Original subtitles

So we're bribing cops now?

Well, let's call it making friends.

Do friends use police scanners to learn each other's coffee orders?

If they're right or die, they do. Besides, we need someone on the inside

to run plates and let us peek at files.

Xiao's a boss, but Perez... Perez shows promise.

Let's just find his desk, deliver the goods, and get the hell out of here

before we run into... Ah, what are you doing here?

Looking for you.

Token of our appreciation for everything you've done for us.

Oat milk.

Refined white sugar. You can taste what kind of sugar? You're trying to woo

Perez. What?

Why would you even say that?

Thought so.

If Perez were here, he would say the same thing.

We are not a resource for wannabe PIs.

What?

Wannabes? Tell that to the license hanging on our wall.

Not your finest work, honey. Yeah, the caffeine hasn't kicked in yet.

He looks so sweet I could eat him.

Agreed. What's with the puppets?

Oh, you mean Socrates and Plato?

They helped me put Flapjack to sleep. We almost made it through the allegory of

the cave.

So it was good this morning, huh?

Dex was great.

Will ate all your mini quiches.

And a package arrived.

You ate all the quiches? Well, there are many.

It's Mom's ashes.

Ah, honey, I'm sorry.

Oh, they finally got here.

Even in death, she managed to talk the Thai government into an extended vacay.

I'm good, I swear. I've had time to process.

This is what happens when you mix tequila and parasailing.

So, uh, what do you want to do with them?

I have an in with His Holiness at the Dharma Center if you want. Mine wasn't

much for ceremonies.

Yeah, but ceremonies are for the living. It's like a final act of love.

Or we keep it simple and spread her ashes in her favorite place.

You think Caesars will let me sprinkle her into the ashtrays?

Oh, our client's almost here.

Man, if my mom showed up in a box, I'd crank Bohemian Rhapsody and crawl into

bed with a box of Eggos. Yeah, Angie and Nora's relationship was complicated.

When did you last see her? Oh, I don't know, about five years ago, just after

the wedding.

Well, if she was at your wedding, you have footage of her.

IRL on VHS.

We didn't get married in the 80s.

And the video got lost in the move. Wait, you lost your wedding video?

Yeah. How?

You label things.

Yeah, I do.

Don't touch Will, but it never seems to work. Why do you care so much about our

wedding video?

She's my sister's mom.

I want to know everything.

Just like you want to know everything about my life.

Ooh, stay by the bell.

It was supposed to be a surprise.

I was going to propose to my girlfriend at the Mary Argentina.

You mean the Mary Argentay?

I used to go there when I played in the IPHL. Best creme brulee in the city.

Never tried it. I'm not a soup guy.

So, I had the perfect ring.

24 karat gold, emerald stone.

Mom put it inside a velvet ring box and then put that inside a gift box with a

seal. Then that box went into a big chocolate egg.

Like Russian nesting dolls.

No, no. It's Chinese.

Um,

the seal on that box, what does it mean?

Shuangshi. Mom says it means double happiness, but it didn't really work

because after Colette cracked the egg and opened the boxes... The ring was

gone. And then Colette's all like, what's with all the empty boxes?

And then I'm like, wrong egg.

She totally bought it. How much is this ring worth?

Insured for $10,000, but it's not about the money. It's a family heirloom. Ming

Dynasty.

Or maybe Ching.

Or maybe that was the store name.

My sister knows. The point is, it's old.

Right. Good recap.

The ring was the only thing that my family kept when they left China.

It was passed down from Popo to Mom to me, and I lost it.

When's the last time you saw the sealed box?

I gave it to the restaurant at noon.

And what time was dessert served?

I think 8.

And was the seal intact?

No. It wasn't even on the box.

All right, well, we have a timeline. The ring was stolen sometime between noon

and 8 p.m. Can you find it before Friday?

That's when Popo flies in for the big family dinner to celebrate my

engagement. But since that didn't happen, this is a perfect time for a

proposal redo.

No one will know I lost the ring.

Didn't your mom ask how it went? I told her it was a no-go because Colette got

sick. I never told my sisters.

My family already thinks I messed things up, so I need to pull this off so I can

prove that I'm no doughhead.

A doughhead? That's what my sister Mochi calls me.

She definitely can't know I screwed up.

Don't worry. We'll keep this on the down-low. Good.

Because Mochi's super smart.

mom says she's the real brains of the police department i gotta pick there's

mom winnie me obvi and there the one not smiling that's detective violet shall

i see you and you see me

watch you blow in the lines when you're making a scene oh boy you've got

to know

What my head overlooks The senses will show to my heart When it's watching

for lies Cause you can't escape my Private eyes They're watching

you Private eyes They're watching you, watching you, watching you, watching you

Emerald ring inside a gift box. Inside a velvet box.

No, velvet box inside a gift box.

Sealed with wax and a chocolate egg. That's a lot of moving parts.

Don't these kids know the key to a good proposal is to keep it simple? Like

yours? Yeah. Christmas morning, ring in your stocking. Simple.

Elegant. And Jules made a good partner in crime. Said she was asking for her

friend's sloppy cover.

We're both going to need cover. Shall finds out we're working for her family.

Hope we're not having regrets.

We don't even know if the ring was stolen.

George might have lost it or ate it. George is not the sharpest crayon, but

he is sweet.

And imagine growing up with Violet Xiao as your sister. No wonder he's scared.

Everything's on the line. It is for us, too.

We don't find the ring. Xiao murders us, and Dex gets raised by Victoria's Big

Lebowski. Or we find the Cherish family heirloom. Xiao loves us, and we get our

police contact.

We better.

No one's sipping white Russians while raising my kid. They would look cute in

matching bathrobes.

What do we know? The box was sealed when George delivered it at noon.

That's an eight-hour window for the theft.

So, first question, who made the egg?

Saturday nights are crazy.

Two engagements plus a dine-and-dasher, but nobody shady in my kitchen.

Could someone have stolen the ring after it was put in the egg?

Not possible.

See this?

Pregnancy test?

Marzipan birth announcement.

I've had weirder. Now, watch.

This gets sealed.

You want what's inside?

Break the egg.

And that egg was still intact when it arrived at their table. So the ring was

stolen before it was placed in the egg. Did you look inside the gift box?

No. It's my job to encase it, not look inside. What time did you encase it?

Around six.

I got it from the walk-in when I started my shift.

This is important, Denise. The gift box, did it have a red seal on it? No. I

didn't see anything like that. Who left it in the walk-in for you?

These proposals are our specialty.

We take great pains to ensure they go off without a hitch. Yeah, that is not

in doubt.

Maybe someone on your staff had a reason to steal the ring. Could be someone you

recently let go.

My team would never steal.

We've done this with diamond rings worth ten times as much. Not to mention we

were extra careful with this one, given the recipient's father.

Who's her father?

Ernie Dodd.

Of the Dodd Furniture Empire.

The mattress guy with those cheesy space commercials?

Go boldly where no prices have gone before.

Where did you put the gift box?

I held on to it until four, and then I placed it in the walk-in.

I know for a fact the red seal was on it. Mind if we take a look in that walk

-in?

This is where I place any items to be sealed inside our chocolate eggs.

Champagne and caviar. We are definitely coming here.

Stop drooling. We're not spending 600 bucks to leave hungry.

Are we about finished?

This caviar, when was it delivered?

Two weeks ago.

And not a single item was missing the day after the theft.

Clearly, we are not at fault.

You were saying?

If this gets out, it'll bring shame to the Marie-Archante. I beg you. We'll

keep quiet. If you give us a list of the staff working between 4 and 5 p.m. on

Saturday. You might as well throw in the reservation list and the police report

on that Dinah Dasher. And let's revisit my earlier question.

Did anyone on the staff have reason to steal the ring?

Why don't you tell us you used to date George?

Because it's none of your business.

Must have been a gut punch to prepare dessert for his future wife.

This is her favorite restaurant. George checked in, asked if I was okay doing

it, and I am. I so am.

Earlier you told us you didn't open the gift box. You want to take another swing

at that?

I didn't.

It's too painful.

Why did you and George break up?

George is the best.

I got into the Ecole Nationale Supérieure de Patisserie, and George

even moved to Paris with me.

But he ended it? No, his sister did. His sister? She flew all the way to Paris to

tell me that I wasn't right for George, wasn't right for the family. Then she

packed his bags and took him back to Victoria, and we all lived happily ever

after.

I loved George, but his family was impossible, especially their gatekeeper.

Let me guess.

Violet?

If I were a lost wedding album, where would I be?

Okay.

Look at this, Flapjack.

R.I.P. Y2K.

Okay.

Some stuff in here.

Whoa! Oh, no way!

Nice fine puddle duck.

Oh, what's this?

Wedding USB key?

Watch out, Madden Angie.

There's a new detective duo in town.

One of them is super cute.

One of them needs a diaper change.

This wax seems pretty malleable.

I think I can pull us a decent print. Which we can send to the police contact

we don't have. Well, we may not need one with this new app. If we can snap a

photo of a second print for comparison, it'll confirm a match with up to 80%

accuracy. Leaving 20% inaccuracy. It's an app. What do you expect?

Should we be looking into this dine-in dasher?

Someone after a quick buck lucks out with a ring? Yeah, but why leave all

that caviar?

Tins are small and easy to grab.

Maybe this theft isn't about money.

Maybe it's personal.

Like? Chau flying to Paris to break up George and Denise.

Tracks, except I checked and Chau was working that night.

Hang on.

The incident report for the dine and dasher was filed at 4.30. That's in the

window of opportunity for the theft.

Give you one guess who the responding officer was.

Are we really calling Chau a suspect?

Not to her face, but we've got her at the scene. Major Crimes doesn't handle

dine-in dashers. But the report says she was the closest responding officer.

And you buy that?

You heard Denise?

Xiao had motive for the crime.

Plus she got us wannabes.

Keep your bruised ego out of this. Our bruised ego? We took vows. Not for

insults. One bump.

George told us Xiao didn't know about the proposal.

He also thought creme brulee was soup. I just can't believe we're going to break

into a cop's car.

We need Xiao's prints.

Plus, we already broke into her office once. It's a de-escalation.

Coin toss?

Hey, I got us the RPF signal. You're up next. Oh, big deal. So you hid and

waited until she clicked a fob. Anne sat through 20 minutes of her complaining to

her landlord about Paul McCartney.

Neighbor's cat.

Listen, you do this, I'll commit to taking the lead on potty training.

Up there? Yeah.

All clear?

All clear.

Love these new earpieces. Great sound.

RPF signal worked. I'm in.

So much for scoring shell points instead of committing petty theft.

It's not theft if you don't take anything.

I don't think Shell would appreciate the difference.

How can every surface be so

clean? It's a fingerprint.

Dex would have had it by now. Just hurry up before... Detective Xiao!

Oh my gosh. Just the person I was looking for.

Did you bring Yanni's donuts?

No, but I can have it Ubered over in a matter of seconds.

You know what? Never really ask if you're allergic to anything gluten. What

about sesame?

Some people don't know that sesame is part of the nut family. Hold on, there's

a wasp! Where?

It's around your ankle. Where?

Shoulder. It's right here. Hold on. You know what?

It's in your hair. Come here. What? Come here. It's in your hair.

I'll get it. Get out.

Kill it.

I can't kill it. It's an endangered species. Those are bees.

What's their fair game?

Wow, what a stinger.

Stop moving.

Oh, it just flew away. It's gone.

Insect free.

You're welcome.

Please tell me you got a fingerprint.

Nope. But you got plans tonight.

What are you doing at Women's Whiskey Night?

Well, I'm a woman.

And I like whiskey.

Hmm.

What's your favorite single malt?

Delwiney 15-year.

Glendrock Dark. Glendrock Parliament 21.

Blair Ethel for the florals. Those are just my highlands. Do you want my

lowlands, too? Blair Ethel?

Wonderful choice. It's one of the oldest distilleries in Scotland. Now stop

interrogating my guests.

Oh, you own this place?

I do, Winnie Hiao.

Angie Everett. Please excuse my sister, Violet. She used to scare our teachers,

too. Your sister?

Now stop being so you tonight and have fun, Mochi.

Yeah, Mochi.

Have some fun.

One, two, three, open. Open.

Kanbei.

I got you.

That's good.

That's good.

Sculptured through charcoal and aged in white oak.

Aging white oak? Asian white oak.

Oh, you got a... Oh, Clit. George said you were working a double.

Typical doe head. I do doubles on Saturdays.

Sorry for being so late. Guess who I found in my apartment leaving

tupperwares of food in my fridge?

You gave mom keys?

I would be living off instant noodles if it weren't for her. She is so sweet. Oh,

she loves you. We all do.

You're like the sister I never had. Okay, standing right here.

I love you.

How's off-duty Xiao?

Same on-duty serious?

Small wrench in her theory.

George's fiance, Colette, is here.

Well, cue the fireworks.

Of love?

Xiao and Winnie seem to love Colette. I mean, why would she sabotage an

engagement that she's rooting for?

Maybe we got the motive wrong. You just need to get the fingerprint.

It won't be easy trying a glass from Xiao's vice-like grip. It's just a

fingerprint, Ange.

Dex should have it by now.

Is that our wedding video?

Lost in the move?

Nice tripod, Ro. I found it in like five minutes.

I'm more than just like you, Shade. And if my daughter bails on this wedding, I

am ready to step in.

Oh,

she's gold.

Okay, okay.

Ooh, there is a nice peatiness to that.

That's unusual for a lowland single mall. I like her.

You're drunk. Okay, so you're dating their brother. Mm-hmm. About a year.

George needs to stop dragging his feet and put a ring on this one.

Aw.

What's with that face? No face. This is just my face. Just put a ring on it.

That's unheard of coming from you. Oh, so you don't approve of George's

girlfriend. That's putting it mildly. Mochi basically exiled Denise, whereas I

had lunch with her last week.

You have lunch with all his exes. Weird. It's called being social.

And Denise is not over the breakup.

Oh, well, maybe you should send her an orchid like when you went brownie points

with mom.

Denise is not over George.

That makes me so...

Sad. Oh, no, no, no, no. It never would have worked out. George could not have

lived in Paris. He felt French.

And he's a homebody. Remember when he phoned for a pickup from camp after two

nights? That was 20 years ago.

Yeah, but Denise would have been whipping egg whites in culinary school

all day. George would be home alone. Maybe you could have asked George.

George can't advocate for himself. He's too soft. He needs someone to protect

him. I'm with Violet on this one. My husband and brother always say that I'm

too hard-edged, but there is nothing wrong with that. Yeah, thank you.

Doesn't make me any less... That's just how I love. Yes!

Cheers!

And if my mom's ashes arrived from Thailand a year and a half late, why

can't I joke about scattering her in Caesar's Palace?

To everyone who shows their love in weird ways.

Fresh glasses

for all.

It's time to hit the good stuff.

Come with me, newbie.

Whoa. Hello, Mission Impossible.

My business partner's married to a security expert.

We got a deal.

Wow, that was cool.

Help yourself to anything here.

Except in there.

Oh, how about this one?

You don't mess around, Winnie.

How is everyone enjoying their meal?

Because if it was up to Captain Culinary here, we'd be eating snails and robed in

edible foam.

So if you like those sliders, be grateful I won the arm wrestle.

Those sliders give everyone food poisoning. Shh, no commentary.

Speaking of my new husband, well, I never thought there'd be something that

he would love more than his car.

But now that we are joined in holy matrimony, I know there is something

that he loves more. His hair products.

Oh, that's why you said it got lost in the move.

You're not a fan of the roast?

Roasting is for your hockey buddies in the locker room. This was our wedding.

Would it have killed her to say one nice thing?

Roasting's Angie's love language.

I mean, she's nuts about you.

Yeah, I know.

Oh, like mother, like daughter.

Don't let Angie hear you say that.

No, Mochi, stay. One last temple for all. We'll be in our Ubers by midnight.

No, I'm done.

Let's play never have I ever. Oh, my God, are you in high school?

Come on, Mochi, don't be a chicken.

Okay, here we go. Never have I ever been called

intimidating. Fine.

Okay.

Never have I ever wanted to punch someone for asking, when are you going

to get married?

Yes!

I can't wait for everybody to ask me that question on Friday night.

Except Popo. That's because she knows you don't believe in the construct of

marriage. You're her favorite.

Facetiming her every week, always asking what her childhood was like.

It's a fascinating snapshot into Chinese history, which you would appreciate if

you'd actually paid attention in Mandarin school. I paid attention.

Whatever.

Okay, okay. Let me go again.

Never have I ever meddled in a family member's love life. Oh, come on. Who

hasn't?

I think I did that wrong. Does it still count if I'm the one whose love life is

being meddled with?

Now we're all curious.

It was my dad. About George.

Wait, what does that mean?

He called me out of the blue to say that George isn't right for me. Our George?

Our brother's a catch.

I know. It's just I don't think he really liked when George said he only

read ten books in his life.

Audiobooks count.

Your dad's got issues.

Calm down, Mochi.

Mr. Todd was just being protective.

Does he still feel this way?

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no. I'll get your hair.

Oh, help.

This way, this way.

We can make it.

Go, go.

Bottoms up.

Why is the sun so bright?

Lines are closed, sweetheart.

We can't let our sweet baby boy see mommy like this.

Ugh.

So where does that leave us? Good question.

The only person who would have had a problem with the engagement is Colette's

dad. The Mattress King, but how would he know about the proposal?

Colette said he wanted her to break it off. Maybe he found out?

What was his name again?

Ernie.

Look who had a reservation at 4.30.

D for Dodd.

No force in the galaxy can beat these sails.

Oh, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

Are you nodding off? How can you nod in these things?

Because we're on a case.

I survived this hangover, we are.

Comfortable, aren't they? Superior frame design, plush, no stain upholstery. I

can get you an interstellar deal on one of our floor models.

Oh, man, we're just looking.

Or maybe you're after one of our famous mattresses. You know, our memory foam is

out of this world.

You know what, Ronald?

We really just want to meet Mr. Dodd. Oh, yeah, we love his commercials. Big

fans. I'm afraid he's in character right now. You can't interrupt the process.

I'll make you a deal. You make the introduction, we'll buy one of these

recliners. Your decision is mission approved, sir.

You won't regret this.

Mr. Dodd, these very special customers are keen on meeting you.

I'll go write up that order.

How are you doing?

Hi there. Hi.

I can't believe I'm meeting the Mattress King. I've seen all your commercials.

Could I get your autograph?

Anything for a thing.

Okay.

Angie. To Angie.

Angie. Can you spell that for me?

A-N-G-I-E. Okay.

Match 80% positive.

The robot has spoken.

Ernie broke the seal on that box.

So the mattress king is our thief.

Not for the hard part. Telling our sweet client his future father-in-law

sabotaged his proposal.

You think George is a crier?

Let's make sure we have tissues.

Well, that was an interesting reaction.

I did not expect George to laugh hysterically at the idea of Mr. Dodd

having it out for him. He did have a good point. Why would Mr.

Dodd hire his future son-in-law to write jingles for his store if he hated him?

A mattress so firm and tight with a price that's out of sight.

Okay, for the sake of our marriage, please stop.

So, plan B, you think it'll work? When has this guy ever failed us? Maybe we

should have told George that we're bugging this flash drive case.

No way. The less he knows, the better. Once this is on Ernie's desk, we'll have

ears inside the office and we'll know the truth.

Like if he bad-moused George or where he hid the ring.

It's a two-for-one deal. We find out at the stakeout.

I'm very, very glad you did.

Dude, you're still watching our wedding video? Yeah. I haven't seen you roasting

Angie yet. Perfect timing.

When I told my friends that I'd proposed to Angie, no one was surprised.

It's ironic, right?

A couple of PIs were the only two people who couldn't see they'd end up together.

But I'm glad we took the scenic route.

It meant we got to become best friends first.

And building a life with your best friend?

That's word for wave.

Dude,

I would marry you.

You're not my type.

It's almost five.

Ernie will be expecting that flash drive.

Yeah.

So far, this is useless.

Well, at least we can hear something.

Even if it is an off-key rendition of Give My Regards to Broadway.

I told Will to put the video away.

It's fine.

He loves that stuff.

It's weird seeing Nora again.

Tell me about it.

You know she kept the tags on that dress?

What am I going to do with her ashes?

Even dead, that woman picks away at my subconscious.

Before she did, you guys were FaceTiming pretty regularly.

Only because she wanted a second opinion on getting a chin lift.

No, you're right. We were.

And the next time I hear about her, it's from a coroner in Thailand.

She never even got to meet Dax.

Well, think of a place she loved.

The track?

Should I fly to Toronto and scatter at the finish line?

So much I got wrong with her. What if I screw this up, too?

Thanks for calling me back.

He's on the phone. The proposal never happened, so this is an opportunity.

Meet me here after closing.

Meet? For what? To sell the ring?

We need real food.

This is gonna be a long night.

Angie,

we got action.

The hell's this guy up to? And with who?

He didn't lock the door.

You must be Mrs. Xiao.

First question.

Did either of you spend time on the recliners over there?

You know what? Don't answer that.

Do Colette and George know about you two? Of course not. Ernie and I agreed

our dalliances would stop the moment our children were engaged.

That's why the ring went missing? A stall tactic?

What missing ring?

Ernie, your thumbprint is on the seal. You were in that walk-in fridge.

Where'd you put it? But my son has the ring. He pushed the proposal when

Colette got sick. What are they talking about?

It's true.

When you let slip, George was about to propose.

I didn't want our relationship to end. I wanted a few more precious days with

you. So you stole my mother's ring?

You foolish, foolish man.

I reserved a table, and I snuck into the walk-in. I was planning to stash the

ring for a while, but when I opened the box to take it, it was already gone.

Wait, if you're telling the truth, then the ring was stolen before the box was

sealed. But I sealed that box myself. I know the ring was inside it. What did

you do with the box after you sealed it? I was...

At home.

Sleeping. But I assure you, it was secure.

Couldn't have been that secure if someone opened and resealed it. How?

That double happiness stamp is a custom seal.

One of a kind.

So we're looking at this wrong. Not just the timeline, but the location.

The ring wasn't stolen from the restaurant. The ring was stolen from

your house.

You told my mom?

What happened to client-patient confidentiality? We didn't tell her

anything. It was Mother's intuition.

Damn it.

That tracks.

You should have told me the truth, Mom.

At least now we know the ring was stolen from inside this house.

When's the last time you saw the ring in the sealed box?

I gave it to him Saturday morning after I took it out of my hiding spot. I told

you. It's very secure.

Your underwear drawer is your secure hiding place?

Holy crap.

Xiao had braces.

And proudly.

Look at that smile.

Ah, here we are.

Old school deodorant? That's where I hit the ring box.

And then you fell asleep?

Yes. At 10 p.m. That is exactly what I did. You get a lot of sleep, Mom.

You're going to live forever.

So, between 10 p.m. on Friday and when George took the ring to the restaurant

on Saturday, someone stole the ring from here and resealed the box.

Was anyone else in the house during that time?

Violet came to take Mom shopping on Friday. Winnie stopped by, but they were

both gone by 5.

Popo's plane is landing soon.

If she finds out that I lost her ring, she's gonna have a heart attack.

I'll be worse than a doe head. I'll be a murderer.

This one was always so dramatic.

Yeah. Ours is still in the cute phase.

Enjoy it. Once they get older, they leave you for their own lives.

I make excuses to keep them close.

A mom never stops wanting to be a part of her kid's life.

So, um, who else has keys to your house?

Only my kids.

Both sisters would know about Mimi's secret place upstairs, and both visited

on Friday.

Yeah, but Chow works doubles on Saturday, and she was on duty at the

time of the theft.

Which leaves Winnie. But why would she want the ring?

Winnie's all about family and culture, and that ring represents both.

Winnie had lunch with Denise last week. Maybe she heard about the proposal from

her? How do you figure she got past her mother's porch camera?

I dropped by earlier.

Leave myself a way back in.

Well?

No cameras here.

The door's unlocked.

Someone took out that dowel.

And there's an orchid. Shao said that's Winnie's go-to for scoring brownie

points. Looks like Winnie's our ring thief.

Hey, buddy, we're on our way. What's taking so long?

My family's all here.

Popo's pinching my cheeks, asking to meet Colette. You're gonna have to

stall. Tell me you found the ring.

Sorry, heading into a tunnel.

We need to tell Shao about Winnie. She'll never believe us. What if we're

wrong? She'll kill us both.

And she'll get away with it, too. She's major crimes.

What are we missing?

If I'm Winnie, where am I going to hide a family ring?

Not in my house, if Mom's got a set of keys and a lack of boundaries.

You're brilliant.

I think I know where she hid it. Can you drop me off somewhere?

I lost my earring here last night. Mind if I take a look?

Thank you.

I'm in.

Good, because they just finished dinner.

Keep an eye on Winnie.

Yeah, what am I, an amateur?

Tell me you have the ring.

Angie's taking care of it.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Good.

We're in trouble here.

Matt? Hello?

Matt? Hey. The mouthy one. Where is she? Who?

Don't even try that shtick with me, hockey boy.

Shtick? Hockey boy? There's a joke in there somewhere. Just give me a minute.

Wednesday, I bump into her at work. On Thursday, she shows up at my sister's

whiskey night. Now it's Friday and I run into you? I'm just here for the creme

brulee.

Maybe I'll take it to go.

I know you have a family.

You're not saying that in a threatening tone, and yet... I know you know how

important family is.

And whatever you two are up to, I don't want it to take away from my brother's

happiness. Wouldn't dream of it. This is the man who constantly causes my

department nightmares.

I just had a crazy close call with Chell.

I'm sweating like a beast.

You're sweating?

They're bringing out dessert. You need to get here like yesterday.

So stall them.

My tarts.

Oh, everything's ruined.

I'm so sorry about that.

They're still perfect.

Like everything you do.

So much for stalling. Where are the moves?

Maybe not.

Check,

check, check, check.

Hey. Hi, everybody.

My name is Matt Shade, former professional hockey player and author of

Beyond a Shadow, The Matt Shade Story.

No?

It's new.

Anyway, I'm here to welcome you to my favorite restaurant tonight.

How about that boeuf bourguignon, huh?

Yeah, a couple claps for the bourguignon, I'll take it.

Now, I know you're all excited about your dessert course, but first, can we

all just take a pause to let the boeuf settle?

And of course, nothing aids digestion more than a few hilarious stories from

my days in the league.

Damn it.

Like mother, like daughter.

And then there was that time that JoJo filled my hockey gloves with shaving

cream. Now, I had a plan to get even, but first I needed six rolls of duct

tape and two pounds of Velveeta.

Okay, well.

Looks like I'm done here.

But let me just tell you one final story.

This one's not about hockey. It's about love and how truly special it is when

you find that one person.

And how truly disgusting.

My wife, she calls me a food snob. Well, sorry, honey. I don't eat things off the

floor. I dropped an almond the other day. I didn't pick it up. I thought...

And you'll get that.

I mean, my wife is so food illiterate, she thinks Cassoulet is a game you play

in Vegas.

Seriously, I wouldn't change a thing about her.

And if you've ever felt that, that's what true love feels like.

Your sister Winnie had it.

Go show them you're not a toehead.

Make sure that goes to the right person.

Thank you.

Nice roast.

Thanks. Learn from the best.

You know, every time I bring up my wedding speech... Roast, but go on. You

brush it off.

Maybe I could have thrown in an I love you.

As long as you love me until the day I die, we'll call it even.

Test, test.

Hi, everyone.

Ni hao.

I'm George, obviously.

This ring has been through a lot.

It was passed down from Popo to my mom to me to propose with.

It survived a long history that I'm not good at explaining.

That's why I think that you go to the person that understands and respects

that better than anyone My sister Winnie The truth is is that

I'm not ready to get married yet, but when I am it'll be with the ring that I

choose The ring she chooses

Thank you

I totally forgive you for stealing the ring.

You stole the ring? Why should George have it just because he's getting

married? I love that ring.

It has a history that he'll never understand.

Well, I know it's the Qing Dynasty.

Or Ming.

Wait, is that why these two bozos are here? You hired them to find it? Why

didn't you come to me?

Because you would have blamed me like you always do. He's not the only one

with secrets.

Where were you Friday night, Mom?

She was with me.

We're in love.

Wait, wait, wait. Does that mean that I almost married my sister? You are such a

doughhead. I said quit calling me that.

What are you going to do? I'm going to do something.

The work here is done. You're a doughhead. Say it.

No. You're a doughhead. No.

This is for you.

For real this time. It's a triple iced Americano.

Bold, icy, unsweet.

Just like you.

Unsweet is the new power move. The point is, it's an apology coffee.

Point taken.

Now get out.

She didn't say thank you. She didn't murder us either. Let's take the win.

In the wise words of Mimi Xiao, a mother never stops wanting to be part of her

kid's life.

Maybe that's why you tried harder.

I mean, you didn't stick with it, but you were trying.

And maybe I could have embraced your unique brand of mothering a little bit

more.

Because weird is good.

Live long and furnish.

Aye, aye, Captain.

Act now before everything goes at the speed of light.

That was great.

Weird makes you take chances.

I heard you and George broke up, which is awesome because... I've been in love

with you since I got my first out of 18 employee of the month.

Weird connects people from different generations.

And maybe we could have met halfway.

Because sometimes, when you meet halfway, good things happen.

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Everything here is too good to be true.

Some of my fears are waiting for you.

And we're hanging around for a flash of the lightning strike.

In the shadow of doubt, I'm holding your hand in mine.

Tonight a half moon above is showing the way. As long as it's love, I think we're

doing okay.

Tonight I have known above is showing the way.

As long as there's love, I think we're doing okay.