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You feel him
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before you see him.
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00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,600
It's hard to put one's finger on it,
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but there's a certain
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atmosphere to the room.
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It's been arranged that we should
meet,
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and then suddenly, quite suddenly,
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his plans had changed.
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00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,680
Of course, he was apologetic,
effusively.
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00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:56,000
His assistant was quite emphatic
about this, he's terribly sorry,
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and truly disappointed.
12
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:03,600
I was to know that he'd been looking
forward to our meeting very much.
13
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:04,880
But, unfortunately,
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he's had to go to Cannes.
15
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Third time he cancelled,
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I began to see that there was
method to his behaviour.
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It's not what you want to hear,
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but he's a clever, clever man.
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Fourth time, Edie telephones to say,
"He'll meet you at noon."
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And everyone is so...
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pleasant.
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His shirt is as crisp as the table
linen between us.
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He barely stands to greet me.
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He asks me if I'm hungry.
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I order tea.
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He seems surprised.
27
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:04,640
Is that chamomile?
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Could I try?
29
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,200
Is that nice?
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00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,480
His fingers curve around my cup,
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the most beautiful china teacup I
think I've ever seen.
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He drinks.
33
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He smiles.
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I always think of it as such a
feminine refreshment,
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but you've wowed me.
36
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I'm going to order that next time.
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Charming.
38
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He's really, very, very charming.
39
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Ugly, but charming.
40
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,480
First day, obviously, I was nervous.
41
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It wasn't a big role. I knew it
wasn't a big role,
42
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but I can do something with it.
43
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,840
That's what one is trained for.
44
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:08,560
To dig deep. To find the part.
45
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:13,200
I'm really very confident in my
capabilities with regards to this.
46
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But, still, there's something
they're just not happy with.
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They're just not happy with it.
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He won't even look at me.
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I can see him.
50
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,240
But he won't even speak to me.
51
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At six o'clock Edie calls,
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"he'd like to see you in his suite,
now.
53
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,600
"Just to run some lines."
54
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,520
I say, Edie, I've got four lines.
55
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Six in the second scene,
then nothing, and then...
56
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,080
"That's the scene he wants to talk
to you about."
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In my contract, of course, there's
a clause.
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00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,880
But we agreed the clause.
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00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,640
"Think of it more as a creative
conversation, darling.
60
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,360
"They are very pleased with you,
it's nothing to worry about."
61
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,040
Edie... "I'll call you.
62
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,640
"We'll speak soon as you get out."
63
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,600
I was six when my father walked out.
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00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,280
Eight when I realised he was never
coming back.
65
00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:19,600
I'd press my ear against the wall
and hear my mother crying all
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through the night.
67
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,680
My grandfather was a big influence
on me.
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Good.
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Good man.
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In many ways, yes, in all ways, he
was the father I never had.
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At school they called me rabbit, big
ears, big boobs, big teeth,
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all a bit sticking out.
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I hated it.
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One day my grandfather found me
crying, mucky faced,
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I can't remember what it was about.
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But he could see.
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"What are you crying about?"
78
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"They call me rabbit, Grandad."
79
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,160
And what happened to the timid
rabbit?
80
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,920
Edie, can't I meet him in the lobby?
81
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,600
"Darling, the sooner you go, the
sooner you'll be back."
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I take the lift to the seventh
floor, he's taken the whole floor.
83
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,920
When he comes to the door,
84
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,440
I'm relieved to see we're not alone.
85
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:28,840
There's a woman, not much older than
me, she's on the telephone.
86
00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:30,160
I smile at her.
87
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She doesn't look.
88
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He asks if I'd like to sit down.
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When I look again, the woman's gone.
90
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I can hear the click of the door
behind her.
91
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:51,640
And now it's just him and me.
92
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He smiles.
93
00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:57,120
"Come and sit down.
94
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,760
"I want to talk you through the
scene tomorrow."
95
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,040
I can feel the bristles of the
chair.
96
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,200
"It's so important we're all on the
same page.
97
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"You're OK with that?"
98
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,040
"Absolutely, of course."
99
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:15,880
He crosses the room.
100
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,000
"He'll be standing here.
101
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:22,320
"And you'll be there.
102
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,480
"Open your legs a little wider."
103
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"Is that OK?"
104
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"Yes," I reply.
105
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,600
"I'm talking it through with you
first,
106
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"to make it easier on the day."
107
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,040
And in my mind,
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I tell myself
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that this is considerate.
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It's all going to be OK.
111
00:06:57,920 --> 00:06:58,960
"Lean forward."
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00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:02,760
I feel faint.
113
00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,840
But I do it anyway.
114
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:09,640
"Mike will be behind you, like this.
115
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He'll move his hand up and under."
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And now his left hand is around my
breast,
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and with the fingers of his right
hand,
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he's pushed past the front of my
underwear,
119
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and is sticking the middle digit
inside of me.
120
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Jabbing it in, and out, in and out,
again and again, again and again.
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I feel nothing.
122
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"Is that OK?"
123
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And I say...
124
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"Yes."
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There's a smell of hotel air
freshener and toothpaste on his
breath.
126
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"You like it?"
127
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And I realise, in this moment,
128
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,960
that it doesn't matter if I like it.
129
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:15,600
It doesn't matter if I like any of
it.
130
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,560
He's going to do what he's going to
do anyway.
131
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,720
One day, there was a ferocious lion.
132
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,400
And every animal in the jungle
feared him.
133
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,080
Finally, a deal was struck.
134
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:19,200
Each day, one animal would go
willingly to the lion's lair,
135
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,760
to be his supper.
136
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:26,320
In return, the lion agreed he would
never hunt again.
137
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:32,560
Finally, it was the timid rabbit's
turn.
138
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She shook as she climbed the mossy
stairs
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that led to the lion's tree
top lair.
140
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"Why are you late?"
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the lion roared,
142
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looking down at the shaking rabbit.
143
00:09:54,200 --> 00:10:00,440
For a moment, the rabbit did not
know if she had the courage to say
144
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,720
what she wanted to say.
145
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,680
But, somewhere, there was a voice
saying,
146
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:09,640
"Do it.
147
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:10,680
"If you dare.
148
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:16,240
"Think of all the other timid
rabbits,
149
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"who could not be so brave."
150
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:27,160
So the rabbit turns to the fearsome
lion,
151
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even though she did so shake.
152
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:41,160
"I'm sorry, I'm so late, but on the
way I met another lion."
153
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,880
"Another lion?
154
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,760
"What other lion, in my jungle?
155
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"Where is his lair?
156
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"I am the king of this forest.
157
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:50,760
"Take me there."
158
00:10:53,680 --> 00:11:01,440
And so the timid rabbit led the lion
into the forest, to a shady part,
159
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:05,400
close to a deep, deep well.
160
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:21,640
When I come to, I am lying face down
on the carpet.
161
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:29,840
My knickers are torn and caught
around my shoe.
162
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,560
The dried blood caked around my
vagina,
163
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,840
and a cut in my anus, where his
thumbnail
164
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,760
has jabbed me so hard, he's broken
the skin.
165
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:52,480
His robe is resting on the floor of
the bathroom.
166
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:58,160
He must have showered, and dressed
while I slept.
167
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:14,120
And a mad thought comes to me.
168
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,440
I can take what I want from the
minibar.
169
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,280
This man has just raped me, so I can
take what I want.
170
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:23,600
But I don't.
171
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,640
I lie there...
172
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,120
..hoping that if I just wait,
173
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:34,000
if I just lie there,
174
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,240
then someone will come.
175
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,720
Someone will say,
176
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,840
"Timid rabbit,
177
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,160
"get up.
178
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,520
"Be brave."
179
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:59,960
For a moment, the fearsome lion
could not believe what he saw.
180
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,720
For there was a lion,
181
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:08,480
staring back at him with fearsome
glare.
182
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:13,480
Terrified for a moment, the lion
roared.
183
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:17,120
"I alone am ruler of this jungle."
184
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,320
He roared again.
185
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,560
Once more, his echo answered him.
186
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:27,520
"I alone am king of this place."
187
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:39,280
The lion staring back at him roared
louder, again, and again, and again.
188
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:45,680
The more the lion roared, the more
the lion became enraged, until,
189
00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:48,920
so determined was he to kill those
who stood in front of him,
190
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,200
he could not see the game.
191
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:55,520
Charging into the face of the
fearsome beast roaring back at him,
192
00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:01,440
he fell, sinking down, and down, and
down, deep, deep into the well,
193
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:05,040
until he was never heard of again.
194
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:22,240
"Edie, hello, Edie, it's me.
195
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,000
"I don't know if you can hear me,
but..."
196
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,440
"Hello, darling."
197
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:33,920
I can hear her,
198
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,760
on the other end of the line.
199
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:40,920
You ran the scene?
200
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,360
She's barely awake.
201
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,280
"Didn't I say it would be OK?"
202
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,400
"Darling, are you still there?
203
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,280
"Darling, I can't hear you, darling,
speak up, sweetheart,
204
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:57,600
"if you have something to say."
205
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:09,200
"Edie."
22045
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