Original subtitles

_

_

_

_

Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

Turn the music down, sir.

Hey...

cut the music.

Sorry.

You know why I pulled you over?

Well, obviously you felt the need to

exercise your limited powers, punish me for ignoring the speed limit.

It's okay, I understand.

It's... I... I like to punish people too.

Or, at least I used to.

License and registration.

Coming right up.

Are you trying to bribe me, sir?

Yes, of course.

Is that not enough?

Well, take more. It's only money.

It's against the law... sir.

You people are funny about your laws, aren't you?

You break the laws sometimes, don't you?

Sometimes.

Put my siren on and drive really fast...

with no reason at all.

Just 'cause I can.

Right! And why wouldn't you? It's fun!

Feels good to get away with something, doesn't it?

Yeah.

- Uh... - It's okay, Officer.

People like to tell me things.

Those deep, dark, naughty, little desires that are on their minds.

It's a gift.

Must be something about this face.

You're tempted to keep that, aren't you?

Well, what are you waiting for, permission? Go on, take it.

Buy yourself something pretty. You deserve it.

If you don't mind, I really must be on my way.

Oh. Yeah, of course.

- Hey, have a nice evening. - Yeah.

You too, Officer.

You too.

Transcribed by the Addic7ed Team - www.addic7ed.com -

Hey, Boss.

Where have you been?

Oh, holed up with a chateau,

copulating with a young woman named Faith.

It's ironic, isn't it?

Thank you, Patrick.

You can go.

You little devil.

What? I dropped something?

Well, I'm sure you did.

- Now, Lucifer. I am a big fan of sex. - Obviously

But I didn't leave hell to be a bartender.

Shouldn't you be spending your valuable time

doing something more "significant"?

You're the lord of hell for crying out loud.

I'm retired, Maze. I've got nothing but time.

Thank you.

I think you have a visitor.

Oh, Amenadiel,

how's it hanging big guy? Huh?

Your return to the underworld has been requested.

Oh, right. Okay.

Let me just, uh... check my calendar.

Yeah, here it is. Uh... the "7th of never"

through to the "15th of ain't gonna happen".

How's that worth to you guys?

Ah, look...

remind Dad that I quit hell because I'm sick and tired

of playing a part in His play.

I'm gonna warn you against disrespecting our father, Lucifer.

Yeah, well, our father's been disrespecting me

since the beginning of time, so pot-kettle, don't you think?

You... are a mockery of everything divine.

Thank you!

Thank you, but...

lately, I've been doing a fair amount of thinking.

Now, do you think that I'm the devil because I'm inherently evil

or just because dear old Dad decided I was?

What exactly do you think happens when the devil leaves hell?

All of those demons...

all of those tormented and tortured souls...

where do you think they go?

Don't know.

Don't care. Not my problem, brother.

So consider the position officially open.

And you, my feathered friend, can go to hell.

Yeah, try it.

You think Father's upset now.

You know...

he will not be merciful for much longer.

Hey, you.

Remember me?

- Wait, you're famous, aren't you? - Delilah!

- Delilah isn't it? - I love you, Delilah!

Can I have your autograph?

If I can have a drink.

So, are you gonna tell me why you really came back?

There's something I need to know.

What's that?

Did I...

sell my soul to the devil?

Well, that would imply the devil's actually interested in your soul.

Look... all I did...

was introduce you to a few key people who owed me favors. That's all.

I mean with all the good came a hell of a lot of bad...

Oh, right. So the devil made you do it, did he?

The alcohol and the drugs, the topless selfies.

The choices are on you, my dear.

I mean... Jimmy Barnes?

I can't believe you almost married that sweaty little imp.

He produced my album, you introduced me to him.

I suggested you work with him, not sleep with him.

- Well, I got confused. - Then you left him at the altar.

Yeah, that was rude of me.

No, actually, I quite enjoyed that bit.

You know, he trapped me in the bathroom in the Grammys.

Said he wanted to get back together.

Then I hear he's marrying a supermodel. This weekend.

And I'm jealous.

Oh, God, I'm a mess.

God had nothing to do with your mess.

Look, you didn't sell your soul, Delilah.

You're doing me a favor.

- I'm scared. - You should be.

Because what I'm about to ask is gonna be quite difficult for you.

Pull yourself together.

That's it. That's all I'm asking.

You're wasting your talent, your life.

Hmm?

You're only human, darling.

I'm gonna do as you asked.

I'm gonna get it together.

- Promise, Lucifer. - Look...

it's not about me.

What happens now, that's up to you.

- Okay? - Yeah.

Come here, you.

Oh, no, no, no. Not yet.

What did you do?

I'm sorry.

Sorry? Why did you end her life?

Why else?

Money.

Money?

Oh, it's times like this I wish I was still in hell.

All the fun activities that I've planned for you.

Hey, man, I just pulled the trigger.

_

Would you like to hear what I got so far?

Lieutenant said this is my case.

Yes, Chloe, it's your case.

Don't waste your time.

It's an easy one.

That's our bad guy. Eddy Deacon.

He's a low-level drug dealer.

We found these in his pocket...

and this in Delilah's purse.

So... it's obviously drug related.

She probably owed him a bunch of money or something.

She's not exactly selling out stadiums these days.

And... how do you know he's low-level?

Look at his car.

Did you look at his watch? That thing ain't cheap.

It's probably fake.

There's gonna be a lot of attention on this one, Chloe.

I wouldn't pick too hard at it.

Not after Palmetto Street.

I asked for this case because of Palmetto Street, Dan.

So, anyway, any witnesses?

Lucifer Morningstar.

Lucifer Morningstar... is that a...

a stage name or something?

God-given, I'm afraid.

D'you know... you look familiar. Have we met before?

Yeah, 5 minutes ago. And I'm asking the questions.

Talk to me about your relationship with the victim.

Well, she used to work here. A few years back.

I would occasionally accompany her while she sang.

Then she became a big star and someone decided to end her life.

- Did you know the shooter? - No.

But we did have an interesting little chat just before he kicked off.

I asked him why he did it.

Hmm. Like to play cop, do ya?

No, I just like to play in general, Detective.

What about you?

So, you had a conversation with the dead guy.

Oh, no, he wasn't quite dead. His soul hadn't crossed the threshold.

I see.

Did he tell you why he did it?

Why money, of course.

You humans, you love your money, don't you?

Yes. Yes, we do.

And, uh, what planet are you from? London?

Yes he also said, "I just pulled the trigger",

now don't you think that's interesting.

Delilah was shot to death by a drug dealer.

And looks like Delilah herself kept the guy pretty busy.

You know, it's sad, it's ugly, but it's not rocket science.

Something probably went south between them,

she gets riddled with bullets and a nice little act of God takes him out.

You know, it doesn't work like that, Detective.

It's quite a neatly wrapped little present for the LAPD, don't you think?

Why don't you tell me something?

How did she end up dying in a hailstorm of bullets

and you get away without a scratch?

I think that's interesting, don't you?

- The benefits of immortality. - Immortality?

Mm. Of course. Uh... you spell that with 1 or 2 "m"s?

I always forget.

What will your corrupt little organization do about this?

'Scuse me?

Will you find the person responsible, will they be punished,

will this be a priority for you? Because it is for me.

You got some balls on you, pal.

Oh, thank you very much, but they're really quite average.

- Yeah, I bet. - Now...

Are you sure that we haven't met?

I could swear I've seen you naked. Have we had sex?

- We're done here. - Ah, Detective, wait.

Someone out there needs to be punished. We're not done.

Yeah. Yeah, we are.

If there is anyone here that would oppose this holy union,

speak now or forever hold your peace.

'Scuse me. Yeah, I have a problem.

Has... has anyone else noticed

how incredibly, jaw-droppingly,

loin-stirringly beautiful this young woman is

and how short, sweaty and altogether fugly this homunculus is?

I mean what is this, a wedding or a kidnapping?

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Good luck with that, Padre. Ooh...

while you're at it, say hey from me, it's been a while.

Jimmy Barnes, remember me?

Hey, man. This is a private event. How did you get in here?

Yeah and