Original subtitles

["Jin9le Bell Rock" playing]

Jinglc hcll, jinglc hcll Jinglc hcll rock

Jinglc hclls swing Andjinglc bclls ring

Snowin ' and hlowin' up bushcls of fun

Now thc jinglc hop has bcgun

Jinglc hcll, jinglc hcll Jinglc hcll rock

Jinglc hclls chimc in jinglc hcll timc

Dancin' and prancin ' ln Jinglc Bcll Squarc

ln thc frosty air

What a hright timc lt's thc right timc

To rock thc night away

Jinglc hcll timc is a swcll timc

To go glidin ' in a one-horsc slcigh

Giddyap, jinglc horse Pick up your fcct

Jingle around thc clock

Mix and a-minglc in thc jinglin' hcat

That's thc jinglc hcll rock

Jinglc hcll, jinglc hcll Jinglc hcll rock

Jinglc hclls chimc in jinglc hcll timc

Dancin' and prancin ' ln Jinglc Bcll Squarc

ln thc frosty air

What a hright timc

lt's thc right timc To rock thc night away

Jinglc hcll timc is a swcll timc

To go glidin ' in a one-horsc slcigh

Giddyap, jinglc horse Pick up your fcct

Jingle around thc clock

Mix and a-minglc in thc jinglin' hcat

That's thc jinglc hcll rock

Jinglc hcll, jinglc hcll Jinglc hcll rock

Jinglc hclls chimc in jinglc hcll timc

Dancin' and prancin ' ln Jinglc Bcll Squarc

ln thc frosty air

[dog barking]

[children] Surprise! Surprise!

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dcar Daddy

Happy birthday to you

Make a wish !

I wish ...

-I'm nof gon' tell you . -Oh , come on .

-BIow 'em out! Yay! -[all cheering]

Oh, honey, happy birthday.

Gimme sugar.

Give me some sugar, girl .

[chuckles] One more candle and fhe smoke alarm would've gone off.

-Oh. -[chuckling]

-Big 5-0. -[both chuckling]

You know what? Your beard's getting gray.

Kind of makes you Iook old.

But that's all right, though. 'Cause I still Iove ya.

[chuckles] Bye, Pa.

[birds squawking]

[host on TV] Scnd thc postcard to: Contcstants, Family Feud,

that's in Hollywood, California.

That's ninc, douhlc 0, two, eight. Thank you.

[advertiser on Tv] Govcrnmcnt standards would allow mc

to call this a Gradc-A chickcn, but my standards wouldn 't.

[groans]

[advertiser] lt's skinny, it has scrapcs and hairs.

[coughs, groans]

Thc fact is, my gradcrs rcjcct 30% of thc chickcns

govcrnmcnt gradcrs acccpt as Gradc-A.

That's why it pays to insist on a chickcn with my name on it.

Ifyou'rc not complctcly satisficd,

writc mc, and I'll givc you your moncy hack.

Who do you. . . What do thcy know ahout chickcns?

-[game show host] Two answcrs rcmain. Jan? -[contestant 1 ] Cook.

-[contestant 2] Cook! Say cook! -[contestant 1 ] Cook, cook, cook.

[buzzer chimes]

[contestant 3] Wcll. Cook.

[host] Sal, hig lead. lf not, thcy'rc cvcn gamc.

Cookl

-[buzzer chimes] -[urinating]

-[bell dinging] -[contestants cheering]

-[dinging] -[burps]

-Six. -[contestants chattering]

-Morning . Hi , Mrs. Murtaugh . -Hi .

-Morning, troops. -[both] Where's Rianne?

-She's upstairs. -[both] Okay.

-Good morning. -Good morning.

-Aha! -Hey, that's my bacon.

Well, if's mine now.

Hey, don't you close doors around here?

Baby, what's this on my tie?

That is an ugly spot.

Thanks. Sharp as a tack.

[Trish]I'm thinking of going on Jcopardy.

AII right. Just don't take any questions about cooking.

[Trish] Don't step in the egg!

[groans]

Where's my thinking? I should have checked the floor for egg!

-[Trish] Honey. -[clears throat]

Do you know a man named , uh , Michael Hunsaker?

Michael Hunsaker?

Jesus! Michael Hunsaker.

-Whaf did he want? -Your office called .

He's been trying to reach you for three days now.

[scoffs] I haven't talked to him in ...

[whistles] . . .twelve years!

Huh . Well , no, wait a minute.

That would make me ...

Fiffy!

So that means that you're ...

Uh .

We're not gonna discuss that.

-Forget the eggs. -Okay.

-Roger? -Yeah, baby?

How come I never heard of Michael Hunsaker?

Uh , I just never talked about him, huh.

-[slurps] Hmm. -vietnam buddy?

-Uh, yeah . -[mewing]

Hey, eat your own cake. Vietnam buddy.

-[daughter] Daddy? -Yeah, baby?

Nick and the kids Ieft without me.

He Ieft withouf you?

-Come on, I never get enough of my baby. -[Rianne yelling , indistinct]

Daddy, this is my New Year's Eve dress. Don't you like it? Isn't it cool?

-It's beautiful. -Thanks. [chuckles]

Have a good birthday.

Goddamn heartbreaker.

[cheering on Tv]

[host on TV] Hey. A lot ofpcoplc think this is thc Supcr Bowl.

I know they'rc wrong. You know thcy're wrong. Rcady whcn you arc.

Asking you how much would you cxpcct to pay for somcthing likc this?

Wcll, you'd bc wrong. . . [muttering] . . .offcr you a Supcr Bowl offcr.

A Supcr Bowl valuc on sclcctcd itcms. But wait, thcrc's morc.

How much would you cxpect to pay for somcthing Iike this?

[sighs]

I'll buy you a new one.

[bones cracking]

Perfect. [chuckles] Happy fiftieth , Rog.

[officer on radio] All units, 14-N-35, shooting in progrcss.

Vcnicc Bcach, Washington and Navy. Thrcc down.

-RA cn routc . . . -[siren wailing]

4-King-3-2, en route to the sniper call .

[siren stops]

-[gunfire] -[officer 1 ] Everybody down!

[officer 2] Get down !

[gunfire continues]

Look who's here.

[bullets ricochet]

[officer 3] Gef outta here!

What do you got here?

-Sniper, sir. -Yeah, but what's he doing?

Shooting kids. One officer's down .

-[gunfire] -The guy's a nightmare, sir.

They're still inside and we can't get to him.

You got SWAT team coming in?

-No ETA. -Yeah?

-Well , I'll see you around . -[kid crying]

[parent] Let me fhrough! Let me through ! [screaming]

-[officer 3] Paramedics! -What about the other children?

[officer 3] Nine years old .

Nine?

[gunfire]

-How good a shot is this guy? -What do you mean?

I mean does he shoot at random? Does he shoot specific kids, um ...

-He missed one. -He shot at random.

-You make the weapon? -Automatic and loud .

Hosta9es or anyfhing Iike fhat up there?

-Not that we know of. -Okay.

-Hey. -Where you going?

-Riggs! -[gunfire]

Get the hell back here.

Riggs!

Get down! You're in the line of fire. Get down .

[officer in distance] What are you , crazy?

Get outta here!

Hello?

Mr. Sniper, sir.

Get away!

[bullets ricochet]

I'm sfill here, asshole.

Or do you only do kids?

Shut up!

[officer in distance] Hold , hold !

-[police radio chatter] -CIear the area!

You're one psycho son of a bitch, but you're good .

[officer on radio] Wc got a 1 0-41, wc havc a drunk,

whitc fcmalc, approximatcly 5 fcct tall,

350 pounds, at Thrcc Clubs Bar, Vinc and Melrosc. Drunk...

-Happy birthday, Rog! -[chatter on radio continues]

Unit 27 rcsponding, 10-31, family fight in ...

-Lay off me. -. . .you've got a spot on your tie.

What do we got here?

Oh, we got a, uh, hooker.

No, it's Dixie. Would you please tell these bozos to lay off, please?

Hey, hey, you bozos, Iay off.

Had a jumper here last night. Dixie was walking by, saw the whole thing.

You got a statement from her, send her home.

Oh, thanks. I'm beat. You know how it is.

Yeah, sure. [chuckles]

All dressed up and no one fo blow. [chuckles]

You're hilarious! I can't believe you damn cops!

Uh, the jumper's name is Amanda Hunsaker.

Age 22, prostitute.

Let's see: One arrest, no convictions. Born in Tennessee.

-Parents. . . -Wh-What was the name?

-Hunsaker. -Yeah, yeah. The parents.

Oh , parents.

-Michael and Claire. -CIaire.

You know 'em?

Right. Find out who bought it, who's. . . who's paying fhe bills.

That'II take some Iooking into.

So look!

Yeah .

[radio chatter continues]

-Hello, honey. -[Trish] Hi, honcy.

Yeah. Give me the number for Michael Hunsaker.

- Thc man we talkcd ahout? -What?

- Your Victnam buddy? -Yeah, yeah .

-You just mentioned him this morning . - What's wrong?

-His daughter just dove out a window. -Oh, my God. That's tcrrihlc.

-Yeah . - 135-1 ...

I gof it.

[groans]

Hey.

Good , huh? Tasty? Smooth?

Yeah , that's good .

-You better fucking believe it. -Here's your beer, pal.

Thanks. Okay, so Iet's do it. How much?

How much for how much?

For all of it.

-You want it all? -Yeah .

-He wants it all . [chuckles] -He wants it all, beautiful .

AII right! Congratulations.

Maybe a nice six-footer to put it under?

[chuckles] You want a tree?

Yeah . [chuckles]

I'Il tell you what.

I'll give you the best tree I got on the Iot for nothing .

[customer chuckles] Hey, thanks.

But the shit's gonna cost you, um ...

-A hundred . -What, that much?

Hey, you said you liked it, thaf's a fair price.

Yeah, yeah. Hell, you only Iive once.

[chuckling]

-Get fhis together here. -[chuckling]

Twenty, 40, 50, 70 ...

-Hey, what the fuck? -Hey, man!

-[customer] Eighty-five, 90 . . . -Hey!

Come on , shut up, man , I'm Iosing count.

-[coins clinkin9] -Ninety-three, 94, 95, 96 ...

Forget it, you dumb shit. One hundred thousand!

One hundred thousand dollars!

[dealer] Did you hear whaf he said?

A hundred thousand? I . . . [scoffs]

I'm sorry, I can't afford that. Not on my salary.

But Iook, I'll tell you what. I got a better idea. Here.

Now, Iet me say I , uh ,

I take the whole stash off your hands for free ...

-and you assholes can go to jail . -Oh, hey, whoa.

What do you say about that?

Now, I could read you guys your rights,

but nah, you guys already know what your righfs are, don't ya?

[scoffs]

-[chuckles] -This badge ain't real .

And you ain't real .

Oh, you sure are a crazy son of a bitch .

-[all chuckling] -[dealer] Yeah .

-You think I'm crazy? -[both] Yeah .

You calling me crazy? You think I'm crazy?

-[dealers] Yeah. -Yeah?

You wanna see crazy? I'II show you . . . [blabbering]

[blabbers]

Now that's a real badge, I'm a real cop, and this is a real fucking gun.

Okay, pal.

-Hey, noses in the dirt, asshole. -[gun cocks]

[screams]

-[gunshots] -[groaning]

Where's your buddy? Where's your buddy?

[sirens wailing]

Whaf do you gof, Riggs?

There's three down and one loose in here.

He's gof black hair and a red shirt.

[officer 1 ] Okay, Iet's 9o.

[officer 2] . . .outside. Come on .

Freeze! Freeze! Give me the gun ! Up, up!

-How's if feel, sucker? -Drop it!

-Hey, shoot him ! -Drop it, prick.

Hey, shoot him! Shoot him, shoot him!

-Shut the fuck up! -Somebody shoot this prick!

-Freeze! -Shoot him!

-Shoot him! -Shut down!

Shoot him! Somebody shoof this prick!

Shoot me. Shoot me.

-Shoof me. Shoot me. -Shut up...

I'm warning you ! I'm going to shoot you .

-Shoot me! Shoot him! -Goddamn it!

-Shoot me, shoot me, shoot me . . . -Shut the fuck up! Shut up!

-Shoot me! Shoot him! -Shut up! Shut up!

[grunts]

[muftering]

[officer 2] Get him out of there.

-[growls] -It ain't worth it, man .

[cop 1 ] Read his rights.

[cop 2] You have the right to remain silent...

Anything you say can be used against you in a court of Iaw.

[dog barks]

Thanks, Jim.

Come on, Sam. Attaboy. Attaboy.

Hey, guys.

Up you go, Sam. Come on . Come on.

[grunts] How you been there, Sam, huh?

You catch some mice today?

What kind of a day did you have?

No, you haven't been doing anything , you Iazy son of a bitch .

Come on . I'll get you a sandwich, 'cause that's all there is.

A beer for me.

-Looks Iike turkey. -[Sam whimpers]

I got us a surprise here.

Thirteen-inch color TV set.

We can watch reruns of Lassic together.

Hey, wait up already!

Whoo!

[TV playing, indistinct]

[on TV] Dcck the halls with boughs of holly

Fa la la la la, la la la la

'Tis thc scason to bc jolly

- Fa la la la la, la la la la -[Sam] Stop. Stop thc music.

Don wc now our gay apparcl

-[Sam] Stop! No mcans stop! Nol - Fa la la la la, la la la la

Dcck the halls with boughs of holly

Fa la la la la, la la la la

'Tis thc scason to bc jolly

Fa la la la la, la la la la

[Porky Pig stuttering] Don wc now our gay apparcl

Fa la la la la, la la la la

[Bugs Bunny] Thank you.

[Porky Pig stuttering] You mcan, that's all folks?

[Bugs Bunny] Prcciscly.

Do you wanna try it, Foggy?

[Foggy] Ycah. Givc mc thc notc.

[Foggy] Don wc now our gray

[Foggy stuttering]

[Bugs Bunny] Hcy, uh, how about you, Sam?

Uh, pick it up from the fa la las.

[Sam] l don't fa Ia la for nobody, you lop-carcd carrot crusher.

[Bugs Bunny] You care to try it, Pcpc?

[Pepe singing in French] Aloucttc Gentillc aloucttc, aloucttc

[Bugs Bunny] Pcpc, hold it, doc. That's not right.

Hmm. Gucss l bcttcr do this mysclf.

Okay, you guys comc in on the fa la las.

Don wc now our gay apparcl

[all] Fa la la, la la la, la la la

[Bugs Bunny] Troll thc ancicnt Yuletidc carol

[all] Fa la la la la, la la la la

[Bugs Bunny speaks indistinctly]

[gun cocks]

Mcrry Christmasl Dcck thc halls!

Joyous Yulctidc!

[groans]

[Looney Tunes continues indistinctly]

[cries]

[cries]

I miss you ...

[cries] . . .Victoria Lynn.

[cries, sighs]

Hey, that's silly, isn't it?

I'll see you later.

-[glass shatters] -I'II see you much Iater.

-Once more with feeling on three. -[humming]

-One, and two. . . Damn it, Cooley. -Si--

-Do it on three, or go on the street. -Come on.

Okay, Sarge, okay.

-[all humming] -One, and two, and ...

Silcnt night

Are you telling me you think Riggs is playing some kind of a game here?

Sure. He wants the cash .

I've seen it 1 00 times. But he'll come around.

That's a very dangerous attitude to take, Captain.

May I remind you that his wife of 11 years was recently killed in a car accident.

He's also been known to pull his gun when he shouldn't--

-I know all about Riggs, Doc. -The man-- Not enough.

-He's a tough basfard, all righf? -He's on the edge, sir.

I'm felling you , he may be psychotic.

[sighs] That's a bunch of psych bullshit.

Really? Well , you're making a mistake by keeping him in the field , okay?

The man is suicidal .

And you're sure of that diagnosis? You have no doubts?

You know that?

-No. There are no absolutes in life. -Right.

-Of course not. It can't be the end. -End of discussion . We're going to wait.

We can't wait, sir.

Then if he offs himself, then we'II know I was wrong.

You're making a mistake, because if you're wrong--

Excuse me.

[sighs]

Asshole!

You know, Roger, you're way behind the times.

The guys in the '80s aren't tough . They're sensitive people.

They show their emotions around women and shit Iike that.

[cops singing]

-I think I'm an '80s man . -How do you figure?

Last night, I cried in bed . So, how's that?

[indistinct police chatfer]

Were you with a woman?

I was alone. Why do you think I was crying?

Merry Christmas.

Sounds like an '80s man to me.

Yeah .

-Got some news on the Hunsaker case, Rog . -That was quick.

So was the autopsy. They're not calling it a suicide.

What?

[detective] Surprise, surprise.

First off, Coroner found evidence she used barbiturates.

Mmm . Brilliant detective work.

There were pills all over the place.

Right, right. That-That's not the surprise.

Surprise is someone doctored the pills.

[Roger] Jesus.

[detective] Every capsule was Ioaded with drain cleaner. If she hadn't jumped ,

-she'd have been dead inside 1 5 minutes. -This case stinks.

Hey, Rog. Uh , you know, you looked younger with the beard .

Thanks, Captain .

Oh , yeah . You shaved the beard .

Some detective.

-There are fwo more things. -Shoot.

[defective] First, condition of the sheets and the mattress indicate

that someone else was in bed with Amanda just before she died . That's A.

What's B?

B is, I'm supposed to tell you you're breaking in a new partner in on this.

Partner again?

Yeah, some cat who's on loan from Dope.

Real burnout, on the ragged edge.

Oh , perfect.

-Gun! -[people clamoring]

[grunts]

Rog, meet your new partner.

Oh, I'm too old for this shit.

There are those that say you're a good cop.

I try.

I heard about the little stunt yesterday.

Pretty heroic.

I pulled your file.

Said you worked in the Phoenix project in Vietnam . Is that right?

-Uh-huh . -Assassinafion stuff.

-It's over, you know. -[sirens wailing]

What is?

-The war. -Ah, yes, I know.

Huh . Just thought I'd remind you .

That's some serious shit you carry.

Be my guest.

[gun cocks]

Hmm.

Nine-millimeter Beretta.

Takes 1 5 in the mag, one up the pipe.

Wide ejection port,

no feed jams.

What you got in there?

Four-inch Smith .

Six-shooter, huh?

A Iot of old-timers carry those.

File also said you're heavy into martial arts.

Tai chi and all that, uh, killer stuff.

I suppose we have to register you as a Iethal weapon .

[chuckles] Hey, Iook, friend , Iet's just cut the shit.

Now, we both know why I was transferred.

Everybody fhinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm fucked,

and nobody wants to work with me.

They think I'm faking to draw psycho pension,

in which case, I'm fucked, and nobody wants to work with me.

Basically, I'm fucked .

-Guess what? -What?

-I don't want to work with you . -Hey, don't.

Ain't got no choice.

Looks Iike we bofh are fucked .

Terrific.

God hates me. Thaf's what it is.

Hate Him back. It works for me.

[engine starts]

[music playing indistinctly]

Good afternoon , Mr. Mendez.

Yeah , how you doing?

Did you pat him down , Mr. Larch?

Oh, hey, man . We went through this act already.

Go through it again .

Who are you?

That's hardly important, but if it matters,

you may call me Mr. Joshua.

Let's go.

Oh, great. Swell . Mr. Joshua, huh?

[rock music playing]

Ooh, la, la, la, la

General, Mr. Mendez is here.

[manager] Hold it, hold it, hold it! Hold it, hold it.

-[music stops] -You call this music?

I can get a band ten times as good for half the price.

I'm gonna pack this place tonight. I don't wanna hear any of this shit.

Lef's get it right.

-[rock music playing] -Mr. Mendez, how are you?

Hey. I'm fine.

Where the hell did you get him? Psychos "R" Us?

I don't think you're funny.

I don't think this whole goddamn setup's funny.

You're using mercenaries, for Chrissake. Tell me I'm wrong .

No, you're not wrong .

[scoffs] And you expect me to trust these fucking bozos?

My people are Ioyal , Mr. Mendez. They are loyal to me.

[chuckles] Bullshit.

Do you smoke?

What the hell has that got to do with anything?

-Do I smoke? -Do you smoke?

Yeah .

[General] Give me your Iighfer.

-My-my Iighter? -[General] Your Iighter!

Yeah , okay, yeah. Right here.

Here. Take it.

Hey, man ! What the fuck is wrong with you guys?

-Shut your mouth! Shut up! -Come on. Jesus Chr--

And don't move.

Ah, hey, man .

Mr. Joshua, your leff arm, please.

Oh , hey. . . You-you guys are fucking gone. You know what I'm saying?

Oh, Jesus Christ, man!

[Mendez] You 9uys are fucking crazy, man . Come on , man !

Have Endo Iook at that, Mr. Joshua.

[sighs] Yes, sir.

You wish to do business with us, yes?

Jesus Christ! [breathing heavily]

You wish to make a purchase, yes?

Uh , yeah . Yes, yes! Jesus Christ, yes.

Yeah .

You know, you guys are out there Iike fucking PIuto, man . You're gone!

The bulk of the heroin will be here Friday night.

We'II make delivery at that time.

Have the money ready, and no tricks.

If you try anything , you'II have to talk to Mr. Joshua.

Yeah, right. Joshua. Yeah, right. I got you , yeah.

Merry Christmas.

Yeah, right. M-M-Merry Christmas to you , too, pal.

Mike,

the autopsy report showed fhat Amanda was poisoned .

Even if she hadn't jumped , she'd still be dead .

She was murdered .

Murdered?

Jesus!

I can't take this. I just can't take this.

-[Mike, softly] I can't take this. -Mike...

Why did you try to get in touch with me?

Well, I heard that you were ...

Somebody told me you were workin9 out here.

I thoughf maybe you could get her ouf.

[Roger] Get her out of what?

Get her ouf of the stuff she was into.

She was making , uh . . . videotapes.

Pornographic...

...videotapes, and I thought...

I thought maybe you could . . . you could just get her out. Help her.

[Mike sobs]

[sighs] Easy, Mike. Easy.

[breathes shakily] You owe me, Roger.

Remember?

Yeah .

I remember.

I want you to find whoever's responsible for this,

however many of them there are.

PIease. I know you can do it. Just find them and kill them.

Mike, I'm a police officer.

I don't give a shit you're a police officer, Roger!

-[shushes] -I know you're a fucking police officer!

Kill them! Just kill them !

Wait. Wait, Rog , Rog.

Come on . You find them. You find them and you kill them .

You can do that. You owe me.

Yeah .

I owe you .

Gotta go, man .

Hey, what did he mean when he said you owed him?

Uh , we served together in 1 965.

La Drang Valley. Saved my Iife.

Took a bayonet in the lungs.

Well, that was nice of him.

Yeah, I thought so.

-Want me to drive? -You're supposed to be suicidal , remember?

Anybody who drives in this town is suicidal .

[dispatcher] All units, 78-21.

Possiblc jumpcr at thc corncr of Santa Monica and Orlando.

78-21, handlc codc two.

All units, comc in, plcasc. All units.

Gotcha!

[stammers] Hey, what's the number of your car?

Uh , 3-William-56.

Three-William-56 en route.

God , I Iove this job! It's so exciting!

[dispatcher] Wc copy. Policc psychologist on thc way.

[Martin] Hey, boss, can we put the sirens on, huh? Can we?

[sirens wailing]

[car horns honking]

[officer at scene] Can you step back for me? Thank you.

Hey, guys! I'm glad you're here.

-And where's the psychologist? -Sitting in the traffic.

Swell . And who is this guy?

Salesman . Name's McCleary.

He was at some office party, walked upstairs, and went oufside.

-You think he'Il go? -Seems serious enough. Who knows?

-[sighs] -AII right. Can you move, please?

-I can handle this. -Are you qualified to talk to jumpers?

-I've done it before. -Okay, you're elected .

Hey, hey. No 9uns, no jujitsu , just bring him down .

-Roger. -What?

-Uh, 1 0-4. -Oh.

[officers speaking indistinctly]

[businessman] Get back here.

-Who are you? -Riggs, homicide.

Yes, sir. He's ri9ht over there on the edge.

[officer] Get behind the police Iine. Thank you.

-Merry Christmas. -[gasps]

[gasps] Leave me alone! PIease, Ieave me alone! Leave me alone!

-Why are you doing this? -None of your goddamn business!

Fair enough . Um ...

Look, I'm . . . I'm just gonna come out there, okay?

No! No, don't you . . . You touch me, I'm gonna jump!

-Stay there! You come out, I'm jumpin9! -[stammers] Take it easy, for Chrissake!

[Martin] I don't like this any better than you do.

I'm scared too, okay? I can't stand heights.

This makes me dizzy, all right?

Just give me a chance fo calm down.

I just wanna talk to you, okay? I just wanna talk.

[panting]

I'm just gonna stand out here on the ledge with you .

No, don't go. Not out on the Iedge.

Uh, you know, you're not the first guy to think of this, you know.

Uh , a Iot of people have got problems, especially during the silly season.

-You know shit! -No, you're wrong, pal . You're wrong .

You don't know nothing! Don't touch me!

-Take it easy! -Look, I didn't do anything wrong!

I know that. It's not Iike you're murdering anyone or anything.

[both] That's right!

[Martin] Same way...

-The only one hurt is me! Me! -Same way I look at it.

That's right. I know you're hurting. I get it.

-Okay. Now, come on . -Don't come near me!

Come on. Oive me a break, will you? My boss is down there watching me

so I gotta make it look at least Iike I'm trying to save you , okay?

Come on .

It's . . . I'm just gonna stand here and talk to you . That's all.

You won't. . . You won't try nofhing?

No, no. I'm square with you. I won't try a damn thing .

You think I want to fall off?

I promise, I'II just talk to you .

Okay. Okay. AII right.

Here, you want a . . . you want a cigarette?

Come on , let's smoke, okay?

-Yeah . -Go on, fake it. Yeah .

Take our time and both die of cancer.

[siren wailing]

Here.

-[Martin] Hate you to Ieave without me. -Hey! What are you doing?

-Oh , no. -What are you doing?

See this key?

Bye bye.

-You're crazy! -Now, you can jump if you want to,

but you'd be taking me with you , and that makes you a murderer, okay?

-Come on. Let's go. -You bastard !

-Yeah, you'd be killing a cop. -I'd be killing a psycho nut cop!

A psycho, but I'm still a cop. You coming? Come on, I'm going.

-Fuck you! I'm jumping! -Do you really wanna jump?

Do you wanna?

Well , then, that's fine with me. Come on!

-Let's do it, asshole. Let's do it. -Wait a minute.

-I wanna do it. I wanna do it. -What. . . Wait, man. Whaf do you mean?

[both screaming]

[crowd screaming]

Oh, shit!

-Fuck! Help! -[grunts]

[Martin] Wanna go up again? Let's go again .

Come on , it was great. [chuckling]

-Help me! Help me Ioose! -[cheering]

He's fucking trying to kill me!

Did you see fhat? He's out of his mind ! He's crazy!

He tried to kill me! [clamoring indistinctly]

Hey, those are my cuffs. I want them back.

Don't you touch me!

Hey, what the fuck did you just do?

I controlled the jump! You wanted him down? He's down!

-Hey, come here! -Come where?

Here wifh me!

[officer over radio] Nothing morc to scc. Party's ovcr.

Just go on homc.

-[grunts] -Hey, whoa!

Get in here!

[grunts]

[breathes heavily]

Hey, oh , okay, clown . No bullshit!

-You want to kill yourself? -Oh , for Chriss--

Shut up! Yes or no? You want to die? Yes or no?

I got the job done! What the hell do you want?

Just answer fhe question!

What do you want to hear, man?

Do you wanna hear that sometimes I think about eating a bullet?

Huh? Well , I do!

I do. I even got a special one for the occasion, with a hollow point.

Look. Make sure it blows the back of my goddamn head out. Do the job right.

Every single day, I wake up and I think of a reason not to do it.

Every single day.

And you know why I don't do it? This is gonna make you laugh.

You know why I don't do it?

The job. Doing the job. Now, that's the reason .

-You want to die! -I know. I'm not afraid of it.

I ain't afraid of it.

Here, take my gun .

Don't nibble on the barrel , pull the trigger.

Go ahead, pal .

Be my guest! Go ahead if you're serious!

You shouldn't tempf me, man .

Put it in your mouth .

Bullet may go through your. . . your ear and not kill you .

-Yeah. Under the chin's just as good ! -Yeah , under the chin!

[barrel clicks]

Ow!

You're not trying to draw a psycho pension .

You really are crazy.

[breathing heavily]

I'm hungry.

I'm gonna go and get something to eat.

[sirens wailing]

Fuck. [breathing shakily]

Shit.

Oh , God .

[psychologist] l don 't know. Hc's. . . Hc's hurting. Hc 's in pain.

Thcrc's somcthing cating away at this guy.

I think hc's on thc cdge.

I think Riggs has a dcath wish. That's what it is.

Terrific.

So you're saying I should worry?

Oh , yeah , I think you should worry.

And whcn hc gocs, you don't want to he anywherc ncar him.

Thank you, Doctor. You've been very, very helpful .

You're welcome.

I'm too old for this shit.

You hungry?

No! I'm not hungry.

Want me to drive?

-No! I'II drive! -AII right.

You get in that side!

You drive.

Oh .

You get a bad personal phone call or something?

What happened? Did fhe stock market crash?

[fires squeal]

Don't worry. Here, have a French fry.

Fifty years old. What a birthday.

Goddamn 50 years old !

Been on the force 20 years, not a scratch on me. Not a scar.

Got a wife, kids. . . [breathes heavily]

... house, fishing boat.

I can kiss all that goodbye because my new partner has a deafh wish.

My fucking Iife is over.

-Uh, was it something I-- -Would you just shut up here?

Why are you talking fo me anyway? I'm a dead man !

-[horn honking] -Fucking Iooking at a dead man .

W-Watch!

Don't worry. I was driving before you were an itch in your daddy's pants.

-I didn't know that. -Know what?

I didn't know that it was your birthday today.

-Yeah , it was yesterday. -Oh.

Well , happy, you know. . . Happy birthday for yesterday.

I'm . . . Sincerely. Happy birthday, man.

Thanks.

Maybe we'll stay alive Iong enough for me to buy you a present.

[chuckles] I mean, you know, don't thank me now.

It's-It's the Ieast I can do after all the kindness that you've shown me.

[chuckling]

[mutters, chuckles]

[chuckling]

Hey, are you gonna tell me where we're going?

We're together on this, right?

Beverly Hills. We got an address on Amanda Hunsaker's meal ticket.

But remember, he's not a suspect yet.

So we question him, not damage him. Okay?

Oh , sure. Yeah. Okay, I won't hurt...

-I'll Iet you do all the talking. -Let me do all the talking .

-Remember that. Let me do all the talking . -Okay, experience counts here.

-[Roger] Yeah. -[sighs]

[Roger] Uh, you're not gonna smoke in the car.

-[Iighter clicks] -[Martin] Well , I am .

-[chuckles] -[Roger groans]

[Martin] What? Does this bother you? I mean , I'Il put it out if it bothers you .

-[Roger] Yeah, it bothers me. -Does it?

[Roger] Yeah .

[coughs]

[Martin] How about I open a window? Will that make you happy?

[Roger] Oh, that's not the point.

You know, I have to watch out for my lungs.

You know, I exercise and take care of myself.

4241 coming up.

[Martin] Bingo.

Do we have a warrant to go in here?

We don't need a warrant with the gate cl-- Oh, didn't take them long , huh?

[chuckles]

Hey, guys. Go on in. Make yourselves at home.

-[Martin] Thank you . -Merry Christmas.

-[Martin] Merry Christmas. -[Roger] Yeah, Merry Christmas.

Don't need a warrant with invitations.

[Martin] Hey, I've seen this place on Lifcstylcs of thc Rich and Shamclcss.

-Get the door. -Mm-hmm.

-Nice and easy. -Nice and easy.

-Looks like the Garden of Eden here. -[Martin whistles]

Look at this.

[Roger] Paradise.

[Martin] Ah, isn't that sweet?

I'm thinking probable cause.

[gun fires]

-[gunshots] -[grunts]

Get the girls!

Okay, asshole!

-Move! Come on ! Get out! -[girls screaming]

-Fast! Move! -[girls shrieking]

Get your hands on that tree and face each other!

-[Roger] Let me see your face! -[Martin] Come on .

-[Roger] Hands in front of you! Face down! -[gunman] Oh, my Ieg, man!

[Riggs] Stop moving, sweetheart, or I'Il break your arm.

-Got 'em. -[handcuffs click]

Show me your hands, Iet me see 'em.

-[gunman] You shot my fucking Ieg. -Right now! I want to see them right now.

-[gunman grunts] -Put your hands out there.

[Roger] Put your hands out there. Let me see your hands.

See how easy that was?

Boom! Still alive.

Now we question him . You know why we question him?

'Cause I got him in the Ieg.

I didn't shoot him full of holes or try to jump off a building with him .

Hey, that's no fair. The building guy lived.

-Whatever. The point being no killing. -No, killing . Right. Yeah .

Right. Piece of cake.

Now, I'm happy.

Just read him his rights, and I'II stand over here being happy.

[grunts]

-He's got a gun! -[gun fires]

-[9runting] -[gunshot]

[groans]

[gasps]

[gasps] Oops.

You ever mef anybody you didn'f kill?

[gasps, exhales]

Well, I haven't killed you yet.

[gasps, sighs]

-Well, don't do me no favors. -[grunts] Don't you worry.

[narrator] . . .so whcn you go ovcrhoard at dinncr, scnd Alka-Scltzcr to thc rcscuc

and fcel shipshapc again . . . [bell chimes] . . . fast.

[Roger] Uh, the coroner gave the body a ride downtown .

I , uh , guess we can get out of here.

[Martin] Hey.

Look, uh ...

I'm sorry about all that shit I said out there, uh ...

You saved my Iife. Thank you .

I'II bet that hurt to say.

[scoffs]

You'II never know.

-Come on, Iet's. . . Iet's get a bite. -Just get my shoes on .

Just hurry up.

[horn honking]

-Mom, Rog is coming . -[Trish] Okay, Carrie.

-[dog barking] -[crickets chirping]

Whoa, here's my little welcomin9 committee.

Hi , where's my daughter? Which one's my--

-[Carrie] Come on, Daddy. -Oh, this one's my daughter!

This is my daughter. Bye. You-- Home. Both of you , home. Dinnertime.

Mwah. How are you doing?

I am doing all right. How are you?

[Carrie] Is thaf a crook?

-[Martin chuckles] -[Roger] Uh, no.

This is my new partner, Martin .

-[Martin] Hi. Hi. -[Carrie] Hello, nice to meet you .

-Carrie. -Carrie. Yeah.

I'm glad you're home at a sensible hour.

Well , I try fo be a sensible dad . You know?

Come on in, Martin .

-Come on in . -[Martin] Sure. The door shut?

-Yeah, close the door. Thaf'd be great. -[door closes]

-[Roger] Hello, Nick. -Hey, Dad .

[Roger] Get your legs off the arm of the couch. [groans]

[vocalizes] How you doing? Where's Mommy? I n the kitchen?

Let's sneak up on Mommy.

-Hello, baby. -[Trish] Hi, honey.

-[Roger] I want you to meet-- -I-I'd Iike you to meef, um,

-Daddy's new partner, Martin . -[Martin] Hello, Martin Riggs.

-Hi , how are you? -[Martin] Uh , this is my wife, Trish .

-PIeased to meet you . -[Roger] My new partner, Martin Riggs.

-Nice to meet you . -Martin's gonna join us for dinner.

-Roast okay with you? -What's for dinner?

-[Trish chuckles] -[Roger] We'll see what's for dinner.

[chuckles] This is a brown, sticky--

Ouch! Ooh.

-[Trish] It's roasf. -Uh, how's a brown roast-Iike substance.

-Roger. . . -Uh ...

-You're being an asshole. -I try not to be.

-Want something to drink, Martin? -What do you got?

[Roger] We got Canadian mist.

-You Iike Canadian Mist? -[bottle clangs]

-[Trish] Honey, it's in the back. -[Roger] It's made in Mexico.

[Roger] I n fhe back. Canadian Mist in the back.

-[hands clap] -[Roger] Mmm.

Uh , di-- How come we didn't have fish tonight?

-I thought we had fish tonight. -[Trish] Don'f worry about the fish .

-Ooh . Getting defensive up ouf here. -[Trish] Want some coffee?

-You ever go fishin9? -Oh , not since I was a kid.

I used to go spear fishing with a snorkel.

[Roger] Spear fishing.

Didn't cafch anyfhing much but a cold .

[Rianne giggles]

[Roger] I got that big old boat out there--

Rianne, get the dessert. PIease, honey.

-... horsepower-- -Rianne.

-Your mother said , "Get the dessert." -[Nick] Get the dessert.

-[Carrie] Get to it! -Shut up.

Come on , come on, come on.

[Roger] Uh, Catalina Island , you know.

Nothing exciting, but I catch my allotment.

-[Martin] Hmm . -Not bad .

You would catch a Iittle few things out there.

That's what I caught. Caught my wife out there.

-[Martin Iaughs] -[Roger] There's nice fishing out there.

Mr. Riggs, would you like that tart?

Thank you . Yeah . Call me Martin .

Martin.

Uh . . . [stutters] . . . Mr. Riggs.

Sit down .

[Trish] Rianne, this is not the first time we've had company.

[Martin] Who, me?

[beatboxing]

My namc is Carric l'm no fairy

My sistcr's chccry

Shc's in lovc With this guy namcd Martin--

[Trish] Carrie!

Nicholas!

[Carrie] Come on . It was really good. Wouldn't you say?

Yeah , Dad. Why don't you try it? [beatboxing]

It was good !

-[beatboxing] -Yeah, there you go.

[Roger] l'm gonna find-a find you

My namc is Rogcr And l nccd to hc modgcr

And a sccrct hodgcr

- And a hoola-hulla-holla -You need some help.

-I am awful . -[Iaughter]

[footsteps approaching]

[dog barking in distance]

[Trish] Hey, Sarge.

Thanks for taking out the garbage.

[Roger] But, honey, I'm . . . I'm entertaining our guest.

So what you think?

Oh, she's, uh . . . Yeah, she's nice. Do you know anything about boats?

[Roger] I know how much they cost.

No, I mean can you sail this thing?

[groans] What's wrong with you? It's not a sailboat.

-Yeah , that's what I thought. -There's no trick to it.

You know? Thaf's the fronf. That's the back, uh, water all around.

Why you gotta things so complicated? Shit.

Sh-- Here.

Thanks.

I don't makes things complicated .

That's just the way things get all by themselves.

Yeah . You mean Amanda Hunsaker's murder, huh?

Did I mention that? I didn'f mention that, did I?

Hmm. You don't have to say a word . I can read your mind .

I don't get it. What's the matter with you?

What?

-Why is there a problem? -There's no problem.

They got one dead girl and one dead guy.

Dead guy kills the dead girl .

We kill the dead guy 'cause he wants us to be dead guys.

It's pretty easy to me.

-Well , it's pretty easy for you to say. -[Roger chuckles]

Look, a sugar daddy's dealing drugs.

She said something or did something or saw something she wasn't supposed to.

He pitches her off the balcony into the sweet by-and-by.

[chuckles]

That's why he came at us with a shotgun this afternoon .

It's-- I'm sorry. If's just a Iittle too easy, you know?

It's just too neat. I can't swallow it.

Of course it's neat.

[sighs] What's wrong with neat? I Iike neat.

[chuckles]

By neat, you mean simple. [mumbling]

-[engine starts] -Shit! Shit!

-You okay? -Watch out!

-[Martin] Uh, yeah. -What button you push?

What you doing? [stutters] Where's my manual?

[Martin] Okay, man . Okay.

Is this what you're looking for, captain?

You asshole!

[Rianne] Daddy.

-Didn't mean to interrupt. . . -Oh , no.

...one of those intellectual conversations.

[Roger] What is it, Rianne?

[Rianne] Mark asked me to a club tomorrow night.

You're grounded . You know that.

[Rianne] Please, Daddy.

Mark? Which one is Mark?

[Rianne] You know, the blonde one.

-The one with pits in his face? -Those are dimples.

Those are pits. When he smiles, I can see through his head .

The answer is no. End of story.

[Martin] Oh, come on, Rog . Have a heart.

Hey, good buddy. She smoked pot in the house. She's grounded .

[Rianne] Well , next time I'II just take a beer instead .

Why can I have a beer, and I can't smoke a joint?

It's not coke, you know?

Oh, okay. I'll tell you why.

Because now, at this moment, beer is Iegal. Grass ain't.

Right or wrong?

-It's wrong . -Right.

Right.

[Rianne] They sit up there drinking six-packs,

and I get grounded.

[sighs]

I'm gonna go home. [groans]

I Iost track.

-We resolve anything here tonight? -Yeah, we resolved plenty.

We resolved that the wife takes out the garbage.

[Roger groans]

[Martin] Your daughter smokes grass in the house,

and it's illegal .

You don't know a hell of a Iot about boats.

-[chuckling] -[chuckles]

And , uh ...

-You got a hell of a nice family there. -[chuckles] Thank you.

Oh, and I enjoyed the meal . Thanks a Iot.

Bullshit, but thanks anyway. [chuckles]

You don't trust me at all , do you?

I tell you what.

You make it through tomorrow wifhout killing anybody,

especially me or yourself.

Then I'll start trusting you .

Fair enough .

I do it real good , you know?

Do what?

When I was 1 9, I did a guy in Laos from 1 ,000 yards out.

A rifle shot in high wind .

Maybe eight or even ten guys in the world could've make that shot.

It's the only thing I was ever good at.

I'II see you tomorrow.

-[door opens] -Y-yeah . I'II see you .

-[stutters] Hey. Hey, Riggs. -Yo.

You really like my wife's cookin9?

No.

See you tomorrow.

[engine starts]

[thunder rumbles]

You Iookin' for somethin'?

Aren't we all?

You affiliated with any Iaw enforcement organization?

No, get in the car.

How old are you?

-Twenty-two. -Bullshit.

Why, you Iike 'em younger?

Yeah, younger the betfer. How old are you?

Sixteen .

A hundred bucks. What'd you have in mind?

Well , I want you to come home and watch television with me.

Thaf's all?

Yeah. Yeah, Three Stooges are on in about 20 minutes, you know.

-Are you serious? -Sure, I'm serious.

-Boop! -[chuckles]

-[imitating Curly] Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo. -[laughs]

[humming]

[cat meows]

Hey, hey. Get. . . get out of there, Burbank.

Get. . . get...

-[meows] -Here.

[groans]

[chuckles]

Oh, this is cute. [chuckles]

We got here? "Police evidence."

[static on TV]

[laughter]

[Iaughter continues]

-[woman 1 ] Thcrc's Amanda. -[woman 2] Comc on.

[woman 1 ] Don't hc shy.

Ycah, comc on, Amanda ...

[birds singing]

[dog barking in distance]

-[gasps] -Morning , Roger.

Here, have some coffee.

Hey, Roger. I've been doing a Iittle thinking .

I've been doing a Iot of thinking , actually,

about the night Amanda Hunsaker died .

-[whispering] Oh , how'd you get in here? -Uh , Trish Iet me in.

-Whaf time is it? -Uh, it's daytime.

-Okay, I'm up. -Listen about the night--

-Get on some clothes. -. . .Amanda Hunsaker died, she--

What was the name of that hooker who witnessed the jump?

Oh , come on. You Iet me go to sleep.

No, come on . We gotta get up and catch bad guys today.

-Okay, okay, okay. -You know, be real policemen .

-I'II get a shower. I'II get a shower. -Yeah .

What was the name of that hooker?

-The one that witnessed the jump. -I said I'll get a shower.

-Wilshire Vice says-- -Dixie.

-... Century City's not her usual turf. -Dixie! Her name is Dixie.

And gi-- Give me that cup!

And . . . and get out of here!

[gunshots]

Someone was in bed with Amanda Hunsaker the ni9ht she died .

Right, until now, we assumed if was a man.

Okay, suppose it was Dixie.

Okay, disgusting, but okay.

Let's say Dixie put the drain cleaner in her pills.

Say someone paid her to do it.

Sure, she thinks, "Fine, Amanda swallows a couple of downers, and--

-[gun fires] -. . .she's dead ."

-Then , Dixie-- -If it was her.

If it was her. She's got plenty of time to spritz the place up--

-[gun fires] -. . .get out, whatever.

Excepf Amanda jumps out the window.

[chuckles] Or Dixie pushes her. You know, either way.

Either way, she has fo make a quick exit because the body's public,

so she hauls ass downstairs.

People are coming out saying , "What's happened? What's happened?"

-Somebody spots her-- -[gun fires]

-...she says, "Shit." -That's right.

-She actually stops and says, "Sh"-- -[gun fires]

The point being that now she has to cover her ass.

-[gun fires] -Right.

So she grabs the nearest flatfoot she can find , and she says,

"Officer, Officer, I saw the whole thing ."

[gunshots]

Right.

Right. [chuckles]

[groans] That's pretty fucking thin .

[chuckles] That's very thin .

Oh , what fhe hell . Thin's my middle name.

Yeah , your wife's cooking. I'm not surprised.

-[Roger] What? -Nothing .

Remarks like that will not get you invited to Christmas dinner.

My luck's changing for fhe better every day.

All right, baby. Come to Roger. Come on.

Whoo. Center mass.

Center mass. [chuckles]

[chuckles] Read 'em and weep.

[chuckling]

Whaf do you do, sleep with that thing under your pillow?

I would if I slepf.

[chuckling] Step back, baby. Let me show what old man can do.

Just warming up. Just warming up.

[Roger whistling]

Watch carefully.

[sighs]

[chuckling]

Yeah .

Hey! Look at that, will you? Not bad for an old man .

Okay, step aside, old man .

[scatting]

[humming]

[humming confinues]

-[Martin continues humming , scatting] -[mechanical whirring]

[receptionist through PA system] Sergcant Dcnnis. Call your watch captain.

Scrgcant Dcnnis. Call your watch captain, plcasc.

-[confinues hummin9] -[mechanical whirring]

[stops humming]

Have a nice day.

[Martin hums]

Shit!

[car approaching]

Uh-oh ! The policemen are here!

-[kid 1 ] Yeah , you're right. -[kids] Hello, policemen!

-[Martin chuckles] Hi . -Shit.

-Hi . -[kid 2] Hi.

-How you doing? -[kids] Fine.

[kids] Are you going to bust Dixie?

Oh , no. We're just going over there for a cup of coffee.

Yeah . We're going over here to have breakfast.

[kids] You're gonna bust Dixie! You're gonna bust Dixie!

You're gonna bust Dixie! You're gonna bust Dixie!

-Like I said , thin . -Probably nothing.

[Martin groans]

[9asps] Did you see that? Wasn't thaf great?

-[kids murmur, gasp] -[dog barking]

What are you , a fag?

[Roger grunts] Your coat's on fire!

Shit.

[Roger grunting]

-Probably nothing. Very fhin. -Yeah . Thin . Very thin .

You guys okay? Got all your fingers and toes?

-Shit. -3-William-56.

I didn't see it. Do it again!

We gof a fire and explosion at 111 th and Larch.

Request ambulance and fire department.

[kid 1 ] That was great! That was Iike the Fourth of July!

[kids] Do it again! Do it again !

-Okay. Enough . Enough. Enough. -Give me a break, guys.

-[kid 3] Do you think Dixie was home? -Enough .

[police sirens wailing]

[police officers, firefighters speaking indistinctly]

What you got?

Part of the device.

Oh, this is artwork. This is goddamn artwork.

Swell . I'm glad you Iike it.

No, you don't get it. This is real pro stuff.

I haven't seen anything Iike this since the war.

-C-Come again? Come on. -Well , the CIA, they used to hire mercs.

They used the exact same setup. Mercury switches, gaflooey!

-That's heavy shit. -[officer 1 ] Guys!

Guys!

I think we got something over here. The detective wants to see you .

[helicopter blades whirring]

[detective] Okay, here it is.

Bunch of kids playing this morning ,

one of them saw a guy checking the mefer.

-Where? -Here at Dixie's.

He was playing some kind of game hiding under fhe porch.

-Says he saw the guy pretty good too. -It could be a break.

Oh, what, are you kidding? Those kids are six years old .

If that.

-You call the gas company? -Sure did .

No one's supposed to check that meter for at Ieast another month.

-[Roger] Let me handle this. -[detective] Be my guest.

Here's the Iittle fellow thaf saw the guy.

Hi.

My name is Detective Murtaugh . What's yours?

Don't tell him your name.

Don'f tell him your name or he's gonna put you in jail .

And you won't see your mom.

No, no, no. It's all right. I'm not gonna put you in jail .

Come on . What's your name?

-No! -Don't tell him your name, AIfred .

-Oops. -[Roger] AIfred !

Oh, this is-- This is AIfred! Hey, meet AIfred . This is AIfred .

Alfred , hi! How old are you , AIfred?

Six.

Six years old . I bet you Iike GoBots.

Is thaf a real gun?

Yeah, yes. This is a real gun .

Do you kill people?

No. If some guy is hurting someone,

I try to shoot him in the Ieg or something. Just to stop him .

Mama says policemen shoot Black people.

-[kid 2] Is it true? -[kid 3] Yeah , is it true?

-Is that true? Is that true? -Yeah , is it true?

-Uh . . . -[kid 2] Is it true?

Uh, maybe we ought to get the kids some ...

Ice cream . Ice cream?

You Iike ice cream?

-Yeah . -[kids] Yeah! Ice cream!

-Ice cream ! Ice cream! Yeah . -[detective] Ice cream!

Uh-uh . No. No, no, no.

-Not-- Not you , AIfred . -[kid 3] I Iike chocolate.

[grunfs] Now, AIfred.

-[Roger] Uh . . . -[kid 1 ] He doesn't have a brother.

The man you saw. The meter man. Did you get a good look at him?

-I saw him. -Great.

Now, picture him in your head .

CIose your eyes, and think what he Iooks Iike.

-Got if? -Mm-hmm.

Can you draw him?

-Mm-hmm. -Um ...

Give me some drawing paper and crayons. Hurry up.

-This is good . I Iike this. -Can if, man .

No, we're gonna put out an APB on Big Bird .

-That's very funny. -Yeah .

"Attention, all units. Large yellow bird, silly voice."

-You're hilarious, Martin. It's enough . -Yeah .

[Roger] Okay, now tell me what he Iooks Iike.

-Was he BIack? -Mm-mmm.

Was he white?

-Mm-hmm. -[Roger] Oh , he was white. Okay.

Was he tall?

Oh. Tall Iike me?

What color was his hair? Uh, was it brown?

BIack? No.

-BIond? -Mm-hmm.

BIond . His hair was blond .

What, uh . . . What did he have on?

Jeans? Did he have jeans on?

It was paint.

-Pained? -Pained?

-P-Pained . -I don't know.

[stutters] Pain ...

-P-Painted? -Mm-hmm.

Painted . A-- A tattoo?

Tattoo? Uh, Iike-- like Popeye?

Like Popeye? A taftoo Iike Popeye? Oh, not like Popeye.

It was that.

Like that?

Exactly Iike that?

-Mm-hmm. I saw if good . -[Roger] Oh , did you?

This is it. I remember.

Are you sure?

It had a knife, even .

[police radio chatter continues]

[officer 2] More to the Ieft.

[officer 3 on radio] Wc copy. 13, stand by.

-[officer 1 ] How are you gonna get-- -[officer 2] Open it up.

Roger, that's a Special Forces tattoo.

-Really? -Yeah .

A Special Forces tattoo, mercury swifches ...

What the hell have we gotten into here?

-[police siren wailing] -Yeah . Here.

[Martin] Wonder if there's an opening in the LA fire department?

-[Ii9hter clinks] -[speaker] It's--

It's difficult at a memorial service to find the-- all the happiness.

But Amanda was too special to all of us.

You want to tell me about it?

-Tell you about whaf? -[Roger] Don't bullshit me.

Your daughter wasn't killed because of something she was into.

She was killed because of something you're into.

Stop me if I'm wrong.

Roger, I don'f know what the hell you're talking about.

Hey, Mike. Keep your hands away from your pocket, okay?

-Take it easy, man . -Fuck easy.

When you called me the other day you were gonna blow the whistle, right?

BIow the whistle on what?

You were going to spill your guts so they kill your daughter.

Tell me if I'm wrong. And talk to me!

They killed your daughter.

They paid off a hooker to poison your little girl . Talk to me.

Christ's sake, Roger! I've got another daughter.

She'II be protected .

You can't protect her. You don't know these people.

Acquaint me with them.

[seagulls calling]

It goes all the way back fo the war.

I ended up working with a group called "Air America."

CIA front.

They secretly ran fhe entire war ouf of Laos.

I was with a special unit called "Shadow Company."

Mercs. Trained killers.

When Charlie was bringing in heroin to finance the VC government,

Shadow Company went in . We burned the whole thing down .

We killed everybody.

We also formed a plan .

Keep talking .

[sighs]

Couple of years ago, Shadow Company gof together again .

The war was over...

buf we still had our list of sources in Asia.

-And? -And we've been bringing it in ever since.

Bringing in what?

Heroin.

Two major shipments a year.

[sighs] It's all run by ex-CIA.

Soldiers, mercs.

[Roger chuckles] You son of a bitch !

If you were getfing cold feet, why did they kill Amanda?

Why not just kill you?

-They can't kill me. They need me. -Why?

My company. The bank. It's a perfect front.

Makes everything Iook great on the tax reports.

The tax reports.

This is big business, Ro9er.

Not anymore.

I'm gonna burn it down.

You can't. It's too big, Rog .

These people are trained, expert killers.

I wanna know abouf your next shipment.

I wanna know where it's coming in . How many people you got working for you .

-I can't tell you that, Roger. -[Roger] I wanna know your sources abroad.

-How long you've been into this. -I've got another daughter.

-You can't protect her. I'm in foo deep. -I want all the information you can give.

[glass breaking]

-[gunshots] -[Roger grunts]

-[glass breaking] -[grunts]

-[gunshots] -Heroin .

You got off easy, you son of a bitch .

[gun clicks]

[gun clicks]

[gun cartridge clicks]

You through?

I haven't even started .

[Joshua] General McAIIister. 801 . This is Delta One.

We're coming in . Over.

-So you've accomplished your mission? -[Joshua, through radio] Yes, sir.

[Joshua] Mr. Hunsaker is dead, sir.

I'm afraid , however, that another problem exists.

[General , through radio] What is it? Explain.

[Joshua] Hunsaker spoke to the police, sir.

-[General , through radio] Arc thcy dead? -[Joshua] No. I missed the opportunity.

[General , through radio] Vcry disappointing.

So thc policc may know cvcrything? The wholc opcration ?

[Joshua] That is correct, sir.

Joshua, I think it's time we turned up the heat.

Come on home.

[thunder rumbling]

-Hi . -[prosfifute] Hi.

What's a nice Irish girl Iike you doing out here tonighf?

-[chuckles] -Hey, Iisten. I'm looking for a guy.

Had this girl in his stable. You know this girl?

-No, I've never seen her before. -Dixie. She's in your Iine of work. Sure?

-Sure. Why? -[car speeding]

Well , I'm a police officer.

Don't worry, I'm not gonna drag your ass into jail ...

[tires screeching]

-[tires screeching] -[car horns honking]

-[car horn honking] -[car speeding away]

[breathing heavily]

-[grunts] -[Roger] You wore your vesf.

[chuckles] That was smart, kid .

-[Martin grunts] -Come on.

[Martin groans, grunts]

-[both strain] -[Roger] Hey. Ho-- Hold on!

-I'm on your side. -[Martin grunts]

-[Roger] AII right, kid . -Okay. Okay. [sighs]

[grunts] Son of a bitch , that hurts!

AII ri9ht. You all right?

-Oh, I'm pissed , Roger! Now I'm pissed . -Okay. Okay. Okay.

-Oh , Christ. [Iaughs] -For God's sake. You okay?

-Look at your face! [laughs, coughs] -Right here.

Two inches higher, they would have gotten your head .

Two inches lower, I'd have been a falsetto for Iife.

-Come on . Let's fuck off. [coughing] -I bet you'd sound nice too. Come on .

-[Martin] Where's my gun? Where's-- -Right here. Here.

Thanks. [grunfs]

-Oh, shit! Roger. -What?

[pants] The guy who shot me...

-The guy who shot me! -Yeah , what abouf him?

The same albino jackrabbit son of a bitch that did Hunsaker.

-You sure? -I'm sure, man . I never forget an asshole.

[inhales sharply, pants] And I gof an idea.

-Oh. What? -We get a couple of first class fickets

to Detroit and Iay Iow for a couple of weeks.

-What do you say? -Uh, now, come on . Be serious.

-What-- What do we do? -[pants] What else?

We bury the fuckers.

And you know something else?

-What? -We do this righf, we get famous.

Do shaving ads and shit. Girls. Money.

[scoffs] Sure. With our luck, we're doing Forest Lawn commercials.

-Bullshif! We got the edge, Cochise. -Edge?

Roger, they think I'm dead . I'm a corpse.

[panting]

-Brilliant. -[chuckles]

[dispatcher on radio] 3-William-56 comc in. Ovcr.

Brilliant shit!

-3-William-56. Over. -[dispatcher] Wc got a hody for you.

-Malc, Caucasian, agc 1 7. -He was at Hunsaker's place.

-I saw him , he saw me. -[Roger] Uh, 3-William-56.

Negative. Get someone else to do it, okay? That was prefty--

Captain says to givc it to you.

3rd and Occan. About two hlocks from your housc.

Uh, yeah, sure. He's probably blond with big dimples.

-You know-- -How did you know that, sargc? Ovcr.

-Hey. Get in here! -What's the matter?

-What? -[breafhes heavily] Trouble.

What? What?

[Roger] I got a feeling they just gave a description

of the kid my daughter's dating .

[sirens wailing]

[Roger] Let's be dark and quiet.

[keys jingle]

[whispers] One, two...

[breathes shakily] Bastards got my daughter.

Oh, shit.

[hammer cocks]

-[gasps] What is it? -[stammers] Nothing .

-What is it? -[Roger] Nothing!

[gasps] Get back in your room . Back in your room!

[whimpering]

-[phone rings] -[gasps]

[stammers] Murtaugh .

[Joshua] You havc a vcry bcautiful daughter.

If l wcrc you, l'd stick hy thc phonc to find out whcrc to mcct us.

[disconnect tone]

[shakily] They got my kid .

Bastards took my baby.

-[Trish sobs] -[Roger whispers] Oh , baby.

[sirens wailing]

[receptionist on intercom] Scrgcant McCaskcy, pick up line threc.

Robbery Homicide, McCaskey speaking.

Yes, this is KCOP News.

We understand thaf there was

an officer-involved shooting earlier this evening.

Could you give us more information?

Sergeant Martin Ri9gs was shot and killed .

Who is this?

Oh , thank you. We'Il send somebody right over.

Bingo!

Riggs is out of the picture.

I want Murtaugh taken alive.

He may not talk.

We have his Iittle girl . He'II talk.

You know they're gonna kill her, don't you?

[Roger] Yes.

And if you want her back, you're gonna have to take her away from them.

I know.

[si9hs] I know.

We do this my way.

You shoot and you shoot to kill .

Get as many as you can .

AIl you got fo do is just nof miss.

I won't miss.

We're gonna get bloody on this one, Roger.

Are you really crazy?

Or are you as good as you say you are?

You're gonna have to trust me.

[phone rings]

Here we go.

-[Roger] Murtaugh. -[Joshua] We don't want your daughtcr.

Wc just wanna know what Hunsaker told you.

Dry lakc, Victorville. Sunrisc tomorrow. Be thcrc.

Murtaugh!

[Roger] Yes, that's right.

Show me my daughter!

Let me see her, then I'Il come quietly.

He wants to see the girl .

[Joshua] Get out.

Daddy!

Okay, baby! I'm here.

Okay, it's all right.

Simple exchange.

You come with us, the girl takes a walk.

Let her go now.

As I say, take your hands out of your pockets.

Sure thing, pal .

It's alive.

Let her go now, or we all die.

[Joshua] Take him!

He has a grenade!

He's bluffing!

He wouldn't risk killing his own daughter.

If she's gonna die,

she's gonna die with me.

My way, not yours.

Come on . Goddamn it, Roger. Get out of the way.

Move to your leff. Come on !

Put the pin back in.

Officer Murtaugh , don't be foolish . Look at the hardware.

To your Ieft. Move to your Ieft.

Look at the firepower.

You're 9rounded . Riggs is gone.

Put the pin back in the grenade.

Yeah. If you come closer,

then we all die.

No. I don't think so.

-[Roger grunts] -Daddy!

Come on , honey. Come on, honey.

-[Rianne screams] -Just a smoker.

-Bingo. -[screaming]

-Where the hell is he? -Damn it. It's Riggs.

[Roger] Rianne, get in the car!

[screaming]

Rianne, get in the fucking car!

[gunshots]

[engine starts]

[screams]

[gunshots]

[Roger] Go, Rianne! Go!

Come on , cotfontail. Stick your head up.

That's it, you son of a bitch . Good night.

[hammer cocks]

Don't fry it, son . You're not that fast.

[General on radio] Hcllo, Joshua. Hcllo, Joshua.

-Yes, sir. -I got Riggs.

Yes, sir.

He's got Riggs. Go get the girl! The girl !

[mercenary] Throw your weapon down!

Put your hands behind your head !

[Martin] You're General Peter McAIIister, commander of Shadow Company.

[General] Ah. I see we've heard of each other.

[Martin] Yep. It'II almost be a shame when I nail you.

[chuckles]

Yeah , I ran into some of those Shadow Company pussies in Saigon in abouf '69.

[General] You did , did you?

[sobbing]

[Rianne] Leave me alone!

Why don't you save your strength? You're gonna need it.

Who's the chin?

Endo, meet Mr. Martin Riggs.

Endo here has forgotten more about dispensing pain

than you and I will ever know.

Terrific.

See, Martin , we have a problem.

Since we have Murtaugh,

we don't really need you .

Buf I believe in being thorough .

Yeah, I've heard that abouf you.

Yeah .

Well , our problem , and yours too,

is we have a shipment of merchandise to deliver.

Why don'f you guys just call it heroin?

It's rather Iarge, fhis shipment.

It would be unfortunate, however,

if we showed up fo deliver our heroin

and were surrounded by 50 cops.

That would be too bad .

Yes, it would be.

So it's essential for us to find out all the cops know.

Hey, we don't know shit.

You did Hunsaker before he could say--

No! No!

I wish I could believe you , but, unfortunately, I don't.

Now, if you would kindly tell me everything you know,

I promise you I'II kill you quick.

[breathes heavily]

I've told you everything I know.

Endo?

[breathes shakily] What is that thing?

I'II tell you what it is.

It's called electric shock treatment.

Well ...

I guess we're in for a Iong night, because l don't know shit.

We'II see.

Endo?

Son of a bitch!

[scream]

-Hit him again ! -[screams]

Hit him again!

[shouting]

Come on. Tell me about fhe shipmenf!

I'm gonna fucking kill the both of you !

That's very funny. I want fo know about the shipment!

[screaming]

[General] The shipment, Mr. Murtaugh.

Go spif!

[Larch] Salt.

No ...

[grunting]

[screaming]

[screams]

Go spit, you son of a bitch. Fuck you !

This is getting nowhere.

Mr. Larch .

[breathes heavily]

[Endo] He knows shit. We're safe.

He'd have told us. Nobody can take that.

Fine.

Badass soldier, huh?

-[Rianne] Daddy! -Baby!

[Rianne screams]

[sobbing]

Get her up. Go on .

Get her up!

Untie me, and I'II kill all of you bastards!

[General] You befter tell me what you know.

Fuck you , bastard! Son of a bitch , I'Il kill you!

I swear, I'II kill you ! You fucking bastard .

[groans]

[Endo] Sorry, pal . Say good night. [grunts]

[choking]

Yes, that's a real good-Iooking young woman

you got there, Mr. Murtaugh.

No.

I've told you everything .

We'll soon know, won't we?

I'm warning you .

Don't.

Spare me, son. It's over.

There's no more heroes Ieft in the world .

[Rianne screams]

Kill that son of a bitch!

-[Roger] That asshole's getting away! -[Martin] Who's fucking next?

McAllister!

Who's next?

Pretty thin , huh?

Anorexic.

Daddy!

It's all right.

Let's do what one shepherd said to the other.

-What? -Let's get the flock out of here.

[Roger] Come on. Let's go. It's all right.

You're all right, baby. Come on . Everything's all right.

[groans]

[screams]

[Martin] Is it him?

[Roger] No. It's not Joshua.

[rock music playing]

[grunting]

-Hey! What are you-- -[gunshots]

[Martin] Joshua!

Come on , come on, come on!

Come on , come on, come on!

[screaming]

Move it, move it, move it!

[horn honking]

[horn honking]

-Hold it! Stop, stop, stop! -[tires screech]

Get out of the fucking car, bitch!

Come on! Now!

[screaming]

[Roger] Police officer, police officer!

[carjacking victim screaming]

[tires squealing]

-[police officer] Freeze! -I'm a police officer.

Got a badge in my pocket.

Give me some backup, and take care of the girl .

[tires squealing]

-[tires screech] -[horns honking]

[driver] Hey, hey! Hey, get off my car!

[tires screech]

Hey, Riggs!

-Yo! -The freeway! He's going for the freeway!

-You okay? -Yeah .

[Roger] Cut over the 3rd Street Bridge.

You'II be able to get ahead of him .

General McAIIister...

time for you to die.

[horns honking]

[tires squealing]

-[engine revving] -[horn honking]

[horn honking]

Oh, shit!

Hold it!

[grunts]

You all right?

Get back in your car!

Mind if I test drive your Audi?

[tires screeching]

Stop, you son of a bitch !

Shit!

Goddamn it!

He's got my car!

[grunts]

-Get back! -Hey, man, I'm cool, I'm cool .

[horn honking]

Stupid !

[siren wailing in distance]

Let's get out of here.

Open the door!

Kill that cop son of a bitch.

No way you live. No way.

[horn honking]

[grunts]

[tires screeching]

[sirens wailing]

[grunting]

[screaming]

[laughing]

[indistinct police radio chatter]

Gangway!

-[police officer 1 ] Hold it, pal . -Police officer, police officer.

-Okay, go ahead . -AII right, go ahead .

-[police officer 1 ] Folks, stay back now. -[police officer 2] Open it up.

-Well, shit. What now, kid? -[grunts] Shit.

-Ow! Shit. Ow! -Well, the first thing we gotta do

-is get you to a hospital, huh? -Yeah, yeah .

Come on . Let's 9o.

Don'f breathe this stuff, you'Il see pink elephants.

And Joshua?

The slippery son of a bitch got away.

What do you mean he got away?

Hey, fire me.

-Shit. -Hey. Hey, hold on a second .

[Martin] Hey. Hey, where you going, Roger?

Hey, Sarge, I'm commandeering your car here.

Hey. Hey, hey, what's the matter?

My home, man . The son of a bitch knows where I Iive.

-Well, I'II drive, Cochise. I'II drive. -Yeah , yeah . Yeah.

Get in on the other side. Let Rig9s drive. Don't worry about it.

-There you go. -I'm all right.

[police officer] 3-W-30 en route to Sergeant Murtaugh's residence.

Requestin9 additional units.

[indistinct chatter]

[siren wailing]

[tires squealing]

Excuse me, sir, may we help you?

No, thank you .

[horn honking]

[gunshots]

[person 1 on TV] Good morning, sir.

Tcll mc, what day is it?

What day?

Goddamn Christmas!

I'II give you a home to come back fo.

[person 2 on TV] Thc spirits must havc donc evcrything in onc night.

Crazy son of a bitch.

[engine humming]

-[engine stops] -[person whistles]

[sighs]

Give me thaf. Drop it.

[Roger] Looking for your general friend?

Yeah. He's barbecuing his nuts on Hollywood Boulevard .

Yeah .

What do you say, Jack?

Would you Iike a shot at the title?

Don't mind if I do.

[both grunting]

[siren wailing in distance]

[tires squealing]

Okay, men , okay. Okay, I'm Sergeant Murtaugh .

My responsibility here.

[dispatcher on radio] l rcpcat, watch commandcr is cn routc.

Until thcn, Scrgcant Murtaugh is in chargc on sitc.

Just keep the citizens clear.

[grunting , groaning]

[helicopter blades whirring]

[Roger] Keep everyone back.

This is Sergeant Riggs's arrest. I'll take full responsibility.

The son of a bitch just killed two of our men .

Get him, kid! He's yours!

Yeah !

-Come on . Come on, get up! -[Martin groans]

-Come on, Riggs! Come on! -[Roger] Break his back!

[Martin screams]

Want to quit now? Want to quit now?

Oh, that's good .

[both grunting]

-Give me that. -Here.

Riggs!

[grunting , groaning]

Yeah , come on . Come on !

Yeah, show me what you got. Come on, come on .

-Yeah . -[grunts]

[Roger] Get him!

[Martin] Eat this.

[screaming]

[Roger] Martin!

Kid , Iet us take him!

Come on , Iet me take him!

-No! -PIease!

No! Back off!

[both grunting]

[choking]

[Martin laughs]

Break his fucking neck!

[grunting]

[Martin] It's not worth it.

You Iose.

[Roger] Get that shit off my lawn!

-How you doing, kid? -[coughing]

Yeah .

I gof you. I got you , partner.

Merry Christmas, Victoria Lynn .

I Iove you .

-Hi . -Oh, hi

How are you?

Um, I'm gonna be all right.

-Oh, good . -You?

Yeah , I'm good . Yeah .

Um ...

Give this to your dad, okay? Uh , it's a present for him.

Tell him I won't be needing it anymore.

It's a bullet.

Yeah , it's a bullet. [chuckles]

Well , he'II understand .

[chuckles]

Hey, you want to come in? We're building .

No, I-- Well, I gotta go.

You have a nice Christmas, though, okay?

Okay, you too.

-Bye. -Bye.

Riggs.

Yo.

Shh.

After all we've been through,

if you think I'm gonna eat the world's Iousiest Christmas turkey

by myself, you're crazy.

I'II tell you a Iittle secret.

-What? -I'm not crazy.

I know.

Oh, good. Let's eat.

Hey, you know something?

Well, I think your daughfer kind of Iikes me.

-If you touch her, I'II kill you . -[chuckles] You'II try.

Hey, you mind if I bring a friend?

Bring a friend.

Hey. [whistles]

[dog barks]

["I'II Be Home For Christmas" playing]

[Roger] I don't think Burbank the cat's gonna like this.

I'II put five on the mutt.

-[glass shatters] -[Burbank screeches]

-[indistinct clamoring] -[dog barking]

[child] Burbank, Burbank! Watch out, Burbank!

[Roger] I'm too old for this.

I'll hc home for Christmas

Oh, yes

lf only in my drcams

I'll hc home for Christmas

["Lethal Weapon" playing]

[songs ends]