Original subtitles

Well, you worn worse, Thomas.

You worn none at all.

It's just your promiscuous Luck, friend.

Nice choice.

Roomy...

or damp.

Oh, bloomin' boots!

Good county for cadging, this used to be.

(INVISIBLE MAN) It's a rotten county. And pigs for people.

(CHUCKLES) Ain't it just?

- And those are exceedingly ugly boots. - Ar!

Audacious ugly!

Ugliest in the whole blessed universe.

But which pair to keep?

I'm blessed if I know.

Has...?

- Where are you? - Don't be alarmed.

You'll be alarmed in a minute, you silly fool.

Where are you?

Are you buried?

Oh!

It ain't no time for playing the fool.

I could have swore I heard a voice.

- Hey! - Don't be such a fool!

Lord preserve us, he's here again.

Come out!

Well?

Be a man and show yourself.

None of your ventriloquising with me, no!

I'll knock your block off if I could see you.

_ (SLAPS) \ Eh!

Oh!

You're off your chump, Thomas.

It's the drink.

It's fretting over them blessed boots.

(INVISIBLE MAN) Neither one thing nor the other. Do you really think I'm just your imagination?

What else can you be?

Then I'm going to throw stones at you until you think differently.

Oh...

Where are you?

Hey!

Ow!

Oh!

No! Eh!

Stop!

Do you still think I'm imagination?

- Hey! - Struggle any more and I'll throw this stone.

All right.

All right, mate, I'm done.

Where are you hid?

How do you do it?

It's very simple.

I am invisible.

Tell me something I don't know.

Stones flinging themselves, stones talking?

- I'm beat. - I am invisible.

That is what I want you to try and understand. Invisible.

- Yeah, but where? - Here!

About two yards in front of you.

I'm not one of your ignorant tramps, you know.

You'll be telling me next you're thin air.

But I am! At this moment you are looking straight through me.

Eh?

I am a human being like you.

I need food and drink and covering, like you.

I'm solid but I am invisible.

What, you... you mean real, like?

Quite real.

Give us a hand of you, then.

\ (SLAP) \ Eh!

You... you made me jump, grabbing me like that.

Heh!

Oh, ghost.

If this don't beat cock-fighting.

You are there.

Oh!

I can see a rabbit clean through you, half a mile away.

How'd you manage it? How's it done?

- It isn't half so wonderful as you think. - Eh?

- (GASPS) - Listen to me.

I need your help.

I need clothes and shelter

and other things: important documents.

Don't you knock me about no more!

You just keep off.

You broke my bottle, you very near broke my toe.

Now, why should I help you?

(GASPS)

- (GULPS) - You have a job to do.

And I have chosen you for it.

You are an outcast, like myself.

Help me and I will do great things for you.

An invisible man is a man of power.

And if... if I won't?

If you betray me, I shall kill you.

Cipher, it's all in cipher, Padre.

- (CLATTERING) - (MR HALL) Tut! Oh, dear.

I think it much wiser, Mr Hall, to leave those things untouched

until the constable has made a thorough search.

- Anything might explode. - I'm very sorry, sir.

There's no name on the flyleaf, nothing at all to give us a clue.

- (VICAR) I see. - (SNIFFS)

(INVISIBLE MAN WHISPERS) The closed door.

There are figures in this one.

And judging by the letters of some of the manuscript,

it might be in Greek.

- (INVISIBLE MAN) Ask for the tap room. - Eh?

- What is it? What do you want? - (INVISIBLE MAN) The tap.

- Mr Hall... - Erm... this the tap?

- No. No, it ain't. - Right you are.

- Stand clear. - Come along, now.

- (CONSTABLE) Sorry, sir. - No need to pull my arm. It's black and blue.

- (HALL) Very sorry, sir. - My nerves are all on edge.

It made me jump, the door opening like that.

- A tramp, I should judge. - Or a sailor.

- Sailor? - Stand clear: a nautical term.

Tramp or sailor,

I think we should make certain we are safe from further interruption.

Everyone outside the Church credits clergymen with a knowledge of Greek and Hebrew originals.

I confess mine is of the very flimsiest. I understand none of this.

William?

Er... do you think we should take these notebooks to Professor Longman?

- Come on, out! - How about a drink of water?

- No, we're closed. Come on. - Give over pushing.

- You just clear off and don't come back. - Oh, yes!

- Measuring. - Eh?

Judging the size of his head.

He ain't got one.

Well, the fact remains I could see right down his sleeve.

Have you ever seen a really good conjuror, William?

- Oh! - Hallucinations are so easily produced.

I won't argue with you. We've thrashed this out a hundred times already.

Dear friend,

even if I cannot believe this absurd invisibility story,

there certainly seem to have been some very strange things happening in lping lately.

- And now we're Left with these. - Indeed.

Look at this entry.

Russian, would you say?

Well, it's certainly not Greek.

- William! - What the...?

(INVISIBLE MAN) Don't move or I'll brain you both.

Listen to me carefully.

Besides being invisible, I am a very strong man.

There's not the slightest doubt I could kill you both and get away quite easily.

- Do you understand? - Yes!

- Do you understand? - Yes, yes. For pity's sake, man!

- (CHOKING) - Very well.

- If I let you go, you must do exactly as I tell you. - (COUGHING)

Yes!

W-Where are you?

Since when did you learn to pry into an investigator's private memoranda, Doctor?

Since when did you learn to invade the private rooms of a man of misfortune?

We meant you no harm, sir.

When I came into this room, I did not expect to find it occupied.

However, your presence has solved another problem.

I returned for my three books, gentlemen, but I also need clothes.

Though the days are warm enough for a man to run around stark naked, the nights are not.

Your trousers, please, Doctor.

Certainly not!

I really have no wish to handle you roughly.

Do as he says!

(VICAR AND DOCTOR SHOUTING)

- (VICAR) This is disgraceful! - That ain't right.

- William! - Yes, all right, Padre!

- William! - I'm very sorry.

Would you mind getting out of my way?

- Mr Jaffers! - (DOCTOR SHOUTING)

(MUMBLES)

Are you all right? Dr Cuss, sir?

- (BANGING FROM INSIDE) - (DOCTOR) It's Locked!

- Eh? - There's rum noises coming from the parLour.

- What's going on in there, George? - Listen.

- Is he speaking to us? - (DOCTOR) This is dreadful!

- (INVISIBLE MAN) And the socks! - Window!

- Ooh! Here... Reverend Bunting? - Do you mind?

(ARGUING CONTINUING INSIDE)

(INVISIBLE MAN) Quick, man, quick! Take them!

- Mr Jaffers! - You come back here!

Hey! Stop, thief!

Hey! Hey, you!

Here, hurry up. He's getting away.

Hey, stop!

Good heavens, Mr Jaffers, he's getting away from us.

Head him off at the bridges!

Right!

Oh!

Oh! Reverend Bunting, please!

I believe he's gone! All right, Mrs Hall.

Good heavens, Padre. Do something to cover yourself.

- (HAMMERING ON THE DOOR) - All right, Mrs Hall, all right!

(JAFFERS) I'll catch you, you know!

You won't escape!

(INVISIBLE MAN) Come on!

Mr Jaffers!

(INVISIBLE MAN) Well! What are we going to do now?

Nobody knew I was invisible until those floundering yokels exploded my secret.

Now it'll be all about.

It'll be in the papers. Everybody will be looking for me.

- Everybody will be looking for me! - You?

(THOUGHTFULLY) Yes...

- Yes, indeed. They will be looking for you. - (FOX BARKING)

(INVISIBLE MAN LAUGHING)

You're a poor tool, Marvel, but the fact is, I shall have to make use of you again.

- I'm a miserable tool. - You certainly are.

I'm the worst possible tool that you could have.

I ain't strong.

I've got a weak heart.

All that business, running away...

I could've dropped any moment.

Look, I haven't got the strength for what you want.

I'll stimulate you.

Look...

I don't want to mess up your plans,

but I might, out of having a weak heart.

You'd better not.

Well, it ain't justice.

What do I get out of it?

You do what you're told, Marvel, and I'll see you right.

I wish I was dead.

(LAUGHS)

(SNORING)

(BIRDSONG)

(INVISIBLE MAN STIRS AND COUGHS)

(CHATTER)

Seasonable weather.

Ar.

Books?

Here. Books.

- Extraordinary things in books. - Mm. I believe you.

Extraordinary things out of them, too.

Likewise.

- Extraordinary things in newspapers. - Oh, yes? ls there?

- In this one, anyway. - Mm?

There's a story here about an invisible man.

In America, was he?

No, not America.

Here!

(CHUCKLES) What'll they think of writing next, then, eh?

Well, when I say here, I don't mean here in this place.

No! I mean hereabouts.

(COUGHS) What's he been up to, then, this invisible man?

(LAUGHS) Well, every blessed thing, according to this!

Makes me regular uncomfortable, the thought of him running about at Large.

I mean, who knows what he can do?

I mean, he could trespass, burgle, rob...

He could pass through a whole cordon of police

as easy as you and me'd give the slip to a blind man!

Er...

Does it say he's got any pat?

Eh?

R don't say he's got any pat?

- I suppose. - Ain't one of his sort enough for you?

"Although several attempts were made to secure him,

"he succeeded in escaping.

"But not until after a desperate... alternation

"in which he inflicted serious injuries."

That's a pretty strange story, eh?

(CLEARS THROAT) Where... where is he now?

Well, "From certain evidence,

"it is supposed he has taken the road to Port Burdock."

- Port Burdock? - That's down the road away!

Here, he's on his way here, Bertie, the Invisible Man!

Is that a fact, is it, now?

Here, you haven't finished your stew!

- No, l-l-l-l've got to get going. - Hold on, mate.

- Marvel! - My Lord, he's here!

- He's here! - Who's here?

Marvel, you pot-bellied son of an old boot!

- What's all this? Now go and close that door! - He's inside! He'll kill me!

- No, no! You've got to help me. - Get off!

(YELLS)

Harry! Harry, what's your game, eh?

- Let go! - I didn't try to give you the slip.

- Come on, let her go. - Don't hurt me, mister!

You wouldn't hit a Lady, would you?

(INVISIBLE MAN SNARLING)

Invisible Man!

(TERRIFIED SHOUTING)

I felt him! He went right by me, honest.

(LANDLORD) All of you, quiet!

Quiet, I said! I will have quiet.

He's gonna kill me! He's gonna kill me!

Harry! Harry, are you all right?

- Never mind about me! - He's in here, Bertie.

- Eh? - He's prowling about!

- He's as artful as the devil. - I'll soon put paid to that.

No, that won't do, Bertie. That's murder!

Well, I'll just aim at his Legs.

- Not in here! You'll kill us all. - Supposing he ain't got no legs?

- Don't talk so daft. - (INVISIBLE MAN) Marvel, you liver-faced worm!

Gawd help me! He's back!

- He's here! I got him! - (MEN) Where? Where?

- No, I ain't. - Whoo!

(HARRY) He's gone! After him!

- (MAN) Come on, then! - Ah, stop that!

Stop that, man! Come on, get back. Hey, you!

(LANDLORD) You out there! Hold on!

- Hold on! - (PANTING)

(TWO GUNSHOTS)

- (GUNSHOT) - Aah!

(GASPING)

Aahhh!

(WHIMPERS IN PAIN)

(BREATHING STEADIES)

(EXCITED CHATTER)

Hey, it's all right. You can come out now.

He's gone.

Yeah...

But he'll..he'll be back.

He's after them books.

Ooh, God help me.