Original subtitles

It's kind of cold in here.

Yeah, well, what's been going on?

Well, first of all, thanks for taking me on such short notice, you know.

Of course, you're my best friend.

Anyways, um, wow, I don't really know how to say this to begin.

Uh, so, I'm kind of, I think I told you a little bit over the phone,

I'm kind of having troubles down there.

Okay, what's been going on?

Um, so, it all began like a week ago, right?

My girlfriend, you know Cindy, right?

Yes.

She actually got like a procedure done.

What kind of procedure?

A Brazilian butt lift.

Okay.

Right.

So, um, just kind of like two nights ago.

Mm-hmm.

We were having, you know, intercourse, right?

Mm-hmm.

And, you know, I'm not, I'm just not used to her new body.

So, maybe, gosh, I don't know how to say this.

Like, she, we were having sex and like, like doggy style.

Okay.

And, uh.

What did you do?

Like, I wasn't, uh,

I wasn't all the way hard.

So, she was just throwing it back at me.

And she threw it back and I wasn't all the way hard.

So, I went, uh, and it just kind of like, like, backed up on me, you know?

Uh-huh.

So, I went, yeah.

I got it.

Okay.

So, basically, oh, my God, I'm so fucking embarrassed.

Uh.

Don't be embarrassed, okay?

I don't know.

I just can't.

I don't know if it'll work anymore.

Like, I, I, I don't know.

It's like, it's hurting and stuff.

And, like.

Okay.

I can't even, I don't, I don't know.

It's, you're the only person I, I knew I could talk to about this, you know?

I don't know.

I'm just so, so embarrassed right now.

No, don't be.

Like, telling you all this.

Don't be.

It does sound like you tore your penis out, Virginia.

Oh.

In other words, like, tore your penis, broke your penis.

Broke my penis?

Oh, my God.

Fuck.

It's fine, though.

It's fine.

It's, don't go to super conclusions yet, but you may need a small surgical repair,

but.

Surgical repair?

Yeah.

But.

It'll never be the same.

First things first.

Are you swollen?

Any redness?

Swelling?

Bruising?

If there's any bruising, that's where we need to be a little concerned.

I mean, there's like a little discoloration, but.

Okay.

Well, if it was really bad, it would be super, super, super black and blue.

I mean, I looked up the, like, pictures online, but I don't know, like, those, it's like extreme

case for you.

Are they looking on the internet?

Yeah.

That's.

Okay.

So.

That was problem number one.

I think, I think I did, I do have something.

All right.

Pull your pants down.

Let's see.

Huh?

Yeah?

Yeah.

I've seen your brother.

I've treated your father.

Remember, your dad has a little bump.

Fine.

Let's see.

I don't remember, but.

I'm a professional.

It's fine.

Pants down.

What are you doing?

Stand up, Johnny.

Okay.

Hello.

Up the daisies.

Let me see.

Okay.

What are you doing?

Gee, I don't, I don't know about this.

I mean, maybe I should meet, see you in your office or something, and we could do it that

way.

Okay.

Yeah, sure.

Hold off.

Wait till it falls off.

Come on.

Move your hands.

Okay.

Where does it hurt?

Basically, like.

You're there a little bit.

All right.

Well, your balls look okay.

Cool.

You know.

Your cough is very familiar to your father.

Oh.

Yeah.

I'm just kidding.

Anyway.

Not really.

Um.

Uh.

Any pain?

Um.

Not.

Let me.

Uh.

Maybe not.

Oh, hot shit.

Did you take anything?

Did you take.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I took.

I went to the gas station, like you said, and I took, took one of the pills, like,

to get hard.

Yeah.

You took a gas station pill?

Oh, yeah.

That's real good.

That's real good.

You told me to get something.

I wrote you a prescription.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, my goodness.

Okay.

Well.

It doesn't look broken.

But.

Thank God.

In order for 100% health, I need to see you have an erection.

Uh.

Like.

Right now?

I mean.

Well, yeah.

You took the pill.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Uh.

You gotta get a heart for me.

Okay.

Yeah.

Uh.

I, I could do that.

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Do you have, like, a magazine or something I could borrow?

Maybe.

Oh, my God.

Come on, Johnny.

You know what?

Just give it, like.

You're right.

Are you.

Four strokes and it'll get hard.

Okay.

What the hell are you doing?

Is that, is that how you jerk off?

Yeah.

What?

Wow.

Sorry.

Okay.

That's not how you do it.

But.

No.

Give me a second.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

No.

No more.

Huh?

Holy crap.

You think I'm doomed?

Did you just ask me if you were doing it wrong?

Yeah.

You're doing it wrong.

Hey.

Okay.

You're.

You're the one that knows best.

So crazy.

I mean.

You're my best friend's mom.

It does.

You kind of.

You look like your brother now.

What?

Nothing.

Okay.

Focus.

Right.

Does that hurt?

No.

It actually feels like it's working.

Okay.

Can you relax a little bit?

Thank you.

Yeah.

I would advise not to use those gas pills anymore.

Okay.

Hold on.

I think I'm starting to feel fine.

There you go.

See?

You're getting harder.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

I feel like I'm going to break.

Uh huh.

Oh.

I'm so sorry.

Uh huh.

Okay.

Well you passed this test.

Uh huh.

Now.

Time to pass.

A test.

See what I mean.

Huh?

Oh.

Whoa whoa.

Hold on.

Where are you going?

What are you doing right now?

Uh.

I think I should go home.

You know.

Yeah.

This is how we do it.

What?

Make sure it's not broken.

Come back.

I think you like it.

Do you have a feeling in there?

What about here?

I feel that.

Good, it's not broken.

Oh, good.

Oh, it's gone.

Mmm.

Yeah.

Can I keep those?

I think I can stick my head like that.

Mmm.

It's sloppy.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

I can't believe my

best friend's mom keeps giving me

sloppy talky right now.

That's what your brother said.

What?

Oh.

Oh.

Good, your agility's good.

And Dave Hart will

see it coming.

Definitely not broken.

What are you doing?

Don't do that.

Don't.

What are you doing?

Okay.

Stop that.

I don't need

a blowjob instruction, do you?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

How about you?

Really good.

Uh-huh.

How about that?

Mmm.

You good?

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Mmm.

Oh.

I think you're making me pre-cum.

No, not pre-cumming

at all.

It's good that you have that sensation.

I'm not killing you, John.

You relax.

It feels good.

It's really good, isn't it?

I gotta relax.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Imagine like I'm murdering you.

Does it hurt?

No.

It doesn't hurt?

It feels good.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Okay.

I think you're okay.

Yeah.

But we're gonna have to

touch more than that.

Okay.

I'm gonna need you to stand up.

This way.

Oh.

No.

Bend over a little bit.

Thank you.

Oh.

Did it feel hard?

Give me a little bit.

Give me that butt.

Thank you.

Oh.

Fuck.

Oh my god.

That feels good.

Shit.

Oh.

I think you're good.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh my god.

Oh yeah, I do.

Oh fuck.

Look at how hard you got.

Is this what your girlfriend was doing?

Oh my god.

I don't know if it ever does that to me.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Sit.

I wanna give that a ride.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Let me see how you stroke that again.

Oh, thank god.

It's like you didn't know how to jerk off.

It's so fucking creepy.

You like those?

Yeah.

Okay.

Mm.

Mm.

Oh.

Keep stroking the top.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh fuck.

Yeah.

One.

Mm.

Oh.

Fucking nice and hard, right?

It is nice and hard.

Yeah.

Now that pill you took, how long is that pill going to last?

I don't know.

Do you?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

So you don't know what you took?

Uh-huh.

Or how long it took last?

Uh-uh.

And how long did you take the pill?

That's good, John.

Very good.

Do you like that?

Yeah.

Oh!

Oh my god!

Whoo!

Yes, now we're not acting.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ooh, I don't think you're going to have a problem with that anymore.

Ooh, good.

Oh, fuck.

Ooh, that's good.

That's good.

You feel good?

Yeah.

Can you feel it?

I feel it.

Yeah?

I feel that.

Uh-huh.

Good.

Uh-huh.

Oh, fuck.

Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ooh, that's good.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck it.

Fuck it.

Oh, my God.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

Uh-huh.

Ooh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Why?

Uh-huh.

Oh

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Come on.

Shh.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Right.

Uh-huh.

Get a knee.

Uh-huh.

Right there.

Uh-huh.

Right there.

Oh.

But I don't think I can talk to Josh.

No.

Okay.

What happened to Josh?

He's dead.

Uh-huh.

No.

Uh-huh.

Damn it.

They can't be afraid of it.

Johnny.

Huh?

Yeah.

So grippy.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, there you go.

Oh, fuck, this one deep.

Uh huh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Uh huh.

Uh.

Uh huh.

Uh.

Uh.

Uh.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Mm hm.

Oh.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh.

Fuck.

Oh.

Oh.

Uh huh.

Huh?

Fuck!

Oh! Chubby! Crazy!

Oh!

Fuck! Ew!

Fuck! Yeah!

That's not fucking good!

That's not fucking good!

Oh!

Oh my god!

Yeah!

Oh!

Oh my god!

Oh my god! Yeah!

Holy shit!

Huh?

Yes!

Yes!

Oh!

Oh! Fuck yeah!

Oh!

Oh!

Fuck yeah!

Oh! Fuck yeah!

Oh!

Oh!

That's not good!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh shit!

Okay!

Oh!

Yeah!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Fuck yeah!

Oh!

Oh! Fuck!

I like it!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Fuck yeah!

Mm-hmm!

Oh!

Oh!

Mm-hmm!

Just like that!

Oh!

Fuck yeah!

Oh!

Oh!

Uh-huh!

Uh-huh! Just like that!

Oh!

Mm-hmm!

Fuck yeah!

Oh! Yep!

Oh!

Just like that!

Oh!

Oh!

And we'll go do this again.

Uh-huh.

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Um-huh.

Oh, fuck it!

Mm...

Oh, yes.

Uh...

Oh, yeah, just like that.

Uh-huh.

Oh, fuck, yeah.

Just like that.

Go on, yeah.

Just like that.

Come on.

Come here.

Oh, yeah.

Uh-huh.

Oh, fuck.

Wait, wait.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, fuck, yeah, right there.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, fuck, yeah, I got it.

Fuck, yeah.

Oh.

Oh, yeah, just like that.

Oh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, me, me.

You are a good boy.

Yeah, that's a good boy.

Uh-huh.

Fuck, yeah.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Yeah.

Oh!

Oh!

Fuck yeah!

Get back up here.

Uh huh.

Oh yeah!

Oh!

Fuck yeah!

Oh!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Get back down.

Yeah.

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Yeah.

Okay.

Uh huh.

Oh fuck yeah!

Oh yeah!

Uh huh.

Get back up here.

Yeah.

Uh huh.

Yeah.

Oh no.

No.

Is she going?

What? What?

What do you want?

Oh!

Fuck!

Fuck!

No!

Oh fuck!

Oh

Oh

Ohhhh.

Good boy.

Oh my gosh.

Happy boy.

Oh, wow.

That's great news.

Okay, yeah.

Thank you so much.

I appreciate you looking at that for me.