Original subtitles

Well, I reckon you'd better get me a couple of cars, then.

WHISPERS: Do you see that Jaguar? I'm going to rob it.

Hey! Stop! Fuck.

What's important is we find Grinner.

It's a map for where the treasure is.

Me da done it when I was young. He killed me ma.

He's alive. They want to swap him for Grinner.

Maurice wouldn't point them here.

He won't have a choice, Marion.

Bee Man Beglan, we called him.

I thought you might want to fuck him up.

Come with me, Marion.

I can't.

Bunny, I just can't.

KNOCKING

KNOCKING CONTINUES

Jesus Christ, Bunny! Isn't he at home?

What the fuck are you doing here?

I... I couldn't stay away. I...

You can't keep asking me to just...

Jesus, you're pissed.

And what the hell were you hoping for here, Bunny?

You know what.

You know what!

Jesus, you're pissed.

Come away with me, Marion.

Bunny, talk sense.

Just come.

Just come away. I mean, it'd be nice.

It'd be more than nice.

I know it'd be fucking nice.

But that's hardly the world we're living in, is it?

I'm fucking married.

I can't believe that you chose him.

I mean...

..you can't tell me that he makes you happy.

Bunny... I love you, Marion.

I love you.

You're drunk. So what if I'm drunk?

I'm telling you I fucking love you, for fuck's sake.

Marion?

Marion, who's that?

Do you...

..feel the same?

HE SNIFFS

I might, but...

..it doesn't matter.

Yes, it does.

I chose Maurice because...

..I needed what he could give me.

I know it's not nice, but maybe I'm not either.

And maybe more's the fucking pity, but there we are.

So you're to go that way... Marion, I can't, I can't.

Just, please, we could go now.

We could go now.

No, and I'm to go this other way, Bunny.

Do you understand?

Yeah...

M-Marion...

DOOR CLOSES

# I am nowhere but home by the sea

# Le na iascaire, agus a bhriongl id

# Whisper my secrets, embracing thee

# Oh, carry my song across the sea. #

WEAK BREATHING

HE BREATHES

They calm his heart rate. Stops him having a full-on heart attack.

So, Grinner pops a few of these bad boys and he's brand-new, is it?

More or less.

Otherwise...

..he's dead?

Something like that. I'm not sure of the exact science, but...

If he's dead, no-one's going to get their hands on the treasure.

I keep thinking it and I know I shouldn't...

We're taking the treasure for ourselves

and fucking off to St Moritz?

That's exactly what I was thinking.

I can't believe we're thinking the exact same thing.

It's like we're totally on the same wavelength.

Like, like, totally.

Like two peas in a pod.

Might kip for a bit.

Bleedin' wrecked.

Hmm...

UPBEAT MUSIC

To millions.

Bridget, what the fuck?

Wake up. We're going to die.

Bridget, wake up. Wake up.

HORN HONKS

Bridget, wake up!

SHE SCREAMS

Fuck. Sorry.

It's all right.

Fuck it, we're still in one piece.

You need coffee.

I think I better drive.

I know we were only messing - or you were probably only messing -

but what if we did keep all of it?

Or at least as much as we could?

What, like, the gold?

Yeah, like, the two of us and him.

Because you heard Grinner back at the home before those two turned up.

It was us he was talking to, so why should they get to keep

any of it, if not us all of it?

I mean, I don't think Bunny would want any part of it anyways.

He's a bit of a straight arrow, our Bunny.

Well, Matron fucking loathes money.

Trust me, I know her.

What?

Thinking about it, maybe the thing with Bunny is...

..he wouldn't let any of us keep any of it.

He'd more than likely call it in.

He's a guard, for fuck's sake.

Yeah, and who does that help?

What is he, the only straight guard in the country?

More or less.

So, what do you think? To us?

I mean, I like the "us" part.

Good man yourself.

I don't like the part of tricking Bunny, though.

Think about it anyway.

Come on.

20 years I've been off them.

Do you think Maurice is still alive?

Don't know.

I'd say so.

I can't have him die on me, Bunny.

You must think I'm a queer one altogether, to be this upset over

Maurice after what you and me have been getting up to

these last few years.

I'm not one to judge.

Fuck you, Bunny. There was two of us in it.

Maurice knows about you, Bunny.

About us.

You what?

I told him.

And he doesn't mind.

What the fuck did you tell him about me for?!

Do you really think he didn't know?

All this time, you said yourself...

..he was a highly decorated Chief Superintendent.

How could he not know?

I could have easily called an actual plumber.

What would I be calling you for?

I mean, for fuck's sake, Bunny!

Course he knew.

All right, I get the picture, Marion.

I mean, one day, you're supposed to be unblocking the bathroom sink

and then the next thing, there's a problem with the en suite shower,

and who turns up every time with his half-empty toolbox?

Only Bunny "Butter Wouldn't Melt In His Mouth" fuckin' Ryan.

All right, you made your point.

Jaysus.

I'll never be able to look that man in the eye again.

Well, maybe you won't have to

if Wesley Swanson and his gang get their way.

Grinner is our bargaining chip.

Wesley wants Grinner.

We want Maurice.

It's a straightforward swap.

You'll go along with it, then?

Even though you said it was a trap?

I'm a guard. I'll think of something.

How have you been keeping, Bunny?

Oh!

Prrregnant...

Congratulations.

I don't know how I haven't heard.

Sure, you guards only tell each other the bad news, so...

How are you? How haven't I...heard?

Sure, wouldn't it be stranger if someone sought you out to tell you?

Ah. HE CLEARS THROAT

Well, I... Pfft... I...

Not bad, thanks.

You're... You're happy?

I am.

We are.

Good. Yeah.

Well, I suppose that's the main thing, what?

I heard you're coaching now.

Hurling. Yeah...

And, sure, how's that?

Look, I'm...

..I'm glad you're so well, Marion.

And congratulations, honest to God.

Congratulations.

I'll run in and get some snacks and sweeties.

Maybe an auld naggin of vodka.

Yeah, why not?

PHONE VIBRATES

Seriously, what the fuck, Bridget?

Oh! Good, sure, hello yourself.

Are you fucking thick? Was I not clear enough?

Where the hell are you and why aren't you here yet with the drugs?

Sorry, who do you actually think you're talking to?

Remind me, do I still work for you,

or are we not a bit past that fucking stage?

Those are on offer.

Thank you.

You're in a shop?

Yes, cars do run on petrol.

We need Grinner. We want the man patched up and alive, yes?

Didn't I not just risk my neck getting meds to save this bastard?

You should be thanking me. Listen to me, Bridget.

Fucking get here.

MARION HANGS UP

Don't you fuckin' die.

Oh...

I'm going for a shower.

Sorry about the hand towel.

Not used to visitors.

This thing is more of a dishcloth.

Got ya this. Ah, lovely.

It's Polish, triple-filtered.

They had no naggins, only bottles.

Ah, that's quality, it is.

I'll be back in a second.

Where are you going? For a slash.

Too much information. You asked.

RADIO: An interview with the winner...

POP MUSIC

..with two loaves for the price of one...

..get down...

And the first four callers are going

to get to meet the man himself in a...

CLASSICAL MUSIC

HE WHISTLES

Hello, Paul! What the fuck?!

Take it easy.

Come on, that's it.

In you go.

VAN STARTS

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Fuck.

Dear Lord, how do I turn this bastarding thing on?

CAR STARTS

HE GROANS

Oh, jeez.

What a beautiful day.

Oh, hey, hi!

Good morning. Mornin'.

Isn't this place just amazing?

It's up there with the Taj Mahal all right,

or the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.

Why, yes, sir, it is.

Morning, sir. Mornin'.

I could've sworn I left my sneakers right there last night, honey.

I'll look inside.

There's some beast you have. Pretty sweet, ain't it?

We shipped her over from Manitoba for the trip.

Not too small for you? Oh, nah. She's plenty roomy.

What are you, people smugglers? No. We're from Canada.

I'd never have guessed.

HE GROANS

Aargh!

HE PANTS

Aargh...

MACHINE BEEPS

Aargh!

Did you have your shower? There was no hot water.

Have a great day, folks!

Canadians.

Where's Grinner?

He's gone. He's fucking gone!

Ring Paul.

PHONE VIBRATES

You're awake, Paul.

Oh, it's good to have you back.

I missed you.

What's the balloons for?

You doing kiddie parties now, are you, you sick fuck?

Ah, we're going to have a party all right, Paul.

Will there be cake? Maybe a bit of pizza.

You can't have a party without pizza, can you?

Do you want to know what we're going to do at the party?

PHONE VIBRATES

Not particularly, no. We're going to play a few games, Paul.

You might even remember one or two of them.

And then I might bring you deeper into the woods

where no-one will hear you.

And I might chop bits of you off with a chainsaw.

I've a handy little Hyundai cordless there.

How does that sound, Paul?

Sounds like you're overthinking things, bro.

Still a smarty-pants little bitch, I see.

CAR HORN BLASTS

< Came out of nowhere...

PHONE VIBRATES

Yeah.

He's dead. Yeah.

Giant yellow vans don't come out of nowhere, Gino.

What the fuck are those? Dildos?

Hey, you! Get in the car.

This isn't getting us to Grinner.

Right, let's go. Put the phone down! Get in the car.

Hurry up!

What happened?

Oh, thank fuck.

Get me the fuck out of here!

How long till we're there, Gino? Not long now, boss.

Not long now? What type of a fucking answer is that?

Sorry. It's nine minutes.

That's more fucking like it.

PAUL RETCHES

Was that him?

PAUL PANTS

Yeah.

Fuck, I'm so, so sorry, Paul. I'm so fucking sorry.

I know. No, no, I fucked up. I put you in danger... It's fine.

..and I just thought... I didn't even think

I brought you to his house. It's OK.

I made you do that. You didn't make me do anything.

You thought it'd be good, and it was.

Smashing that fuck's place to bits. I'm glad I done it.

Forget it. It's over.

He's over.

Start the car. OK.

I am sorry, though. All right. Thank you.

Can I ask you one more thing?

What's the story with the dildo?

HE TUTS

I took it in case I had to defend myself

against bleedin' Wesley Swanson.

ENGINE STARTS

So, do you think Wesley was following your creepy guy?

I don't know. Don't think so.

I heard them talking like they don't know who the fuck he is.

My God, that's so weird, like.

Like, what are the chances of that? Must have been your guardian angel.

Does kind of feel like someone's looking out for us up there,

doesn't it? What do you think?

I don't know.

Maybe.

Bollocks. What?

Don't look. I said not to look.

You also said "bollocks" out loud, so my natural instinct was to look.

It's them.

Uncle Wes?

WES: Not now.

But...

Drive, would you?

Bleedin' handbrake!

Fuck...

Shit... Just drive! Shit, they're heading to the campsite.

We need to warn Matron and Bunny. Ring them.

PHONE VIBRATES

Where could he have gone?

I think he took me coat. And me wallet!

Some fucking detective you are!

Come on!

Fuck's... She's not answering. You may ring Bunny.

PHONE VIBRATES

Paul, where are you? 'Wesley Swanson's on the way.'

How long have we got? 'He just turned into the campsite.'

Listen to me now, Paul. You stay the fuck away from here.

I don't want you getting yourself killed.

Do you hear me? Fan out.

You get out of town.

Swear to me you won't put yourself in danger. 'But Bunny...'

Swear to me! 'I swear.'

Good man. I'll find you when we get out of here.

Change of plan. Wesley Swanson's here.

SHE GASPS

Shite! Come on!

You two! Out!

(Bunny, we've got to move.)

(We're boxed in.)

Right, down left.

There's nobody here, boss.

(I might have an idea.)

PHONE RINGS IN BACKGROUND

How'd you hear?

Ah, sure...

..us guys only give each other the bad news.

Sorry. That wasn't me trying to be fuckin' glib or...

You're all right to say it however you want.

Why have you come?

Cos I heard.

Why have you come, Bunny?

Do you see anyone else here? No, I...

I don't know exactly why I came. I think I...

..think I wanted to come and see if you were all right,

if you didn't need a... A what?

A friend?

Do you think you owe me that?

Friendship?

And how do I seem, Bunny?

How am I? Do I seem all right?

HE EXHALES DEJECTEDLY

Do you...

..want me to go?

I am so, so sorry, Marion.

Maurice is heartbroken.

Well, I can...

I can understand that.

It's OK.

The doctors think I may never be able to carry a baby to full term.

Jesus Christ, Bunny.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what to do with that.

How am I meant to know what to do with that, Bunny?

It's gonna be OK, yeah?

My baby. You're gonna be grand.

SHE SOBS

What do we do now? Bunny said he'll find us when they're safe.

TYRES SCREECH

Hello.

It's you. Yeah.

What are you doing out here? I was going to hijack a car,

but I need to get me breath back first.

Jump in, pet.

WHISPERS: I've got a knife.

Good for you.

Here. And no water, only vodka.

You'll feel better in next to no time.

Have you not got anything else you can give me?

I'm after giving you your meds. No, I mean anything else.

Anything stronger. I'm not giving you any drugs.

I need a little pick-me-up. I gave you your meds and that's it.

Jesus Christ, you're no fun.

An old ketamine lollipop or something.

You know, might settle me.

No! What about crack?

Have you got any crack? A few Es, whatever.

Don't mind him. Where are we going to?

I don't know, but we're no use around here.

We'll lay low until Bunny calls.

So what happened to you? Matron ratted me out.

Why? Money. She was getting money off Wesley.

No way. Yes way.

You didn't know? No.

Jesus.

Doesn't really surprise me, though.

What nurse drives around in a fancy Mercedes?

One that's bent as fuck.

Her and the cop, they wanted to hand me over to Wesley.

If he gets hold of me, he gets the gold.

You bring me to the treasure, I'll give yous half of it.

It's not so far away. We can go together.

I mean, yous haven't even seen it yet.

Chalices, gold crosses,

jewels, fucking piles of gold coins.

Half of all of that.

What do yous think?

We can't fucking trust him. Sure, I know that. I'm not thick.

No, I know you're not thick. It's just...

Grinner, he's exactly like me bleeding oul' fella.

What do you mean?

Like, when me da got out of prison,

he used to go on these benders for weeks.

But then Christmas morning would come...

..and the prick would always turn up, spotless clean,

with a big load of fuck-off presents under his arms.

Me ma would fall for it.

I'd fall for it.

But then, every year,

no matter how many presents he had for you,

you knew what was coming.

What?

We'd be in me nanny's for Christmas dinner,

and he'd be mulling the gargle.

And he'd see me ma watching him,

just waiting,

knowing it was going to kick off at some point.

He'd beat her?

He'd usually wait till we got home, Christmas night.

And then he'd smash the whole bleeding gaff up,

trying to get his hands on me ma.

And you know what I used to do?

Fucking nothing.

Look at this prick now.

Offering the bleeding sun, moon and stars.

I don't trust him, either.

But...

But what?

But this is your chance, Paul.

And you only get this once in a lifetime, if you're lucky.

You think we should go for it?

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

You told me it was all going to be OK. Do you remember that?

Well, tell me this, Bunny.

Is this fine?

Is he happy fucking camping? Happy fucking trails?

Well, that's it, Marion,

you let all the stress of it out.

If that means laying it into me, then you carry right on.

Better it's out.

Oh, God forgive me for thinking this.

But do you want to know what I was just thinking?

What if we...just kept on going?

Kept driving?

We'll get him back to you, Marion.

We'll get you back to your Maurice.

I wouldn't eat that, for fuck's sake.

That you worrying about my sugars, is it?

Well, I baked it, Bunny, so I should know.

I'd be more worried about you breaking your teeth.

I'm sure you're being modest, but, uh, yeah,

I'll take your word for it.

Sure, I only get a victim pay-out

if it happens in the line of duty, so.

THEY LAUGH

How long has it been now?

God, must be the...

Must be the hospital.

And how's life with you?

You fixed up yet? Any rings on your fingers?

No, sure, who would have me?

Ah...

They're out there. Hmm.

You seem awfully sure about that.

I meant the priesthood.

THEY LAUGH

Yeah.

You seem good.

It's good to see you seeming so good.

Fuck off, Bunny. What? It is.

Well, I am.

Yeah, I'm good.

I've been feeling a lot better these days.

Didn't take me long to get back to myself.

I didn't thank you at the time for coming.

I think you did.

Well, then I didn't thank you after.

Well, you didn't have to.

You didn't, sure. I was...I was at the hospital anyway.

Took a bite out of a sandwich you left in my fridge.

SHE LAUGHS

Ho-ho!

What's so funny?

Well, Bunny.

Well, Maurice.

Congratulations on the promotion. Ah.

SHE LAUGHS

Will you come and brown-nose the Superintendent for me?

I'll see you around, Bunny.

PHONE VIBRATES

SHE EXHALES HEAVILY

It's him.

What can I say to him? We don't have Grinner.

But Wesley doesn't know that.

This is the only way to get Maurice back.

I can't, Bunny. I can't.

It's buried in one of them graves.

Do you see all these crosses here?

I thought they were Xs. No, they're crosses.

A map of the graveyard.

Time to dig.

PHONE VIBRATES

I can't, Bunny.

VOICEMAIL: This is Marion. Leave a message.

BEEP

Fuck.

Oh, Maurice...

..that wife has left you high and dry, huh?

I can't get my head around that at all.

I mean, does she not like money?

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

Does she not like you, then?

I wouldn't say that, either.

She's took a liking for gold, has she?

Well, she does like a bit of jewellery,

but no more than any woman.

She sold you fucking out.

No.

Marion will come through for her Maurice.

You can be sure of that. Good.

Because the treasure I am looking for is so valuable, Maurice,

you can't put a price on it.

Oh, disgusting.

Ah, fucking rank. Rotten.

It's just a coffin. No treasure.

We put it in there on top of him.

Well, there's nothing there now.

Fuck it and anyways...

Are you sure this is the right place, Grinner?

Fuck!

Thieving fuck!

Fucking hell... Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Calm down, will you?

Somebody's gonna die for this.

He's not messing.

You're gonna knock that shit on the head, mate,

or I'll put you in that fucking hole with your pal, you hear me?

You're not gonna shoot me.

How do you know I won't?

Cos the safety's still on.

GUN CLICKS

I'll fucking shoot you now.

I can see it in your eyes, you haven't got the bottle.

I'll do it, then.

Yeah?

So that's me away, then, because of the marauding hordes of Vikings.

Oh, for the love of God.

There is one more precious treasure that you must take with you -

the most crucial of all by far.

Be warned. You must safeguard it with your very life.

You hear me?

Well, come on, Brother Clive. Very little time.

WHISPERS: Wow!

Oh, just, wow!

That's all genuine gold leaf, is it?

WHISPERING

Fuck me, that's fucking spooky.

This book tells of the very day and hour when comes the Antichrist.

It must be delivered into the hands of the Holy Father himself.

Th-The Pope?

So what, do I just rock up to St Peter's, is it,

and ask for him? Take this note.

It explains all.

But be warned -

the book must not fall into the hands of wicked men.

Absolutely not on my watch. Apostates, heretics, cheats,

counterfeiters, gluttons, thieves,

sinful prelates, sorcerers, soothsayers,

false prophets, fortune-tellers,

jugglers, players of dice,

necromancers, fornicators of all persuasions...

..corruptors of catamites and defilers of nuns.

We look out for all of the above, Venerable Abbot.

Pimps and pederasts... Gotcha.

..onanists. OK.

Sodomites. I think that probably about covers it.

BOOK WHISPERS

The book speaks of how to avert the apocalypse.

What is it I'm looking at here?

The diabolical flying machines.

Weapons of war.

A fallen world,

the end of times.

And who are these guys?

Angels? Demons?

I know not who they are. Oh, a mystery, then.

They came to me in a vision.

But something to do with the apocalypse?

I'll take that as a maybe.

Paul, I think you forgot your trousers. Bollocks.

What's that?

That is the estate where the treasure was first found.

GRUNTING AND SHOUTING

That car looks familiar, old man.

Shouldn't be too hard to find Marion now.

DOOR CLICKS OPEN

What are you looking for? Guns and ammo?

It's all fucked. We've no treasure.

And if we gave up now, we've nothing to go back to, do we?

Do we?