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Will and Grace is shot
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before a live studio audience.
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Morning!
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Morning.
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What did you do?
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I bought you a present.
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Grace...
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Grace!
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I wanted to surprise you. I...
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I... I installed it myself...
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I can see that!
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Did you turn off the main water line?
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No.
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Did you turn off the dishwasher?
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- No.
- Did you do anything?
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I came to get you.
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Go grab towels!
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I ca...
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Look, I say this with love, but...
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sometimes living with you
is like being stuck
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inside an episode of "I Love Lucy."
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Well, yeah, 'cause I'm the kooky redhead
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everyone loves, and you're
the guy who overreacts
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to every little thing I do.
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You're comparing me to Ricky?
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Oh, I'll take that as a compliment.
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He was always my favorite.
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That's 'cause you had a crush on him.
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I mean, sure, he's the origin story
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of my love of men with black
hair and a high-waisted pant.
31
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But, my favorite,
because Desi was just as much
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of a genius as Lucy was,
except that everything he did,
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he did to make her shine.
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Anyway, it's not a perfect analogy.
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I mean, we're not married. I'm not Cuban.
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There's no Fred and Ethel popping in.
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Hey, neighbors.
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Oh, look, Jackie.
Will finally gave Grace a bath.
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Wait, does this mean
you're not making us breakfast,
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because that's kind of
the only reason we're here.
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Sorry, Fred and Ethel.
Kitchen's kind of closed.
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I knew the health department
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would shut this place down eventually.
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Fred and Ethel?
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We were having a whole
"I Love Lucy" discussion.
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Will is obviously a Ricky.
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Oh, Will is totally a Ricky.
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And I think we all know
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who the Lucy is.
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Totally.
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It's me. You?
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That's crazy. I'm Lucy.
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Aye, aye, aye.
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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
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Lucy!
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Is that you, sweetie-pie?
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Oh, gee, I'm glad you're home.
58
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How about a great big...
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I'll see you later.
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Lucy.
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Come here.
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What's the matter?
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I stopped by the bank
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on the way home and they showed me this:
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your check to the beauty parlor.
66
00:02:39,068 --> 00:02:41,580
But I write a check to
the beauty parlor every month.
67
00:02:41,604 --> 00:02:42,881
Yes, I know that,
but they don't always have
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a little note on the back like this one.
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"Dear Teller, be a lamb,
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and don't put this through
till next month."
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That's why they call them "tellers."
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They go around blabbing
everything they know.
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Lucy.
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Do you realize how tough it is
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for a guy to make a buck these days?
76
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You think that the money grows on trees?
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No.
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Well, we'll see you later. Come on, Fred.
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No, no. No, no.
Come on, come in, sit down.
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No, thanks.
I went to the fights last night.
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Fred, please. Come in, will you?
82
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Come in, Ethel.
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Fred, tell me something, would you?
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How often is Ethel's
checking account overdrawn?
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Never.
86
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Never? How do you manage that?
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It's easy.
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I never had enough money at one time
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to open a checking account.
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What?
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She spends money like I was
printing it in the basement.
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"Printing it in the basement."
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Let's face it, Rick.
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When it comes to money,
there are two kinds of people:
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the earners and the spenders,
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or as they are more popularly known,
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husbands and wives.
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Yeah, brother,
if they had to make the dough,
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they would think twice
before spending it that fast.
100
00:03:54,009 --> 00:03:55,058
Yeah.
101
00:03:55,083 --> 00:03:56,861
Holding down a job
is a lot more difficult
102
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than lying around the house all day long.
103
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Lying around the house?
Is that all you think we do?
104
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Yeah.
105
00:04:02,696 --> 00:04:03,701
Well, now, let's face it, Rick.
106
00:04:03,725 --> 00:04:04,735
Every once in a while,
107
00:04:04,759 --> 00:04:06,993
they get up and play Canasta.
108
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What's so tough about earning a living?
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Yeah.
110
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Have you ever done it?
111
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No, but I could.
112
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I'd like to see you try.
113
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Okay. I will.
114
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You will?
115
00:04:19,742 --> 00:04:21,053
Yeah.
116
00:04:21,077 --> 00:04:22,443
Well, this I gotta see.
117
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Honey, what is this?
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Okay, Joe.
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I'm ready to rehearse the commercial.
120
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Stuff any good?
121
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Well, it ought to be.
It's got everything in it...
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meat, vegetables, minerals, vitamins,
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alcohol 23%.
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Alcohol 23%?
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I'm Ross Elliot, the director.
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- Let's run through it.
- Yes, sir.
127
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Now, you stand right over here.
128
00:04:53,665 --> 00:04:56,377
And remember, be bright and vivacious.
129
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Yes, sir.
130
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Hello, friends.
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I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl.
132
00:05:05,444 --> 00:05:07,989
Are you tired, run-down, listless?
133
00:05:08,013 --> 00:05:09,913
Do you poop out at parties?
134
00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:11,786
Are you unpopular?
135
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:14,823
The answer to all your problems
is in this little bottle.
136
00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:17,175
- Now, you pick up the bottle.
- Oh.
137
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Little higher. That's right.
138
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,331
The answer to all your problems
139
00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:23,966
is in this little bottle.
140
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,400
Vitameatavegamin.
141
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Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat,
142
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vegetables, and minerals.
143
00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:32,908
Yes, with Vitameatavegamin,
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00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:36,066
you can spoon your way to health.
145
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All you do is take
a tablespoon after every meal.
146
00:05:39,264 --> 00:05:40,997
- Now, you take some.
- Oh.
147
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It's so tasty, too.
148
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,369
Just like candy.
149
00:06:08,393 --> 00:06:10,070
No, no, no, no.
150
00:06:10,094 --> 00:06:11,672
Look, you're supposed to like the stuff.
151
00:06:11,696 --> 00:06:13,307
You've got to smile and be happy.
152
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,942
- Now try it again.
- Yes, sir.
153
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Yes, sir.
154
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It's so tasty, too.
155
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Nope, once more.
156
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It's so tasty, too.
157
00:06:45,088 --> 00:06:47,021
It's just like candy.
158
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That's going to be fine. Go ahead.
159
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Okay.
160
00:06:55,067 --> 00:06:57,412
So, why don't you join the thousands
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of happy-peppy people,
and get a great big bottle
162
00:07:00,372 --> 00:07:02,384
of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow.
163
00:07:02,408 --> 00:07:05,642
That's Vita-meata-vegamin.
164
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:10,148
Well, now you've got the feeling.
165
00:07:10,172 --> 00:07:12,283
Now, I'd like to try it
once more, only this time,
166
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,885
faster and brighter.
167
00:07:13,909 --> 00:07:15,620
Faster and brighter. Okay.
168
00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:17,689
Oh.
169
00:07:17,713 --> 00:07:19,290
Well, pardon... pardon me.
170
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From "It's so tasty, too."
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It's so tasty, too. Yes, sir.
172
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It's so tasty, too.
173
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Just like candy.
174
00:07:33,762 --> 00:07:35,373
You know, this stuff tastes pretty good
175
00:07:35,397 --> 00:07:37,232
once you get used to it.
176
00:07:37,899 --> 00:07:39,277
Yes, I know,
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00:07:39,301 --> 00:07:40,478
but would you go ahead, please?
178
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,913
It's so tasty, too.
179
00:07:41,937 --> 00:07:43,536
Oh. Okay.
180
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,126
It's so tasty, too.
181
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:57,178
So...
182
00:07:57,202 --> 00:07:59,129
So, uh...
183
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I don't where to start unless
I begin at the beginning.
184
00:08:02,408 --> 00:08:03,785
All right, start at the beginning.
185
00:08:03,809 --> 00:08:05,642
Oh, thank you.
186
00:08:08,535 --> 00:08:09,845
Hello, friends.
187
00:08:09,869 --> 00:08:11,814
I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl.
188
00:08:11,838 --> 00:08:14,283
Are you tired, run-down, listless?
189
00:08:14,307 --> 00:08:15,751
Do you poop out at parties?
190
00:08:15,775 --> 00:08:17,587
Are you unpopular?
191
00:08:17,611 --> 00:08:19,589
The answer to all your problems
192
00:08:19,613 --> 00:08:22,680
is in this bittle lottle...
uh, little bottle.
193
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:26,715
Are you feeling all right?
194
00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:28,650
Oh, I feel fine.
195
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:30,418
Would you mind trying it
just once more, please?
196
00:08:30,442 --> 00:08:31,786
Oh, no, sir.
197
00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:33,355
It's perfectly all right.
198
00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:35,056
Now, we're going to time it this time.
199
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,958
- Are you ready?
- Mm-hmm.
200
00:08:37,996 --> 00:08:39,762
Go.
201
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:51,295
You know, you're awfully nice.
202
00:08:51,794 --> 00:08:53,994
Thank you. Would you go ahead, please?
203
00:08:54,019 --> 00:08:55,719
Hmm.
204
00:08:57,831 --> 00:09:01,744
Well, I'm your Vitaveatavegavac girl!
205
00:09:01,768 --> 00:09:05,181
Are you tired, run-down, listless?
206
00:09:05,205 --> 00:09:07,572
Do you pop out at parties?
207
00:09:09,242 --> 00:09:11,493
Are you unpoopular?
208
00:09:12,494 --> 00:09:15,180
Well, are you?
209
00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:17,690
The answer to all your problems
210
00:09:17,714 --> 00:09:20,251
is in this little old bottle.
211
00:09:20,917 --> 00:09:23,963
Vitameatavegamin.
212
00:09:23,987 --> 00:09:25,587
That's it.
213
00:09:28,391 --> 00:09:31,404
Vitameatavegamin contains
214
00:09:31,428 --> 00:09:35,225
vitamins, meat,
megetables, and vinnerals.
215
00:09:36,764 --> 00:09:40,230
You have to take a whole
tablespoon after every meal.
216
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:00,977
Look at me.
217
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,079
I went as Lucy for Halloween last year.
218
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,436
So did I.
219
00:10:06,210 --> 00:10:08,656
Grace also attempted
a "Slutty Lucy" in college
220
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,176
that ended in tears.
221
00:10:10,882 --> 00:10:12,178
So did I.
222
00:10:13,518 --> 00:10:14,894
Well, have either of you
223
00:10:14,919 --> 00:10:16,931
ever fought an Italian woman
224
00:10:16,955 --> 00:10:18,732
in a giant vat of alcohol?
225
00:10:18,756 --> 00:10:21,368
Because I have, many times.
226
00:10:21,392 --> 00:10:23,837
And that's all Lucy ever did!
227
00:10:23,861 --> 00:10:25,139
That was one episode.
228
00:10:25,163 --> 00:10:26,373
Yeah?
229
00:10:26,397 --> 00:10:28,142
Well, that's the only one I ever
saw, and that's all she did.
230
00:10:33,992 --> 00:10:36,837
- Lucy!
- Is that you, sweetie-pie?
231
00:10:41,733 --> 00:10:43,444
How's about a great big...
232
00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:46,202
- I'll see you later.
- Lucy.
233
00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:47,502
I stopped by the bank
234
00:10:47,852 --> 00:10:50,932
and they showed me your check
to the beauty parlor.
235
00:10:50,956 --> 00:10:52,767
"Dear Teller, be a lamb,
236
00:10:52,791 --> 00:10:55,336
and don't put this through
till next month."
237
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:57,438
That's why they call them "tellers."
238
00:10:57,462 --> 00:10:59,941
They go around blabbing
everything they know.
239
00:10:59,965 --> 00:11:02,410
Lucy, do you realize how tough it is
240
00:11:02,434 --> 00:11:04,167
for a guy to make a buck these days?
241
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,566
You think that money grows on trees?
242
00:11:10,105 --> 00:11:11,883
- Well, we'll see you later.
- Yeah.
243
00:11:11,907 --> 00:11:14,085
I went to the fights last night.
244
00:11:14,109 --> 00:11:16,443
Fred, Fred. Come in, please, will you?
245
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:17,862
Tell me something.
246
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:21,265
How often is Ethel's
checking account overdrawn?
247
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:23,067
- Never.
- Never?
248
00:11:23,091 --> 00:11:26,036
I never had enough money
to open a checking account.
249
00:11:27,848 --> 00:11:30,074
There are two kinds of people:
250
00:11:30,098 --> 00:11:31,575
the earners and the spenders,
251
00:11:31,599 --> 00:11:33,911
or as they are more popularly known
252
00:11:33,935 --> 00:11:36,346
as husbands and wives.
253
00:11:36,584 --> 00:11:38,449
Holding down a job
is a lot more difficult
254
00:11:38,473 --> 00:11:40,684
than lying around the house all day long.
255
00:11:40,708 --> 00:11:42,219
Well, every once in a while,
256
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:44,896
they get up to play Canasta.
257
00:11:45,847 --> 00:11:48,358
What's so tough about earning a living?
258
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,988
Yeah, I could do it.
259
00:11:55,009 --> 00:11:57,721
I'd like to see you try.
260
00:11:57,745 --> 00:11:59,422
Okay. I will.
261
00:11:59,446 --> 00:12:01,287
This, I gotta see.
262
00:12:10,324 --> 00:12:13,107
_
263
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:16,734
Tu!
264
00:13:10,031 --> 00:13:12,364
No, I'm-a pooped.
265
00:14:08,245 --> 00:14:09,757
There's no way anyone
266
00:14:09,781 --> 00:14:12,026
would compare you to Lucy over me.
267
00:14:12,050 --> 00:14:13,761
You don't even have red hair.
268
00:14:13,785 --> 00:14:16,130
- Well, in fairness...
- It used to be natural.
269
00:14:16,154 --> 00:14:19,433
Uh, cello?
270
00:14:19,457 --> 00:14:21,126
How can either of you say that
271
00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:22,595
you're more like Lucy than I am?
272
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:25,950
Always getting into hijinks,
married to a Latin hunk,
273
00:14:25,974 --> 00:14:28,351
adorable in a polka dot dress
with a capped sleeve.
274
00:14:29,613 --> 00:14:30,645
Oh, great.
275
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:33,790
Now we have to say
that a boy can be Lucy, too?
276
00:14:34,043 --> 00:14:35,543
What's next? Equal rights?
277
00:14:35,568 --> 00:14:37,568
It's madness!
278
00:14:39,935 --> 00:14:42,469
- Lucy!
- Is that you, sweetie-pie?
279
00:14:42,732 --> 00:14:45,478
Oh, gee, I'm glad you're...
280
00:14:47,837 --> 00:14:50,816
Lucy, I stopped by the bank.
281
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,318
"Dear Teller, be a lamb,
282
00:14:52,342 --> 00:14:54,253
and don't put this through
till next month."
283
00:14:54,277 --> 00:14:57,089
That's why they call them "tellers."
284
00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:59,714
Do you think money grows on trees?
285
00:15:05,255 --> 00:15:07,099
Went to the fights last night.
286
00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:09,857
Fred, come in, please.
287
00:15:10,435 --> 00:15:13,796
How often is Ethel's
checking account overdrawn?
288
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,140
Never.
289
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,775
Holding down a job is difficult.
290
00:15:16,799 --> 00:15:19,144
Canasta.
291
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,346
- Earning a living.
- I could do it.
292
00:15:21,370 --> 00:15:22,448
Ha!
293
00:15:22,472 --> 00:15:24,183
I will.
294
00:15:24,207 --> 00:15:25,584
This, I gotta see.
295
00:15:27,243 --> 00:15:29,321
All right, girls.
296
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,579
Now, listen carefully.
297
00:15:32,715 --> 00:15:35,185
This is the wrapping department.
298
00:15:35,466 --> 00:15:36,450
Yes, ma'am.
299
00:15:36,474 --> 00:15:39,278
Now, the candy will pass by
on this conveyor belt,
300
00:15:39,302 --> 00:15:40,688
and continue on into the next room
301
00:15:40,712 --> 00:15:42,233
where the girls will pack it.
302
00:15:42,899 --> 00:15:45,366
Your job is to take each piece of candy,
303
00:15:45,391 --> 00:15:47,157
wrap it in one of these papers,
304
00:15:47,182 --> 00:15:49,950
and then put it back on the belt.
305
00:15:50,181 --> 00:15:51,625
Do you understand?
306
00:15:51,649 --> 00:15:53,603
- Yes, sir... yes, ma'am.
- Yes, ma'am.
307
00:15:54,986 --> 00:15:57,052
Let it roll!
308
00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:02,469
Let it roll!
309
00:16:02,493 --> 00:16:04,772
Well, wait here.
310
00:16:04,796 --> 00:16:06,896
Somebody's asleep at the switch.
311
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:10,410
What are you doing up here?
312
00:16:10,434 --> 00:16:12,579
I thought you were downstairs
boxing chocolates.
313
00:16:12,603 --> 00:16:14,759
Oh, they kicked me out of there fast.
314
00:16:14,784 --> 00:16:15,909
Why?
315
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:18,820
Kept pitching them
to see what kind they were.
316
00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:20,155
All right, girls.
317
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:22,257
This is your last chance.
318
00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:24,926
If one piece of candy gets past you
319
00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:27,863
and into the packing room
unwrapped, you're fired.
320
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:29,164
Yes, ma'am.
321
00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:31,400
Let it roll!
322
00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:50,585
Well, this is easier.
323
00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:53,310
Yeah. We can handle this all right.
324
00:17:05,714 --> 00:17:09,616
Listen, Ethel, I think this is, uh...
325
00:17:09,641 --> 00:17:12,175
I think we're fighting a losing game!
326
00:17:25,329 --> 00:17:27,262
Here she comes.
327
00:17:43,110 --> 00:17:44,387
Fine!
328
00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:46,856
You're doing splendidly.
329
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,051
Speed her up a little!
330
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,891
Plus, Lucy was desperate
331
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,394
to get her big break in show biz and...
332
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:08,730
well, I got mine many years ago
333
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,132
when I got the part of "Terrified Man"
334
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:12,634
in an episode of "Silk Stockings."
335
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:15,737
I can relate to her struggle.
336
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,338
There's only one way to solve this.
337
00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:20,174
Agreed, and while I've never wrestled
338
00:18:20,198 --> 00:18:23,845
with a gay man and a pregnant
woman at the same time,
339
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:26,047
I've always wanted to.
340
00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:28,538
No, I mean, ask Ricky.
341
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,920
Which one of us would you say
342
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,255
is your Lucy?
343
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:35,590
And keep in mind,
344
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,981
I have pictures of you in shorteralls.
345
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:40,728
And I have pictures of you
346
00:18:40,752 --> 00:18:43,520
trying to rock a mustache for Movember.
347
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,935
And I stopped caring an hour ago,
348
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,028
but I still wanna know just 'cause.
349
00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:53,074
You're all my Lucy.
350
00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:55,910
Grace and I share a home,
but we sleep in separate beds.
351
00:18:55,934 --> 00:18:58,046
Karen's always up
to something I disapprove of.
352
00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,881
Jack spends all my money.
353
00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:01,549
Plus I... I am constantly cleaning up
354
00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:02,917
after all your messes.
355
00:19:02,941 --> 00:19:04,519
No, you're not.
356
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:07,046
He literally just cleaned up your mess.
357
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,925
From a present I thoughtfully bought.
358
00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:14,228
Which you were too cheap
to hire someone to install.
359
00:19:14,252 --> 00:19:16,230
I was about to say the nice part.
360
00:19:16,254 --> 00:19:18,433
Can I say the nice part, please?
361
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:21,057
When I was a kid, I wanted to be Ricky.
362
00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:24,494
Because he got to live with Lucy.
363
00:19:24,855 --> 00:19:26,441
This guy is so lucky,
364
00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:27,742
'cause he gets to spend his life
365
00:19:27,766 --> 00:19:29,566
with someone like that.
366
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,480
Well, I got him beat.
367
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,248
'Cause I got three of you in my life.
368
00:19:34,272 --> 00:19:36,033
And even better,
369
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:38,575
my kid'll have that too.
370
00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:43,580
- Pretty lucky kid.
- Mm.
371
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:47,150
I wish I was that kid.
372
00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:50,298
But still Lucy.
373
00:19:50,922 --> 00:19:52,589
But also Ricky.
374
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:57,105
You almost brought a tear
to my eye, you old homo.
375
00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:01,242
I love you, Lucys.
376
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,244
? I love Lucy ?
377
00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:05,446
? And she loves me ?
378
00:20:07,939 --> 00:20:12,587
? We're as happy as two can be ?
379
00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:15,790
? Sometimes we quarrel, but then ?
380
00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:20,662
? How we love making up again ?
381
00:20:20,686 --> 00:20:24,799
? Lucy kisses like no one can ?
382
00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:28,636
? She's my missus and I'm her man ?
383
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:32,373
? And life is heaven, you see ?
384
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,542
? 'Cause I love Lucy ?
385
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:36,678
? Oh, he loves Lucy ?
386
00:20:36,702 --> 00:20:38,546
? Yes, he loves Lucy ?
387
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,448
? Yes, he loves Lucy ?
388
00:20:40,472 --> 00:20:44,118
? And Lucy loves me ?
389
00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:46,154
? 'Cause I love Lucy ?
390
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,689
? Yes, I love Lucy ?
391
00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:50,525
? And Lucy ?
392
00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:54,629
? Loves me ?
393
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,965
Husbands and wives.
394
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,680
I need a nail.
395
00:21:28,553 --> 00:21:31,099
What? She spends money like she...
396
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,522
What?
26748
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