Original subtitles

This is a car program.

There will be no cushions. There will be no rag-rolling.

No one will sing, and at the end of the series, no one will have a recording

contract.

This is our new base.

And this is our purpose-built test track.

There are no traffic jams here, well, apart from this one, and no bus lanes

either.

This is Top Gear.

And in the show tonight, I put two supercars head-to-head.

Jason Dore on what to do when car dealers attack.

Richard Hammond will try to beat a speed camera and a star in a reasonably

priced car.

Hello. Now, two...

family hatchbacks the ford focus and the volkswagen golf both have five doors

both have 1.6 liter engines and both cost around 12 000 pounds that's how

much family hatchbacks cost or do they you see on top gear we found one that

you can buy in britain no tricks brand new for less than 9 000 pounds this is

it it's the citroen blingo multi-space and i admit It's a curious-looking

thing. That's because it started out in life as a van. All they've done is add

some windows here, sliding doors, some snazzy seats where the cement used to

go, and hey, presto, garnish it with some metallic paint, some alloy wheels,

and you can even have a diesel version for £8,995.

Thing is, though, are you getting what you pay for? Is it like cheap wine? Will

you wake up with a headache?

Well, to find out, I took it down the M20 to the booze burrow for a trip to

those supermarkets of Calais.

First impressions are that I'm driving a van.

It's quite echoey in here and not terribly refined.

Most central locking systems, for instance, these days, they go... But

listen to this.

It's very uncouth.

In essence, then, the Belingo is very loud, very Van Halen.

But there is a softer Van Morrison option.

For the same money, you can have a 1.6-litre petrol engine which develops

the same power as a Mark 1 Golf GTI.

With that under the bonnet, this would feel much more like a normal car.

But how many normal cars have you ever come across that have got green

dashboards with green dials? And how many normal cars are there with five

glass panels in the roof? And these roof bars which swivel sideways so you can

carry a bicycle.

Whatever a bicycle is.

No doubt about it, the Berlingo is turning out to be astonishing value for

money.

It is possible to buy a number of other cars for Blingo money, but none of them

will be this size, none of them will be this well-equipped, and none of them

will have something that we're really looking for on this new series of Top

Gear. It's an X-Factor.

See, this, this is a perfectly acceptable car, but this, I don't know,

it's more than a car somehow.

You'd want to bring it in at night, let it sit by the fire.

Give it a saucer of warm milk and a little wheel to run around in.

It's got the most important thing that a car can have.

Character.

And now the coal is back in Newcastle. The Berlingo is back where it came from.

And I still can't find anything really wrong with it.

the turning circle's not much carp and there's a fair bit of road noise it's

not terribly sporty either but it is very comfortable hand on heart

it rides like a jaguar i could go on all

day giving you swings and roundabouts but the fact of the matter is basically

i like it

Here we are at one of those Calais hypermarket cash-and-carry booze

warehouse jobs, and boy, have I got the car for the job.

Let me show you what I mean.

We've got storage space up here, up here, and here above the driver.

In the back, there are two extra glove boxes, and then if we slide that

open, we've got a cubby hole here under the floor.

and another one there then we simply fold the seats down like so

and we have a cavernous boot and i haven't finished yet

because if we open the tailgate there's another overhead locker here for a

further 10 kilograms of booze so let's shop

I want that one, that case there.

It's all terribly exciting, all this cheap booze. But you have to be careful,

because if customs suspect you're bringing stuff back that's not for your

own personal consumption, they'll confiscate it and your car. And they're

currently confiscating 30 cars a day.

So I caught up with the shop's owner and his girlfriend to talk about this.

Because I was reading in the paper...

that if i were to put 500 bottles of gin in the car which i'm legally allowed to

do absolutely customs are so well you'd never get through all that how can they

say that when it was maggie thatcher told us to stock our larders up i mean

with 500 bottles of gin yeah but if you if you drink a bottle of gin a day that

that's only a year and a half supply that's not a lot fizzy liebfrau milch

I don't think I'll be able to convince customs that's for my personal

consumption.

No.

Other people were going berserk, perhaps because they didn't like their cars very

much. Perhaps they wanted to have them squashed.

Trouble is, I really am very fond of this car, and I don't want customs to

crush it, so... There we are.

Saved a few quid.

Well.

Now,

I should explain at this point that other vans are available.

There's the Fiat Doblo, which is a trifle cheaper than this, but I think

I'm right in saying it's the slowest accelerating car that money can buy in

Britain today.

0-60 is 21 seconds.

Then there's the Ford Torneo Connect.

That's over £10,000. You don't even want to think about that. It's so awful. And

then there's the Renault...

Kangoo, that's OK, but basically it's not as good as this. You have to have a

Berlingo. Question is, diesel or petrol? Well, to help us decide that, I've been

joined now by Top Gear's new car trader, pocket-sized chap, Jason Doerr. What do

you reckon?

Petrol. Really? Yeah, don't bother with the diesel.

Makes it feel too much like a van.

Well, it did feel like that. Going down the motorway, there was that noise, and

you just think, look, I've saved enough money here. Yeah, but you can save even

more at the minute.

Really? Yep, they are doing a facelift on this car, which means they're going

to change the bumpers and the bonnet and a couple of bits, but it'll basically

look the same.

What it does mean is that Citroen have got some of the old models. They need to

get a shot of them. These ones, basically? This car? This car, yep. So

what are they doing? They're doing a deal. You can get all the VAT off, so

that means that instead of £8,995, you can get a 1.4 for £7,700.

£7,700 for one of these? £7,700, yeah.

That's the bargain of the century.

Cheap as chips.

Good tip.

Right, if I could just sum it up, it's like Gerard Depardieu. Slightly swollen

middle, broken nose, but there are hidden talents.

And it's not just me who likes it. Everyone in the Top Gear office likes

it. All the crew here like it. Well, apart from him. He doesn't like it very

much, but everyone else does.

And the people who like it most of all are the family of Albanians that I

inadvertently brought back into Britain in each of the wheel archers. They've

written to me from their new house in Leatherhead, the Hollies, to say...

but it will always hold a special place in their heart.

Great car.

You know how when you're making up a list, as you do, of the world's greatest

race cars, you've just got to include the Ford GT40?

And here's a reminder why.

So they built one of the most successful race cars ever. Great. But that gave

them a problem, because try as they might, they struggled for years to build

anything remotely as glamorous ever again. Until they came up with a really

good idea. The best car to replace the Ford GT40 was the Ford GT40.

I mean, this is the new car, and come on, you're not fooling anyone. It's

okay, 4 inches higher and 18 inches longer than the original GT40.

But it is a GT40.

Basically, they've put the plans for the old car on a photocopy at 110% and said

enlarge. But it is a lot cleverer than the old one. It's loaded with

technology. Take a look at this.

Do you want to see the engine? Right, there it goes.

That's actually going to take a moment or two. In the meantime, you've pulled

into a petrol forecourt.

Obviously, everybody's going to be looking at you. But if they're not, this

should tip it. Have a go. Here we go. Let's get to the fuel.

Look at that.

That's just to put your petrol in.

That's unbelievable.

We can possibly squeeze in and have a look at the engine now. It's a 5.4-litre

V8, supercharged.

That's about 500 brake horsepower. That should be enough. Bear in mind, this is

a very, very light car indeed.

But take a look inside.

You've got to have a look. This is just... It's just breathtaking. Look at

the switches. Each one looks hand-carved from a lump of aluminium.

And the gate around the base of the gear lever.

Look at that. None of that nasty rubber full of bits of biscuits and old

chocolate. Of course, this isn't real.

It's a pretend one. I don't know what it'll be like when they make it. And,

oh, yes, they are going to make it. Ford have announced this week they will be

putting this into production.

But it's going to be expensive. It's going to be on sale in America for about

$150,000 apiece. And you're going to be very, very lucky, even if you've got the

money to get hold of one. They're going to be incredibly exclusive.

Basically, you're going to have to know somebody at Ford.

Other items in the news this week the government has announced that it's going

to spend 145 million pounds on the road network over the next five years which

works out at 29 million pounds a year and that's enough to pay for three and a

half miles of motorway a year Wow, so I think of the freedom we can enjoy with

that Motorway car news

Fiat, first of all, they are in deep trouble. They're currently losing £2

million a day.

Well, they've got a new model, which they think is going to stem the flow.

There it is. Look at that. They're saved.

They'll be fine with that. It's an estate version of the Stilo, and it is

actually very important this works, because if Fiat goes to the wall, they

will take with them...

Lancia Alfa Romeo Maserati and Ferrari and of course they won't go to the wall

because they're gonna get bought by General Motors So if you don't buy one

of these General Motors gets Ferrari, it's that simple. So buy one News now

the new Micra and a rather gorgeous looking little thing as well.

That's um, that's actually not it though That's the only thing lovely though. It

is they will do that. Eventually. This is gonna be the new Micra, which isn't

right

That's not bad. I've always quite liked the micro myself. The important thing

about it, though, is, loaded with technology, even in a small car, it's

even going to have, and you've probably seen this, keyless entry, so you walk up

to the car and... No, I've got some experience of that, and there is a

slight problem with it, because you keep a little smart card in your wallet, OK?

You get out of the car, push a little button, door's locked. You walk away and

you think, is that locked?

So you walk back to check, of course it recognises the smart card, it sees you

coming, it's open.

Er...

You could be there for days. The only way you know whether it wasn't locked is

someone nicks it.

Yeah, that's the only way you find out for definite.

Now, this.

We all know the Smart, the one that's been around for a few years, the one you

can park nose onto the pavement. Well, now they've got delusions of grandeur

and they've launched, well, I think we've got some footage of it here.

Two versions. There's a coupe and there is a cabriolet. Now, the cabriolet is

interesting. You've got an electric folding roof.

Rear engine with a turbocharger on it. You've got rear wheel drive, big fat

alloys, anti-lock brakes, traction control.

Basically just like a 911 Turbo.

Except a 911 Turbo is £90,000.

This, the car you're looking at here, £11,750.

That was the least convincing I've ever heard in my life. £11

,750. That is incredible, actually. If this is the future now, here...

I'm not scared of that anymore.

You can bring it on. Take as much of the future as you like. That's stunning. 11

grand. Take a moment now to talk about Formula One. What are we going to do

about Formula One?

Scrap it.

Kill it.

No, the problem... I've been working... The problem here is very simple, is that

Ferrari have completely dominated... Now, we've got a photograph of what

Michael Schumacher's going to do next year to try and keep it... There we go.

That's what he's going to do next year, to try and level it out a bit. But

really, the problem, as I see it, is that the teams have taken over. The

technology has taken over. Now that they've got traction control and

gearboxes that change for you, and I heard the other day that the teams, the

pit crews, can actually tune the engine from the pit wall.

Well, there's banners. Oh, no, we'll turn the revs down a bit. No, one of

them developed a fault, a BMW one, developed a fault, and they rerouted the

oil without actually bringing it in, did it remotely.

And you just think, where's the driver? The driver is the big hero. He's the guy

I want to watch.

You know, it was like the Second World War, you had fighter pilots, they were

the big heroes. After that, they were racing drivers.

I want to see heroes. I don't want to see geeks in black clothes going, ooh,

well, if I just fiddled with this laptop, we'll make it go faster.

In fact, I'd execute that.

I would, I'd shoot them in the back of the neck with a 9mm.

I want to see drivers take it, I want Formula One unplugged. Rip out all the

technology and give us proper racing again.

You know, Jeremy, that...

That was strangely touching, your desire for heroes. It did. I was just fed up

with it. I don't blame Ferrari.

I can't blame them. You know, they built a better car, they won. Just get rid of

all the technology.

I think computer animate the entire sport and get rid of them all in real

life. Right, here's some stirring news for us, in that it's a very stirring

car. The new Bentley Continental GT.

That is a very, very big car indeed.

I think it's gorgeous. You're a bit... It's fine. It's got a slightly Vanessa

Feltsy rear.

Yeah, there is something of her. But the important thing about the car is the

engine, right?

Powering that is a W12.

Massive engine.

It's the same engine they put in the Volkswagen Phaeton, which I've already

driven at 200 miles an hour.

Exactly. They decided at Bentley, not enough girl stuff. Strap a couple of

turbos to it, see how it'll do then. Which is great, but it's given them an

interesting problem. It's now chucking out so much torque...

that they can't tell us how much torque it's putting out. Every time they strap

it to the machines that they measure it on, it breaks them. These are things the

size of a building, these machines. They strap it down, tie it all in.

You could tie it to this base here and it would just spin the whole studio

around. It would actually go round again. That's exactly what would happen.

So, unfortunately, they can't tell you how powerful it is. Just lots and lots

of torque. Right, let's have a look at this. Excuse me.

This is Italy's newest supercar from Italy's newest...

supercar maker it's called a pagani zonda and it is exquisite it's exquisite

on the inside too look at this just a wall of aluminium and

chamois leather and carbon fiber and look at these air vents like periscopes

um anyone want to see the engine yes right well let's hop out and we

have to could you just grab the other side um you have to undo the leather

buckle

We're in the 21st century. Push the little button, OK?

And there it is. Look out there.

That's a Mercedes-Benz 7.3-litre V12.

You want to hear it?

Yes!

The problem is health and safety, OK? They've told us we mustn't start cars in

the studio, all right? But I don't think they'll hear.

Ready? Foot on the clutch, Jeremy. That'll help.

I think we got away with it. I don't think they heard us.

Now, do you want to know what it feels like to drive?

Watch this.

The similarities between the Zonda and an F-15 fighter are obvious.

Both have glassy bubble roofs at the front and a lot of engine behind.

And both have styled exhaust outlets.

There is one difference, though. In the F15, you don't get much sensation of

speed. Whereas in the Zonda, you do.

The key to this car is its engine. It was built specially for Pagani by

Mercedes, and it is a masterpiece.

For me, a huge chunk of a car's appeal is the noise it makes and the noise this

one makes is just astonishing.

But even better than the baritone backdrop is that under the super-light,

all-carbon fibre body, you have a 555 brake horsepower wallet.

Not since the Germans and the Italians teamed up in the Second World War have

we seen power like this.

The top speed in fifth is nearly 200 miles an hour.

But I'm moving out of fifth gear now and into top gear.

And now my top speed is 220 miles an hour.

of twitch under braking.

Whoops.

This car is an immense achievement.

Plainly, it's very well made.

It's astonishing to behold.

I mean, really astonishing.

I can't believe that Pagani's come from nowhere.

and come up with this.

It's a proper, proper supercar.

In fact, as I see it, it only has one problem.

It must face up to the new Lamborghini Murcielago, the latest in a long line of

raging bulls from Italy's maddest supercar maker. It's the ultimate

automotive pin-up.

Or is it?

Ever since Audi bought Lamborghini, I've been worried that the Germans would try

to bring a bit of order to the chaos, that they'd try to sanitize the madness.

This is the first Lamborghini where you don't need to have the body of Jean

-Claude Van Damme to drive it. Look, you can change gear with one finger.

And the steering doesn't feel like it's set in concrete.

And the clutch... The clutch, it's like stepping on a marshmallow.

However, some elements of Lambo-ness do remain.

It still has the ultimate pub car park accessory, gullwing doors.

And check this out. When the engine gets hot, air intakes slide out of the

buttresses.

Then there's the meat, the engine.

It may only be a 6.2-litre V12, the Zonda's a 7.3, remember, but amazingly,

this is more powerful.

It serves up 571 brake horsepower.

So, this has more grunt, but this has less weight.

So, which is the fastest?

Well, let's find out.

gently before flooring it or I'll cook the clutch and 120

into fourth look at that zombie go I'm

being annihilated 150 into fifth and that's

160 and I have been destroyed destroyed

So does this mean, then, that Audi has turned the raging bull into a timid

little veal?

No.

Not even slightly.

What they've done is turn it from a supercar into what feels like a small,

nimble, razor-sharp sports car.

The old Lamborghini Diablo is like a...

Chest of drawers with a jet engine. But this... This, you feel like the

organic part of a machine.

This is by far and away the best Lamborghini ever. Not just the prettiest

and the easiest, but the nicest to drive.

It's so good, it's better than any current Ferrari.

But astonishingly, it's not as good as the Zonda.

This... is the new king of supercars.

So that's it, Jeremy, you're saying the Zonda, better than the Lamborghini, job

done, end of story. Yes, if you're six years old and you're looking to put a

supercar on your bedroom wall, this is the one you're going to put this up, not

the Lambo. Yeah, small point, six-year-olds buy posters, what if

you're actually buying the real cars? There is a bit of a price issue here.

A small one, I admit. Yes, the Lamborghini's around £160,000 and this

is £300,000.

Ten. Right.

£1,000.

But, in its defence, you do get a free pair of shoes made by the Pope's

cobbler with this, and, no, no, you do, more than that, you get 12 months free

membership of the RAC.

12 months?

12 months free? I'm not joking, you get 12 months free. But I want to be the one

that makes that call. I want to break down M6, February, Friday night.

Hello? Yes, it's my Zonda. It's gone. I think it's the engine management. You'd

better bring a laptop.

Right, well, there's one final test for this, the Zonda and the Lambo. Now,

let's face it, nowadays, 0-60 times, absolutely meaningless.

Top speed figures, totally meaningless. What really matters is how fast a car

can lap a test track.

And fortunately, we've got our own test track for that very purpose.

So this is it, just under two miles of fast straights and tricky corners

designed by the test drivers at Lotus.

This one, Chicago Bend, is a steady state corner that really loads up the

outside tyres.

Then there's Hammerhead, a tricky left and right that provokes understeer.

This one, Followthrough, is supposed to be flat out, but death awaits the first

man to try it.

There are corners with tricky bumps and cambers designed to test brake balance.

And in this one here, a badly set-up front-wheel drive car will struggle to

put its power down at all.

Right, that's the track.

Now we needed someone who could tame it. So we got ourselves a professional

racing driver who could post consistently fast lap times.

We, um...

We couldn't do that. Now, we call this thing the Stig, OK? We don't know its

name. We really don't know its name.

No-one knows its name, and we don't want to know, cos it's a racing driver, and

racing drivers have tiny little brains, and therefore worthless opinions, and

they're very dull. Doctors actually call it Mansell's Syndrome.

Its job is simply to go out there and drive fast. So, first of all, we put it

in the Lamborghini.

Immense power. We've already discovered you've got four-wheel drive. You have to

trickle it off the line, then nail it. Right, coming over that little light

lift now. He's coming through Wilson Bend. Let's see. Does it step out of

line? He's into third.

Oh, look at that. Look at that.

Massive, massive oversteer. Right.

And through the hammerhead, no understeer at all. Incredible. Big

oversteer. He's trying not to hit those tyres on the left. And he's through.

So how's it handle Carpenter's Corner?

This is where you really want to nail it. Oh look at that

every power car that goes around our test track is going to set a lap time.

We're going to put those lap times up here on our power lap time board.

And the Lamborghini was?

1 minute 29, which is extremely good, so I'm going to put that up here.

OK, fine. Now, we know the Lamborghini... Jeremy, I can't get

Lamborghini Murcielago on here. A simple Lambo will perhaps suffice. I think I'll

have to do it. There we are, 1 minute 29. OK, Tom. Now, we know that the

Pagani is faster than the Lamborghini in a straight line. We've already seen

that, but the Lambo...

I've driven it, is fast around the corners.

So, let's put the Stig in the Zonda, see what happens.

He's coming into the first corner here.

How's it looking through the... Ooh, it's looking a bit wobbly, but...

Is he still on the track?

Yes, he is. Now he's got to get it right the way back across the other side to

get it.

This is the hard one. Yes, look at that. He's really having to fight that car.

Even I found it difficult through there.

Now he's coming up really, really hard and fast. He's hard on the brakes here.

110 metres. That's 150 miles an hour all the way down into second gear. He's

actually going to have to use first in his car. How much is the understeer

through the hammerhead corner?

God, he's actually got some oversteer there. Good, Stig. Well done, Stig.

It really is quite a driver, this one.

Right, follow through. Let's listen.

No, jitter dab on the brakes there. He's gone through the follow through without

following through.

Fighting. God, he's fighting the wheel. Up through there. Little bit on the

brake there. You can see on the power.

That really is wet out there for this one. That is a dry bit here of something

that's still wet. Look, bit damp. Brake hard.

and he's into back rack bend breaking again now for carpenter's corner

Should apologize for the easy listening soundtrack going on there. It's the

Stig. It likes to listen to the sounds of the lounge as it goes round. We've no

idea why. Perhaps it calms it down. Anyway.

Grim, but no need to apologize for that time. One minute 23. That's what? Six

seconds off the Lambo's time. That's incredible. The incredible thing is it

must have made it up in the straights all that time. Because I know. I drove

both cars. The Lambo's faster through the corners. That's where it has the

power. One minute 23. I honestly can't see that being beaten throughout the

entire series. I think we've peaked. Neither can I. Right.

There is a story going round that says if a car goes fast enough past a speed

camera, when the second flash goes off and it needs that to verify the speed,

the car won't be there. It's going so fast, it will have left the shot

entirely. So in the name of scientific endeavour and under controlled

circumstances, we had a go so that you don't have to.

We've got together everything we need to do this. A piece of track, straight,

obviously.

We've got a speed camera.

Oh, and a really fast car.

And the stick to drive it.

Honda Civic Type R. Lots of people have got these. It'll hit 60 miles an hour in

7.2 seconds and go on to a top speed of 146 miles an hour. But will that be

enough to beat the camera?

So how fast was that? Well, I've got the pictures back. It was 129 miles an hour.

And here's the results of the first flash. And there's Honda Civic doing 129

miles an hour. And then the second photograph.

Ah, it's still there. So 129 isn't fast enough.

No, that won't do it. But we didn't give up. We had another go, and we'll do that

later on.

Good.

Now... When most comedians come, actors make it to the big time, they buy

themselves a big-time car.

Rowan Atkinson, for instance, bought himself a McLaren F1.

Steve Coogan got a Ferrari 355. Norman Wisdom... Well, forget that one. Anyway,

our guest tonight, when he made it to the big time, he bought one of these.

Are we ready?

Right, here we go.

Look at that.

It is a Vauxhall...

Convertible!

Plainly, this guy was devoted to making people laugh, even when he was on the

way to the supermarket.

Shall we meet him?

Ladies and gentlemen, Harry Enfield!

What in God's name possessed you to buy one of those? It's absolutely lovely

car, very reliable motor, the Cavalier. But I did feel a bit of a, you know,

because I'd sort of become slightly famous, and you find yourself, it's the

only convertible I've had, go up to the lights in the middle of London, because

I've always lived in London, and you're sort of in the lights, and you've got

the roof down, and there are people crossing the road in front of you, and

they look in, and they see it's you.

You,

isn't it? Oh, loads of money.

And you're just stuck there because the light's red.

No, look.

Here, there's a magazine.

The convertible correspondence for the Vauxhall Cavalier Convertible Owners

Club. What a great... I know, you appeared in this, and this is my

favourite bit, under famous owners.

An occasional feature.

They haven't been able to find anyone since who's got one, and you said it was

better than a BMW.

Did I? Yeah. Well, I think it is. It's better than a BMW.

What fine hair. Yes. Which bit of it did you think was better than a BMW?

Well, I think I thought the price was better than a BMW.

Fair point. Interestingly,

when you decided that it was time to part with the Vauxhall Cavalier

convertible, you were getting even more famous at the time, you went backwards

and bought a Rover 200.

Yes, yes, I did. Again?

What in God's name possessed you to do that?

Because most work in our industry is done in Soho, and there was a shop in

Soho that sold rovers.

So I went in there and bought the rover. Forgive me, Soho? It's close to Park

Lane, on which, from memory, there's Aston Martin, Jaguar, BMW, Lexus,

McLaren, and so on, and so forth.

Right. You could have gone to any one of those shops, not to the Rover one, and

bought a Rover 200, which wasn't... But the Rover was in Soho, and they're about

half a mile away, and, you know, then... So is this why you swapped the Rover for

a Metro?

Yeah. LAUGHTER When you were going round to, say, see Rowan Atkinson or whoever

at the time, in your Cavalier or your Metro or your Rover, did they say,

Harry, and take you on one side, maybe try to give you some advice?

No, they're very... In fact, it did actually happen once, and I never talk

about sort of... But I do have a abiding memory in my head of driving around to

Rowan's house.

It sounds very show-busy, but it's the only time it's ever happened. And Robbie

Coltrane was there, and Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie, and they all had nice cars.

And I arrived at my Cavalier.

And they were all outside, it was a nice day, and they were all talking about

each other's cars. And they looked at me, and I looked at them.

And no-one ever mentioned it. Just no-one ever mentioned it.

There's nothing you can say. No-one ever mentioned the car, none of them, ever.

Anyway, what have you got now?

Now we've got a Mercedes Estate, yes.

Very media. Very nice. It's very small.

And? It's too small. And my wife's got a Mini.

Very good.

Have you seen this?

Yes, I want that car. It's called a Volvo.

I want that car. It's got seven seats and... Oh, there's a picture of it on

the screen. That's a Volvo, cos I'm not allowed to drive, cos my wife likes to

drive. So I have to sit in the other thing, and at the moment, I sit in a car

like this with an airbag here. This one, it looks very big.

I either want this or the BMW one, which we tried out. It's fantastic.

No, you don't. It's great. I assure you, you don't want it. It's the ideal car

for my wife to drive, because she's got blonde hair and we live in Notting Hill,

and that's the car that people drive.

You're not just here to chat today. Aren't I?

No, because earlier today...

We had you doing some work. Oh, yeah.

Absolutely. You see, the thing is, every week, we are going to run an item call.

A star in a reasonably priced car. We got the star, obviously.

What we then needed was a reasonably priced car.

Now, we talked to Hyundai. They said no.

We talked to Nissan.

They said no. We talked to Daewoo. They said no. Then we talked to Suzuki, and

they said, sure, Eveliana, £9,995 on the road. In fact, it's over there.

There it is.

And what a beauty it is. The most beautiful car I've ever seen.

In the world. In the world, absolutely.

And the idea is that every week, our star will take that round our test

track, see how fast he or she can do it, and then we'll post that time on a

board, and at the end of the series, we'll be able to name Britain's fastest

celebrity. Trouble is, of course, we weren't going to let you go out first of

all. I had to try it with the other guys, and this is what happened.

34 miles an hour. No, look at this. Look at this. It's going well. I once drove a

supertanker that was a bit like this.

We're going off. We're going off.

We're off. We're off the track. A bit of track with us there, which is a paint

job.

Anyway, we got the tracking fixed in the gearbox, and I posted a time, even with

Big Jason in the back, of one minute, 50 seconds.

Now, we're currently cutting your lap in the edit suite. We'll be showing it

later. How fast do you think you might have done it? I don't know.

You don't know? But it was very fast.

Was it? Yeah. I can't remember what comes next. Oh, I know. We're going to

see if we can get that car to go through a speed camera.

We're going to try and beat a speed camera. So do you want me to stay here

or go?

No, have a seat. Roll your sleeves up. Great. Would you like a drink?

Yeah. Chill.

Earlier on, in the name of scientific endeavour, we tried to see if it was

possible to go fast enough to beat a speed camera. We used a Honda Civic Type

R. It did 129 miles an hour, and it was still there for the second flash.

You might think this thing would be the one to do it in. It wouldn't. It's only

a pretend one. 20 miles an hour tops.

So we got hold of a faster car.

Right then, this should be worth a go, the Mercedes CL55 AMG. At 89 grand, not

only does it cost as much as a house, it's nearly as big as one. But it'll

still do 60 miles an hour in 4.7 seconds, and it'll cruise all day at 155

as easily as your car will do 30.

But will that be enough? Let's find out. Go on, then.

Well, we've got the pictures back, and here they are.

148 miles an hour, and, oh, dear, there he is in the first one, and still there

in the second one. That isn't fast enough. We're going to have to try and

go even faster, and we will do that.

OK, so far in the programme, we've shown you how to save money on a family

hatchback. We're trying to save you some money on speeding fines by showing you

that if you speed up, you can get round them.

And now we're going to give you the biggest money-saving tip.

them all there's been a lot of talk in the newspapers on the radio this last

couple of weeks about people running their cars their diesel engine cars I

should say on vegetable oil there's been so many people trying it that up north

one supermarket train chain is now rationing the amount of oil that it will

sell to individuals now the thing is is that you can run a car on vegetable oil

It's not completely brilliant.

However, I've been joined here by Jason Taylor. You reckon you've got a little

additive that makes the whole thing better, yeah?

Yeah. So what we've got here is some normal vegetable?

That's used vegetable oil from a Mexican restaurant.

Used? Used, yeah.

Why used?

Well, we find it gives it a bit of better power to the engine.

Really? So all these bits, we have to strain those out, obviously, so...

Put that over here, one of these J-cloths, OK?

And in we go.

So that'll collect the bits.

Look at that.

And you reckon this will work?

Yeah, it's like Golden Elixir, that stuff.

Does it make the car smell of it?

It is, actually. The different restaurants, you can tell what you're

running it on.

Seriously? Yeah.

So if we run a car on this, it's going to... A little essence of where it came

from. Yeah.

OK, that's in there like that. Fine. Now, what have you worked out you have

to add to that?

Right, well, just to make it a bit more runnier, you add a solvent, and for this

experiment, we've got a non-kerosene-based white spirit.

OK. It has to be non-kerosene-based for tax reasons.

OK, and how much do we have to put in?

In a litre... In 97ml of vegetable oil, put 3ml of...

That's in there. So it's about that much. OK, let's just get that, pull that

over here.

OK, so we add that.

OK, and then we whisk it up.

Well, actually, you don't really need to whisk it, but... So is that ready to go

now? That's ready to... Well, no, you should let it stand for at least a week

or so.

And how much does that cost for a litre? About three pence plus the tax.

Oh, you have to pay tax?

Mm. If you didn't tell the customs and excise, that's 3p. If you do tell

them... You have to tell them.

Of course, you have to tell them.

You have to tell them, right?

And how much are they going to charge?

26 pence, but check with your local customs and excise office.

There's about 29p a litre. You've got to fill a couple of forms in.

29p a litre. Let's just run through. Do you have to modify the engine?

No. Just any old diesel will do? Yeah. And it's fine? Yeah. Performance?

The same as diesel, maybe even better.

And you reckon we could tip that into a diesel car at work?

Yeah.

Got to give that a go, haven't we?

This is a Volvo 740. In the front, there's a diesel engine, and in the tank

at the back, nothing. It's empty. Listen.

Start the engine.

Can't start the engine. No fuel.

And we can verify that. Look, here we have an independent adjudicator. Bal,

you'll verify there's nothing in there. There's nothing in the tank. We've ran

off 25 litres.

It's completely empty now. Right, brilliant. Well, if we go round the back

and look in the boot...

We find a big container full of vegetable oil from El Rios in

Macclesfield. Now, we've added a splash of white spirit, and Bal is going to

pour that into the tank.

Right, it's now been converted from a carnivore into a herbivore. But, of

course, being a diesel, you can't just start it. You have to bleed the system

first, which you've just done, yes, Bal?

Yep, all ready to go. System bled, no airlocks in there. Good, let's close the

bonnet.

If you want to step in, and let's see if it starts.

If it does, I shall be astonished.

That's amazing!

Go, go!

£1.50 a gallon and it's working.

Wow. It's actually, I mean, it's still going round. And is it green?

So environmental yeah, apparently so yeah Wow anyway, Harry big news your lap

has been edited. Do you wanna have a look? Yes, please. Let's see Harry's lap

Okay, here we go. I hope I don't die ready steady go

It went skid I've got a 30 miles an hour.

I've got 40 miles an hour Oh,

yeah, that's supposed to be take that down way and

nicely controlled little

foot on the brake little tiny bit and

into second take it round into second

yes i could feel some

kind of breaking happening there me breaking the car

Oh, yes. Whoa.

Hey, I lost control of that.

Nice. That was fun.

Finished. I'm the winner.

In a race of one.

There are a couple of things I've got to bring up on that. On one of the corners,

I think it was Bacharach Bend there, the tail was out.

You're a bit of a hypocrite. You came off the bloody circuit.

I know. I'm saying this is praise.

Oh, this is a good thing, isn't it? It's a good thing.

It's a good thing. I mean, here I was.

Cavalier, convertible, Metro, Rover 200. I assumed, father of three, I assumed

that you'd be useless.

Well, I was useless. No, but you weren't.

Because you put your foot on the brake and it doesn't skid really. It goes...

It's got that APS braking thing. Really? That'll do, yeah. So you go...

In third, because it doesn't really go in fourth. But it's very nice. That's

what I call a proper A to B car.

Want to know how fast it was? I reckon. Shall I guess?

That was 148. That was 150.

147.

I've got some disappointing news for you. Oh, no.

Enfield, I'll just put you up here. You're the very first star in a

reasonably priced car.

Enfield, two minutes, one second.

And that's only 11 seconds off the pace, and that's not bad. I've been driving

around there all day. There you go. We'll put you there.

Right, it's time now for some insider dealing.

Jason, what have you got for us this week? Well, first of all, the Mini. So

great news for Harry. At last, after his appalling run of bad-luck with cars,

he's bought one that's good news.

The car's been out for about 12 months now, and the first of those cars are

actually starting to be listed in Glasses Guide and Cap.

And incredibly enough, the basic model, the Mini 1, which is this one, was just

on £10,000 when it was new.

Today, that car, as a used car, is worth £10,500.

So you could...

You could run one for a year, 10,000 miles, and sell it for more than you

paid for it. And make your profit, £500.

I mean, that sometimes happens with expensive cars, doesn't it? Ferraris and

Porsches. Yeah, but something this cheap, I mean, it just doesn't happen.

That's astonishing.

Look how sick I'm feeling.

Should have bought a whole dozen of them. I mean, the problem is, the same

thing's happening in America. They've just shipped 20,000 over there. They

sold that in... 15 minutes.

I mean, you know, ridiculous. All gone, yeah.

It really has been a success.

What else is there? Well, Subaru.

Everybody knows the Impreza Turbo.

When the car first came out, it was a great-looking car, but that's the one we

remember, unfortunately, the ugly bug. That's the one we've got now.

Now, that car's only been out for just under three years, but it's been doing

so badly that Subaru realised they had to change the way the thing looked.

They've actually got a facelift coming out in February of next year. Which

everybody knows about. The problem they've got is that they've got stacks

of these.

So they're going to do something about it. And what they're doing is they're

taking three grand.

Three grand off the price of these cars. So how much is it now?

£18,995. You can buy a brand new Subaru Turbo.

Seriously, they will do that. You walk in, you just go, I want £3,000 off that.

They go, certainly, sir. They've dropped it by three grand. That's before you do

any discount, any negotiation.

That's the most you'll pay for one is £18,995.

And then there'll be a new pretty, I mean, you could just buy that, kick it

in the headlights, make it look better anyway.

That's fantastic. Good news if you want to buy a new one. They are so cheap. But

the problem is that when something new drops in price, you've got to reflect

that in the used car values as well. Yeah, but I haven't got a used Subaru,

so why do I care? Because if you were going to buy a used Subaru, you

shouldn't. You should wait for a couple of months.

Wait for these to flood the market, and you'll save yourself another couple of

grand on a used one.

brilliant what else xc90 the suv the new volvo suv volvo have made a major error

with this car because the car's just so good but they're only gonna make three

and a half thousand yeah three and a half thousand for the uk for the whole

year now if you divide that by 220 dealers yeah it works out about one car

per dealer per month Which is nowhere near enough. Which is nowhere near

enough. I was talking to someone from Volvo the other day, and he said, well,

I think we're only going to make 50,000. I just thought, I can't believe that,

because they've got a Volvo, pretty popular, make it an off-road car, well,

sort of off-road car, and that's really doubly popular. Then they're going to

put seven seats in it, three rows, still space behind for a Labrador or any other

sort of Sloanie dog.

And then they've got TVs in the back, they've got separate hi-fi seats, you

can listen to tapes in the middle seats and stereo and radio in the front.

And then they said, we'll sell many of those, even though it's £12,000 less

than an X5.

Potty. So, Harry, hang on to your Mini and buy a Volvo, and you save so much

money, you can buy the Cavalier back.

Mazda have made precisely two interesting cars in recent years, the MX

-5, which is a sports car for girls and blokes who like ABBA, and the RX-7,

which was good.

but a bit daft. So news of a new Mazda Sports saloon is hardly going to excite

anyone outside of the frimbly green bowls club, is it?

People don't buy Mazdas because they desperately want a Mazda. They buy them

because, well, unfortunately for them at that particular time, it suits their

needs. In that sense, Mazdas are like sink plungers. You don't really want

one, but sometimes you've just got to have one.

Mazdas are good cars for shy exhibitionists. You could drive one butt

naked through any major town in the world and not an eye would be batted.

They're practically invisible.

The Mazda 6 needed an image, so it got one and it looks fantastic.

Mazda confess quite openly to leaning over the shoulders and cribbing from BMW

and Volkswagen, but they haven't been stupid enough just to turn out a

straight copy. Oh, no.

The interior doesn't look like a Japanese copy of a German design.

This is a Japanese design. They've used their own ideas, and the changes are

much more than merely cosmetic.

They haven't messed around for this car. They haven't just tweaked the old 626

and launched it as an all-new motor. This is entirely new. So there's a whole

new range of engines.

This is a 2.3-litre, four-cylinder job.

The figures really aren't that good.

On paper, it's about 166bhp. If you're interested, 0-60 is claimed in nine

seconds. Ho-hum. But that doesn't tell the whole story.

The point is, it's tuned so that it's a constant power delivery. It's mid-range,

it's always there.

It feels like a bigger, lazier engine than it really is.

And then there's the handling, which, well, where did this come from? This is

a Mazda, yeah?

Are we quite sure?

It goes round corners really, really well.

It just grips and grips.

If anything, it's encouraging me to misbehave, and I particularly like that.

This is incredible.

It is exciting to drive, and I was really not expecting that.

It's just such a shock, like discovering somebody really grey and average like

John Major is a shagmeister.

One blip does make itself abundantly clear pretty quickly. It's quite noisy.

As soon as you just head off in one direction for any length of time with

any speed on, there's a lot of road rumble and wind noise.

That's going to be bad news when you get to the motorways.

So how much will it cost?

Well, the cheapest BMW 3 Series is £18,695.

And for that, you'll be lucky if you get the sun visor. This is the top spec

Mazda 6. It's got everything on it.

And it'll cost you 17,995 quid.

So, will value for money cure Milton Keynesman of his BMW addiction?

Probably not.

This is still a Mazda. People will think of it as a Mazda. So no matter how good

it is, let's be honest, a life of luxury and excitement in the south of France

does not await the Mazda 6.

I'm sorry.

For you, it's going to be a life of powering up and down the M5, the M4,

service stations, cheap motels.

But it makes me feel good that at least we've brought it out here for a final

dangling thrashing, a final day out, a final fling before you begin your life

of misery and servitude.

Now, I've driven this car.

And I couldn't believe how brilliant it was. It just feels so tight, doesn't it?

It's sharp and it's a Mazda. I know.

And £700 cheaper than a BMW. Another £700 save tonight. With more power and

more kit.

Quite an achievement.

Right, more science. Final attempt at this. We've been trying to prove, is it

possible for a car to go fast enough to beat a speed camera? So far, all we've

proven is it's really, really difficult. We had a racetrack, the Stig to drive

the car. Really fast cars haven't done it. We're going to have one last go.

So far, yes, I agree, we've failed. But we haven't disproven the theory, just

that we need a quicker car.

Something like this, a TBR... ..Tuscan S.

Remember, this would be a crazy thing to do if we weren't using a professional

racing driver on our own test track.

It never went off. It was going so fast, over 170 miles an hour, the camera never

saw it. Seriously?

Absolutely. So we've proven it is a mugs game. You need two miles of track, you

need a car that will do over 170 miles an hour, but in the name of science, we

did it.

We have to start winding up the show. The vegetarian car is still going round

outside. Next week, I go to Wales with an RS Focus.

We've got Jamiroquai frontman JK coming here to try and go faster than Harry

Enfield. And, you know, you're always seeing people with motorbikes trying to

see how many buses they can jump, yeah? Well, next week, we're going to see how

many bikes we can jump with a bus.

See you then.

Good night!

Top Gear's back this Tuesday night and again next Sunday. Up next on BBC Prime,

what does it mean to be human?

Well, it's called a Nissan Mildred.