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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:09,622 --> 00:01:11,249 Excuse us. 2 00:01:11,290 --> 00:01:14,282 Jeez, get a room or something. 3 00:01:14,327 --> 00:01:16,261 All right! 4 00:01:16,295 --> 00:01:18,763 They're getting charged for those. 5 00:01:18,798 --> 00:01:20,891 Those books aren't cheap, either. 6 00:01:20,933 --> 00:01:23,265 What are you looking at? 7 00:01:26,773 --> 00:01:28,764 Hey, Gerry, isn't that your bus? 8 00:01:28,808 --> 00:01:30,537 Great way to start the summer. 9 00:01:30,576 --> 00:01:34,410 Wait! Stop the bus! Stop! 10 00:01:34,447 --> 00:01:37,780 Ha ha ha! Go, fat boy, go! 11 00:01:37,817 --> 00:01:41,617 # Everybody wants to live, and they want to live # 12 00:01:41,654 --> 00:01:46,455 # And everybody wants to love, and they want to love # 13 00:01:46,492 --> 00:01:50,155 # Everybody wants to be # 14 00:01:50,196 --> 00:01:53,791 # Closer to free # 15 00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:56,461 # Yeah, and yeah, yeah # 16 00:01:56,502 --> 00:01:58,800 # Everybody wants respect # 17 00:01:58,838 --> 00:02:00,305 Foul ball! Strike two! 18 00:02:00,339 --> 00:02:02,068 Little help here, son. 19 00:02:02,108 --> 00:02:04,235 Come on. Toss it over. 20 00:02:04,277 --> 00:02:06,040 # Once in a while # 21 00:02:06,078 --> 00:02:07,443 Unh! 22 00:02:09,515 --> 00:02:11,608 Give it another try, son. 23 00:02:11,651 --> 00:02:13,118 Right here! 24 00:02:15,021 --> 00:02:17,455 Over the fence, son! 25 00:02:19,459 --> 00:02:22,121 Here! 26 00:02:22,161 --> 00:02:23,719 Unh! 27 00:02:32,104 --> 00:02:35,505 # Everybody one, everybody two # 28 00:02:35,541 --> 00:02:39,477 # Everybody three # 29 00:02:39,512 --> 00:02:43,778 # Everybody needs to touch, you know, now and then # 30 00:02:43,816 --> 00:02:48,776 # And everybody wants a good, good friend # 31 00:02:48,821 --> 00:02:52,655 # Everybody wants to be closer to free # 32 00:02:52,692 --> 00:02:54,819 Lemonade, lemonade. 33 00:03:00,666 --> 00:03:02,031 # Everybody wants to live # 34 00:03:02,068 --> 00:03:03,729 # And they want to live # 35 00:03:05,771 --> 00:03:08,069 Mom! 36 00:03:08,107 --> 00:03:12,271 # Everybody wants to be # 37 00:03:12,311 --> 00:03:15,303 # Closer to free # 38 00:03:22,555 --> 00:03:23,920 Hello? 39 00:03:23,956 --> 00:03:25,423 We're in here, honey. 40 00:03:25,458 --> 00:03:26,789 Come on, son. 41 00:03:28,594 --> 00:03:30,494 Why is everybody home? 42 00:03:30,530 --> 00:03:32,623 Did someone die? 43 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,290 Who's this? 44 00:03:38,204 --> 00:03:41,196 Hi, Gerry. Roger Johnson. 45 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,265 Islanders fan, huh? 46 00:03:43,309 --> 00:03:45,436 Team of the future, I say. 47 00:03:45,478 --> 00:03:48,447 Yeah. Whatever, I'm out of here. 48 00:03:48,481 --> 00:03:50,449 Hold those horses, cowboy. 49 00:03:50,483 --> 00:03:52,110 Mr. Johnson is your guest... 50 00:03:52,151 --> 00:03:56,611 and he's here to talk to you about a special summer camp. 51 00:03:56,656 --> 00:03:59,216 A camp designed just for you, Gerry. 52 00:03:59,258 --> 00:04:01,123 Summer camp? No way! 53 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,754 I have plans for the summer. I'm gonna hang out! 54 00:04:03,796 --> 00:04:06,458 Come on, honey. He's got a videotape. 55 00:04:06,499 --> 00:04:08,228 Why don't we take a little peek? 56 00:04:08,267 --> 00:04:10,132 Why don't we not? 57 00:04:14,606 --> 00:04:17,166 Greetings, future campers. 58 00:04:17,209 --> 00:04:21,270 I'm Alice Bushkin, and this is Harvey... 59 00:04:21,313 --> 00:04:23,747 and we've been the owners and operators... 60 00:04:23,782 --> 00:04:27,843 of Camp Hope for 32 wonderful summers. 61 00:04:27,886 --> 00:04:31,219 Won't you join us for number 33? 62 00:04:37,529 --> 00:04:40,555 Whoa! 63 00:04:40,599 --> 00:04:41,930 Hmm. 64 00:04:43,802 --> 00:04:45,861 What's that? 65 00:04:45,904 --> 00:04:47,735 This is called "the Blob." 66 00:04:47,773 --> 00:04:49,502 "The Blob," huh? 67 00:04:49,541 --> 00:04:52,942 You can go as high as 15 feet. 68 00:04:52,978 --> 00:04:54,605 Wow. 69 00:04:59,551 --> 00:05:01,849 Wow, go-karts. 70 00:05:01,887 --> 00:05:03,616 How many times can you go on the go-karts? 71 00:05:03,655 --> 00:05:05,555 As much as you want, Gerry. 72 00:05:05,590 --> 00:05:08,855 But be careful. They can be addicting. 73 00:05:11,263 --> 00:05:12,753 I'm only kidding. 74 00:05:12,798 --> 00:05:14,891 Hi, I'm Pat Finley! 75 00:05:14,933 --> 00:05:16,901 I've been coming here since I was 10 years old. 76 00:05:16,935 --> 00:05:18,232 Want to know why? 77 00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:20,738 Because Camp Hope is the fun way to lose weight. 78 00:05:20,772 --> 00:05:22,740 It's a fat camp! 79 00:05:22,774 --> 00:05:26,210 Are you crazy? No way! 80 00:05:26,244 --> 00:05:29,441 I'm not going to a camp with a bunch of fat-loads! 81 00:05:29,481 --> 00:05:32,450 - Gerry! - That's not kind, Gerry. 82 00:05:32,484 --> 00:05:34,452 We are doing this for your own good. 83 00:05:34,486 --> 00:05:36,317 We gotta nip this thing in the bud. 84 00:05:36,354 --> 00:05:40,950 I'm fine. This is a joke, right? 85 00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:43,051 You're fatter than I am. Why don't you go? 86 00:05:43,095 --> 00:05:46,030 You show your father some respect. 87 00:05:46,064 --> 00:05:48,430 I think we should have a little powwow... 88 00:05:48,467 --> 00:05:52,631 and we will call you with our decision later. 89 00:05:52,671 --> 00:05:55,196 I'll give you my decision right now. 90 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:56,901 I'm not going. 91 00:06:02,147 --> 00:06:04,206 This is Captain Harris speaking... 92 00:06:06,318 --> 00:06:08,718 ...cruising altitude of 29,000 feet. 93 00:06:08,754 --> 00:06:11,018 Those of you on the left side of the aircraft... 94 00:06:11,056 --> 00:06:13,047 have a nice view of the Blue Ridge Mountains. 95 00:06:13,091 --> 00:06:15,116 Hey, there, Mr. Rainy Day. 96 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,458 I've got a little surprise for you. 97 00:06:17,496 --> 00:06:19,361 Hmm? 98 00:06:19,397 --> 00:06:20,694 Huh? 99 00:06:20,732 --> 00:06:22,131 ...but in your seats... 100 00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:24,727 we request that you keep your seat belts fastened. 101 00:06:24,770 --> 00:06:26,601 Cutie. 102 00:06:26,638 --> 00:06:29,038 Great. 103 00:06:34,546 --> 00:06:37,242 Headed to fat camp? 104 00:06:37,282 --> 00:06:40,217 No. Why do you say that? 105 00:06:40,252 --> 00:06:43,221 Because you're fat. Is that your dad? 106 00:06:43,255 --> 00:06:47,123 No. Why do you say that? 107 00:06:47,159 --> 00:06:50,219 Because he's fat, too. 108 00:06:50,262 --> 00:06:51,923 Well, so are you. 109 00:06:51,963 --> 00:06:53,760 I know. That's why I'm going to fat camp. 110 00:06:53,799 --> 00:06:56,666 - I'm Roy. - I'm Gerry. 111 00:06:57,969 --> 00:06:59,732 I guess I'm going. 112 00:06:59,771 --> 00:07:00,931 I knew it! 113 00:07:00,972 --> 00:07:02,530 And that's your dad, too, isn't it? 114 00:07:02,574 --> 00:07:05,202 - Hell no! - You'll love camp, man. 115 00:07:05,243 --> 00:07:06,403 Camp is awesome. 116 00:07:06,444 --> 00:07:09,379 No one picks on you because you're not the fat kid. 117 00:07:09,414 --> 00:07:11,848 Everybody's the fat kid. 118 00:07:11,883 --> 00:07:15,148 Stick with me, Gerry, because I'm the man. 119 00:07:16,688 --> 00:07:20,715 Mr. Bushkin tells the scariest ghost stories you ever heard. 120 00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:24,721 Yes, have no fear, I have returned. 121 00:07:24,763 --> 00:07:26,890 I got a rookie here, and his name's Gerry... 122 00:07:26,932 --> 00:07:28,923 so show him the same amount of respect... 123 00:07:28,967 --> 00:07:31,492 that you show me--none. 124 00:07:43,782 --> 00:07:45,079 Excuse me! 125 00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:47,084 I'm looking for several portly adolescents. 126 00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:49,211 That's us. You're looking good, Pat. 127 00:07:49,254 --> 00:07:51,745 Tell me something I don't know. 128 00:07:51,790 --> 00:07:54,224 Let's load her up! 129 00:07:54,259 --> 00:07:56,352 Hey, hey! How you doing, guys? 130 00:07:56,394 --> 00:07:59,090 - Phillip, how are you? - This is Gerry. 131 00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:00,927 Hey, Gerry. I'm Pat Finley. 132 00:08:00,966 --> 00:08:02,695 I'm sure you recognize me from my work... 133 00:08:02,734 --> 00:08:05,532 in the Camp Hope promotional video. 134 00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:07,231 We have a little tradition, Gerry. 135 00:08:07,272 --> 00:08:09,206 The new guy drives to camp. Right, guys? 136 00:08:09,241 --> 00:08:12,267 Keep it under 70. We got some weird local cops. 137 00:08:12,310 --> 00:08:13,743 You drive a stick, right? 138 00:08:13,778 --> 00:08:15,746 No, but I can try. 139 00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:17,714 No, no, no. Sorry, cannot risk it. 140 00:08:17,749 --> 00:08:20,718 Come here a second. I gotta ask you something. 141 00:08:20,752 --> 00:08:22,583 Something very serious. 142 00:08:23,922 --> 00:08:27,050 Are you ready for the best damn summer of your life? 143 00:08:27,092 --> 00:08:28,992 Yeah! 144 00:08:29,027 --> 00:08:31,222 Is everybody gonna behave themselves this summer? 145 00:08:31,263 --> 00:08:34,494 - No! - Good! That's what I expect! 146 00:08:34,532 --> 00:08:38,229 Can't do it. Gotta get back to the camp! 147 00:08:38,270 --> 00:08:40,397 - Pull over, please! - Don't bug me! 148 00:08:40,438 --> 00:08:43,271 - All right! - Yeah! 149 00:08:43,308 --> 00:08:45,572 Ha ha! Psyched you out! 150 00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:47,942 - You stink, Pat! - That's not funny! 151 00:08:47,979 --> 00:08:49,970 I thought that was pretty amusing, myself. 152 00:08:51,449 --> 00:08:53,246 Garner, where you from? 153 00:08:53,285 --> 00:08:56,311 - Long Island. - Never heard of it. 154 00:09:00,792 --> 00:09:03,522 Sam, don't lean your head out the window. 155 00:09:03,561 --> 00:09:05,529 We lost six kids like that last summer. 156 00:09:05,563 --> 00:09:07,360 I'm not going to pick up your head. 157 00:09:07,399 --> 00:09:09,367 I don't need it anyway! 158 00:09:09,401 --> 00:09:13,701 Camp Hope, everybody! Best place on earth! 159 00:09:16,241 --> 00:09:19,608 Camp Hope! Camp Hope! Camp Hope! 160 00:09:19,644 --> 00:09:22,272 Camp Hope! Camp Hope! Camp Hope! 161 00:09:40,365 --> 00:09:41,992 Mm-hmm. 162 00:09:42,033 --> 00:09:46,197 All right, now in a nice, orderly fashion... 163 00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:47,534 get off my bus! 164 00:09:49,207 --> 00:09:50,504 It's stuck! 165 00:09:50,542 --> 00:09:53,238 I don't know what to do! It's stuck! 166 00:10:02,053 --> 00:10:04,749 - Heads up! - Unh! 167 00:10:04,789 --> 00:10:06,347 Here's another one! 168 00:10:06,391 --> 00:10:07,688 Hey, bony butt. 169 00:10:07,725 --> 00:10:09,750 How was your year, chicken legs? 170 00:10:09,794 --> 00:10:11,386 It's not funny, guys. 171 00:10:11,429 --> 00:10:12,828 Why are they teasing him? 172 00:10:12,864 --> 00:10:14,695 That's a counselor named Tim. 173 00:10:14,732 --> 00:10:16,859 He used to be one of us, but then he lost weight... 174 00:10:16,901 --> 00:10:18,528 so we give him a hard time about it. 175 00:10:18,570 --> 00:10:21,095 - He's cool, though. - Let's hear it. 176 00:10:21,139 --> 00:10:23,869 Tim, what happened, did you have a baby? 177 00:10:23,908 --> 00:10:26,399 That's funny. 178 00:10:26,444 --> 00:10:29,641 Just because I got these great, skinny buns of steel. 179 00:10:29,681 --> 00:10:31,273 Whoo! Look at that-- all tight and toned. 180 00:10:31,316 --> 00:10:32,943 Bet you wish they were yours. 181 00:10:32,984 --> 00:10:34,781 Don't you? Take a look, boys! 182 00:10:34,819 --> 00:10:36,616 The envy of the entire camp-- 183 00:10:36,654 --> 00:10:40,818 Up there is the bald eagle, which is a single breed... 184 00:10:43,828 --> 00:10:46,126 - Hi. - Hi. 185 00:10:46,164 --> 00:10:48,758 I'm Julie, the new nurse. 186 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,132 Pat. 187 00:10:51,169 --> 00:10:53,034 Pat, I'm a little lost. 188 00:10:53,071 --> 00:10:55,938 Can you tell me where the infirmary is? 189 00:11:00,578 --> 00:11:02,546 Well, let's see... 190 00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:06,311 Uh...No. 191 00:11:06,351 --> 00:11:10,879 Oh, well...I'll find it. 192 00:11:10,922 --> 00:11:12,321 Nice to meet you. 193 00:11:18,062 --> 00:11:20,553 Pat, you've been coming here since you were ten... 194 00:11:20,598 --> 00:11:23,260 and you don't know where the infirmary is? 195 00:11:23,301 --> 00:11:25,792 I panicked. 196 00:11:25,837 --> 00:11:27,930 What are we gonna do with you, man? 197 00:11:27,972 --> 00:11:30,099 Help me with these bags, all right? 198 00:11:30,141 --> 00:11:31,608 - Garner. - Yeah? 199 00:11:31,643 --> 00:11:33,270 Let's get working on this trunk. 200 00:11:33,311 --> 00:11:34,608 OK. 201 00:11:34,646 --> 00:11:37,114 - You got a girlfriend? - Oh, no. 202 00:11:37,148 --> 00:11:39,946 So you broke up with her before the summer... 203 00:11:39,984 --> 00:11:41,781 so you could be free to play the field, huh? 204 00:11:41,819 --> 00:11:44,447 Yeah, you gotta play the field. 205 00:11:44,489 --> 00:11:47,287 Yeah, I break up with my girlfriend every summer. 206 00:11:47,325 --> 00:11:48,758 You gotta be free, you know? 207 00:11:48,793 --> 00:11:50,283 All right, put it down. 208 00:11:50,328 --> 00:11:51,886 This is it, Gerry. 209 00:11:51,930 --> 00:11:54,592 I've been the counselor in here for 10 years. 210 00:11:54,632 --> 00:11:55,963 I hope you're ready. 211 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,798 You'll be hanging with some pretty cool cats. 212 00:12:01,339 --> 00:12:02,704 Josh, how you doing, man? 213 00:12:02,740 --> 00:12:04,071 Roy. 214 00:12:04,108 --> 00:12:08,602 I just saw the new nurse, and she's very attractive. 215 00:12:10,114 --> 00:12:11,445 This pleases me. 216 00:12:13,117 --> 00:12:14,982 Here it is! 217 00:12:15,019 --> 00:12:19,012 Ah, Chez Chipmunk-- my summer home. 218 00:12:19,057 --> 00:12:20,524 What do we got here? 219 00:12:20,558 --> 00:12:24,460 Gerry, this is Josh, camp legend. 220 00:12:24,495 --> 00:12:26,520 Aye-aye, Captain, sir. 221 00:12:26,564 --> 00:12:28,327 All present and accounted for, Captain, sir. 222 00:12:28,366 --> 00:12:30,857 What's the matter? You're not a captain? 223 00:12:30,902 --> 00:12:32,426 No. 224 00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:34,404 Then maybe you should lose the wings. 225 00:12:36,908 --> 00:12:38,375 Welcome to the Chipmunk bunk, Captain-- 226 00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:40,343 the best bunk in the entire camp. 227 00:12:40,378 --> 00:12:41,777 Yep! Sure is. 228 00:12:41,813 --> 00:12:45,180 You guys aren't gonna call me Captain all summer, are you? 229 00:12:45,216 --> 00:12:46,979 Yes, sir, Captain! 230 00:12:47,018 --> 00:12:48,918 Captain, looks like you're all set here. 231 00:12:48,953 --> 00:12:50,386 I gotta take care of some other stuff. 232 00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:52,252 You're the best, Pat. 233 00:12:52,290 --> 00:12:54,053 All right, take it easy. 234 00:12:54,092 --> 00:12:57,289 All right, Gerry, over here is your brand-new bunk. 235 00:12:57,328 --> 00:12:58,795 Don't tell anybody... 236 00:12:58,830 --> 00:13:03,733 but I snuck in some Oreos for emergencies. 237 00:13:03,768 --> 00:13:06,236 That was very sneaky of you. 238 00:13:06,270 --> 00:13:10,036 Chipmunks! Download, now! 239 00:13:22,420 --> 00:13:25,218 New kid! Yo! 240 00:13:25,256 --> 00:13:26,553 Come on over here! 241 00:13:26,591 --> 00:13:29,754 Get these salamis off my back. They really hurt. 242 00:13:34,632 --> 00:13:36,759 Phillip, look at this. 243 00:13:36,801 --> 00:13:38,428 That's pretty nice, Nicholas... 244 00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:41,461 but look at this. 245 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,171 Yes! 246 00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:54,949 Crikey! 247 00:13:54,986 --> 00:13:57,750 I knew it was too hot in that bus. 248 00:14:01,025 --> 00:14:03,721 This is definitely not sanitary. 249 00:14:03,761 --> 00:14:06,821 Everyone! Grab a taste of England, guys! 250 00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,214 You'll love the Bushkins. 251 00:15:03,253 --> 00:15:04,720 Every year they surprise us... 252 00:15:04,755 --> 00:15:06,222 with something cool for the camp. 253 00:15:06,256 --> 00:15:07,723 Last year they got us the Blob... 254 00:15:07,758 --> 00:15:10,454 and this year I hear they're getting us jet skis. 255 00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:13,258 - Jet skis! - Here they come. 256 00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:20,232 - You'll love these people. - Really? 257 00:15:24,274 --> 00:15:26,242 Greetings, campers. 258 00:15:26,276 --> 00:15:30,440 Hi! Hi! Hiya! 259 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,744 You'll get it. 260 00:15:32,783 --> 00:15:36,241 That's the greatest sound I've heard in a long time. 261 00:15:36,286 --> 00:15:41,417 Harvey and I are saddened and dismayed to announce... 262 00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:45,258 that we are no longer the owners of Camp Hope. 263 00:15:45,295 --> 00:15:47,320 - What? - What's going on? 264 00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:48,763 What are you talking about? 265 00:15:48,799 --> 00:15:51,165 Sometimes in life... 266 00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:54,728 things don't work out the way you planned... 267 00:15:54,771 --> 00:15:58,263 and in those situations, sometimes... 268 00:15:58,308 --> 00:16:02,404 you file Chapter 9 bankruptcy--Jesus! 269 00:16:02,446 --> 00:16:06,815 We worked our whole life, and what do we have to show? 270 00:16:06,850 --> 00:16:09,717 Nothing! Nothing! 271 00:16:09,753 --> 00:16:11,448 Harvey, please stop. 272 00:16:11,488 --> 00:16:13,285 What? 273 00:16:13,323 --> 00:16:18,693 OK, kids, out with the old, and in with the new. 274 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:21,959 It won't be the same without them. 275 00:16:21,998 --> 00:16:25,798 Your new owner will introduce himself in a minute. 276 00:16:25,836 --> 00:16:28,168 But you know what I would like? 277 00:16:28,205 --> 00:16:31,971 Please, could you give us just one more... 278 00:16:32,008 --> 00:16:37,105 Camp Hope "Hi, hi, hiya"? 279 00:16:37,147 --> 00:16:39,877 Hiya. 280 00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:42,942 God bless all of you. 281 00:16:48,458 --> 00:16:50,323 We love you, Harvey! 282 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,760 He's kidding, guys. He's gotta be. 283 00:16:52,796 --> 00:16:54,855 One word of advice. 284 00:16:54,898 --> 00:16:58,390 Never let anyone sign your checks! 285 00:16:58,435 --> 00:16:59,834 Harvey, please. 286 00:16:59,870 --> 00:17:02,839 You can't leave. We need you. 287 00:17:02,873 --> 00:17:05,467 Come back. 288 00:17:05,509 --> 00:17:07,875 - What are we gonna do? - I don't know, man. 289 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,896 Now, it's time to meet your new owner and operator. 290 00:17:26,930 --> 00:17:29,626 Tony Perkis is a man who believes in you. 291 00:17:29,666 --> 00:17:32,134 His life is dedicated to saying things like... 292 00:17:32,169 --> 00:17:34,296 "Yes!" and "You better believe it!" 293 00:17:34,337 --> 00:17:37,704 Entrepreneur, a motivator, and a new friend... 294 00:17:37,741 --> 00:17:41,939 may I introduce Tony Perkis! 295 00:17:45,782 --> 00:17:49,240 Mm. Can you smell it? 296 00:17:49,286 --> 00:17:50,548 What? No. 297 00:17:50,587 --> 00:17:53,715 There's a life force in here tonight. 298 00:17:53,757 --> 00:17:56,021 Do you feel it? Hmm? 299 00:17:56,059 --> 00:17:59,119 I look around this room... 300 00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:02,598 and I see potential. 301 00:18:04,701 --> 00:18:08,637 I see the future chairman of a Fortune 500 company. 302 00:18:08,672 --> 00:18:10,333 I see a famous rap artist. 303 00:18:14,244 --> 00:18:18,010 I see the president of the United States of America. 304 00:18:18,048 --> 00:18:19,982 He's from England. 305 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,984 Being an only child... 306 00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:24,987 educated entirely by private tutors my whole life... 307 00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,784 I'm looking forward to interacting... 308 00:18:26,823 --> 00:18:28,586 with children for the first time. 309 00:18:28,625 --> 00:18:30,456 I'm going to teach you... 310 00:18:30,493 --> 00:18:33,326 and I bet you might teach me a little something, also. 311 00:18:34,764 --> 00:18:37,062 Now, those of you from western Pennsylvania... 312 00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:39,591 probably know my father, Tony Perkis Senior... 313 00:18:39,636 --> 00:18:41,399 the Lighting Fixture King. 314 00:18:41,438 --> 00:18:43,372 All the lights you'll see around this camp... 315 00:18:43,406 --> 00:18:45,340 have been donated by him. 316 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,249 But I'm gonna do old Dad one better. 317 00:18:53,283 --> 00:18:55,808 I'm not gonna give you a light. 318 00:18:55,852 --> 00:18:58,821 I'm gonna show you the light! 319 00:18:58,855 --> 00:19:00,789 And to help me do it... 320 00:19:00,824 --> 00:19:03,054 let's meet the new staff of Camp Hope. 321 00:19:03,093 --> 00:19:05,323 Team Perkis! 322 00:19:05,362 --> 00:19:08,695 Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! 323 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:13,526 Ha! Ha! Ha! 324 00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:15,765 All right! Stand proud, boys! 325 00:19:15,805 --> 00:19:18,865 Hey, who wants to be on TV, huh? 326 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,637 That's Kenny the cameraman. 327 00:19:20,677 --> 00:19:22,201 Hey, there, Kenny! 328 00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,145 If all goes according to plan... 329 00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:26,375 we're gonna turn this summer into the number-one... 330 00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:28,714 weight-loss infomercial in the country! 331 00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:30,049 You're kidding. 332 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,281 Kids, at age 12... 333 00:19:32,322 --> 00:19:35,723 I weighed 319 pounds. 334 00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:39,490 I had bad skin, low self-esteem... 335 00:19:39,529 --> 00:19:41,793 and no self-respect. 336 00:19:41,831 --> 00:19:46,962 Now...I eat success for breakfast! 337 00:19:47,003 --> 00:19:50,063 - With skim milk. - Ugh. 338 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,573 Pounds are gonna fly... 339 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:55,738 and fat is outta here, mister! 340 00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:58,646 And we are gonna do it together! 341 00:19:58,682 --> 00:20:00,616 Oh, my God. 342 00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:03,710 Ha! Haaa... 343 00:20:03,753 --> 00:20:05,345 Aah! 344 00:20:07,324 --> 00:20:09,315 I want to go home! 345 00:20:13,797 --> 00:20:16,561 The Bushkins always put me in the Chipmunk bunk. 346 00:20:16,599 --> 00:20:18,032 I've been here for 10 years. 347 00:20:18,068 --> 00:20:19,535 According to my information... 348 00:20:19,569 --> 00:20:21,366 you have been reassigned to the big house. 349 00:20:21,404 --> 00:20:23,634 I don't think Tony would mind if we switched back. 350 00:20:23,673 --> 00:20:27,370 That would make me feel very uncomfortable. 351 00:20:27,410 --> 00:20:29,674 I'm gonna talk to Tony. 352 00:20:29,712 --> 00:20:33,808 Please do. Let me get your bag. 353 00:20:37,687 --> 00:20:39,018 Unh! 354 00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:46,056 Good-bye now. 355 00:20:46,096 --> 00:20:48,564 Enjoy your summer. 356 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,296 Hello! 357 00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:55,998 I am your new friend and counselor! 358 00:20:56,039 --> 00:20:59,998 Please enjoy your new Perkis system uniforms. 359 00:21:00,043 --> 00:21:02,568 Your families will be billed automatically. 360 00:21:02,612 --> 00:21:04,739 Now, let's play the fun game... 361 00:21:04,781 --> 00:21:06,874 that helps us learn each other's names. 362 00:21:06,916 --> 00:21:08,713 We already know each other's names. 363 00:21:08,751 --> 00:21:10,514 Silence! 364 00:21:12,889 --> 00:21:16,723 You--please announce everyone's name. 365 00:21:16,759 --> 00:21:21,059 OK. That's Roy. That's Josh. 366 00:21:21,097 --> 00:21:24,066 Sam. That's Cody. That's Nicholas. 367 00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:25,692 That's Michael. That's Phil. 368 00:21:25,735 --> 00:21:28,363 And I am Lars. 369 00:21:28,404 --> 00:21:31,840 "Lars"? What kind of name is that? 370 00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:33,502 Where are you from? 371 00:21:37,814 --> 00:21:39,281 Far away. 372 00:21:40,517 --> 00:21:46,183 I must inform you I have a severely deviated septum. 373 00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:47,655 When I sleep at night... 374 00:21:47,690 --> 00:21:49,783 I make a very disturbing sound. 375 00:21:49,826 --> 00:21:52,124 Don't be alarmed. I am fine. 376 00:21:52,162 --> 00:21:55,097 Now, go to sleep. 377 00:22:15,885 --> 00:22:19,753 Oh, no. I'm dead. 378 00:22:19,789 --> 00:22:21,518 I'm in Heaven. 379 00:22:21,558 --> 00:22:23,753 Roy? Roy. 380 00:22:23,793 --> 00:22:25,590 What's going on? 381 00:22:25,628 --> 00:22:27,425 Wake up, campers. 382 00:22:27,463 --> 00:22:29,328 It's a glorious morning. 383 00:22:29,365 --> 00:22:31,424 Today is Evaluation Day. 384 00:22:31,467 --> 00:22:33,765 The key word here is "value." 385 00:22:33,803 --> 00:22:35,771 Do you have any? Not yet. 386 00:22:35,805 --> 00:22:37,272 But by the end of the summer... 387 00:22:37,307 --> 00:22:39,867 this camp will be filled with skinny winners! 388 00:22:39,909 --> 00:22:42,844 "Skinny weiners"? You hear that, guys? 389 00:22:42,879 --> 00:22:44,278 Do you think I'm crazy? 390 00:22:44,314 --> 00:22:46,782 I'm not crazy. I just believe in you. 391 00:22:46,816 --> 00:22:50,274 And I believe in you. Call and order now. 392 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:54,051 All right, let's go get our hands dirty. 393 00:22:54,090 --> 00:22:55,557 # Ahh, freak out! # 394 00:22:55,592 --> 00:23:00,794 Glide! Stride! 395 00:23:00,830 --> 00:23:03,060 Get your butt off the ground! 396 00:23:03,099 --> 00:23:06,432 Concentrate! Find your center. 397 00:23:06,469 --> 00:23:07,663 # Freak out! # 398 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,732 Stride! Glide! 399 00:23:13,776 --> 00:23:18,577 # Listen to us, I'm sure you'll be amazed # 400 00:23:18,615 --> 00:23:20,606 Stride! 401 00:23:20,650 --> 00:23:23,210 I'm feeling skinny, Tony. 402 00:23:23,253 --> 00:23:25,221 So am I! 403 00:23:25,255 --> 00:23:27,553 Aah! 404 00:23:27,590 --> 00:23:29,421 We keep this up, I see no reason... 405 00:23:29,459 --> 00:23:31,984 why we can't beat Camp MVP in the Apache Relay. 406 00:23:32,028 --> 00:23:34,258 What's an Apache Relay? 407 00:23:34,297 --> 00:23:37,892 It's a dumb inter-camp event where those jocks at MVP... 408 00:23:37,934 --> 00:23:40,926 come over here and kick our butts every year. 409 00:23:40,970 --> 00:23:43,495 # Ahh, freak out! # 410 00:23:43,539 --> 00:23:46,770 Only film the ones that are standing, Kenneth. 411 00:23:46,809 --> 00:23:48,538 Glide! 412 00:23:51,881 --> 00:23:54,782 141 pounds, Gerry Garner. 413 00:23:54,817 --> 00:23:56,944 Weight-loss goal, 17 pounds. 414 00:23:56,986 --> 00:23:59,750 Please step down. Next! 415 00:24:01,724 --> 00:24:05,956 Very fat, I see. 160 pounds. 416 00:24:05,995 --> 00:24:08,054 Weight-loss goal, 23 pounds. 417 00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:12,862 Ooh. Oh, my! 418 00:24:12,902 --> 00:24:15,200 Congratulations, Mr. Simms. 419 00:24:15,238 --> 00:24:17,399 You are the fattest boy in camp. 420 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,238 All right, let's hear it for Simms. 421 00:24:24,013 --> 00:24:25,241 Get down! 422 00:24:25,281 --> 00:24:26,748 # Ahh, freak out! # 423 00:24:26,783 --> 00:24:29,547 # All that pressure got you down # 424 00:24:29,585 --> 00:24:31,177 Five and a quarter. 425 00:24:31,220 --> 00:24:34,246 # Has your head spinning all around # 426 00:24:34,290 --> 00:24:35,951 # Feel the rhythm # 427 00:24:35,992 --> 00:24:38,517 # Chant the rhyme, come on along # 428 00:24:38,561 --> 00:24:39,755 Big smile. 429 00:24:39,796 --> 00:24:41,354 # And have a real good time # 430 00:24:41,397 --> 00:24:43,763 Turn around to your side. 431 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,791 Please put your fat finger down! 432 00:24:45,835 --> 00:24:47,029 # Freak out! # 433 00:24:48,604 --> 00:24:50,265 # Ahh, freak out! # 434 00:24:50,306 --> 00:24:52,570 You've broken my camera! 435 00:24:52,608 --> 00:24:54,576 No, no, no, you listen to me. 436 00:24:54,610 --> 00:24:56,908 If I don't get a 50,000 unit pre-sale on this video... 437 00:24:56,946 --> 00:24:58,777 my ass is wheat grass! 438 00:24:58,815 --> 00:25:00,680 Just hang on a second. 439 00:25:00,717 --> 00:25:03,185 Attention campers, tonight's lecture is... 440 00:25:03,219 --> 00:25:06,814 "Liposuction: Option or Obsession." 441 00:25:06,856 --> 00:25:10,121 Watch out for Salami Sam! 442 00:25:10,159 --> 00:25:13,492 Whoa! 443 00:25:13,529 --> 00:25:16,020 Hey, don't pee in the water! 444 00:25:16,065 --> 00:25:19,057 Don't drink the water. He peed in it! 445 00:25:24,474 --> 00:25:27,773 - Nurse Julie! - Whoa! 446 00:25:27,810 --> 00:25:30,472 Excuse me, Nurse Julie. 447 00:25:30,513 --> 00:25:33,243 I'm having a problem with my sciatic nerve. 448 00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:36,877 Perhaps later you could give me a deep-tissue massage. 449 00:25:36,919 --> 00:25:39,046 I'll pencil you in. 450 00:25:39,088 --> 00:25:41,386 Lars, shouldn't you be watching the kids? 451 00:25:41,424 --> 00:25:44,052 Don't worry, I have them on the body system. 452 00:25:44,093 --> 00:25:45,390 "Body system"? 453 00:25:45,428 --> 00:25:47,259 Yeah, have a look. 454 00:25:49,499 --> 00:25:53,869 Body! 455 00:25:53,903 --> 00:26:00,438 - Body! - Body! 456 00:26:00,543 --> 00:26:03,706 "Buddy." Heh heh. 457 00:26:03,746 --> 00:26:07,580 You're obviously a very powerful man, Lars. 458 00:26:07,617 --> 00:26:09,107 Would you excuse me? 459 00:26:12,188 --> 00:26:15,089 Yes, but with much difficulty! 460 00:26:18,261 --> 00:26:22,393 Buddy! 461 00:26:22,432 --> 00:26:25,230 All right, Gerry, it's your bat. 462 00:26:25,268 --> 00:26:27,202 Nicholas, you know what to do. 463 00:26:27,236 --> 00:26:28,897 Is this kind of like cricket? 464 00:26:28,938 --> 00:26:30,405 It's not kind of like cricket. 465 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:33,238 It is cricket. Just with a different name. 466 00:26:33,276 --> 00:26:35,574 MVPers are almost here. Are the boys ready? 467 00:26:35,611 --> 00:26:38,409 Yeah. Tony, I really need to talk to you about this. 468 00:26:38,448 --> 00:26:40,245 Our kids will get their butts handed to them. 469 00:26:40,283 --> 00:26:41,773 Why don't we hold off on this? 470 00:26:41,818 --> 00:26:44,912 Thank you for telling me how to run my camp. 471 00:26:44,954 --> 00:26:46,421 That I bought. 472 00:26:46,456 --> 00:26:50,187 This won't help those kids get any better at sports! 473 00:26:50,226 --> 00:26:51,921 We're not teaching them about sports! 474 00:26:51,961 --> 00:26:53,895 We're teaching them about life! 475 00:26:53,930 --> 00:26:55,693 Life. 476 00:27:00,036 --> 00:27:01,401 Look! 477 00:27:01,437 --> 00:27:04,372 Come on, let's go! Let's do it! 478 00:27:04,407 --> 00:27:08,104 Go, go, go! 479 00:27:08,144 --> 00:27:09,907 I'm not so good at sports. 480 00:27:09,946 --> 00:27:12,005 Oh, yeah, and I'm Deion Sanders. 481 00:27:12,048 --> 00:27:14,243 We're dead, guys. 482 00:27:15,751 --> 00:27:17,844 All right, I want to see some hustle out there! 483 00:27:17,887 --> 00:27:20,219 - Hey, Chris. - Pat, how you doing? 484 00:27:20,256 --> 00:27:22,053 See you got a promotion. 485 00:27:22,091 --> 00:27:25,219 Yeah. Listen, Chris, over the years... 486 00:27:25,261 --> 00:27:26,728 you guys have whooped us pretty good. 487 00:27:26,762 --> 00:27:28,787 How about taking it easy on my guys this year? 488 00:27:28,831 --> 00:27:31,891 - You know what I mean. - No, I don't. 489 00:27:31,934 --> 00:27:33,561 MVP campers are trained to compete... 490 00:27:33,603 --> 00:27:35,230 at the highest level at all times. 491 00:27:35,271 --> 00:27:37,535 We wouldn't want to confuse them. 492 00:27:37,573 --> 00:27:39,268 Looking good, Pat. 493 00:27:39,308 --> 00:27:41,105 All right, let's work it around! 494 00:27:41,143 --> 00:27:42,405 Come on, men! 495 00:27:42,445 --> 00:27:44,174 Let's hit the field and let the fates decide. 496 00:27:44,213 --> 00:27:45,646 There we go-- good plan, all right! 497 00:27:45,681 --> 00:27:47,410 There you go! Eye of the tiger! 498 00:27:47,450 --> 00:27:48,917 Did you eat your Wheaties today, Phillip? 499 00:27:48,951 --> 00:27:50,578 I hope to God you ate your Wheaties. 500 00:27:50,620 --> 00:27:51,917 Simms, way to hustle. 501 00:27:51,954 --> 00:27:53,444 Like a rocket-- there you go. 502 00:27:54,790 --> 00:27:56,951 Pat Finley, please report... 503 00:27:56,993 --> 00:27:59,757 to the men's toilet immediately. 504 00:27:59,795 --> 00:28:03,754 Bring a mop and a plunger...now! 505 00:28:06,869 --> 00:28:09,565 All right, who's up first? Let's go! 506 00:28:10,806 --> 00:28:12,774 Ohh, my arm! 507 00:28:13,776 --> 00:28:15,073 Oh, my knee! 508 00:28:15,111 --> 00:28:17,079 Ohh, my-- 509 00:28:20,182 --> 00:28:24,915 # Even the best gets beat sometimes, baby # 510 00:28:24,954 --> 00:28:26,546 Come on, lardo! 511 00:28:26,589 --> 00:28:30,116 Tim, take me out, please! 512 00:28:30,159 --> 00:28:32,957 # You got to hang tough # 513 00:28:32,995 --> 00:28:35,293 - Ohh! - Out! 514 00:28:35,331 --> 00:28:36,821 # You got to hang tough # 515 00:28:36,866 --> 00:28:39,426 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 516 00:28:39,468 --> 00:28:41,459 Beautiful! 517 00:28:41,504 --> 00:28:43,495 Can I go to the nurse? 518 00:28:43,539 --> 00:28:45,769 Yeah, OK, Phillip. 519 00:28:45,808 --> 00:28:49,471 Just wait till someone comes back, OK? 520 00:28:51,681 --> 00:28:53,148 Ow, my arm. 521 00:28:54,383 --> 00:28:58,114 Cody, what on earth is going on out there? 522 00:28:58,154 --> 00:29:00,452 We're Perkisizing. 523 00:29:04,493 --> 00:29:05,824 Strike! 524 00:29:05,861 --> 00:29:07,954 Hey, batter, batter, batter. 525 00:29:09,532 --> 00:29:11,864 # Even the experts miss sometimes # 526 00:29:11,901 --> 00:29:13,459 Strike! 527 00:29:13,502 --> 00:29:14,901 Strike three! 528 00:29:16,472 --> 00:29:17,700 Strike! 529 00:29:17,740 --> 00:29:20,402 Nice swing, you fat towboat. Ha! 530 00:29:20,443 --> 00:29:22,434 Is that all you've got? 531 00:29:22,478 --> 00:29:23,638 Uhh! 532 00:29:25,014 --> 00:29:26,413 That's foul! 533 00:29:28,618 --> 00:29:31,018 Doh! 534 00:29:32,722 --> 00:29:35,714 All right, next batter. Let's go, son. 535 00:29:38,027 --> 00:29:39,517 - Uhh! - Look out! 536 00:29:39,562 --> 00:29:42,030 - Ow! - Sorry! 537 00:29:42,064 --> 00:29:43,258 You can do it. 538 00:29:43,299 --> 00:29:44,823 Keep your eyes on the bat... 539 00:29:44,867 --> 00:29:46,630 put it in the pocket... 540 00:29:46,669 --> 00:29:47,829 swing harder... 541 00:29:47,870 --> 00:29:49,804 I have no idea what I'm saying. 542 00:29:50,806 --> 00:29:52,000 Ohh! 543 00:29:52,041 --> 00:29:53,702 You OK? 544 00:29:55,444 --> 00:29:57,878 There goes your perfect game. Come on! 545 00:29:57,913 --> 00:29:59,847 Calm down. 546 00:29:59,882 --> 00:30:01,679 Let's go! Take your base, you big baby! 547 00:30:01,717 --> 00:30:02,877 You're holding up the game! 548 00:30:02,918 --> 00:30:05,910 # You got to hang tough # 549 00:30:05,955 --> 00:30:08,446 He ain't hurt. Suck it up, Gerry! 550 00:30:08,491 --> 00:30:11,051 Aww, look, the poor baby's gonna cry. 551 00:30:11,093 --> 00:30:13,061 Don't blubber, chubber! Ha ha. 552 00:30:13,095 --> 00:30:14,289 Uhh! 553 00:30:18,668 --> 00:30:20,602 Don't mess with us. 554 00:30:20,636 --> 00:30:23,169 No, man, that's my bed! 555 00:30:24,940 --> 00:30:27,602 I don't enjoy this part of the job. 556 00:30:27,642 --> 00:30:33,205 But it's vital to the success of the Perkis system... 557 00:30:34,649 --> 00:30:36,310 that we remove all temptation... 558 00:30:38,119 --> 00:30:39,313 Ohh! 559 00:30:39,354 --> 00:30:42,881 ...from your lives. Here. 560 00:30:42,924 --> 00:30:44,721 Dispose of that, Lars. 561 00:30:46,595 --> 00:30:47,892 What? 562 00:30:47,929 --> 00:30:49,794 I'm still your friend. 563 00:30:49,831 --> 00:30:51,423 Come on, give me a hug. 564 00:30:51,466 --> 00:30:54,399 Hmm? 565 00:30:55,470 --> 00:30:56,732 Hmm. 566 00:30:56,771 --> 00:30:58,466 Come on. 567 00:31:03,912 --> 00:31:06,574 Tony believes in you. 568 00:31:11,253 --> 00:31:13,118 Looks like my man's packing. 569 00:31:21,830 --> 00:31:23,058 Drop back, son. 570 00:31:24,666 --> 00:31:27,794 Oh, Tony. 571 00:31:27,836 --> 00:31:30,236 Sir! I was a Chipmunk last year. 572 00:31:30,272 --> 00:31:32,832 Look. 573 00:31:32,874 --> 00:31:34,034 Dawson, what are you doing, man? 574 00:31:35,677 --> 00:31:38,339 Well, well, well, what have we here? 575 00:31:38,380 --> 00:31:40,814 Who would like to own up to this treasure trove? 576 00:31:40,849 --> 00:31:43,374 Whose wonderful candies are these? 577 00:31:43,418 --> 00:31:45,943 Oh, look. A deli meat. 578 00:31:48,256 --> 00:31:49,848 You...come here. 579 00:31:49,891 --> 00:31:52,724 Yes, you. Come here. 580 00:31:52,761 --> 00:31:54,490 Don't be frightened. Just come here. 581 00:31:54,529 --> 00:31:56,656 - I.D. cards. - Yes, Tony. 582 00:31:56,698 --> 00:31:58,359 Let's see. 583 00:32:01,870 --> 00:32:07,433 "Garner, Gerald. 141 pounds. Age 11." 584 00:32:07,475 --> 00:32:10,876 You didn't have anything to do with this, did you? 585 00:32:10,912 --> 00:32:13,472 Well... 586 00:32:13,515 --> 00:32:16,643 But I bet you might be able to tell me who did? 587 00:32:18,787 --> 00:32:21,187 Anyone who brings candy into this camp... 588 00:32:21,222 --> 00:32:22,814 is not your friend. 589 00:32:22,857 --> 00:32:25,951 He is a destroyer. 590 00:32:25,994 --> 00:32:29,896 Do you understand that, Gerald Garner? 591 00:32:29,931 --> 00:32:32,263 Do you? 592 00:32:32,300 --> 00:32:36,236 I'm sure your father... 593 00:32:36,271 --> 00:32:38,762 Maury Garner, wouldn't want to hear... 594 00:32:38,807 --> 00:32:42,299 that his son is a destroyer, would he? 595 00:32:42,344 --> 00:32:43,572 I don't think so. 596 00:32:43,612 --> 00:32:46,103 Enough. All right. 597 00:32:46,147 --> 00:32:48,274 I'll tell you whose candy it is. 598 00:32:48,316 --> 00:32:50,841 - Don't do it, Josh! - Shh! Let the man speak. 599 00:32:50,885 --> 00:32:53,376 The candy belongs to Seymour Butts. 600 00:32:53,421 --> 00:32:58,415 Seymour Butts? Who's Seymour Butts? 601 00:32:58,460 --> 00:33:00,121 Who's Seymour Butts?! 602 00:33:00,161 --> 00:33:02,857 Nobody's seen more butts than you, Uncle Tony! 603 00:33:08,737 --> 00:33:11,297 You picked the wrong man to mess with. 604 00:33:11,339 --> 00:33:14,035 Ooh. 605 00:33:14,075 --> 00:33:16,168 I didn't know I was messing with a man! 606 00:33:18,947 --> 00:33:22,542 Ha ha ha ha ha! We have a comedian! 607 00:33:25,487 --> 00:33:27,387 Hey, I like comedians. 608 00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:30,323 Perhaps I can book you on a tour. 609 00:33:30,358 --> 00:33:32,121 You the man, Josh! 610 00:33:43,004 --> 00:33:44,801 Good morning, campers. 611 00:33:44,839 --> 00:33:47,205 Joshua Birnbaum is no longer with us. 612 00:33:47,242 --> 00:33:48,607 His bed is now available. 613 00:33:48,643 --> 00:33:51,111 Josh is all right, isn't he? 614 00:33:51,146 --> 00:33:54,707 Man, I hope so... wherever he is. 615 00:33:58,019 --> 00:33:59,850 Sam, did you hear about Josh? 616 00:33:59,888 --> 00:34:03,346 Sorry to hear about your little friend Josh. 617 00:34:03,391 --> 00:34:05,791 Hey, Gerry. I found out the truth about Josh. 618 00:34:05,827 --> 00:34:07,488 I heard that they kicked him out... 619 00:34:07,529 --> 00:34:10,123 and his parents were so mad, they wouldn't let him come home. 620 00:34:10,165 --> 00:34:13,293 They left him at a bus stop all alone at midnight. 621 00:34:13,334 --> 00:34:16,394 Well, he's dead. 622 00:34:16,438 --> 00:34:17,632 He pulled a knife on Tony... 623 00:34:17,672 --> 00:34:20,470 and he's locked up in a juvenile delinquent center. 624 00:34:20,508 --> 00:34:22,169 Now he's living in the park in New York... 625 00:34:22,210 --> 00:34:24,235 with a guy who has no legs. 626 00:34:24,279 --> 00:34:25,439 No way. 627 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,710 I'm just telling you what I heard. 628 00:34:28,950 --> 00:34:30,850 Dear Grandma... 629 00:34:30,885 --> 00:34:34,821 someone once said "War is hell." 630 00:34:34,856 --> 00:34:37,324 They've never been to fat camp. 631 00:34:38,927 --> 00:34:41,054 I knew the food would be bad... 632 00:34:41,096 --> 00:34:42,688 but even worse... 633 00:34:44,466 --> 00:34:47,162 today he killed the Blob. 634 00:34:47,202 --> 00:34:50,467 As for the go-karts... 635 00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:53,167 may they rest in pieces. 636 00:34:53,208 --> 00:34:54,573 I'm writing you... 637 00:34:54,609 --> 00:34:56,600 because nobody else seemed to care. 638 00:34:56,644 --> 00:34:59,545 I did not send you to go-kart camp. 639 00:35:01,716 --> 00:35:02,944 Attention, campers... 640 00:35:02,984 --> 00:35:06,750 lunch has been canceled today due to lack of hustle. 641 00:35:06,788 --> 00:35:08,119 Deal with it. 642 00:35:08,156 --> 00:35:10,351 Tony Perkis tries to lead by example. 643 00:35:10,391 --> 00:35:13,360 This is the eighteenth level of the Perkis system. 644 00:35:13,394 --> 00:35:15,692 You'll all be doing this by Labor Day! 645 00:35:15,730 --> 00:35:18,062 All right, do it to it, Lars! 646 00:35:18,099 --> 00:35:19,862 It's my honor, Tony! 647 00:35:21,236 --> 00:35:23,898 - Ohh! - Crazy! 648 00:35:23,938 --> 00:35:26,634 But we're afraid to follow. 649 00:35:28,810 --> 00:35:32,871 I know each and every one of you because I was you. 650 00:35:32,914 --> 00:35:36,782 Once a day, the kids from Camp MVP drive by... 651 00:35:36,818 --> 00:35:38,149 and make fun of us. 652 00:35:38,186 --> 00:35:42,122 You stink! You stink! You stink! 653 00:35:43,792 --> 00:35:45,692 Good one! 654 00:35:45,727 --> 00:35:50,027 At night, they vandalize our camp. 655 00:35:57,839 --> 00:36:00,467 At least Josh got out... 656 00:36:00,508 --> 00:36:03,204 where there's food. 657 00:36:03,244 --> 00:36:06,475 We have to resort to more desperate measures. 658 00:36:06,514 --> 00:36:08,607 Let's get 'em! 659 00:36:11,953 --> 00:36:13,147 I want meat! 660 00:36:13,188 --> 00:36:15,884 I'll save something for you! 661 00:36:15,924 --> 00:36:18,154 Tony's arranged a dance with the girls' camp... 662 00:36:18,193 --> 00:36:22,220 so he can humiliate us into losing weight. 663 00:36:22,263 --> 00:36:23,992 Pray for me, Grandma. 664 00:36:24,032 --> 00:36:25,522 Love, Gerry. 665 00:36:28,937 --> 00:36:32,202 # S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y night # 666 00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:42,811 # S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y, night # 667 00:36:42,851 --> 00:36:46,844 # Gonna keep on dancin' to the rock 'n' roll # 668 00:36:46,888 --> 00:36:48,412 # On Saturday night # 669 00:36:48,456 --> 00:36:50,617 # Saturday night # 670 00:36:50,658 --> 00:36:53,354 # Dancin' to the rhythm in our heart and soul # 671 00:36:53,394 --> 00:36:56,022 # On Saturday night... # 672 00:36:56,064 --> 00:36:58,294 Let's just get out of here. 673 00:36:58,333 --> 00:37:01,200 We can't, man. They're guarding the door. 674 00:37:01,236 --> 00:37:03,830 # I--I--I--I got a date # 675 00:37:03,872 --> 00:37:05,362 Rock 'n' roll. 676 00:37:05,406 --> 00:37:07,636 # At the good old rock 'n' roll road show # 677 00:37:07,675 --> 00:37:11,873 Sugar-free punch. This bites. 678 00:37:11,913 --> 00:37:15,405 How much more are they gonna subject us to? 679 00:37:15,450 --> 00:37:17,315 Why don't those guys just lose weight? 680 00:37:17,352 --> 00:37:19,912 Why don't you show them how to throw up after meals? 681 00:37:19,954 --> 00:37:21,751 - Shut up. - You shut up. 682 00:37:21,789 --> 00:37:23,017 You guys, stop it. 683 00:37:25,860 --> 00:37:28,021 Team Jerkis strikes again, huh? 684 00:37:29,497 --> 00:37:32,193 Do you think he could've possibly planned... 685 00:37:32,233 --> 00:37:34,224 for it to be this bad? 686 00:37:34,269 --> 00:37:35,896 Yes. 687 00:37:35,937 --> 00:37:38,405 I have some friends in Child Welfare. 688 00:37:38,439 --> 00:37:42,034 Tony must be doing something illegal around here. 689 00:37:42,076 --> 00:37:44,374 Maybe I should give them a call. 690 00:37:44,412 --> 00:37:47,939 - Great. - This really bites! 691 00:37:47,982 --> 00:37:52,578 Would you like to have some of this...punch? 692 00:37:52,620 --> 00:37:54,349 Yeah, thanks. 693 00:37:55,723 --> 00:37:58,089 # I believe in miracles # 694 00:37:58,126 --> 00:38:00,424 Did you catch Lars's outfit? 695 00:38:00,461 --> 00:38:01,894 # Since you came along # 696 00:38:01,930 --> 00:38:03,830 # You sexy thing # 697 00:38:09,137 --> 00:38:11,002 Yo, check this out. 698 00:38:13,574 --> 00:38:15,269 Jeez, she's coming over! 699 00:38:15,310 --> 00:38:17,039 I think she's looking at me. 700 00:38:24,285 --> 00:38:26,947 Do you know where the bathroom is? 701 00:38:35,196 --> 00:38:37,596 Ouch. 702 00:38:37,632 --> 00:38:39,827 That was brutal. 703 00:38:39,867 --> 00:38:41,926 They're young, you know? 704 00:38:41,970 --> 00:38:43,938 Still afraid of girls. 705 00:38:43,972 --> 00:38:45,496 Poor guys. 706 00:38:45,540 --> 00:38:48,532 So, do you want to dance? 707 00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:50,567 Um, uh... 708 00:38:50,611 --> 00:38:53,944 No, I have a bad...sprained... 709 00:38:53,982 --> 00:38:56,075 Excuse me. Tim? 710 00:38:56,117 --> 00:38:57,345 # You sexy thing # 711 00:38:57,385 --> 00:38:59,580 OK. 712 00:39:02,623 --> 00:39:04,557 This is really boring. 713 00:39:04,592 --> 00:39:08,289 This has got to end. 714 00:39:11,766 --> 00:39:14,326 # Oh-oh-oh, yeah # 715 00:39:14,369 --> 00:39:16,837 Excuse me, guys. 716 00:39:16,871 --> 00:39:19,101 # I'm just a love machine # 717 00:39:19,140 --> 00:39:22,200 # And I won't work for nobody but you # 718 00:39:22,243 --> 00:39:23,403 # Yeah, baby # 719 00:39:23,444 --> 00:39:25,969 # I'm just a love machine # 720 00:39:27,949 --> 00:39:29,746 Tim's blown a microchip! 721 00:39:32,687 --> 00:39:35,622 Tim! Tim! What are you doing? 722 00:39:35,656 --> 00:39:37,385 Saving the dance. Come on. 723 00:39:37,425 --> 00:39:40,258 The girls will see how much fun we're having... 724 00:39:40,294 --> 00:39:42,057 and then everyone will join in! 725 00:39:42,096 --> 00:39:43,324 That's weird, Tim. 726 00:39:43,364 --> 00:39:44,956 Maybe it is, Reverend No-Fun... 727 00:39:44,999 --> 00:39:46,489 but I am saving the dance. 728 00:39:46,534 --> 00:39:49,560 Stand back and watch the magic! Whoo! 729 00:39:49,604 --> 00:39:52,767 # I-I-I'm just a love machine # 730 00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:55,241 # And I won't work for nobody but you # 731 00:39:55,276 --> 00:39:56,971 # Ohh, yeah # 732 00:39:58,246 --> 00:39:59,508 Yeah! 733 00:39:59,547 --> 00:40:01,606 Oh, yeah! Get down to the funk! 734 00:40:03,317 --> 00:40:05,877 Don't you see how much fun we're having? 735 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,047 Join in! It'll be contagious! 736 00:40:08,089 --> 00:40:09,613 It's called boogie fever! 737 00:40:09,657 --> 00:40:12,023 - Whoo! - That's it! 738 00:40:12,060 --> 00:40:13,994 Nicholas, dance with me. 739 00:40:14,028 --> 00:40:16,223 Oh, yes! 740 00:40:16,264 --> 00:40:19,165 Shake a leg! Let's go! 741 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,761 # And I won't work for nobody but you # 742 00:40:22,804 --> 00:40:26,001 Maybe we should go out there. It's just dancing. 743 00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:28,565 OK. I guess I can stand this song. 744 00:40:28,609 --> 00:40:30,133 # Yeah, baby # 745 00:40:30,178 --> 00:40:32,510 # A huggin' kissin' fiend # 746 00:40:33,915 --> 00:40:35,109 Yes. 747 00:40:35,149 --> 00:40:36,741 Yes! 748 00:40:36,784 --> 00:40:38,877 Excuse me. 749 00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,150 May I have the pleasure of this dance? 750 00:40:41,189 --> 00:40:43,123 Yes, you may. 751 00:40:43,157 --> 00:40:46,149 # That you have got to use # 752 00:40:46,194 --> 00:40:49,493 # If you look into my file # 753 00:40:49,530 --> 00:40:52,727 # I am sure you can find out how # 754 00:40:52,767 --> 00:40:56,259 # To turn me on, just set my dial # 755 00:40:56,304 --> 00:40:58,738 # And let me love you for a little while # 756 00:40:58,773 --> 00:41:02,709 # Ooh-ooh, I-I-I'm just a love machine # 757 00:41:02,743 --> 00:41:05,735 # And I won't work for nobody but you # 758 00:41:05,780 --> 00:41:07,077 # Ooh, yeah # 759 00:41:07,115 --> 00:41:08,639 # I'm just a love machine # 760 00:41:08,683 --> 00:41:10,446 # Yeah, baby # 761 00:41:10,485 --> 00:41:12,715 # A huggin' kissin' fiend # 762 00:41:12,753 --> 00:41:15,449 # La la-la-la-la # 763 00:41:15,490 --> 00:41:17,185 # La-la-la-la # 764 00:41:17,225 --> 00:41:18,419 # La-la # 765 00:41:18,459 --> 00:41:19,858 # Ooh-ooh-ooh # 766 00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:21,691 # La la-la-la-la # 767 00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:23,094 # La-la-la-la # 768 00:41:27,602 --> 00:41:30,002 All right, dance is over! 769 00:41:30,037 --> 00:41:31,902 Everybody go home! 770 00:41:31,939 --> 00:41:33,429 Thank you for coming, ladies. 771 00:41:33,474 --> 00:41:34,736 You ruin everything! 772 00:41:34,775 --> 00:41:36,675 Buses are waiting over there. 773 00:41:36,711 --> 00:41:39,373 Thank you. I appreciate your efforts. 774 00:41:39,413 --> 00:41:41,472 I know this hasn't been easy. 775 00:41:46,621 --> 00:41:48,111 He was nice, too. 776 00:41:49,457 --> 00:41:52,017 Put the fruit trays away. 777 00:41:52,059 --> 00:41:54,391 The insects will be out soon. 778 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:13,845 Hey. 779 00:42:13,881 --> 00:42:16,611 How about a ride out of here? 780 00:42:19,887 --> 00:42:22,822 Did this place always stink this much? 781 00:42:24,692 --> 00:42:26,489 No, Gerry. 782 00:42:26,527 --> 00:42:29,792 This place used to stink very little. 783 00:42:29,830 --> 00:42:32,799 In fact... 784 00:42:32,833 --> 00:42:34,698 it didn't stink at all. 785 00:42:34,735 --> 00:42:36,726 Well, it does now. 786 00:42:38,973 --> 00:42:44,707 I thought at least I'd be able to ride the go-karts. 787 00:42:44,745 --> 00:42:47,236 I've never ridden one. 788 00:42:50,251 --> 00:42:51,684 You really like them? 789 00:42:53,521 --> 00:42:56,388 I'm so slow. 790 00:42:56,424 --> 00:42:58,688 It would've been cool to go fast. 791 00:43:01,596 --> 00:43:04,531 Really fly, you know? 792 00:43:04,565 --> 00:43:07,398 I thought I'd be good at it. 793 00:43:10,104 --> 00:43:11,332 Really? 794 00:43:13,841 --> 00:43:15,172 That's interesting. 795 00:43:17,578 --> 00:43:21,344 Think you'd be able to handle those hairpin turns? 796 00:43:21,382 --> 00:43:23,373 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah? 797 00:43:23,417 --> 00:43:25,749 Think you'd be able to handle That powerful engine? 798 00:43:25,786 --> 00:43:27,686 Let's see what you got, Garner. Come on! 799 00:43:27,722 --> 00:43:29,189 Whoo! 800 00:43:29,223 --> 00:43:31,350 Lean into it! That's right! 801 00:43:35,596 --> 00:43:38,087 So, how did you learn how to drive go-karts? 802 00:43:38,132 --> 00:43:39,622 Mowed a lot of lawns, Gerry! 803 00:43:39,667 --> 00:43:41,965 Avoid the obstacles! Excellent! Sharp turn! 804 00:43:42,003 --> 00:43:43,402 - Whoo! - Yeah! 805 00:43:46,540 --> 00:43:48,007 Come on, faster! 806 00:43:48,042 --> 00:43:50,704 Faster, faster, yeah. 807 00:43:50,745 --> 00:43:53,179 No problem. 808 00:43:53,214 --> 00:43:54,977 How are you on your jumps, huh? 809 00:43:55,016 --> 00:43:57,951 - These things jump? - They fly, buddy! 810 00:43:57,985 --> 00:43:59,850 Watch out for that oil slick! 811 00:43:59,887 --> 00:44:02,185 Aaah! 812 00:44:03,858 --> 00:44:06,520 Aah! Aaaah! 813 00:44:10,231 --> 00:44:12,699 That was fun. Let's do it again. 814 00:44:14,235 --> 00:44:16,135 - OK. - Yes! 815 00:44:16,170 --> 00:44:18,536 As soon as I catch my breath. 816 00:44:18,572 --> 00:44:20,039 Maybe next summer. 817 00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:22,065 Come on, Pat. 818 00:44:50,437 --> 00:44:52,428 Josh? 819 00:44:55,109 --> 00:44:57,942 Josh? It's Josh. 820 00:44:57,978 --> 00:44:59,343 - Josh is back! - Josh! 821 00:44:59,380 --> 00:45:01,405 Josh! 822 00:45:01,448 --> 00:45:04,576 - Man, good to see you! - I knew you were OK! 823 00:45:04,618 --> 00:45:07,746 Josh, what's wrong? What'd they do to you? 824 00:45:07,788 --> 00:45:10,689 Josh...speak to me. 825 00:45:10,724 --> 00:45:13,625 Were you in jail? The nut house? 826 00:45:13,661 --> 00:45:16,357 Josh, it's me--Gerry. 827 00:45:16,397 --> 00:45:20,561 Gerry. Pbbbbt. 828 00:45:20,601 --> 00:45:22,865 Heh heh. Funny, Josh. 829 00:45:22,903 --> 00:45:24,632 What happened, man? Talk to us. 830 00:45:26,874 --> 00:45:29,741 Josh was bad. 831 00:45:30,778 --> 00:45:32,109 What's he mean? 832 00:45:32,146 --> 00:45:35,343 Oh, man. Oh, jeez. 833 00:45:38,352 --> 00:45:41,048 Josh now good. 834 00:45:41,088 --> 00:45:44,319 Good? What do you mean? 835 00:45:44,358 --> 00:45:48,055 Must be... good to see my big ass again! 836 00:45:50,331 --> 00:45:52,561 I liked you better with the lobotomy. 837 00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:54,158 What really happened, man? 838 00:45:54,201 --> 00:45:55,896 Perkis sent me home without a refund. 839 00:45:55,936 --> 00:45:57,904 However, my dad's a lawyer. 840 00:45:58,005 --> 00:46:00,303 He threatened to sue and Perkis caved... 841 00:46:00,341 --> 00:46:02,707 like the Buffalo Bills in the Super Bowl. 842 00:46:09,750 --> 00:46:12,878 Hey, Josh, how long have you been shaving? 843 00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:14,251 A couple of years. 844 00:46:16,090 --> 00:46:18,354 What was it like on the outside? 845 00:46:19,593 --> 00:46:24,326 It was incredible. First, I went to the Sizzler! 846 00:46:24,365 --> 00:46:27,266 Got that all-you-can-eat meal. I closed the place. 847 00:46:27,301 --> 00:46:29,599 How are we fixed for supplies on this end? 848 00:46:29,637 --> 00:46:31,264 Perkis wiped us out. 849 00:46:31,305 --> 00:46:34,240 There isn't a Gummi Bear left in this entire camp. 850 00:46:36,777 --> 00:46:39,803 Whew. I am doggin' it this morning. 851 00:46:41,915 --> 00:46:44,679 Ahh. Come on, T. 852 00:46:44,718 --> 00:46:47,209 Now let's do it up. 853 00:46:47,254 --> 00:46:48,516 Whew! 854 00:46:50,457 --> 00:46:52,448 Start me up. 855 00:46:54,795 --> 00:46:56,194 Come on. 856 00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:58,630 Hurry up, guys. We don't have all day. 857 00:46:58,666 --> 00:47:01,066 Lift those legs. 858 00:47:02,169 --> 00:47:04,103 Looks pretty sturdy, guys. 859 00:47:07,341 --> 00:47:10,174 - Hurry up, man. - I'm trying. 860 00:47:11,345 --> 00:47:14,610 Roy, you're up first. Give it a shot. 861 00:47:14,648 --> 00:47:16,639 Simms, you're my lookout man. 862 00:47:16,684 --> 00:47:19,653 Give me a boost. Up, up. 863 00:47:19,687 --> 00:47:20,881 Uhh! 864 00:47:22,423 --> 00:47:23,583 Aah! 865 00:47:33,367 --> 00:47:35,062 All right. Gerry, check this room out. 866 00:47:35,102 --> 00:47:36,626 Roy, Nicholas, you guys come with me... 867 00:47:36,670 --> 00:47:37,898 and be quiet about it. 868 00:47:37,938 --> 00:47:40,236 That candy's gotta be in here somewhere. 869 00:47:40,274 --> 00:47:43,334 I'll find the candy. 870 00:47:43,377 --> 00:47:45,470 Where's the sweets? 871 00:47:48,115 --> 00:47:50,447 - Over here. - What do you got? 872 00:47:56,090 --> 00:47:58,718 Come on, you devil log! 873 00:47:58,759 --> 00:48:00,750 Uhh! 874 00:48:04,298 --> 00:48:05,458 Oh! 875 00:48:05,499 --> 00:48:07,262 - Hurry up. - All right, all right. 876 00:48:10,170 --> 00:48:11,831 "Perkisize with Tony"? 877 00:48:11,872 --> 00:48:13,772 That's me! 878 00:48:15,042 --> 00:48:16,532 I'm skinny. 879 00:48:19,913 --> 00:48:22,211 - Come on, Josh! - I'm trying! 880 00:48:22,249 --> 00:48:23,716 If you can't get it, we need to leave. 881 00:48:25,219 --> 00:48:26,379 Yeah! 882 00:48:28,489 --> 00:48:30,855 Uhh! 883 00:48:32,860 --> 00:48:34,623 Thanks, Captain. 884 00:48:36,730 --> 00:48:39,198 I'm doggin' it, Pat! 885 00:48:41,802 --> 00:48:43,133 Letters? 886 00:48:47,307 --> 00:48:49,571 You guys, these are our letters home. 887 00:48:49,610 --> 00:48:53,944 No way. This guy is sick! 888 00:48:53,981 --> 00:48:56,347 This is the letter I wrote my grandma! 889 00:49:06,860 --> 00:49:08,054 Oh! 890 00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,998 Pack it up, guys. Let's move! 891 00:49:16,036 --> 00:49:18,368 Oh, no. We're dead! 892 00:49:24,478 --> 00:49:27,038 He's coming! He's coming! 893 00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,014 He's coming! 894 00:49:32,186 --> 00:49:33,551 Roy, the picture! 895 00:49:33,587 --> 00:49:35,418 Josh, the drawers! 896 00:49:41,295 --> 00:49:42,990 Put the whites away, Gerry. Help me! 897 00:49:43,030 --> 00:49:46,193 - Whites right here. - Just throw it in! 898 00:49:46,233 --> 00:49:49,259 Oooooo-ahhhh! 899 00:49:50,904 --> 00:49:53,532 Wait a sec! Where's Nicholas? 900 00:49:56,643 --> 00:49:58,611 You guys go. I'll get him. 901 00:49:58,645 --> 00:50:00,306 Let's move it, Roy. 902 00:50:00,347 --> 00:50:02,872 Nickie! Nicholas! 903 00:50:05,919 --> 00:50:07,682 Mmm! 904 00:50:07,721 --> 00:50:10,155 What are you doing? He's coming! 905 00:50:14,261 --> 00:50:15,489 Get down. 906 00:50:17,364 --> 00:50:18,626 Gerry, come on! 907 00:50:29,376 --> 00:50:33,005 - Oh, my. I didn't mean to. - Just go! 908 00:50:34,515 --> 00:50:35,777 Uhh! 909 00:50:47,261 --> 00:50:48,455 Oh! 910 00:50:53,033 --> 00:50:55,331 Uhh! 911 00:50:58,639 --> 00:51:00,300 Scatter! 912 00:51:31,738 --> 00:51:32,898 Coast clear? 913 00:51:32,940 --> 00:51:34,430 - That was close. - Clear! 914 00:51:34,474 --> 00:51:36,999 - Whoo! - We did it. 915 00:51:37,044 --> 00:51:40,013 You really showed some guts out there, Cappy. 916 00:51:40,047 --> 00:51:42,572 One of those fish and chips farts there, Nickie? 917 00:51:42,616 --> 00:51:44,140 I extend my deepest apologies-- 918 00:51:44,184 --> 00:51:47,312 Wait! Wrapper. 919 00:51:47,354 --> 00:51:50,482 - What? - Food wrapper. 920 00:51:50,524 --> 00:51:51,855 Come on! 921 00:51:54,695 --> 00:51:56,890 Who's in there? What have you got? 922 00:51:56,930 --> 00:52:00,127 Nothing! No one! Just go away! 923 00:52:04,037 --> 00:52:06,005 Where'd you get that?! 924 00:52:06,039 --> 00:52:07,233 I found it? 925 00:52:07,274 --> 00:52:09,367 You found it. Come here, you little punk! 926 00:52:09,409 --> 00:52:11,377 - Tell us! - Yeah, tell us! 927 00:52:11,411 --> 00:52:13,436 All right! OK! I'll tell you! 928 00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:16,210 You gotta keep it a secret. 929 00:52:20,253 --> 00:52:23,188 # I know a guy who's tough but sweet # 930 00:52:24,791 --> 00:52:27,624 # He's so fine, he can't be beat # 931 00:52:29,196 --> 00:52:31,960 # He's got everything that I desire # 932 00:52:33,634 --> 00:52:36,296 # Sets the summer sun on fire # 933 00:52:37,804 --> 00:52:40,238 # I want candy # 934 00:52:44,511 --> 00:52:47,173 # Go to see him when the sun goes down # 935 00:52:48,949 --> 00:52:51,645 # Ain't no finer boy in town # 936 00:52:52,819 --> 00:52:55,879 # I want candy # 937 00:52:57,724 --> 00:53:00,056 # I want candy # 938 00:53:01,161 --> 00:53:02,389 # Hey! # 939 00:53:04,931 --> 00:53:07,627 OK, everyone. Here we go. 940 00:53:07,668 --> 00:53:09,602 Hey, I'm not rolling yet. 941 00:53:13,306 --> 00:53:15,274 Are you rolling now, Kenneth? 942 00:53:15,308 --> 00:53:17,776 - Speed. - Does that mean rolling? 943 00:53:17,811 --> 00:53:19,836 Yes, it does. 944 00:53:21,081 --> 00:53:22,844 OK, everyone. Clap your hands! 945 00:53:27,521 --> 00:53:30,888 We've reached the midpoint of our great experiment. 946 00:53:30,924 --> 00:53:32,983 Parents' Day is just around the corner... 947 00:53:33,026 --> 00:53:35,392 and I think they're gonna be very, very pleased. 948 00:53:35,429 --> 00:53:36,919 Remember to wear your name tags. 949 00:53:36,963 --> 00:53:40,490 I don't think they'll recognize you. 950 00:53:40,534 --> 00:53:41,933 Now it's time to see... 951 00:53:41,968 --> 00:53:44,732 what the Perkis system means in pure loss of poundage. 952 00:53:44,771 --> 00:53:47,763 This is the moment we've all been waiting for. 953 00:53:47,808 --> 00:53:50,208 Phillip Rubinoff, step up, son. 954 00:53:51,878 --> 00:53:54,142 All right, let's see how you're doing... 955 00:53:54,181 --> 00:53:56,115 you little whippersnapper. 956 00:53:59,319 --> 00:54:03,085 You're two pounds heavier than when you came to camp... 957 00:54:03,123 --> 00:54:04,613 but we can fix that. All we have to do... 958 00:54:04,658 --> 00:54:06,216 is decrease his food intake... 959 00:54:06,259 --> 00:54:08,420 and increase his metabolic output. 960 00:54:08,462 --> 00:54:10,453 All right! Step off the scale, son. 961 00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:13,125 Muscle weighs more than fat! 962 00:54:13,166 --> 00:54:15,794 All right! OK! 963 00:54:15,836 --> 00:54:19,932 Gerald Garner. Step on up, Gerald. 964 00:54:21,341 --> 00:54:24,276 - Good luck. - Go get 'em, Captain. 965 00:54:25,445 --> 00:54:28,278 Hello, Gerald. Moment of truth. 966 00:54:31,518 --> 00:54:32,917 Hmm? 967 00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:42,988 You've gained nine pounds. 968 00:54:43,029 --> 00:54:45,520 Have you been cheating? 969 00:54:45,565 --> 00:54:47,294 Turn off the camera. 970 00:54:47,334 --> 00:54:49,302 Let me make something very clear. 971 00:54:49,336 --> 00:54:51,531 The Perkis system does not work... 972 00:54:51,571 --> 00:54:55,337 with cheaters like Gerald Garner, OK? 973 00:54:55,375 --> 00:54:58,776 How can I sell an infomercial about fat kids... 974 00:54:58,879 --> 00:55:02,371 who can't keep their piggy little snouts shut? 975 00:55:02,415 --> 00:55:05,213 Who's gonna buy that? Step off the scale. 976 00:55:08,622 --> 00:55:11,887 OK. Turn on the camera. 977 00:55:11,925 --> 00:55:14,587 Josh Birnbaum, step on up! 978 00:55:14,628 --> 00:55:16,892 Get on the scale, son! All right! 979 00:55:18,765 --> 00:55:19,925 - Get off the scale. - OK, then. 980 00:55:19,966 --> 00:55:22,958 Turn off the camera. All right. 981 00:55:23,003 --> 00:55:25,995 All right, fine. I blame myself. 982 00:55:27,140 --> 00:55:28,368 You know what? 983 00:55:28,408 --> 00:55:31,502 I don't blame myself. No, not this time, Tony. 984 00:55:31,545 --> 00:55:33,536 Excuse me one second. 985 00:55:38,385 --> 00:55:40,353 How you doin', little Tony? 986 00:55:40,387 --> 00:55:41,684 Bad. 987 00:55:41,721 --> 00:55:43,279 Why do you feel bad? 988 00:55:43,323 --> 00:55:45,052 Because everything's falling apart... 989 00:55:45,091 --> 00:55:46,786 and I can't do anything about it. 990 00:55:46,827 --> 00:55:49,261 It's not your fault. 991 00:55:49,296 --> 00:55:51,230 I know it's not my fault, but whose fault is it... 992 00:55:51,264 --> 00:55:52,526 if it's not my fault? 993 00:55:52,566 --> 00:55:54,864 It's their fault. That's right. 994 00:55:54,901 --> 00:55:56,459 It's their fault! 995 00:55:56,503 --> 00:55:59,131 You have failed, and you will pay! 996 00:55:59,172 --> 00:56:00,833 Tomorrow morning at 0600... 997 00:56:00,874 --> 00:56:02,967 everyone who has not met their weight loss goal... 998 00:56:03,009 --> 00:56:04,738 will join me on a 20-mile hike. 999 00:56:04,778 --> 00:56:07,941 Pack light, boys. The party's over. 1000 00:56:07,981 --> 00:56:10,950 Twenty miles? Tony! 1001 00:56:10,984 --> 00:56:13,452 Tony, sir, with all due respect... 1002 00:56:13,486 --> 00:56:15,784 I don't think it's healthy to subject the-- 1003 00:56:15,822 --> 00:56:17,517 Healthy? Oh, healthy! 1004 00:56:17,557 --> 00:56:20,651 The fat man is gonna tell me what's healthy! 1005 00:56:20,694 --> 00:56:22,753 I'm just saying that-- 1006 00:56:22,796 --> 00:56:24,354 You just--You--I-- 1007 00:56:24,397 --> 00:56:26,388 I think if-- To subject the kids-- 1008 00:56:26,433 --> 00:56:27,764 Know what? It's funny. 1009 00:56:27,801 --> 00:56:31,464 Nobody really cares what you have to say. 1010 00:56:31,504 --> 00:56:33,631 You're a negativity-spreader. 1011 00:56:33,673 --> 00:56:36,164 You're contaminating my well, Finley... 1012 00:56:36,209 --> 00:56:38,473 and I won't have it. 1013 00:56:40,513 --> 00:56:42,845 Let's make the best of this afternoon. 1014 00:56:47,854 --> 00:56:49,344 It's OK, man. 1015 00:56:49,389 --> 00:56:51,357 Forget it, Pat. 1016 00:57:10,042 --> 00:57:12,272 Hey. 1017 00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:18,013 They're having a barbecue over at Camp MVP tonight. 1018 00:57:18,050 --> 00:57:19,984 Carolina ribs. 1019 00:57:20,019 --> 00:57:23,682 The pork, not the beef. 1020 00:57:23,722 --> 00:57:26,748 I wonder what it would feel like to be one of those guys. 1021 00:57:26,792 --> 00:57:30,751 Just once I want to score a winning touchdown. 1022 00:57:30,796 --> 00:57:31,990 In my entire life... 1023 00:57:32,031 --> 00:57:34,864 I've never scored a point in anything. 1024 00:57:37,903 --> 00:57:39,530 Gerry. 1025 00:57:42,108 --> 00:57:44,576 I'm just so tired of being the fat guy. 1026 00:57:45,978 --> 00:57:48,208 I know, Pat... 1027 00:57:48,247 --> 00:57:50,909 but you don't want to be one of those guys. 1028 00:57:50,950 --> 00:57:53,976 They're jerks. 1029 00:57:55,754 --> 00:57:56,982 Forget them. 1030 00:57:57,022 --> 00:57:58,853 Yeah, forget them. 1031 00:57:58,891 --> 00:58:00,916 Yeah. 1032 00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:02,825 Forget you! 1033 00:58:02,862 --> 00:58:05,854 Keep your washboard stomachs and your oily muscles! 1034 00:58:05,898 --> 00:58:07,923 I don't want them! 1035 00:58:10,970 --> 00:58:13,029 I'm still tired of being the fat guy. 1036 00:58:13,072 --> 00:58:14,630 Come on, Pat. You're cool. 1037 00:58:14,673 --> 00:58:16,106 Everybody knows that. 1038 00:58:16,142 --> 00:58:18,633 I feel cool. 1039 00:58:18,677 --> 00:58:22,238 Being humiliated by that psycho today was pretty cool. 1040 00:58:22,281 --> 00:58:23,942 Oh, yeah. 1041 00:58:23,983 --> 00:58:26,281 I've been a lot of help to you guys. 1042 00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:31,055 At least you stood up to him. 1043 00:58:34,827 --> 00:58:36,761 Nobody else had the guts to. 1044 00:58:38,430 --> 00:58:40,227 We should've backed you up. 1045 00:58:41,934 --> 00:58:45,734 When are we going to start sticking up for ourselves? 1046 00:58:49,141 --> 00:58:53,271 Now, Gerry. How about right now? 1047 00:58:53,312 --> 00:58:56,713 Yeah. Let's go get everybody and kick his ass! 1048 00:58:56,749 --> 00:58:59,411 Yeah! Hold it. Whoa, whoa. 1049 00:58:59,451 --> 00:59:01,078 We got to be smart here. 1050 00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:02,781 There's some proper channels to go through... 1051 00:59:02,821 --> 00:59:05,551 but you get those guys through the hike tomorrow. 1052 00:59:05,591 --> 00:59:07,286 I'll do everything I can back here. 1053 00:59:07,326 --> 00:59:08,884 You be the leader now, Captain. 1054 00:59:08,928 --> 00:59:11,624 He is one, we are many. 1055 00:59:11,664 --> 00:59:12,926 His days are numbered. 1056 00:59:12,965 --> 00:59:15,729 - He's not so tough. - Yeah! 1057 00:59:18,904 --> 00:59:22,237 This is the day we separate the men from the boys. 1058 00:59:24,210 --> 00:59:27,111 Hightail it back to camp, Lars. It'll be a rough one. 1059 00:59:27,146 --> 00:59:30,638 I don't want to see any slackers or hear any whiners. 1060 00:59:30,683 --> 00:59:33,914 There'll be no food. This is a cleansing hike. 1061 00:59:33,953 --> 00:59:37,753 Just Father Sky, Mother Earth... 1062 00:59:37,790 --> 00:59:39,815 and your dear old Uncle Tony. 1063 00:59:48,567 --> 00:59:52,264 Use the swatting motion as an isometric exercise. 1064 00:59:53,739 --> 00:59:56,674 My dogs are killing me. 1065 00:59:56,709 --> 00:59:59,200 Gosh, somebody going to die today. 1066 00:59:59,245 --> 01:00:00,610 Call 911. 1067 01:00:00,646 --> 01:00:02,944 Did you ever hear the story of Icarus... 1068 01:00:02,982 --> 01:00:06,110 who continually rolled the ball up the hill? 1069 01:00:06,151 --> 01:00:08,085 But when he got too close... 1070 01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:11,385 the ball melted in the heat of the sun. 1071 01:00:11,423 --> 01:00:13,755 You're all like Icarus. 1072 01:00:17,896 --> 01:00:20,387 Aah! Aah! 1073 01:00:27,806 --> 01:00:29,000 - Whoa! - Aah! 1074 01:00:29,041 --> 01:00:31,009 Thank you, Gerry. 1075 01:00:43,322 --> 01:00:45,722 Uhh! 1076 01:00:46,959 --> 01:00:49,189 Get up, Cody. 1077 01:00:49,228 --> 01:00:51,924 Leave him. He's a straggler. 1078 01:00:51,964 --> 01:00:55,491 Stragglers must be left to fend for themselves. 1079 01:00:55,534 --> 01:00:57,024 I was. 1080 01:00:57,069 --> 01:00:58,969 Get up, Cody. We need to go. 1081 01:01:01,273 --> 01:01:03,002 Did you talk to Child Welfare? 1082 01:01:03,042 --> 01:01:05,875 They'd be glad to come out and investigate... 1083 01:01:05,911 --> 01:01:08,345 but they can't come for two weeks. 1084 01:01:08,380 --> 01:01:11,110 That's too long. What did your lawyer buddy say? 1085 01:01:11,150 --> 01:01:13,914 It's dicey. We don't have any hard evidence. 1086 01:01:13,952 --> 01:01:16,386 Tony's the hard evidence. Just look at him. 1087 01:01:16,422 --> 01:01:18,185 That's what the lawyer said. 1088 01:01:18,223 --> 01:01:22,159 - So we have nothing. - Basically. 1089 01:01:22,194 --> 01:01:25,789 You guys seen Tony? 1090 01:01:25,831 --> 01:01:30,097 That moron owes me 600 bucks. I'll kill that guy. 1091 01:01:30,135 --> 01:01:33,002 Busting my ass around here for nothing. 1092 01:01:41,580 --> 01:01:43,514 Feel the chi. 1093 01:01:52,124 --> 01:01:54,524 Repulse the monkey. 1094 01:01:59,498 --> 01:02:04,902 Part the wild horse's mane. 1095 01:02:04,937 --> 01:02:06,131 I say we push him. 1096 01:02:06,171 --> 01:02:08,969 No jury in the world could convict us. 1097 01:02:10,309 --> 01:02:11,742 Strike the chi. 1098 01:02:11,777 --> 01:02:15,907 No. Too messy. We can do better. 1099 01:02:22,388 --> 01:02:23,821 Great. 1100 01:02:23,856 --> 01:02:26,848 You've all done much better than expected... 1101 01:02:26,892 --> 01:02:28,985 so I've got a little surprise for you. 1102 01:02:29,027 --> 01:02:31,359 I've decided to extend the hike indefinitely. 1103 01:02:31,397 --> 01:02:33,024 - What? - That's right. 1104 01:02:33,065 --> 01:02:34,259 You won't return to camp... 1105 01:02:34,299 --> 01:02:35,823 Until you're in the leanest, meanest... 1106 01:02:35,868 --> 01:02:38,359 bestest shape of your short lives... 1107 01:02:38,404 --> 01:02:40,167 with one goal in mind-- 1108 01:02:40,205 --> 01:02:44,471 to defeat Camp MVP in the Apache Relay. 1109 01:02:44,510 --> 01:02:46,774 Quite the ending to a late-night infomercial, hmm? 1110 01:02:46,812 --> 01:02:49,645 We don't want to play MVP. We want to have fun. 1111 01:02:49,681 --> 01:02:51,842 Yeah! 1112 01:02:51,884 --> 01:02:54,148 Cody wants to have fun. 1113 01:02:54,186 --> 01:02:57,178 All right, Cody, let's have some fun. 1114 01:03:00,592 --> 01:03:02,389 Whee-ha! 1115 01:03:02,428 --> 01:03:04,259 - Oh, my-- - Whoa! 1116 01:03:04,296 --> 01:03:06,890 I'm on the top of the world! 1117 01:03:06,932 --> 01:03:11,869 Yeah! How's this for fun, Cody? 1118 01:03:11,904 --> 01:03:15,032 Sam? Why don't you come out and join me? 1119 01:03:15,073 --> 01:03:17,166 I'm on my way. 1120 01:03:17,209 --> 01:03:18,870 He's going to get us killed. 1121 01:03:18,911 --> 01:03:21,573 - We got to do something. - Yeah, but what? 1122 01:03:21,613 --> 01:03:23,513 What's that? I missed it. 1123 01:03:23,549 --> 01:03:29,385 I was just saying we need a little rest. 1124 01:03:29,421 --> 01:03:30,911 Good idea. 1125 01:03:30,956 --> 01:03:32,856 Let's take an hour meditation break. 1126 01:03:32,891 --> 01:03:34,825 Then we're going to climb that 1,000-foot rock face... 1127 01:03:34,860 --> 01:03:37,488 over there with our bare hands and feet. 1128 01:03:37,529 --> 01:03:39,497 I know you can do it. 1129 01:03:39,531 --> 01:03:42,989 Until then, observe the silence of the chi. 1130 01:03:46,939 --> 01:03:49,373 - Shoot. - Let's do something. 1131 01:03:49,408 --> 01:03:51,035 I don't know. 1132 01:03:51,076 --> 01:03:53,772 Ohmmmm... 1133 01:03:55,347 --> 01:03:57,838 - You're lying. - I don't believe in you. 1134 01:03:57,883 --> 01:04:01,882 You can't do it! 1135 01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:04,753 Hahh! Cripes. 1136 01:04:04,790 --> 01:04:08,419 What is all the commotion? 1137 01:04:08,460 --> 01:04:12,624 We realize we've been lazy, and we want to change. 1138 01:04:12,664 --> 01:04:15,633 It's time we all got our acts together, buddy. 1139 01:04:15,667 --> 01:04:18,101 Good! Good! 1140 01:04:18,136 --> 01:04:20,036 It's amazing what a little food deprivation... 1141 01:04:20,072 --> 01:04:21,869 can do to adjust your attitude, huh? 1142 01:04:21,907 --> 01:04:23,101 Can I ask you a question? 1143 01:04:23,141 --> 01:04:25,632 Go ahead, Roy. Ask away. 1144 01:04:25,677 --> 01:04:28,544 Is it possible to do a sit-up if you can't see or hear? 1145 01:04:28,580 --> 01:04:31,413 Yes, Roy, it is possible. 1146 01:04:31,450 --> 01:04:34,613 Gerry says it's impossible. 1147 01:04:34,653 --> 01:04:37,383 Why don't we rock Gerry's world? 1148 01:04:37,422 --> 01:04:39,686 Come on. 1149 01:04:39,725 --> 01:04:42,455 Uncle Tony's going to do a little demo. 1150 01:04:44,162 --> 01:04:46,858 There are so many myths about the abdominal muscles. 1151 01:04:46,899 --> 01:04:48,992 I am happy to put this one to rest. 1152 01:04:49,034 --> 01:04:52,060 See, Gerry? I told you. 1153 01:04:52,104 --> 01:04:54,334 Now, remember, Uncle Tony... 1154 01:04:54,373 --> 01:04:55,772 don't get up till the count of three. 1155 01:04:55,807 --> 01:04:59,402 - I know the rules. - OK, good. 1156 01:04:59,444 --> 01:05:00,911 All right, everyone. Ready? 1157 01:05:00,946 --> 01:05:04,074 One, two, three! 1158 01:05:04,116 --> 01:05:05,447 Kiss my butt! 1159 01:05:05,484 --> 01:05:09,818 Oh, my! Oh, my! Haah! 1160 01:05:09,855 --> 01:05:11,345 Uhh! Uhh! 1161 01:05:11,390 --> 01:05:13,324 Pretty impressive stuff, huh, Tony? 1162 01:05:13,358 --> 01:05:14,985 You disgust me. 1163 01:05:15,027 --> 01:05:16,688 Come here! 1164 01:05:16,728 --> 01:05:19,219 Come here! Get out of my way! 1165 01:05:19,264 --> 01:05:20,424 What are we waiting for? 1166 01:05:20,465 --> 01:05:21,864 Come on! 1167 01:05:21,900 --> 01:05:23,595 Run, Josh! 1168 01:05:26,138 --> 01:05:28,265 Halt! 1169 01:05:28,307 --> 01:05:30,969 Run! Run! Go! 1170 01:05:31,009 --> 01:05:34,035 Ow! Ooh! Hamstring! 1171 01:05:34,079 --> 01:05:36,377 Well, congratulations. 1172 01:05:36,415 --> 01:05:38,349 You've just joined the 76% of Americans... 1173 01:05:38,383 --> 01:05:40,317 who forget to stretch before physical activity. 1174 01:05:40,352 --> 01:05:42,343 Aah! 1175 01:05:47,359 --> 01:05:48,951 Let me see. 1176 01:05:48,994 --> 01:05:51,019 Ohh... 1177 01:05:51,063 --> 01:05:54,624 Uhh. Uhh. 1178 01:05:54,666 --> 01:05:56,691 Gentlemen... 1179 01:05:56,735 --> 01:06:01,229 we've reached the point of no return. 1180 01:06:01,273 --> 01:06:02,831 Yeah! 1181 01:06:07,678 --> 01:06:09,839 The only problem is, Kenny wants a lot of money. 1182 01:06:09,881 --> 01:06:11,143 How much? 1183 01:06:11,182 --> 01:06:13,173 Much more than they pay camp counselors. 1184 01:06:13,217 --> 01:06:14,650 Great. Why don't we have a bake sale? 1185 01:06:14,685 --> 01:06:16,949 What are you doing back already? 1186 01:06:16,988 --> 01:06:19,149 Where's the other guys? You OK? 1187 01:06:19,190 --> 01:06:20,521 I'm fine, I'm fine. 1188 01:06:20,558 --> 01:06:24,358 Good. We're still working on a plan to get rid of Tony. 1189 01:06:24,395 --> 01:06:25,589 Wait till you hear what we got. 1190 01:06:25,630 --> 01:06:26,824 That's great, guys... 1191 01:06:26,864 --> 01:06:29,264 but we came up with a plan of our own. 1192 01:06:29,300 --> 01:06:31,598 That is so cute. 1193 01:06:31,636 --> 01:06:34,696 Whatever. Come with me. 1194 01:06:41,479 --> 01:06:43,640 I have got a bad feeling. 1195 01:06:43,681 --> 01:06:46,479 Just try to stay open-minded. 1196 01:06:50,154 --> 01:06:53,419 - Password, please? - Yankee doodles. 1197 01:06:58,029 --> 01:06:59,792 Oh, good God. 1198 01:06:59,831 --> 01:07:02,356 Ooh! Uhh! 1199 01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:04,027 This is unbelievable. 1200 01:07:04,068 --> 01:07:05,933 So, what was your plan? 1201 01:07:05,970 --> 01:07:07,995 What do you think you're doing? 1202 01:07:08,039 --> 01:07:09,631 Taking over the camp. 1203 01:07:09,674 --> 01:07:12,370 - Oh, good God! - This is insane! 1204 01:07:12,410 --> 01:07:13,775 This is great. 1205 01:07:13,811 --> 01:07:15,779 Pat, you know what? He snapped. 1206 01:07:15,813 --> 01:07:17,440 He was swinging from a branch. 1207 01:07:17,482 --> 01:07:20,178 He was going to make us climb a mountain. 1208 01:07:20,218 --> 01:07:22,015 Guys, you can't kidnap the owner of a camp. 1209 01:07:22,053 --> 01:07:24,214 They give people the chair for this. 1210 01:07:24,255 --> 01:07:26,120 It was self-defense. You got to believe us. 1211 01:07:26,157 --> 01:07:27,749 I believe you. 1212 01:07:27,792 --> 01:07:30,260 This ends right now. 1213 01:07:30,294 --> 01:07:32,762 Get out of my way, Simms. 1214 01:07:32,797 --> 01:07:35,027 Yankee doodles. 1215 01:07:36,767 --> 01:07:39,827 Tony, I'm so sorry. I'll untie you right away. 1216 01:07:39,871 --> 01:07:42,738 Uhh! Thank you. 1217 01:07:42,773 --> 01:07:46,140 When this is all over, I'm going to deliver... 1218 01:07:46,177 --> 01:07:47,667 one well-placed kick to your groin... 1219 01:07:47,712 --> 01:07:49,304 that'll stop you from ever having children... 1220 01:07:49,347 --> 01:07:50,678 you worthless piece of-- 1221 01:07:50,715 --> 01:07:54,617 Are these ropes tight enough? We can get more. 1222 01:07:54,652 --> 01:07:58,418 I was going to help you out, but now... 1223 01:07:58,456 --> 01:08:00,253 I have to take you down. 1224 01:08:00,291 --> 01:08:02,282 - All right! - Yeah! Go! 1225 01:08:02,326 --> 01:08:05,420 I always wanted to say that to somebody. 1226 01:08:05,463 --> 01:08:08,227 Guys, it looks like we have to play this out. 1227 01:08:08,266 --> 01:08:10,826 I think there might be a way out of this... 1228 01:08:10,868 --> 01:08:12,130 but if we're going to succeed... 1229 01:08:12,169 --> 01:08:14,899 we have to stick together and work as a team. 1230 01:08:14,939 --> 01:08:16,600 Uhh! 1231 01:08:18,543 --> 01:08:20,374 I'll see you all in hell! 1232 01:08:20,411 --> 01:08:22,208 Oh! 1233 01:08:22,246 --> 01:08:24,476 With all the bears in these woods, Lars... 1234 01:08:24,515 --> 01:08:27,973 I doubt that you'll be seeing much of anything. 1235 01:08:28,019 --> 01:08:32,012 - Bears love honey. - Honey? 1236 01:08:32,056 --> 01:08:34,524 Chipmunks, move out. 1237 01:08:34,559 --> 01:08:37,824 Lars, have a nice summer. 1238 01:08:37,862 --> 01:08:41,229 - I didn't mean it. - Heh heh heh! 1239 01:08:41,265 --> 01:08:42,789 I'm sorry. I... 1240 01:08:42,833 --> 01:08:44,960 Ow! 1241 01:08:45,002 --> 01:08:46,970 Aah! I hate you! 1242 01:08:47,004 --> 01:08:49,097 You're awful! 1243 01:08:49,140 --> 01:08:51,267 Please help me! 1244 01:08:51,309 --> 01:08:52,867 I have candy. 1245 01:08:52,910 --> 01:08:55,174 Candy. 1246 01:08:55,212 --> 01:08:58,443 Good boy. You've come to free me. 1247 01:08:58,482 --> 01:09:00,006 Ohh! 1248 01:09:03,254 --> 01:09:04,619 Think we're going a little too far here, guys? 1249 01:09:04,655 --> 01:09:08,182 No, man. There are no bears in these woods. 1250 01:09:08,225 --> 01:09:12,093 Aah! Aah! 1251 01:09:12,129 --> 01:09:14,427 No bears, huh? 1252 01:09:14,465 --> 01:09:17,491 Aah! 1253 01:09:20,938 --> 01:09:22,496 Help me! 1254 01:09:22,540 --> 01:09:26,067 Don't you have any decency? Help me! 1255 01:09:30,381 --> 01:09:31,780 Look at the little deer. 1256 01:09:31,816 --> 01:09:35,411 Mr. Deer, I am a vegetarian. 1257 01:10:02,079 --> 01:10:05,947 Yeah! 1258 01:10:09,720 --> 01:10:11,187 Wake up, Tony. 1259 01:10:11,222 --> 01:10:13,281 Tonight is Evaluation Night. 1260 01:10:13,324 --> 01:10:15,417 The key word here is "value." 1261 01:10:15,459 --> 01:10:17,120 Do you have any? 1262 01:10:17,161 --> 01:10:19,459 No way, because you're a loser-- 1263 01:10:19,497 --> 01:10:21,692 a loser with a skinny wiener. 1264 01:10:21,732 --> 01:10:24,963 So, relax... and repeat after me. 1265 01:10:25,002 --> 01:10:26,799 I am a loser. 1266 01:10:26,837 --> 01:10:28,566 I smell. 1267 01:10:28,606 --> 01:10:31,006 I have no friends. 1268 01:10:31,042 --> 01:10:32,236 Now breathe and relax. 1269 01:10:32,276 --> 01:10:35,712 Please, shut that off! 1270 01:10:38,916 --> 01:10:40,349 Ohh! 1271 01:10:40,384 --> 01:10:42,909 - Whoa! - Whoa! 1272 01:10:42,953 --> 01:10:45,012 Wow! 1273 01:10:57,501 --> 01:10:58,695 All right! 1274 01:11:05,142 --> 01:11:07,167 Thank you very much for stopping on by. 1275 01:11:07,211 --> 01:11:09,702 Pass it on by. I'll take one of those. 1276 01:11:09,747 --> 01:11:12,215 Party! Yeah! 1277 01:11:12,249 --> 01:11:16,117 Oh, my gosh. Is that Tim? 1278 01:11:16,153 --> 01:11:17,984 Whoo-hoo! 1279 01:11:19,890 --> 01:11:22,620 He looks like a human s'more. 1280 01:11:22,660 --> 01:11:26,653 Look at that food. I should get down there. 1281 01:11:26,697 --> 01:11:28,995 No, Pat, don't go. 1282 01:11:31,869 --> 01:11:34,235 Stay here with me. 1283 01:11:35,272 --> 01:11:38,730 - Aah! - Shut up. 1284 01:11:38,776 --> 01:11:41,574 Hey, Lars, guess what? We're in charge now. 1285 01:11:41,612 --> 01:11:43,045 Know what we found out? 1286 01:11:43,080 --> 01:11:46,641 If you don't have a job, you get deported... 1287 01:11:46,684 --> 01:11:49,346 so, Lars, buddy, pal... 1288 01:11:49,386 --> 01:11:52,287 you with us, or are you against us? 1289 01:11:52,323 --> 01:11:55,520 I am with you. 1290 01:11:55,559 --> 01:11:57,459 I love you. 1291 01:12:02,633 --> 01:12:04,863 I thought they were supposed to be on diets. 1292 01:12:04,902 --> 01:12:06,062 I think they're cheating. 1293 01:12:37,768 --> 01:12:41,761 Good God! Can anybody hear me? 1294 01:13:11,735 --> 01:13:14,727 Excuse me. 1295 01:13:30,554 --> 01:13:33,455 Time to wake up, children. 1296 01:13:33,490 --> 01:13:34,855 Good morning! 1297 01:13:34,892 --> 01:13:37,656 Huh? Huh? 1298 01:13:40,731 --> 01:13:43,359 Who wants to tell us the lesson we learned here? 1299 01:13:43,400 --> 01:13:45,960 Don't put Twinkies on your pizza. 1300 01:13:46,003 --> 01:13:48,801 No. I think what we learned here... 1301 01:13:48,839 --> 01:13:52,331 is something about personal responsibility. 1302 01:13:52,376 --> 01:13:54,367 From now on, each of us... 1303 01:13:54,411 --> 01:13:56,845 is in charge of their own diets. 1304 01:13:56,881 --> 01:13:59,111 We have to learn some self-control. 1305 01:13:59,149 --> 01:14:02,312 Isn't that right, Tim? 1306 01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:06,387 You got it. I'm ashamed of all of you. 1307 01:14:06,423 --> 01:14:08,015 Come on! 1308 01:14:08,058 --> 01:14:10,618 We got to get healthy for ourselves. 1309 01:14:10,661 --> 01:14:12,629 If we'd start respecting ourselves... 1310 01:14:12,663 --> 01:14:14,324 no one can touch us. 1311 01:14:14,365 --> 01:14:17,027 That's right. You heard me. 1312 01:14:17,067 --> 01:14:18,500 We're as good as anybody... 1313 01:14:18,535 --> 01:14:21,060 and it's about time we started acting that way. 1314 01:14:21,105 --> 01:14:22,265 We got to take control of ourselves... 1315 01:14:22,306 --> 01:14:24,331 before we take control of this camp. 1316 01:14:24,375 --> 01:14:25,842 Who's with me? 1317 01:14:25,876 --> 01:14:28,037 Who wants to do this thing right? 1318 01:14:29,079 --> 01:14:30,478 It's up to you. 1319 01:14:38,222 --> 01:14:39,883 I will. 1320 01:14:56,707 --> 01:14:59,369 - Everybody ready? - Yeah! 1321 01:14:59,410 --> 01:15:01,935 OK, let's go! 1322 01:15:07,918 --> 01:15:11,012 Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable? 1323 01:15:11,055 --> 01:15:13,023 - Fruit. - That's right. 1324 01:15:13,057 --> 01:15:17,357 Today, we're going to make pasta primavera. 1325 01:15:42,453 --> 01:15:44,819 Hey, how you doing? 1326 01:15:49,526 --> 01:15:52,495 - There he is. - Hey, I'm over here! 1327 01:15:52,529 --> 01:15:55,293 Gerry! Oh! 1328 01:15:55,332 --> 01:15:59,393 Hey, big guy. Look at you. 1329 01:15:59,436 --> 01:16:01,904 - You look the same. - I feel good. 1330 01:16:01,939 --> 01:16:05,272 That's important, too. 1331 01:16:05,309 --> 01:16:06,708 So? 1332 01:16:06,744 --> 01:16:09,542 Come with me. I'll take you around. 1333 01:16:09,580 --> 01:16:12,572 - He hasn't lost a pound. - Oh, Maury. 1334 01:16:18,856 --> 01:16:21,791 Don't be frightened, Nicholas. 1335 01:16:21,825 --> 01:16:23,816 I'm a beaten man. 1336 01:16:45,282 --> 01:16:47,477 Good afternoon, everyone. 1337 01:16:47,518 --> 01:16:50,214 Good afternoon. I'm Pat Finley. 1338 01:16:50,254 --> 01:16:51,653 You probably recognize me... 1339 01:16:51,688 --> 01:16:53,849 from my work in the Camp Hope promotional video. 1340 01:16:53,891 --> 01:16:57,657 Right now, I'd like to play another video... 1341 01:16:57,694 --> 01:17:00,128 to show you people just what it's been like... 1342 01:17:00,164 --> 01:17:01,961 so far this summer. 1343 01:17:01,999 --> 01:17:04,399 This'll be great. 1344 01:17:04,434 --> 01:17:06,994 Enjoy. 1345 01:17:12,109 --> 01:17:14,202 Aah! 1346 01:17:15,679 --> 01:17:18,204 Die! Yaah! 1347 01:17:20,017 --> 01:17:21,450 As a health care professional... 1348 01:17:21,485 --> 01:17:23,316 I would like to take this opportunity... 1349 01:17:23,353 --> 01:17:25,480 to warn you that Tony Perkis's program... 1350 01:17:25,522 --> 01:17:29,891 is not only ineffective, it's downright dangerous. 1351 01:17:32,596 --> 01:17:36,997 # Everywhere I go, I'm late # 1352 01:17:37,034 --> 01:17:38,729 My grandma runs faster than you... 1353 01:17:38,769 --> 01:17:40,862 and she's only got one leg! 1354 01:17:40,904 --> 01:17:42,735 Say it one more time, because it'll multiply. 1355 01:17:42,773 --> 01:17:45,105 - 40 push-ups? - 60! Down! Now! 1356 01:17:45,142 --> 01:17:46,609 - 80! - I can't-- 1357 01:17:46,643 --> 01:17:49,373 He is strict. 1358 01:18:01,291 --> 01:18:03,759 Kiss the ground, joker boy. 1359 01:18:03,794 --> 01:18:06,763 Would you get your foot off my back? 1360 01:18:06,797 --> 01:18:09,061 Now you see what we've been dealing with. 1361 01:18:09,099 --> 01:18:12,034 Why didn't you tell us about this? 1362 01:18:26,450 --> 01:18:28,475 You've been a good guard, Nicholas-- 1363 01:18:28,518 --> 01:18:30,543 strong and fair. 1364 01:18:30,587 --> 01:18:34,887 Your queen would be proud. 1365 01:18:34,925 --> 01:18:40,022 I'd like to reward you with this chocolate kiss. 1366 01:18:46,603 --> 01:18:48,127 Oh! 1367 01:18:48,171 --> 01:18:49,502 Yeah! 1368 01:18:49,539 --> 01:18:52,599 Where have you been all my life? 1369 01:18:52,643 --> 01:18:54,611 I'm going to love this. 1370 01:18:54,645 --> 01:18:56,772 Oh, my God. I'm going to be sick. 1371 01:18:56,813 --> 01:18:57,973 Nice touch. 1372 01:18:58,015 --> 01:19:00,279 I thought I'd spice it up a little. 1373 01:19:00,317 --> 01:19:03,252 It gives you that warm feeling inside? 1374 01:19:03,287 --> 01:19:05,084 Throw it over. 1375 01:19:05,122 --> 01:19:07,317 But it would smush. 1376 01:19:07,357 --> 01:19:09,518 That wouldn't be good. 1377 01:19:11,662 --> 01:19:14,529 No dinner, no lunch, no breakfast. 1378 01:19:14,564 --> 01:19:16,964 How's that grab you? 1379 01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:19,798 Take the candy. 1380 01:19:21,738 --> 01:19:24,798 Nice and chocolatey. 1381 01:19:24,841 --> 01:19:27,776 Chocolicious. 1382 01:19:27,811 --> 01:19:30,439 Whoops. 1383 01:19:30,480 --> 01:19:32,175 Butterfingers. 1384 01:19:36,153 --> 01:19:37,415 Aah! 1385 01:19:37,454 --> 01:19:39,081 Well, well... 1386 01:19:39,122 --> 01:19:42,057 looks like London bridge is falling down, huh? 1387 01:19:42,092 --> 01:19:43,320 Help! 1388 01:19:43,360 --> 01:19:44,588 How do you like the food here at Camp Hope? 1389 01:19:44,628 --> 01:19:45,822 It's good stuff. 1390 01:19:45,862 --> 01:19:47,887 Wait till I finish asking you the question. 1391 01:19:47,931 --> 01:19:49,455 Just say, "I love the food." 1392 01:19:49,499 --> 01:19:51,126 - I love the food. - Good. Here we go. 1393 01:19:51,168 --> 01:19:52,760 So, Josh, how do you like the food here? 1394 01:19:52,803 --> 01:19:53,997 I love the food. 1395 01:19:54,037 --> 01:19:55,698 Wait until I finish the question! 1396 01:19:55,739 --> 01:19:57,832 Damn! Forget it! 1397 01:19:57,874 --> 01:20:00,001 If he isn't stopped right away... 1398 01:20:00,043 --> 01:20:04,070 somebody's child-- maybe yours-- 1399 01:20:04,114 --> 01:20:06,048 will be hurt. 1400 01:20:06,083 --> 01:20:08,483 Ho ho ho ho ho! Yes! 1401 01:20:08,518 --> 01:20:12,750 That was wonderful! 1402 01:20:12,789 --> 01:20:14,723 Whoo! 1403 01:20:14,758 --> 01:20:17,591 So entertaining. 1404 01:20:17,627 --> 01:20:21,563 The cinematography, the editing techniques. 1405 01:20:21,598 --> 01:20:23,395 Though I must say... 1406 01:20:23,433 --> 01:20:28,370 the villain was a bit over the top. 1407 01:20:31,742 --> 01:20:35,405 Ouch. Everyone having fun? 1408 01:20:35,445 --> 01:20:37,504 Parents! 1409 01:20:37,547 --> 01:20:41,381 You're the cause of all my--their problems! 1410 01:20:41,418 --> 01:20:42,851 He escaped! 1411 01:20:42,886 --> 01:20:44,945 You little British butterball... 1412 01:20:44,988 --> 01:20:46,853 I ought to show you what it means to be an American! 1413 01:20:46,890 --> 01:20:48,881 Now you realize what we've been dealing with. 1414 01:20:48,925 --> 01:20:50,358 He has to be stopped! 1415 01:20:50,394 --> 01:20:53,488 Ho ho! Stop me, hmm? 1416 01:20:56,833 --> 01:21:00,496 Uhh! I'm too strong! 1417 01:21:00,537 --> 01:21:02,698 Uhh! Ah! 1418 01:21:02,739 --> 01:21:05,970 I'm too motivated! 1419 01:21:06,009 --> 01:21:09,308 And you're too weak! 1420 01:21:09,346 --> 01:21:12,474 Aah! Uhh! 1421 01:21:12,516 --> 01:21:14,814 Especially you, Garner, Gerald... 1422 01:21:14,851 --> 01:21:18,287 age 11, 141 pounds! 1423 01:21:18,321 --> 01:21:20,414 So, come on! You want a piece of me, Pops? 1424 01:21:20,457 --> 01:21:23,255 No one's taking this camp away from me! 1425 01:21:23,293 --> 01:21:26,057 Ooh! 1426 01:21:26,096 --> 01:21:29,896 I'm afraid you're wrong. You are through here. 1427 01:21:29,933 --> 01:21:32,800 - Are you OK? - I'm all right. 1428 01:21:32,836 --> 01:21:34,428 You have to take a stand. 1429 01:21:34,471 --> 01:21:37,338 Uhh! Guhh! 1430 01:21:38,575 --> 01:21:39,769 Oh! 1431 01:21:41,311 --> 01:21:45,543 Uhh! Ahh! 1432 01:21:54,090 --> 01:21:56,957 - We did it, Roy. - Yes, we did. 1433 01:21:59,296 --> 01:22:02,459 Sorry to ask you to deal with this, Mr. Perkis. 1434 01:22:02,499 --> 01:22:04,262 That kid was always a little off. 1435 01:22:04,301 --> 01:22:05,598 My parents didn't hug me. 1436 01:22:05,635 --> 01:22:08,103 You don't see me freaking out like a little baby. 1437 01:22:09,906 --> 01:22:11,874 I'm going to take a bath on this. 1438 01:22:11,908 --> 01:22:13,341 Listen, everybody... 1439 01:22:13,376 --> 01:22:15,742 don't freak out, don't call your lawyers. 1440 01:22:15,779 --> 01:22:17,041 We'll get you your money back. 1441 01:22:17,080 --> 01:22:18,809 We make nice, everybody's happy, 1442 01:22:18,849 --> 01:22:20,680 But for now, we close down the camp. 1443 01:22:20,717 --> 01:22:22,150 Everybody go home. 1444 01:22:22,185 --> 01:22:23,880 Have a nice summer. I got to get out of here. 1445 01:22:23,920 --> 01:22:27,549 I'd love to chat. Good luck to all of you. 1446 01:22:27,591 --> 01:22:29,559 - Say something. - Mr. Perkis, sir. 1447 01:22:29,593 --> 01:22:30,958 Papa. 1448 01:22:30,994 --> 01:22:34,623 Papa, we don't want to go home. 1449 01:22:34,664 --> 01:22:35,858 Wait a minute. 1450 01:22:35,899 --> 01:22:37,298 If you kids want to stick it out... 1451 01:22:37,334 --> 01:22:39,461 all I need to do is put an adult in charge-- 1452 01:22:39,503 --> 01:22:43,963 put it on the responsibility clause for the insurance. 1453 01:22:44,007 --> 01:22:46,339 Who's been here the longest? 1454 01:22:46,376 --> 01:22:50,039 - Four years. - One year. 1455 01:22:50,080 --> 01:22:51,274 - Two. - Four years. 1456 01:22:51,314 --> 01:22:52,872 - Three. - Five. 1457 01:22:52,916 --> 01:22:55,316 Eighteen years. 1458 01:22:55,352 --> 01:22:57,081 Eighteen? 1459 01:22:57,120 --> 01:22:59,315 - Whoa. - 18 years. 1460 01:22:59,356 --> 01:23:01,688 What the hell have you been doing with yourself? 1461 01:23:01,725 --> 01:23:04,387 Are you up to it? 1462 01:23:06,663 --> 01:23:08,654 Pat. Pat. 1463 01:23:08,698 --> 01:23:12,099 Pat! Pat! Pat! 1464 01:23:18,975 --> 01:23:20,169 I'll sure try. 1465 01:23:20,210 --> 01:23:22,371 Hooray. Ooh, yeah, OK. 1466 01:23:22,412 --> 01:23:23,777 Congratulations. Here you go. 1467 01:23:23,813 --> 01:23:26,907 Do the hokey-pokey and knock yourself out. 1468 01:23:31,655 --> 01:23:32,815 All right, Pat. 1469 01:23:32,856 --> 01:23:34,653 Enjoy yourselves. You deserve it. 1470 01:23:35,759 --> 01:23:37,021 I'm proud of you. 1471 01:23:42,599 --> 01:23:44,624 Dear Grandma... 1472 01:23:44,667 --> 01:23:46,635 things have really turned around at camp. 1473 01:23:46,736 --> 01:23:49,102 We're finally having a great time. 1474 01:23:49,138 --> 01:23:51,299 Uhh! 1475 01:23:51,341 --> 01:23:53,536 Whoo! 1476 01:23:53,576 --> 01:23:56,807 Yee-haw! 1477 01:23:59,249 --> 01:24:02,150 We're in control, and we like it. 1478 01:24:02,185 --> 01:24:04,983 We're putting things back to the way they were... 1479 01:24:05,021 --> 01:24:07,455 and no one is going to mess it up again. 1480 01:24:11,060 --> 01:24:13,620 Hey, Chris. 1481 01:24:13,663 --> 01:24:16,063 Where's the motor, man? 1482 01:24:16,099 --> 01:24:17,691 With Pat in charge... 1483 01:24:17,734 --> 01:24:19,998 we are united, and we are strong. 1484 01:24:20,036 --> 01:24:21,264 Can I get that wrench, Phillip? 1485 01:24:21,304 --> 01:24:23,704 Thank you. Josh, how we doing? 1486 01:24:23,740 --> 01:24:25,901 Got a bent axle over here. 1487 01:24:25,942 --> 01:24:27,409 We can do anything... 1488 01:24:27,443 --> 01:24:31,504 even take on Camp MVP in the Apache Relay. 1489 01:24:31,547 --> 01:24:34,482 And we can win--I think. 1490 01:24:34,517 --> 01:24:36,280 Welcome, everybody... 1491 01:24:36,319 --> 01:24:39,220 to the 33rd Annual Apache Relay games-- 1492 01:24:39,255 --> 01:24:41,621 the favorites, Camp MVP... 1493 01:24:41,658 --> 01:24:44,559 versus the perennial losers, Camp Hope. 1494 01:24:44,594 --> 01:24:47,427 This relay today will consist of three parts-- 1495 01:24:47,463 --> 01:24:50,830 an obstacle course, the Hall of Intelligence... 1496 01:24:50,867 --> 01:24:52,858 and the Grand Prix. 1497 01:24:52,902 --> 01:24:55,200 May the best team win. 1498 01:24:55,238 --> 01:24:57,297 All right, Cody, give it your best shot. 1499 01:24:57,340 --> 01:24:59,035 Put a little pizzazz in it. 1500 01:24:59,075 --> 01:25:02,044 On your mark, get set... 1501 01:25:12,055 --> 01:25:13,886 Get up, get up! 1502 01:25:17,994 --> 01:25:19,393 Uhh! 1503 01:25:19,429 --> 01:25:21,488 Looks like an MVP romp again, folks. 1504 01:25:23,533 --> 01:25:24,795 Uhh! 1505 01:25:26,235 --> 01:25:29,363 Go, go, go! 1506 01:25:47,890 --> 01:25:49,482 Here, take it! 1507 01:25:49,525 --> 01:25:55,486 Whoa! 1508 01:25:55,531 --> 01:25:58,398 Keep going. You got it, man. Yeah. 1509 01:25:58,434 --> 01:26:00,595 It's just a couple more. 1510 01:26:00,636 --> 01:26:02,001 Come on. 1511 01:26:03,573 --> 01:26:05,040 Up. All right, here. 1512 01:26:05,074 --> 01:26:07,269 OK. All right. Ready? 1513 01:26:07,310 --> 01:26:08,675 Uhh! 1514 01:26:14,617 --> 01:26:15,914 Yeah! 1515 01:26:18,287 --> 01:26:21,745 - Aww. - Give me the balloon. 1516 01:26:21,791 --> 01:26:26,524 All right. You can do it. It's easy. 1517 01:26:26,562 --> 01:26:28,894 - Yeah! - Yeah! 1518 01:26:35,271 --> 01:26:36,636 I know you thought we'd get creamed... 1519 01:26:36,672 --> 01:26:40,768 but I don't think you'll get creamed riding this. 1520 01:26:40,810 --> 01:26:42,368 Whoa! 1521 01:26:42,412 --> 01:26:44,676 Did a little work on the motor. 1522 01:26:44,714 --> 01:26:45,874 Whoa. 1523 01:26:45,915 --> 01:26:48,440 You better take that feather off. 1524 01:26:48,484 --> 01:26:51,647 I don't think it'll fit under this. 1525 01:26:53,990 --> 01:26:56,584 Camp MVP is setting a course record... 1526 01:26:56,626 --> 01:26:59,060 as they move into the Hall of Intelligence. 1527 01:27:06,302 --> 01:27:07,735 Solve the equation. 1528 01:27:07,770 --> 01:27:09,294 - 55. - No. 1529 01:27:09,338 --> 01:27:11,238 - 17? - Nein. 1530 01:27:11,274 --> 01:27:12,434 Nine is the answer? 1531 01:27:12,475 --> 01:27:14,500 "Nein" is German for "no." 1532 01:27:18,114 --> 01:27:19,979 Artist and title, please. 1533 01:27:20,016 --> 01:27:21,415 Cher? 1534 01:27:23,086 --> 01:27:24,314 No. 1535 01:27:24,353 --> 01:27:26,913 Solve the equation. 1536 01:27:28,724 --> 01:27:29,918 Eleven. 1537 01:27:29,959 --> 01:27:32,985 Wunderbar. You may advance. 1538 01:27:33,029 --> 01:27:36,260 You must now name five American vice presidents. 1539 01:27:36,299 --> 01:27:38,358 Quayle. 1540 01:27:38,401 --> 01:27:40,528 - George Washington. - No. 1541 01:27:40,570 --> 01:27:43,971 - Quayle. - You said that already. 1542 01:27:44,006 --> 01:27:45,871 Cher? 1543 01:27:45,908 --> 01:27:47,671 Da Vinci's "Mona Lisa." 1544 01:27:47,710 --> 01:27:50,474 Van Gogh's "Houses at Auvers." 1545 01:27:50,513 --> 01:27:54,108 Botticelli's "La Primavera." 1546 01:27:54,150 --> 01:27:55,412 Over at the Hall of Intelligence... 1547 01:27:55,451 --> 01:27:57,817 Camp Hope has almost caught up to Camp MVP. 1548 01:27:57,854 --> 01:27:59,185 Can you believe it? 1549 01:27:59,222 --> 01:28:01,122 This is going to be quite some finish, folks. 1550 01:28:01,157 --> 01:28:03,022 Right is gas, left is brake. 1551 01:28:04,861 --> 01:28:07,193 - Alexander Haig? - Sorry. 1552 01:28:07,230 --> 01:28:10,427 - Caught you. - Shut up. 1553 01:28:10,466 --> 01:28:13,526 Nicholas, name five American vice presidents. 1554 01:28:13,569 --> 01:28:16,367 Levi P. Morton, John Calhoun... 1555 01:28:16,405 --> 01:28:19,135 Hubert Humphrey, Spiro Agnew... 1556 01:28:19,175 --> 01:28:20,699 Walter Mondale. 1557 01:28:20,743 --> 01:28:22,904 That's perfect. You may advance. 1558 01:28:22,945 --> 01:28:26,142 You Americans have no sense of history. 1559 01:28:26,182 --> 01:28:28,514 Home stretch! Go, go! 1560 01:28:28,551 --> 01:28:30,576 Accelerate into the turns. Don't forget. 1561 01:28:30,620 --> 01:28:31,917 Use your weight. Lean into them. 1562 01:28:31,954 --> 01:28:34,889 Be careful. This guy drives dirty. 1563 01:28:34,924 --> 01:28:37,222 - Thanks, Pat. - Go get 'em. 1564 01:28:41,397 --> 01:28:43,729 Nicholas! 1565 01:28:45,868 --> 01:28:47,665 Come on! 1566 01:28:50,540 --> 01:28:52,872 I don't want to put any pressure on you, Big Al... 1567 01:28:52,909 --> 01:28:56,242 but we have never lost this race, all right? 1568 01:28:58,147 --> 01:29:00,308 Don't forget your wings, man. 1569 01:29:02,919 --> 01:29:04,978 Take 'em down, Captain. 1570 01:29:40,656 --> 01:29:42,920 Yeah! Ah ha! 1571 01:29:47,029 --> 01:29:49,793 Hey! Back off! 1572 01:29:51,334 --> 01:29:53,234 Whoa! 1573 01:29:53,269 --> 01:29:55,203 Ha ha! So long, sucker! 1574 01:29:55,238 --> 01:29:57,229 Whoa! Aah! 1575 01:29:59,508 --> 01:30:01,339 Uhh! 1576 01:30:03,346 --> 01:30:05,678 Oh, shoot! 1577 01:30:05,715 --> 01:30:07,512 Come on! 1578 01:30:19,462 --> 01:30:21,487 Oh, no! Oh! 1579 01:30:35,411 --> 01:30:38,175 Go, Gerry. They're coming! 1580 01:30:38,214 --> 01:30:40,011 All right, all right. 1581 01:30:42,752 --> 01:30:44,617 Go! Go, Gerry! 1582 01:30:49,859 --> 01:30:52,327 Hey! Come on! 1583 01:30:52,361 --> 01:30:55,956 - Come on! - No! 1584 01:31:06,342 --> 01:31:07,570 Unh! 1585 01:31:10,379 --> 01:31:11,573 He's still behind! 1586 01:31:13,883 --> 01:31:15,350 He can't pass! 1587 01:31:18,387 --> 01:31:19,854 Come on! Unh! 1588 01:31:19,889 --> 01:31:21,652 No way! 1589 01:31:21,691 --> 01:31:23,921 Come on, Captain! Come on, baby! 1590 01:31:40,843 --> 01:31:42,037 Ohhh. 1591 01:31:47,450 --> 01:31:51,443 Oooooooh! 1592 01:31:56,392 --> 01:31:58,587 Aah! Yeah! 1593 01:31:58,627 --> 01:31:59,924 Oh! 1594 01:32:09,605 --> 01:32:11,630 All right, Gerry! 1595 01:32:11,674 --> 01:32:15,269 - I flew, Pat! - I know! 1596 01:32:15,311 --> 01:32:16,835 Hip-hip hooray! 1597 01:32:16,879 --> 01:32:20,542 Hip-hip hooray! Hip-hip hooray! 1598 01:32:26,789 --> 01:32:29,189 - Yeah! - All right! 1599 01:32:31,861 --> 01:32:35,729 You'll be happy to know that we're filing a formal protest. 1600 01:32:35,765 --> 01:32:37,232 That cup belongs to us. 1601 01:32:37,266 --> 01:32:39,928 Oh, the cup? This is what you want? 1602 01:32:39,969 --> 01:32:42,233 This is what your life is all about, Chris? 1603 01:32:42,271 --> 01:32:45,138 I tell you what, I'll airmail it... 1604 01:32:45,174 --> 01:32:46,539 back to camp for you, all right? 1605 01:32:46,575 --> 01:32:48,736 Take care of that, Simms? 1606 01:32:56,018 --> 01:32:58,350 You're crazy! 1607 01:32:58,387 --> 01:32:59,615 You bet I'm crazy. 1608 01:32:59,655 --> 01:33:01,623 Come on! Get that cup! 1609 01:33:01,657 --> 01:33:04,148 - Oh! - Crazy about my gal. 1610 01:33:04,193 --> 01:33:07,287 Whoo! 1611 01:33:14,904 --> 01:33:16,269 Whoo! 1612 01:33:20,376 --> 01:33:21,968 Hey, Pat... 1613 01:33:22,011 --> 01:33:24,343 thanks for the best damn summer of my life! 1614 01:33:24,380 --> 01:33:26,143 Same here, Captain. 1615 01:33:27,583 --> 01:33:29,073 Whoo! 1616 01:33:37,659 --> 01:33:38,819 All right, guys! 1617 01:33:38,860 --> 01:33:41,385 Let's sing the inspiring Camp Hope song! 1618 01:33:42,697 --> 01:33:44,460 Aw, come on! Here we go! 1619 01:33:44,499 --> 01:33:47,229 # Camp Hope, Camp Hope, we sing to thee # 1620 01:33:47,269 --> 01:33:48,429 Come on, guys, sing! 1621 01:33:48,470 --> 01:33:50,062 # The greatest camp in history # 1622 01:33:50,105 --> 01:33:51,265 # A place for boys-- # 1623 01:33:51,306 --> 01:33:53,672 Come on, Tim, that song's boring. 1624 01:33:53,708 --> 01:33:54,868 Sing something cool. 1625 01:33:54,910 --> 01:33:56,673 You want to hear something cool? 1626 01:33:56,711 --> 01:33:58,975 OK, cats, let's rock it. 1627 01:34:02,851 --> 01:34:05,081 Yow...huh! 1628 01:34:06,955 --> 01:34:09,515 # Camp Hope, Camp Hope, the place for boys # 1629 01:34:09,558 --> 01:34:11,219 # We got no girls, we got no toys # 1630 01:34:11,259 --> 01:34:13,523 # The bunks are hard, the cabins hot # 1631 01:34:13,562 --> 01:34:15,689 # Last night, a snake crawled in my cot # 1632 01:34:15,730 --> 01:34:17,891 # Make sure the shower door is shut # 1633 01:34:17,933 --> 01:34:19,833 # Or else the 'squitos bite your butt # 1634 01:34:19,868 --> 01:34:22,029 # And don't swim past when your friends make # 1635 01:34:22,070 --> 01:34:23,833 # A warm spot in the lake # 1636 01:34:23,872 --> 01:34:26,033 All right, guys, you're getting the hang of it! 1637 01:34:26,074 --> 01:34:27,336 Come on! 1638 01:34:27,375 --> 01:34:29,343 # Camp Hope, Camp Hope, please give us food # 1639 01:34:29,377 --> 01:34:31,402 # We're starving in a rotten mood # 1640 01:34:31,446 --> 01:34:33,471 # But still we're hanging with our friends # 1641 01:34:33,515 --> 01:34:36,313 # So we hope summer never ends # 1642 01:34:36,351 --> 01:34:39,650 All right! Sounds good! Here we go! 1643 01:34:39,688 --> 01:34:43,488 # Here's a tip that you should try # 1644 01:34:43,525 --> 01:34:47,655 # If people laugh when you walk by # 1645 01:34:47,696 --> 01:34:51,826 # Just walk right up and proudly state # 1646 01:34:51,866 --> 01:34:56,030 # Hey, back off, Jack, I'm a heavyweight # 1647 01:34:56,071 --> 01:34:59,507 # Back off, Jack, we're all heavyweights # 1648 01:34:59,541 --> 01:35:01,907 All right, guys! Hey, look who's here! 1649 01:35:01,943 --> 01:35:04,070 # My name is Pat, And he's our pal # 1650 01:35:04,112 --> 01:35:06,171 # And I'm Nurse Julie, She's Pat's gal # 1651 01:35:06,214 --> 01:35:08,478 # You know I'm Tim, And we're his band # 1652 01:35:08,516 --> 01:35:10,984 # And I am Kenny the cameraman # 1653 01:35:11,019 --> 01:35:12,953 Stop! Stop that stupid song! 1654 01:35:12,988 --> 01:35:14,250 You call that music? 1655 01:35:14,289 --> 01:35:17,850 # I know you think you're all rock stars # 1656 01:35:17,892 --> 01:35:20,986 # But here's an oompah song from Lars # 1657 01:35:21,029 --> 01:35:23,725 # About my favorite Camp Hope job # 1658 01:35:23,765 --> 01:35:26,427 # The day that I harpooned the Blob # 1659 01:35:26,468 --> 01:35:29,164 # And just to make it very clear # 1660 01:35:29,204 --> 01:35:32,071 # I was not scared of that big deer # 1661 01:35:32,107 --> 01:35:34,735 # And although Tony is not here # 1662 01:35:34,776 --> 01:35:37,210 # I still enjoy Camp Hope # 1663 01:35:37,245 --> 01:35:39,338 Thanks, Lars. That's great. 1664 01:35:39,381 --> 01:35:41,315 All right, guys, you ready to take it home? 1665 01:35:41,349 --> 01:35:43,214 - Yeah! - Let's rock! 1666 01:35:43,251 --> 01:35:45,685 # Camp Hope, Camp Hope, we all had fun # 1667 01:35:45,720 --> 01:35:48,086 # And now our time here's almost done # 1668 01:35:48,123 --> 01:35:50,523 # But we'll come back again next year # 1669 01:35:50,558 --> 01:35:53,026 # Because our friends will all be here # 1670 01:35:53,061 --> 01:35:55,291 # And here's a tip that you should try # 1671 01:35:55,330 --> 01:35:57,696 # If people laugh when you walk by # 1672 01:35:57,732 --> 01:36:00,166 # Just walk right up and proudly state # 1673 01:36:00,201 --> 01:36:02,294 # Back off, Jack # 1674 01:36:02,337 --> 01:36:07,434 # I'm a heavyweight! # 1675 01:36:07,475 --> 01:36:10,842 All right, guys, that sounds great, yeah! 1676 01:36:10,879 --> 01:36:12,642 We got a bunch of heavyweights here? 1677 01:36:12,681 --> 01:36:14,046 Are you guys heavyweights? 1678 01:36:14,082 --> 01:36:16,949 I said, are you guys heavyweights? 1679 01:36:16,985 --> 01:36:18,179 Gerry, are you a heavyweight? 1680 01:36:18,219 --> 01:36:19,846 - Yeah! - All right, Gerry! 1681 01:36:19,888 --> 01:36:21,879 Now the rest of you guys! Are you all heavyweights? 1682 01:36:21,923 --> 01:36:23,083 Yeah! 1683 01:36:23,124 --> 01:36:25,354 Counselors, are we all heavyweights? 1684 01:36:25,393 --> 01:36:26,860 Yeah! We're heavyweights! 1685 01:36:26,895 --> 01:36:28,920 - Pat, are you heavyweight? - I'm a heavyweight! 1686 01:36:28,963 --> 01:36:30,430 Nurse Julie, are you a heavyweight? 1687 01:36:30,465 --> 01:36:31,727 I'm a heavyweight! 1688 01:36:31,766 --> 01:36:34,792 - Lars, are you a heavyweight? - I'm a heavyweight, Tim! 1689 01:36:34,836 --> 01:36:36,895 Kenny the cameraman, are you a heavyweight? 1690 01:36:36,938 --> 01:36:40,465 - Yes, I'm a heavyweight. - We're all heavyweights! 1691 01:36:40,508 --> 01:36:43,477 So, Lars, you think you're coming back next year? 1692 01:36:43,511 --> 01:36:45,706 I don't know, Tim. I live very far away. 1693 01:36:45,747 --> 01:36:47,180 We'll fly you in. 1694 01:36:47,215 --> 01:36:49,410 Kenny the cameraman, think you can make it back? 1695 01:36:49,451 --> 01:36:51,146 I might be able to work something out. 1696 01:36:51,186 --> 01:36:53,416 That'd be very nice. 1697 01:36:53,455 --> 01:36:55,548 What do you say, guys? Does Camp Hope rule? 1698 01:36:57,058 --> 01:36:59,356 Pat, did you hurt yourself on the Blob? 1699 01:36:59,394 --> 01:37:01,487 Yeah. I tore my rotator cuff. 1700 01:37:05,800 --> 01:37:07,734 Good afternoon. 1701 01:37:07,769 --> 01:37:08,963 I know what you're thinking. 1702 01:37:09,003 --> 01:37:11,631 "Another guy hawking healing crystals door-to-door." 1703 01:37:11,673 --> 01:37:13,163 I don't like to call them crystals. 1704 01:37:13,208 --> 01:37:15,733 I like to call them "transformational facilitators." 1705 01:37:15,777 --> 01:37:17,472 Perhaps-- 119092

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