Original subtitles

Repeating what we know, Miss Reese has been arraigned on attempted murder charges.

Bail was set at 1,200,000.

- Denny Crane. - Barry Goal.

Star of the popular reality show The Phoenix, entered a plea of not guilty.

Both sides agreeing to an immediate trial date.

Why Miss Reese was carrying the gun, we don't know.

I thought he was gonna kill me.

- Did you recognize him? - Not then.

Now I know he's a photographer for one of those celebrity stalker Web sites.

Fan-based Web sites. They track certain stars.

Yeah. This one's called getcourtney. com.

- Denny Crane. - Barry Goal.

I'm sorry. You'll have to forgive Denny. His eyes are bigger than his shame.

And frankly, I don't know what to make of Barry.

- So you said these Web sites actually track celebrities. - They hunt us down.

Anybody who spots me on the street just text messages my location into the Web site.

Some of them even get paid for a good tip. Now anybody- Here.

Anybody can track my every move every minute of the day.

Terrible.

- Look at this. - There's our building.

- And it says you're here. - And you're here.

One of your assistants probably made a hundred bucks for this tip.

The problem is it's not just fans who know where I am.

It's stalkers. Mentally-ill people.

I've had guys show up straight from the psych ward saying I'm their ex-wife...

and they're gonna kill me for jilting them.

- And you thought this man was coming to kill you? - Yeah! I thought he-

Mr. Crane, I need you to stop staring at me like that.

Of course. Marry me.

- I beg your pardon? - Your 15 minutes are almost up.

Mine has lasted a lifetime. Tell her.

Marry him.

Lara and Joel Kohn to see Marlene Stanger at 10:30.

I think she stepped out of the building for a few minutes. Let me try her cell.

Are you here for Marlene Stanger?

- She was recommended to us. - We made an appointment. She doesn't appear to be here.

That doesn't sound like Marlene.

I'm Denise Bauer. I work very closely with Marlene.

And I know that she is swamped.

Um, why don't you come in my office and we can talk.

Both sides have apparently agreed to fast-track this.

The only issue being did Miss Reese fear for her life...

and if so, was that fear reasonable.

Some speculation that Miss Reese was simply fed up with the paparazzi.

And this last encounter was the final straw.

So far we have no indication of where Miss Reese got the gun.

The good news, Courtney, you're already beautiful, so we don't have to Marcia Clark you.

The bad news is you're beautiful and you shot a man.

The only person I can see getting away with that is Princess Di...

who was herself killed by the paparazzi.

So by evoking her image, we get a twofer.

I suggest this for your first day of trial.

A turtleneck in L. A. in the spring. Are you trying to kill me?

We can mix and match, but it's critical you feel comfortable in your wardrobe.

- The jury can sense comfort level. - My own clothes or none at all.

- None. - Courtney.

Typically, we would want the jury to relate to you.

Typically, no juror would've been carrying a gun into a restaurant.

So perhaps the argument should be they couldn't possibly relate to me.

We'll get back to wardrobe. Let's talk victim.

Our investigators are checking into the photographer.

His friends, family, skeletons, the usual.

What is important is that in the press...

he looks like someone who would attack Courtney in an alley.

- He did attack me in an alley. - Legals?

In order to prove self-defense...

we need to show that in these circumstances, you reasonably felt your life was in danger.

The only person who can convey that is you, so you'll need to testify.

- And I'll be right by your side. - So will I.

Neither of them will be. You'll be sitting up there all alone...

undoubtedly subject to unrelenting cross-examination.

- I'm a big girl. - Excellent.

Now just for fun, try it this way. "I'm a bad girl. "

- I just wanna hear how it plays. - I'm a bad girl?

- "Very bad girl. " - Denny.

I cannot believe you of all people are here asking me for a favor.

- Well, it's not so much a favor as- - Buzz Lightyear himself.

- Who calls me that? - Not me.

- I look at you and see a Woody. - She has no prison record.

- A boy is dead. - Which is why we're willing to plea.

Three months is the right result.

- Whatever our differences, this is- - Wh-What differences?

Are you referring to the time I interviewed with you...

for a position at Crane, Poole & Schmidt?

All the while you surfed the Net to get cheap ski lift tickets at Whistler?

Do you think that that would cause a rift between us?

As if I'd even remember.

I need your help.

This is my niece. Now you know this is the right result. Please.

On your knees.

- And "pretty please. " - What?

Down on your knees. Do it.

And-And button it with, um, "beautiful goddess. "

- You're not serious? - I'm very serious.

Pretty please...

beautiful goddess.

L. A. smog, not good.

Ah.

Denny, I consider myself a delightfully lascivious person...

and I often appreciate that quality in others.

But I need you to tone it down a little with Courtney.

She's the sexiest woman on earth.

Unless, of course, you go for "pregos. " In which case, it's Angelina.

This is a serious case, Denny. She's up on attempted murder charges.

It's a character builder. She'll be fine.

- I'm gonna marry her, Alan. - Courtney Reese?

She's got Denny Crane written all over her. And I'll tell you this.

When the time comes, she'll pull my plug... happily.

Not to burst your bubble, as unburstable as it appears to be...

but I get the feeling Courtney's interests lie elsewhere.

- What do you mean? - I'm picking up on signals.

Well, pick up on this. Stay away from my sixth wife.

Courtney Crane.

I love it.

Fish? Who knew?

- I'm proud of you, kiddo. - Thank you.

Everybody's smiling. Happy news?

Denise just landed- Dare I say it?- a big whale.

Citeradela Seafoods. They distribute up and down the East Coast.

- The Kohn family, right? - Right.

Huh.

The prosecution of Courtney Reese for attempted murder began today.

- Unbelievable. - Wherever they go, they get the good stuff.

- Unbelievable. - ... changes people's lives every week for the better-

- This isn't fair. - may signal for her a change for the worse.

So I figured she might come out the side alley. She often does.

So I kind of staked out a position.

- And at some point, the defendant did come out? - Yes.

- And what did you do? - I approached to take a picture.

- Did you say anything? - No.

- Did she say anything? - Yeah. I think she yelled, "Back off. "

- And then what happened? - I went to take a picture.

And, uh, she shot me.

Did she warn you? Did she indicate that she had a gun?

No. No. She just opened fire.

It sounds like a terrifying encounter. Were you frightened, Mr. Rice?

- Of course I was. - I can imagine.

By the way, can you imagine that Miss Reese...

might have been terrified when you charged at her in the alley?

I think Miss Reese is familiar with photographers trying to get her picture.

You jumped out from behind a Dumpster, did you not?

- Yes. - Was the alleyway lit?

- It was not lit. - Mr. Rice, you're a freelance photographer, are you not?

You submit your work to many different magazines and newspapers?

- Yeah. - And all these publications prefer candid shots.

A scared expression is worth more than, say...

a picture where a celebrity is smiling or posing.

Which is why you leapt out from behind the Dumpster to startle her?

Yeah. I was trying to get a candid shot ofher, yes. But again, they're used to that.

By "they," I imagine you mean celebrities and other people who...

at your discretion alone, have forfeited their right to privacy.

No, no. They sign up for it when they chose to be famous.

Did they sign up for having their car run off the road?

You've done that with other celebrities, haven't you?

- Objection. The victim is not on trial here. - The victim is on trial.

- He has three assault arrests. - Objection.

- He's broken into houses. - Objection.

- Spit at celebrities to provoke- - Objection.

The objections are sustained. This man's prior actions are not relevant.

But my client's state of mind is.

And many of the paparazzi, Mr. Rice included, are criminals.

Some very dangerous. Apparently Filipino street gangs have even gotten into the act. Why?

- Objection. - Because, ultimately, this is about vast amounts of money.

- Objection. - Sustained.

I fired you! And I was as expressly clear about that-

- As you are insane? - My daughter-

- Who contributed to the death- - No!

- Yes. - How dare you go behind my back.

- It's Hannah's call, not yours. - She's 16 years old!

Exactly. She's got her whole life ahead of her. Now three months is a good deal.

She could serve it over the summer, be back in time for school.

- As a convicted murderer? - Manslaughter.

- Oh, my God! - This is not about safeguarding her college transcript.

This is the best deal we can hope for. I got the D. A. to go along with us.

So for once in your life, just once, trust me.

Oh, is that what this is all about? Getting me to finally trust you?

Proving yourself to your big sister?

At the risk of jeopardizing our relationship any further, you got a friggin' problem.

- Oh. - For the past 16 years, your self-esteem...

has been inextricably bound up with this idea of having a perfect daughter.

Well, she's not perfect. Her r�sum�...

college transcript, and yes, even her record, they're all gonna be blemished.

But this does not have to destroy her life.

If she takes this to trial, she could go tojail for a year, maybe two.

You can't just wave your magic wand and make this go away.

I know I'm new here, and I really don't wanna make waves.

- What is the problem? - This.

Mario inadvertently found it in the trash.

- Mario? - Our night janitor.

Really lovely gentleman. Helpful.

I was so grateful when he found it. I thought I'd misplaced it.

But when I saw this-

I was taking videos of my coworkers to send to my family.

I left it in the kitchen. I guess I accidentally left it on video recording mode.

- And, well, this happened. - Oh, my.

Maybe Denise thought she was playing a practical joke...

but I just don't think it's all that funny.

Is that how the lawyers treat each other here?

- Certainly not. - I didn't think so.

But somebody should tell Denise because she is full of little pranks.

Other pranks?

Again, I'm really so uncomfortable with this.

But I went out to greet my clients, the Kohns...

in the lobby the other day- referrals from my old firm.

I was late, I admit, as they were scheduled on my personal calendar...

but since it was in the trash-

Anyway, I went out to get them and they were gone.

It turns out Denise took them.

Denise?

You understand, Miss Guttman, that by pleading guilty to involuntary manslaughter...

you stand convicted of a felony.

- Yes, sir. - Very well.

Miss Raines, the district attorney's office...

joins the recommendation of the defense for three months at Rotenberg?

We do, Your Honor. This is a very serious matter involving the loss of a human life.

But we are impressed by the defendant's remorse.

We're also mindful that she has no previous criminal record.

And we're satisfied that three months constitutes a just punishment.

Well, you might be satisfied, but I'm not.

See, I have to be cognizant not only of the death of Ryan Klein...

but also of the pandemic of pharming drug parties...

going on in every town all over this country, causing the loss of many lives.

Three months is an insult to those lives.

- Your Honor, this- - I'm talking, counsel.

The court rejects this and will not entertain any plea...

which causes Miss Guttman to serve less than three years.

- What? - Brad?

- I ask that Your Honor be recused. - Denied.

Now you wanna go to trial, fine. But you've got me.

Which means that I can impose sentence now or later.

I've received 17 death threats, the latest coming two weeks ago.

I also get thousands of letters from prison inmates...

pledging their love and planning to seek me out upon release.

And I get many inappropriate prurient letters from people on the outside as well.

Sometimes doctors, lawyers.

I've received three in the last day from one of my own lawyers.

You're clearly the object of a lot of adoration and obsession.

Which comes with celebrity and fame, I realize.

But this kind of fame- And add to that the Internet.

What does the Internet have to do with this?

With these celebrity stalker sites, everybody can become a member of the paparazzi.

I mean, they've all got cameras and e-mail access with their cell phones.

It's become simple to track my whereabouts.

Obsessive people know how to find me.

Which is why I got a permit and now carry a gun.

Which you were carrying with you the other night?

Yes. As I left the restaurant...

a man charged me in a dark alleyway.

I called for him to stop. He didn't.

I saw black metal in his hand. He raised it.

I thought he was carrying a gun. I reacted and shot first.

A lot of people track you...

follow you, wanna see you in person.

- That's the impression I'm getting. True? - Yes.

Most of these people, I'm guessing...

would be innocent fans wanting to get close to you.

- Also true? - Or aggressive photographers.

Yes. In fact, the other night when you arrived at the restaurant...

- you were met by a slew of paparazzi, weren't you? - Yes.

In fact, you had an altercation on your way into the restaurant that night, didn't you?

- Yes, I did. - You'd had enough, hadn't you?

- Objection. Your Honor. - This wasn't self-defense.

- You were pissed off. - I made an objection. - Sustained.

In particular, you had a vendetta against this man.

Objection. Hejust sustained the objection.

Miss Reese, you've encountered Mr. Rice before, haven't you?

I didn't recognize him at the time I shot him.

You didn't see him going into the restaurant?

I did. I didn't know it was him charging me in the alley.

You once got a restraining order against this man.

I didn't know it was him when I fired.

I see. You just got lucky?

- Objection. - Sustained.

Nothing further.

Courtney, you should've told me that you knew him.

I don't really know him. There's a handful of paparazzi who resort to terrorist tactics.

- You knew him to be one of them? - I didn't recognize him in the alley.

But you did recognize him on your way into the restaurant.

So you knew he was there. You'd had previous run-ins with him.

This could be construed that you targeted him.

- I didn't. - I believe you.

- Marry me. - Does he have a mental problem?

Yes. Are there any more surprises?

- Such as? - Like are you really a man?

- I could live with that. - Denny, go lust someplace else.

How many run-ins have you had with this particular photographer?

Several. Along with half a dozen other photographers.

But I didn't know it was him when I fired.

Right.

I sincerely hope the jury believes that...

otherwise, famous or not, you're going to prison.

There's nothing I can do. It's his call. You know that.

- Why did he do this? - I don't know.

- Did you tell him to? - Of course not!

- Is this about my Whistler trip? - Brad.

- What happened? - I called one of his former clerks.

EvidentlyJudge Devon lost a teenage daughter to a drug overdose.

- Maybe that's in play. I don't know. - Great.

But he's a good judge. He's a fair one. This seems way out of character.

Also, for what it's worth, the clerk gave me some additional backstory.

He had a little thing years ago with one of your partners.

- Who? - Shirley Schmidt.

Marlene says that you conveniently threw away her electronic planner...

the night before some of her more critical appointments.

Including the one with the Kohns.

First of all, I didn't poach her clients. I did her a favor.

And second of all, I didn't toss her precious little device so she'd miss her appointments.

I did it out of spite. Simple as that.

I have to say, Denise, that personally I am very disappointed.

- Paul, you know me. - Why else would I be disappointed?

With the partnership vote this close...

it amazes me that you would do something so stupid to jeopardize it.

Are you saying that-

What I'm saying is that as of this moment...

your chances of making partner have diminished.

It's within the sentencing guidelines.

It's not as if you can argue abuse of discretion.

Judges always allow joint recommendations.

But they're not bound by them, Brad. You know that.

- She's 16 years old. - Your only hope is to somehow get him recused.

But, honestly, I wouldn't know how.

I've been told that...

you had a relationship with this judge.

- Ah. - Shirley, I would never try to exploit this.

Sure you would. That's why you're here.

I don't know what else to do.

I won't get it overturned on appeal. I don't know what else to do.

She knew the paparazzi were there. She had an altercation on the way in.

She had to know it was possible that the man in the alley was a photographer.

They ambush her all the time. But what the hell?

She opened fire anyway. Figure in the darkness, boom.!

Shoot first. Ask questions later, I guess.

The truth is celebrities like Courtney Reese get away with things all the time.

Tickets to the Rolling Stones concert...

a table at a crowded restaurant with no reservation.

This is her life all day, every day. She gets away with things.

And so when a photographer...

tries to take her picture and she doesn't like it...

and she happens to have a particular grudge against this man...

she thinks she can get away with shooting him because fame is power.

This privilege is a sense of entitlement.

I'm sure none of you wanna live in a world...

where there's one set of laws for the famous people...

and another set for the rest of us.

The facts in this case do not say...

that Courtney Reese is an actress or a model or a world-famous celebrity.

The facts in this case say...

that she's a criminal...

who tried to murder somebody.

A neurobiologist at Duke University...

conducted an experiment...

where he gave a group of thirsty monkeys...

a choice of either having their favorite drink...

which was some sort of cherry juice concoction...

or of having the opportunity to look at pictures...

of the dominant celebrity monkey of their pack.

Despite their thirst and the allure of the cherry juice...

they chose to look at the pictures.

Apparently monkeys have a part of their brain...

that specifically responds to the thrill of celebrity.

As do we. Think about that for a moment.

Apart of our intricate, fantastic...

and powerful mental machinery...

specifically responds to Courtney Reese and others...

who have achieved her level of notoriety.

We have hundreds of magazines and Web sites...

to follow them, track them, stalk them.

Not to mention cultivate a public obsession for them.

It is totally and utterly out of control.

Her fear ofbeing followed...

or assaulted or even murdered is not an irrational one.

She receives threats on her life...

obsessive declarations of love...

psychotic musings...

about imagined relations or phantom encounters.

And because of celebrity stalker Web sites...

her movements and whereabouts can be tracked to the second.

That's the world she lives in.

So, what happened that night?

A man came towards her in the dark quickly.

She told him to stop. He didn't.

Fearing for her life, she acted to protect herself. She didn't shoot to kill.

She wounded him in the shoulder to stop his charge. She was afraid.

Was her fear reasonable?

Some years ago...

a young actress named Rebecca Schaeffer...

was shot and killed...

by a fan in front of her apartment building.

Monica Seles was stabbed in the back on a tennis court during a match.

Gianni Versace was gunned down as he stepped from his home in Miami.

George Harrison was stabbed in his home in the country.

John Lennon was shot four times in the back by a devoted fan...

as he was coming home in the evening with his wife.

Courtney Reese carried a gun with her...

because of all that had come before.

And she didn't want to be next.

That is reasonable.

Simon?

Ex parte, Shirley. You of all people should know better.

Yes. Let's file this meeting under that category then-

Things we should know better.

- A boy died. - So did a girl, 12 years ago.

- Is that in play? - You're out of line.

A wise man once said to me-

over a martini, I believe-

"You can take all the facts of a case...

"figure in all the lawyers, extenuating circumstances...

and still people forget in the end it all really comes down to thejudge. "

You said it with such a charming twinkle.

- I was trying to get laid. - And, boy, did you.

A case in my office has fallen into the hands of the wrong judge.

This ruling can't bring your daughter back, Simon.

But perhaps it can stop others from dying.

- Do you really believe that? - What I believe is none of your damn business.

- I came in to play nicely. - You're wasting your time, Shirley.

Actually, Simon, I'm not.

I'm prepared to audit your sentencing on drug cases to see if there's a pattern.

I am prepared to make it very public should there be a pattern.

I'm also willing to expose other patterns of a happily...

perhaps unhappily marriedjudge.

- Screw you. - You did that already.

Now you're doing it to a 16-year-old girl.

I will not allow for it, Simon.

I will bring down upon you the wrath of my entire firm...

for which you will be no match- No offense.

That squid. I need you to talk to Paul.

- Me? - Yeah. He respects you.

I'm not entirely sure that would be appropriate.

Why? Because we're sleeping together?

No. Because it's direct violation of firm policy.

I'm a partner. You're an associate. It just wouldn't look good.

Brad, this has nothing to do with our sex life.

It has to do with you knowing I am an excellent lawyer...

and I deserve to make partner.

It's as simple as that.

- You do deserve this. - Mm-hmm.

- I'll talk to him. - Thank you.

Paul, Shirley, listen. Before this gets twisted by the wrong person...

I just want you to know I am having sex with Brad.

While I did ask him to speak to you regarding partnership...

that has nothing to do with us having sex...

and everything to do with the fact I am an excellent attorney.

Is that clear?

My office, now.

So we just wait?

The judge said don't leave. That means the jury is probably close.

And if we lose...

how much time will I have to serve?

There's no telling.

A normal person would serve maybe three, four years.

But you're a figment.

I'm not sure what the sentence is for those.

How odd it must feel to be the object...

of so many strangers' dreams and wantings.

I have little doubt you're able to trade significantly on that.

But?

It has no currency with me.

Hmm.

Well, lucky for me, you're more convincing in the courtroom.

You don't believe me?

No, I do not.

All you ever really have to do is snap your fingers, right?

Oh, has it come to that?

You actually gonna make me snap?

As of five minutes ago, all of this nonsense has stopped-

the intrigue, the spying, the tattling, the games.

Marlene, don't turn your head away when I'm speaking of you.

Sorry, Shirley.

Ever since you arrived at this firm, there has been a current of spite.

It will stop as well. If it doesn't, consider it grounds for dismissal.

Marlene, leave.

Denise, stay.

- Denise, you will not be making partner. - What?

Regardless of all your other antics, the fact that you have slept with Brad...

exposes this entire firm to sexual harassment lawsuits.

That's absurd.

There are people sleeping with each other all over this law firm.

Alan Shore mated two women and had them trying to murder each other in the lobby.

You're comparing yourself to Alan Shore now? How low are you going here?

Shirley, don't you see? She is ruining our family!

This isn't a family.

It's a law firm.

So Marlene's getting my spot.

What spot?

Denise, when Marlene was hired here...

she brought in several major clients.

It was always our intention to make her partner.

Why did you think you were competing with her?

So that's it then?

I'm afraid so.

Hey, Guido.

Madame Foreperson, have you reached a verdict?

We have, Your Honor.

- Be strong. - I'll try.

This is L. A. It's always "not guilty. "

We, thejury, find the defendant, Courtney Reese...

not guilty.

Hah!

Ladies and gentlemen of thejury, this court would like to thank you for your service.

You are dismissed. This court is adjourned.

Denny?

There they are.!

Let's just keep moving.

- What about my statement? - I'll make the statement.

- My firm. - My coast.

You can both make statements. We'll wait for you in the witness room.

- Barry Goal. - Denny Crane.

Barry Goal.

Thank you.

My pleasure.

So what happens now?

You just hop on a plane and fly back to Boston?

Immediately.

Is it really so awful to admit that you're attracted to me?

No.

But?

Denny and I have a little arrangement.

He picked you first.

I see.

So if he happened to pick the love of your life first...

you would just go with it.

You're not the love of my life.

So far.

We're not gonna kiss, are we?

Denny's girl.

- In his mind. - Where it counts.

Cheek?

I'll give you a cheek.

So if I ever shoot anybody else?

You have my number.

So you're not dead?

Not yet.

You-You went away, and I didn't hear anything. Switzerland.

Are you dying? Are you better?

Well, they- they were very, very good.

But it was awful.

You wouldn't have liked to have seen me.

I was at least seven percent less cute.

Chocolate.

Mmm, this nonsense. I don't know what I was thinking.

Marlene and partnerships...

office politics, none of it matters.

Yeah. Whatever.

- Mmm. - Listen, uh-

You wanna marry me?

Shirley, the judge reconsidered. He gave us the three months.

- I'm glad to hear that. - Thank you. What'd you do?

I traded on an old friendship per your suggestion.

- I don't know what to say. - You said thank you. That covered it.

- Denny, you're back. - I am? I am.

- And I'm all here. - Congratulations on your big victory.

- It's all over the news. Married? - No.

- You tried. - I did.

- Where's Alan? - Around. He said he had something to take care of.

- I don't know. - Well, welcome back.

Shirley, this is a sweeps episode.

I'm not kissing you.

Shirley! I'm in my 70's.

I'm still a physical specimen, but you never know.

What if I dropped dead one day and you never got that last tonsil brushing?

You always present the most ethically challenging "what-iffers. "

Your loss... and mine.

Denny?

Just in case.

Mr. Shore!

- Springtime. - I'm going to rewrite that office manual.

Oh!

Denny, I'm gonna need a new glass top for my desk.

What happened to you?

- There was a spider in my office. - Shirley kissed me.

- Voluntarily? - Of course!

She still loves me. Maybe I should marry her.

Shouldn't you first get over Courtney?

Well, my interest in Courtney was mainly, mmm-

- Firearms? - Mmm.

- She'd shoot you in the end. - Perhaps before.

I really didn't love L. A.

- Full of false faux people. - You felt at home?

I did.

I used to love visiting L. A. because it was so la-la.

It made me appreciate Boston more.

But lately it seems the whole country is a little la-la.

Mmm, not the red states.

We're a bubblegum nation, Denny. Tinseltown especially.

There used to be a day...

when the pandering in our society was reserved for-

Politicians?

Maybe that's what bothers me. Hollywood has sunk to the level of Congress.

You ever wonder if you and I are la-la?

Don't be ridiculous. We're flamingos. And good ones.

At least one thing remains constant.

I do enjoy traveling with you.

And the best part is we always come home together.

To more travels, Denny.

- To the mountains. - Prairies.

- The whores. - America the beautiful.

Ahh!

- To next season, my friend. - Same night?

God, I hope.

You stinker.!