Original subtitles

Bye.

Oh, this is even more thrilling than I expected.

Aren't you frightened? I'm scared I've got goose flesh, but I love it.

Tell me, Louise, do you think it'll be as exciting as last night's performance?

Can't be sure there'll be another murder, but I know something is going to

happen. It better.

We gave up a perfectly good gin rummy game for this.

This is where they killed Vaudeville.

You don't understand, Grandpa.

This isn't Vaudeville. This is a review.

Their guest star, Jack Daly, was killed during last night's show.

Well, as long as they're shooting, I won't complain.

It's inviting you and me to the Riddle Bowl Jamboree.

Good folks don't stall.

There'll be loads of fun for all.

Everyone in town will be at the Riddle Bowl Jamboree.

Hurry, hurry, down to the levee. Don't be late with your day. Hurry, hurry,

hurry. Hear that grand Dixieland band syncopate.

Come on, get dressed.

I'll be in...

That's Wally Raymond. He's the new guest star.

Certainly has a lot of nerve after what happened to the last guest act.

chief of police in this township.

Get backstage and search all of them.

Hey, you officers in the rear, guard those doors. Make sure nobody gets out.

Girls, go on in your dressing rooms. All of you, go on.

Sit down, lady. No one's leaving.

Quiet.

Two murders and two performances.

We're gonna stay here and find out who did it if it takes ten years.

Keep searching them until you find that murder weapon.

Sonny Dunham, ain't you?

Yep. All right, Sonny, you can go.

You can put them instruments down, boys. I'll hang on to this if you don't mind.

This isn't the kind of place that makes you trust people, you know. Smart guy,

huh? Come on, speed it up. Speed it up.

Hurry up back there. Hurry up.

That's all.

You boys ought to be pretty good at this by now.

Yeah. You guys couldn't find your heads if they weren't tacked on. Hey, there's

nothing to be worried about anymore.

The show's finished. We're practically on our way to New York now.

How about it, you two, or are we interrupting something?

Hey, hey, you, where do you think you're going?

Say, Joan, why don't you let me buy you a half of the farm? I can't give you

much for it, but at least it'll be enough so you and the rest of the show

can get a start someplace else.

Well, that's awfully sweet of you, Bill, but I just couldn't bring myself to...

Well, no soap, Max. There's no trace of a weapon. This is the second time you

lockheads haven't found anything.

Good thing we don't get many murder cases.

Don't get many?

Well, I suppose we'll have to let him go.

Wait a minute.

I've got an idea.

Folks, you can all leave now, but we're expecting you back here Saturday night

for another performance.

Another performance?

I'm not coming back next Saturday night. You'll have to catch me first.

In case you get a little absent-minded, let me remind you that you're all

suspects in a murder case.

The officers at the door will take your names and addresses, and you can

consider it a subpoena to be back here next Saturday night. And if that don't

work, we'll call for you in person.

Good night and pleasant dreams.

What's the matter with you, Mackenzie? Are you out of your mind? How can you

even think of giving another show?

Look, Miss Barry, when your first guest star was murdered, we figured one of his

underworld pals must have let him have it.

We know all about Jack Daly's connections. That's why we let you give

another show. But two murders add up to something else. Somebody doesn't want

you around here. Where'd you dream that of? It makes sense. Right now, we don't

even know where the murderer was.

The first bullet came from the stage, the second from the audience.

I purposely changed the guest star spot.

I thought Wally would be protected with the whole cast on stage.

We're not blaming you, Miss Barry. That's white of you, but who takes the

blame for the third performance?

We will, and we'll also take the credit.

I'm willing to bet if we put on the show exactly as it was tonight and use

another guest act, the murderer will try to do some more homework.

Another guest act? Are you kidding? Lives don't mean a thing to Mr.

McKenzie. We'll see that everybody's protected. No one's going to get hurt.

Don't you realize you can't get another act up here after what happened?

Performers are superstitious people.

You just leave the details to me. From now on, I'm in show business.

I'm telling you, Mr. McKenzie, it's no use.

You can't get an actor in the world to appear as a guest star in that dead

house. I told you it couldn't be done.

Oh, he always makes noises like that.

Couldn't you try just a little harder?

You don't seem to understand, Mr. McKenzie.

I've spoken to every actor on Broadway. I've even been to the Flea Circus.

Well, I guess we won't be bothering you anymore, Mr. Kemp. We'll be on our way.

Just a minute. You can get a train out of here before midnight, and I'll have

another look around.

Now you're talking.

There's a little night spot down near the station.

I'll meet you there.

It's called the Café Royale.

It's the first time I've been in a nightclub in ten years.

Where's the... Never mind, I'll find it.

What's going on here?

Oh, well, a customer.

What are you doing?

I got a liquor stain. I want to get the odor out of here. Well, sure.

We'll give you a shine.

I don't want this.

Don't worry about a thing.

What he needs is a little crow to dren the duke alone. That's what he needs.

Hey, get that out of there.

Why, go on and shave yourself.

You need a little manicure here, too. I don't want a manicure. Well, look at

this hangnail you've got over here. Hey!

Oh! Wonderful.

Now! Now, here you are, sir.

I don't want it. It's your coat.

I don't want it.

I'm sorry.

I'm very sorry. There you are. He's only...

Now you've got it. That smells terrible. What do I tell my wife? We'll tell her.

She's not here.

I'm here with another girl. Oh, come on. You fellas don't understand.

Here.

Here's a quarter tip for you. Wait a minute. We can't split a quarter. Give

us 15 cents.

Yeah.

That's different than normal life.

Look, how about giving us another chance, will you? Nothing doing. I

almost got fired because you guys nearly broke up the place the last time.

Besides, I'm introducing four new acts tonight. I know, but gee whiz, give us

another chance. Sorry, you guys couldn't entertain an imbecile. Yes, we can. Sit

right down and we'll show you. You see what I mean? Well, I don't know. Gee,

you're a type of guy. You're a nice kid. Give us a chance. Now, wait a minute,

Bobby. Can't you see you're weak? Sorry, the answer is no.

But just wait a minute.

Come on, boys. We're on next. Now, change the name and the hat. You did?

Yeah. Hey, wait a second.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, that vivacious little bundle of charm, that

singer of sweet songs, the Three Jolly Jesters.

Three Jolly Jesters.

Once he was weak and skinny, and he weighed but a scant 90 pounds. My chest

was misplaced somewhere down at my waist, and my muscles were all out of

bounds.

He was a guy girls laughed at. You should know all the ribbing he took.

The girls, we agree, were built better than he.

But that just depends where you look.

Then he remembered an ad he had seen somewhere in a magazine.

Don't be a weakling. Be strong.

Take my lessons for 15 minutes a day.

So I took the advice of the ad and I followed this muscle plan.

He deads! Look at him now!

Today I am a man!

Atlas did it.

Charles Atlas did it. And I'm no longer a weak puny guy.

He's got contented corpuscles. His muscles have bustles. I can pick up two

dames with one eye.

Atlas did it.

Charles Atlas did it.

And when he saw the results, he just cried.

The only words he could speak. Well, brother, what a physique.

Atlas did it. Atlas did it. Atlas did it. Yes, Atlas did it. And I hope he's

satisfied.

Yes, and he can do the same thing for you, ladies and gentlemen.

This wonderful will tell you everything.

Just look at that specimen. At one time, you had to look at him twice to see him

once. And look at him now.

What a mess.

Look at that wrist.

Look at that forearm.

Ladies and gentlemen, to prove his strength, he will tear this telephone

book from A to Z.

There you are, ladies

and gentlemen.

Not all folks. He will take this barge, this side of the barge.

He will take the barge and put it between his feet just as this.

I've put it in here a long time ago.

And there you are, ladies and gentlemen. And now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing

fake, nothing phony. The real McCoy, just to prove it to you.

Nails, you see. I put my back on that. There you are. Nails.

I'll bet you think they're on wires. Well, they are. Atlas did it.

Yes, Atlas did it.

Atlas did it.

Well, you're just the boys I've been looking for. We're not looking for you.

I got a swell spot in the musical comedy for you. Musical comedy?

We're not interested.

We're going in for drama this year.

Do you ever hear of the Green Barn Playhouse?

No, but we heard of the Green Bay Packers. It's a summer playhouse in the

Berkshires. Now, they're putting on a musical comedy called Fun for All. Now,

it's a great opportunity for you boys.

Every act in turn is after the job. What about the money?

Well, it's only a barn theater.

Get the three little pigs.

You mean you don't want this?

No, we don't want it.

Of course, it's a bar and theater, but it's in the country.

Just think of the ham and eggs for breakfast.

That big stack of wheats.

Nice fried chicken and corn on the cob for lunch.

And for dinner, you have nice thick steaks. And nice apple pie.

And nice hot coffee.

With sugar?

Yes. That's it, brother. Give us the coffee.

All right, Charlie.

Three of them this time, huh?

Yep.

My, my.

Do we really have to dance?

The music's simply divine.

If you have no heart, don't try to steal mine.

You're a perfectly swell person and there's nothing like a nice

romance.

But don't you care if people stare?

I guess we ought to dance.

I'm afraid to take a chance.

Oh, come on.

While there's that look in your eyes. Perfectly natural. Oh, don't you think

we ought to dance?

Uh-uh. Neither do I.

perfectly swell person and there's nothing like a nice romance.

But don't you care if people stare?

I guess we ought to dance. I'm afraid to take a chance while

there's that look in your eyes.

So don't you think we ought to dance?

Uh-uh. Neither do I.

Hold it, everybody.

What's the matter with you people?

You're not putting any pep into it.

Well, how do you expect us to feel? Every time we make a move, we see Jack

Daly and Wally Raymond staring at us.

Maybe you can forget two murders, but we can't. Oh, they just want to make a lot

of noise.

They'll go through with it.

Now, listen, everybody.

I know how you feel. I'm scared stiff myself, but there's nothing we can do

about it. Now, why not make the best of it and give a real show?

Look out!

What's the matter with you?

It wasn't my fault.

Something's the matter with the spot. The screw must have slipped. Couldn't

have slipped on purpose.

You heard me. It was an accident.

You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

The whole pack of you.

We got three guest stars coming up here who are really risking their necks and

you are squawking. They must be awfully tired of living.

They're nuts.

Hello, everybody.

Meet the three new stars of the show.

Hey, you lucky people.

Now, don't show them everything, will you?

How do you do? I'm Joan Barry.

Well, how do you do? We're the Jolly Jesters. I'm Harry. This is Al. Al, this

is Joan.

Joan, this is Jimmy. Jimmy, this is Joan. And now I pronounce you man and

wife. May I be the first to kiss the bride? Sure, go right ahead.

I'd like you to meet Mr. McKenzie, our chief of police. Okay, Mr.

McKenzie.

Not him.

Oh, you'll like Mr.

McKenzie. He grows on you. Well, I hope he doesn't grow on me. I'll have to have

my suits on. Sure, how do you grow on him?

So, these are the heroes.

They look so young. Why, Charles Atlas did it. Yes, folks, and he can do the

same thing to you in ten easy lessons. Put that away. It takes nerves of steel

to be in your shoes. Oh, no, just a little cardboard.

Oh, you're just being modest. Only real troopers could get up on this stage

tomorrow night. Why, honey, we'll murder him. Or vice versa.

I'd cut that out if I were you. Boys!

I guess you'd like to change your clothes for rehearsal.

Why, no, we'll work right in these clothes. Sharp as a tag. You fellas got

any music? Yeah, sure. This is a number we did for the boys in the army camps.

Oh, they loved it. Say, fellas, remember when they all stood up and they saluted

us? Hey, come to think of it, they had the thumbs in the wrong place. Well,

before we do this number, honey, how about a little kiss for good luck?

Well, I... Oh, come on.

Hey,

don't we share a likeness?

All right, I'll split it.

Boys, the stage is yours.

Okay. All right, maestro, play an eight-bar introduction. We'll make our

entrance right there.

But good and funny, will you?

Keep them laughing.

Fill the place with smiles. Keep them laughing.

Roll them in the aisles. It's the joke. It's the pun. It's the gag that'll

thrill ya.

Get a load of this one. Say, brother, this'll kill ya. Say, fellas, did you

hear my new theme song?

No, why did you? If you can't make both ends meet, make one end vegetable.

Oh, well.

Keep them laughing.

Keep them filled with mirth. Keep them happy.

Laugh for all they're worth. If they're sad, if they're glad, it's the joke that

decides. Keep them laughing.

Keep them holding their sights.

Say, boys, did I tell you? A little stranger has come to live at our house.

A blessed event?

Nope. My sister married a midget.

Keep them laughing.

Make your neighbor grin. Keep them laughing.

Brother, and you're in. It's the gag. It's the joke. It's the way that you

word it. This is really murder.

Stop me if you heard it. Say, boys, do you know I got water underneath?

What do you do for it? I wear faucets.

Well,

we'll try them once more. If they don't laugh, we'll try them again.

Keep on laughing.

Make the people howl. Make their worries throw in their towel.

Say, fellas, you know my girl's carrying a torch for six weeks? In love with it,

eh? No, she's a welder at Lockheed.

If they're sad, if they're glad, it's a joke like these sides. Keep them

laughing, keep them holding.

singing and dancing on bloodstains.

Bloodstains? Who was it? You've probably heard of them. They were the last two

Gestabs. You mean like us? Yes, and they were murdered in cold blood.

Danny!

Hey, take the exit, take the exit. Will you play another chorus, Bob?

Those smart-alecks aren't going to put anything over on me.

Boy, I'm sure glad we got out of that shooting gallery. We never had any

trouble ducking tomatoes, but bullets, they're too sneaky.

Hey, look at those people calling that show fun for all.

I'm glad we got out of there before they called the three men on a hearse. Yeah.

Wait a minute. Let me handle this.

This always works in pictures.

You'd have done better if you shaved. Yeah. No car appeal. That's right. No

car appeal. You know how long... Come on, you guys. We got to get somewheres.

Now, look, will you characters let the mastermind show you what to do? Yeah.

Now, watch me. Here.

I'll show you. Now, get back at me. Get back at me. Get over there. There's a

car coming. Hurry up.

You poor, unfortunate man.

Step right in. Get right in.

Boy, this is great.

Okay, okay.

How'd you do this?

Well, of course, of course. I looked at it once in Brooklyn. Don't tell me what

I'm doing.

I've been doing it straight now.

I did it a long time ago. Where do you boys want to go?

Why, you.

They don't know that.

I don't have to tell you boys how much you're staying here would mean to us,

but if you want to, you're free to go.

Free to go? Well, now you're talking.

Where's that timetable?

Here it is. A worthy David.

Leaves for New York at 9.20. Nothing sooner, it's only 9.15.

That's all right. It'll give us some time to get something to eat.

I started this theater to help give those kids a break.

John even gave up a singing career for this.

Hey, here's another one. The Crowley Special.

What time does it leave?

It says C-Index. C-Index? What do you want to see him for? He never gives you

the right information. I always had trouble with the guy. Who?

Index, the guy with the...

I suppose it doesn't make any difference to you whether these kids get to

Broadway or not.

Broadway?

Broadway?

Certainly. We've had a lot of producers up here. If we can ever get to put on a

whole performance, the show's a cinch to land on Broadway.

With us in it? Of course.

Broadway. Broadway.

Why, that's the place to be. I can see it all now.

Our name in electric lights.

The Jolly Jesters. The three Jolly Jesters.

They're coming into the theater.

Crows. Why, they're packed.

The people are out there. The music.

The critics.

Broadway. Well, that's the place to be.

I always... Hey,

it ain't bad here either. No.

All right, everybody, rehearse. Wait a minute. You can't do that.

What am I doing? I'm playing gin rummy. What am I doing?

Do you realize you flew out the lights?

How can you blow out a little bulb like that? It's silly.

I never heard anything... Here's another fuse.

What's going on here?

That's what I'm going to find out. See that those guys don't do any more

shaming. Oh, please, once over lightly.

No! All right, let's have the whole story. What do you know about these

killings? I don't know anything about them.

I suppose somebody shoved a gun into your hand. Sure, it's my gun. I bought

it. I figured as long as we had to go through with this performance, I was

going to have an even chance to protect myself.

I guess that's the reason you shot at us, to protect yourself.

I guess I lost my head. I saw a face, a horrible old face.

What are you looking at me for?

He was at that window, right over there.

And he was wearing a red suit and driving a slate.

Did anyone else see him?

Oh, Dan, he wouldn't do anything wrong. I know he wouldn't. Did you see it?

Well, no, I... That's what I thought.

Take them away.

Don't let them out of your sight until I get a report on this gun.

Oh, now, just a minute, Babs. Take it easy.

Now, maybe we'll be able to get some sleep.

All right, everybody. I think we've had enough. What about my Ted Lewis routine?

You said you were going to listen to us. We'll make it some other time. I knew

you'd pull this. I warned you about that Ted Lewis routine.

You're not only keeping us out of work. Think of what you're doing to Ted Lewis.

Yeah, well... Sonny, you'd better find a place for the boys to bunk tonight.

I'll see what I can dig up. There's no room here at the barn.

You mean you sleep here?

The fellas do. The girls are up at the farmhouse. The girls are at the

farmhouse? Well, if the boys are too crowded, maybe I should... Yeah, I

was

just...

Room for a visitor?

Oh, hello.

I didn't mean to interrupt.

Just didn't feel very much like sleeping.

Have a cigarette?

Thanks.

Time I quit anyhow.

This is all my fault.

If you weren't so busy worrying about us, you wouldn't have to work nights.

Oh, that's all right. Besides, I'm beginning a light show business.

You know, this is the first time I've ever been in your lab.

It's all this.

All part of the work.

Work? Sure. There's a whole lot more to farming nowadays than just raising

crops. You'd be surprised the number of things that come from farm products.

All kinds of plastics, artificial wool.

Take this.

One of the most powerful explosives that we have.

Comes from simple grain.

You'd better put that down. I wouldn't fool around with that stuff.

I didn't mean to scare you.

You didn't.

No, this isn't exactly the bridal suite.

It ain't even sweet.

Well, Liz, would you think I was a fraidy cat if I told you that I was

scared? Certainly.

Well, Mom was right. We should have gone straight instead of becoming actors.

Say, do you think that killer's prowling around tonight?

Nah, he doesn't work without an audience.

Hey, have you been eating radishes?

Radishes, are you?

There must be somebody at the door.

Go see who it is.

Who, me?

Well, let's all go see who it is.

That's better.

It's a bomb!

Hey, get easy.

It's just the wind.

Well, I wish the wind would go to sleep.

Come on, let's get some shut-eye.

Yeah, the horse wants his blanket back at 5 o'clock.

Have you got a gun? If I had a gun, I'd shoot myself.

Let's scream for help.

Twelve o'clock, and all's well.

That's just one man's opinion.

The charge is all set. We'll wait here

until it explodes.

That'll get everybody out of the theater, then we can carry out our job.

Hey, did you hear that? Sounds like whispering.

Who do we know that whispers?

What do we do if it doesn't work?

Then we let the killer take care of the third guest back at tomorrow night's

show.

Did you hear what I heard?

Yeah, let's faint.

Wait a minute, there's a couple of guys in this show trying to put a scare into

us. Are you sure of that? Of course, who in real life can talk as corny as that?

I could just feel myself listening to you and getting into trouble again. Oh,

come on, let's go out and throw a scare into them.

Get in back of me.

I can hear a shot get in front of me.

Come on, let's go.

Now look, all I did was... I didn't mean it, sir. Hey!

You can't do that to him.

Oh, no!

Wait a minute.

You can't hit him. He's my brother.

I'll hit him. Yeah.

I'm just a killer, ain't I?

I'll just fight any... Hey, wait a minute. Now, look,

fellas. I'm a good guy. I didn't mean to do anything.

Let's blow.

Whoever's trying to drive us out of here is certainly working overtime.

Hey, Joan.

Look at this.

Down to sleep through the whole thing.

Okay, it's only a couple of bars till showtime.

Hey, Clay.

Hey, Clay.

You know, we tangled with the killers last night. When we got into a fight, I

tell you, I threw her left, I threw her right, I hit him right in the kisser.

All right, now, what happened? Well, they knocked us out. But that's beside

the point.

While everybody was in the fire, we were battling for our lives. Oh, stop it. I

saw you guys myself. You were sound asleep.

We were unconscious.

You can say that again.

All right, we were unconscious.

Then he grabs me and with one finger he knocks me out.

Ah. Yeah, like this.

Damn. What are you...

You see, nobody believes us. I guess when we were shot tonight, they'll think

we committed suicide.

Did you recognize any of those men? Yes, there were a tall... Who said that? What

happened? I didn't recognize them, I tell you. There were six big guys. No,

no, no, there were five.

There were four guys who looked like eight, but they were tall, big guys. Oh,

yeah. And I tell you, one of them must have been Humphrey Bogart.

Hey, we could have used a guy like you. Where were you?

Well, unfortunately, one of my cows had a recent addition to the family. Well,

congratulations. You know, I think you boys have got something there. I've been

trying to figure out all along why people wanted to drive Joan away from

here. Well, maybe it was a form of criticism.

You know, those actors are in that barn night and day. And if there was

something hidden in there, it might explain those murders.

Might explain why that explosion happened last night.

It might have been a trick to empty the theater.

Oh, our board of actors used to do the same thing. Look, we've got to search

that barn from top to bottom. You with me? I'm with you. We'll never let you

down. Come on, let's go. This guy, he's very good.

Who is that guy?

Oh, that's the guy that owns half of the farm with Joan.

Oh, yes. His father and her father were friends. When they died, they left him

half and her half.

Half, half, him half, her half farm. Oh, that's wonderful, a farm.

I wish we had a farm.

So peaceful, so beautiful, so quiet.

What am I saying?

Hey,

what are you boys doing around here?

We just thought we'd take a look around. The boys overheard something last night.

You're wood for for that story. They're just using it as an excuse not to go on.

Sounds kind of reasonable to me.

Well, let me know when you get the case solved, Sherlock. I'll still wait for

the report on the gun. We'll keep you posted.

Now, wait, wait, wait a moment, old boy. Look here.

It's very elementary, very elementary.

Any six-year-old child can figure this out. Go get a six-year-old child.

Come here. Look here, look.

Who? Who killed the first guest act?

Who? The second guest act, of course. He came along, took his job away, and

killed him.

Now, who killed the second guest act?

Who? It was the third.

That's us. He came along and killed the second guest act.

All you have to do is find the third guest act and you have your murderer,

old boy. Very simple. We're the third guest act. The third guest act. Yes.

Now, where will I find the third guest act?

You're mean, aren't you?

Well, look here. Go find him. He's around somewhere.

I don't... What are you asking me?

Stop it, will you?

Look, he's around. He killed all the... Will you stop?

The third... Yes, the third... The third guest act.

Well...

The third.

Hey, don't find anything without us.

We better find something pretty soon. We haven't got much time. You're not

kidding. Well, never say die.

I had to open my big mouth.

Hey,

you see somebody just come in here?

No, I didn't.

What's the matter? Something bothering you?

No, nothing important.

I saw that face on a bottle of iodine.

Mr.

Five by five five feet tall, he's five feet wide.

He don't measure no more.

From head to toe, then he'd do from side to side.

Mr. Fly-Five-Five. With fifteen chins and a line of jive.

He's a mellow old man, a real hip-hop. He'd be Mr.

Fly-Five-Five.

That man can really jump it for a fat man.

The only trouble is, is no way.

Look who's here.

My honey, we're a big hit all over. We'd be sensational on the radio if we were

too tall.

You know, I'm a great musician.

Is that so?

Yes. I play the drums with my feet, the cymbals with my knees, and the harmonica

with my nose. So what do you do with your hands? I hold them over my ears.

Who can listen to all that?

Mackenzie just phoned, said he wanted to be sure this guy was in the show.

Oh, I knew they'd clear you, Danny.

He didn't say anything about clearing him. He just said he wanted the show put

on exactly as it was.

Well, that's going to be very nice for everybody.

Clay, come on, Danny. You'd better get into your costume right away. You're on

in a minute. Okay, thanks.

Hey, Danny, good luck. If you're not the murderer, remember, we've had faith in

you. If you are the murderer, I hope we're not your type.

Come on, boys, break it up, will you? Okay, okay.

How come Mr. McKenzie isn't here by now?

He was held up in town. Something important happened.

But he promised to be here just as soon as he could.

Mr. Flynn, look.

Bill!

Oh, hello, Joan.

Say, what are you trying to do?

Why, I was just looking back at that scenery there like you told me to,

remember?

Oh, yes, I almost forgot.

Hey, you two ought to get together.

Now, what are you really up to?

I don't know yet. I'll tell you when I know more about it.

Hey, Bill. Hey, Bill. Bill. Mr. Bill, come here. What? Any trace of the

murderers yet? Not yet, but I think I smell a rat.

Anybody we know?

No sense of humor.

Yeah.

I hope those killers like our rat tonight. Then they go easy with us. What

are you worrying about? When I do that Ted Lewis imitation, I'll murder him.

You know that Ted Lewis. You know what?

The Ted Lewis with the clarinet. I know.

Well, I was only kidding.

That's better.

Well, if you don't give me a chance to do it, I know what I'm going to do.

There'll be no Ted Lewis, you understand?

Where'd this come from?

Must be sabotage.

You'll do that imitation over my dead body.

How can I do it over your dead body? There you are laying, and I have to

cross over so many things. You're dead.

Ah, shut up!

What's more, he can't do it. They'll say he stole it from the Ritz brothers.

and i'll bring the shoes you bring the license that we have to use and we'll be

holding hands on our golden wedding day just don't forget what you have to bring

i'll bring the finger but you bring the ring and we'll be holding hands on our

golden wedding day if you change your mind after 50 years or

so I promise I won't stand in your way I'll let you go

on the day you take me to the church if mama starts crying in a curtain don't

mind cause you'll find she's happy for you and me I'll bring the folks to fill

up the stalls you bring the tickets to Niagara Falls and we'll be holding hands

on our golden

Those silly days we spent, we didn't have a cent, and took the bridal suite

without a thought about the rent.

Oh, wasn't it wonderful?

And wasn't it silly, dear?

The night we took that ride out in the countryside, you pulled that out

of gas gag, and I just... Just become your bride

We take our love and try to burn both ends.

It's tough to be just friends, but you're my favorite idiot.

This picture...

got some news, there will be a great relief to all of you.

We've found out who's responsible for these killings.

Grab him.

I thought we'd find you hanging around backstage.

Where did you dream this up, Mackenzie? From your own laboratory.

The report on last night's explosion proves it was caused by one of your

synthetics, a grain explosive.

Bill couldn't have done it. Somebody must have stolen it from the lab.

We should have had this figured out a long time ago. He's the only one to have

anything to gain by driving you out. He offered to buy you out, didn't he? Out

the goodness of his heart?

Well, that's true, but that still doesn't make him a murderer.

It's enough for us to go on. We'll get the rest out of him in town.

Take him away.

Bill! Don't worry, I'll be back in a little while.

Mackenzie's just trying to make a grandstand play.

Any dope would know he's innocent.

Sure, I knew it all the time.

We sure hate to leave you guys. We'll miss you too.

I guess we owe you an apology.

That gun's okay.

Thanks.

Folks, from now on, you can see the show without worrying and without suspecting

everyone around you.

Our work's done. So relax and enjoy yourself.

That's all, boys.

It's a shame to arrest Bill. He's innocent.

Yeah. Say, if he's innocent, the killers would still be in the loose.

Let's get out of here. Wait a minute. I'm surprised at you fellows. Remember

the tradition of the theater?

The show must go on.

Have we ever let the public down before?

Well, then killers or no killers, the show must go on.

So put it on. I'm going home.

Hey! Hey!

Bill! You sure didn't waste any time getting away. You can get pinched for

not staying arrested.

Take it easy, fellas.

We're getting dangerous, getting dangerous.

Hey, what are we going to do with this guy? Well, he can't stay here. We've got

to find someplace.

Well, let's see. I don't... Wait a minute.

I've got it. I've got it. I'll tell you what.

Bill. Bill.

What did you do with him? What did you do with him? What do you want from me?

Easy, easy. Here comes the trail, the trail. What are you guys up to?

Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.

What's that?

Termites. Termites?

Must be taking dancing lessons.

Look out.

You can't. There's no knob on this door.

There's something over here.

Where is it?

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Here, hold it.

Hold it.

Hold it.

Hold it.

Would you like to try for the $64 question?

That kind of a station.

No, it's a transmitter used to send messages out of the country. You mean

spies? That's right. They were probably having a field day here until Joan took

the barn over, and they couldn't get near this thing.

Actors all over the place. Hey, they must have had some pretty important

messages to send through last night. I think they were willing to do it right

under our noses.

Plenty of shade.

Oh, get me out of this! Say, what are you peeking at? The horseshoe on the

wall. Horseshoe? What horseshoe? Over here somewhere. Right here.

Say, Joan.

Bill, what are you doing here? How'd you get away?

Do you remember that secret that I promised to let you in on? Yeah. There

it is.

It's a short wave set. That's right. That's the motive. Now all we've got to

do is find the killers. Well, how are we going to do that?

Oh, that's up to you fellas. We? Yeah, sure. You've got to get out there and

sing. Sing?

Wait a minute. With no cops around?

And the killers still in training? Ah, nobody will get hurt. I promise you.

Bill wouldn't give you a wrong steer, boys. I know, but it's not so much for

myself as for these two. You know, they've been my... Flesh and bones, and

I don't want anything to happen to them.

There's a few. You're on. Go on. You're on. All right.

Everything's going to be all right.

Wait a minute, fellas.

Remember, if anything happens to me, you can have everything I own.

What do we do with the yo-yos? Oh, go on. Go on. Go on.

Hail to the bravest of the brave.

to live or die with the bravest

of the brave.

I should have stood in bed. Yeah, me too.

The killer's just waiting for us. We can catch the murderers some other way. Show

me men whose one guiding light is a valorous heart.

Those are men who will fight.

Men who are true when they are tried.

Give me those men at my side.

We are the bravest of the brave.

Men of steel, men with real audacity.

We are the bravest of the brave.

Men who fight

with the right tenacity.

Son, the pioneers parade.

just some bold firmly stand until the blood runs cold

Mr. Ted Lewis!

What you do with the lining?

Priorities

When my baby

That will shoot if he hits high C.

It's got a gun in it.

I'm not going to run in the aisle.

What

are

you bothering us for? We're going terrific out there.

Well, I'll be a killer-diller.

That explains why one bullet came from the stage and the other from the

audience. Clay was on stage during the first part of the show and in the pit

for the rest of it. No wonder he was so anxious to join the band. He practically

offered to work for nothing if we'd only take him.

You mean he wasn't a regular member of your outfit? No, no, he just joined us

for this one job.

All right, come on, get in here.

We found this guy hanging around outside. He looks mighty suspicious to

me. What were you doing out there?

I've been around... here for weeks, trying to work up enough of courage to

ask Miss Barry if she could use another hoofer.

through the church if mama starts crying in a crutching