Original subtitles

There are so many dirty things in this world.

I can't breathe. I want to die.

If you were to kill me and die,

which would you rather be killed by me or die?

Which would you rather be killed by me or die?

If you were to die, I would die, too.

I suck at this.

oud

ound

tion there

to

No one can touch you, but why can I touch you?

Because you are you.

It's as beautiful as the winter meeting between Mishin and Kōmori-gasato on Kaibō-dai.

It's as beautiful as the day we met.

Is it Rotterdam?

Every time I look at you, I remember that word.

Are you saying it's Chigahagura?

It may be close to sunscreen.

Your work is called Hakoniwa, and I like it.

I like it.

Both Hakoniwa and collage will stabilize your spirit.

I'm sure Joseph Kordell will do the same.

Are the preparations for the exhibition going well?

Yes.

I'm looking forward to it.

Thank you very much.

It's hard to go straight.

Turn around a little.

Kawa Tokoban.

Takuboku Ishikawa.

Tozo Haraguchi.

Jimi Hendrix.

Ichiyo Higuchi.

Gram Persons.

Kaneko Misuzu.

Yoko Kusaka.

Yoko Takaya.

Janice Joplin.

Yutaka Osaki.

How old were you when you started welding?

Weren't you 39 years old?

Nothing has changed.

Since I was in college, I've been doing nothing but work.

People say you're a three-dimensional being.

People say you're a mess.

I'm sorry.

Hello?

Yes?

You look like you're going to spend the whole day working on a cake and strawberries.

It's romantic, isn't it?

Excuse me.

More than cleaning your grave.

Yes.

Yes.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about your part-time job.

Cleaning someone's grave.

You don't even know how to write a novel.

Takaya Kosu.

She joined an advertising agency.

She got into a loan company.

It's a worthwhile job.

If I fall, will you help me?

What are you talking about?

Of course I'll help you.

What about you, Tomoko?

You can swim, can't you?

Hey!

You idiot!

Excuse me.

I can't help you!

You're my aunt.

What do you mean you're my aunt?

You're old, that's why you're at your grandmother's house.

It's your mom's cousin.

When I came here for the first time for my college entrance exam,

she did everything for me.

She made me do everything.

Did you like her?

When I was in elementary school, my mother died.

I wondered if she was like this.

I like her.

I like you.

For eight years, I wondered when she would say that.

Why didn't you answer the phone?

Say something.

Seriously?

When I was little, you said you'd cut me with a knife and kill me.

Let's do it together.

I ran away from the washroom.

I was holding the door with my back.

But now you're cutting yourself with a knife.

Mom.

It's me.

I want to die. I want to die.

That's all you do.

Really?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Mojica?

Good morning.

If you're awake, go home.

I want to be with you.

I can't be your mother.

You're being mean.

If I'm with a man, I'll sleep with him.

But I'll never sleep with a man I slept with.

What's that?

If I sleep with a man, I feel like I'm a big hole.

It's deep and dark.

I can't see what's ahead.

Then why did you sleep with me?

I used to have a dream of sleeping with my father.

But I have a better dream.

My mother.

A dream of having sex with my mother.

How did you get out of that hole?

I slept with Tomoko.

I tried to make her a woman.

That's crazy.

It's crazy.

I said I'd help you if I fell, but I didn't jump in.

If I don't sleep with Tomoko, I won't see you anymore.

Do you work?

Why are you washing your hands?

Why are you washing your hands?

Huh?

Did you get your hands dirty?

By touching me?

What?

That's...

It's the same when you take it out.

Follow me.

Hey.

Why did you invite me?

All men are fathers.

What?

You look like your father.

What about my real father?

He went out.

When he was little.

Huh?

What?

Huh?

What's wrong?

Seiri.

Once upon a time, I slept with a man and he became Seiri.

I was surprised because he had red blood.

I thought he was a fool, so it was strange.

There's a lot of blood in Namuki's commercials, right?

That's right.

That's why I wanted to paint his face and back.

Then it became like a murder scene.

I had to change the scene.

Welcome.

I'd like to introduce you to Okazaki Mujika.

Oh.

Tomoko Takano.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Normally, I don't hire a young girl.

Because the customer is embarrassed.

But you somehow got it.

I think it's okay.

Then turn this way.

Yes.

Sit down.

Yes.

This is the admission fee.

Yes.

Yes.

Then you take the ticket and hand it over.

Do you understand?

Yes.

Welcome.

Welcome.

Here is the bill.

Here is the cash.

Yes.

It's easy, right?

There are women too.

He's a man now.

If you're free, you can do anything except sex.

I don't care what you do other than sex.

I'll be at the office if you need me.

Welcome.

Re-entry.

A new part-time job?

I want to die.

You said your short-term part-time job at the bakery was over, so I looked for you.

You always make me do weird part-time jobs.

I'd rather be a whore.

You know what a whore is, don't you?

You just wash your hands with your hands, so don't look away.

Don't make fun of me.

What are you afraid of?

I'm afraid of the liquid coming out of people.

The saliva, the blood, the urine.

I'm also afraid of the holes in the body.

When something comes in from there, I'm afraid of it.

I feel like I'm going crazy.

I want to die, I want to die, so I wash my hands.

I work part-time to earn a water bill.

Then I want to die again, so I wash my hands again and again.

If I die, I don't have to wash my hands.

If I die, what kind of death do you want?

I want to be brutally killed.

Then why?

This is a prayer.

And this.

You're not like that.

I don't know.

I've been living like this for ten years.

I don't really know what's beautiful and what's dirty anymore.

My values have been broken long ago.

Maybe I'm just following the rules without a basis that I've decided.

You should go to bed if you're going to fight.

What do you mean?

Sex is a simple ritual.

I'm just doing what you're doing with your fingers.

What?

Katatsumuri.

It's like kissing.

Katatsumuri is a death-or-life-like thing, so it feels like it's called a death.

It's like a death-or-life-like thing.

Then I have to focus on what I'm actually doing.

What I'm doing is a death-or-life-like thing.

It's like a death-or-life-like thing.

But if you do it on time, the time that you could've used to feel it would die.

That's what it's different from, you know.

But I'm going to work on that.

Is that penis?

I wonder if it's burning garbage or not.

Raw garbage?

Yes, raw garbage.

Excuse me.

We're done for the day.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

He's dead.

This...

He had it.

He had it.

He's... Dead.

Do you know him?

Let's make it our secret.

But...

The White Paper of the O.L.

Kusare.

A woman who faints.

Dizziness.

The more you faint, the more I love you.

According to the teacher... In the middle of the night...

Mr. Miku died.

He said he had a heart attack.

I might not be able to save him... even if there's a bloodstained person in front of me.

Because my hands are dirty.

If you think that, you'll be scared.

What if I'm about to die?

If I'm not me, you won't be able to touch me.

If you're not you, you won't be able to touch me.

If you're not me, you won't be able to touch me.

Mujika is my god.

I forgave myself.

For being touched by you.

And for touching you.

A nun is a virgin.

But after sleeping with a man,

do you think she'll believe in God and keep praying?

What do you mean?

I'll tell you something really dirty.

I bet she'll think so one day.

And you won't.

Come on?

Don't hit me.

Look!

You can't hurt me.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's dirty to be clean.

It's dirty to be clean.

No one understands God's feelings.

Thank you for the meal.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

Go home.

Take a rest.

I'll carry it.

It's fine.

I don't want to carry it.

Take it.

Hold this.

Thank you.

You're dating Mojika, aren't you?

No.

I thought we were dating since college.

We broke up the other day.

Why?

Why?

Mojika is an idiot.

She said she was in pain.

She broke up with you.

Mojika...

She's a child.

She's cruel, unprotected,

evil,

and a child who doesn't cry.

Give me a hand.

I'm sorry.

You're tickling me.

I'm sorry.

There's a novel about you who applied to the Ministry of Military Affairs and stayed until the end of your life.

I threw it away.

What's the story?

It's about a crazy high school girl who becomes normal.

Normal?

She goes to school,

gets a job,

gets married,

gets pregnant,

gives birth,

buys a house,

pays her loan,

and raises a child.

Do you want to be like her?

I think I can be like her.

But I can't wash my hands now.

Tomiko is...

a total idiot.

I don't like that.

It's okay.

I'm touching it.

Your hands...

are connected to Mojika.

Why didn't you call me?

I didn't notice.

You're lying.

Get out of my way.

Do you like Takaya?

Didn't you tell me to sleep with a man?

Do you want to come in?

I just brought this.

I'm not going anywhere other than here.

Oh.

Wow.

It's the first time we've cooked together, so it must be a lot of sauce.

Have you ever tried Takaya's food?

No.

Not even when I came home.

Do you think it's okay for me to try it first?

Of course.

Try it.

Thank you.

It's good.

Really?

Yeah.

It's a success.

Mojika's work...

It's good for her.

But I'm sure she doesn't think it's a shame... to carry things like music box or the music box.

She picked out things she likes and is like,

she wants to bring them when she dies.

Do you think I want to do it?

Shall I?

Oh, yeah.

Take this.

Let's have some wine.

Okay.

She's just drunk.

Try to be like Fujika.

Sleep by yourself.

Fujika!

Why didn't you come to the exhibition?

Did the work sell?

It sold out.

Azuhata-sensei sold it to me.

You liked it, didn't you?

But the Tomoko I had was scattered.

I thought I was being watched by strangers.

I collected them all and wanted to burn them.

What about the sales?

I won't return it.

I used to collect important things and put them in a box.

I didn't know where to hide them.

I put them in various places.

Under the bed or under the bookshelf.

But I didn't know where to hide them.

They disappeared.

I've been looking for them.

I'll find them with you next time.

Why?

I can't.

It's like there are only two people in the world.

I tried to sleep with Takaya-kun.

But it didn't work.

You liked Takaya, didn't you?

I thought I could do it because I slept with Fujika.

When I was touched by Takaya-kun,

I felt like I was hugging Fujika.

I felt like I had become Mujika.

That was wonderful.

But there are times when I want to cut off my hand.

If I don't have a hand, I don't have to wash it.

I don't have to touch it.

I can't see it.

There are times when I don't want to see it.

If I can't see it, I don't have to see dirty things.

I don't know if it's dirty or not.

I touch it.

This is also a meaningless ritual.

I mix blood.

Good night.

Good night.

It was the first time I was useful to people.

Did you get hit?

On the contrary, I argued about money.

What do you mean?

I know.

The person who died was the other way around.

When I ran out of money, I worked in a movie theater.

I had atopy.

I was forced to take off my clothes.

I was forced to take off my clothes.

I felt bad.

I was hit because I couldn't pay money.

Don't die.

You think it's dirty.

It's dirty and you can't die.

I'm scared.

Say it's dirty.

Say it.

It's dirty.

Don't say it.

I'm scared of salt.

Please do something.

It's dirty.

It's my first time to touch it.

Are you drunk?

Because Heaven said so.

Why they awkwardly put our sofort touch on you It's my heart.

This is Azuhada-sensei's room.

Do you understand?

Let's go out.

I slept.

With Tomoko-san.

Are you satisfied now?

Tomoko.

Did you feel pain when you put it in?

Did you bleed?

Did you feel it?

Since when did you say you were a hole?

You said you were a hole.

That's right.

What are you doing to yourself?

You hurt me.

You made me bleed.

It's your fault.

You broke our relationship.

You said you love me.

You broke it.

You broke it by using me.

Your relationship is

unexpectedly like that.

You can use me.

I'll go out to eat.

Did you sleep with him?

He was your boss after all.

It has nothing to do with Takaya.

I want to be happy with my power.

I want to be happy with my power.

When did you meet him?

He is a movie theater's customer.

Why did you follow me?

Because it was fun.

Won't you cry about me?

Don't move.

I was going to come home.

It's nice to have a room.

It was nice to have a room.

This is what it's like in the Tereheru castle.

Let's drink.

Let's sleep.

But...

There are two beds for the three of us.

Then I'll sleep here.

That's not it.

Tomoko will sleep alone.

Isn't that right?

If that's what you want.

No?

Come here.

Stop it!

I wish there was a bigger bed.

When I was in high school,

there was a very beautiful senior in the upper grade.

Her hands and feet were very thin.

Her hair was long.

She was kind.

She was good at painting.

I thought it wouldn't come true.

I heard that her dream was to become a novelist.

Even after my senior went to university,

we talked about various books.

But...

Rumors said that she was in an adult video.

So I looked it up.

I asked her who she was.

She didn't look at me.

But I kept looking at her.

When I were a young young adult, Besides, she slept young.

But before she got wasted, the president told me things I have not seen in a long time.

I feel like I can go anywhere, to anything.

Senpai moved and disappeared from my sight.

I wrote that in a novel and applied for it.

I couldn't get a prize, but I stayed as the final candidate.

It was years ago, but when I looked up Senpai's name on the internet, there was a blog where he posted a child's lunch box every day.

He was making character lunch boxes.

I laughed.

I might be the dirtiest one.

It's pretty.

Take it off.

The lizard was your nickname.

I want you to put a flower on it.

I like you.

But I can't.

I've never done anything.

It's impossible.

He knew it by himself.

He didn't want to touch me.

Then hold me.

I want to hold your heart.

Hold my body.

Hold my hands.

I decided to hug boys.

I thought I was a boy.

You're leaving your hometown.

You're coming back here, right?

That's what I wanted to say when I called you out.

That's all I want to say.

I slept with a man.

You told me to sleep.

But you wanted it.

You wanted to be touched by a man.

No, that's not it.

Why?

When Takaya and I were happy, I gave up on many things.

Why did you sleep with a man you didn't know?

I slept with a man I didn't know.

I always wanted to be like you.

You changed me.

You showed me dirty things and touched dirty things.

That's why I...

What's wrong with wanting to be normal?

I can't stay like this forever.

You used to be always bored.

You looked miserable.

You looked scared.

You washed your hands to protect your pure blood.

You looked like a boy.

Like a girl.

But I'm a woman.

I'm a woman, too.

If you were a man...

I hate men.

I hate women more.

You're not a god.

I loved you as a woman.

Goodbye, Tomoko.

Don't go!

Don't touch me!

Ms. Okazaki Mujika.

Yes.

This is Fukiko.

Takaya's mother's cousin.

Where is she from?

Takaya's mother's cousin.

I've heard from Takaya from time to time.

She's really cute when she laughs.

But she's always strong and lonely.

She doesn't laugh that much.

I want to make her laugh.

The driver is an old man.

He can't even remember his name.

He can't remember his name.

He can't remember his name.

And he's always running around.

You two have become one.

That's...

Takaya.

It's bitter.

It's true.

Bye-bye.

I always thought...

that Tomoko liked you more.

But it was the other way around.

I finally understood.

I finally understood.

What about you?

In the past, I wanted to die.

I had no choice but to make something.

Recently, I've always wanted to make something.

But I can't make anything.

I want to die.

Will you stop collaging?

I thought of going home.

My mother and I...

were abandoned by the same man.

Who?

My father.

When I was in elementary school,

my mother and I would fight in the morning.

She would shout, I'm going to kill you.

I would walk to school... I would offer her a ride.

I would go to class.

And I would think of my mother... who had a car.

I thought of my mother.

what would I do if I died?

I thought of those things.

When the evening came,

I got a call from my school's phone.

And I heard some familiar voice.

I said,

My mother is in that house again today.

And tomorrow, too.

She's waiting for me in that house.

Shall we... ...be friends?

Can we?

We can.

Takaya... ...and me.

When we were little...

...my mother told me...

...that we were twins.

Of course, it's a lie.

I was so surprised.

I realized that I was so lonely... ...because I had already lost half of what I had when I was born.

When I saw you... ...I felt like I had found half of what I had lost.

Momoko!

I'm coming!

Thank you... ...Mujika.

I wanted to be hated by you.

But you were always by my side.

Even if it wasn't your will...

...or if it was because of a small reason... ...or a random rule... ...I was always scared.

I wanted to break your rules.

I wanted to see if you were still by my side.

I wanted to try you.

When you were gone... ...I was able to touch anything.

But I don't know what I should touch now.

While I was saying I couldn't touch anything... ...there was no one to touch me.

Instead of not touching anything... ...touching anything is much scarier.

I'm sure... ...that I'll become a woman... ...who can sleep with anyone.

Look!

How nostalgic!

Where did you find that?

You gave it to me on my birthday, didn't you?

It's an important box.

Mom gave it to me... ...for my birthday!

Come here.

She's a hermit.

She's a hermit.

She's a hermit.

I thought you were a hermit.

You're anyway a hermit.

I'm not a hermit.