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Are you a nostalgic person?

Um, yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

Are you?

Yeah.

I just wonder what purpose it serves.

♪ I tried to do everything for you ♪

♪ But what did you do?

♪ Girl, you told me that we were through ♪

♪ We were through

♪ I tried to make you so happy ♪

♪ In every way that I could

♪ But, girl, you fooled around until I caught you ♪

Hi.

I'm Charlie.

I know.

You...?

We went to high school together.

Conroy. Fifth period English.

You were the teacher's aide.

Yeah. Uh, yeah. I mean, I remember the class.

I just... - Um...

I made fun of your Kenny Rogers obsession.

Oh, my God. We burned CDs for each other.

Yeah.

Oh, my God, I totally remember you.

I came over here and I was, like, all...

Hannah, right?

- Harper. - Harper!

Yes. Harper Owens.

Yeah. Okay. Wow, I...

You know, I still listen to some of those songs.

Well, you-- you gave me one.

A CD with-- with just one song on it.

- I did? - Mm-hmm.

And you said I should only listen to it once,

so I wouldn't lose the thing that made it special.

Huh.

Do you remember what song it was?

Yeah. I do.

♪ Girl, I'm gonna give you just one more chance ♪

I knew that's why you were talking to the DJ.

I was trying to be cool.

I didn't want it to be too obvious.

♪ Break it to me gently

♪ Let me down the easy way

♪ Make me feel that you still love me ♪

So, what do you think?

♪ If it's just for one more day ♪

Did you listen to it too much, Harper?

♪ Break it...

Yeah.

You still love it, though?

♪ If you must go...

Hey.

Hey.

You know, I've got a shoe box like this.

I always feel like I should throw mine away.

Really?

Why?

So, what's the whole story?

How did you and Harper meet?

We met a couple times, actually.

- A million dollars. - You hear this?

Bro, a million dollars, you can't land this.

I bet you a million dollars you can't land this shit.

I bet you a million dollars. - Alright, alright.

Set this up. Watch this. - A million dollars.

Kick-flip for a milli.

How do you turn this on?

Ohh!

...in the depths of winter

cannot end on this autumn night.

This victory alone is not the change we seek.

It is only the chance for us to make that change.

Nah, I just need a cool wife, dude.

Mnh-mnh, bro. I'm never getting married.

What are you talking about? Never?

I'm too untethered, bro.

- What? You're too untethered? - I'm peak me.

I'm peak me untethered right now.

Okay, so what are you gonna do?

I'mma walk the earth.

Like Khan. What?

No! - Like Khan.

No, it's Caine. It's Caine.

- It's Khan. - Khan is "Star Trek."

- Caine is "Pulp Fiction." - It's Khan!

- It's Caine! - Charlie.

Caine's from "Kung Fu."

You both are idiots. - Ohh!

That's not even what he was say--

That's not what you were talk--

You gotta be the dumbest fucking person

I ever met in my whole life.

Wait, so what are we doing?

Uh, Stefanie and those girls are having some people over.

Who's Stefanie?

Powers. Tanya's little sister.

Um, she's, uh, friends with Courtney Gardner

and that chick Harper...

Harper Owens?

Yeah. You know her?

Kinda.

I don't know.

I don't want to go to some high school party.

Whoa! They graduated. They graduated.

Yeah, but we used to rip on dudes who did that all the time,

and you're always coming up with these

elaborate plans to get laid. - What elab--

We always end up right back at your house...

I'm talking about a party.

I'm just talking about a party.

Okay, well, what do you think?

- I'm down. - Hell yeah, he's down!

Look around, bro.

The whole fucking world is horny tonight.

Barack Obama is president.

That means anything is possible.

Yewwww!

Think I have an ugly smile?

No, seriously.

'Cause I feel like...

Listen, my mom says I smile with no teeth.

She thinks it's weird,

but I think it's creepy to smile with teeth

because I have really weird teeth.

No, honestly, honestly, I like your smile.

- What? - I think you look...

♪ Treat you like my sticky-icky or my sweet ooey-gooey ♪

♪ You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling ♪

♪ And ooh-wee it's the ultimate feeling ♪

♪ You got me lifted, feeling so gifted ♪

♪ Suga, how you get so fly?

♪ Suga, suga, how you get so fly? ♪

♪ Suga, suga, how you get so fly? ♪

♪ Suga, suga, how you get so fly? ♪

♪ Suga, suga, how you get so... ♪

♪ You make me holla

♪ Ass so big, make me wanna follow ♪

♪ Take it off, girl, get these dollas ♪

♪ Turn around, let me see the boombada ♪

♪ Take it off, girl, you make me holla ♪

♪ Ass so big, make me wanna follow ♪

♪ A, B, C, and to the D

♪ Put on a show like you on TV

♪ Can you do things make me look in your eyes ♪

Hi.

Hey.

You want to play something?

No, uh...

I-I'm Charlie.

I-I was a teacher's aide for Conroy your junior year.

The English teacher?

Yeah.

Uh...

You don't remember me?

No. Sorry.

Oh, you seem sad.

Did you have a little crush on me?

No. No.

Well, uh, yeah.

I mean, I thought I... - You did?

I-I just-- I thought

that you would remember me. - What?

I thought that you would remember me.

Um, it's all good. No worries. It's...

Sorry.

♪ I'm single and came here to mingle this evening ♪

♪ Break it...

Have you been listening to it?

♪ Let me down the east way

I'm not going to college.

Why not?

School always made me feel dumb.

What do you want to do?

I want to cook.

Cook?

Yeah, I want to be a chef.

I love, like, food as art.

Food as expression.

I love thinking about the way

a dish is gonna make someone feel.

You know, like, the way ingredients work together.

That's cool.

What kind of restaurant do you want to open?

A great one.

Like, the best.

Will you cook something for me sometime?

Fuck.

What?

Uh...

I forgot my keys.

- Seriously? - Yeah, but, um...

I'm gonna boost you up, okay?

Alright. I need to, like... - Help me!

...fully grab your ass to make this work.

Okay. This was your plan all along.

Busted.

How'd you do that?

So, what about you?

Why didn't you go to college?

I don't know.

Just didn't really feel like me, I guess.

What do you want to do?

You know, I asked people about you.

In high school.

What'd you find out?

Well, everyone said you were shy, which I obviously knew.

And they said you lived with your dad.

Yeah. I mean, my parents split up,

and then just ended up with my dad.

- What's he like? - He's cool.

You know, just, like, lets me do what I want.

He's like more of a roommate than a dad at this point.

That's cool.

What about your mom?

She, uh...

She lives in Portland, and...

she's a psychic.

Really?

I mean, no, but that's what she does for money.

What else did you learn?

That you read.

That you read like three books a week.

Is that true? - No.

They're, like, dime-store novels.

It's escapist.

I don't know, like, Chaucer or whatever.

Poems?

Those can be escapist, too.

"Having a Coke with You."

Will you read it?

No.

Come on. - No.

- Come on. - No!

You can't-- You can't be like, "Oh, I read poetry"

and then, like, not walk the walk.

Oh, my God. No. No, no, no, I'm not reading it.

Okay. I'll walk out of here right now.

Can I use the door?

Or are you gonna throw me out the window?

Okay. Alright, alright, alright.

Gimme that.

"Having a Coke with You," by Frank O'Hara.

Read by Charlie.

Yeah, well, not well.

"Having a Coke with you

is even more fun than going to San Sebastian,

Irún, Hendaye,

Biarritz, Bayonne,

or being sick to my stomach

on the Traversée de Gracia in Barcelona."

It sounds a lot better in my head

when I imagine myself pronouncing all the words right.

It's okay.

"Partly because in your orange shirt

you look like a better, happier St. Sebastian.

Partly because of my love for you.

Partly because of your love for yoghurt.

Partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips

around the birches.

Partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on

before people and statuary.

As solemn, as unpleasantly definitive as statuary

when right in front of it,

in the warm New York four o'clock light,

we are drifting back and forth between each other

like a tree breathing through its spectacles."

So, what was it like?

The what? The...?

Yeah.

Um...

Yeah, it was...

I mean, it was really good.

It felt like we'd always been in love.

I just didn't know what love would turn into

five years later.

...if you're watching how your planned attack is going

and you haven't even gotten your sledgehammer head

through Belgium yet, so you're still a ways away

from your attack doing anything,

but you've got things starting to collapse around you...

Oh, my God. C-Can we listen to something else?

You don't want to learn about World War I?

No. I don't.

Okay. But...

Okay, we're learning about a battle

with more fatalities in a single week...

- I don't care. - ...than all of the Americans

who died during the Vietnam War. - I don't care about those men.

I don't care about Vietnam either.

I don't know these people.

Okay, imagine starting a war

with 19th-century military tactics

and then confronting, for the first time,

20th-century weapons. - Yeah, I know.

I just listened to the same thing as you.

Watch how every flip of the coin so far...

Alright. Fine.

Thank you.

♪ There's no place I'd rather be now ♪

♪ So fucking sad all the time now ♪

Are you serious?

Sorry.

No, no, I just listened to four hours

of Hardcore History for Bros and you can't give me

four bars of a song? - I'm sorry. Fuck.

Just put your wispy ghost lady back on.

Hi. Can we do 30 on four?

Sure. Anything else?

Um, and these...

And, um...

Yeah. That's it.

Hey, will you do me a favor this weekend?

What?

Will you take it easy on the drinking?

Right. Um...

I don't know what that means, but...

I'm not saying don't drink.

I'm just saying, like...

What bothers you about my drinking?

It's...

It's just not fun.

Like, even for you, it's not fun.

Well, it's not fun when I'm with you,

because you're mad about the drinking.

It's fun when I'm with other people.

Listen, you don't want to fight,

then this is something you can do.

We never used to talk to each other like that.

It's like we were happier when we had nothing but each other.

Oh, my God, Charlie, can you not?

I got it. No, no, no, no.

I just, I want to document.

What are we... Where are we right now?

- We're in NOLA. - We're in NOLA.

We're in NOLA, baby.

We're starting our new life.

- Okay, well... - I'm gonna zoom.

- No photos. - No, stop! Don't be shy.

When we moved to New Orleans, I had this idea in my head

of what everything would be like.

I'm trying, okay?

Okay. One, two, three.

This is not gonna go in at this angle.

No, it is. Wedge.

- No, it's not. - It is!

We'd live at the top of an old building on Frenchmen

with these, like, tall windows and an ornate balcony.

Charlie made us pull over

so we could get these for his bookshelf.

Yeah, well, now we don't have to buy a shelf, so...

We will totally be buying a shelf.

I'd be head chef at the hottest pop-up in the city,

the star up-and-comer.

Okay, so who wants to start

with the Blazin' Cajun Creole Meal?

With Charlie,

you got the sense that he could do anything.

He was so smart.

I feel like you're cutting a lot.

You're making me nervous.

Just carry on reading. I'm enjoying it.

...where all the work gets done.

It's the industrial side.

I imagined him starting this magazine or quarterly

that everyone would read,

and then everyone would see what I saw...

This sensitive, thoughtful man.

Just a touch. That's perfect.

Is that alright?

He's the type of person

who could listen to people talk about things

he knew everything about, and he wouldn't say a word,

like he was embarrassed by how much he knew.

...which makes you an actual war criminal.

- It's war we're talking about. - Oh, my God.

You're a war criminal. - What are you supposed to do?

Just like Bush.

I pictured us as these, like,

young, modern cosmopolitans, you know?

Not quite how it turned out, huh?

No.

Somehow, it was even better.

Ow!

Fuck! - Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God. - Shit!

Oh, my God.

- Can you help me? - What do I do?

- Can you help me? - Fuck. Um...

- Charlie! - Aah!

Hey, would you still love me if I had no legs?

I barely love you now.

Yeah, but, like, if I could do, like, cool tricks and shit.

You know, like this.

Whoa! - Charlie!

Now, you might be emotional for a couple of days.

You have a concussion. - Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I think I can feel that.

Harper. No. Stop.

Aww, baby.

It's like everything was worse than I had pictured...

but better than I could have possibly imagined.

What happened?

Do you actually believe in this?

Do you?

The Tower.

Whoa.

Yeah, that's actually, like, kind of spot on.

It's like...

the future.

Like, fear of the future.

Really? I feel like that should be yours.

No. No, no, no.

What do you mean, "No, no, no"?

I'm The Moon.

What's The Moon?

Fear of the past.

So...

is there something in your future

that you're worried about?

I guess in the future, anything's possible.

But I don't want anything to be possible.

I just want one thing to be possible.

Makes sense.

You like control.

No, I don't.

- I'm not controlling. - Well...

- Oh, my God. Take it back. - Uh, no.

Take it... Say it! Take it back!

- No! - Say it. I'm not controlling.

- Say it. - Okay, okay, okay.

Alright, alright. You're not controlling.

- Mm-hmm. - You're not controlling.

- Thank you. - But...

...you do like control.

It's not a bad thing.

It's, like, just part of who you are.

It's what makes you a good chef.

Yeah, but I'm not a chef. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, but you will be.

That's what I'msaying.

You, like...

You see what you want so clearly.

You, like...

You manifest it.

Yeah, but everybody does that.

I don't think that's true.

I think people like you think it's true

because you do it so easily.

But I think it's actually kind of rare.

That's you?

Mm-hmm.

What about your future?

What does the future look like when you're a moon?

Mm. I don't know.

Um...

I think there's a part of me

that, like, looks at you,

and I want that, too--

like, to pursue my interests and go to school.

But...

But...?

But I don't know. It's like...

I feel like people who pursue more

tend to pursue more forever,

and it just feels kind of...

...hedonistic.

Hedonistic?

Yeah.

Do you think I'm hedonistic?

Kinda, yeah.

No, but I like it on you.

I just...

I don't know.

I wonder if, for me, it's just better to, like...

...be content.

Mm.

Well, I don't understand that.

I think you can be content andpursue your interests.

I guess I'm a "hedon" or whatever.

You Harper?

You staged at Harbor 21?

For six weeks.

And another month at Bourbon & Rye.

This is my wife, Claire.

She's my partner, and she runs the floor.

- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Have you ever actually

worked in a kitchen,

or do you just stage like this as a hobby?

Yeah, no, I've worked in a kitchen before.

- Where? - It wasn't in New Orleans.

I'm from Florida. - That's fine. Where?

- Oceanside? - No, not...

What restaurant did you work in?

...Ch-Chili's?

Okay.

Okay. Come in tomorrow at 2:00.

I say two-- I mean 1:30, to get changed,

have a smoke, whatever.

In here at 2:00, prepping.

Th-Thank you!

And we're probably gonna call you Chili's for a while.

Yeah, that-- that's fine. That's fine.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

- Tomorrow at 2:00. - Yeah, 1:30. 1:30. Okay!

♪ It's not like we see the same things ♪

♪ Even though we're both human beings ♪

♪ I can send my love to show just what we are ♪

♪ I really think a phase is an easy way to put it ♪

♪ I really think I'm crazy

♪ I just can't seem to get through this thing ♪

Oh! Oh, my God!

♪ I fall through, didn't even see you ♪

♪ I'm going so fast now

For you.

For you, for you, for you.

- Oh, thank you. - For you.

- Oh, what? - For you.

- Why? - Harper makes $30,000 a year.

This means nothing to me. - Charlie!

Charlie, this is Jade, the bartender from Harvard.

Oh, shit. Jade! What's up?

Yo, I've heard so much about you.

No, no, no, I've heard so much about you.

Yeah, uh... Oh. This is for you.

What are you drinking? - Everything.

Yeah! Whoo!

Okay. Shots of everything!

To my fucking girlfriend,

who's gonna be a genius chef.

- Yeah! - Whoo!

- Oh, my God. - Another round!

Oh, God, I shouldn't.

- Yeah! - Yeah!

- Whoo! - Oh, my God.

I feel like history doesn't even happen anymore.

Yes. Yes. 100%.

Wait, wait. Let's pause for a second.

Let's figure out what the fuck you guys are talking about.

'Cause I'm confused. - That's so big.

Because I am...

What are you talking about?

♪ You know just how to break me down ♪

♪ You're talking in my face

♪ But I can hardly hear the sound ♪

♪ You make me wanna burn, burn, burn this city to the ground ♪

♪ You make me wanna...

- Oh, shit. - Oh, look at this fucking guy.

Are you good? - Oh, yeah.

- Okay, let me go. Let me go. - No, we...

- Heyyy! - Okay, okay.

Where are we going? Where are we going?

Um, tacos!

No. We have to go home.

No! Tacos!

- You said tacos. - Carnitas!

- Yes! - Carnitas!

- Yes! - Queso!

- Yes! Queso! - Yeah.

Shit!

Mmph. What's going on?

- Oh, shit. - Harper?

Harp?

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

- Okay. - Thank you.

I'm sorry I'm late, Chef. I got stuck in--

I don't care. You're fired.

Hey. I'm serious. Go home!

No, no.

Grab a broom, start sweeping the prep stations.

But he just fired me.

Just put this on and don't look at him.

Hands!

Fire two duck, two salmon.

Two salmon, two duck. Yes, Chef.

Now we have five VIP on 2122.

Hey. Where are your bell peppers?

I'm all out, Chef.

We're in the middle of service.

What do you mean you're out of bell peppers?

I'm sorry, Chef.

Hey, you! Chili's!

I need a pint of bell pepper brunoise-- now!

- Need those bell peppers! - Coming up!

- You're falling behind, Harper. - Sorry, Chef.

No, no. Like this.

Grip here. One motion.

Why are you in my kitchen if you don't know how to use a knife?

Sorry, Chef.

Faster.

Nope. There's a seed. Go again.

Waiting on those bell peppers!

Let's go!

Faster, Harper. Faster!

Yes, Chef.

It's okay, it's okay.

Ugh! I'm such a fucking failure.

No.

No, you're not.

Yeah, I am.

I thought I was fired.

Can't believe I showed up late like that.

What the fuck was I thinking?

It's okay.

Harper. - No, it's not.

I promise it's gonna be fine.

It's not fine.

I can't blow this.

I need to get serious.

We should get serious.

Would you do that?

Yeah.

Yeah, if that's what you want. Yeah.

Like, go out less, cut back on drinking?

I'm serious.

- Me, too. - Yeah?

- Yes. - You'll do that with me?

Harper, yes.

I'd do anything for you.

Sometimes I wonder if everything I remember is wrong.

If everything was different.

I would do anything for you.

Mwah, mwah! - Oh, Charlie! Charlie!

And the truth is somewhere between

the things that happened and the memories I have.

Or the memories I have

and the order that they occurred.

Harper showed me this thing once.

She had a hard time reading when she was young,

until an English teacher figured out

that she was dyslexic.

Read this.

- Just-- just read it? - Mm-hmm. Out loud.

Okay. Okay.

"As long as a word..."

She showed me that as long as the word includes

the right first and last letters,

you can pretty much scramble every letter in between

and still understand the meaning.

I think about that a lot,

looking back at the relationship.

I know how it started.

I know how it ends.

But when I think about the middle...

everything is scrambled.

I don't think your dad likes me.

- Why? - I don't know.

I think that...

he thinks that I'm the reason you're not going to school.

I decided that before we got together.

I know, but...

I don't know, I just...

...feel like I embody all the reasons

that you're not going.

To him, like...

...I'm all the mistakes you've ever made.

Ow! - You're not a mistake.

I want to tell him, "Don't worry.

She'll be back. She's just on vacation."

What does that mean?

- What? - I'm on vacation?

Just when you move to New Orleans.

He won't have to see me again after that.

You could come with me.

Hi!

Thanks for having us.

Charlie!

What acid did you use in this?

Yuzu with aji chili.

Mm, don't believe everything she's told you.

I promise I'm not that bad.

- Oh! - No, no.

No, no. She loves you guys.

Charlie, are these all your books?

I can't get over your bookshelf.

Oh, yeah.

Chef and Claire went to Princeton.

Claire majored in English.

Comparative literature, but, um...

It's super close. Same thing.

- Literature. Yeah. - Okay.

Yeah, I-I noticed your tattoo.

Is that a madeleine and teacup? - Yeah.

From "Swann's Way"?

Yeah, exactly. Wow.

Yeah, she's been-- no kidding--

waiting 20 years for someone to get that reference.

What do you do, Charlie?

Um, I work at a print shop.

Mm. Like, um... Like books?

Like publishing? - Oh, uh, no.

Like, um, T-shirts.

Oh. Very cool.

Yeah, but that-- that's obviously not the forever job.

Charlie is seriously the smartest person on the planet.

He's been thinking about going back to school recently.

Well, what are you thinking about studying?

Um, yeah, I-I don't know.

I-- I'm still kind of... still figuring all that out, but...

Hey, in the meantime, at least you've got someone

you can talk "Prowst" with, you know?

It's "Proust."

Are we sure?

I think so. I think so.

Hey, Charlie!

Come on, have a seat for me.

What's up, Randy?

I wanted to let you know

that I'm giving the manager's job to Eric.

I know he hasn't been here as long, and he's a bit younger.

You don't have to...

I get it.

You know why, right?

Charlie...

I've been sober for 20 years.

So, if you ever just want to talk, or...

You don't have to...

It's just at close,

you know, some guys have some beers...

I know. I know.

Sometimes it's before close, too, though, right?

I really like you, Charlie.

I mean, you're a really great kid.

Just not a very good man, though, right?

Not yet.

This is kind of a cool one.

Grant writing. - Yeah.

Says you need an understanding of systems

and a strong command of language.

Feels like you. - Yeah.

What do you think?

Um...

Grant writing doesn't sound that interesting to me, but...

No, I just mean, in general,

like, taking classes you areinterested in.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, well, the deadline's Friday.

You need to renew your license so you can prove residency.

Yeah, I'm gonna do that.

Hi. How are we?

Good. Um...

Ready to order?

Yeah. We're gonna do two miso soups.

The Kinoki Itame.

The Torotaku roll.

Hamachi. Albacore.

Tai Yuzu...

Yeah. That's it.

She knows how to order.

Yeah.

And to drink?

Just water for me.

Um, Sapporo. The big one.

Big Sapporo. Got it.

I'll be right back. - Thank you.

Thanks.

- So, you'll do that? - Mm?

- Renew your license. - Yeah.

I can go to the DMV with you.

- No, I got it. - Okay.

It's just, you got to go in the next couple of days or--

Harper, I just said I'd go. Like...

- Sorry. - Why are you...?

Y-You know? - Yeah.

Here we are. Big Sapporo.

Why community college?

Didn't you get like a perfect score on your SATs?

Why not like a real college?

I didn't get a perfect score.

Well you did better than David, and he went to Tulane.

Right, well, okay, I think it's cool you're doing this.

I don't know if I am.

Like, this is kind of Harper's thing.

Why isn't Harper's thing for you to go to a real college?

Dude. You went to a community college.

That's what I'm saying.

They let anybody in community college.

Why can't you just be supportive?

I'm saying he's... I'm being supportive.

I'm just saying that he's smart. - Be supportive,

less of a dick. - Look, it doesn't matter.

Like, I don't think I'm gonna go.

Why?

Because I...

I always said I wasn't gonna go.

I don't know why Harper suddenly, like...

Look, I always said I wasn't gonna go.

So...

Then why'd you take the SATs, bro?

To show he's smarter than you.

Shut the fuck up.

♪ And the shark has pretty teeth, dear ♪

- Hey. - Hey.

How was your day?

It was good.

♪ Just a jackknife has Mac Heath, dear ♪

- What's this? - Scotch.

Brian got it for us.

Apparently, it's a nice bottle.

How does Brian afford these weird hobbies?

I don't know.

His dad has money.

Well, must be nice.

Your dad has money.

Yeah, but not like "buy a $200 bottle of scotch" money.

He said he'd give you a down payment for a house.

That's different.

Yeah.

It is.

Work was fine, by the way.

How was work?

I meant it's different because it's an investment.

Yeah. I know what you meant.

Did you go to the DMV today?

Why'd you say that the other night?

About the print shop not being my forever job,

how I'm thinking about going back to school.

Because you arethinking about going back to school.

What do you mean?

It's just the way that you said it.

You really don't know what I'm talking about?

No.

It was embarrassing.

Okay, well, I'm sorry I embarrassed you.

No, it was embarrassing for you.

It was transparent, just how important it is to you

that I be seen a certain way.

Yeah, I don't want you to go to school

because it's important to me.

I want you to go to school because I think

you're unhappy right now.

Do you know what tautology means?

No.

The answer is no.

I didn't go to the DMV.

When did this become a chore for you?

I don't know, Harper.

You said you wanted to get a degree.

Not really.

You asked me once in this kind of abstract, theoretical way

if I wanted to get a degree,

and then you just dove into the internet

and started sending me emails

and course schedules... - Hold on.

Wait a minute. - ...and fucking to-do lists.

That's not how this started.

You talked about wanting to do stuff,

like your-- like your magazine, your quarterly.

- That was your idea. - Or like that coding camp thing.

That was David's idea. I didn't say anything about it.

Yeah, but he talked about it for you, though.

You seemed interested.

Harper, what do I know about coding?

Well, nothing yet.

But you're smart. You know stuff. You can learn.

You know what fucking sine and cosine means.

Okay, and what does that have to do with anything?

What are you talking about? - I'm just saying.

You know stuff. You're smart.

Okay, and what? Like, why can't I just be smart?

Like, why can't I just be a smart person

with the job that I have and the life that I live?

Like, what is this need for more?

- It's not a need for more. - Do you think

me having some kind of desk job will make you happy?

It's not a need for more.

It's about having some ambition.

Ambition for what, Harper?

I don't know.

Not ambition, then.

You're uninspired. You're-- You're sad.

I'm not...

Look, I can't, okay? I-I can't do this one again.

Okay? Please.

Fine.

Actually, you know what?

It's not fine, because you did want to make a change.

After my first night at Mise, you said you did.

I do. I just want it to be on my terms.

But you don't do anything, though!

Like, what is wrong with me trying to help you get unstuck?

Because it's about you!

- What? - It's not about me.

It's about you turning me into the person

that you want me to be. - No, no.

You having an ID isn't about me turning you into anyone.

You need an ID, Charlie. You need to be a person.

A person who can board a fucking airplane!

I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you

tick off all the reasons that you hate me.

You know what, you need to fix your phone when it breaks,

and not use mine to call Brian

or get directions to your fucking coke dealer.

Oh, my God. Like you don't blow a bag

with half the kitchen at Mise.

- It's different. - How?

How is doing drugs different than doing drugs?

Because I don't have a fucking coke dealer!

That's the difference! - Oh, my God.

You know I love your dad, and I know your mom has

a good heart. - What the fuck are they doing in this conversation?

But you can't tell me, looking at them,

that you're not aware of some predisposition

to alcohol and depression.

That's right. That's the shit, Harper.

That's right. I'm a piece of shit.

I'm always gonna be a piece of shit.

- No, that's not what I'm saying. - That's who I've always been.

You know I predicted this, right?

What?

That last night before we moved,

you parked your U-Haul in front of my house,

and you asked me why I wasn't coming with you,

and this was my answer.

I told you this would happen.

And I said it nicely then,

but it's actually really fucking ugly.

You fell in love with me because I lived in a trailer park while

you were going through your "fuck you, Mom and Dad" phase.

You got this whole thing in your head to hide yourself

from how fucking miserable you are!

But you're always gonna want their approval.

You are always gonna try and turn me into someone

that they'd accept.

You want me to change because you want me to change.

That's what tautology means, by the way.

So don't give me your fucking bullshit about me being sad.

But you are sad, though!

I'm sad because my girlfriend doesn't love me.

This is who I am.

Either remember it or fucking leave me.

Yeah, I should fucking leave you.

I am done with this conversation.

You mope around all day with zero purpose.

- I'm done, Harper! - You drink all night.

And you can't fuck me unless you've had at least four beers,

but not more than seven... - Shut the fuck up!

...'cause then you can't get hard! You're pathetic!

♪ Someone's sneaking 'round the corner ♪

♪ Is that someone Mack the Knife? ♪

It's like he can't see how stuck he is.

Have you guys talked about taking a break?

No. God. If I even brought that up...

I don't know what to do.

What?

I just don't know what to do.

Sorry. It's so loud in here.

I said I don't know what to do.

Oh.

Oh. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Now I'm that girl.

No, Harper. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's just have fun and dance tonight,

and then we can figure out Charlie next year.

- Yeah? - Yes.

Yes. That's my girl.

Ugh!

These are all matches?

Is this how you met the firefighter?

He wasn't a firefighter.

He just wore that hat in the picture.

- What's this called again? - Tinder.

♪ You're perfectly okay

♪ Waiting for the good life

♪ We should talk all night

♪ Waiting for the perfect sign

♪ Recognize we'll get it right

♪ Get it right this time

♪ We'll get it right, you and I ♪

♪ We'll get it right this time

♪ We'll get it right, you and I ♪

It's about that time, y'all!

♪ We'll get it right

...eight, seven...

♪ Get it right this time

...three, two, one!

Happy New Year!

I remember my first night with Charlie.

Okay, I have to, like,

fully grab your ass to make this work.

Okay. This was your plan all along.

No!

"Having a Coke with You," by Frank O'Hara.

"Even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún..."

Sorry, it sounds better in my head when I imagine myself

pronouncing all these words right.

He was so nervous. It was kind of messy.

Oh, sorry. It's okay.

- Sorry. - It's okay.

But I don't know...

It was nice somehow.

I remember he had all these books in his room.

And they were all so worn and scribbled in.

Like, he didn't just have them--

He loved them. He devoured them.

I wanted so bad to be his, the way those books were his.

But now I wonder if that was possible.

If those books were like that because he loved them...

...or if they were ripped and worn and stained

because that's who he is and who he wants to be.

So, this is it, huh?

This is it.

When do you have to leave by?

Look, I'm not gonna ask you to do

what you've already told me so many times you won't,

but...

...can you at least tell me why?

Why won't you come with me?

Like, yeah, David's already there.

- I know, I know. - And Brian.

It's not like it'd just be for me.

It's not that. It's, um...

It's like...

You're going to this place

and you're gonna do all these incredible things

because you're so talented and ambitious.

But I'm gonna be staying right here.

There'll just be this distance between us.

- Not if you come. - No.

Yes. Even if I come.

Even if I'm right next to you.

The...

This distance will still be there.

You don't have to be finished, Charlie.

Harper!

Harper!

Harper!

Okay.

Okay.

Okay? Yeah?

Okay. I'll come with you.

Charlie?

Charlie?

Charlie?

I slipped.

It's okay. It's okay.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna get a mop.

Okay? - No.

Harper. Harper.

I want to be what you see.

But it's...

It's tomorrow, you know?

Tomorrow?

No, it's... It's tomorrow and tomorrow...

I'm... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Fire one confit! Fire one major!

One confit, one major! Yes, chef!

Saute, how long to the window?

- Two minutes. - I need it now. Keep pushing.

Push, push, push!

Amy?

Hi.

Uh, it's nice to meet you.

Yeah. Nice to meet you.

How are you? - I'm good. I'm good.

This place is, uh... It's cool.

Yeah, yeah. Really cool.

Do you like cocktails?

Uh, yes, I do, I do.

Um, I've got to admit, though, I'm a little lightweight.

Uh, intimidated by you, though,

'cause I saw that you're a chef on your profile.

- Oh. - Yeah, if you start, like,

getting into the properties of mixology,

I might evaporate on you.

There's no wrong way to enjoy taste.

Alright. That's, uh... That's good to hear,

'cause I'm typically a Jack and Coke type of guy.

Okay. Yeah, well...

Yeah, I got nothing. That's bad.

You-- You shouldn't drink that.

Alright, I'll remember that.

Oh, um, hey...

I'm sorry, I just, um...

Oh, God. I haven't been out like this a lot yet.

I think I'm just nervous or something.

- Okay. Yeah. That's... - Sorry.

No, that's-- that's totally, totally fine.

Ah, it's so embarrassing.

It's not. No. Hey. It's, um... totally normal.

This is normal?

Well...

I guess it's kind of my worst nightmare, but, uh...

- Oh, I'm sorry. - I'm just kidding.

It's like, how do you get back into small talk after that?

Oh, that's...

Geez, that's the easiest thing in the world,

'cause I've got thousands of icebreakers.

- Yeah? Like what? - Um...

What do you think it's like being married to Ira Glass?

I don't know who that is.

Moving right on. Um...

Which, uh, which Beatle do you think describes your soul

the best?

Ira Glass is the radio guy, right?

Yeah.

That's funny.

George.

- What? - The Beatle.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, well, that makes sense.

You're a George person. George people are always cool.

So, I'm a Paul guy.

Paul people are boring.

Paul people are happy.

Yeah. That's true.

Happy, yeah.

I'm not a chef.

I'm a cook, but I'm not a chef.

And my name is not Amy, and, um...

And I'm guessing you just got out of a relationship?

No, I'm actually still in one.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come.

I'm sorry.

- Really, uh... - I'm sorry.

Hey, uh, not Amy.

Um, I just...

I got out of a relationship a few years ago,

and, um, everyone I knew

knew my ex, so...

they were just telling me what to do

or kind of telling me what I wanted to hear.

And really, all I wanted was just someone to listen.

And so, if you want, I can be that for you.

We can end this date, and you don't have to tell me your name.

You can just talk, and I'll listen.

Yeah.

Yeah?

Lead the way. - Okay.

I heard someone once define the word relationship

as the space between two people.

Mm. I like that.

Me too.

Sometimes it's like I'm sitting next to the girl I used to be,

and she's so mad at me because she loves Charlie.

And she thinks I've lost everything

that made us special.

And what about the you you're going to be?

What would she say?

That I already know what I'm gonna do.

♪ Love is a tender thing

♪ Yet we tend to bring...

The fancy Jack and Coke.

So, you broke up with someone recently?

Yeah.

Well, a few years ago.

But it feels recent?

Sometimes.

Do you ever talk to her?

No.

God, it's like they die.

Well, I don't think of it quite like that.

I...

It's like you're watching time play backwards,

and the person that you were closest with

slowly becomes a stranger again.

Are you a nostalgic person?

Um, yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

Are you?

Yeah.

I just wonder what purpose it serves.

So, when did you and Charlie meet?

Fuck.

Oh, come on.

You didn't really think this one through, did you?

Uh...

No, I guess not.

Congratulations.

Yeah. Thanks.

So, are you gonna give it to me, or...?

Oh. Yeah.

It's only one song.

Wow. Bold.

Yeah.

it's a really good one, though.

Just, um...

...don't listen to it too much.

I mean, if you like it.

You know, don't want it to lose, like, that thing.

Okay.

I'll see ya.

Harp?

What is it? Are you...?

What's going on?

I think I'm just emotional.

Can you hold me?

Yeah.

Charlie...

I think I'm unhappy.

And I think that...

...maybe we shouldn't be together.

I just...

I just think something's not right.

And I don't know that we can fix it.

Right.

Um...

So, what are you saying, then?

Like we should break up?

I think so.

Uh...

How long have you...?

It's like...

Have you been thinking about this for a long time,

or are you just thinking it now?

I've been thinking it for a while.

On New Year's Eve...

...I danced with someone, and at midnight, I...

And I went on a date.

I met someone online, and I went...

I went to meet him tonight.

- Oh. - I'm sorry.

As soon as I got there, I called--

I called it off.

I just love you so much. You're my best friend.

But I just...

I don't think we can get happy again.

Something about her being an alcoholic

and her being a good mother--

they felt, like, mutually exclusive.

And, um, I think as I got older,

I came to realize that...

you can be an alcoholic

and a good person.

Keep coming back.

It works if you work it.

So work it. You're worth it.

You only have two weeks before midterm papers are due.

Sorry.

So if anyone's still struggling

to come up with a subject to write about,

I would recommend finding time this week.

Office hours will be posted.

I think I'll be here Wednesday and Thursday as well.

You know, I realized we have a mutual friend on Facebook.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Harper Owens?

I was a hostess at this restaurant she works at.

Mise?

I actually introduced her in a roundabout way

to this guy she dated for a while.

How do you know her?

I, uh...

I am also a guy that she dated for a while.

Shut up. Really?

That's fuckin' crazy.

She's a genius, you know?

Everyone said she's as good as Chef.

How long did you guys date for?

Um...

Five years?

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

It was a while ago, though.

Do you smoke in here?

Sure. Yeah.

By the window.

Why'd y'all break up?

It's kind of a long story.

Tell me anyway.

So... what was it?

Why did you and Harper break up?

We weren't happy.

I think we grew up at a different pace.

It's a little place. Ten tables. Great location.

It's a three-month lease with an option to renew.

So we can run it as long as we want to.

Yeah.

It'll be yours, Harper.

Your menu, your staff, your restaurant.

Aw! She's so cute.

She looks like your sister. - I know. It's crazy.

Are you the kind of aunt that gets custody

if your sister dies?

- That's so dumb. - So dark.

What? I always wondered that.

I literally never wondered that.

Though now that you...

♪ Girl, you told me that we were through ♪

- Harp! - Hm?

We're gonna get drinks.

- I'm okay. I'll stay. - Cool.

♪ In every way that I could

♪ But, girl, you fooled around until I caught you ♪

Hi.

I'm Charlie.

♪ I'm gonna keep lovin' you

I know.

♪ I'm gonna keep lovin' you

Hey.

Hey.

You know, I've got a shoe box like this.

I always feel like I should throw mine away.

Really?

Why?

You started dating that guy.

What guy?

Mr. Finance Man,

with the puffy vest.

- Who, Tom? - Yeah, I don't know.

I deleted the app when he showed up.

Funny one to be jealous of.

Bet you thought about Tom more than I did.

I thought about Tom... a lot.

What about you? Anything serious?

No. Not really.

Actually, um, you might...

Do you remember Jessica Wright? She was a...

- Jessica...? - ...a hostess at Mise.

Yeah. Jess.

Wait. Back up. You have a thing with Jess?

No, not-- not really. Just...

- She's kind of young, no? - I mean, not--

not, like, criminally. - She was like, what, 19

when she worked at Mise? - No, she was like...

That was... Okay, what just happened?

Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

It was all fun and games

when we were talking about, like, Mr. Puffy Vest.

I know, I'm sorry.

It's just like, everyone I've dated has been,

like, obviously wrong for me.

Jess is kind of perfect.

She's younger than me, which is upsetting.

No, I...

Well, she's not perfect for me, so...

Why?

Well, her youth is just so glowing.

It's, like distracting. Oh, fuck you.

She told me you're sous chef now.

I am, yeah. For now.

For now?

Well, Claire's talking about helping me open a pop-up.

What? Wait. That's amazing.

Are you serious? - Yeah.

Harper, that...

That's incredible. When do you open?

I-I said-- I said I'd think about it.

Really?

I know.

I don't...

This is like the dream.

I don't get it.

Yeah, I just...

I don't know. I really don't.

Sometimes I think about what you said,

about how people who want more tend to want more forever.

Oh, Harper, I didn't...

I didn't know what I was talking about.

I was just trying to rationalize my own...

whatever.

Maybe.

Doesn't mean it wasn't true, though.

Hey, I'll probably do it. I-I'm sure I will.

Just...

Doesn't feel the way I thought it would.

Wow. And this is what, like two years?

It's my one year.

I get my two year in October.

That's great, Charlie. I'm so proud of you.

David told me you're finishing school?

- Well, uh, you know... - Or you're about to?

Yeah, I finished my prereqs,

so I start at Tulane in the fall.

What are you gonna study?

Education.

I want to be a high school guidance counselor.

Guidance counselor?

God, that's perfect, Charlie.

I didn't even know you were in school.

Yeah, well, I mean, it was after, um...

It was after you and I...

I went through that bad spell, you know, and...

after Randy, um...

well, he fired me...

uh, he helped me get into the program

and, uh, lent me some money to pay for classes.

- Ah, Randy. - I know.

He saved my life.

Him and you.

Which way are you?

I'm-- I'm back this way.

- I parked back at the... - Okay.

Um, so I-I guess I'll see you. Yeah?

Yeah.

Okay, well, um...

Bye, Harp.

Bye.

Actually, Charlie?

Um...

You know the last time we talked,

when you called me while you were going through the 12 steps

and were, um... - Making amends?

Making amends, yeah.

It just...

It occurred to me that I never did that for you.

- Oh... - Made amends.

No.

For-- For how I was in the end.

- No. - For what I did.

No, Harper. No.

I'm really sorry.

I'm-- I'm grateful to you, Harper.

I needed to go through that.

Do you ever miss it, Charlie?

Not like you want it back. That's...

That's not what I'm saying.

Just...

Do you ever miss that time?

Yeah.

Yeah. Of course.

How is it possible

to miss this thing that hurt so much?

- No... - Like, why can't I just forget?

Because we're not supposed to.

We loved each other, Harper.

We loved each other so, so much.

We're not supposed to forget.

That's how we carry each other with us.

Don't throw your shoe box away, okay?

♪ Break it to me gently

♪ Let me down the easy way

♪ Make me feel that you still love me ♪

♪ If it's just, if it's just for one more day ♪

♪ Break it to me gently

♪ So my tears, my tears won't fall too fast ♪

♪ If you must go, then go slowly ♪

♪ Let me love you

♪ Till the last

♪ The love we shared for oh so long ♪

♪ Is such a big part of me

♪ If you must take your love away ♪

♪ Take it gradually

♪ Oh, oh, break it

♪ Break it to me gently

♪ Give me time

♪ Oh, give me a little time to ease the pain ♪

♪ Love me just a little longer

♪ 'Cause I'll never, never love again ♪

♪ 'Cause I'll never love

♪ Again

♪ Never love again