Original subtitles

The fuck is knocking right now?

The fuck? Who is it?

Oh, what?

Hey, hey, what's up?

Hey, can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah, yeah, come in.

Um... What's going on? So, there's...

An emergency back at home.

Yeah.

I actually have an infestation of scorpions in my room right now.

What? And Mom won't help me out.

Katie's not in town, so I can't go stay with her.

I was wondering if maybe you'd let me crash here for a couple days until Mom

gets it taken care of.

How come you didn't call me? I wasn't expecting you. I tried to call you, but

your phone's going straight to voicemail.

Oh, man. I don't know. I mean...

Tony, come on.

Please. I have a really busy week all week, and... Listen, I know you're my

stepsister and all, but... You can't crash with, like, your friend or

anything? No, she's not in town.

Come on, I promise I'll be quiet. I won't bother you.

Just for a couple days.

A couple days? Just a couple days.

Alright, I mean... Fuck.

Yeah, I guess... I'll sleep on the couch. Okay, yeah, because, like I said,

I... I have a really busy schedule this week, and, like, I just need to get

rest, okay? So please. Yeah, I totally understand. I don't want you fucking, I

don't want any loud music.

No. Any late night phone calls or just.

I got you none of that, none of that. And you're going to sleep on the couch?

Yeah, I'll sleep on the couch.

All right.

I'll be quiet. This is a one-bedroom apartment, so it's not very big.

I know, I know.

Just anything at this point will help.

I can't stay back home. I'm freaking out. I don't want to sleep in a room

with scorpions everywhere.

All right, fine.

So, yeah, let me show you where you can bring your bag and shit, okay?

Okay. Thank you so much. All right.

Oh,

my God. I'm going to fucking piss.

Fuck. I'm going to fucking pee in my fucking pants.

Oh, my God. Whoa, shit. What the fuck are you doing?

Did I forget to lock the door? Yeah, you did.

I'm sorry.

Oh, I have to piss.

I'm just paying.

Okay, can you hurry up, please? Yeah, I'll hurry, I'll hurry. This is what I'm

talking about. This is exactly what I'm talking about. This shit is awkward now.

I'm sorry, I forgot to lock the door. Okay, fine.

Okay, please hurry up. Oh, my God. What the fuck, man?

Yeah, come in.

What's up? What fucking time is it?

Like 6.37?

What's going on?

Um, I had a long night at work last night and this couch is like killing my

back. Can I please possibly sleep in the bed?

Oh my god, are you kidding me?

Please.

This couch is, like, stiff as a board. Well, I got home really late last night

from work, and I'm fucking tired. I can't believe you just woke me up at 6

.30. I know. I'm sorry.

I won't bother you. This is kind of weird, though. You're my stepsister.

Like, first you come over here unannounced.

Now you want to sleep on the bed, too.

This is your first night here.

We don't have to, like, do anything. It's just I need a bed.

God's killing me.

All right. Fine. Fuck it.

Listen, just don't move around too much, okay? Because I'm a really light

sleeper. Anything will wake me up. I really need to get some sleep.

I haven't slept.

I'm just tired, okay?

All right, fuck it.

Thank you.

Just don't toss and turn too much, okay? I hate that.

And turn the other way.

No, for real. Yeah, come on.

Don't bother me. I'm going to turn this way too.

Whatever.

Fuck.

Who's that?

Huh? Do you have a boner?

Look. Tell me.

I'm sorry.

You're my stepbrother. I know. This is my morning wood, okay? What do you want

me to do?

What do you have? Am I supposed to fucking cut it off? You're my bed. I

mean, I get horny in the mornings. I'm sorry.

Maybe you should go sleep on the couch.

No, no, anything but that fucking couch. Well, listen, I mean... Damn, I was just

about to fall asleep again. Now I can't fucking sleep.

This is what I'm talking about. I mean... Can you just go on the couch,

please? No, no, I don't want to sleep on that couch.

Okay, so what am I supposed to do? I can't sleep now.

I have a bunch of errands to do this morning.

What if I just...

give you a handjob or something so you can bust and never go back to sleep. A

handjob?

Listen, I don't know about that. You're my stepsister.

I mean, you have a problem to take care of, but I don't want to sleep on the

couch, so why not let me help you out? But you're my stepsister. What if...

We're not blood related.

That's awkward, though. And it's not like I'm going to go tell everybody.

I don't know. You can trust me.

I don't know. I don't...

I don't trust you. I know how you are. You'll say something to someone, and

then Mom and Dad will find out. You think I want people to know this? We're

going to be like the weirdos in the fucking family, you know?

Yeah, that's why I wouldn't say anything. I don't want anyone to know

I'm whacking my stepbrother off.

And you won't say nothing?

No, I swear.

Just let me help you.

Okay, fine, fine, but this isn't anything, like, I mean, this is not

going to get weird between us, is it? No.

Like, we'll just pretend it never even happened.

So, are you just going to give me a handjob?

Yeah. So, you can bust and then we'll go back to sleep.

Alright,

I guess. Yeah, that's fine. Just, there's some lube in that drawer right

there. Just grab it.

Oh, yes.

You're not telling me. Fuck no. Are you crazy?

That feels pretty good, actually.

Oh, my God, yes. Just like that.

Fuck yeah.

Wow.

You actually have a pretty nice attack.

Okay, just don't make this any more awkward, please.

Just, I'm going to close my eyes while you do this so I can finish.

Just do it a little harder, like squeeze it a little harder, yes.

I don't know. I just... I don't feel like I need to come anytime soon. I

mean... Seriously?

It's kind of awkward. You're my stepsister.

Maybe... Maybe you should just go on the couch.

No.

No.

Well, I mean, I can't concentrate because, like I said, you're my

stepsister. You're just joking me. Like, this is kind of awkward.

Well... I mean, this is kind of making me horny.

What? Why? Really?

Yeah.

Just fuck me.

What?

We already said it was going to stay between us anyways.

I can't do that. You're my stepsister. I can't. We can't have sex. No way. Like,

this is crazy.

Nobody's going to know. Not blood.

Don't be a pussy.

I'm not a pussy. I'm just... You're acting like it. I'm scared that you're

going to say something to someone.

I'm not going to say anything.

Then we're going to, like you said, look like the family weirdos.

You're really going to let me fuck you?

Yeah.

Fuck. Why not?

And you won't say shit?

No. Oh, my God.

Wow, this is crazy.

I never thought we would be fucking doing this for a while.

Me either.

Fuck.

Come on. All right, I guess. Yeah, that's fine, but damn.

Just don't ever say shit, please. I swear I won't.

You want to suck on it now?

Amen.

I can't believe I'm fucking my steps this day.

I'm gonna hang a stepbrother's dick for you.

Fuck is so good at that. You're so fucking good.

I'm gonna have a little slip to the gum, baby.

Alright?

You can stay here anytime you want.

Now you can sleep?

I think now I can sleep.

Oh, my God, yeah.

That's just going to put me right to sleep.

Remember, we can't say shit about this ever, okay?