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1
00:00:43,319 --> 00:00:44,711
I can smell burning.
2
00:00:45,842 --> 00:00:47,744
- _
- I can smell burning, Mum!
3
00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:51,712
- Mum!
- Oh! Argh!
4
00:00:53,295 --> 00:00:56,005
Don't worry, Georgie. It's
just the hair straighteners...
5
00:00:56,018 --> 00:00:57,748
These sizzling firelighters
6
00:00:57,780 --> 00:00:59,673
- have give me third-degree burns!
- Nan!
7
00:00:59,698 --> 00:01:01,575
- Are you all right, Mum?
- Of course she's all right.
8
00:01:01,585 --> 00:01:03,315
Bit of Savlon and she'll
be right as rain. Come here.
9
00:01:03,339 --> 00:01:06,134
You smell burning flesh, you
click into medic mode, Georgie!
10
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,015
- Man down.
- Nan, you'll live.
11
00:01:08,190 --> 00:01:10,246
Mum, you've laddered your tights.
12
00:01:10,302 --> 00:01:12,911
Right. Well, don't worry,
there's plenty more. Top drawer.
13
00:01:13,270 --> 00:01:15,757
Left or right eye, Georgie?! Left.
14
00:01:15,818 --> 00:01:18,648
- Right. Left. Right.
- Quick march!
15
00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:20,871
- Um, er... left!
- (KNOCKING AT DOOR)
16
00:01:20,882 --> 00:01:22,580
- Really?
- Yeah, left.
17
00:01:22,637 --> 00:01:23,819
Right. Cars are nearly here,
18
00:01:23,843 --> 00:01:26,136
- so you lot can stop titting about!
- Max, get out!
19
00:01:26,144 --> 00:01:28,150
- You're not allowed in here.
- I said no champagne!
20
00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:29,167
Are you kidding me?
21
00:01:29,184 --> 00:01:31,796
Us young ladies have
got us bits out here.
22
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,386
Georgie, can you please
instil some urgency?
23
00:01:34,412 --> 00:01:37,437
Right, Dad, I'm on it.
Prepare to launch Phase One.
24
00:01:38,006 --> 00:01:39,688
And no more champagne!
25
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,799
(MUSIC: THE PROMISE BY GIRLS ALOUD)
26
00:01:43,077 --> 00:01:45,605
- Cheers.
- Cheers!
27
00:01:47,711 --> 00:01:50,720
♪ Can you hear the people marching ♪
28
00:01:50,756 --> 00:01:52,658
♪ Louder than the drums? ♪
29
00:01:52,668 --> 00:01:55,545
♪ Can you hear the people coming ♪
30
00:01:55,612 --> 00:01:57,406
♪ Louder than the drums? ♪
31
00:01:57,432 --> 00:02:00,344
♪ Can you hear the people marching ♪
32
00:02:00,369 --> 00:02:02,363
♪ Louder than the drums? ♪
33
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:06,095
♪ Can you hear the people coming? ♪
34
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,099
♪ Can you hear the people marching ♪
35
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,592
- ♪ Louder than the drums? ♪
- ♪ This is my battlecry ♪
36
00:02:12,613 --> 00:02:14,863
♪ Can you hear the people marching? ♪
37
00:02:14,930 --> 00:02:17,836
♪ This is our battlecry. ♪
38
00:02:17,961 --> 00:02:19,793
(CHURCH BELLS PEAL)
39
00:02:20,583 --> 00:02:22,407
Look at you!
40
00:02:22,423 --> 00:02:24,422
- Looking good.
- Looking fresh!
41
00:02:25,095 --> 00:02:27,661
- Hello, my love. How are you?
- Good! How are you?
42
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,559
Do you know the last
wedding I was at, right?
43
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,950
I had to do a tactical vomit
in the font at the back.
44
00:02:33,565 --> 00:02:35,485
Well, I came straight
from the stag do, hadn't I?
45
00:02:37,271 --> 00:02:38,394
How's Fingers?
46
00:02:38,420 --> 00:02:40,363
I haven't seen him this
nervous since the bossman
47
00:02:40,373 --> 00:02:42,593
made us jump off that
cliff in Bangladesh.
48
00:02:43,649 --> 00:02:45,459
Oh, my days.
49
00:02:46,305 --> 00:02:48,130
What has she come as?
50
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,482
There's my lickle champion.
Come here, baby, come here.
51
00:02:54,498 --> 00:02:56,426
You didn't leave me no
money to pay the cab.
52
00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:58,512
Guys, this is Doris.
53
00:02:58,794 --> 00:03:01,788
Hiya. There'd better be a free bar,
54
00:03:01,860 --> 00:03:03,224
that's all I'm saying.
55
00:03:03,265 --> 00:03:04,962
(BABY CRIES)
56
00:03:06,582 --> 00:03:08,443
She gets awkward around new people.
57
00:03:08,469 --> 00:03:10,577
Come, baby, come, come, come.
58
00:03:11,648 --> 00:03:14,735
I don't care what they're
paying you, it isn't enough.
59
00:03:16,811 --> 00:03:18,682
Just keep breathing. Calm down.
60
00:03:18,693 --> 00:03:19,944
- I knew I shouldn't have had those beans.
- (PHONE VIBRATES)
61
00:03:19,964 --> 00:03:21,179
Oh, here we go.
62
00:03:22,594 --> 00:03:24,579
Eh, taxi's here. HE SHOUTS: Taxi's here!
63
00:03:24,630 --> 00:03:26,001
That's really going to help my tinnitus.
64
00:03:26,025 --> 00:03:29,885
Our girl's getting married,
mother! Taxi's here.
65
00:03:30,059 --> 00:03:31,793
Taxis are here.
66
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:33,633
Come on, in there. Come on.
67
00:03:33,654 --> 00:03:35,035
Taxis are here.
68
00:03:35,376 --> 00:03:37,232
I'm paying by the hour, so I don't care
69
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,785
if you're in your knickers or
not. Come on. Thank you. Lovely.
70
00:03:39,816 --> 00:03:40,867
Let's go.
71
00:03:41,887 --> 00:03:45,333
Gracie, does my facilitator
make me look like an alien?
72
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,496
- Be honest.
- You are a bloody alien!
73
00:03:47,522 --> 00:03:49,755
- You look lovely, Mum.
- Exterminate!
74
00:03:49,758 --> 00:03:50,999
- Exterminate!
- YOU!
75
00:03:51,019 --> 00:03:52,624
I'll terminate you.
76
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,211
- Bleeding...
- It's a fascinator, you daft bat!
77
00:03:55,232 --> 00:03:56,637
- Whatever!
- You two, behave!
78
00:03:56,662 --> 00:03:58,518
My beads are coming off.
79
00:03:58,897 --> 00:04:00,297
(SHE GASPS)
80
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,054
Oh, Marie!
81
00:04:09,797 --> 00:04:11,038
Perfect.
82
00:04:13,492 --> 00:04:14,513
Yep.
83
00:04:14,682 --> 00:04:17,210
Let's hope the groom turns up this time.
84
00:04:17,261 --> 00:04:18,845
No offence, Georgie.
85
00:04:18,917 --> 00:04:20,143
Oh, Nan.
86
00:04:20,268 --> 00:04:22,645
Who could take offence
at anything you say, eh?
87
00:04:22,825 --> 00:04:25,716
Right, come on. Chop, chop!
88
00:04:28,213 --> 00:04:29,439
Come on.
89
00:04:29,664 --> 00:04:31,658
I can't breathe, Georgie.
90
00:04:32,114 --> 00:04:33,273
Listen...
91
00:04:34,293 --> 00:04:35,872
It's going to be amazing.
92
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,380
You're amazing.
93
00:04:39,505 --> 00:04:41,107
Am I going to be all right
94
00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:43,194
at being a wife? I mean...
95
00:04:43,204 --> 00:04:45,783
it's like a lifetime commitment.
96
00:04:45,788 --> 00:04:47,259
You're going to be brilliant.
97
00:04:48,546 --> 00:04:50,226
You're not having
second thoughts, are you?
98
00:04:50,474 --> 00:04:51,879
Are you joking?
99
00:04:51,915 --> 00:04:54,534
I'm pinching myself. I love him so much
100
00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:57,446
- it actually scares me a little bit, Georgie.
- Well, he loves you too,
101
00:04:57,703 --> 00:04:59,933
so it's a match made in frigging heaven.
102
00:05:01,594 --> 00:05:03,517
Everything tickety boo, chaps?
103
00:05:03,642 --> 00:05:06,367
Bricks are currently
being shat, Your Majesty.
104
00:05:11,263 --> 00:05:12,617
Got the rings?
105
00:05:13,083 --> 00:05:14,155
Check.
106
00:05:15,554 --> 00:05:16,789
Speech?
107
00:05:16,815 --> 00:05:18,630
It's all up here, fella.
I'm going to wing it...
108
00:05:18,650 --> 00:05:19,876
make it up as I go along.
109
00:05:21,393 --> 00:05:23,142
If you mention that bar in Kenya...
110
00:05:23,178 --> 00:05:24,890
Aw, like I'd ever do that.
111
00:05:35,410 --> 00:05:39,160
(ORGANIST PLAYS:
BRIDAL CHORUS BY WAGNER)
112
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:57,026
You look beautiful,
113
00:05:57,303 --> 00:05:58,595
like, really beautiful.
114
00:05:58,954 --> 00:06:00,374
Perfect, babe.
115
00:06:00,446 --> 00:06:02,968
You don't look too
minging yourself, fella.
116
00:06:04,481 --> 00:06:06,275
Last of the true romantics!
117
00:06:06,649 --> 00:06:09,166
We have come together
in the presence of God
118
00:06:09,196 --> 00:06:12,063
to witness the marriage
of Frankie and Marie,
119
00:06:12,188 --> 00:06:14,226
to ask his blessing on them
120
00:06:14,351 --> 00:06:16,092
and to rejoice with them.
121
00:06:17,199 --> 00:06:19,578
The union of husband and wife in heart
122
00:06:19,661 --> 00:06:23,557
and mind and body is given
for their mutual comfort
123
00:06:23,609 --> 00:06:26,654
and help in prosperity and adversity.
124
00:06:36,144 --> 00:06:37,810
Let us pray.
125
00:06:42,046 --> 00:06:43,376
Eternal God,
126
00:06:43,501 --> 00:06:45,251
creator and preserver of all,
127
00:06:45,289 --> 00:06:47,096
giver of spiritual grace and author
128
00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:48,690
- of everlasting life,
- _
129
00:06:48,726 --> 00:06:51,308
- send your blessing on Frankie and Marie.
- (SHE MOUTHS)
130
00:06:51,756 --> 00:06:55,423
Amen. Now that Frankie and
Marie have given their consent,
131
00:06:55,468 --> 00:06:57,634
I declare that they are man and wife.
132
00:06:58,275 --> 00:06:59,967
You may kiss the bride.
133
00:07:00,092 --> 00:07:02,724
(MUSIC: YOU SEXY THING BY HOT CHOCOLATE)
134
00:07:07,055 --> 00:07:08,719
Thank you.
135
00:07:08,991 --> 00:07:11,911
- Georgie, come and dance with us.
- Nah, I can't. I'm doing the rounds,
136
00:07:11,937 --> 00:07:13,762
making sure everyone's
happy in my role as
137
00:07:13,777 --> 00:07:15,638
- head of ambience, thank you.
- Hey.
138
00:07:15,690 --> 00:07:18,873
- State of your nan, she'll be going home in an ambience!
- Oh, God.
139
00:07:20,837 --> 00:07:22,279
You all right, Nan?
140
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:26,553
- Live your dreams, darling. Live your dreams.
- I will.
141
00:07:26,605 --> 00:07:29,656
And you're going to live your
dreams an' all, aren't you, love?
142
00:07:29,681 --> 00:07:32,219
- OK.
- Are you going to show me your weapon later?
143
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:35,582
- OK! Georgie? Hello?
- Mate!
144
00:07:37,787 --> 00:07:40,530
Hey, here she comes!
The big girl. Thank you.
145
00:07:40,545 --> 00:07:42,852
- When are we going to have our dance, then, Georgie?
- In these shoes, Dad,
146
00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:43,975
I don't think so!
147
00:07:43,995 --> 00:07:46,676
Thank you. Oh, your dad
wants a dance with you.
148
00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:48,978
Mum, my toes couldn't take it.
149
00:07:48,994 --> 00:07:51,555
Oh, she's only ever happy in
her army boots, aren't you?
150
00:07:52,192 --> 00:07:53,955
Honestly, these are so high!
151
00:07:53,987 --> 00:07:55,633
Oh, bless you. Let's have a look.
152
00:07:55,644 --> 00:07:56,848
Look. Oh, yeah.
153
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,039
(MUSIC: SHE MOVES IN
HER OWN WAY BY THE KOOKS)
154
00:07:58,063 --> 00:07:59,478
♪ So at my show on Monday ♪
155
00:07:59,494 --> 00:08:00,995
♪ I was hoping someday ♪
156
00:08:01,020 --> 00:08:03,571
- ♪ You'd be on your way to better things ♪
- Hey.
157
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:04,842
Your day'll come.
158
00:08:06,020 --> 00:08:08,025
Mum! You're starting to sound like Nan.
159
00:08:08,034 --> 00:08:09,384
You'll be telling me
to live my dreams next.
160
00:08:09,408 --> 00:08:11,310
I just want you to be happy, that's all.
161
00:08:11,335 --> 00:08:13,104
I know. Of course you do. But I am.
162
00:08:13,129 --> 00:08:15,995
- I am happy.
- No, I mean properly happy.
163
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,153
Are you saying I can't
be happy without a man?
164
00:08:18,558 --> 00:08:20,219
- No, I...
- Jeez, Mum!
165
00:08:20,278 --> 00:08:23,083
♪ Not about to lie down for your cause ♪
166
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:24,757
♪ But you don't pull my strings ♪
167
00:08:24,774 --> 00:08:26,494
SHE SINGS ALONG:
♪ 'Cause I'm a better man ♪
168
00:08:26,717 --> 00:08:29,211
♪ Moving on to better things ♪
169
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:32,559
♪ Well, uh-oh, oh,
I love her because... ♪
170
00:08:32,754 --> 00:08:35,091
- Don't say anything, Kingy.
- Hey. Wouldn't dream of it.
171
00:08:35,163 --> 00:08:37,162
I'm all right. I'm all right.
172
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:39,838
Hey, hey.
173
00:08:41,109 --> 00:08:42,924
- You are, mate.
- Thank you.
174
00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:45,995
Look...
175
00:08:46,533 --> 00:08:48,312
give it time, you know...
176
00:08:48,343 --> 00:08:50,359
- No, let me stop you. Let me stop you.
- Sure... Hey, hey.
177
00:08:50,383 --> 00:08:51,646
- You don't even know what I'm going to say!
- Mate, I do!
178
00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:53,477
I do know what you're going
to say. All right, listen...
179
00:08:53,501 --> 00:08:54,808
I'm not looking for anything.
180
00:08:54,823 --> 00:08:57,326
I'm married to my job
now that I'm a sergeant.
181
00:08:57,389 --> 00:08:58,981
♪ But you don't pull my strings ♪
182
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:00,583
♪ 'Cause I'm a better man ♪
183
00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,880
♪ Moving on to better things ♪
184
00:09:02,904 --> 00:09:04,624
- ♪ Well, uh-oh, oh, ♪
- Are you all packed?
185
00:09:05,468 --> 00:09:07,995
- You don't need too much for The Sand.
- That's true.
186
00:09:08,221 --> 00:09:10,919
Hey. Who have you got up
your sleeve for us, Lane?
187
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,682
We'll need a good medic
to fill your size fives!
188
00:09:13,697 --> 00:09:16,682
You'll be meeting her on
"mission-specific training".
189
00:09:19,985 --> 00:09:21,810
_
190
00:09:22,176 --> 00:09:26,318
♪ But uh oh, she came to my show ♪
191
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:27,528
I'm all right.
192
00:09:28,278 --> 00:09:29,343
I'm OK.
193
00:09:32,147 --> 00:09:33,336
Come on, Nan!
194
00:09:33,398 --> 00:09:37,133
- Up the wooden hill to Lancashire for you.
- I'm having a nightcap first.
195
00:09:37,152 --> 00:09:39,278
Don't you think you've had
enough, you drunken old sot?
196
00:09:39,302 --> 00:09:42,557
- Don't call her that.
- Hey, I said sot, not sod.
197
00:09:42,593 --> 00:09:44,879
Mind you, if the facilitator fits...
198
00:09:45,905 --> 00:09:47,638
Me shoes are squelching.
199
00:09:47,673 --> 00:09:49,222
I know, well, they will be, won't they,
200
00:09:49,237 --> 00:09:50,698
after what you've just done in the lift?
201
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,687
NAN DRUNKENLY SINGS:
♪ Let's go to Lancashire! ♪
202
00:09:54,082 --> 00:09:56,236
All right. Night, Nan.
203
00:09:56,261 --> 00:09:58,143
- Night.
- Night, love.
204
00:09:58,158 --> 00:09:59,701
- Night, Dad.
- Love ya.
205
00:09:59,727 --> 00:10:00,890
Love you.
206
00:10:03,638 --> 00:10:06,335
- Approximately nine dead...
- Request air support...
207
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:10,155
- Suspected IED on rooftop...
- ELVIS!
208
00:10:10,175 --> 00:10:12,103
(EXPLOSION)
209
00:10:13,421 --> 00:10:15,174
(RUBBLE THUMPS)
210
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:23,599
Put your head up, how do you know
it's not going to get blown off?
211
00:10:23,838 --> 00:10:26,412
A dead medic is no good to anyone.
212
00:10:26,422 --> 00:10:28,878
Now, get your eyes on
your Colour Sergeant!
213
00:10:28,909 --> 00:10:30,211
Right, guys.
214
00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:31,791
On my command,
215
00:10:31,826 --> 00:10:35,036
we move out of the
trench, 0s, 5s and 20s.
216
00:10:35,161 --> 00:10:38,486
Fan out and protect so the
medic can make way to casualty.
217
00:10:38,532 --> 00:10:40,195
Prepare to move...
218
00:10:40,666 --> 00:10:41,824
move!
219
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:45,035
The days of shouting "medic"
and we're safe are gone.
220
00:10:45,060 --> 00:10:47,547
You're as much of a target
as any of the infantry.
221
00:10:47,598 --> 00:10:50,555
- OK.
- Friendlies, forward right.
222
00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:52,890
Medic! Medic!
223
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:54,920
Man down, cover in place.
224
00:10:54,935 --> 00:10:56,735
Assess the casualties!
225
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:00,544
Gun.
226
00:11:03,369 --> 00:11:04,820
Let's go.
227
00:11:09,147 --> 00:11:11,331
(MAN MOANS AND YELLS)
228
00:11:12,526 --> 00:11:14,335
Talk to him. Reassure him.
229
00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:17,914
What do I say?
230
00:11:17,934 --> 00:11:19,939
Well, you know how to
talk, don't you, Mimi?
231
00:11:20,185 --> 00:11:21,861
Come on! We did the theory!
232
00:11:21,887 --> 00:11:23,381
We're just putting that
theory into practice.
233
00:11:23,405 --> 00:11:25,319
- OK.
- Tell him to keep still and ask him his name.
234
00:11:25,343 --> 00:11:28,680
Right. Keep still...
and what's your name?
235
00:11:28,875 --> 00:11:31,639
- Derek.
- OK, Derek, and where does it hurt?
236
00:11:32,172 --> 00:11:33,919
Take a guess. Look.
237
00:11:34,310 --> 00:11:36,847
Leg blown off, catastrophic
bleed. What are you going to do?
238
00:11:37,227 --> 00:11:39,377
- Tourniquet and staunch the bleed.
- Exactly!
239
00:11:39,418 --> 00:11:41,064
Look, Mimi, you know what you're doing.
240
00:11:41,105 --> 00:11:42,479
I know, but it's a
little bit off-putting
241
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,283
with you standing over
me, know what I mean?
242
00:11:44,314 --> 00:11:46,690
Don't worry, 'cos in Afghan
you're going to be on you're own.
243
00:11:46,714 --> 00:11:48,027
Get your tourniquet on!
244
00:11:48,529 --> 00:11:51,918
See? This is why we train. We
train hard and we fight easy.
245
00:11:51,954 --> 00:11:54,841
You reach for your tourniquet
and know exactly where it is,
246
00:11:54,877 --> 00:11:57,701
it's going to save you seconds
and it could save his life. Yeah?
247
00:11:58,804 --> 00:11:59,993
Question.
248
00:12:00,608 --> 00:12:02,088
Why did you leave the first casualty?
249
00:12:02,184 --> 00:12:04,345
No pulse, so he wouldn't
have made the MERT.
250
00:12:04,381 --> 00:12:07,798
- Good.
- Incoming fire. Take cover.
251
00:12:13,417 --> 00:12:15,083
Don't look at me. I'm not here.
252
00:12:15,119 --> 00:12:17,199
You and your casualty
need to get to cover, now!
253
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,448
You heard your Platoon Commander.
254
00:12:18,472 --> 00:12:20,041
- All right.
- Come on.
255
00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:22,004
Everyone into the safe vehicle...
256
00:12:22,025 --> 00:12:24,285
hot extraction out of the danger zone.
257
00:12:24,342 --> 00:12:27,166
- The MERT can't land, take the casualty.
- Get him in the vehicle,
258
00:12:27,186 --> 00:12:28,786
and monitor his vital signs, OK?
259
00:12:28,822 --> 00:12:32,343
- Mind you, his vital signs are going to be fine!
- Get him into the vehicle, now!
260
00:12:33,117 --> 00:12:35,317
Throbber, can you come give
me a hand with this, please?
261
00:12:35,481 --> 00:12:37,588
All right, fella. Let's
get you on your foot.
262
00:12:42,781 --> 00:12:45,436
Move along the safe route
back towards the farm.
263
00:12:46,431 --> 00:12:48,718
I tell you, I was gutted
to miss out on Herrick.
264
00:12:49,261 --> 00:12:51,456
My dad was on the first Herrick tour.
265
00:12:53,015 --> 00:12:55,337
Still, at least we'll be
out there, in The Sand.
266
00:12:56,332 --> 00:12:58,053
You're training and security, sir.
267
00:12:58,105 --> 00:13:01,022
Hang on. Here we go.
Prepare to detonate...
268
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,447
... detonate.
269
00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:07,887
Not bad.
270
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,639
You shit yourself, Prof?
271
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,169
Ugh!
272
00:13:12,636 --> 00:13:15,342
- The Prof just shat, guys!
- Give it a rest.
273
00:13:15,343 --> 00:13:17,280
I didn't know the whiz-bangs
were going to be that loud.
274
00:13:17,285 --> 00:13:19,444
Listen, Pirbright had us training
with even louder ones, Prof.
275
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,967
Concentrate. Fingers, call it in.
276
00:13:22,044 --> 00:13:24,520
Prof, Monk, prepare tactical
theatre procedures...
277
00:13:24,556 --> 00:13:27,884
One zero Charlie to
zero, contact, wait out,
278
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,266
moving casualty, firefight,
279
00:13:30,297 --> 00:13:32,590
- vehicle incapacitated.
- Roger that.
280
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,199
Right, guys. Treat as
ambush, evacuate zero,
281
00:13:35,235 --> 00:13:37,280
remembering your 0s, 5s and 20s,
282
00:13:37,405 --> 00:13:41,156
bounce to safe area, dig in
and await further instruction.
283
00:13:41,366 --> 00:13:43,576
Fingers, with electronic
counter measure bubble.
284
00:13:43,607 --> 00:13:45,991
Safe area, 50 metres east. Let's move.
285
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:47,267
All right, let's go!
286
00:13:47,392 --> 00:13:49,430
- Real emergency, guys.
- Colour!
287
00:13:52,711 --> 00:13:55,117
- Whoa!
- Come on, mate. Up you get.
288
00:13:55,378 --> 00:13:56,693
Come on, up you get, mate.
289
00:13:56,716 --> 00:13:58,049
How's the patient, medic?
290
00:13:58,084 --> 00:14:00,630
- Stable, Colour Sergeant.
- Unlike the Prof.
291
00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:01,639
Knock it on the head.
292
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,123
What are you going to
do? Put me in detention?
293
00:14:03,235 --> 00:14:04,800
Right. Once cover's in place,
294
00:14:04,821 --> 00:14:07,056
we move him into the safety area.
295
00:14:07,733 --> 00:14:09,851
- Real emergency, guys.
- Colour!
296
00:14:11,814 --> 00:14:14,039
Textbook. You agree, Sergeant Lane?
297
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:16,643
No plan survives contact
with the enemy, sir.
298
00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:18,806
The back doors are open.
299
00:14:18,931 --> 00:14:20,965
No-one was checking for snipers.
300
00:14:21,216 --> 00:14:23,620
ECM can't protect you from
a bullet in the head, sir.
301
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:27,685
Right, 2 section.
302
00:14:27,711 --> 00:14:29,885
- All round defence.
- ALL: Colour!
303
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:31,439
That's mission complete.
304
00:14:32,125 --> 00:14:33,863
Excellent, great effort, guys.
305
00:14:33,879 --> 00:14:35,201
On me for a debrief.
306
00:14:35,248 --> 00:14:38,221
- Is that me... finished?
- Yes, mate! You're officially dead.
307
00:14:38,293 --> 00:14:40,079
Throbber, on me.
308
00:14:40,204 --> 00:14:43,072
- Relax. You did well.
- Really?
309
00:14:43,821 --> 00:14:45,497
I asked him where it hurt
310
00:14:45,508 --> 00:14:47,507
and he'd just had his leg blown off!
311
00:14:50,111 --> 00:14:53,094
Work hard and be an
asset to the section.
312
00:14:54,038 --> 00:14:55,150
You're good.
313
00:14:55,366 --> 00:14:57,519
Always treat it as an ambush.
314
00:14:58,088 --> 00:15:00,682
One explosion may be
followed by more explosions
315
00:15:00,713 --> 00:15:02,679
or direct or indirect gun fire.
316
00:15:03,149 --> 00:15:05,910
Now, who was covering the Prof when
he was getting out of the vehicle?
317
00:15:06,477 --> 00:15:09,748
We can return fire if positive
identification of the enemy
318
00:15:09,779 --> 00:15:10,987
is made in accordance
319
00:15:10,995 --> 00:15:12,997
- _
- with the rules of engagement... Throbber...
320
00:15:13,362 --> 00:15:14,642
tell me what the plan was.
321
00:15:14,694 --> 00:15:16,356
Move out of the kill zone, sir...
322
00:15:16,586 --> 00:15:18,416
For I am too pretty to die.
323
00:15:18,442 --> 00:15:20,426
Oi. Oi!
324
00:15:20,734 --> 00:15:23,558
When you're asked a question by
an officer on a training exercise,
325
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,850
you answer it to the
best of your ability,
326
00:15:25,975 --> 00:15:28,177
with the respect due. Understood?
327
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:31,848
Private Grant?
328
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:35,945
Move to the best location
in order to reconsolidate
329
00:15:35,981 --> 00:15:37,754
and further assess the situation.
330
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:40,959
Keep security 360
degrees at all times, sir.
331
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,430
That's how it's done
332
00:15:42,774 --> 00:15:44,584
and that's how you address an officer.
333
00:15:44,784 --> 00:15:48,250
Right, guys, inside, shower, scoff
and prepare for a kit inspection.
334
00:15:53,669 --> 00:15:55,284
I'm loving all this, Kingy!
335
00:15:55,643 --> 00:15:58,160
Indeed... sir.
336
00:15:58,904 --> 00:16:01,139
- Do you like him, then, or what?
- Who?
337
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:02,739
The new boss.
338
00:16:03,815 --> 00:16:05,322
He's Grade 8 trumpet.
339
00:16:06,035 --> 00:16:09,029
- What does that mean?
- No, I genuinely mean it.
340
00:16:09,044 --> 00:16:11,289
He's Grade 8 trumpet!
341
00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:13,350
Walks around the barracks
playing the thing!
342
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,247
I can't get it out of
my head! It's my earworm
343
00:16:15,258 --> 00:16:16,995
when I lie down to sleep.
344
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,635
I could do with another grown-up
coming away on tour with me.
345
00:16:21,395 --> 00:16:22,999
I think you'll cope, Kingy.
346
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,757
Wish you'd come back
and join the platoon.
347
00:16:27,326 --> 00:16:29,110
Need someone with some
miles on the clock...
348
00:16:29,125 --> 00:16:32,573
- Oh, thanks. Nice!
- You know what I mean.
349
00:16:33,362 --> 00:16:35,515
This lot's still fresh
off the forecourt.
350
00:16:36,218 --> 00:16:37,910
Your country needs you.
351
00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:40,181
Or rather, I need you.
352
00:16:40,873 --> 00:16:42,211
Come on.
353
00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:44,072
Training and security.
354
00:16:44,197 --> 00:16:47,133
- You'd be in the safety of Kabul.
- Nah, you're all right, Kingy.
355
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,315
Yeah. I know.
356
00:16:50,871 --> 00:16:52,291
Afghan...
357
00:16:52,650 --> 00:16:55,000
must fuck with your head.
All those men we lost.
358
00:16:57,018 --> 00:17:00,350
Elvis isn't the reason why
I'm not coming back, Kingy.
359
00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:02,999
I've found my niche here.
360
00:17:03,518 --> 00:17:05,303
I'm a good instructor.
361
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:07,343
And to be honest, as
weird as this sounds,
362
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:10,291
I'm enjoying being back
home with the rents!
363
00:17:11,409 --> 00:17:12,595
Look.
364
00:17:12,829 --> 00:17:14,079
You're a good medic
365
00:17:14,382 --> 00:17:15,859
and a top soldier.
366
00:17:15,984 --> 00:17:18,910
That's why we miss you
and the platoon do too.
367
00:17:20,012 --> 00:17:21,275
Listen.
368
00:17:21,657 --> 00:17:23,599
Private Saunders is going to be good.
369
00:17:24,302 --> 00:17:27,214
Spend a penny and save a pound's
worth of trouble with her.
370
00:17:27,389 --> 00:17:29,921
Right. That'll do me, then.
371
00:17:30,644 --> 00:17:33,159
Oh... need a bit of a
favour from you tonight.
372
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,506
Go on?
373
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:39,827
I am, like, officially, the
best drinker in Wolverhampton.
374
00:17:39,863 --> 00:17:41,626
Well, we all gotta be good at something.
375
00:17:41,636 --> 00:17:44,416
I bet you've had some mental
nights out in Wolverhampton-wick.
376
00:17:45,390 --> 00:17:47,846
First night out as a married
man, boys. Best look after me.
377
00:17:47,877 --> 00:17:50,155
I get that you want to smell
nice for the disco, but...
378
00:17:50,173 --> 00:17:52,946
Disco? How are we getting
there? By the fucking TARDIS?
379
00:17:53,910 --> 00:17:56,547
- (SOFT WOLF-WHISTLING)
- You look fine, Mimi.
380
00:17:56,572 --> 00:17:58,155
You going to ask me if I twerk next?
381
00:17:58,533 --> 00:18:01,148
- Just being nice.
- You wearing that shirt for a bet, Monk?
382
00:18:02,288 --> 00:18:03,879
That's bad.
383
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,147
- You coming out tonight, George?
- Yep.
384
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,870
Kingy's asked me to keep an
eye on you muppets. Shark watch!
385
00:18:08,909 --> 00:18:10,575
You're just keeping an
eye on your brother-in-law.
386
00:18:10,594 --> 00:18:13,369
- Report back to Marie?
- Have you spoken to her today?
387
00:18:13,394 --> 00:18:15,631
Yes, but I couldn't get
a word in edgeways, mate.
388
00:18:15,669 --> 00:18:17,957
She's sorting out our
honeymoon for when I go on R&R.
389
00:18:17,995 --> 00:18:21,065
- My man is loved up.
- Yes. I'm a one-man woman, bro.
390
00:18:21,097 --> 00:18:22,712
One-woman man, Fingers.
391
00:18:22,757 --> 00:18:25,313
- Is it?
- I'd never cheat on my Doris.
392
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:28,569
- You wouldn't dare, you.
- So, Prof, you're the only singleton here.
393
00:18:28,613 --> 00:18:30,364
- Come on. Get ready.
- You've got to be single, Throbber.
394
00:18:30,379 --> 00:18:32,564
Mate, I've got about
nine sorts on the go.
395
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,639
Don't you worry about
my legendary cockerel.
396
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,465
Na, na, na. I'm single an' all.
397
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:37,660
- Is it?
- Mm.
398
00:18:37,675 --> 00:18:39,531
Prof, meet Mimi.
399
00:18:39,557 --> 00:18:41,192
You swiping left or right, fella?
400
00:18:41,228 --> 00:18:43,489
- What's going on, Prof?
- I don't drink,
401
00:18:43,505 --> 00:18:45,550
- it's a good book and...
- If you don't give us an "and"
402
00:18:45,566 --> 00:18:47,852
in the next two seconds,
you're going with them, Prof.
403
00:18:47,863 --> 00:18:51,989
One, two... right, that's it!
Get changed. That's an order.
404
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,560
He's actually being serious. We
never leave a man behind. Sorry.
405
00:18:55,075 --> 00:18:57,521
Right. I'll put on my new Paisley shirt.
406
00:18:57,706 --> 00:19:00,299
- Heads will turn.
- Like the Exorcist.
407
00:19:01,304 --> 00:19:03,914
- Here, what's that trumpet noise?
- That's the bossman, Mimi.
408
00:19:04,338 --> 00:19:07,456
- Why's he playing the trumpet?
- 'Cos he's a Rupert, babe.
409
00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:09,720
(HE PLAYS TRIUMPHAL MARCH BY VERDI)
410
00:19:17,719 --> 00:19:20,837
Right. Bonus beer for anyone who
can tell me what I was just playing!
411
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,881
The trumpet, sir! Yes!
412
00:19:25,589 --> 00:19:27,959
What? What are you all laughing at?
413
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,519
- That's a fucking trumpet, ain't it?
- Prof?
414
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,279
Triumphal...
415
00:19:32,726 --> 00:19:34,141
- ... March?
- By?
416
00:19:34,597 --> 00:19:36,284
Giuseppe Verdi?
417
00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:39,278
Colour Sergeant, make a
note! Bonus beer for that man.
418
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:40,775
He doesn't even drink, boss.
419
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,758
- I can have a mocktail.
- Ooh!
420
00:19:42,768 --> 00:19:47,776
Right, guys, minibus departing
from outside here at 2000 hours.
421
00:19:47,801 --> 00:19:52,384
Estimated time of arrival at
Two Lips Karaoke Bar, 2020.
422
00:19:52,416 --> 00:19:54,953
Three drinks of your choice.
423
00:19:54,978 --> 00:19:59,080
2230, you will reboard the minibus
for the journey back to camp.
424
00:19:59,093 --> 00:20:02,998
- Any questions?
- Yes, Colour, how many drinks is three?
425
00:20:03,024 --> 00:20:05,074
- As long as we don't see... ?
- We see everything.
426
00:20:07,991 --> 00:20:09,058
Three.
427
00:20:09,183 --> 00:20:10,258
We all got that?
428
00:20:10,304 --> 00:20:11,549
ALL: Colour.
429
00:20:11,621 --> 00:20:14,097
Right then, chaps. Pip, pip.
430
00:20:14,984 --> 00:20:17,640
(HE CONTINUES PLAYING FANFARE)
431
00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:26,374
What was that?
432
00:20:26,499 --> 00:20:28,801
Mate, he's got the whitest
ankles I've seen in my life.
433
00:20:28,883 --> 00:20:30,642
(LAUGHTER)
434
00:20:37,660 --> 00:20:39,195
They're a good bunch, Kingy.
435
00:20:39,823 --> 00:20:41,177
Remember, sir...
436
00:20:41,302 --> 00:20:43,392
... one day you're going to
need to give them a bollocking
437
00:20:43,397 --> 00:20:44,917
and they're going to need to listen...
438
00:20:44,998 --> 00:20:46,186
... sir.
439
00:20:46,940 --> 00:20:49,599
One singer, one song,
Colour Sergeant King.
440
00:20:50,113 --> 00:20:51,795
I know how to lead my men,
441
00:20:52,395 --> 00:20:54,090
but thank you for the advice.
442
00:20:54,215 --> 00:20:55,599
You're the officer, sir.
443
00:20:55,681 --> 00:20:57,214
What song are you singing, Kingy?
444
00:20:57,768 --> 00:21:00,079
- I don't think so.
- Look.
445
00:21:00,597 --> 00:21:03,360
It's not going to do the guys any
harm to see you let your hair down.
446
00:21:07,677 --> 00:21:09,349
I sing one song,
447
00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:12,189
you don't take that trumpet on tour.
448
00:21:12,314 --> 00:21:14,029
What are you saying about my trumpet?
449
00:21:16,136 --> 00:21:19,556
Put a Taliban warlord and that
trumpet next to each other,
450
00:21:19,985 --> 00:21:22,133
I dunno which I'd shoot first.
451
00:21:22,152 --> 00:21:23,479
Sir.
452
00:21:23,604 --> 00:21:27,131
One song, and this
trumpet stays at home.
453
00:21:27,778 --> 00:21:30,855
♪ Oh, you to me are everything ♪
454
00:21:30,862 --> 00:21:34,291
♪ The sweetest song
that I can sing, oh, baby ♪
455
00:21:34,797 --> 00:21:36,399
♪ Oh, baby ♪
456
00:21:36,816 --> 00:21:39,964
♪ To you I guess I'm just a clown ♪
457
00:21:39,988 --> 00:21:43,712
♪ Who picks you up each time
you're down, oh, baby... ♪
458
00:21:43,837 --> 00:21:47,803
- Don't you think you've had enough?
- Don't judge me, 'cos you're boring.
459
00:21:54,295 --> 00:21:56,602
I can see why you don't imbibe, Prof.
460
00:21:56,727 --> 00:21:58,730
Oh. Imbibe.
461
00:21:59,460 --> 00:22:00,742
Exactly.
462
00:22:00,867 --> 00:22:02,735
My mum liked a sherry as well, so...
463
00:22:02,792 --> 00:22:04,561
... it's put me off for life.
464
00:22:06,465 --> 00:22:08,938
So you're not in the mosh pit
with the rest of the dudes?
465
00:22:09,002 --> 00:22:11,400
Mm, I think not.
466
00:22:13,572 --> 00:22:15,449
Are you looking forward to Afghan?
467
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:18,532
It's got to be better than
playground duty, hasn't it?
468
00:22:20,140 --> 00:22:24,005
Can't believe you were a
history teacher at my old school.
469
00:22:24,037 --> 00:22:25,979
- I know.
- How mad is that?
470
00:22:27,037 --> 00:22:30,441
How come, like, well... why?
471
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,697
How did I end up here with
this absolute shower of...
472
00:22:33,722 --> 00:22:36,804
- ... who are even more gobby than me old Year 8s?
- Yes!
473
00:22:36,845 --> 00:22:40,071
- I don't know.
- I mean, you've got a degree.
474
00:22:40,091 --> 00:22:41,414
Why didn't you go to Sandhurst?
475
00:22:41,470 --> 00:22:43,121
This is what I wanted.
476
00:22:43,649 --> 00:22:45,674
I wanted to be an ordinary soldier.
477
00:22:46,002 --> 00:22:47,961
Leave someone else to give the orders.
478
00:22:47,996 --> 00:22:51,365
ALL: ♪ ... The sweetest song
that I can sing, oh, baby ♪
479
00:22:51,406 --> 00:22:52,564
♪ Oh, Colour! ♪
480
00:22:52,689 --> 00:22:54,989
If you want to be an ordinary soldier,
481
00:22:55,604 --> 00:22:57,660
maybe you should start
behaving like one.
482
00:22:58,254 --> 00:23:00,121
- Are you saying... ?
- Mm-hm.
483
00:23:00,126 --> 00:23:01,680
- Go on! Go on.
- What, you want me to go down?
484
00:23:01,704 --> 00:23:03,739
Yes, I do. Please do.
485
00:23:03,791 --> 00:23:05,052
I'll hold your glass.
486
00:23:05,072 --> 00:23:06,999
- Thank you.
- Mosh pit, here I come.
487
00:23:07,214 --> 00:23:08,430
Good luck.
488
00:23:10,665 --> 00:23:12,560
(RAUCOUS SINGING BY CROWD)
489
00:23:16,300 --> 00:23:18,799
(ALL CHEER)
490
00:23:20,258 --> 00:23:21,950
(SHE LAUGHS)
491
00:23:26,806 --> 00:23:28,738
(MUSIC: LOVE ME AGAIN BY JOHN NEWMAN)
492
00:23:28,785 --> 00:23:31,256
♪ I need to know now ♪
493
00:23:31,276 --> 00:23:33,455
♪ Know now ♪
494
00:23:33,470 --> 00:23:35,700
♪ Can you love me again? ♪
495
00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:39,581
Sir, he needs his
collar yanked! Throbber.
496
00:23:40,410 --> 00:23:43,002
Let them have a bit of fun and
they run through walls for you.
497
00:23:51,738 --> 00:23:53,096
Get the fuck off!
498
00:23:53,129 --> 00:23:55,783
It's just a frigging dance.
Stop being such a twat!
499
00:23:55,807 --> 00:23:58,518
Mate, do yourself a favour
and don't get me at it.
500
00:23:59,139 --> 00:24:01,405
All right, mate, I ain't going
to marry her. You're safe.
501
00:24:01,425 --> 00:24:03,271
Yeah? You won't be in a minute.
502
00:24:03,302 --> 00:24:05,706
Whoa, whoa. You step away,
Throbber, and you just calm down!
503
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,234
- Oi!
- You need to fuck off now!
504
00:24:08,254 --> 00:24:09,597
Yeah? What?
505
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:13,351
Oi!
506
00:24:13,476 --> 00:24:16,187
- Throbber!
- Throbber, chill out, yeah? Chill out!
507
00:24:16,202 --> 00:24:17,550
- Relax.
- (GLASS SMASHES)
508
00:24:17,571 --> 00:24:19,063
- James!
- Just calm yourself down!
509
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,115
- James!
- Oh, shit.
510
00:24:22,144 --> 00:24:24,631
Right, lights on. I need an ambulance.
511
00:24:24,663 --> 00:24:26,817
It's all right, darling.
It's OK. It's all right.
512
00:24:26,887 --> 00:24:29,354
Everybody, take two
big steps back please.
513
00:24:29,393 --> 00:24:31,701
- Give them a little bit of space.
- Just keep really calm. What's your name?
514
00:24:31,725 --> 00:24:33,750
- Jazz.
- Jazz. OK, Jazz,
515
00:24:33,795 --> 00:24:35,820
just keep really nice and still for me.
516
00:24:35,945 --> 00:24:38,941
- Am I going to die?
- No, no, we're going to look after you.
517
00:24:38,947 --> 00:24:41,939
- Do you need me to do anything, Georgie?
- Yeah, I need your shirt, please.
518
00:24:41,963 --> 00:24:44,472
Listen, I'm gonna staunch the
bleed and we're gonna stitch you up.
519
00:24:44,496 --> 00:24:46,201
Hey, I just need you
to keep really still...
520
00:24:46,216 --> 00:24:47,828
- Here you are.
- and keep breathing, OK? Thank you.
521
00:24:47,852 --> 00:24:50,713
Mimi! Come on. Jazz,
you're going to be fine, OK?
522
00:24:51,759 --> 00:24:53,312
Mimi, here.
523
00:24:53,437 --> 00:24:55,891
- She's fallen on glass.
- Still can't get through, Sarge.
524
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:58,645
- OK. What should I do?
- Hold that. You know what to do.
525
00:24:58,855 --> 00:25:01,184
Yeah, ambulance. Two Lips Karaoke,
526
00:25:01,204 --> 00:25:03,984
- Salisbury, please.
- Right, can everyone just get back, please?
527
00:25:06,239 --> 00:25:09,226
Hello? Yeah, vital
signs, cause for concern,
528
00:25:09,245 --> 00:25:11,379
possible catastrophic
internal bleeding...
529
00:25:11,418 --> 00:25:13,411
The ambulance is on its way, OK?
530
00:25:13,475 --> 00:25:15,096
(JAZZ BREATHES RAGGEDLY)
531
00:25:15,166 --> 00:25:16,845
Mimi, keep her talking.
532
00:25:16,865 --> 00:25:19,620
- Can everyone just get back, please?
- Jazz, I need you to look at me for just a second.
533
00:25:19,644 --> 00:25:22,048
That's it! You're doing great, OK?
534
00:25:22,622 --> 00:25:25,150
Female, mid-twenties,
535
00:25:25,181 --> 00:25:27,875
- right, lower right abdomen...
- Were you going to, um...
536
00:25:28,712 --> 00:25:31,102
- ... were you going to sing a song?
- No.
537
00:25:31,227 --> 00:25:32,537
No?
538
00:25:33,306 --> 00:25:35,474
I actually was going to sing a song.
539
00:25:35,926 --> 00:25:38,246
- Tell you what, I'll sing it for you now, shall I?
- Yeah.
540
00:25:38,306 --> 00:25:42,820
♪ Someone out there loves you ♪
541
00:25:43,493 --> 00:25:47,681
♪ Someone out there is lonely too... ♪
542
00:25:48,322 --> 00:25:51,147
I cannot believe what I've
just witnessed tonight.
543
00:25:51,172 --> 00:25:53,664
- Any word, boss?
- Transfused and stabilised.
544
00:25:53,789 --> 00:25:56,240
- Sir.
- Look. We might not be donning our uniforms
545
00:25:56,255 --> 00:25:58,844
but we're still soldiers, 24/7.
546
00:25:58,916 --> 00:26:01,312
We represent our country.
We never forget that.
547
00:26:02,780 --> 00:26:04,560
We avoid any hot spots
548
00:26:04,561 --> 00:26:07,057
and tactically withdraw
from any potential contact.
549
00:26:07,068 --> 00:26:09,216
- Do you understand?
- Sir.
550
00:26:10,128 --> 00:26:11,558
Clearly, you don't, Throbber.
551
00:26:12,255 --> 00:26:13,881
You put us all in danger.
552
00:26:14,906 --> 00:26:17,273
If you're that irresponsible
having a quiet drink in town,
553
00:26:17,294 --> 00:26:19,028
how much of a liability are
you going to be out in Afghan?
554
00:26:19,052 --> 00:26:20,471
Excuse me, sir...
555
00:26:20,482 --> 00:26:22,989
To be fair to the Throbber...
the sort was coming on to him.
556
00:26:23,512 --> 00:26:25,393
He weren't doing too
much wrong in my book.
557
00:26:25,418 --> 00:26:28,555
Maybe I shouldn't have given
her the grind back. My bad, sir.
558
00:26:29,258 --> 00:26:30,709
Sorry, sir.
559
00:26:31,031 --> 00:26:32,379
It won't happen again.
560
00:26:32,420 --> 00:26:33,825
Youthful exuberance...
561
00:26:33,835 --> 00:26:38,121
Youthful exuberance nearly
ended up with a fatality.
562
00:26:48,579 --> 00:26:52,019
Start to be an asset to the
platoon and not a liability...
563
00:26:52,645 --> 00:26:55,059
you weapons-grade flange flannel.
564
00:27:00,125 --> 00:27:02,434
- What's a flannel?
- Word of advice...
565
00:27:02,762 --> 00:27:04,572
say nothing and go to bed.
566
00:27:14,313 --> 00:27:16,892
_
567
00:27:16,933 --> 00:27:21,983
_
568
00:27:46,931 --> 00:27:49,720
- (PHONE RINGS)
- (EXPLOSION)
569
00:28:03,242 --> 00:28:05,119
You all right?
570
00:28:07,279 --> 00:28:09,195
I thought she was dead, Sergeant.
571
00:28:09,214 --> 00:28:11,508
You got her to the ambulance
alive. You did your job.
572
00:28:11,540 --> 00:28:14,320
No, I don't think I would
have done that on my own.
573
00:28:16,314 --> 00:28:19,105
- I shat myself.
- We all shit ourselves.
574
00:28:19,726 --> 00:28:22,238
You think I don't shit myself
every time I hear "man down"?
575
00:28:22,258 --> 00:28:24,084
I know, but there's
shitting yourself and,
576
00:28:24,110 --> 00:28:26,482
you know, carrying on and there's
shitting yourself and freezing.
577
00:28:26,506 --> 00:28:28,961
Mimi, you didn't freeze. You did it.
578
00:28:28,967 --> 00:28:30,768
YOU did it.
579
00:28:33,511 --> 00:28:35,465
Prof's shirt's fucked.
580
00:28:40,169 --> 00:28:42,220
Did you always fancy the army?
581
00:28:43,118 --> 00:28:46,584
I think my parents thought
university would have been better...
582
00:28:46,709 --> 00:28:49,149
They must be proud of you now,
though... passing out and that.
583
00:28:49,378 --> 00:28:51,711
Mmm. They've got my...
584
00:28:52,678 --> 00:28:56,588
... they've got my passing
out photo on the piano.
585
00:29:00,042 --> 00:29:04,220
I don't think I'm ready for this,
Georgie! I don't think I'm...
586
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,534
How do you know unless you try, Mimi?
587
00:29:08,303 --> 00:29:10,008
Because if I'm not good enough
588
00:29:10,033 --> 00:29:12,904
and I don't do my job
properly and someone ends up
589
00:29:13,802 --> 00:29:16,750
- dying, then...
- Sometimes you've just gotta step up
590
00:29:16,769 --> 00:29:18,512
to the plate and face your fear.
591
00:29:19,538 --> 00:29:21,115
We all have.
592
00:29:22,954 --> 00:29:24,953
Why aren't you coming to Afghan?
593
00:29:47,696 --> 00:29:49,805
Finished my CMT training.
594
00:29:50,286 --> 00:29:53,067
Manning Desk are happy for me
to stick a three-month tour in
595
00:29:53,118 --> 00:29:54,470
before I have to return.
596
00:29:54,541 --> 00:29:56,547
If you still want me...
597
00:29:56,672 --> 00:29:59,501
(COOING NOISES BEHIND)
598
00:30:00,578 --> 00:30:03,199
Like you say, there's a lot of
new faces that need bedding in.
599
00:30:03,609 --> 00:30:05,064
I knew you wouldn't leave me
600
00:30:05,085 --> 00:30:07,094
to handle this freaks'
roll call on my own.
601
00:30:07,095 --> 00:30:09,927
- Bit rude to freaks.
- But,
602
00:30:10,052 --> 00:30:13,894
I want to be sure you want this. I'd
understand if you couldn't face...
603
00:30:17,777 --> 00:30:19,687
We're going back to Afghan.
604
00:30:20,245 --> 00:30:22,290
Do we ever really leave?
605
00:30:22,469 --> 00:30:24,119
Colour Sergeant King.
606
00:30:24,494 --> 00:30:27,032
My word is my bond! You sang,
607
00:30:27,157 --> 00:30:29,480
I promised I would not
take this trumpet on tour.
608
00:30:32,363 --> 00:30:33,677
Fortunately, though,
609
00:30:33,959 --> 00:30:35,702
I have more than one.
610
00:30:37,823 --> 00:30:39,400
Doof-doof!
611
00:30:46,430 --> 00:30:47,879
Welcome, guys.
612
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,203
I hope you've all had a
chance to look at your various,
613
00:30:50,229 --> 00:30:51,857
optoural briefing booklets,
614
00:30:51,902 --> 00:30:54,926
ostensibly a training,
mentoring and security tour.
615
00:30:54,965 --> 00:30:56,708
Sergeant Georgie Lane.
616
00:30:56,833 --> 00:30:58,735
There are agencies
from all over the globe
617
00:30:58,750 --> 00:31:00,222
- here in Kabul...
- Mimi Saunders.
618
00:31:00,242 --> 00:31:02,616
... and our job is to make
sure no harm befalls them.
619
00:31:02,652 --> 00:31:06,321
- Oliver Hurst. Second Lieutenant.
- This is not a contact operation.
620
00:31:06,378 --> 00:31:07,501
Private Stille.
621
00:31:07,562 --> 00:31:09,654
Some of you will be working
as Guardian Angels...
622
00:31:09,710 --> 00:31:11,155
Airwolf.
623
00:31:11,801 --> 00:31:14,021
... others working at
Sandhurst in The Sand
624
00:31:14,083 --> 00:31:16,599
with me and Second Lieutenant Hurst.
625
00:31:16,724 --> 00:31:18,470
- Lieutenant.
- Thank you, sir.
626
00:31:18,983 --> 00:31:20,081
All right, guys,
627
00:31:20,101 --> 00:31:22,967
into your sections for
transportation to the operating bases.
628
00:31:23,146 --> 00:31:24,285
Let's go.
629
00:31:29,088 --> 00:31:30,514
We're soldiers, man.
630
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:32,960
We're trained for contact.
No contact, no point.
631
00:31:32,985 --> 00:31:35,487
If there were contact, you'd
soon shit yourself, bro.
632
00:31:54,342 --> 00:31:56,501
I wonder if that's... Chicken Street.
633
00:31:56,752 --> 00:31:59,635
Prof... do you just,
like, know everything?
634
00:31:59,636 --> 00:32:01,411
Yo. He might as well have just said,
635
00:32:01,437 --> 00:32:03,744
"Oh, I wonder if that's
WongaWonga Street?"
636
00:32:03,789 --> 00:32:06,685
- We wouldn't know.
- I would not want to walk down here on a dark night.
637
00:32:06,701 --> 00:32:09,259
- That is for sure.
- Worse than Aldershot, eh?
638
00:32:09,274 --> 00:32:11,894
This might be our only glimpse
outside the barracks, Mimi.
639
00:32:13,098 --> 00:32:15,015
Right, guys. Focus in.
640
00:32:15,897 --> 00:32:18,294
When we get to the
base, shower and scoff.
641
00:32:18,545 --> 00:32:21,149
We'll then have 48 hours acclimatisation
642
00:32:21,159 --> 00:32:24,149
before we undertake the
RSOI package receipt...
643
00:32:24,190 --> 00:32:25,415
(HIS VOICE FADES)
644
00:32:27,246 --> 00:32:29,169
(MUSIC: PLAY OUT BY ZOLA BLOOD)
645
00:32:29,374 --> 00:32:35,783
♪ And I realize in the cold light
on the day time ♪
646
00:32:36,795 --> 00:32:39,946
- ♪ That I'm going under ♪
- ... acclimatisation is a boring couple of days
647
00:32:39,961 --> 00:32:43,057
where you rest so you're
properly ready for the tour ahead,
648
00:32:43,083 --> 00:32:44,785
which will be exacting.
649
00:32:45,113 --> 00:32:47,440
I'm looking to you
guys not to let me down.
650
00:32:47,814 --> 00:32:49,213
Medic.
651
00:32:52,042 --> 00:32:53,596
You OK, Lane?
652
00:32:55,482 --> 00:32:56,758
Medic.
653
00:32:57,594 --> 00:32:59,701
I need you in for a
medical check in the morning
654
00:32:59,717 --> 00:33:01,691
with myself and Private Saunders.
655
00:33:01,716 --> 00:33:03,382
We'll put a list up. OK?
656
00:33:04,475 --> 00:33:08,213
There will also be a voluntary
PT session every day...
657
00:33:08,239 --> 00:33:12,579
which you will all attend,
you fucking sad mongrels.
658
00:33:12,620 --> 00:33:13,805
I thought we was supposed to be
659
00:33:13,810 --> 00:33:15,860
all touchy-feely in the army these days?
660
00:33:16,245 --> 00:33:18,096
The only thing that
doesn't need exercising
661
00:33:18,132 --> 00:33:19,834
is your tongue, Throbber.
662
00:33:36,235 --> 00:33:40,044
♪ I'll be the left side
if you'll be the right ♪
663
00:33:40,387 --> 00:33:44,186
♪ I'll let the eyes
fall into the night ♪
664
00:33:44,429 --> 00:33:48,184
♪ Hold out the ocean over your hands ♪
665
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:52,510
♪ Hold out the ocean over your hands ♪
666
00:33:52,708 --> 00:33:58,002
♪ Waiting for something to play out. ♪
667
00:34:00,251 --> 00:34:01,847
Do we let them have real weapons?
668
00:34:01,886 --> 00:34:03,699
What are you talking
about now, Throbber?
669
00:34:03,751 --> 00:34:06,795
- That's the Afghan army, mate.
- That's a whole batch of new recruits.
670
00:34:07,096 --> 00:34:09,205
Look fit, healthy.
671
00:34:09,711 --> 00:34:11,294
They're ready for the task ahead.
672
00:34:11,307 --> 00:34:13,710
Yeah, sir, but what about
all the green on blues?
673
00:34:13,730 --> 00:34:16,338
I'll tell you what'd stop
that. Don't give them real guns.
674
00:34:16,351 --> 00:34:18,731
Right, and who do you think's out
there contacting the enemy, Throbber?
675
00:34:18,742 --> 00:34:20,598
That's what I'm saying,
yeah! It should be us
676
00:34:20,623 --> 00:34:23,504
out there engaging the
enemy, not that rag-bag.
677
00:34:23,540 --> 00:34:25,032
They're not a rag-bag, Throbber.
678
00:34:25,157 --> 00:34:27,235
I think it's a good
thing, don't you, sir?
679
00:34:27,513 --> 00:34:29,549
Despite their horrific losses,
680
00:34:29,626 --> 00:34:32,342
- locals are still willing to sign up.
- Yeah.
681
00:34:32,554 --> 00:34:33,957
There's a will.
682
00:34:34,220 --> 00:34:36,820
- And where there's a will... there's a way.
- Yeah, but, Kabul...
683
00:34:37,018 --> 00:34:38,489
It's a bit of a bubble, isn't it?
684
00:34:38,530 --> 00:34:40,458
Rome wasn't built in
a day, Sergeant Lane.
685
00:34:40,583 --> 00:34:43,872
No, but it can be destroyed in one...
686
00:34:43,997 --> 00:34:45,599
... and that's the problem.
687
00:34:56,556 --> 00:34:59,313
Come on. Please, please, please!
688
00:34:59,493 --> 00:35:02,226
- You all decent?
- ALL: Wahey!
689
00:35:02,298 --> 00:35:04,364
You got wi-fi in the
lumpy jumpers quarter?
690
00:35:04,380 --> 00:35:06,872
Apparently, there's wi-fi at
different spots around the base.
691
00:35:06,887 --> 00:35:08,876
Just want to let Marie
know we're all right.
692
00:35:08,897 --> 00:35:11,296
First tour as a married man,
Fingers. How are you feeling?
693
00:35:11,347 --> 00:35:12,988
Yo, I miss her, bro.
694
00:35:14,332 --> 00:35:16,018
How comes you ain't married, Prof?
695
00:35:16,143 --> 00:35:17,459
How come YOU ain't married?
696
00:35:17,510 --> 00:35:20,392
I've got too many. They all
want a slice of the Throbber.
697
00:35:20,622 --> 00:35:23,099
I would rather a slice
of pizza, to be honest.
698
00:35:23,935 --> 00:35:27,399
- How many tog do you think these are?
- Come on, Prof. You was a teacher.
699
00:35:27,420 --> 00:35:29,024
- They're all married.
- Are they?
700
00:35:29,035 --> 00:35:30,951
Yeah. Every single last one of them,
701
00:35:30,992 --> 00:35:32,464
'cos they're all sad fuckers.
702
00:35:32,494 --> 00:35:33,797
I don't think all my
teachers were married.
703
00:35:33,817 --> 00:35:36,268
- Did you used to be married, Prof?
- What makes you think that?
704
00:35:36,278 --> 00:35:38,835
You look married. The glasses and that.
705
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,251
My question is, was you
married to a man or a woman?
706
00:35:42,297 --> 00:35:45,222
- Here, knock it off, Throbber.
- Yeah. Leave it, cowboy.
707
00:35:45,347 --> 00:35:47,606
I used to have a gay drama teacher
708
00:35:47,781 --> 00:35:49,585
and he was married to the postman!
709
00:35:49,710 --> 00:35:52,548
I mean, a drama teacher
I can understand,
710
00:35:52,564 --> 00:35:54,389
- but a postie!
- My Lord!
711
00:35:54,471 --> 00:35:56,927
I thought I was thick but
you take the biscuit, bro.
712
00:35:56,952 --> 00:35:59,116
So, am I right, or am I right?
713
00:35:59,241 --> 00:36:02,726
I believe that you, Prof,
were married to a fella.
714
00:36:03,956 --> 00:36:05,085
No.
715
00:36:05,210 --> 00:36:07,315
I was married to a woman.
716
00:36:07,658 --> 00:36:09,199
But I'm not married any more.
717
00:36:09,617 --> 00:36:10,843
I knew it!
718
00:36:11,965 --> 00:36:13,324
You satisfied?
719
00:36:14,662 --> 00:36:15,805
Oh.
720
00:36:17,380 --> 00:36:20,472
- She didn't run away and leave you, did she?
- Yeah.
721
00:36:20,845 --> 00:36:24,107
Yeah, if you must fucking know, she
ran off with the Head of Geography.
722
00:36:28,765 --> 00:36:30,180
Head of Geography?
723
00:36:48,817 --> 00:36:50,976
So, here is the room...
724
00:36:51,299 --> 00:36:53,129
part of the medical facility,
725
00:36:53,139 --> 00:36:55,697
- so you are able to use...
- So, we can commandeer it, yeah?
726
00:36:56,235 --> 00:36:58,727
Yeah, we need it for medical
check-ups and assessments.
727
00:36:58,852 --> 00:37:00,454
Of course we'll get it cleaned.
728
00:37:00,500 --> 00:37:03,443
_
729
00:37:04,079 --> 00:37:06,879
- So you guys are at Sandhurst In The Sand?
- Yes, Sergeant.
730
00:37:07,078 --> 00:37:09,760
- The elite of the elite.
- I'm Rabee.
731
00:37:09,885 --> 00:37:11,631
- This is Poya.
- Hi.
732
00:37:12,041 --> 00:37:14,276
So are you medics working
with the doctors out here?
733
00:37:14,287 --> 00:37:15,671
We keep them alive.
734
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:17,689
We go out with them as their security...
735
00:37:17,690 --> 00:37:20,597
- Whenever they have to go into the community.
- Or at the hospital.
736
00:37:20,722 --> 00:37:22,822
People want to kill the doctors?
737
00:37:24,263 --> 00:37:26,037
The situation is improving, though?
738
00:37:26,068 --> 00:37:27,875
I mean, now that the war's ended?
739
00:37:28,529 --> 00:37:30,375
The war hasn't ended for us...
740
00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:31,882
just for you.
741
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:40,407
Hm. It's a great game but
these pieces are a bit weird,
742
00:37:40,428 --> 00:37:43,006
so once you learn the moves,
we can have a good game,
743
00:37:43,016 --> 00:37:44,206
- OK?
- Right. So...
744
00:37:44,621 --> 00:37:47,312
The horse is the one
that jumps over, yeah?
745
00:37:47,338 --> 00:37:50,198
Yeah. One up, three across.
746
00:37:51,378 --> 00:37:54,966
My dad was some sort of local
champion when he was at school.
747
00:37:55,207 --> 00:37:57,242
What is wrong with you? You big gorilla!
748
00:37:57,924 --> 00:37:59,324
I'm not that good.
749
00:38:06,086 --> 00:38:09,119
- Have you acclimatised yet, Prof?
- Oh, aye!
750
00:38:09,711 --> 00:38:10,995
What is that smell?
751
00:38:11,449 --> 00:38:13,635
That's Kahwa. Local green tea.
752
00:38:14,207 --> 00:38:16,345
Smells like my Doris's fake Jimmy Choos
753
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:17,904
after she's worn them for a week.
754
00:38:17,919 --> 00:38:20,615
I think it smells quite nice, actually.
755
00:38:20,882 --> 00:38:21,892
Thank you.
756
00:38:22,184 --> 00:38:23,405
Do you know what?
757
00:38:23,574 --> 00:38:26,394
You're the first teacher
that's ever been nice to me.
758
00:38:26,466 --> 00:38:27,911
I'm not a teacher.
759
00:38:28,331 --> 00:38:31,345
- I'm a soldier.
- And History was always my favourite.
760
00:38:31,868 --> 00:38:34,673
Well, Afghanistan has
an incredible history.
761
00:38:34,698 --> 00:38:37,431
Most of us couldn't even point to
it on a map, mate. And we're in it.
762
00:38:37,503 --> 00:38:40,642
- I know I couldn't.
- Why don't you give us a history lesson, Prof?
763
00:38:40,657 --> 00:38:42,457
Same reason I don't teach,
764
00:38:42,851 --> 00:38:44,438
because I don't want to
stand up in front of a bunch
765
00:38:44,443 --> 00:38:45,930
of wazzocks like you lot.
766
00:38:47,078 --> 00:38:49,728
- Come on, Prof.
- Yeah, we ain't a bunch of schoolkids...
767
00:38:50,554 --> 00:38:53,419
What's the fucking point of
leaving a busted PlayStation?
768
00:38:54,896 --> 00:38:58,424
- ... Obviously apart from my man.
- Of course, of course.
769
00:38:59,307 --> 00:39:01,378
Yeah, maybe you all do need a lesson.
770
00:39:01,853 --> 00:39:03,178
Wahey!
771
00:39:11,131 --> 00:39:14,240
(JEERING AND CHEERING)
772
00:39:17,647 --> 00:39:19,502
You've got quite a full house, Prof.
773
00:39:19,627 --> 00:39:23,015
- I'm not sure why I agreed to do this.
- I think it'll be great.
774
00:39:23,030 --> 00:39:24,358
I think you'll be great.
775
00:39:24,373 --> 00:39:26,819
Now I've got you, you ready?
776
00:39:26,999 --> 00:39:28,465
- Oh!
- A bottle of water...
777
00:39:28,485 --> 00:39:29,516
Oh, thank you.
778
00:39:29,750 --> 00:39:32,641
- ... and I've done your shirt.
- You kept it!
779
00:39:32,653 --> 00:39:34,675
I'd consigned this
Paisley beaut to the bin.
780
00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:36,746
I'd forgotten I had it, so...
781
00:39:36,798 --> 00:39:38,959
I brought it back and...
the blood came out.
782
00:39:39,228 --> 00:39:43,950
Well, I haven't seen it this well
ironed since I liberated it from Topman.
783
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:45,673
Good job.
784
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,225
Prof. The natives are getting restless.
785
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,194
Wish me luck.
786
00:39:56,361 --> 00:39:59,200
(CHEERING)
787
00:40:01,597 --> 00:40:03,119
Good turnout, Mimi.
788
00:40:03,406 --> 00:40:05,776
I've been sent to
round up any stragglers,
789
00:40:05,796 --> 00:40:07,124
but shall we just go in?
790
00:40:07,293 --> 00:40:09,698
No. We're going out. We're on a mission.
791
00:40:09,823 --> 00:40:11,528
What mission, Sergeant?
792
00:40:11,774 --> 00:40:14,174
We've got a pass to
meet the administrator
793
00:40:14,251 --> 00:40:16,542
and hopefully some of the
doctors at the local hospital.
794
00:40:16,667 --> 00:40:18,382
There's an armoured
vehicle waiting for us.
795
00:40:18,438 --> 00:40:19,981
What? We're going out of the base?
796
00:40:20,038 --> 00:40:23,504
- I need you in full combats. No risks taken.
- OK.
797
00:40:26,780 --> 00:40:28,348
So...
798
00:40:30,435 --> 00:40:33,086
it's the 1830s, right?
799
00:40:33,211 --> 00:40:35,455
And there was an
empire to be proud of...
800
00:40:35,517 --> 00:40:37,885
(CHEERING)
801
00:40:41,237 --> 00:40:43,078
And would you believe it,
802
00:40:43,150 --> 00:40:46,026
but the pesky Russians are kicking off.
803
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,399
(JEERING)
804
00:40:48,984 --> 00:40:53,488
So us Brits... need to get the
hell over from India to Kabul
805
00:40:53,503 --> 00:40:56,078
to sort these darn natives out...
806
00:40:57,832 --> 00:40:59,771
- He's a dark horse, ain't he?
- We toppled the leader
807
00:40:59,795 --> 00:41:00,907
- Prof?
- Yeah.
808
00:41:01,032 --> 00:41:03,593
- ... and put our own man at the top table...
- Ready, guys?
809
00:41:03,646 --> 00:41:04,691
Let's move.
810
00:41:05,332 --> 00:41:06,879
... Shujah Shah.
811
00:41:07,327 --> 00:41:09,116
- A bit like Monk.
- What?
812
00:41:10,029 --> 00:41:11,434
Handsome and he knows it.
813
00:41:14,772 --> 00:41:17,783
The plan was to piss off,
hotfoot back to India...
814
00:41:17,823 --> 00:41:21,845
but Shujah Shah was
flaky and shaky, so...
815
00:41:21,970 --> 00:41:25,075
... we stayed on to keep
the situation under control.
816
00:41:25,361 --> 00:41:26,701
Big mistake.
817
00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:30,629
Like the Russians, they regarded
us as another invading force, so
818
00:41:30,892 --> 00:41:34,449
these ingrate natives,
they start giving it large
819
00:41:34,475 --> 00:41:36,595
and then, would you have it but the son
820
00:41:36,634 --> 00:41:40,255
of the toppled leader,
Mohammed Akbah Khan, rocks up
821
00:41:40,306 --> 00:41:43,331
wanting bally power and
for us to sling our hooks.
822
00:41:43,389 --> 00:41:47,092
So, in that time-honoured tradition,
823
00:41:47,412 --> 00:41:49,867
we decided on a tactical withdrawal.
824
00:41:49,992 --> 00:41:52,057
I wish your father had!
825
00:41:53,371 --> 00:41:55,525
- What?
- I ain't here for fucking school!
826
00:41:55,550 --> 00:42:00,414
- It's a lorra shit-bollocks.
- 16,000 people set out
827
00:42:00,484 --> 00:42:04,278
from Kabul to travel the
90 miles to Jalalabad.
828
00:42:05,784 --> 00:42:09,360
This was to be slaughter
on an unprecedented scale.
829
00:42:12,025 --> 00:42:17,999
Generations of British blood
has seeped into those mountains.
830
00:42:20,037 --> 00:42:23,446
On the 6th January 1842,
831
00:42:23,466 --> 00:42:26,278
the Kabul forces commenced their retreat
832
00:42:26,298 --> 00:42:30,233
through the dismal pass
destined to be their grave.
833
00:42:35,085 --> 00:42:36,501
On the third day,
834
00:42:36,559 --> 00:42:39,995
they were attacked from all
points by the mountaineers
835
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:42,915
- and a fearful slaughter ensued.
- (LOUD BANG)
836
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:44,777
- Fuck.
- Shit!
837
00:42:44,808 --> 00:42:46,360
- Sorry!
- What was the fuck was that, Kingy?
838
00:42:46,384 --> 00:42:48,899
Nothing's getting into this vehicle.
839
00:42:54,078 --> 00:42:57,164
The troops kept on, without food,
840
00:42:57,626 --> 00:43:00,409
mangled and cut to pieces,
841
00:43:00,455 --> 00:43:03,158
each one caring only for himself.
842
00:43:03,188 --> 00:43:05,233
All subordination had fled
843
00:43:05,479 --> 00:43:08,361
and the soldiers of the
44th English regiment,
844
00:43:08,391 --> 00:43:10,606
now known as the Royal Anglians,
845
00:43:10,616 --> 00:43:13,359
are reported to have
knocked down their officers
846
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,615
with the butts of their muskets.
847
00:43:17,097 --> 00:43:18,989
Absolute scenes...
848
00:43:19,594 --> 00:43:21,300
... as you can imagine.
849
00:43:34,466 --> 00:43:36,619
On the 13th of January,
850
00:43:36,744 --> 00:43:40,309
just seven days after
the retreat commenced,
851
00:43:40,386 --> 00:43:43,361
one man, bloody and torn,
852
00:43:43,407 --> 00:43:46,642
mounted on a miserable pony
and pursued by horsemen,
853
00:43:46,662 --> 00:43:50,262
was seen riding furiously
across the plains to Jalalabad.
854
00:43:50,785 --> 00:43:52,498
That was Dr Brydon,
855
00:43:53,621 --> 00:43:56,759
the sole person to tell the tale
856
00:43:57,374 --> 00:43:59,640
of the passage of Khord-Kabul.
857
00:44:02,106 --> 00:44:04,203
Location ahead, boss.
858
00:44:09,585 --> 00:44:11,600
You called home and
spoke to your parents?
859
00:44:12,389 --> 00:44:14,548
Um, I'll call them at the weekend.
860
00:44:14,733 --> 00:44:16,404
I'm an independent woman now.
861
00:44:16,445 --> 00:44:19,490
- Yeah, but you can still call...
- (HUGE EXPLOSION)
862
00:44:19,503 --> 00:44:20,836
Fuck!
863
00:44:20,961 --> 00:44:22,456
Shit!
864
00:44:23,050 --> 00:44:24,450
Is everyone all right?
865
00:44:24,575 --> 00:44:26,008
We need to get out and help.
866
00:44:26,059 --> 00:44:27,802
Nobody's getting out. Understood?
867
00:44:27,874 --> 00:44:29,366
Call it in, boss.
868
00:44:30,714 --> 00:44:32,000
Boss!
869
00:44:33,497 --> 00:44:36,035
- Zero, this is spike two zero alpha...
- Sure you're OK?
870
00:44:40,873 --> 00:44:42,355
Colour,
871
00:44:43,477 --> 00:44:45,123
the policeman wants us out to help.
872
00:44:45,467 --> 00:44:48,907
- Look, we stay put and await rescue.
- We have to move out!
873
00:44:48,938 --> 00:44:52,030
- There could be a secondary.
- All the other medical staff are risking it.
874
00:44:52,055 --> 00:44:53,999
- People need our help.
- I say we move.
875
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:55,695
There's children... It looks bad!
876
00:44:55,885 --> 00:44:57,654
You need to speak to the Brigadier
877
00:44:57,679 --> 00:45:00,340
- and await instructions!
- Kingy, there are four medically trained
878
00:45:00,371 --> 00:45:02,560
- personnel in this car.
- There could be a secondary!
879
00:45:02,596 --> 00:45:04,185
Just stay the fuck put!
880
00:45:05,195 --> 00:45:07,282
I don't need to speak to the Brigadier.
881
00:45:07,312 --> 00:45:10,628
- I'm the commanding officer here.
- Have you all forgotten your training?
882
00:45:11,981 --> 00:45:13,551
Georgie!
883
00:45:24,523 --> 00:45:26,144
So, as you can hear,
884
00:45:27,170 --> 00:45:31,725
Afghanistan is a complicated beast.
885
00:45:34,324 --> 00:45:36,498
Get yourselves out! Release!
886
00:45:42,538 --> 00:45:44,358
Is everyone all right?
887
00:45:57,288 --> 00:45:58,739
- OK?
- Yeah.
888
00:45:59,939 --> 00:46:01,554
OK, guys. Prepare to move!
889
00:46:06,450 --> 00:46:08,536
(FAINT INSTRUCTIONS)
890
00:46:09,526 --> 00:46:10,936
Georgie?
891
00:46:12,243 --> 00:46:13,852
(KINGY'S VOICE ECHOES) Georgie.
892
00:46:15,062 --> 00:46:16,724
Georgie.
893
00:46:17,139 --> 00:46:20,554
Get... get... get your weapon.
Grab your weapon. Come on.
894
00:46:20,739 --> 00:46:22,185
Let's go.
895
00:46:23,149 --> 00:46:24,410
- Is everyone all right?
- Let's move.
896
00:46:24,426 --> 00:46:25,468
- You OK?
- As quick as you can.
897
00:46:25,492 --> 00:46:26,877
- Are you OK?
- Yeah, good.
898
00:46:26,892 --> 00:46:28,010
Good work, Saunders.
899
00:46:28,035 --> 00:46:29,916
Tourniquet and administer morphine,
900
00:46:29,917 --> 00:46:31,679
write on foreheads so the doctors know.
901
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:33,024
Keep on looking at me, my love.
902
00:46:33,070 --> 00:46:35,290
- Keep looking at me.
- Keep talking, Mimi.
903
00:46:35,415 --> 00:46:38,043
... Looks so cute. Right, leg up for me?
904
00:46:38,168 --> 00:46:40,699
It is not worth it,
mate. It is not worth it.
905
00:46:40,776 --> 00:46:43,124
OK. Now, we'll just put
that there like this.
906
00:46:43,155 --> 00:46:44,467
Look at me.
907
00:46:44,492 --> 00:46:46,212
- I promise you, OK?
- AMERICAN ACCENT: You're supposed to be getting the child
908
00:46:46,225 --> 00:46:48,684
into the hospital, not
reading it a bedtime story!
909
00:46:48,704 --> 00:46:50,134
This is a hot zone, move yourself.
910
00:46:50,165 --> 00:46:52,051
The child would have bled
out if it wasn't for her!
911
00:46:52,075 --> 00:46:54,125
Been here a day and
already a goddamn expert.
912
00:46:54,250 --> 00:46:56,468
So fucking British. Let's move!
913
00:46:57,463 --> 00:46:59,364
Just focus on those with a pulse.
914
00:46:59,384 --> 00:47:01,327
I'll prepare the emergency room.
915
00:47:01,578 --> 00:47:03,479
(SHE SHOUTS INSTRUCTIONS)
916
00:47:05,471 --> 00:47:06,773
As straight as you can.
917
00:47:06,799 --> 00:47:08,013
Is that your daughter?
918
00:47:08,213 --> 00:47:09,961
Keep that straight.
919
00:47:10,997 --> 00:47:12,559
Is that your daughter?
920
00:47:12,684 --> 00:47:13,981
Is that your daughter? She's OK.
921
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:15,472
- She's all right.
- What's happening, medic?
922
00:47:15,493 --> 00:47:18,436
Suspected hemothorax, erratic
breathing, morphine administered.
923
00:47:18,851 --> 00:47:20,999
(WOMAN TRANSLATES)
924
00:47:21,661 --> 00:47:23,931
Sir, we need a bed out here, ASAP.
925
00:47:23,957 --> 00:47:25,244
She needs to get into hospital.
926
00:47:25,254 --> 00:47:27,581
Colour! We need a bed out here ASAP.
927
00:47:28,416 --> 00:47:29,959
I'm on you, then.
928
00:47:34,568 --> 00:47:36,388
Doctor! I need a doctor!
929
00:47:36,403 --> 00:47:38,475
Let's move her along to this cubicle.
930
00:47:39,660 --> 00:47:42,510
- All right, talk to me.
- She's in cardiac arrest.
931
00:47:42,551 --> 00:47:46,022
Suspected hemothorax and I've given
here 10 milligrams of morphine.
932
00:47:46,319 --> 00:47:49,334
OK, let's get a blood pressure
cuff on her, please, and an IV.
933
00:47:51,785 --> 00:47:53,149
Come on.
934
00:47:58,374 --> 00:48:00,045
Pass me the paddles.
935
00:48:02,214 --> 00:48:03,665
Come on! Let's go, let's go, let's go.
936
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:05,119
(DEFIBRILLATOR WHIRS)
937
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:06,755
OK, charging...
938
00:48:07,140 --> 00:48:08,635
Everybody clear.
939
00:48:09,083 --> 00:48:11,899
(PADDLES BEEP)
940
00:48:17,836 --> 00:48:19,328
Come on.
941
00:48:27,459 --> 00:48:29,504
All right, guys. I'm sorry.
I've got to call this.
942
00:48:29,629 --> 00:48:31,114
Time of death...
943
00:48:31,181 --> 00:48:34,016
- 17:29.
- Whoa, whoa. Should I try and... ?
944
00:48:34,141 --> 00:48:36,764
There's just too many other people
that need our help right now.
945
00:48:50,195 --> 00:48:52,439
Were you the guys coming to
see me from the British Army?
946
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:55,115
Yeah, we're meeting the
hospital administrator
947
00:48:55,131 --> 00:48:58,329
- about the vaccination programme.
- Oh, that's me. Hospital administrator
948
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:00,200
and doctor when needs must.
949
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:02,766
Unfortunately, needs
must a lot in my country.
950
00:49:03,157 --> 00:49:06,234
We have plenty for you to get on
with here if you can stay and help.
951
00:49:11,245 --> 00:49:12,875
So where do we think this is?
952
00:49:12,922 --> 00:49:15,022
- Woodstock?
- Woodstock? No.
953
00:49:15,611 --> 00:49:17,754
Isle of Wight rock festival? No.
954
00:49:17,879 --> 00:49:19,784
Some hippie trail somewhere... ?
955
00:49:20,368 --> 00:49:22,075
No, no. This,
956
00:49:22,157 --> 00:49:23,519
this is Kabul.
957
00:49:24,003 --> 00:49:27,705
God's own Afghanistan in 1969.
958
00:49:28,812 --> 00:49:32,380
And this hot chick here...
959
00:49:34,128 --> 00:49:35,517
... is my grandmother.
960
00:49:35,548 --> 00:49:36,959
No way!
961
00:49:37,312 --> 00:49:39,019
And this...
962
00:49:39,768 --> 00:49:41,429
... this bump here...
963
00:49:41,449 --> 00:49:43,290
is my mother,
964
00:49:44,684 --> 00:49:47,319
conceived in Afghan
965
00:49:48,483 --> 00:49:53,338
and just waiting to make
her entrance into the world.
966
00:49:54,004 --> 00:49:56,936
Right, you wazzocks,
that's class dismissed!
967
00:49:57,013 --> 00:49:59,582
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
968
00:50:03,715 --> 00:50:06,181
Scrub yourselves up and get some food.
969
00:50:07,052 --> 00:50:10,472
I'd appreciate if you could do your
After Action Reports this evening.
970
00:50:10,538 --> 00:50:13,405
- Sir.
- You had the ECM in the vehicle, Mr Hurst?
971
00:50:13,415 --> 00:50:14,599
Yes, sir.
972
00:50:15,117 --> 00:50:16,952
Though local forces
973
00:50:17,077 --> 00:50:20,891
seemed to think the secondary
device wasn't detonated by mobile.
974
00:50:23,316 --> 00:50:25,300
There was an Afghan Police Officer, sir,
975
00:50:25,315 --> 00:50:27,694
- trying to call us out of the vehicle...
- Local forces intel
976
00:50:27,710 --> 00:50:29,359
indicating he had a vest...
977
00:50:29,586 --> 00:50:31,047
... self-detonated, sir.
978
00:50:31,114 --> 00:50:34,816
You knew to remain in the vehicle
until instructed to do otherwise?
979
00:50:36,010 --> 00:50:37,240
Indeed, sir.
980
00:50:48,227 --> 00:50:49,749
Colour...
981
00:50:51,918 --> 00:50:53,456
Thank you for not,
982
00:50:54,795 --> 00:50:56,717
you know, in there.
983
00:50:59,383 --> 00:51:00,639
You're the boss.
984
00:51:15,180 --> 00:51:17,599
(MUSIC: PANAMA BY HVOB)
985
00:51:17,984 --> 00:51:20,624
♪ Allay all your fears ♪
986
00:51:20,656 --> 00:51:23,455
♪ I put a bug in your ear ♪
987
00:51:25,602 --> 00:51:28,782
♪ I could use a little help ♪
988
00:51:29,387 --> 00:51:31,627
♪ Around here ♪
989
00:51:45,762 --> 00:51:47,469
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
990
00:51:49,936 --> 00:51:51,515
You OK, Saunders?
991
00:51:52,592 --> 00:51:54,048
Yes, Sarge...
992
00:52:00,949 --> 00:52:03,005
Sorry, Sarge. I'm...
993
00:52:04,379 --> 00:52:06,298
think I'm just a bit knackered.
994
00:52:07,841 --> 00:52:09,789
It takes it out of you, doesn't it?
995
00:52:10,184 --> 00:52:11,568
Yeah.
996
00:52:13,788 --> 00:52:15,254
It's just like...
997
00:52:16,156 --> 00:52:17,399
so...
998
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:19,971
... matter of fact over here.
999
00:52:21,996 --> 00:52:23,680
Did you see all that
blood on the ground?
1000
00:52:25,990 --> 00:52:27,457
Have you called your parents?
1001
00:52:28,057 --> 00:52:29,435
And say what?
1002
00:52:30,117 --> 00:52:32,023
I mean, how am I meant
to explain today to them?
1003
00:52:32,049 --> 00:52:33,449
It'd just freak them out.
1004
00:52:35,079 --> 00:52:37,243
You don't need to say anything.
1005
00:52:37,751 --> 00:52:39,155
I don't.
1006
00:52:40,581 --> 00:52:42,479
It's just nice to hear
their voices, you know.
1007
00:52:42,995 --> 00:52:45,005
And I bet they want to hear yours.
1008
00:52:49,917 --> 00:52:51,189
Right, I'll call them.
1009
00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:52,578
Promise.
1010
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:54,480
OK.
1011
00:52:55,869 --> 00:52:57,294
Well done for today.
1012
00:53:01,278 --> 00:53:03,199
Right, I'm going down for some scoff.
1013
00:53:03,693 --> 00:53:06,774
OK. Well, I'll tell you what.
I'll call them now and then
1014
00:53:06,954 --> 00:53:08,738
I'll join you, if you don't mind.
1015
00:53:08,863 --> 00:53:09,902
OK.
1016
00:53:43,129 --> 00:53:44,609
Oh, here he is!
1017
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:46,559
Professor Stumble.
1018
00:53:46,979 --> 00:53:49,315
So you're an Afghan,
then, basically, Prof.
1019
00:53:49,348 --> 00:53:51,279
How d'you work that
one out, you big melon?
1020
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:53,758
All that stuff about you
and your mum in Kabul.
1021
00:53:53,762 --> 00:53:55,583
So if your nan went
on holiday to Scotland,
1022
00:53:55,604 --> 00:53:57,823
- that'd make you a jock, right?
- I ain't a jock!
1023
00:53:57,864 --> 00:53:59,955
No, you're worse than
that. You're a brummie!
1024
00:53:59,986 --> 00:54:02,339
I ain't a brummie
either! I'm from Wolves!
1025
00:54:02,370 --> 00:54:03,898
And you, you're a pile of sticks!
1026
00:54:03,908 --> 00:54:05,482
Wouldn't last five minutes in Wolves.
1027
00:54:05,493 --> 00:54:07,275
You ever been Manchester, bro?
1028
00:54:08,159 --> 00:54:09,405
Wolves...
1029
00:54:09,718 --> 00:54:12,419
- Manchester...
- Shut up, you knob.
1030
00:54:14,098 --> 00:54:16,437
- You all right, Sarge?
- All right.
1031
00:54:16,562 --> 00:54:17,984
Thank God you're all right!
1032
00:54:18,025 --> 00:54:19,908
- Of course I am.
- Wouldn't want to have to ring the wife
1033
00:54:19,932 --> 00:54:22,213
- and tell her something had happened, would I?
- Shut it.
1034
00:54:25,044 --> 00:54:27,413
What were you saying
about Manchester, you?
1035
00:54:38,594 --> 00:54:39,712
What's happened?
1036
00:54:39,738 --> 00:54:42,681
We just had an Intelligence
briefing with Afghan Special Forces.
1037
00:54:42,727 --> 00:54:44,941
Seems like the Taliban are
targeting the hospital...
1038
00:54:44,977 --> 00:54:46,218
And Dr Bahil.
1039
00:54:46,238 --> 00:54:48,905
- Why?
- She's standing in the elections.
1040
00:54:49,030 --> 00:54:51,750
Her husband was killed last
year. She's taking his place.
1041
00:54:51,945 --> 00:54:54,518
They think it was the local warlord.
1042
00:54:54,575 --> 00:54:55,959
Aatan Omar.
1043
00:54:56,420 --> 00:54:58,062
This guy's our Ace of Hearts.
1044
00:54:58,513 --> 00:55:00,830
He's responsible for most
of the carnage in Kabul.
1045
00:55:01,332 --> 00:55:03,978
He's been MI6's most wanted since 2012,
1046
00:55:04,203 --> 00:55:08,089
when he blew up a UN convoy carrying
medical supplies to Kandahar.
1047
00:55:09,079 --> 00:55:10,304
Oh, my God.
1048
00:55:10,356 --> 00:55:14,492
He was behind the Special
Forces fatality in Kabul, sir.
1049
00:55:14,518 --> 00:55:15,720
Elvis Harte?
1050
00:55:19,967 --> 00:55:21,259
Yeah.
1051
00:55:22,352 --> 00:55:24,213
We were on that mission, boss.
1052
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:32,079
(SHE PANTS)
1053
00:55:32,396 --> 00:55:33,585
Where's everyone?
1054
00:55:34,851 --> 00:55:36,247
He says Omar's not here!
1055
00:55:36,308 --> 00:55:38,239
We are approximately nine fatalities.
1056
00:55:38,314 --> 00:55:39,965
Urgent evacuation required.
1057
00:55:43,754 --> 00:55:46,040
Suspected IED on the rooftop.
1058
00:55:48,055 --> 00:55:50,239
- (PHONE RINGS)
- (LOUD BLAST)
1059
00:55:50,542 --> 00:55:52,439
Elvis!
1060
00:55:53,049 --> 00:55:54,617
Elvis!
1061
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:26,759
(LOUD BLAST)
1062
00:56:27,208 --> 00:56:29,721
Double AP suicide bomb blast
1063
00:56:29,846 --> 00:56:31,551
outside the Kabul hospital.
1064
00:56:31,577 --> 00:56:34,278
Organised by local warlord Aatan Omar.
1065
00:56:34,403 --> 00:56:36,263
We need to be the ones
out there protecting her,
1066
00:56:36,268 --> 00:56:38,267
not leaving it to the Afghan police.
1067
00:56:38,339 --> 00:56:40,389
(LOCALS SHOUT ANGRILY)
1068
00:56:41,153 --> 00:56:44,070
If you're supposed to be helping,
leave me to deal with the situation.
1069
00:56:44,096 --> 00:56:45,337
They think we're poisoning them.
1070
00:56:45,352 --> 00:56:47,131
This is all about Dr Bahil, is it?
1071
00:56:47,202 --> 00:56:49,279
Nothing to do with
Omar and Captain Harte?
1072
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:51,856
Our primary mission is
to keep Dr Bahil safe.
1073
00:56:51,908 --> 00:56:54,901
Keep moving. Stay in the vehicle.
1074
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:02,235
Monk, Kingy! On me! On me!
1075
00:57:03,489 --> 00:57:07,238
- Coming through! Coming through!
- We're being ambushed. Move! Move!
1076
00:57:07,243 --> 00:57:09,524
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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