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1
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,099
Hello, boys.Agh.
2
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:44,639
Someone's here to see you.
3
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:46,440
Really?
4
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:47,999
It's Gibby!
5
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,800
I am Gibby.
6
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,519
Er, hi, Gibby.
7
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,320
Well, come in, come in.
8
00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,040
Can you believe it? It's Gibby.
9
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,479
You are the Jonny?
10
00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:01,919
Er, yup.
11
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:05,179
And you are the Adam.
Or just "Adam".
12
00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:06,959
I am the Gibby.
13
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,760
OK.
14
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,560
What an amazing surprise, eh, boys?
15
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,079
Yes, it would be if we...
16
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,639
UNDER HIS BREATH:
..knew who she was.
17
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,440
What? Don't be silly.
18
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:18,240
It's Gibby.
19
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:20,520
To them I am a mystery.
20
00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:22,139
Oh.
21
00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:24,539
Oh, Gibby?
22
00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:26,879
Oh, why were you
so horrible to Gibby?
23
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,319
What?Who's Gibby?
24
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:29,759
I am Gibby.
25
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,279
Who, is she?
She's your bloody au pair.
26
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,679
So, we have an au pair now, do we?
I'll get the potty.
27
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,959
Not now, stupid, your old au pair.
28
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:39,259
She's come to visit.Old au pair?
29
00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:41,060
Yes, you were four,
and Jonny was a baby.
30
00:01:41,340 --> 00:01:42,719
Yes, you were four,
and Jonny was a baby.
31
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,520
From Switzerland? Liked animals?
32
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,419
Used to cry quite a lot.
33
00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:50,039
The memory of me, it has vanished.
34
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:53,880
What? Of course the memory
of you hasn't vanished.
35
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:59,040
BOTH:The memory of you
hasn't vanished.
36
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,040
There we are.
37
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,639
I am Gibby.
38
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,440
Oh, my God.
39
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,240
Come though, darling.
40
00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:12,119
Well, did they remember her?
41
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,839
GIBBY CRIES
42
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,279
She seems stable.
43
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,080
Oh, why did you have to
say anything?
44
00:02:19,260 --> 00:02:20,999
What?
45
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,800
KNOCKS ON DOOR
Gibby?
46
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:26,039
Excuse me,
I am using the facilities.
47
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,739
She's using the facilities?
48
00:02:27,740 --> 00:02:29,540
URINATING
49
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,560
She's using the facilities.
50
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,080
Well, they're obviously
excellent facilities.
51
00:02:37,340 --> 00:02:37,559
Well, they're obviously
excellent facilities.
52
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,360
She's still in there?Shhh.
53
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,400
But who just turns up?
Stop it, will you?
54
00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:42,359
But who just turns up?
Stop it, will you?
55
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:45,239
So, how long's she staying?
Five bleeding nights.
56
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,040
All right, Martin.
57
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:48,840
Ah, five nights
with a total nutjob.
58
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,760
She's not a nutjob.
59
00:02:50,780 --> 00:02:53,039
No, he said "total nutjob".
MARTIN LAUGHS
60
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,840
Martin.
61
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,640
She's just a little emotional.
62
00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:59,039
Gibby was always a little
emotional, wasn't she, Martin?
63
00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,479
A little emotional?
64
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,119
Oh, she was so sweet,
she used to love it here.
65
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,920
And you know, she's already
asked about having a cream tea.
66
00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:05,759
And you know, she's already
asked about having a cream tea.
67
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,219
JACKIE LAUGHS
Only 40 bloody times.
68
00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:10,619
Sorry, having a cream tea?
69
00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:13,199
What? Like scones and cream and jam?
70
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,779
Yeah. Don't you remember?
71
00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:16,580
Gibby used to go to the
hotel round the corner,
72
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,359
and have a cream tea every day.
73
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:19,679
Every day she had a cream tea?
74
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,979
And you let this woman look
after your children, did you?
75
00:03:21,980 --> 00:03:23,759
For a whole year.Very good.
76
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,299
While she worked her way
through 365 cream teas.
77
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:27,959
Stop it.
78
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,479
She just tried one once,
and was, you know, hooked.
79
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,759
Total nutjob.
80
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:34,459
Shut up.
81
00:03:34,460 --> 00:03:36,959
You used to adore her,
Adam, adore her.
82
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,639
All right.I return.
83
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,440
Oh. There you are, love.
Everything OK now?
84
00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:41,039
Oh. There you are, love.
Everything OK now?
85
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,679
Yes. The facilities,
they are clean.
86
00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:45,239
Oh. Great.
87
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:46,799
I sit in the vicinity of the boys?
88
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,600
Um.
89
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:51,959
The vicinity.
90
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,800
Aw, Gibby and our little babies.
91
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,840
Smile!
92
00:03:57,980 --> 00:03:59,780
CLICK
Mum.Ah, lovely.
93
00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:01,559
CLICK
Mum.Ah, lovely.
94
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:02,939
Aw.
95
00:04:02,940 --> 00:04:04,439
And now we go for the cream tea?
96
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:05,519
Christ.
97
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,320
Er, not now, Gibby, OK?
98
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:07,919
Er, not now, Gibby, OK?
99
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:09,720
But, you are saying the old hotel,
100
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:10,319
But, you are saying the old hotel,
101
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,599
it is still providing
the cream teas?
102
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,419
Yes, but we'll get a cream
tea another day.
103
00:04:15,420 --> 00:04:17,039
Oh.
104
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,840
Gibby is very sad.
105
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,279
Um. Gibby's also visiting
some of the other families
106
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,859
she worked for all those years ago.
107
00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:26,159
Isn't that...Weird?
108
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,960
Yes, I am performing all the visits.
109
00:04:28,220 --> 00:04:29,279
Yes, I am performing all the visits.
110
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:32,279
The family Sullivan, they is nice.
111
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:35,520
The family Goodman,
they is very nice.
112
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,199
Ooh.
113
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:41,040
The family Carter,
they is the best family.
114
00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,560
Um, right.
115
00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:45,380
But they is dead.
116
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:46,939
But they is dead.
117
00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:48,740
DOORBELL RINGS
I'm getting that.
118
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,760
What he said.Yup.
119
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,400
Hello, boys and man.
120
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:54,139
Hello, boys and man.
121
00:04:54,140 --> 00:04:55,940
ALL:Hi.All right, Jim?
122
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:59,159
No, I'm not all right, actually.
123
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,960
Really?I'm wounded.
124
00:05:01,020 --> 00:05:02,639
JONNY AND ADAM:Wounded?
125
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,319
Oh, God, Jim, come in.
126
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,520
Thank you, Martin.
127
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,320
Come no, Milson. Get up there.
128
00:05:07,580 --> 00:05:07,799
Come no, Milson. Get up there.
129
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,119
Oh, uh, uh.
130
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:10,920
That's it.
131
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:12,859
Where's your wound?
132
00:05:12,860 --> 00:05:14,660
Here.
133
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,360
That's your wound?
134
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,699
I don't have any plasters you see.
135
00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:23,639
And what if a dirty microbe
got inside the wound
136
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:27,359
and travelled all
the way down to my organs?
137
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,799
Your organs?
138
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,600
Yes, my kidneys, my livers.
139
00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:32,640
You only have one liver, Jim.
140
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,159
I only have one liver now?
141
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,960
Everything all right?
142
00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:38,820
Jim's lost one of his livers.
Huh?
143
00:05:38,940 --> 00:05:41,399
Do you have a plaster, Jackie?
144
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,399
I have a terrible, gaping wound.
145
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,200
God.Jonny, get a plaster.
146
00:05:46,460 --> 00:05:46,679
God.Jonny, get a plaster.
147
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,019
Go on, Puss-face.Ugh.Jonny.
148
00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:51,719
A man und a dog,
they is in the house.
149
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,520
MILSON WHINES
150
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,520
Um, Jim, this is Gibby.
151
00:05:58,460 --> 00:05:59,759
It's Gibby.
152
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,560
The dog, it is large.
153
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,600
Is it?
154
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,619
Um, Gibby's from Switzerland.
155
00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:09,119
In Switzerland, the dogs
of the mountain,
156
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,920
they is as large as wolves.
157
00:06:10,940 --> 00:06:12,740
Wolves?
158
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,959
Er, Gibby was our au pair.
159
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,239
A pear?Right.
160
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,559
Auf wiedersehen.
161
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,360
JACKIE: Er, thank you.
162
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,639
Plaster.Thanks, Bobble.
163
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,979
Jim, do you want me
to do it for you, or?
164
00:06:25,980 --> 00:06:27,780
Can Gibby do my plaster?
165
00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:30,240
OK.
166
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,600
One, two...Ah, ah!..it is done.
167
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,159
Good boy.
168
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:39,739
Good girl.
169
00:06:39,740 --> 00:06:41,540
Und now I must use the facilities.
170
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,719
Jackie, might I
also use the facilities?
171
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,520
Jim, Gibby's using the loo.
172
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,440
URINATING
173
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,360
Yes, Gibby's using the loo.
174
00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:56,420
Yes, Gibby's using the loo.
175
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,319
Goodbye, Jim.
176
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,120
Oh, yes, come on Milson.
177
00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:02,180
Oh, yes, come on Milson.
178
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,519
Yes, Switzerland...
179
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,799
Ugh.Has Professor Bonkers gone?
180
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,359
Martin.What?
181
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,160
Jim fancies Gibby.
182
00:07:12,060 --> 00:07:13,860
Shit on it.
183
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,320
Can't we just start?Shhh.
184
00:07:19,580 --> 00:07:21,359
What's she still doing in there?
185
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,160
Rebuilding the facilities?
MESSAGE TONE
186
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,819
Oh, Jim, not again.
187
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,359
What's he want now?
188
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:29,659
"Is Gibby warm enough in the house?"
189
00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:31,439
Seriously?
He met her for one minute.
190
00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:32,879
He's bloody obsessed with her.
191
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,680
MESSAGE TONE
Oh.Another one?
192
00:07:34,940 --> 00:07:35,419
MESSAGE TONE
Oh.Another one?
193
00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:37,220
"Please ensure Gibby has easy
access to fresh water."
194
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:38,459
"Please ensure Gibby has easy
access to fresh water."
195
00:07:38,460 --> 00:07:40,260
Boys, get the hosepipe.
196
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,240
Yeah, and strangle me with it.
JACKIE LAUGHS
197
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,280
I return.
198
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,080
Um, great.
199
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,240
Everything OK now?
200
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,939
Yes. My body, it is emptied.
201
00:07:50,940 --> 00:07:52,740
How nice.
202
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,739
Right, tuck in, everyone.
JACKIE LAUGHS
203
00:07:55,740 --> 00:07:57,540
Ooh, and there's still about
900,000 potatoes,
204
00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:59,279
so don't be shy.
205
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,080
Mm.
206
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:03,119
That's it, Martin, don't be shy.
207
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,920
Ow.
208
00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:08,999
Gibby, nice?
209
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,319
Gibby is nice?
210
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,120
Er, the food, do you like the taste?
211
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:16,080
Mm, this is a difficult question.
212
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,759
Really? Why?
213
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,560
Because there is no taste.
214
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,360
And you're staying here how long?
215
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,159
For the five nights.
216
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:24,960
Oh, yes, the five nights.
217
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,799
Actually, Jackie, the
taste that is the best for me
218
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,600
is the taste of the cream tea.
219
00:08:30,780 --> 00:08:32,279
Bloody hell.
220
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:36,059
You know, with the scone
and the cream.
221
00:08:36,060 --> 00:08:37,439
Um, yeah, love.
222
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,739
And the jam of the
berries of the straw.
223
00:08:39,740 --> 00:08:41,540
Strawberry jam.
224
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,639
So, we are getting the
cream tea now, ja?
225
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,899
Now?Er, not now, Gibby,
OK? Maybe tomorrow?
226
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:49,700
Hmmm?
227
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,120
This is a tragedy.
228
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,879
WHISPERS:Five nights.
229
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,680
DOORBELL RINGS
Oh, Jim?Obviously.
230
00:08:58,940 --> 00:09:00,740
DOORBELL RINGS
Oh, Jim?Obviously.
231
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,259
Obviously.Hmmm?
232
00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:05,039
Nothing. What do you want?
233
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,840
Er.
234
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,440
Great.
235
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:12,859
Um, I must apologise,
236
00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:15,839
but I think I left
something in your house,
237
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,619
you know, when I was here earlier.
238
00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:20,420
Really? What?
239
00:09:21,180 --> 00:09:22,799
How's Gibby?
240
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,479
Erm, fine.
241
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,779
What did you lose, Jim?
Where's Gibby?
242
00:09:26,780 --> 00:09:28,580
She's in the dining room.
What did you lose?
243
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:29,159
She's in the dining room.
What did you lose?
244
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:32,699
Yes, I lost it in the dining room.
245
00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:35,519
No, you didn't lose
it in the dining room
246
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,819
because you didn't go in
the dining room, remember?
247
00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:39,479
You were just here.
248
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:43,320
Yes, well, maybe the
thing that I lost...
249
00:09:43,580 --> 00:09:45,380
..it rolled all the way from here
250
00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:47,460
..it rolled all the way from here
251
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,919
into the dining room.
252
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:53,760
OK, and the thing that you lost was?
253
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:57,019
A marble.Of course it was.
254
00:09:57,020 --> 00:09:59,759
Yes, it was a particularly
round marble
255
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,560
because it rolled all the
way from here to remain...
256
00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:04,799
because it rolled all the
way from here to remain...
257
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:08,640
Jim?..here.
258
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,680
Hello, all.Pissing heck.
259
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,359
Oh, hi, Jim.
260
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,039
Jim's lost a pretend marble.
261
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,699
Pretend marble?Real marble.
262
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,500
Huh?
263
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:20,699
Hello...
264
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:22,319
..Gibby.
265
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,899
Jim.
266
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:26,779
JIM WHINES AWKWARDLY
267
00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:28,559
Is that all, Jim, or..?
268
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,299
Um, oh, yes.
269
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:31,799
Actually, no.
270
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,399
There is something I need
to talk to Gibby about.
271
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,999
Really?Um...
272
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,800
..Switzerland.
273
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,840
Mm-hmm.
274
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,040
Well, thanks, Jim, so
if you could...
275
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,080
JIM WHINES AWKWARDLY
276
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,000
Martin?
277
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,479
Come on, Jim.
GIBBY LAUGHS
278
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,280
Come on.
279
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,200
Right.Argh.
280
00:10:58,460 --> 00:11:00,260
Right.Argh.
281
00:11:00,540 --> 00:11:01,979
My God.
282
00:11:01,980 --> 00:11:04,219
Erm, sorry about him, Gibby.
283
00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:05,759
He is a nice man?
284
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,879
Hm.Um.He has the fat legs?
285
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,279
What?I'm sorry?Fat legs?
286
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,520
Because the man I was with,
I am having to finish with him
287
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,320
because he has the fat legs.
288
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,240
So, normal reasons, then.
289
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,280
Jackie, you think Jim
has the fat legs?
290
00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:20,879
Jackie, you think Jim
has the fat legs?
291
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,680
Er, I wouldn't really
know that, love.
292
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:24,740
Er, I wouldn't really
know that, love.
293
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,000
GIBBY MOANS ANXIOUSLY
294
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,080
Nearly broke my bleeding back.
295
00:11:31,260 --> 00:11:33,060
GIBBY MOANS
296
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:36,840
Everything all right, there, Gibby?
297
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,760
She's thinking about the fat legs.
298
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,219
The fat legs?
299
00:11:40,220 --> 00:11:42,020
Um.You OK, love?
300
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:42,599
Um.You OK, love?
301
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:46,939
I am just remembering living in the
house with the Goodman family.
302
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,740
It is the happiest
time in the life for Gibby.
303
00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:49,919
It is the happiest
time in the life for Gibby.
304
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,319
Ah, sweetie.
305
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,919
Sometimes I wished
you was my family.
306
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,720
GIBBY SOBS
307
00:11:57,980 --> 00:11:59,780
GIBBY SOBS
308
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,960
Oh, come here, love.
309
00:12:04,220 --> 00:12:05,159
Oh, come here, love.
310
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,479
Don't be sad.
311
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,280
CRIES:Ja-ck-ie!
312
00:12:08,540 --> 00:12:09,239
CRIES:Ja-ck-ie!
313
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:13,080
Jackie, there is only one
thing in the world that can make me
314
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,880
feel happy in this moment.
315
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,800
Really? And what's that?
316
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,319
I mean, it's ridiculous.
317
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,120
Going for a cream tea
halfway through dinner?
318
00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:24,719
Going for a cream tea
halfway through dinner?
319
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:25,559
Who wants to bloody do that?
320
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:26,999
I want to bloody do that.
321
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,800
That's cos you'll eat
anything at any time.
322
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,720
Yeah, is there anything
you won't eat, ever?
323
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,979
Erm, wasps?
324
00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:35,780
Oh, hurry up with the facilities.
325
00:12:36,060 --> 00:12:36,599
Oh, hurry up with the facilities.
326
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,400
You OK, Gibby?
327
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,479
I am now re-emptied.
328
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,280
Mazeltov. Let's go.
329
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,120
Oh, crab. What are you doing there?
330
00:12:48,380 --> 00:12:48,719
Oh, crab. What are you doing there?
331
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,560
Oh, just looking for my
very round marble.
332
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,160
Hello, Gibby.
333
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,200
Hello, the Jim.
334
00:12:58,460 --> 00:12:59,279
Hello, the Jim.
335
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,679
Well, we're just
popping out now, so...
336
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:04,559
Oh, where are you "popping" to?
337
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,119
WHISPERS: Don't tell him.
338
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,879
We go to the old hotel Welmsley
to have the cream tea.
339
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,639
You put cream in your tea?
340
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,440
It's a creamy tea?
341
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,240
Goodbye.
342
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,640
Oh, I forget.
343
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,120
Gibby.
344
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,280
Oh-oh-oh!
345
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,680
Hmmm.
346
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,800
Gibby fancies Jim.
347
00:13:48,550 --> 00:13:50,350
Well, here we are.
348
00:13:50,350 --> 00:13:54,190
Oh, my mouth is very excited
for the taste of the cream tea.
349
00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:56,949
Is your mouths very excited
for the taste of the cream tea?
350
00:13:56,950 --> 00:13:59,949
Oh, yes,
we all have very excited mouths.
351
00:13:59,950 --> 00:14:02,469
And now I must use the facilities.
352
00:14:02,470 --> 00:14:03,670
Bloody hell.
353
00:14:03,670 --> 00:14:05,470
Can't we just dump her
here for five nights?
354
00:14:05,490 --> 00:14:06,929
What? The hotel or the car park?
355
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,469
Either will do.
356
00:14:08,470 --> 00:14:09,789
Come on.
357
00:14:09,790 --> 00:14:12,069
Wait. That's Bradley.
358
00:14:12,070 --> 00:14:12,909
Bradley?
359
00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:15,309
It is. I haven't seen him for about
40 years.
360
00:14:15,310 --> 00:14:17,110
We went to school together.
361
00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:18,929
Oh, God...
HE GASPS
362
00:14:18,930 --> 00:14:19,989
He's lost an arm.
363
00:14:19,990 --> 00:14:21,190
Poor Bradley.
364
00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:22,629
Oh, dear.
365
00:14:22,630 --> 00:14:24,430
Erm, excuse me.
366
00:14:24,550 --> 00:14:26,350
I don't believe it!
It's Martin bloody Goodman.
367
00:14:26,610 --> 00:14:28,269
I don't believe it!
It's Martin bloody Goodman.
368
00:14:28,270 --> 00:14:29,349
That's right!
369
00:14:29,350 --> 00:14:30,550
Hello, Bradley.
370
00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:31,629
Er, Neville.
371
00:14:31,630 --> 00:14:33,009
Oh, yes, I meant Neville.
372
00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:35,469
Erm, Shirley, this is Martin.
We went to school together.
373
00:14:35,470 --> 00:14:36,689
Lovely to meet you.
374
00:14:36,690 --> 00:14:38,490
Oh, yes, this is my family.
375
00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:39,309
Oh, yes, this is my family.
376
00:14:39,310 --> 00:14:40,629
The wife.
377
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,430
And, er, the children.
378
00:14:42,670 --> 00:14:43,749
Thank you.
379
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,550
You know, lads, me and your dad got
up to no end of mischief at school.
380
00:14:45,810 --> 00:14:47,589
You know, lads, me and your dad got
up to no end of mischief at school.
381
00:14:47,590 --> 00:14:48,909
Really?Did you?
382
00:14:48,910 --> 00:14:52,529
Remember old Hasting's car,
when we let down all his tyres?
383
00:14:52,530 --> 00:14:54,069
What? No.
384
00:14:54,070 --> 00:14:55,149
Yeah, by the main hall.
385
00:14:55,150 --> 00:14:56,950
And we did Miss Gant's tyres.
386
00:14:56,950 --> 00:14:58,150
Did we?
387
00:14:58,150 --> 00:14:59,950
And Mr Dudley's tyres.
Don't you remember?Erm...
388
00:15:00,210 --> 00:15:01,029
And Mr Dudley's tyres.
Don't you remember?Erm...
389
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,230
He doesn't have the best memory.
390
00:15:02,230 --> 00:15:04,030
He hasn't got a memory!
391
00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:07,749
Er, by the way, I'm so sorry.
When, er...
392
00:15:07,750 --> 00:15:09,550
When did that happen?
393
00:15:10,030 --> 00:15:11,830
When did what happen?
394
00:15:11,950 --> 00:15:13,150
Your arm.
395
00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:14,769
My arm?His arm?
396
00:15:14,770 --> 00:15:16,570
Are you joking or something?
397
00:15:16,690 --> 00:15:19,029
Sorry?I didn't have an arm when I
knew you.
398
00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:20,369
- Oh, God.
Didn't you?
399
00:15:20,370 --> 00:15:22,170
No. I was born without an arm.
400
00:15:22,450 --> 00:15:22,869
No. I was born without an arm.
401
00:15:22,870 --> 00:15:24,670
Shit. I must have forgot.
402
00:15:25,630 --> 00:15:27,430
Er...
403
00:15:28,150 --> 00:15:31,629
Um... Well, nice to have met you
all.
404
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:33,069
Yeah, really nice.
405
00:15:33,070 --> 00:15:34,629
You've never had an arm?
406
00:15:34,630 --> 00:15:35,949
Goodbye, Martin.
407
00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:37,389
Yeah, see you, Bradley.
408
00:15:37,390 --> 00:15:39,190
Neville.
409
00:15:39,670 --> 00:15:41,470
Well, that wasn't the most
410
00:15:41,490 --> 00:15:43,869
embarrassing conversation of all
time.Yeah, well done, dad.
411
00:15:43,870 --> 00:15:45,489
Fancy not remembering
he didn't have an arm!
412
00:15:45,490 --> 00:15:47,829
All right.
I remembered he didn't have a tail.
413
00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:48,549
Martin!
414
00:15:48,550 --> 00:15:50,350
Hello, all.
THEY ALL GROAN
415
00:15:50,610 --> 00:15:54,430
Is this the right place for a
creamy tea?
416
00:15:55,030 --> 00:15:58,629
Ooh! Oh, Jim! Oh, no!
417
00:15:58,630 --> 00:16:00,430
Naughty Mr Metal Spoon is coming
back for more!
418
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:02,229
Naughty Mr Metal Spoon is coming
back for more!
419
00:16:02,230 --> 00:16:03,249
No, Jim, no!
420
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:05,050
Please make it stop.
421
00:16:05,970 --> 00:16:07,770
CLATTERING
422
00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:10,389
Erm, five cream teas?
423
00:16:10,390 --> 00:16:11,469
Thank God.
424
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,270
There you are.
425
00:16:14,290 --> 00:16:16,090
And one...
426
00:16:16,270 --> 00:16:18,669
..creamy... tea.
427
00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:24,550
Ahh, creamy tea.
428
00:16:24,910 --> 00:16:29,229
HE GROWLS SOFTLY
429
00:16:29,230 --> 00:16:31,030
Lovely and thick.
430
00:16:33,070 --> 00:16:37,869
25 years I am
waiting for the delicious cream tea.
431
00:16:37,870 --> 00:16:40,629
Well, I hope you enjoy
it as much as you used to.
432
00:16:40,630 --> 00:16:43,749
I hope so also, Jackie.
433
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:45,550
Very much.
434
00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:53,349
Well?Well?
435
00:16:53,350 --> 00:16:55,150
Oh...Gibby?
436
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:57,789
The cream is just too much sweet.
437
00:16:57,790 --> 00:17:00,209
The jam, it is too much not sweet.
438
00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:01,269
And the scone...
439
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,070
SHE SNIFFS
440
00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:05,370
It is smelly.
441
00:17:05,590 --> 00:17:07,390
"Smelly"?
442
00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:11,610
SHE SOBS
443
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:17,530
JIM SLURPS LOUDLY
444
00:17:20,230 --> 00:17:22,030
Well, this is terrific.
445
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:24,090
Well, this is terrific.
446
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:29,949
Oh, come on, Gibby, come out now.
447
00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:31,509
I do not never come out.
448
00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:32,949
What a shame.
449
00:17:32,950 --> 00:17:34,629
What are we meant to do?
450
00:17:34,630 --> 00:17:36,430
Nothing. She just spends the next
five nights locked in a hotel bog.
451
00:17:36,690 --> 00:17:37,749
Nothing. She just spends the next
five nights locked in a hotel bog.
452
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:39,429
Yup.Where's your father?
453
00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:41,230
Er, he's just finishing his five
cream teas.
454
00:17:41,490 --> 00:17:42,449
Er, he's just finishing his five
cream teas.
455
00:17:42,450 --> 00:17:44,250
SHE SIGHS
456
00:17:44,850 --> 00:17:46,650
Oh, come out, will you?
457
00:17:46,930 --> 00:17:47,249
Oh, come out, will you?
458
00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:49,869
Jackie, I've finished my creamy tea
459
00:17:49,870 --> 00:17:53,710
and now I'm all ready to
liberate Gibby.
460
00:17:53,970 --> 00:17:54,309
and now I'm all ready to
liberate Gibby.
461
00:17:54,310 --> 00:17:56,110
You're going to liberate Gibby,
are you, Jim?
462
00:17:56,370 --> 00:17:56,709
You're going to liberate Gibby,
are you, Jim?
463
00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:58,029
Yes, Jackie.
464
00:17:58,030 --> 00:18:00,429
Right. And what are you going to do?
Kick the door down?
465
00:18:00,430 --> 00:18:01,989
Erm...
466
00:18:01,990 --> 00:18:03,790
Stand back, please.
467
00:18:10,030 --> 00:18:13,029
# There was a frog lived in a well
468
00:18:13,030 --> 00:18:14,830
# Whipsee diddledee dandy dee
469
00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:16,630
# There was a mouse lived in a well
470
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:18,550
# Whipsee diddledee dandy dee
471
00:18:18,790 --> 00:18:20,590
# The frog he would a-wooing ride
472
00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:22,510
# With a sword and buckler by his
side
473
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:25,029
# With a harum-scarum diddle dum
darum
474
00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:26,830
# Whipsee diddledee dandy dee! #
475
00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:28,890
# Whipsee diddledee dandy dee! #
476
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,870
DOOR OPENS
477
00:18:38,770 --> 00:18:39,909
Thank you, Jim.
478
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,710
It is beautiful.
479
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:52,749
We're going.
480
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:54,309
What do you mean we're going?
Don't ask.
481
00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:56,589
I've still got another three
cream teas to get through.
482
00:18:56,590 --> 00:18:58,390
Come on.Jackie!
483
00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:00,570
Come on!
484
00:19:02,110 --> 00:19:03,310
I'm sorry, Martin.
485
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:05,709
The girl's too much.
She's just too much.
486
00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:08,229
Hm?Ugh! Martin!
487
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,030
Dad...What?
488
00:19:10,030 --> 00:19:11,830
Your tyres?
489
00:19:12,070 --> 00:19:13,870
Oh, crap.
490
00:19:15,190 --> 00:19:16,990
I wonder who did that?
491
00:19:17,710 --> 00:19:20,049
Neville sodding Bradley git.
492
00:19:20,050 --> 00:19:21,850
Right, well, here we are, then, Jim.
493
00:19:21,970 --> 00:19:23,770
Yes, here we are.
494
00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:27,190
Not you.
495
00:19:28,630 --> 00:19:30,430
Oh, Jim is not here?
496
00:19:30,550 --> 00:19:32,350
No, he's just had to pop home and...
497
00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:33,909
Make love to his dog.
498
00:19:33,910 --> 00:19:35,110
Ow!
499
00:19:35,110 --> 00:19:37,389
Gibby is so sad without Jim.
500
00:19:37,390 --> 00:19:40,029
Yes, well, I'm sure you'll survive.
501
00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:43,870
Why don't you come and have a nice
little sit-down in the living room?
502
00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:44,949
On the own?
503
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:46,750
That's right - on the own.
504
00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:50,230
Mum?
505
00:19:50,350 --> 00:19:52,150
Upstairs.
506
00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:58,870
Ooh, what about this place?
507
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:01,269
Martin, you've shown me
that place five times already.
508
00:20:01,270 --> 00:20:03,070
It's fully booked.All right.
509
00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:05,829
Isn't it a bit mean to just stick
her in a hotel for the weekend?
510
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,630
Boys, it's only a couple of nights.
511
00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:08,349
Boys, it's only a couple of nights.
512
00:20:08,350 --> 00:20:10,150
This place?
Oh, my God, it's the same place!
513
00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:11,589
Right, move. I'm doing it.
514
00:20:11,590 --> 00:20:12,790
SHE SIGHS
515
00:20:12,790 --> 00:20:15,569
Boys, please give your
father Internet lessons.
516
00:20:15,570 --> 00:20:17,370
Bloody Internet.
517
00:20:17,470 --> 00:20:20,369
There's got to be somewhere
near that's got a room.
518
00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:21,669
That place looks all right.
519
00:20:21,670 --> 00:20:23,409
Does it look all right?
520
00:20:23,410 --> 00:20:25,210
"I found a rat in my room."
521
00:20:25,330 --> 00:20:26,829
The London Rat Hotel.
522
00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:28,269
Oh, shit.
523
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,669
You know, we're the ones
that should be staying in a hotel,
524
00:20:30,670 --> 00:20:32,470
Jackie, not old Giblet features.
525
00:20:32,470 --> 00:20:33,549
Ha-ha!
526
00:20:33,550 --> 00:20:35,829
Having a bit of time to ourselves.
527
00:20:35,830 --> 00:20:36,669
Dad!
528
00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:38,229
Having a bit of nippy-nippy.
529
00:20:38,230 --> 00:20:41,009
Argh!Oh, my God, you're animals!
530
00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:42,810
Oh, just go downstairs, then,
if you don't like it.
531
00:20:43,090 --> 00:20:43,389
Oh, just go downstairs, then,
if you don't like it.
532
00:20:43,390 --> 00:20:44,709
We don't like it.Yeah.
533
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:46,510
Enjoy your five nights here with
Gibby-Gibby and no nippy-nippy.
534
00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:48,570
Enjoy your five nights here with
Gibby-Gibby and no nippy-nippy.
535
00:20:48,690 --> 00:20:50,490
Sods.
536
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,749
I mean...
JIM:Gibby!
537
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:54,550
SHE LAUGHS
Oh, Casanova's back.
538
00:20:58,630 --> 00:21:00,430
MUSIC PLAYS
539
00:21:00,690 --> 00:21:02,490
MUSIC PLAYS
540
00:21:06,550 --> 00:21:07,989
Terrific evening.
541
00:21:07,990 --> 00:21:09,790
And jump!
542
00:21:16,050 --> 00:21:19,870
Er, Jonny?What?
543
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,830
Er, why are Mum and Dad driving off
in your car?
544
00:21:27,730 --> 00:21:29,530
Oi!Mum? Dad?Hey!
545
00:21:29,710 --> 00:21:31,510
Come back!
546
00:21:31,630 --> 00:21:33,430
Where are they bloody going?!Right!
547
00:21:34,630 --> 00:21:36,430
What's going on?! Adam?
548
00:21:36,690 --> 00:21:38,490
What's going on?! Adam?
549
00:21:39,910 --> 00:21:41,710
What's that?
Obviously they're not answering.
550
00:21:41,970 --> 00:21:45,489
The shits."Found a room in a
rat-free hotel. Back late Sunday."
551
00:21:45,490 --> 00:21:47,109
Oh, my God!The shits!
552
00:21:47,110 --> 00:21:48,789
"Please look after Gibby."
553
00:21:48,790 --> 00:21:51,189
They want us to look after Gibby?!
Bastards!
554
00:21:51,190 --> 00:21:54,189
What's dad put here? Oh,
"Two words, - nippy-nippy."
555
00:21:54,190 --> 00:21:55,869
Nice touch.I can't believe it.
556
00:21:55,870 --> 00:21:58,289
They've just dumped us
here with bloody...Hello?
557
00:21:58,290 --> 00:22:00,090
The mother and the father,
they is gone?
558
00:22:00,370 --> 00:22:00,689
The mother and the father,
they is gone?
559
00:22:00,690 --> 00:22:04,389
Er, they've just had to go
away for a couple of days, Gibby.
560
00:22:04,390 --> 00:22:05,709
Yeah.
561
00:22:05,710 --> 00:22:09,550
But... who will look after Gibby?
562
00:22:11,950 --> 00:22:13,750
BOTH:We will look after Gibby.
563
00:22:15,430 --> 00:22:19,270
Can we do some more erotic dancing,
now, Gibby?
564
00:22:19,270 --> 00:22:21,070
Jim, I am thinking we have the
upstairs of the house
565
00:22:21,330 --> 00:22:22,029
Jim, I am thinking we have the
upstairs of the house
566
00:22:22,030 --> 00:22:23,830
to ourselves tonight.
567
00:22:23,950 --> 00:22:25,150
Oh, God.
568
00:22:25,150 --> 00:22:27,909
Maybe we can be having some fun.
569
00:22:27,910 --> 00:22:29,710
Ooh, Gibby...
570
00:22:30,670 --> 00:22:32,470
Ahh... Ahh!
571
00:22:32,530 --> 00:22:34,029
Er...
572
00:22:34,030 --> 00:22:37,870
You are liking what you are seeing?
573
00:22:37,870 --> 00:22:39,670
Oh, yes, Gibby.
574
00:22:39,670 --> 00:22:41,009
Guys...
575
00:22:41,010 --> 00:22:42,810
Maybe you are liking to see
some more?
576
00:22:43,090 --> 00:22:44,890
Maybe you are liking to see
some more?
577
00:22:46,450 --> 00:22:48,250
HE BREATHES RAPIDLY
578
00:22:49,510 --> 00:22:51,310
Wolves! Wolves!
579
00:22:51,570 --> 00:22:53,370
Wolves! Wolves!
580
00:22:53,710 --> 00:22:55,510
HE WHIMPERS
581
00:22:56,710 --> 00:22:58,510
HE SCREAMS
582
00:22:59,470 --> 00:23:01,029
Oh...
583
00:23:01,030 --> 00:23:02,830
Oh.
584
00:23:04,870 --> 00:23:06,670
I use the facilities.
585
00:23:06,670 --> 00:23:09,789
# I change shapes just to hide in
this place
586
00:23:09,790 --> 00:23:14,349
# But I'm still, I'm still an animal
587
00:23:14,350 --> 00:23:17,109
# Nobody knows it but me when I slip
588
00:23:17,110 --> 00:23:21,549
# Yeah, I slip, I'm still an animal
589
00:23:21,550 --> 00:23:24,689
# I change shapes just to hide in
this place
590
00:23:24,690 --> 00:23:26,490
# But I'm still,
I'm still an animal... #
591
00:23:26,770 --> 00:23:28,149
# But I'm still,
I'm still an animal... #
592
00:23:28,150 --> 00:23:29,950
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