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Giovanni, my son...

Here, take my savings book.

What? Your savings?

- You might need it. - Why?

- I know you have some problems. - How did you find out?

You are such a spendthrift.

Well, we spend more than we earn. I'm in debt...

Silvia doesn't know whereas I don't know where to turn.

- Hello, Gardinazzi ! - Hello.

What are you doing, Giovanni?

Sleeping? Wake up!

Hi, Alberti!

Hello, Rudi.

Fofo, can you lend me 3 million lire?

I'll pay you back in 3 months.

Who has such money?

OK, forget it.

Gotcha! Tell the truth, you believed it?

As if I didn't know you.

You make fun of me? You, fool!

You don't have 3 million?

Are you going to pawn your watch? Little clown!

I would never refuse to lend money to a friend. Never!

Mind you, I would even steal for a friend.

Then please lend me the money, I really need it.

Come off it!

Tell me another.

Cuckold.

LA FIDES, LOANS COMPANY

- Is the Manager in? - He's there.

- How much did they lend you? - 20 000 lire.

What should I do? I'm going to be evicted.

Please come in, Mr. Alberti.

Please.

Thank you.

Good morning, Mr. Turano.

A cigarette?

Thanks.

Mr. Turano, could you

extend the deadline by one month?

Fine, thanks all the same.

You're welcome.

But why? I'm only asking for 30 days.

A serious company cannot accept any delay.

You've already been privileged.

We didn't even demand a personal guarantee. Goodbye.

There's nothing to fear.

I have mortgaged my house, my furniture, even the toilet.

Calm down.

We gave you a loan that even a Minister wouldn't get.

A Minister would get twice as much. Come on!

Our business is none of your concern.

Gabbi!

Mr. Turano, one month passes quickly.

Today's Monday. You turn around and it is Sunday.

One month is nothing.

- Next. - Yes.

I must not appear in the register of debtors.

My father-in-law is a General and my brother-in-law is

a captain. - Then pay!

Sure I will, I told you on the phone.

Without a proper job, I'll never clear my debts.

My situation is going to change completely.

You know how much one earns in the building industry? 50%.

And I know all the tricks.

All I need is a little money, but I'll find it.

Look at me. You take me for an idiot?

You think our clients are all idiots?

We have managers, professors,

whores, industrialists, thieves, a poet,

even two priests and you.

We have to treat them all equally.

Gabbi, show the gentleman out.

No, we're not treated equally.

I work! I never thought of getting rich as an usurer.

How dare you make such insinuations against me?

You spend more than you can earn.

Get on a bicycle instead of in a car. Smoke the Italians

Let your wife do the dishes, and there will be no debts.

Do it yourself! Or your wife!

Because my wife is a lady. A true lady!

- Hey all. - It was you?

My umbrella got stuck in a cleft.

- Are you hurt? - No.

Always joking... Why are you late?

I was busy.

You didn't miss anything.

Hi, Cinzia.

Faravalli! Dronazzi! Gardinazzi!

Hello, Giovanni.

- Have you seen daddy? - My father?

Your father comes here? My father, of course.

Look, he's there.

Good morning, General. I'm over here!

Riccardo is also there. Riccardo!

- Hey, uncle. - Hey, sweetie.

- This guy is a god in the saddle. - Who is he?

Are you OK? Nervous?

I told you.

Every time the same.

- You carry an umbrella. - Always.

You are so wise.

Here we go - it's raining.

Why are we staying here? Let's go.

Call Riccardo. Riccardo!

Silvia!

- See you. - Bye bye.

How's it going? I pray for you.

Thank you. Bye.

See you later, dad.

Always on form.

He looks like a kid playing the soldier.

Bye, see you tonight.

Silvia, come under my umbrella.

Riccardo, my brother-in-law. I've been looking for you.

I have a job for you.

Why bother making other people rich

when I have you?

Nah, not my cup of tea. I never believed in such things.

And the boom economy?

All in all, you agree?

Baratti and Faravalli have earned 500 million lire each.

- If you say it's little... - What do I have to do with it?

I have a big offer for you.

If you want... If not, I'll do it myself.

- So? - Well...

- Is that a 'yes' or 'no' ? - Yes and no.

You must tell me honestly what are you getting at?

You are always suspicious.

- Stop it! - I'm just kidding.

You don't understand such things.

Lend me 3 million lire and I will carry it out myself.

I give you 10%. 20%!

- What? You want to swindle a relative? - What are you saying?

You're begging for money, writing bad checks...

- Who told you that? - The whole of Rome.

But Silvia doesn't know. Riccardo...

Don't say anything to your sister, it will be a disaster.

I will solve it myself. Don't worry.

Me? I couldn't care less!

Riccardo, don't go.

Please, don't say anything.

One night a woman wakes up and notices a bald head besides her.

Be quiet.

She says : ''It's not my husband.''

I know that one! It's vulgar!

Yes, so vulgar.

- Go on... - Wait.

Giovanni, don't.

Isn't she lovely?

Ok, I give up.

Giovanni, we don't work together anymore, do we?

If Silvia doesn't feel like it.

He never tells you jokes?

- Never. - He keeps them to himself.

Come on, Giovanni !

Let's hear it.

Amuse me.

It's not me. They want to hear it, Silvia.

So, the woman wakes up and notices a bald head.

''It's not my husband."

''My husband is rather hairy."

''I will start to scream.''

But she's a thoughtful woman

and before she starts screaming, she decides to take a look.

''Is this him or not?"

"Is this him or not?"

''Him or not him?"

''Phew, it's not him!''

- Did you just touch my leg? - No, you fool.

I thought...

So you liked the joke ?

You didn't get it because you weren't listening.

Don't you get it? It is not her husband.

My turn to tell one. It takes place in Mexico.

Three friends, Pablo, Luis and Giaco meet each other.

They decide to play a game. Pablo suggests golf.

''What's that?''

''To play golf you need a club, a ball and a hole."

''I will be the club.''

''OK'', Luis says.

''I will be the ball.'' The third says: ''I won't play.''

Enough with jokes. Where are we going tonight?

- To Samovar. - Great.

- Where are we going, Silvia ? - You decide.

Mr, the bill.

Bausetti!

Bausetti?

Dronazzi, who's this?

Bausetti. You know how many billions he has?

- Try to guess. - 100?

300. Thanks to Acquacetosa, ltalcementi, La Fides...

La Fides?

Mr. and Mrs. Bausetti.

You look younger every day.

This is Giovanni. Giovanni Alberti.

Pleased to meet you.

- My respects, madam. - Good evening.

A little flower.

A little flower.

A little flower, madame.

Here, keep the change.

Please.

- You are so kind. - You're welcome.

- Goodnight, sir. - See you.

Sweetheart...

Hi, Giovanni.

- Having fun? - Yes.

Shall we go see the faggots?

Ok, let's go.

That silly girl is full of surprises.

What's wrong, Giovanni?

You're a monster - you can't stop thinking about Silvia.

Don�t exaggerate now.

Fancy a little ride with me?

Cutie!

Would you like to keep me company?

- I was thinking... - One feels better here.

That�s true. The reason is the Pope.

Peace! Peace! Help each other, help.

I'd like to talk with you. Where will you be tomorrow?

I�ll be on the construction site until 11am. Then in the office.

I haven't told anyone about this.

It came up like a joke but it could grow into something amazing.

A stretch of land near Camilluccia. 1,000 lire / m2.

It might be worth 20 000 lire overnight. I'll tell you how.

We offer 3 hectares to Saint Maurizio monks.

They build a convent and a hospice.

Then The City will supply the water, electricity, roads...

All of a sudden, the price goes up!

- It's a great opportunity. - Marvellous.

I won't take part.

It's the best investment of the year!

I'm not interested.

I will write you a regular 4-months bill of exchange

out of the whole sum.

Why don't you go ask Baratti? You've been working together for years.

Never mind. I really hoped you would accept

because I know you are... a damn bastard.

Time to go beddy-beds.

No, let's go and look at Rome from the Gianicolo Hill.

Are we going to dance the twist?

- So? - Let's do the twist.

- Is your headache gone? - Completely.

Are you coming to Castiglioncello this summer?

No, I prefer Fregene.

It's full of faggots there.

They are everywhere.

- You are going to play now? - Yes.

Cinzia, we are ready.

Please, excuse me.

Here we are.

- You are playing too? - Yes.

I will throw you all out at 2am.

I have to be on the construction site at 8am.

Do you have a minute?

- Turn off the gramophone, will you? - Sure.

Leave it on, just lower the volume.

Low, low...

Come.

What cards you gave me! You could've dealt a better hand.

- A Boom ? - What�s that?

- A cocktail in fashion. - OK, honey.

A gin, please.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Finally, I got rid of that crowd of women.

Why don't we have tea tomorrow?

I can't. I have to go to the hairdresser's.

- Say something, Giovanni. - What?

Pour yourself a whisky.

No thanks. Do you want some?

Thanks, no ice.

How long have we known each other?

Four years now.

Why don't you come to Castiglioncello this summer?

We have two extra rooms.

Why not? Thank you.

I�ve been working 4 years

for you and your company.

Four years of collaboration

which is not based on work only but

also friendship.

However, I've never asked you a favour.

Unfortunately, the cost of living and needs

are such that I found myself

in some debts

I must face with great urgency.

Who can I turn to for help if not a friend?

Our friendship is based on mutual respect.

You hold me in high esteem, yes?

Of course.

Our wives,

Silvia and Cinzia, are also good friends.

Silvia feels she is on the same level as your wife,

except that you are filthy rich whereas I'm without a penny.

Silvia means a lot to me so I can't tell her

to give up Christmas holidays in Cortina and stay home

playing tombola with relatives

or "You can�t buy new clothes". I simply can't.

Unfortunately, our wives are those kinds of women

who are used to living

in luxury.

So, how can I tell her:

''Enough. It's over. We can't go on like this."

She wouldn't understand.

So I'm forced to

ask a friend for help, telling him:

''My friend...''

I don't have the king.

''My friend...''

I would've played it then. It's obvious.

Giovanni, don't drink.

The tailor told me you hadn't paid her yet?

As for big money you have to put it off. Everyone does.

The more you delay, the less you pay.

Then the inflation... How much did a steak cost last year?

I have no idea.

Everything's going up: oil, butter, grapefruits...

Grapefruits? You're right.

The doctor told me they are more healthy than oranges.

Sure.

I'm sleepy.

What a night! The twist really kills you.

Turn around.

You're so beautiful!

You know it's almost 4am?

Why do you put on these creams?

Your skin drives me crazy.

Aren't you ashamed of being so beautiful?

Be serious. Have you reserved that house in Fregene?

Yes.

You must reserve it before others do.

Don�t worry.

If you lend me your car, I'll go to Fregene tomorrow.

Oh, Jesus, If only I hadn't offended you...

Oh, good Jesus...

I won't offend you anymore.

With Jesus' blood, I hope to save my soul.

What the hell am I saying?

I'm selling my car tomorrow. I've found a buyer.

Are you?

Yes, I decided to buy a faster one.

With 8-cylinders. What do you say?

Meanwhile, you will walk?

Don't be silly. I'll go by taxi.

What will others say when they see you in taxi?

Why should I care? You'll see my new racing car.

You will have a Fiat 500. All yours. OK?

Thanks. Sure I will need it.

Good night, Giovanni.

Don�t touch me with your feet tonight.

They're always cold.

Silvia...

Do you really love me?

What a question! Of course I do.

But how much? A lot? Like the Indian women ?

Why? What they do?

They never leave their husbands.

In bad or good times.

When the husband dies, they burn themselves as well.

And their children? Who takes care of them?

Someone must stay with them.

If I tell you:

''Let's change this life."

''Let's move south."

''To Catanzaro"?

I must go to sleep now or I won't get a wink later on.

But why Catanzaro?

The South, it's less expensive.

But we're all fine here.

The South...

Sure...

Be kind, Giovanni, I'm all washed out.

What's wrong with you tonight?

Nothing.

220 500 lire.

How can I settle it?

- What happened? - A 5-metres fall.

They don't give any protection, these bastards?

ENTREPRlSE BAUSETTl

Excuse me. Good morning, sir.

Who�s this?

The church should be moved farther to the left.

Do it now!

I understand, Mr. Bausetti.

Excuse me.

It will break in 2 years.

But it costs less now.

At least paint it green. White is sad.

Like a hospital.

Come in.

You work for Baratti?

Yes, I do. We met last night. Don't you remember?

Baratti is expanding.

Expanding?

That's true.

But I came here on my behalf.

Then?

Well... There's a plot of land near Camilluccia.

1 000 lire / m2, an incredible price.

30km from Rome.

Exactly.

You know that place?

I put an option on it a year ago.

Let me offer you a project.

There's nothing to build there. There are no roads, water...

Exactly. Here's the idea.

It's 20 hectares of land. We...

I said "we"

as if... - Go on.

We will offer 2ha to Saint Maurizio monks.

Why?

To build a new convent with guestrooms.

I've discussed it with the supervisor, my father-in-law's friend.

The City supplies the water, roads, plumbing...

and the price goes up 100%!

Enough! Goodbye!

With such ideas,

you want to earn in a year what we did in 50.

I've been working hard for 50 years.

I started when I was 20. Just imagine!

You'll lose your heads with this boom.

One should start at the ground...

I know. You are a god.

I'll treasure your advice.

But you can help me. I have a deadline at La Fides.

What's that got to do with me? Never heard of La Fides!

Carlo!

What's wrong?

He says I have some connections with La Fides.

They say.

Sorry.

Nothing but lies!

What do you want, Mr...?

Alberti, ma�am. We met last night.

Ah, yes. I remember. You gave me a flower.

Yes, I remember.

He got angry because I asked him

to intervene in La Fides' affairs.

I have a deadline.

Excuse me.

If I gave just 10 lire to everyone who asks money from me,

I'd turn into a beggar!

I'm Bausetti, not La Fides.

I'm not interested in them.

Bring me those other bidets. Tell that idiot of Nardelli.

Wait.

What do you think about this bidet?

Awful. My husband has right.

They come with more modern lines.

My husband has right. People keep on asking for help.

I didn't ask for money, just a delay at La Fides.

Don't even mention La Fides. My husband has absolutely

nothing to do with them.

Then I'm ruined.

Don't give in, Mr...

Alberti. Giovanni Alberti.

There's a way out.

Thank you, madam.

We could talk about it. What are you doing today?

What are you doing today?

Nothing special.

Then come over.

- Where? - To my house.

I will be alone.

118, Archimedes Street. At 4pm, OK?

As if in a dream. I will be there.

At 4pm.

So, we agree on that. With chromatic faucets.

You heard my wife?

Sure, Dolfi bidets are more elegant and modern.

Must be appealing above all.

- So put on the Dolfi's. - Yes.

You heard her? The Dolfi's.

Please her.

My respects.

We can assure you that our representative G. Alberti

will repay his debts before or no later than tomorrow.

Thank you and Yours faithfully...

Trim the nose hairs, too... And from the ears.

Have you finished?

Come on, hurry up.

My wife?

Hey, sweetheart.

You wanted to surprise me? How's Carletto?

What's wrong?

What's with your voice?

Tell me.

Tell me something sweet.

Everything is going well for your husband and you don't care?

I can't. I've got important business to do at 4pm.

Where were you born?

In Rome, madam.

- My husband is from Recanati. - Cigli's hometown.

And Leopardi's.

You're right.

He bawls and bawls, but he's a kind soul.

The light bothers you?

You haven't told anyone you were coming here?

No one.

Would you like something to drink? A little coffee?

Yes, thanks.

You are healthy, it's evident. You have never been sick?

Never, madam.

I have grown very fond of you.

You are a good, honest person.

I don't want to waste your time.

I'll get straight to the point. Why should I...?

Two cups of coffee, Piero.

...beat around the bush ? You must appreciate my frankness

which is a proof of my respect.

Of course.

But all this must remain between us.

I don't know you. Never seen you.

All right?

All right.

I advise you not to say anything to your wife.

Or anyone else.

Don't worry.

What I'm about to ask might surprise you, I know.

You...

Would you sell an eye?

My god, don't get upset now. You can reply whatever you like.

Of course you can.

Excuse me...

Sir...

We are here like good and intimate friends.

I didn't say you have to sell your eye at any cost,

we no longer live in the time of slavery.

I hope I didn't offend you?

Really?

Clearly, I made a mistake. Please, forgive me.

Try to understand,

I said to myself: "Who knows? This gentleman might agree."

The money isn't a problem. Thanks to God,

the business is going well. Our minds are at ease.

In the 30's, we were in debt as well.

Then you lose sleep.

Lay it here.

Thanks.

How many lumps?

Four.

And don't think I haven't considered the pros and cons.

Damn it!

I properly assessed the situation.

If we had some kind of financial problems,

we would pick a better solution.

Some people offer them for free through the testament.

They are all saints! For free...

But my husband wouldn't hear of it. Now, it works even

with bull's eye.

- No way! - Yes.

With bull's cornea. You really think...? No, no.

Any kind of sacrifice allowed,

but only if it is someone we know very well or nothing happens.

30, 40 or 50 millions.

Be frank with me.

I really wish

you had full confidence in me.

We aren't doing this on a whim.

My husband has lot of responsibilities. In his work,

you need not two but three eyes.

What bad luck!

Last year, on a construction site, a squirt of lime...

A little squirt of lime...

Granny!

Hey, my darling.

Hey, darling. Granny will be right back.

Excuse us.

Naughty little devil. Come here!

Raimondo !

Who's this?

Sorry, mom. Sorry, Sir.

My son, mister...

- Giovanni Alberti. - Nice to meet you.

Let's go.

I have to go too.

- So? - What should I say?

Would you like to think it over? A day, two, three.

But not more than that, because we have our obligations.

Three months ago, we had a donor who went abroad.

In Belgium. We should try to find him.

Well, goodbye.

A little phone call?

These things can't be arranged legally.

We have a friend, a clinician. A true friend. A marvel.

- So will you call? - I don't know.

- How old is your son? - He's two.

The nicest period in life. Politically, you are ...?

I'm not interested in politics.

You're a wise man, Mr. Alberti!

The best one I've heard in a long time...

Would you like to sell an eye?

What an idiot...

Silvia!

What is it?

There, it�s not so bad, Silvia.

What happened here?

Don't be desperate. God will help you.

We know everything. You're up to your neck in debts.

These days even the policemen are in debt.

You're ruined!

Who said that?

Everyone knew it. Everyone, except us.

It's a crying shame. You're in the register of debtors.

They are going to seize our furniture.

Till last night, he lied to me. He was talking about inflation,

grapefruits.

I said nothing because I didn't want you to worry.

I hoped I could solve it before you...

And I will!

I love you, Silvia.

Yeah, sure.

Should we tell him everything, daddy ?

Yes.

You've mortgaged the flat. My flat!

We are broke. Not even a roof over our heads.

Prattle! Three years of prittle-prattle.

It's ridiculous.

And I married him because I believed in his bright future.

Do you understand? What a fool I am!

I warned you. You shouldn't have given him power of attorney.

I've been fooled.

''Give me POA. I will take care of everything.''

Idiot! Moron!

Silvia !

Please consider...

This situation is being discussed even at the Ministry.

Shame on you!

The South... He wanted to take me to Catanzaro.

Indian women...He had guts to play the witty man!

He's always joking!

If only you hadn't quit that job at the Ministry.

Little, yet safe money.

''One day, I will be ...'' You aren't a man of character.

Dad, we must take action.

Silvia, try to understand.

You never missed anything, you can't deny it.

We're going through difficult times, it's not the end! We will solve it!

What will you solve when you're useless?!

One of our friends will be able to help us.

Yeah, sure. You can rely on them!

Go ahead. You think I'm an idiot?

You think they're our friends because I tell jokes?

Know what? I'm going too! Then we can play children's games!

You've lost everything. Even your manners.

I'm leaving!

Do you know where I come from?

I don't give a damn. I just know that I'm going away.

- Then go! - Forever!

Wait till they take our home! And don't look for me!

Let's go, dad.

Hello? It's Alberti. I want to talk to my wife�

- She's sleeping. - Wake her up.

The General doesn't want to.

The General...

OK, I got it.

Hello? Is Mrs. Bausetti in?

It's Alberti. Giovanni Alberti.

- Please wait till I call her. - OK.

Hello, Alberti?

Madam, it's me.

A, E.

N, V, F, E down, E on the left.

T, L, C, F, O,

P, E upside down, E on the left,

E down, E on the right.

Fantastic!

You have an eagle eye.

One of the healthiest I've ever seen.

A serious man as well.

Sir, how about Monday?

Monday? This Monday?

What?

Sir!

The sooner, the better, right?

After that, we're going to eat out. We are almost like a family.

Saturday would suit me fine.

Then I could tell my wife that I have something important

to do, say, in Livorno. I must make up an excuse.

Indeed.

What do you advise me to do, Professor?

A little accident, a fall can cause eye congestion...

Actually, I thought a car accident.

You would smash your car?

A piece of glass...

You will tell them

you fell asleep... Hit a tree.

So there will be no witnesses. Are you insured?

What are you talking about?

The insurance companies check on everything.

So... Saturday 22nd.

- At 8am. - Saturday?

Maybe, Friday. Do not eat or drink much.

You too.

And Saturday morning, refrain from eating.

It's very important.

Otherwise, we'll have to postpone it which

inevitably leads to complications.

- Carlo! - What's wrong?

What are you doing? Stop acting like a kid!

Put that eye down!

What are you doing?

- It's nothing. - A little bit of Coramina, Rosetta.

Have I shocked you?

Carlo, darling... In a week,

you will be again my Carlo with two bright eyes.

What happened? I feel better now.

- Sorry. - Not at all! People make mistakes!

Annetta, come here.

You can go now. We'll leave you alone.

Sometimes, you're so childish.

But you're a good man. Take a seat.

Let's talk about our business.

Would you tell us the price?

1 billion lire.

- 50 million lire isn't much. - Better than nothing.

Be serious.

Until you decide on the price,

we won't look at you. We'll turn to the wall.

- What? - So?

We're talking about an eye here!

You see, personally,

I would never sell my leg.

When you have legs, you can go wherever you like.

If fire breaks out, you run.

I'm so afraid of fires.

I don't want to stay here and talk about this any more.

I've already made my decision, but let me consider...

Can I say something?

I'm not a man who regrets.

But when I think it over... I have a young and beautiful wife.

Your wife, if she truly cares about you...

this is a good moment to put her to the test.

But an eye is an eye!

If you look at a bottle,

that bottle there..

Come here.

Close an eye.

You just see half the bottle.

Besides, it's not the one on the right.

You must be kidding. Right or left, it's my eye.

You can drive a car with just one eye.

Well, without the left eye

you might have some difficulty at overtaking.

With the right one you can drive well.

Anyway, the less you overtake, the better.

How about 55 million, Mr. Alberti?

70. I need money. Or I may change my mind.

You're so haughty! All right, as you wish.

A 10% down payment, you agree?

No, it's not enough. 20%?

It's ok.

It's a proof of trust. You might disappear.

I'm kidding.

You're a true gentleman.

Cash-in-hand.

- Ok. - Cheques go around.

Anyway, we're doing this for your sake.

Selling body parts is illegal.

All or nothing.

Please write your name

on this little bill of exchange.

A pure formality.

You see... We must have evidence.

We'll give it back to you on Saturday.

Mom, I'm giving you back your savings book.

But I was doing you a favour.

I've had some financial problems,

like everybody else. I bought you something.

Guess what.

You're just spending money as always.

''Chippendale'' dining room suite. Are you happy?

And you?

I've been very fortunate. Things couldn't have gone better.

I made an excellent deal.

I've found an associate who can't manage without me.

He puts up the money and I... I just work.

- Is it true? - Yes.

My life has changed completely.

Your wife should kiss the ground you walk on.

You're so clever.

I have something to tell you.

- I'm getting divorced. - What?

She left and took the kid. I'm getting divorced.

She left?

Yes, back to her father.

They turned her against me, the General and that rascal

of a brother of hers telling everyone that I'm ruined.

They need to try harder. I've got an iron will, mom.

They never believed in me.

Now, I'm seeking revenge.

I've got a pile of millions this high.

But you must help me, mom.

Sure, my son.

You'll go see the general and tell him I want a divorce.

Before that, you must tell him I paid all my debts.

We all go through difficult times.

If only you'd seen... They treated me like dirt yesterday.

I'm madly in love, damn it!

I will go.

You see your daddy?

Look at him.

Silvia.

Giovanni...

How can I?

They are always in a hurry.

General...

Let's make peace.

Sure, but let's move from here first.

Giovanni, God helped you.

I know.

Do you know what your first duty is? Come with us tonight.

- Where? - Santa Domitilla.

Oh, Blessed Virgin

Pray for me...

Blessed Virgin, only you and I know how things really are.

Anyway, what can I do? I have an agreement.

You are the only one who can help me.

See for yourself, change their minds if you can.

Don't know... Kill them.

No, an illness then.

Do what you like. Scare them so that they give up.

Giovanni...

Oh, graceful Virgin...

Look at dad. He's so happy.

Dad is right. You must thank The Father.

You cannot always ask, you must give something back too.

Sure.

I'm so happy and you?

Me too.

Don't you feel like a new man?

More free, more calm?

Everything's ready.

Party!

The buffet is ready, this way.

Friends, help yourselves... There�s everything.

Delicious meat.

Crayfish, caviar...

- What a buffet. - This surely cost a lot.

Have you seen what's over there? Looks better.

Excuse me.

Don't you see there's plenty of it?

What about you?

Don't worry about me. I'll eat later.

This tastes like cod?

No, it's crayfish. Your dad lets you eat cod.

Enough now.

Let her stay, she has to learn...

Can you shut your mouth?

Stop getting at her! You make mistakes too.

If you'd lend him money, you'd be partners now.

I don't believe in changes of fortune.

I believe what I see. Get lost, you idiot...

The former rifleman of Volga falls on the caviar.

We used to eat a lot in Russia. No bread but caviar every day.

No vodka?

My friends, drink vodka!

Don't drink too much, Giovanni.

Don't worry.

Dad, mom!

Come here.

The Russians make propaganda about the vodka and the caviar.

What do they make of it? We're all socialists.

I'm not. I wish I was but I have money.

And you're stingy!

For mom and dad.

Anniversary or what?

No, it's not an anniversary.

You're having a baby?

Oh my goodness, no!

Just for the pleasure of having you all here.

We have something important to announce to you.

But be patient. Right, Giovanni ?

Wait a minute.

What a party! Are you enjoying yourselves?

It's wonderful, my dear son.

Who knows how much it is going to cost you.

Look!

Is everyone served ?

Cheers!

Everyone should drink. It's my night.

Have fun, drink.

Here, drink. And try to forget that fatso there.

To leave a chick like you alone

for a piece of turkey... You know what?

That makes me sick.

Your husband's laughing too. He agrees.

Ol�, bull! Having fun?

- A lot. - Good.

I'm sorry, but for you there's a buffet as you please.

Tonight, Silvia is all mine.

And you know what?

I've never liked that wife swapping game.

What are you saying?!

Do you know why? Because I always lose.

You're the most beautiful woman on Earth.

Giovanni, you said nothing about this? Is this the way you do things?

We've been working together for years.

What's this "Alberti & Co" ?

Who told you about it? It was you?

Yes, they made such a face!

They couldn't believe it so I had to show them the paper.

Alberti & Co., with fully paid-up capital.

Alberti & Co, 18, Via del Vicario.

I'm so happy, tonight.

Is this what you were looking for?

I'm so joyful, because I feel so safe with you.

Bravo, Giovanni. I was sure you would make it.

Now we've got a terrible rival: Alberti & Co.

You should've told us about your initiative.

Faravalli and I were ready to become your partners.

If there was a business, why offer it to someone else?

You wanted me to offer it to you?

Excuse me, but you've always kept your affairs from me.

And what affairs! What speculations! True, sly old fox?

I really needed money.

That 1% I get from selling your apartments,

I make 250-300 000 lire a month, maximum.

Yet, we lived the same way, we laughed together.

We used to eat out and I always paid my share.

Where did I get the money from to live like you?

And when I asked you to give me a hand...

You turned on your heels and ran.

Even Silvia left me and went back to her father. Right?

Let it go, it's over.

I'm saying this because my friends, instead of helping me out,

told you I was ruined,

that I asked everyone for money. Is it true, Riccardo ?

Whistle-blowers!

- Are you drunk? - Not at all.

Look, I can keep my balance on one leg till tomorrow.

Giovanni, look!

There's no God!

He does exist, General.

I said that because of the Franciscan over there.

Don't you have a wife? You�re always alone.

She works at night?

It's pretty humid during the night on that balcony.

Why don't you put on a hat? Faravalli, give him yours.

Giovanni, enough now! Stop it!

What are you doing? You leaving, my friends?

I'm just kidding. I don't make you laugh anymore?

Now when I don't need to ask you any favours?

I'm rich, Baratti.

Now I'm rich.

Giovanni...

From tomorrow on, I will make a fortune.

Tomorrow, I make the most important business decision of my life.

Are you not going to wish me luck?

Don't you cheer for me: ''Bravo, Alberti & Co!'' ?

Then let's drink! Let's have fun.

Orchestra, let's go !

- Giovanni... - Mom.

You leaving already? The party has just started.

They always stay on the sidelines.

They are the only ones who are unaware of

this boom.

We have all gone mad, but they take no notice.

They are happy. They have faith in me.

General, you instead... Tell me the truth.

You always said I would end up in rags.

- We're leaving. Good night. - Bye.

Dronazzi, Baratti, Faravalli, I'm richer than you!

See you and please forgive him.

Goodbye, Silvia. Goodbye, General.

- Forgive him. - It's nothing.

Please forgive him, daddy. The alcohol makes him sick.

He forgets his manners.

You're right.

They have left.

Silvia!

Time for beddy-byes!

Tidy everything up. Then you can leave.

Why aren't you in bed? Do you know what hour it is?

When there's a moon, I never go to bed alone.

You're my wife. You should know.

Can I look at the moon?

You haven't had enough of this night?

You've ruined the whole party. You offended everyone.

Why did you do it? My poor daddy was speechless...

Daddy?

Drop it, idiots!

Don't bother yourselves. Have fun, play.

Sing. Play me a song.

Rome don't fool me tonight

Give me a hand to let her say yes..

Martha.

Go away now.

Madam!

Go, I don't need you.

I have no one but you, Silvia.

Why are you doing this?

You say I behaved badly tonight?

Yes, very badly.

I treated them the way they deserved.

Because no one was kind to me.

Neither your father nor you. Remember.

But I don't care about them. I get rid of them easily!

I can't live without talking freely.

I would do anything to make you happy.

I said anything!

And what do I ask in return?

Just your love.

You should never doubt my love for you.

But I want to be sure you will love me forever.

Sure. I will.

How long?

What if one day I become

more ugly.

- What? - One day I'll be more ugly.

Me too. I will get old and I will be ugly.

If something happens to me?

I want to know If I can count on you?

Because no one in this world...

No one would be able to do what I do.

I don't understand you.

You need to.

I have to be sure I can count on you.

How can I say...

For example...

Look.

Look what I'm doing.

Here.

- What? - What?

My arm.

If I showed up like this, would you still love me?

Let's go to sleep. You're drunk.

Get in bed.

You will love me even without an arm?

Even without...

- I have to tell you. - I already know.

I must tell you.

But how? I love you.

- I love you, Silvia. - Calm down.

Giovanni...

All these things you're taking along,

your swimming trunks, the harpoon gun..., will you need them?

Of course I will. Livorno is a sea-side town.

But all the things you have to do there, will you have time?

I don't know. I don't want to go.

Look, you didn't put your necktie on.

What's wrong?

What's wrong with me?

Don't you see it's springtime. What a sky!

Be careful.

You're always overhasty when I'm not around.

Then all these car accidents...

It doesn't depend on us. When you are forced to...

Hush.

Don't say such things.

I'm going to say goodbye to the kid.

He's sleeping. Don't wake him up.

Giovanni...

Shhhh...

I made you a zabaglione, with fresh eggs.

Thank you.

- What did you give me? - Beaten eggs.

- I mustn't eat anything. - Why?

What? You kidding?

You mustn't eat anything before going on a trip.

I had no idea.

That's what they told me.

You mustn't eat anything before going on a trip.

You're joking.

You think I'm kidding?

- Have a good trip. - Yeah sure.

Listen... Are you going to see my mother today?

Of course.

Now that you had the last laugh,

buy a little present for daddy. A little something.

A panforte, he adores it.

You'll make him happy.

A panforte?

Listen.

Put the chain on the door and don't open to anyone.

Of course. Bye, my dear.

- What's wrong? - I'm not going.

Fool! Focus on your business and show them what you're made of.

Follow me.

You are from Rome?

Yes I am.

I'm not.

This way.

Please.

Good morning.

- How are you doing? - I�m OK but it's hot.

This way.

Yes, it's very hot. So hot.

So hot.

You're sweating.

Morally, I'm a strong man.

It's the pain that scares me.

Come on, Tammimabumba !

In Africa, they called him Tammimabumba.

It means ''Man-God''.

I was in charge of 1,000 men. Africa's largest construction sites.

We built roads, bridges... But I'm oversensitive.

He avoids going to the dentist.

Once, I had a root canal removed without anesthesia.

How can you be so brave?

You kidding? I shit bricks.

What are you doing?

Excuse me.

How long is it going to take?

Not much.

Where are you going?

I have to phone my wife.

Hello, Miss? 51-38-16-9.

9.

- Where is he? - On the phone.

Hello?

There she is. Silvia, it's me, Giovanni !

I just wanted to say hi and kiss you.

Thanks, you're so sweet.

It's nice you called, I'm more calm now.

Me too.

Silvia, are you happy?

Yes I am, my dear. And you?

I'm not. I'm not happy if you're not with me.

Then come back soon.

Please, listen, don't make me worried.

What?

The sea. It's still cold and you have rheumatism.

Haven't you noticed something? I forgot to put the flippers!

Don't worry, I won't need them.

Silvia, I have to go.

OK. Bye, Giovanni.

I'm going...

I'm going...

Giovanni?

Dad, he forgot to hang up.

- Where to? - Here.

Prepare the anesthesia.

Lay down.

Lay down.

Tammimabumba. That's it.

Mr. Bausetti? You are the famous Bausetti ?

Lucky you!

Please, lay down.

Thanks.

I'm afraid of anesthesia because

of the feeling of suffocation, you understand?

Is it OK if I'm on a first-name basis with you?

Alberti!

It's all right.

Let's go!

Professor!

Alberti!

Press!

I don't have a coin!

Get out of here!

Everyone out. Leave me with this gentleman.

- What are you doing here? - I'm going up.

Would you mind leaving us a minute?

Close the door.

This is completely childish!

You disappointed me. Shame on you!

What do you plan to do now?

Look at me.

I will give you the money back, on credit.

Where will you get the money?

I will decrease the discount rate. In an hour, you'll be ruined!

I don't want to lose my eye!

Be quiet.

Don't make a scene here in the elevator.

This is a fraud.

We have enough money to stand up to anything.

Sue me if you like.

I don't want to cheat on anyone. I'm just scared.

You know what? Do whatever you want.

Sue me, I will tell everything.

What do you mean by everything?

Everything.

It's unfair. You can force a man to sell his eye.

Who forced you? Honestly, who forced you?

Do tell me.

Please, don't think badly about me.

Why did you accept it?

I said, why did you take the money?

I needed it.

And now you don't?

I still do.

Mr. Alberti, listen to me.

Later, you can decide whatever you like.

Think. Calm down. I could be your mother.

What are you going to do later?

I know your situation better than you, don't fool yourself.

No one gives you credit any more, not even the baker. What next?

Are you going to seek charity from Il Messaggero readers

knock on your friends' doors?

You have no other choice left.

You've got a family, think about it.

Think about your wife, especially about her.

Here, listen.

As a token of trust, take this cheque.

Here. Take it! What more do you want from me?

All right?

Phew, it's gone.

Gone?

Yes.

Put on these glasses.

Damn, do you have 5 lire?

Not yet.

Finally!

That's just like you! You're great!

Everything's fine.

What happened?

Nothing.

Move along, please.

Move along. Let us through.

What happened?

Nothing. He got a bit scared. It happens.

- Let's cross the street. - Sure.

What happened, madam?

Stop! Through the crosswalk.

THE END

English subs by: marooned2 & Scharphedin, KG

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