Original subtitles

This sketch is titled, "Desert Island."

Hey!

What?

What? Where are we?

-I believe we're on a desert island. -What?

-Are you twins? -Are you twins?

-Are you twins? -What?

-What? -What?

What? What is it?

-I'm blonde! -No way! I'm blonde!

Whoa, I'm blonde!

-What? Why? -Why?

-Why? -Why?

I was always blonde.

Why?

-Why? -Hey, look!

There are surveillance cameras all over!

We're just a part of a bored millionaire's freak show.

Millionaires just have way too much time to kill.

You've got to be kidding me!

That reminds me. What item did you bring?

-What? -From when we filled out the survey!

"If you could take one item to a desert island, what would it be?"

Oh! Well…

Oh, I brought a lighter!

Oh, good! Good job!

-What did you bring? -I…

didn't know that question was such an important one.

I said, "I don't need anything."

-You've got to be kidding me! Why? -What have you done?

Wait, what about you?

I brought…

a Japanese dictionary.

What?

What? Why?

A Japanese dictionary?

I'll never get bored of reading it.

And who knows? We might encounter some encouraging phrases!

How disgusting!

This sucks!

Sucks, the worst possible state.

We already know that!

The lighter!

-The lighter! -I didn't mean to throw it.

Perfect…

-Ms. Nakahama has washed ashore. -What?

Hey! You didn't call her by her first name.

She's probably here to see Haruto.

Tell her I'm not here.

-Why? -I can't be bothered.

Oh, do you want me to get it?

It's okay. I'll get it now.

-Good evening. -Good evening.

Ms. Nakahama.

First name!

I'm sorry to barge in like this.

Is Haruto here?

He's actually out at the moment.

Yes, he's wearing a different pair for a change.

-Yes. -Yes, I wonder why.

I wanted to apologize for yesterday,

so could you give it to Haruto?

Apologize?

I thought about apologizing the next time he came to the restaurant,

but my previous job always said to apologize right away for a mistake.

You saw him at the park last night, right?

I heard you were drunk and he got wrapped up in that.

Yes, I messed up once again.

Are you okay?

In terms of what?

I just wondered if you were that drunk,

if something bad happened.

No. I was drinking with my boss from the restaurant

and we just ended up drinking a bit too much.

As long as nothing's wrong.

I heard you were swinging singing Heidi, Girl of the Alps.

It's not a song I normally sing.

Oh, and that you were screaming,

"I don't fear the end of the world as we know it!"

"End of the world."

I see Haruto relays this to you two in quite detail.

If you felt the need to apologize, you must remember what happened then.

Yes. I remember quite well this time.

I'm also quite aware that I voiced things I probably shouldn't have voiced.

Oh, yeah! Haruto is Macbeth Number One, right?

Which one of us is Number Two?

I have no idea why I said that.

-There's no way you're Number Two. -Why?

If we're going by who joined when, I'm Two, you're Three.

Oh, I know! It could be in the order of who's the funniest.

In which case, Haruto would be Number Three.

At the very least, not Number One.

So he is here!

-No. -No.

-We have a pet. Tenny-B! Tenny-B! -What?

Tenny-B! Oh, there.

-There you are. -Are you okay?

Good morning.

Tsumugi is steadily preparing for her new life.

As for me,

despite reminding myself that

I need to get out of this lukewarm routine I'm in,

I don't take any action.

Ms. Nakahama,

did you turn down that full-time position?

Did the boss say something?

All I heard was that you two had a good time drinking together.

The day before yesterday, after I turned down the full-time position,

I was going to confide in her about what's been on my mind. But…

…hiding in the corner of the container,

when the lighter was pointed in my direction.

Who do you think it was?

I don't know.

It was Carlos.

What?

-The one from the pyramid fight? -That's right.

Not only were the ups and downs of the stories my boss was telling me

far more interesting, but she was also a heavy drinker.

Before I knew it, I was completely plastered,

without having had the chance to discuss what I wanted to.

Do you think Ms. Nakahama is okay?

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

Are you worried about her that much?

I mean, she's quite traumatized.

The only thing we can do

is point out the options she has…

Ron!

1,000 points.

…in our own ways.

Can I stop soon?

Yes. I definitely got how good you are.

There we go.

If you beat my record,

I'll buy you whatever you want as a housewarming gift.

I don't stand a chance.

I didn't try too hard.

I've never played this game before.

Is your company

ever looking for new employees?

-Employees? -Yes.

No way.

We don't have the capacity for that.

I've always thought this, but

I'm surprised you like having a canned coffee with a rice ball.

They don't go together, but I drink it because it's what's leftover.

That's what life's about, isn't it?

Yes, I don't quite get it.

Thank you very much.

-Boss. -What?

Do you have time this evening?

I don't have plans. Something the matter?

Actually, I've been so curious about hearing the rest of Carlos's story.

Did I tell you about the jungle map that was taken away?

By the giant vulture, right?

Isn't this sofa great?

-Oh, yeah. It's soft. -Right?

Should I get the black or the orange?

I think you should decide that.

Which one do you like?

Which one do you like, Tsumugi?

I'm conflicted which is why I'm asking you.

I mean, you'll be sitting on it when you come to hang out.

You're going to invite me over?

Obviously!

-You don't want to come? -That's not it.

Just tell me.

Am I not allowed to get your opinion?

I'm just asking because I'm conflicted.

It's just, if you get what I like

and it doesn't suit your place,

I'd feel responsible.

I thought you saw me as your little sister.

Am I wrong?

No, you're right.

Then is asking for my "brother's" opinion have to be such a big deal?

-Forget it. -What?

Where are you going? Hey.

-I'll take this away. -Thank you.

Thank you so much for the other day.

Oh, not at all. Thank you for such a wonderful time.

Natsumi's friend,

right?

My friend from university works at a recruitment firm

and he asked me to let him know if I knew anyone looking for a job.

We really owe you for the other day,

so we wanted to help however we could.

You really are thick-headed.

It's obvious to everyone that she likes you.

You could've told me then!

It's so obvious, there's nothing to tell.

I mean, she said,

"He really is like an older brother."

That was to disguise her feelings for you.

When she said she wasn't holding out hope for a surprise,

-that was also a lie. -What?

What? Come on…

That's too difficult for me.

Do you really think a woman

would make homemade meat sauce for someone they didn't have feelings for?

It's not like she's that bored.

You already know this about me,

but I have an inordinate fondness for older women.

It's not the actual age that's important, but rather their mental age.

Tsumugi definitely has five years on you. So don't worry.

But you'll be upset if I try it with one of your employees.

You're an exception, Shunta.

Why?

I made a promise to your mom at the funeral.

That I'll take responsibility and look after you.

Well, that's the first I'm hearing of that.

Why sasakama?

Why? Because sasakama is delicious.

It is.

But I feel taken aback receiving this as an apology gift.

No, it feels sincere to me.

Maybe it's because it's not firm.

-Firmness? -Yes, like, a senbei

or a cookie feels more apologetic.

I think the softness makes it feel apologetic.

I'm terribly sorry.

This makes me really want a beer.

I was thinking about introducing Ms. Nakahama to one of Natsumi's friends.

A friend?

Apparently, he works at a recruitment firm.

I guess, as an intermediary

between people who want a new job and companies looking for resources.

So did Ms. Nakahama agree to meet him?

No. She said she wanted to think about it.

This is so good.

Why don't you give it a try too?

A try for what?

I have nothing to add to my resume since I graduated high school.

You can say, "For the past ten years,

I've been a part of the comedic group, Macbeth,

as a member of the Paso Libre agency."

Just write it with confidence.

Which company's HR representative is going to look at that and say, "Hell, yes!"

You don't know unless you try.

-It might be the perfect judge! -Shut up.

Shut up, you.

I don't know if it's because you decided to take over your family's shop,

but don't have an air about you like you're superior.

What superior air are you talking about?

All that air! Shut up!

Hey! Stop sticking your nose in other people's lives.

The wind was incredibly strong that day.

Carlos's pace had drastically dropped due to his injured foot.

For the first time

since we started traveling together, I walked in front of Carlos.

I walked with the intention

of giving back to Carlos everything he had done for me up until that point.

The moment we got out of the jungle with nothing but the moon as our guide,

Carlos said, with tears in his eyes,

I'm not sure how genuine it was,

but Haruto started asking someone like me for help.

Give me some job-hunting advice,

Teacher Rihoko.

When living was too hard for me,

it was Haruto's sketches that exuded warmth

and acted as my support.

Perhaps it's my turn to help Haruto.

Teacher Rihoko.

One, three…

Do you think I'll get anything for it?

It has a relatively large scratch

and it's got quite the mileage on it.

I guess you're right.

There are a lot of places that specify, "25 years old or younger."

You're about to turn 26.

I want a barbecue for my birthday.

Don't you realize how much of a value it is to be young?

You're still just 28.

That three-year difference is significant.

I'm good for now.

Why?

I couldn't like a company that judges people on their age, anyway.

We're not the ones that get to decide anyway. It's them.

Are you listening?

It's okay. I'll do it. You sit.

What's going on with you?

Just because you helped out while I was in the hospital,

you feel like you're the successor?

That's not my intention.

Just when Mr. Mitsuhiro said he'd take over, you had to stick your nose in.

Yumiko told me,

but I heard there's someone you're thinking of marrying.

I'll introduce you to her soon.

Who said we wanted to meet her?

I won't let you take over the shop

if you're just going to use it as an opportunity to get married.

What?

Who said that?

Then show me you're serious.

Show me that this isn't all for show.

Whether you'll take over or not

will be discussed after.

-Whoa. -Whoa.

HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

HA! I SET A RECORD THAT YOU'LL NEVER BEAT.

I WANT

"I want…"

I WANT SIX KISSES.

What?

"I want six kisses?"

Oh,

I get it.

"I like the black too."

Is that so?

What?

One way will take four and a half hours?

Doesn't it feel like fate?

Because the first regional show I was a part of

was in this department store, right?

And our last regional show is also going to be here, right?

It's the same place. Isn't that amazing?

It's not that amazing.

When we performed with Macallan, right?

Yes. I saw Chiba from Macallan today.

Why?

-He works at a used car dealership, right? -Yes.

I'm thinking about selling the car after this show.

What?

Why?

I mean, I've been using it for ten years now.

The maintenance costs aren't insignificant.

Seriously?

Then why don't we sleep over in the car, instead of making it a day trip?

But you have work the next day, right?

I can do something about that.

The pain I feel in my body after sleeping in that car is awful.

Well, we can decide that with our usual, rock, paper, scissors.

-There it is! -The back is pretty comfy.

Come on. Knowing that it's the last time we'll feel that pain,

doesn't it make it sentimental?

Then you can sleep in the driver's seat.

No, that's not fair. Let's decide that with rock, paper, scissors.

Was Chiba doing well?

He was.

But he said he hasn't seen Umeki once

since they disbanded three years ago.

That's the nature of comedy duos.

Umeki did mention he had a kid on the way.

The guys from Macallan

were in the same comedy training school,

but we're originally high school classmates.

I barely had any tuna!

Even when we disband in one month,

I wonder if we'll still have this relationship.

MINI COMEDY LIVE

MACBETH

I'm freezing!

After yesterday's hurricane, there's not a single thing we can use as firewood.

"Sauna Bath."

"Steaming the body with steam, something commonly found in Finland."

Enough with that!

Reading about that isn't going to warm us up.

Just close your eyes and use your imagination.

I'm starved. I don't have the capacity for that.

Mapo tofu!

"A Chinese dish consisting of tofu fried in mustard miso."

Do you want me to kill you?

-Stop! -You!

-Just calm down once. -You little bastard!

Here. Come in. It's fine.

-Here? -Satomix left already.

We're the only ones here.

-Come in. -Come here. Come!

Great work today.

-Sorry to make you come from so far away. -Not at all.

Hey, Junpei. Come here.

What? What is it?

Apparently, the low-malt beer in the nearby supermarket is 59 yen.

What?

We'll go buy some, so we'll leave the rest to you.

What? Hey! Where are you going?

Hey! What's going on?

Oh,

please have a seat wherever.

-Okay. -Please.

About the other day--

Don't worry about it. I'm not. Do you want tea?

Sure, I'll have some.

Thank you very much.

I was looking through the dictionary randomly

and I stumbled upon the phrase "heavy drinking."

What phrase do you think came before that?

Heavy… G…

"Force majeure."

It says right in the dictionary

that people cannot be held accountable in the face of a heavy drinker.

Isn't that funny?

You're still mad, aren't you?

I'm not mad.

Then what other reason is there for you to look up "heavy drinking"?

I didn't look it up. I just stumbled upon it.

Does that happen?

How were we today?

Funnier than ever.

Is that so?

When I see the three of you perform, regionally,

you seem to have so much fun,

which makes it that much better for the viewer.

That was our last regional show.

Yes.

That's why I decided to come today.

Junpei told me this,

but are you going to meet with a recruitment firm?

I haven't properly responded yet.

But I am thinking about meeting him.

Honestly, I'm filled with uncertainty…

and I'm scared.

Because of what happened at your previous job?

Yes.

I'm worried that I'm going to have

a painful experience like that again.

I'm terrified,

but…

I decided to move forward.

You're headed home, right?

Yes. Oh, I better get going.

-I'll take you to the station. -No, it's okay.

You're not interested in seeing the very car

that supported all of Macbeth's regional shows?

Another present?

Is it sasakama again?

No, it's not sasakama this time.

It's kawara senbei.

Oh, those are so good!

Here. A firm snack.

-Let's give it a try. -Please.

Why did you pick kawara senbei?

I'm sure there's no reason.

Actually, there is.

It represents my unwavering support until the end.

"Kawara" to represent "kawarazu".

That joke kind of bombed.

You think? I think it's funny.

-Charging complete! -Steamed buns! Oolong tea!

Rock, paper, scissors!

Fuck!

My choices are faultless.

Rock, paper, scissors!

-Critical choice! -Dumpling wrappers!

Seriously?

That's so lame.

-As usual, your lame charm. -Lame.

I can't believe I get the driver's seat for the last time. No.

-Critically lame! -Critically lame!

Until when will we keep our apartment?

What?

Are you two going to move out?

I just wanted to talk about leading up to our last show.

Obviously,

I'll try my best

to make it a good show.

But the truth is

I also have to give it my all at my parents' shop.

Of course.

Your dad just got out of the hospital, right?

So…

I think I'll be spending more nights at my parents' house too.

Which, basically means, you're moving.

Idiot.

At least let me stay until the end.

I'll try my best to come back to our apartment.

Anyway,

that's the situation.

Don't worry about it.

-Nothing we can do about it. -Yes.

One less person to talk to, though.

Sorry.

-Whoa! What? -Hey!

-Hey! What? -What is it?

No, it's just, I've never honked the horn in this car before,

so I wondered what it sounded like.

-I scared myself too, though. -What the hell!

Don't scare me like that, man.

Oh! Wait!

Oh, fuck! I forgot to bring it!

-What? -What?

Earplugs. This guy's snoring is so loud.

It's not me!

-It's Shunta! -It's not me.

I'm already known for not snoring.

He talks in his sleep instead.

-Oh, yeah! -What?

One time he said some outlandish things in his sleep.

-The tempura course, right? -Yes!

-What's that? -"Tempura course…"

What?

What's that?

I love how you said "tempura course" instead of "set."

You're just making it up. Fluffing it up.

-No. -No. This is for real.

I could never make up "tempura course."

We both just happened to be awake.

That's right. We had a whole conversation with you when you were asleep.

Seriously? What did we talk about?

Basically…

we asked you, "How many people for the tempura course"?

You said, "For three."

Seriously? Did I really do that? You're lying!

That's the thing…

-It's true. -Really?

-It was impressive. -It really was.

Even when you're asleep, you still make sure to order for us.

I mean, I don't know if those three people were us.

Obviously, it's us.

So you do remember!

No, I'm just saying if I had.

But I don't remember it.

That's bad, man.

-My stomach hurts. -That's crazy.

At that moment I had decided that

when I buy a new car in the future, I'd invite them to a car sleepover.

I'd like to show you a few companies

that I think might be a match for you, based on what I've heard from Natsumi.

Yes, please.

Hey, Mr. Urazoe. You seem stiff.

Why don't we chit-chat a bit before getting to the topic at hand?

Maybe that's better.

-Sorry. -Not at all.

We all

seem a bit nervous.

I think you're right.

What gives?

What?

You're both so quiet.

Good evening.

Oh, good evening.

You already exchanged those greetings.

How'd you find it?

It was really easy to understand

and I could tell

he really had a trusting relationship with the HR representatives

from each company.

I'm glad.

But don't feel like you have to give it serious consideration

just because I introduced you.

Thank you very much.

In fact,

if you do land an interview with any of these companies,

don't feel like you have to take it if they want you.

I know you're the type of person to feel a sense of responsibility,

so I'm sure you'll be doing a lot of thinking.

But I think it's okay

for you to feel like you're the one making the selection.

If you don't feel like it's a fit,

even if they hire you,

you can say no.

Honestly, I'm not so good at saying things like that.

But don't worry.

That's exactly why we have Mr. Urazoe.

And if you don't feel comfortable telling him, just tell me.

It's the same as house-hunting.

If you don't feel like it's a match after you view it, you'd say no, right?

The same goes for cars. After you test drive it,

if it doesn't feel right, I think you'd say no.

Let's take it easy.

Actually,

there's one company that he introduced today

that I'm curious about.

-Really? -Yes.

There were some things that I thought sounded great.

Did you get it right away?

"I want six kisses?"

Yes.

I memorized it.

If you read it backwards, it says,

"I like the black too," right?

Yes.

I didn't get it right away,

and I thought it said, "I want six kisses."

I was like, "That's sexual!"

You wouldn't want a girl like that.

That was awful.

Wait, which one…

That was awful.

Everyone's lives

were slowly

starting.

-Boss. -Yes?

Starting next week,

could you schedule me a bit less?

Okay.

For the days that Macbeth comes, I'll get someone else--

Don't change those ones.

Could you adjust the other days?

I know. I'm just kidding.

-Don't work too hard! -Hey, long time!

-Hey! -Hold it!

All three of you together?

They said they wanted to tag along.

It's been a while and I wanted to see your excellency's face.

You haven't changed at all.

Look who's talking.

You really haven't though.

You guys haven't either!

-Thank you. -No worries.

Here's some tea.

How's work?

Yes, it's going.

Do you see any of your old comedian friends?

Not at all.

It's been three years since we disbanded,

but I'm not completely over it.

I feel like I haven't given the stage my all yet.

Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm not supposed to be here.

But don't worry.

So far, I've never once regretted being a comedian.

So far, okay?

I like this one better.

Don't you think it's a bit much?

It suits you.

-I'll get it. -Thanks.

Are you the one that's going to be washing it?

Obviously.

We rarely get customers who bring it in this dirty though.

Then could we wash it?

Yes, let's! Right?

Okay. That'd be a huge help.

You guys have never agreed to wash it before, no matter how many times I asked.

Now. Just for the last time.

I don't want to give our precious superior any trouble.

Come on!

Can this even be sold?

Some people have a strange obsession with cars like this.

Oh, is that so?

Hey! Don't underestimate this car.

-I'm not underestimating it. -Your hands!

I'll get it assessed.

Oh, shit! Assessed?

Your hair's quite damaged.

I haven't done this in a while.

It took us to a lot of places.

Yes.

Since our third year in high school.

Yes. It was even present when Mr. Makabe had his first child.

It wasn't present, but it did drive us there.

And it was Mr. Makabe's wife who gave birth.

Present makes it sound like the entire car was in the hospital.

Have you ever seen a nurse bring a whole car into a hospital room?

I get it already. Whenever you two get going, it's so annoying.

It's because you give us an opening.

What's your favorite memory with this car?

What? There are so many.

Okay, then, let's limit it to since the three of us became Macbeth.

-I already have my favorite. -What is it?

Running out of gas in the middle of the mountains in Gunma.

Oh, yeah!

That one was your fault.

-It's not my fault. -No.

The map had a gas station symbol.

In the end, we had to walk like 10km, right?

That's right.

The disappointment when I thought I saw a gas station,

but it was a convenience store.

The funniest bit was when

Junpei was praying, "Please! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come! Come…"

and it started echoing in the mountains.

When we finally found a station,

-he started crying. -I wasn't crying!

-I wasn't crying. -You were.

Mine actually might be

the Hoto store in Yamanashi.

-Oh, the unnecessarily large parking lot. -Right.

I'm not surprised. I thought one of you would say that.

Isn't that the one time Haruto and I got into that grappling fight?

That's right. It's usually Junpei and me.

The best part was when Haruto thought he flung you,

but he did it too hard and you ended up on top.

I was so confused why I was on the bottom. Like, "How?"

I was thinking the same thing when I was on top.

We were in a fight,

so I was like, "You bastard!" But then I couldn't hold my laugh any longer.

There was no stopping that fight.

That was a masterpiece.

It was perfect.

-Perfect? -It was perfect.

-What about you, Shunta? -Well, I think mine actually might be

-Fukuoka, one month ago. -Minechan, right?

The car still kind of smells like pork.

Yes, that's because Junpei spilled the cup noodles.

That was years ago.

It's only been a month

since we went to Fukuoka?

No one said a single thing for the 18-hour drive there.

Even though Haruto kept trying to bring up the whole disbanding topic.

No, I wasn't.

You were definitely trying to bring it up.

We could tell.

We definitely could.

I was like,

"Oh, he's about to say something important."

So I was bracing myself. But you never said it!

Because I wasn't trying to say it.

I kept waiting for it. And then,

you finally said it after ramen, as if it was the moment you were waiting for.

Exactly. The expression on his face leading up to the moment he said it.

-That expression. -Yes, this one!

-Oh, he couldn't wait to say it. -If you're going to bring that up,

let's talk about you sobbing afterward.

In front of all those other customers.

I was a bit surprised at how suddenly his laughter turned to tears.

Are you emotionally okay? I'm worried.

You're going to tease me about that?

"Whenever you

have something important to say, you always do it after we eat ramen."

-You want me to make you cry? -Stop it!

Hey! We're taking the bus home.

-Hey! Stop it! -Like I care!

We're taking the bus home, man.

Stop it!

Is that so?

We're going to go home on the bus?

Yes, that's right.

I hope you'll pay for my taxi ride home.

Stop!

I can't breathe!

What is it?

Haruto?

It's just…

I'm realizing…

this is so much more than a car.

Now your emotional state is messed up.

Because…

this car

contains the entire history of Macbeth.

It took breaking up

to realize…

that this guy's actually the fourth member of Macbeth.

Damn.

I…

I never thought I'd be so emotional over a car.

Doesn't it feel like it's alive?

Maybe I'm just being weird.

As the owner…

I'm truly happy

that you think of my precious car

as the fourth member of Macbeth.

But isn't Mr. Kusunoki the fourth member of Macbeth?

Shit. I completely forgot about him.

I can't have you forgetting about me now.

But come on,

it's not like it's going to the scrap yard.

-You're right. -Yes.

Something Chiba said the other day.

"Someone who buys a used car

understands the beauty of the car."

I hope it finds a good owner.

Yes.

Yes.

Stop!

Hey! Stop making a rainbow.

-Joyful rain. -Stop!

Joyful rain.

-Please give me a moment. -Thank you.

THE WEAR AND TEAR GARAGE

280,000 YEN

RIHOKO NAKAHAMA

Nice to meet you.

My name is Rihoko Nakahama.

Please.

Excuse me.

There we go.

Now we'll finally be able to get off this island.

Do you really think we should go back?

What do you mean?

After living here, it's surprisingly comfortable.

And I wonder if I'd be happier having fun with you two here.

You've got a point.

I'm just starting to really understand you two.

While it does make me feel lonely,

the word that comes after "understand"

is "farewell."

After deeply understanding someone or something,

the time for farewell comes along.

Hurry up and throw that out!

That dictionary's heavy! Throw it out!

Oh, whoa! It broke!

What are you doing?

I'm terribly sorry.

I don't want them to be distracted.

You're horrible.

Don't you need to help her move?

My sister and I are in the midst of a cold war.

But, in actuality, I was the one who was saved.

Thank you for everything.

But what about the sister of a fan?

Wait! What? No way!

Subtitle translation by: Rachel Hillcoat