Original subtitles

You still on for the quiz tomorrow? I can't make it.

Jeremy and Judith are furious. Oh, I'm not surprised.

Your musical knowledge will be sorely missed.

When Patrick first said he was having a quiz,

I thought it'd be an evening thing.

It's only because Carol and Tom from the Beach Club are coming.

Carol and Tom Jardine? That's them.

Ooh, I replaced his exhaust once,

and it was exactly that - exhausting.

Let's just say, Jeremy and Judith have, erm,

a healthy sense of competition with them.

GLORIA CHUCKLES

So, Claudie came back, then? Yeah.

I don't know what's gone on, but...

SIGHS

..she seems quite distressed and closed up.

And she's nearly seven months pregnant.

That far?! Saff didn't even know.

Neither did Dom.

GASPS How is he?

I'm not sure.

Are you all right? Yeah.

I just make myself scarce now.

A little bit of breathing space is never a bad thing, eh?

Where's Charlie? Oh, it's her day off.

But we have a very important sale happening today.

Ooh, what on? Hang on.

This is a natural black pearl from Tahiti.

There's only one in 10,000 can be sourced

from the black-lipped pearl oyster, the Pinctada margaritifera.

Sounds like a pizza.

LAUGHS

Well, this little beauty has just been sold for 5,000 euros.

Happy days!

I sold it to my fantastic osteopath, Dr Stephan.

He totally got rid of my lower back pain,

so I've knocked a bit off.

Oh, here's the lucky fella now.

Hi, Dr Stephan. Hello, Jean. All still good?

Oh, very good. Yes.

And, er... I think this is what you're looking for.

Oh, it's more beautiful than I remember.

Thank you. SHE CHUCKLES

See, I'm a Tahitian, you see?

And in my culture, the black pearl symbolises everlasting love. Oh.

It's the perfect tenth anniversary gift for my wife.

Oh. She is a very lucky woman.

Well, I think I might be the lucky one.

I hope she really enjoys it. Thank you again.

Bye. Bye-bye. Bye.

WOMAN GASPS

WOMAN GROANS

# Do you remember the first time

# That my eyes set on you?

# Your smile came from nowhere

# For sometime never Or sometime soon

# The road is a long one

# I was only passing through

# I was only passing through. #

Has she told you what's going on yet? No.

All I know is she's six months pregnant

to a lad called Marco, and they've fallen out.

That's it.

And she's not told you anything else?

No. She just keeps saying it's complicated.

She needs a bit of space for a few days.

I have no idea what's going on.

I suppose you have to leave her to it. I'm sure she'll come round.

Hey, why don't we take her to the quiz with us?

Oh, that's not a bad idea. She'd know stuff we wouldn't know.

Yeah, exactly. FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Morning, love. Hey.

Nice to see you, Claudie. Yeah.

Thanks for letting me stay, Jean. Oh, no worries.

Oh, Claudie.

Erm, we're off to Uncle Patrick's pub quiz at lunchtime.

I don't suppose you fancy joining us?

You've not seen him for ages, have you? Er, nah.

I mean, I love Uncle Patrick, but I'm not really in the mood.

I'll probably just chill here.

OK, love.

You got any gherkins? Gherkins?

Yeah. Pickled, preferably.

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. PHONE RINGS

I think we've got a jar left unopened from Christmas somewhere.

I'll just get this. And some peanut butter?

Er... yeah.

You know, when your mam was pregnant with you,

she made me drive for miles to try and find some gherkins.

Really? Yeah. All I could find was those little bite-sized ones.

She went mad when I brought them back. Cornichons.

Bless you. No, that's what the tiny ones are called.

Yeah, I know, I was just doing a joke.

Er...

Do you want some coffee?

We've got some decaf somewhere. No, coffee makes me feel really sick.

I can't come to the pub quiz. Oh, what? No. Why?

There's been a body found on the beach. Caron needs my help.

Jeremy and Judith aren't gonna be happy to lose their lead oracle.

I'll get there as soon as I can.

Caron should really be paying you for all the help you give him.

He does... a bit.

Yeah. No, sorry, I didn't mean to snap.

I'm just a little bit on edge, you know, with...

Look, Claudie came home to you, didn't she?

Yeah? Well, you're exactly the help she needs.

And this is the place she wants to be.

Come here.

Oh.

So, you'll be needing a lift, then?

She's arrived. Picked her up from Glo last night.

And why didn't you say?

Well, I wanted you to meet Geraldine in the daylight.

I've just got to pop out for a bit, all right?

Yeah. Have you got any cookie dough ice cream?

No, no, but I can pick some up for you.

Large tub. Obvs, yeah.

Right, just try and relax. I'll see you later.

She's not the same. Shh! She can hear you.

I still miss Madeline. Of course you do.

I mean, it's gonna take some time to get used to, erm...

Geraldine. Geraldine.

There's something else you should know as well. What?

She doesn't sound the same either.

HORN BLEATS

Er, well, you don't really use your horn that often, do you?

I knew it. It sounds like a sheep, dunnit?

I'm pleading the Fifth.

Right.

Listen, sorry about Claudie earlier. Oh, you're all right.

I mean, her hormones must be all over the shop.

Mm. Speaking of which, did you see what she did with them gherkins?

Well, my mum used to eat fried egg and beetroot sandwiches

when she was pregnant with me.

Look how you turned out. Oi!

To be honest, she's never been my biggest fan, has she?

It's a good job I am, then, isn't it?

See you later. See you later.

Thank you for coming, Jean.

SOCO team are here. We are just waiting for forensics.

How can I help?

The deceased woman was wearing a very unusual necklace.

I mean, it may be costume jewellery,

but I wanted you to see it before we start our investigations.

OK.

Mind your step.

Now, this is the necklace.

Oh, my God.

That must be Dr Stephan's wife.

Who? Dr Stephan.

He's my osteopath.

He asked me to source this for a gift for his wife

on their wedding anniversary.

It's an extremely rare item to find.

Her library card says she's called Julietta Moncrief.

Well, he never mentioned her name.

But there is nothing with an address.

Right.

I'll get Charlie to send us the address that's on his invoice.

Very good. Caron...

..can I come with you when you tell him?

Are you sure? He's gonna be heartbroken.

Then I would appreciate the company.

THEY SPEAK FRENCH

Well, am I pleased to see you. Are you?

Ecstatic. Where's Jean?

Oh, she's on her way. Good.

It's handbags at dawn in there.

We need every bit of brainpower we can muster.

Right.

Brace yourself, Dominika. We're going in.

FAINT CHATTER

Afternoon, team. Hello, Dom.

Confident? JEREMY CHUCKLES

Oh, it's good you're joining us.

Hm? Sorry. Who are they?

Oh, that's Carol and Tom Jardine.

County quiz champions five years running. Blimey!

JUDITH: She's clearly had more work done.

I was just thinking the same about him.

BOTH CHUCKLE

I must give Judith the number of my surgeon.

I was just thinking the same about him.

Feeling match fit, Jezza? Never fitter, Tom!

Happy with your team, Judith?

Oh, we've got quite the secret weapon.

So have we. And he's sitting right next to me.

Come here, gorgeous! BOTH LAUGH

KNOCKS

Madame White. Is everything OK?

Doctor, erm, there's something we need to tell you. May we come in?

Of course.

So, how can I help?

This morning, there was a woman's body found on the beach...

..that we believe is your wife.

What? This can't be true.

My wife has been doing a night shift in the hospital.

Your wife is a doctor, too? No, pharmacist.

I know this is very difficult,

but we need you to come and identify the body.

She cannot be dead.

No. I refuse to believe it.

DOOR OPENS David?

Vienna?

IN FRENCH:

Why on earth did you put me through that?!

It was not without good reason.

Why did you think this person was my wife?!

Well, she was wearing the necklace I sold you yesterday!

What necklace? HE SIGHS

The necklace I bought you for our anniversary has gone. What?

It was a surprise. Oh, my darling.

Are there any signs of a break-in?

We never lock our doors. Well, the, er...

The only ID she had on her was this library card.

Never seen her before.

Nor me.

I am so, so sorry. I just assumed.

It was an easy mistake. I would have come to the same conclusion.

So, somebody stole the necklace from Dr Stephan's last night,

it ends up around a dead woman's neck on a remote part of the beach?

It would seem so.

Maybe someone saw him buy it and followed him back from the shop.

PHONE RINGS

I mean, I did have it on display for a week.

HE SPEAKS FRENCH

PHONE CHIMES

Tres bien. Nous sur le champ.

Julietta Moncrief's real address has been found.

She lives in Provence. Let's go.

Where's Jean? I thought you said she was on her way.

Yes, she is.

But she's a vital member of the team!

She knows bloody everything. She'd better hurry up.

Everything all right, Judith? You look a bit perturbed.

Oh, just some last-minute team bonding.

Nothing for you to worry about.

Let's hope some more of your team turn up, eh?

Quality over quantity, Carol.

Hey, that's what I'm always telling you, innit, Carol? Oh!

CAROL AND TOM LAUGH

So uncouth at their age. Quite.

RINGS BELL

Right. We're nearly ready to start.

But before we do, I want all the phones in that basket.

We won't have any cheating, so come on.

I want them all here, right where I can see them.

Good!

Welcome to the famous Saturday La Couronne pub quiz.

CHEERING

Where you'll all be competing for this amazing trophy.

ALL: Ooh!

So, first, let's have the team names. What have we got?

Well, I think everyone knows who we are.

We are the Sainte Victoire Sensations.

Oi, you can't have that. It's already taken!

Pardon?

You know fine and well that we are

Les Sensations de la Sainte Victoire.

But you're speaking Spanish. It's completely different.

How dare you?! Ladies, please, hm?

I'll tell you what we're gonna do.

We will have La Couronne quiz names. What?!

Well, you take the name of your first pet

and what you last ate and you put them together.

And, Judith...?

Twinkle Croissant. Very good. Carol?

Roxy Sausage. Not a word, Tom!

# Stop

# Take a minute to listen up

# Hey. #

KNOCKS

IN FRENCH:

Do you mind if we speak in English? Of course.

A body was found on the beach this morning,

which we believe to be your wife.

This is the identification that was found on her person.

Yes, that is my wife.

She... left me about a month ago...

..said she was seeing someone else.

I'm so sorry.

Do you know who she was seeing?

Someone she met through work. What did she do?

She was area sales manager for the drug Biconia.

Is that that new asthma drug? Yes.

Julietta had severe asthma.

That is why she was so good at selling it.

Do you have a recent photo I could take?

Merci.

May I ask where you were last night, Mr Moncrief?

I was out watching the rugby. Really?

Good game? Yes.

Verne scored the winning try in the last 30 seconds.

We will be back later with more questions.

Please do not leave the area. Why would I?

He is lying. What?!

He is clearly a Provence fan.

The beautiful original 1970 poster on the wall tells me that. And?

The Provence game was cancelled at the last minute last night

due to a power failure at the stadium,

so Verne could not have scored anything.

The only game that was played locally last night was RC Toulon,

and any real Provence fan would not be seen dead

in the Toulon Stadium,

unless it was to see Provence beat them.

I did not know you were such a rugby fan, Caron.

I do have a life, Jean.

Yes. Yes, of course you do. Yep.

Let's go back to the station and check his alibi against the CCTV.

I imagine he does not go very far without riding on the back of this.

Of these regional French foods,

which one of the following would be of interest to an oenologist?

That's O-E-N-O-L-O-G-I-S-T.

A, Camembert.

B, cassoulet.

Or C, claret.

Ooh, we know this, don't we, darling? We do indeed.

SNEEZES

WOMAN: Bless you.

Next round, art and history.

He's clearly a very angry man, judging by the look of this frame.

I agree.

Took me a while to get to the anger part.

Pardon? When I found out about Rory's affair.

Apparently, it's part of the healing process.

Shock, denial and bargaining coming first.

Et voila. I knew he was lying. Let's go.

Ooh! My goodness. You took me by surprise stood there.

I didn't want to disturb you.

Oh. Right. Well, thanks. SHE CHUCKLES

So, how can I help you?

Very organised, aren't you?

Tidy garage, tidy mind. Mm.

Claudie said you were very organised.

Pardon? Claudie Hayes. You know her, don't you?

Look, love, I'm very busy. Do you need a car fixing or not?

I said... you know her, don't you?

No. No, I don't.

You must be mistaken.

I know you know her.

And I need you to tell me where she is.

I think you'd better leave.

I'll be back.

Glorious Gloria.

PHONE CHIMES

CHATTER

'Hello. This is Dom's phone.

'I'm not here at the moment, so leave me...'

Mr Moncrief, you need to come with me to the station.

OK.

You are under suspicion of killing your wife last night.

This vehicle was found on CCTV near the scene of the crime.

Hang on, what? I just told you, I was at the rugby game.

You are lying. The Provence game was cancelled last night.

Provence? Why would I be at the Provence game?

The poster on your wall.

LAUGHS

I was at the RC Toulon game.

Hang on.

But you said Verne scored in the last 30 seconds.

Not Thomas Verne. Leon Verne.

The new 18-year-old sub at Toulon

that they put in the last five minutes.

His debut. You should have seen it.

You see, I wasn't the Provence fan in the house.

That would be my lying, cheating now-late wife.

If that's my bike on the CCTV, then that was me coming home.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get to work.

He's still our number one suspect until we verify his alibi.

Absolutely. Yeah. PHONE CHIMES

Jean.

Richard has forwarded Madame Moncrief's credit card statement.

There is a restaurant bill. It's part of a hotel.

And it's from last night. Let's go.

PATRICK: 'OK.'

Last question in art and history, and then we're on to '80s pop music.

Thank God for that.

In historical fashion, what was a farthingale?

A, a laced corset.

B, a hooped petticoat.

Or C, a short cloak. I know this.

CAROL SNEEZES

I think she's got a bloody phone in there.

Who? What? Carol.

That's the second time I've seen her sneeze,

reach into that awful handbag, and then scribble down the answer.

But, darling, we put our phones in the basket.

I'm telling you now, that woman is cheating.

HUSHED: Dom?!

You all right? No. No, I'm not.

What's wrong? I just met Marco.

What?!

He came to the garage looking for Claudie...

and sort of threatened me.

What do you mean, sort of threatened you?

Well, it wasn't what he said, but the way he said it.

He asked me if I knew her, and I said no.

It just seemed like the right thing to do.

Yeah, yeah, you did exactly the right thing, Glo.

Just wait there.

Hey, Dom, all the phones stay in the basket, please.

Sorry, I gotta go.

Go? Yeah, I'll tell you later. Come on.

Just the two of us now, then, darling.

Oh, my God.

She's meeting up with him. What?!

Somewhere public, she says. We gotta find her.

Right. You take Geraldine. I'll take Electric Lady Van.

Right, OK. Dom... look at me.

We'll find her. I promise.

OK, yeah. Maintain radio contact.

You had me so worried, babe. I'm sorry, I just panicked.

Can you imagine how I felt when I thought you'd just gone?

I didn't think. I just wanted to... "I"?!

It's not just about you any more, Claudie.

It's about us. Three of us.

I know. I just lost control when I read your emails to her.

You read my emails? I'm so sorry.

You left your laptop open, and I was getting paranoid

that you were still seeing her, so I thought...

Read my private emails?

How am I supposed to trust you again?

You said that you would stop seeing her after I got pregnant.

HE THUMPS TABLE

We bumped into each other.

It was a complete accident. There was no intent at all.

Shouldn't question me, Claudie. I know. I'm sorry.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Believe me, I am.

Please. I'm so sorry.

Oh...

I forgive you.

Shall we draw a line?

The three of us.

Right here, right now. Come home.

And we both promise to trust each other unconditionally.

Really?

Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

I love you, Claudie.

I love you too.

I love us three.

The hotel restaurant is this way. Caron, look.

Dr Stephan was here at the same time as Julietta Moncrief.

Mon Dieu. Do you think he actually knew her?

Let's see if any of the staff remember them.

IN FRENCH:

They were here together.

Can you say that again in English for my colleague, please?

I got the "free show" bit.

I was saying they had a huge argument.

It was like a free show.

The woman stormed off,

making a huge deal about paying the bill.

Au revoir.

Dom?

'Yes, Glo?' I've found her.

'She's in the cafe opposite the library, and he's with her.'

Right. Thanks a lot. On my way.

Be careful, love. 'Yeah, will do.'

Why are you traumatising my husband for a second time?

Dr Stephan will be interviewed

in connection with the death of Julietta Moncrief.

It is ridiculous. You have no proof.

It's OK, darling. They can't do this.

We'll be home before you know it, I promise.

Er, they're gonna be some time, you know.

I'm going nowhere. OK.

We have a witness and evidence that you and Julietta Moncrief

were dining at the hotel restaurant the night she was murdered.

Which means that you were one of the last people to see her alive.

No comment.

I don't think you bought that necklace for your wife,

did you, Dr Stephan?

No comment.

I think you bought it for your mistress.

No. I swear I bought it for Vienna.

How it ended up around Julietta's neck is beyond me.

And you expect us to believe that?

What were you fighting about in the restaurant?

Look...

OK, I liked Julietta.

But she was just a fling.

I did not know she left her husband for me.

And that is what the argument was about.

Well, I think you bought Julietta that necklace

as a symbol of your everlasting love.

You told me in the shop...

that's what it represents in Tahitian culture.

No. It doesn't mean that?

Yes, it does, but...

..no, I did not care about Julietta in that way.

So why would you buy a 5,000-euro necklace

for someone you don't care about?

Why are you not hearing me?

It was for my wife. You are wrong.

I already told you Julietta was just a fling.

She meant nothing to me.

Did you promise her you would leave your wife?

Was that what the argument was about?

No! For the final time...

..I did not gift her the necklace.

I do not know why she was wearing it.

I did not give it to her.

Oh, I'll just let my dad know. I have to get my stuff.

No, no. No, no, you don't. You're coming with me now.

Marco, I need my stuff. My dad will be worried.

SHE EXCLAIMS

HE GRUNTS, CHOKES

Luckily for you, I'm not a violent man.

Because if I was, I'd break every single bone in your body.

Now, if you ever touch my daughter again, I will hunt you down.

Do you understand? Do you understand?!

HE LAUGHS

HE GRUNTS

Dad! Please.

No more.

HE GROANS

And now the final question of the quiz.

In 1981, which one-hit wonder

kept Ultravox's Vienna from hitting the number one spot?

I know this!

SHE SNEEZES

Right, everyone, pass your answer sheets clockwise

round the room, and we'll start marking.

Oh, excuse me. How is he?

Your husband needed a little time to calm down.

We are going to continue our interview now.

God, I blame myself.

What for?

My work. It takes up too much of my time.

I... didn't give him the attention he needed.

That's why he had an affair.

Now, that's not your fault.

Isn't it?

We're gonna be quite a while in there.

Why don't you get yourself a coffee, and I'll call you when we're done?

No, I want to wait here. I'm not leaving.

Well, why don't we get you a coffee, then?

Oh, thank you. Sorry, I don't know your name.

It's Jean White.

Could you get Madame Stephan a coffee, please?

It's the toxicology report.

I thought I would run one just in case.

The gash on Madame Moncrief's head injury

just did not appear fatal to me.

Well, this is interesting.

Apparently, there was a strong trace of morphine in her system.

Morphine? Hm.

Well, that would be near fatal to a chronic asthmatic if not controlled.

How do you know that?

Well, they gave my mum the wrong dose of morphine

when she was very ill.

The nurse had not read her notes properly,

and it was touch and go for a bit.

So Dr Stephan decided to...

silence her with morphine before pushing her down the steps?

Isn't that a bit calculated?

The waitress in the hotel,

well, she said the argument was quite spontaneous.

OK, so... what are you thinking?

It would be really hard for an osteopath to get hold of morphine.

I remember from my mum, even if you're a doctor,

you have to have a precise prescription.

You have to go to a very specific pharmacy,

you know, like... like a hospital, or...

Vite!

Well, it was a close call, but the winner is...

..The Roxy Sausages!

CHEERING

You can all take your phones back now.

LAUGHING

There you go, darling. Never mind.

PHONE BUZZES

Subterfuge! What?

Was that in your bag the whole time?

How did that get in there? No, please, allow me.

I saw her. Every time she didn't know an answer,

she pretended to search for something in that bag.

She's had it on ChatGPT.

It's been listening all along.

Every answer is in here.

I think we should calm down. It's only a pub quiz.

And I thought we were friends.

You've never forgiven us for living in a big chateau.

Now, hang on a minute.

I have never been so insulted in my life.

I think you'll find that we all feel exactly the same.

Come on, Tom, we're leaving!

Sorry, old chap.

Out of interest, Patrick, who came second?

You did, Judith.

MURMURS OF ADMIRATION Thank you. I thought so.

Bravo, darling.

How did you first meet Julietta Moncrief?

She came to sell me her drugs.

She knew I was his wife.

I knew he'd been sleeping with her for over six months. I knew.

Enough time to make a plan.

When I knew she'd be at the conference...

it all became possible.

I, er...

I stole some morphine and followed her.

'I knew the morphine would make her very ill.

'Ill enough to stay away from my husband for at least a week.'

I honestly did not mean to kill her.

Just make her ill.

'Then... she fell down some steps.

'I thought she must be dead.'

I... I did panic.

But then I had this stupid idea.

Something to get them both back.

Oh, God.

'It was dark.

'There was no-one around.

'I sped home and grabbed the necklace.'

So you knew your husband had bought you the necklace?

Yes, of course.

Like... My husband could not keep any secrets, like I said.

I knew he'd been sleeping with her for six months.

He probably bought it out of guilt.

'I put that beautiful necklace around her neck.

'She was gone, and he would get the blame.'

The six months of pain, knowing that the love of my life...

..was sleeping with another woman.

It broke my heart.

SHE SNIFFLES

SHE SOBS

INDISTINCT ARGUING

He sounds delightful. I'm glad I've never met him.

Honestly, Jean, if Claudie hadn't come round that corner...

Well, I hate to think what might have happened.

Well, I'm very glad she did.

I just can't believe she chose someone like that

to be the father of her child.

Maybe he wasn't like that when she first met him.

I mean, people change.

Surely the fact that he's an absolute psycho

would've been evident from the start.

Not necessarily. Like I said, people change.

He probably started out being everything she wanted him to be.

Yeah, maybe.

Is she all right? She's proper shaken.

Yeah, course she is.

Well, she's got you.

She's got me. Thanks, Jean.

Thing is...

..not gonna go away, is it? What?

Well, the situation.

Him.

He's the father of my grandchild. That connects us forever.

We'll just have to find a way through it.

Yeah.

Just to be clear...

So, Claudie is moving in with us?

Yeah. Well, I suppose so. Just for the time being.

I mean, that's all right, isn't it? For a bit?

Yeah, it's totally fine. We've got loads of room.

I mean, I'll find somewhere for her and the baby as soon as I can.

But in the meantime, I just need to be with her as much as possible.

Oh, of course, I completely understand.

Thanks.

It's not gonna affect the wedding, is it?

Don't be daft. Of course it's not gonna affect the wedding.

Come here.

HE TUTS Ohhh!

Right. Well, I don't know about you, but I'm absolutely starved.

# Do you remember the first time

# That my eyes set on you?

# Your smile came from nowhere

# For sometime never

# Or sometime soon

# The road is a long one

# I was only passing through. #

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