Original subtitles

Check it out! It's a labyrinth of loosies!

Who doesn't want an impulse loosie?

Yeah.

Dad?

Dad.

You don't remember me, but yeah.

Dakota?

No.

Skylar?

Still no.

Leona?

Leona.

This is gonna be fucking good.

♪ 'Cause I can love you, baby ♪

♪ All night long... ♪

- Are you still on break? - Yeah, man.

I've combined today's break and tomorrow's break together.

I'm multi-breaking.

You look pretty relaxed

for a guy who's about to lose his girlfriend.

Excuse the fuck you?

Guess you didn't heard. Johnny Love Eyes is in town.

The Johnny Love Eyes? From the Lands Department?

The one and only.

You know what they say?

When he takes his sunglasses off,

anyone who meets his eyes...

...falls in love.

He's like a man Medusa.

A Man-dusa!

He took his glasses off around my last two girlfriends.

Took 'em both. Back to back like the Jays in the 90s.

Yeah, but Rose...

She's a professional.

I don't know, man.

He's gonna be spending an awful lot of time with her.

Rose isn't just gonna fall for someone who has dreamy eyes.

That's why she's with me. Classic shit brown.

So... you're not worried

Love Eyes is gonna give her the old 20/20?

No.

Where are you going then?

Nowhere.

Have fun at the band office.

Whatever, man!

Dean, what the fuck do I do?

Just go talk to her, bro.

Then she'll find out about all the shady shit I've done.

- Like Blackwater? - Fuck!

I forgot about Blackwater.

Never again.

Maybe I can distract her with something.

So you look a lot like your mom.

Lisa. - Caroline.

Uh, right. Um...

If this is about money...

Here's five bucks.

I don't need any money.

I'm here because I have a family of my own now

and my kids want to know about my dad.

You have kids?

So that makes me...

Cousin Grandpa Leon!

I told them you were the Indian

from The Indian in the Cupboard.

Oh, wait! I have that movie!

So you're some sort of Indigenous.

Half from you. My mom's Filipino.

I pretended to be a Filipino a million times!

Really?

Like when?

Nah, I shouldn't tell you about that kind of thing.

Oh, I got Indian on a Desk, Indian in the Closet...

Where the fuck is the cupboard?

You don't want to know me.

Just tell me. It's why I'm here.

All right, fine.

Whoa!

Indian in the Cupboard...

was in the cupboard!

That was PJ the DJ

with his highly controversial song, "Loopin' and Poopin'."

He'll be in Belgium next week headlining the...

... Ain't Easy Tour.

Since it's a slow news day,

we're gonna spin the Wheel of Hot Topics.

Oh, hydro worker.

My favourite topic.

They're always climbing up poles,

tapping into people's phones,

driving around in white vans.

Yet they stick to themselves.

Call in and tell me what they're really up to.

First time caller, never time listener.

I'm a hydro worker.

And maybe we're just,

oh, I don't know,

trying to give you electricity?

Why don't you come down here then

and we can debate this live on air?

Unless you're not allowed to leave your safe house.

Oh. I'll be right over.

Oh, you sweet, sweet wheel!

Well, Johnny, it's so good

to have you back in Grouse Lake.

Well, when the land calls, I answer.

The youth are looking for a site

for their new ceremonial space,

so we need to find just the right spot.

Love Eyes needs to get bare feet out in the dirt.

Only way to tell.

Okay, well, we'll just have to hike out there together

and see it in person.

This is a good spot right here.

Very, very sacred.

Good map eyes, Rose.

Love Eyes knows good eyes

when Love Eyes sees 'em.

There's a lot of space here.

It's good that you're coming out on the site visit.

The land gives so much, I'd hate to take it in alone.

Don't mind me!

Just here for...

waterman business.

Let me top you up.

- That's my coffee. - That is also coffee.

Look at this! No biggie,

just a picture of my loving family

that we carefully crafted over the years.

Okay, thanks, Paul. That will be all. Good enough.

Fine, babe, but when I go,

you just remember me for everything that I've done,

like, uh...

just remember all that st-- - Go!

I'm gonna leave the door open, okay?

- Close it. - I'm gonna close it.

So is this, like, where you were born? Or...

Nah, bro.

Babies aren't born in fields.

Mostly hospitals.

Was that in Winnipeg?

Or was it... - Never mind me.

I took you here to tap into your Indigenous side.

Our people have much in common.

We're both brown.

Yeah, for sure.

We both fish under bridges and live in bad neighbourhoods.

Yeah, I guess so.

We all love the VLTs.

You got me there.

That's why I brought you here.

To tap into your Indigenous side.

It's not something you can teach,

it's something you must feel.

And as a proud Ojibwe,

the deadliest of all Creator's children,

we have a power over the wind.

The sky.

And the earth.

Just watch me.

See that shit?

Okay, wow. Impressive.

But I-- - Now it's your turn.

That shit is inside of you too, you know?

- Uh... - Wide stance.

Chest out. Shoulders back. And feel the deadly.

Okay, sure.

Oh. A seagull.

Pretty deadly?

Not everyone gets it on the first try.

Just a reminder, stop being so deadly.

You're attracting too many eagles

and they're attacking our rabbit snares.

Ooh, ooh! Guess what?

Our tough-guy hydro worker just walked in.

I can't wait to tear him a new...

♪ I can't believe ♪

♪ My fuckin' eyes ♪

♪ I wanna shack up with you ♪

Excuse me.

Right. Right.

Oh. Hydro worker. What was I saying again?

You were trashing my livelihood.

That doesn't sound like me.

It looks like you got a caller.

Huh.

What are you doing? Give that hydro worker heck!

Well. Go ahead. Give me heck.

do you think I would throw everything away

for Johnny Love Eyes?

It's not you, baby! It's his eyes.

That's why he wears the glasses.

Yeah, but what if they accidentally fall off?

They're not falling off. And trust me,

if he's making love to anybody, it's the land.

He really loves the land.

Are you sure?

Do you really think I would leave you and PJ

for some guy with a chain wallet?

I don't know. Maybe.

There's nothing to worry about, I swear.

Fine. If you mean it, then I'm the one that's sorry.

- So you promise not to worry? - I promise.

Good, 'cause I'll be out all day tomorrow

with Johnny Love Eyes.

What?

We'll be hiking to a cabin in the woods with a fireplace

and a bear-skin rug

and the fridge is stocked with mini Babybels.

But there's nothing to worry about. It's fine.

Everything's fine.

Where are you going?

Oh, just to our soundproof hallway. I'll be right back.

Holy fuck, I'm so fucked!

Love Eyes is gonna steal Rose from me!

I'm so fucked! I'm fucked,

I'm fucked, I'm fucked, I'm fucked, I'm fucked!

How did culturing go, bro?

Still working on that whole inner deadliness thing.

Oh man, but that's easy!

Nice, man.

So you're still distracting her, eh?

Got some daddy-daughter stuff planned.

I think she just wants to get to know you, bro.

You're not a dad, Dean. You wouldn't get it.

Leona?

Tea time.

A tea party?

I didn't come here for eagles and tea parties.

This was a bad idea.

Leona, wait!

Whoa.

essed with .

I'm scared of my own bellybutton.

That's beautiful.

Oh God, look at me, I've been yapping your ears off all night.

Oh, that's a handsome thing to say.

Let's take another call.

Wait. We're still on the air?

Yeah, totally.

Yeah, I'm wondering what kind of grown man

is scared of his own bellybutton?

Rita, be nice.

You guys have been talking all night.

We missed bingo!

Doesn't this...

...have a job?

This...

...does have a job. It's already morning.

I gotta go.

Do you seriously think I would throw everything away

for Johnny Love Eyes?

It's not you, baby! It's his eyes.

It's his eyes!

Oh, Johnny!

He really loves the land.

You can have as many wieners as you want, Johnny Love Eyes!

I love your chain wallet.

Paul always loses his wallet.

You'll never lose yours.

That's it! I'm going over there!

Fuck, where's my wallet?

Okay, well, I thought I'd say goodbye.

What, already?

I think I got everything I needed from this trip.

Okay. Fine then.

Bye, I guess?

Classic awkward silence.

The type of silence that happens when things are left unsaid.

Leona, you wanted more

than a cultural exchange and superficiality.

You don't even know what that means!

And you, Cousin Grandpa Leon,

so consumed with shame from your past

that you're afraid to connect for fear of rejection.

What? Is that true?

If you could see past your short-sightedness,

you would see that Leona's not here to judge you,

but to embrace your shadiness.

Is that true? Of course it is!

You two can reconnect.

Let's go, Leona.

It's time you learn about the real me.

That was Lovey McLoverson and the Lovers

with "Lovers Be Loving."

Now, let's give the old wheel another spin.

Hydro workers again!

Should radio DJs from the rez

be dating hydro workers from the government?

Ho-lee, Roger.

You've been talking about this guy all damn day!

Oh, I'm not sure if that's true.

Just get off your arse and go talk to him already!

But we're from two different worlds, Louise.

He's a government guy.

What if he-- Just go!

You there! Run the station until I get back.

Okay.

So Grouse Lake, what the fuck is up?

This is my BCR site.

Didn't always have that sweet job at Yeah Man.

Before that, I was out here on my own,

after I got kicked off the rez.

One time was for election fraud.

Would have become chief if it wasn't for some pesky head lice.

- You were almost chief? - Another time,

I opened an illegal speakeasy out of a guy's garage.

The rigged VLTs brought in quite a bit of money.

No kidding.

The longest I ever spent out here was for...

What?

You can tell me.

Was for rummaging.

Wait. You were a rummager?

You're never not a rummager.

My son Donny's a rummager.

I catch that kid going through my purse almost every day.

Look.

I was young when I met your mom.

Couldn't stick around.

Would have just rummaged your life.

I was frustrated for so long.

Not knowing who you are.

Why you left.

I can't be ashamed.

Really?

The way I see it,

he lived off the land.

Illegal speakeasy?

You're an entrepreneur.

And election fraud?

Meh. That's just politics.

When you put it like that...

And thanks for being honest.

It's all I really wanted...

Cousin Leon.

Call me Dad.

Dad Cousin Grandpa Leon.

So, uh...

there's still time before your plane leaves.

You want to do some daddy-daughter shit?

Fuckin' rights, I do.

Let's go!

This would make the perfect ceremonial space.

The second side is a bit of a hike,

we should probably get at it.

Hold on there, Rose. Love Eyes is cramping.

Take your time. I'll have a snack.

Ah, there she is.

Rowe's Menthol Warming Cream.

Cool and hot, always hits the spot.

Oh yeah.

Rowe's. So hot, Rowe's.

I love me some Rowe's!

Shit!

The magic Rowe's!

Yeah!

Oh, that's fucking it!

My Rowe's!

What the hell are you doing here?

Hey, you two have fun daddy-daughter broing?

Yeah, we shot some hoops, went fishing under a bridge.

Some solid cross-culture bonding.

Except she wouldn't share

any of her Filipino beading tips with me.

Oh!

You wouldn't share any of yours!

Beading wars! Oh.

Well, I better get going.

Already?

Yeah. Gotta catch my plane.

Not dressed like that, young lady!

We're wearing the same thing.

You're grounded!

Go to your room!

Is he crying?

Yup. Salty.

Those are real tears.

You filthy little homewrecker!

My chain wallet!

Nothing's happening, you idiot!

Tell that to my imagination!

Look what you've done!

Oh!

Johnny Love Eyes...

I'm a monster! You hear me? A monster!

And don't talk to strangers!

And, uh...

look both ways before swimming an hour after eating.

You mixed that up, but whatever.

And the government are made up of secret lizard men.

Yep.

Oh, watch this.

That's my girl!

It was great to meet you, Dad.

Proud of you...

I don't know, Dean.

Seeing Leona felt like the missing piece.

To what?

To the Cousin Leon puzzle.

I got a lot of kids out there.

11 of them.

And I need to be part of their lives.

So what are you saying?

This cousin needs to go be a dad.

Oh...

Huh.

What?

There. You're free.

So you weren't trying to do the nasty with my Rose?

I know you've heard the stories.

Yes, they're all true.

So you did take Willie's girlfriends.

Back to back, like the Blue Jays in the 90s.

Cool.

It's not cool! It's a burden.

Imagine having to sleep with everyone you have ever seen.

My...

...doesn't even work anymore.

It's just dead weight.

If I would have known that earlier,

I wouldn't have even came all the way here.

You think I wear these sunglasses 'cause they're cool?

I wear them to protect you from having sex with me.

That's beautiful, Johnny Love Eyes.

I wear the chain wallet 'cause it's cool.

Of course, yeah.

Andre! There you are.

Hey Roger, what's up?

I want to know,

when we were together last night,

did you feel a spark?

Yeah, I did.

But what are we gonna do?

Look at us.

We are two different people

from two different worlds who-- - But it fits.

I work at a radio station that's powered by electricity.

And I work for Hydro.

We go together like...

A plug and a socket.

Roger, even so, I live up in those poles.

It's not an easy life.

I like poles.

Okay.

I'm gonna be gone for a while. I'll see you when I come down.

Yeah, whatever.

It's a good thing his powers didn't last, though, eh?

Okay, I guess, if anything,

it's nice that he's not still in our heads.

Agreed.

Love Eyes.

difuze