...

Here begins Galaxy fashion.

First, the model "Nebula"

Step forward. Now, the model "Galactic"

Samurai! Samurai star in a green tone.

And now, an amazing model of the first kind, "Sublimation",

and now "Universe",

Samurai,

Fantasy...

And now, ladies and gentleman, for all of you: "milky way"

And to close, the most important model a real jewel braided with 24 carat gold...

"Buddhist Dream"

And now to close the show, we present some son of a whor...

Excuse me.

Son of Some Old Rockers... Kamikaze Warriors

And now, how about a big applause for all of them!

What do I do?

Just improvise,and enjoy the audience.

Allyson you�re in danger.. Allyson, I�m your friend so listen.

You're wearing something that could be explosive..

- I know that rocker. - Which one?

The beefy one, my dear. The beefy one.

Allyson you�re in danger.. Allyson, I�m your friend so listen.

Sam! Sam Stevenson!

I thought I was done with him! That son of a bitch!

Come here. Pay attention to me. Or leave

Come on. Hurry up.

Don't anybody panic.

Come on, do your performance.

Nothing here. Nothing here.

What's going on, Sam?

You're in danger, you�re wearing some kind of bomb.

We've been looking for it.

Where could it be? We haven't found anything.

Allyson Kelly...

- I've got to go out there. - Allyson Kelly.

Take your dress off first.

I can't. I've got to go out there first.

Allyson Kelly... Miss Congeniality.

- Son of a bitch! - She has a very beautiful body.

There's nothing here. I must talk to Allyson.

She'll be back in a second.

If that guy hits you with his arm, you'll be hurt for life.

Go upstairs and hide in the bedroom.

First door on the left.

Where is he? Where's he hiding?

- Who? - Sam... Sam Stevenson.

All men are the same...

First you were hitting on me, now it's someone else.

You're like all the rest.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's snowing out there.

Merry Christmas.

I'm going to take a piss.

I forgive you, now leave.

And now, we present the new models.. I mean.. sexy.

She'll grab everyone's attention with the way she moves her body.

- It's me, Sam - Sam!

Yes, your clown.

- Your earrings.. - What?

- Haven't you noticed those two religious earrings? - What?

Take them off at once. We have very little time.

I've been so stupid. What should I do?

Give them to me.

What are you doing here? Go upstairs and wait.

Marcello... It's me. Sam, Sam Stevenson.

You go through costumes like no one else.

First you were a rocker, now you're a clown.

Very good, you�re an authentic con-man.

Are you the same clown? Or is your brother upstairs?

Sam Stevenson always works alone.

Are you Sam Stevenson, The Steel Angel?

Yes, you stupid giant. Fight me again. The Steel Angel.

- Any time! - Now, beautiful!

Don't worry. Sam can defend himself.

Our lady, the Marquesa, has gone all out.

She's even giving us wrestling.

Poor clown... he'll be destroyed.

Where are you going, Jacqueline?

I'm going out for fresh air. I deplore watching violence.

You know I'm a member of the Humane Society.

Blood! I want blood!

Damn that fat woman. Even if she were Count Dracula.

The show's over,dollface. You and I are leaving.

What's a woman like you doing in a show like this?

It's not my fault you're involved in this.

You are Mantis, right? I won't let you take Allyson.

Just a minute!

Control yourself while your friend and I leave.

Come on... you and I are going on a trip. Walk!

I like the clown. He knows how to defend himself.

Here... eat the explosives.

See how this all ends? Incredible.

I knew our relationship was impossible, you beast.

Where's Allyson? Where is she?

Somebody saw her get in a taxi with the widow of Stavros.

Jacqueline Genet took her. Jacqueline is Mantis.

Oh.. Who would have thought that?

She's nice looking girl, and she's my girlfriend.

Where could she be?

Don't worry, Major. We'll soon locate that taxi.

Our Agent 00326X,who was disguised as butler of the house.

He put a Japanese tracking device in every car here today.

You'll be able to get your girlfriend back.

Thank you,Mr Alfa

You're my hero, at the end of the show I'm left owing thanks.

It's nothing,son,get the helicopter and, collect the treasure.

Attention! Evacuation of Matriarka.

I'm heading to hideout, 37

Once there, I�ll destroy all the evidence.

I'll be there in exactly 30 minutes.

I'm requesting a helicopter.

Message recieved,Mantis. Helicopter will be dispatched. Out.

You did very good.

But now we're going to rape you. First the black guy. Then me.

- No. You have no right. - Hold on a minute.

Here it is, article 29 of international rules of seizure.

If I want to, I can violate the enemy.

as long as it doesn't get out of hand.

Get ready girl, to taste some American meat.

Goddamn it, I�ve lost the taxi.

The story is about to end, and I won't get any.

This is Mantis. Mantis calling Station 13.

Listen, I can't reach Matriarka

Send a car for protection to Devil's Plains

Contact the submarine.

In five hours, I�ll be at the meeting place.

Once my orders have been dispatched, then make your escape.

There's the taxi. I found it, I found it.

I hope it's the right taxi.

Get out of the car, Miss Pussy.

Silence!

Idiot! You're willing to die to save a world of disgusting men.

I know our world isn't perfect.

But it's nothing to do with sex, it's a philosophical thing.

A magnificent speech, but it's useless.

The formula is still in my power.

There's my helicopter.

My resurrection, your death, little cabbage doll.

It's a happy day for death.

Come on! Earn your paychecks! Fight! Long live Matriarka!

Everybody here, they're like mushrooms.

Whenever we hit one, two more appear.

Why should that surprise you?

Haven't you seen a Sean Connery movie? Shut up and keep shooting!

Come on, they can't escape.

Damn them!

Allyson!

Do you see what we did just to save you!

We're lucky everything turned out well.

Thank you, Marcello. Thank you.

Darling...

Don't say anything, just kiss me.

Kiss me again.

The movie is over now.

We can go fishing on the beach I told you about.

I'll be a good partner, I have a fishing license too.

And I have a license to kiss.

And I have a license to love.

And I have a license to fall in love.

And me? A marriage license.

I have a license to stay single.

Well then, I have a license for your aunt to go fishing with you.

And I have a license to smash your face.

Oh yeah? I have one, I'll tell you when we get there.

New York. While the muscleman sleeps ambition rests.

To all citizens...

Pull the hair out of your head. Mantis is indestructible.

WATCH FOR THE NEXT FEATURE:

MANTIS COUNTER-ATTACKS

THE RETURN OF Matriarka IN 3-D

The 4TH WAR WITH MANTIS

MANTIS 5 VS ROCKY 23

SPY HOWEVER POSSIBLE

Translation by George Patino and Thomas Weisser

For VSoM

Subs improved and expanded by

McDuck, Cochino,Spinal and tomastang