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1
00:00:09,367 --> 00:00:11,266
Doesn't she also have
No boys at forever?
2
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,367
Don't you have an eating
disorder you need to attend to?
3
00:00:13,401 --> 00:00:17,504
Yeah, anyway, uh,
we could see the 4:00 or the 6:20.
4
00:00:17,538 --> 00:00:18,704
Oh, actually, that's no good.
5
00:00:18,738 --> 00:00:20,172
I'm meeting my friend
denise for a drink.
6
00:00:20,206 --> 00:00:22,073
Denise? Do I know denise?
7
00:00:22,107 --> 00:00:24,174
Yeah, you know, my old girlfriend.
Oh, my god. Gross.
8
00:00:24,208 --> 00:00:26,208
I can't even picture
you with a woman.
9
00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:27,576
Thank you.
10
00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:28,843
You had a girlfriend before mom?
11
00:00:28,878 --> 00:00:30,011
Try two.
12
00:00:30,045 --> 00:00:32,746
Trust me. I had plenty
of fun in my time.
13
00:00:32,780 --> 00:00:34,213
And then I met your mom.
14
00:00:34,248 --> 00:00:35,847
And thank you.
15
00:00:37,416 --> 00:00:40,084
So, uh, I guess she travels
around selling makeup
16
00:00:40,118 --> 00:00:41,417
For a cosmetics company.
17
00:00:41,452 --> 00:00:42,819
She's in town for a week.
18
00:00:42,853 --> 00:00:45,020
You mean she's like a
door-to-door salesman?
19
00:00:45,054 --> 00:00:46,454
If you were doing it,
20
00:00:46,488 --> 00:00:48,588
They'd call it a
dork-to-dork salesman.
21
00:00:48,623 --> 00:00:50,090
Ohh!
22
00:00:50,124 --> 00:00:52,424
My boy strikes like a rattlesnake!
23
00:00:52,459 --> 00:00:55,793
Oh, yeah? Well -- well, you...
24
00:00:55,828 --> 00:00:58,228
Wow. All right, well,
we can see the movie tomorrow.
25
00:00:58,263 --> 00:00:59,996
Come on. It's time for your lesson.
26
00:01:00,030 --> 00:01:03,597
You mean her second lesson,
because she just got schooled.
27
00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:06,933
What's wrong with me today?
28
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:08,034
Shake it off, champ.
29
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,468
It's not your day.
30
00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:11,168
Hey.
31
00:01:11,203 --> 00:01:12,603
Ay.
32
00:01:12,638 --> 00:01:15,238
Good morning, papi. Is it?
33
00:01:15,273 --> 00:01:18,140
Aw, you're still sad
because of that audition.
34
00:01:18,174 --> 00:01:20,742
That part was mine.
I was born to play tevye.
35
00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:22,576
Instead they give
it to rod jackson?
36
00:01:22,610 --> 00:01:24,277
What does he know from suffering?
37
00:01:24,311 --> 00:01:25,378
How we doing?
38
00:01:25,412 --> 00:01:26,611
A little better,
39
00:01:26,646 --> 00:01:29,113
But we're gonna go and throw
ice cream at the problem.
40
00:01:29,147 --> 00:01:31,814
Well, if that doesn't work,
this should do the trick.
41
00:01:31,849 --> 00:01:34,516
"what doesn't kill us
makes us stronger."
42
00:01:34,551 --> 00:01:35,851
We can hang this in your room.
43
00:01:35,885 --> 00:01:37,752
You can see it every morning,
start to internalize it.
44
00:01:37,786 --> 00:01:39,319
Pretty soon,
nothing will keep you down.
45
00:01:39,353 --> 00:01:41,087
But it's not true.
What are you talking about?
46
00:01:41,122 --> 00:01:43,222
Lots of stuff that doesn't
kill you makes you weaker.
47
00:01:43,256 --> 00:01:45,189
My friend's grandfather
had a heart attack.
48
00:01:45,224 --> 00:01:46,757
Now he needs a machine to breathe.
49
00:01:46,791 --> 00:01:48,292
I've seen him at the supermarket.
50
00:01:48,326 --> 00:01:50,526
Now he needs to drive one
of those little, like...
51
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:53,094
Yeah, that's right. Be negative.
52
00:01:53,129 --> 00:01:55,863
It's just not a good poster, jay.
53
00:01:55,897 --> 00:01:57,830
You're only making me stronger.
54
00:01:58,805 --> 00:02:08,070
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
55
00:02:10,573 --> 00:02:12,139
Did you pack the, uh,
bread for the ducks?
56
00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:13,473
Yes.
57
00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,441
Not the whole-wheat kind.
The ducks don't like that.
58
00:02:15,475 --> 00:02:17,042
They're ducks, mitchell.
They don't care.
59
00:02:17,076 --> 00:02:18,376
We both believe that animals
60
00:02:18,411 --> 00:02:20,244
Should play a big
part in lily's life.
61
00:02:20,278 --> 00:02:22,712
Having grown up on a farm,
I was surrounded by them.
62
00:02:22,746 --> 00:02:24,446
They were more like
brothers and sisters
63
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,847
Than just, you ow, livestock.
64
00:02:26,949 --> 00:02:28,783
Delicious brothers and sisters.
65
00:02:28,817 --> 00:02:30,951
Life on a farm -- they know
what they're getting into.
66
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,185
Eesh.
67
00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:36,387
Wait. Oh, it's the office.
68
00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:38,155
Don't answer it. I have to.
69
00:02:38,189 --> 00:02:40,089
It's like this every Saturday.
Just ignore it.
70
00:02:40,123 --> 00:02:41,657
Well, maybe it's
not that this time.
71
00:02:41,692 --> 00:02:43,792
Hello?
72
00:02:46,027 --> 00:02:47,460
Yeah.
73
00:02:54,932 --> 00:02:56,299
That's nice.
74
00:02:59,735 --> 00:03:01,135
Holy...
75
00:03:01,170 --> 00:03:03,770
Shel? You all right, buddy?
76
00:03:06,673 --> 00:03:08,540
Oh, there's four of them, mitchell!
77
00:03:08,574 --> 00:03:10,407
They're giving her
little duck kisses,
78
00:03:10,442 --> 00:03:11,809
And she -- oh, she's laughing!
79
00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:13,409
I can't believe
you're missing this.
80
00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,477
Well, why not, cam?
I've missed everything else.
81
00:03:15,511 --> 00:03:17,144
She rolled over when
I was in phoenix.
82
00:03:17,179 --> 00:03:18,946
She started scooting
en I was in court.
83
00:03:18,981 --> 00:03:21,247
Well, just tell them
you're not coming in.
84
00:03:21,282 --> 00:03:22,615
You do enough for them.
85
00:03:22,649 --> 00:03:26,150
Well, you know that,
I know that, you know?
86
00:03:26,185 --> 00:03:29,852
The only one who doesn't
know that is my sucky boss.
87
00:03:29,886 --> 00:03:32,187
He's the suckiest suck of all time.
88
00:03:32,221 --> 00:03:35,656
He's a miserable son
of a bitch who...
89
00:03:35,690 --> 00:03:40,392
May have heard
everything I just said.
90
00:03:46,921 --> 00:03:48,854
When are you getting
together with your gal pal?
91
00:03:48,889 --> 00:03:50,155
Actually, I was just
checking on that.
92
00:03:50,189 --> 00:03:51,489
She's supposed to
send me a message.
93
00:03:51,524 --> 00:03:53,524
Ohh. You're facebook friends.
94
00:03:53,591 --> 00:03:54,891
Sure am. Oh...
95
00:03:54,925 --> 00:03:57,759
She's one of my 447 friends.
96
00:03:57,794 --> 00:03:58,928
Everybody wants a slice.
97
00:03:59,362 --> 00:04:01,362
How long have you two been
in touch with each other?
98
00:04:01,397 --> 00:04:03,463
Uh, she tracked me
down about a year ago.
99
00:04:03,498 --> 00:04:05,832
Mm. Mm, mm.
100
00:04:05,866 --> 00:04:07,433
What? What's -- what's that sound?
101
00:04:07,466 --> 00:04:09,167
Mm. Nothing.
102
00:04:09,202 --> 00:04:11,235
Oh. There she is right now.
103
00:04:12,470 --> 00:04:16,605
"how about we meet
at le reve at 7:30?"
104
00:04:16,639 --> 00:04:18,439
Well, that sounds innocent enough.
105
00:04:18,473 --> 00:04:20,340
I mean, drinks with
an ex-girlfriend
106
00:04:20,374 --> 00:04:22,175
At an intimate french restaurant.
107
00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:23,342
Honey, you're doing that thing
108
00:04:23,376 --> 00:04:24,643
Where you say what
I want you to say
109
00:04:24,678 --> 00:04:26,711
But your tone seems mean.
110
00:04:26,745 --> 00:04:29,847
Let me guess -
denise isn't married.
111
00:04:29,881 --> 00:04:31,814
Recently divorced.
What's the big deal?
112
00:04:31,849 --> 00:04:34,482
Come on, phil.
You can't be that naive.
113
00:04:34,517 --> 00:04:37,151
Seriously, women in their 30s
on the internet are like --
114
00:04:37,185 --> 00:04:38,184
They're like ninjas.
115
00:04:38,219 --> 00:04:39,819
They get in their
little black outfits
116
00:04:39,854 --> 00:04:41,854
And try and sneak their
way into your marriage.
117
00:04:41,888 --> 00:04:43,187
That's not denise. Mm.
118
00:04:43,222 --> 00:04:45,156
Here, read some of her messages.
119
00:04:45,190 --> 00:04:46,289
You're gonna feel silly.
120
00:04:46,324 --> 00:04:48,190
Go ahead.
121
00:04:48,225 --> 00:04:50,159
"hey, phil. How's it goin'?"
122
00:04:50,193 --> 00:04:51,893
You can't add the sexy voice.
123
00:04:51,927 --> 00:04:53,393
"hi, phil. How's it going?"
124
00:04:53,428 --> 00:04:56,262
"so glad to hear
your neck is bette"
125
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,763
Are you seriously jealous?
126
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,564
no! I am not jealous at all.
127
00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:01,498
I just happen to know
women better than you do,
128
00:05:01,533 --> 00:05:03,466
And that woman wants a slice.
129
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:05,235
Okay, just to prove
how wrong you are,
130
00:05:05,269 --> 00:05:07,135
I'm gonna invite her
over here for drinks.
131
00:05:07,170 --> 00:05:08,402
Fine with me.
132
00:05:08,437 --> 00:05:09,904
Just hope it's fine with denise.
133
00:05:09,938 --> 00:05:11,338
"gee, phil.
134
00:05:11,372 --> 00:05:13,372
I really had my heart
set on le reve."
135
00:05:13,406 --> 00:05:15,607
That voice doesn't bother me.
136
00:05:15,641 --> 00:05:17,508
Kind of like it!
137
00:05:17,543 --> 00:05:19,376
Well, has he been
acting weird around you?
138
00:05:19,410 --> 00:05:21,110
No, no. I've been
avoiding him all morning.
139
00:05:21,144 --> 00:05:22,745
So you don't even
know if he heard you.
140
00:05:22,779 --> 00:05:24,746
Well, that's why we're doing this.
141
00:05:24,780 --> 00:05:27,481
Hey, where are you?
I only have a half-hour for lunch.
142
00:05:29,283 --> 00:05:30,483
Hello, handsome.
143
00:05:30,517 --> 00:05:32,150
Okay, so, uh,
this is where it happened.
144
00:05:32,185 --> 00:05:33,918
Just, um, turn off the phone,
roll down the window,
145
00:05:33,952 --> 00:05:35,386
And we'll -- we'll see
if you can hear me.
146
00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:36,653
Okay.
147
00:05:37,855 --> 00:05:41,055
Go around! We're
re-creating a faux pas!
148
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,257
Thank you!
149
00:05:42,291 --> 00:05:44,691
Okay. C-can you hear me now?
150
00:05:44,726 --> 00:05:46,826
Uh, yeah, but just barely.
Is this how loud you were talking?
151
00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:48,693
Uh, well, it might have
been a little bit louder.
152
00:05:48,728 --> 00:05:50,495
There was traffic.
I mean, I almost had to shout.
153
00:05:50,529 --> 00:05:51,829
You almost had to what? Shout.
154
00:05:51,863 --> 00:05:53,329
Little bit louder now. Shout!
155
00:05:53,364 --> 00:05:54,898
Little bit louder now. Shout!!
156
00:05:54,932 --> 00:05:56,899
* hey, hey, hey, hey *
157
00:05:56,933 --> 00:05:58,000
Really, cam?
158
00:05:58,034 --> 00:05:59,667
My job is at stake here and --
159
00:05:59,701 --> 00:06:00,967
Oh, w-who are we kidding?
160
00:06:01,002 --> 00:06:03,802
You can obviously hear me.
I am so screwed.
161
00:06:05,238 --> 00:06:07,071
Manny?
162
00:06:07,106 --> 00:06:08,605
Manny, come here a second, pal.
163
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:09,773
Huh?
164
00:06:09,807 --> 00:06:11,140
I got some bad news, buddy.
165
00:06:11,174 --> 00:06:12,074
What iit?
166
00:06:12,109 --> 00:06:14,376
Well, there's no
easy way to say this.
167
00:06:15,478 --> 00:06:19,178
Shel turtlestein is dead.
168
00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,979
I was down here reading the paper,
169
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:23,448
And I heard this commotion
up in your room, so...
170
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:25,516
So naturally I go running up there.
171
00:06:25,550 --> 00:06:28,984
And this mangy raccoon had
busted through your screen.
172
00:06:29,019 --> 00:06:31,085
He must have scampered
up to where shel was.
173
00:06:33,355 --> 00:06:34,955
By the time I walked in,
he had him --
174
00:06:34,989 --> 00:06:37,023
The little bastard had him
by the neck, shaking him.
175
00:06:37,057 --> 00:06:39,891
Gravel's flying everywhere.
176
00:06:39,926 --> 00:06:40,992
He didn't even flinch.
177
00:06:41,027 --> 00:06:42,893
He just stared at me
with that smug look
178
00:06:42,928 --> 00:06:44,360
And then bolted.
179
00:06:44,395 --> 00:06:47,930
If only I'd have got here earlier.
180
00:06:47,964 --> 00:06:49,630
May I see the body?
181
00:06:49,665 --> 00:06:51,464
Baby, are you sure
that's a good idea?
182
00:06:51,499 --> 00:06:52,933
It's something I have to do.
183
00:06:55,702 --> 00:06:57,435
That's him. Sorry, pal.
184
00:06:57,469 --> 00:06:59,202
It just doesn' make any sense.
185
00:06:59,237 --> 00:07:00,704
Yep. Only the good die young.
186
00:07:00,738 --> 00:07:02,672
But in school we leaed
raccoons are nocturnal.
187
00:07:02,706 --> 00:07:04,039
They sleep during the day.
188
00:07:04,073 --> 00:07:05,941
They sure do,
and this one must've got up
189
00:07:05,975 --> 00:07:07,107
For a midnight snack.
190
00:07:07,142 --> 00:07:08,375
You know, we've all done that.
191
00:07:08,410 --> 00:07:09,709
I guess so. Yeah.
192
00:07:09,743 --> 00:07:11,010
It all adds up.
193
00:07:11,045 --> 00:07:13,011
I don't think I can
be in here right now.
194
00:07:13,046 --> 00:07:14,745
Too many memories.
195
00:07:14,780 --> 00:07:17,213
He'll be okay.
196
00:07:18,282 --> 00:07:19,949
You lie. What?
197
00:07:19,983 --> 00:07:21,083
I'm colombian.
198
00:07:21,117 --> 00:07:23,584
I know a fake crime
scene when I see one!
199
00:07:23,619 --> 00:07:26,552
I was hanging up the new poster.
200
00:07:26,586 --> 00:07:28,354
And it fell on top of him.
It was an accident.
201
00:07:28,388 --> 00:07:29,788
You have to tell him.
202
00:07:29,822 --> 00:07:31,423
No. I've been through this before.
203
00:07:31,457 --> 00:07:32,489
When mitchell was 9,
204
00:07:32,524 --> 00:07:34,324
I was suosed to take
care of his bird.
205
00:07:34,358 --> 00:07:36,459
It got out and flew into a fan.
206
00:07:36,493 --> 00:07:38,293
It was like a bloody pillow fight.
207
00:07:38,328 --> 00:07:40,661
My god. How many pets have
you killed? Just the two.
208
00:07:40,696 --> 00:07:42,662
I took the heat on the bird.
It was a big mistake.
209
00:07:42,697 --> 00:07:45,164
To this day, mitchell looks at me,
I see him thinking,
210
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,198
"that's the guy who
killed fly-za minnelli."
211
00:07:47,232 --> 00:07:49,333
And what if he finds out?
Then what?
212
00:07:49,367 --> 00:07:52,335
You'll be the guy that killed
his pet and lied to him.
213
00:07:52,369 --> 00:07:54,936
He's not gonna find out,
because I covered my tracks.
214
00:07:54,971 --> 00:07:57,404
Okay.
215
00:07:58,440 --> 00:07:59,639
Fly-za minnelli?
216
00:07:59,673 --> 00:08:02,274
How did I not know
that kid was gay?
217
00:08:04,177 --> 00:08:06,577
Hey, luke! Big day for you, huh?
218
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,911
Why?
219
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:10,679
Because you get to meet
your real mom. What?
220
00:08:10,714 --> 00:08:13,815
We all made a pact we'd
deny it until you turned 21,
221
00:08:13,849 --> 00:08:15,916
But that's the real reason
222
00:08:15,950 --> 00:08:17,750
Dad's old girlfriend
is coming over.
223
00:08:17,784 --> 00:08:19,918
She's your mom,
and if she likes you,
224
00:08:19,952 --> 00:08:21,486
You'll go live with her.
225
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:22,920
I'm not adopted.
226
00:08:22,954 --> 00:08:24,454
I'm asking mom.
227
00:08:24,488 --> 00:08:26,155
You mean mrs. Dunphy?
228
00:08:26,190 --> 00:08:27,956
She's not going to
tell you the truth.
229
00:08:27,991 --> 00:08:29,657
I-I-I'm not...
230
00:08:29,691 --> 00:08:32,425
I know. Unh!
231
00:08:34,694 --> 00:08:39,097
Just 'cause he called you
a dork-to-dork salesman?
232
00:08:39,131 --> 00:08:41,365
The empire strikes back.
233
00:08:41,399 --> 00:08:43,632
Raccoons have five toes.
234
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:44,699
What's that?
235
00:08:44,734 --> 00:08:46,234
I don't mean to bother you.
236
00:08:46,268 --> 00:08:47,501
It's just confusing.
237
00:08:47,535 --> 00:08:50,036
The footprints in my
room only have four toes.
238
00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:52,270
You know, I bet I know wt happened.
239
00:08:52,305 --> 00:08:55,473
I'll bet he lost those
toes in a fight.
240
00:08:55,507 --> 00:08:57,941
And that guy looked like
he'd been in a brawl or two.
241
00:08:57,975 --> 00:08:59,409
One toe from each foot?
242
00:08:59,443 --> 00:09:00,442
Maybe.
243
00:09:00,477 --> 00:09:01,844
Y-you know, manny,
244
00:09:01,878 --> 00:09:04,078
I think the only thing
that's gonna get you
245
00:09:04,113 --> 00:09:05,879
To stop asking all these questions
246
00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:08,414
Is for you to have a little closure.
What do you mean?
247
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:10,949
Well, I'd like to throw a
little memorial for shel.
248
00:09:10,983 --> 00:09:12,549
It'll be good for all of us.
249
00:09:12,584 --> 00:09:14,418
That way, we get our grief out,
250
00:09:14,452 --> 00:09:17,753
And then we never have to
talk about this ever...
251
00:09:17,787 --> 00:09:20,121
Ever again.
252
00:09:23,090 --> 00:09:25,124
hi!
253
00:09:25,158 --> 00:09:26,692
Oh, careful, there's a thing.
Ooh. That's a...
254
00:09:26,726 --> 00:09:28,359
good to see you.
255
00:09:28,394 --> 00:09:29,460
Hi!
256
00:09:29,495 --> 00:09:32,461
Hi! Oh, my gosh! Hi, I'm claire.
257
00:09:32,496 --> 00:09:34,430
You must be d-- o-kay.
258
00:09:34,464 --> 00:09:35,597
Whoa. Okay. Denise.
259
00:09:35,631 --> 00:09:37,232
Oh, and you're even prettier
260
00:09:37,266 --> 00:09:39,600
Than the pictures that
phil's always posting.
261
00:09:39,634 --> 00:09:40,867
Just a couple.
262
00:09:40,901 --> 00:09:43,969
Shut up. Every week.
He loves showing you off.
263
00:09:44,003 --> 00:09:45,603
My boyfriend likes
your acapulco pictures
264
00:09:45,637 --> 00:09:46,771
Probably a little too much.
265
00:09:48,072 --> 00:09:50,105
Well, thank your
boyfriend for me. Sure.
266
00:09:50,140 --> 00:09:51,273
Come on in. Plea.
267
00:09:51,307 --> 00:09:52,673
Oh, I brought you, um,
268
00:09:52,708 --> 00:09:55,675
Some lifting intensifier.
269
00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:56,676
Not that you need it.
270
00:09:56,711 --> 00:09:58,110
It's a limited edition, so...
271
00:09:58,145 --> 00:09:59,512
Thank you. Thank you.
272
00:09:59,546 --> 00:10:01,679
Oh, denise, I think you
might know these people.
273
00:10:01,714 --> 00:10:03,147
That's haley... Hi.
274
00:10:03,181 --> 00:10:04,348
...Alex, and --
275
00:10:04,382 --> 00:10:05,915
Luke! Ohh!
276
00:10:05,949 --> 00:10:09,051
I had curly hair just like
that when I was little.
277
00:10:10,252 --> 00:10:12,386
So? That doesn't mean anything!
278
00:10:15,256 --> 00:10:18,790
Why don't we, uh, come on in,
have a seat? Please.
279
00:10:18,824 --> 00:10:20,824
So, what was my dad
like in high school?
280
00:10:20,858 --> 00:10:23,292
Only the most amazing
breakdancer ever.
281
00:10:23,326 --> 00:10:24,960
Uh-oh. Don't fire it up.
282
00:10:24,995 --> 00:10:26,628
What? What? Uh-oh.
283
00:10:26,662 --> 00:10:28,295
Oh, no. Yeah.
284
00:10:28,329 --> 00:10:30,630
He had a boombox and a piece
of cardboard in his locker.
285
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:32,799
And what was your dance name?
O-zone. Yeah.
286
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,499
I drove him to a "star
search" audition.
287
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,267
Which is totally political,
by the way.
288
00:10:36,401 --> 00:10:39,002
O-zone. That is dead-ass funny.
289
00:10:39,036 --> 00:10:40,470
I'm so calling you that.
290
00:10:40,503 --> 00:10:41,470
Thank you.
291
00:10:41,538 --> 00:10:43,571
Wow. You really lucked out.
292
00:10:43,605 --> 00:10:45,473
You have a beautiful wife... Ohh.
293
00:10:45,507 --> 00:10:47,307
...A gorgeous house,
and those kids.
294
00:10:47,341 --> 00:10:49,008
I could take luke home with me.
295
00:10:49,042 --> 00:10:51,076
Well, be my guest.
296
00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:52,410
Seriously. You go right ahead.
297
00:10:53,545 --> 00:10:54,478
No!
298
00:10:54,512 --> 00:10:56,379
I like it here!
299
00:10:56,413 --> 00:10:58,447
Unh!
300
00:10:58,481 --> 00:10:59,915
Alex, honey, will you go find out
301
00:10:59,949 --> 00:11:01,315
What's wrong with your brother?
302
00:11:01,349 --> 00:11:03,416
Okay.
303
00:11:03,451 --> 00:11:05,085
You know, um, it's okay,
304
00:11:05,119 --> 00:11:06,752
I think I'm just
gonna use the, um...
305
00:11:06,786 --> 00:11:08,020
Oh, yeah, of course.
306
00:11:08,054 --> 00:11:10,455
Down the hall, left-hand side.
You can't miss it.
307
00:11:10,489 --> 00:11:12,722
Thanks.
308
00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:16,257
Okay, she's fantastic. Yes?
309
00:11:16,292 --> 00:11:17,425
Yes. I feel awful.
310
00:11:20,195 --> 00:11:22,361
Who assumes the worst about people?
311
00:11:22,396 --> 00:11:24,963
I first noticed it seven
years - you're not.
312
00:11:24,997 --> 00:11:27,565
I'm such an idiot. Is it...
313
00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:28,965
Oh, I'll show you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
314
00:11:28,999 --> 00:11:32,201
Okay. Thanks.
315
00:11:34,002 --> 00:11:35,803
so, how are we gonna do this?
316
00:11:35,838 --> 00:11:38,038
I-I thought I'd just
point at the door,
317
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,673
So I was thinking,
like -- I was thinking, too.
318
00:11:40,707 --> 00:11:42,240
Here...
319
00:11:42,274 --> 00:11:44,475
Is my hotel-room key.
320
00:11:44,509 --> 00:11:47,743
You can come by whenever you want.
321
00:11:56,746 --> 00:11:58,946
When I -- when I pulled up
next to you at that stoplight?
322
00:11:58,981 --> 00:12:00,081
Funny? Yeah.
323
00:12:00,115 --> 00:12:02,349
Because I was on the
phone with my partner,
324
00:12:02,383 --> 00:12:04,684
Talking about how horrible
his boss was -- his.
325
00:12:04,718 --> 00:12:06,484
And then, uh, you pull up, so...
326
00:12:06,519 --> 00:12:07,886
Anyway, I'm glad I ran into you.
327
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,087
I'm getting worried they're
gonna move up our court date.
328
00:12:10,121 --> 00:12:12,455
I-I need you to bust ass preparing.
329
00:12:12,489 --> 00:12:14,189
Because if they
call us on Monday --
330
00:12:14,223 --> 00:12:15,958
uh, you need to get that?
331
00:12:15,992 --> 00:12:18,526
No, no, it's -- it's fine.
I just, uh...
332
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:20,660
Picture of my daughter
standing for the first time.
333
00:12:20,695 --> 00:12:22,227
Yeah, they do that. It's a big day.
334
00:12:22,262 --> 00:12:24,095
Anyway, I need you here tomorrow.
335
00:12:24,129 --> 00:12:25,930
Now, I know it's a Sunday, but, uh,
336
00:12:25,965 --> 00:12:27,831
You think you can be on time, okay?
337
00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:31,000
Actually, um...
338
00:12:31,034 --> 00:12:32,600
I-I have plans tomorrow.
339
00:12:32,635 --> 00:12:34,702
Uh, so I won't be here.
340
00:12:34,736 --> 00:12:37,870
I-I have plans to stay
at home with my family
341
00:12:37,905 --> 00:12:40,739
And do absolutely nothing, okay.
342
00:12:40,773 --> 00:12:42,807
But I will see you
on Monday. Mm-hmm.
343
00:12:42,841 --> 00:12:45,141
So -- so you're in charge now,
is that it?
344
00:12:45,176 --> 00:12:46,942
Well, I-I just figure if
my daughter can stand up,
345
00:12:46,977 --> 00:12:48,110
Then so can I.
346
00:12:48,144 --> 00:12:50,578
All right, look...
347
00:12:50,612 --> 00:12:52,446
We've all been working
hard lately, okay?
348
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,680
But that's the job.
349
00:12:53,715 --> 00:12:55,147
So either come in tomorrow,
350
00:12:55,182 --> 00:12:56,515
Or don't bother coming back again.
351
00:12:59,317 --> 00:13:00,784
Okay.
352
00:13:06,122 --> 00:13:07,588
Hmm.
353
00:13:11,858 --> 00:13:14,192
Need the, uh, I.D. To... Uh-huh.
354
00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:16,394
...Make the elevator go
down to freedom!
355
00:13:17,595 --> 00:13:20,930
And this, to complete my set.
356
00:13:24,133 --> 00:13:28,001
"turtle. Reptile. Pet.
357
00:13:28,035 --> 00:13:31,869
Shel turtlestein was many things."
358
00:13:31,903 --> 00:13:34,005
I don't think I can do
this without crying.
359
00:13:34,039 --> 00:13:36,039
Maybe we should just
get to the cold cuts.
360
00:13:36,073 --> 00:13:39,440
But we want to hear it.
Jay, why don't you read it?
361
00:13:39,475 --> 00:13:41,975
You were with him at the end.
362
00:13:42,010 --> 00:13:43,610
Remember?
363
00:13:50,315 --> 00:13:52,215
"shel turtlestein was many things,
364
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:53,883
"but above all, he was my friend.
365
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:56,018
"when I didn't get a date
with fiona gunderson,
366
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,485
"shel was there.
367
00:13:57,519 --> 00:13:59,420
"when I didn't get to
play the part of tevye,
368
00:13:59,454 --> 00:14:01,121
"shel was there.
369
00:14:01,155 --> 00:14:03,122
"and when a raccoon
broke into my room,
370
00:14:03,156 --> 00:14:05,823
"unfortunately, shel was there.
371
00:14:05,858 --> 00:14:07,290
"I said a lot of
things to my friend,
372
00:14:07,325 --> 00:14:09,892
"but the one thing I
never got to say was...
373
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:10,993
Goodbye."
374
00:14:11,028 --> 00:14:12,494
Stop!
375
00:14:12,528 --> 00:14:14,562
I know what really
happened. You do?
376
00:14:14,597 --> 00:14:16,196
I left a bag of chips near my bed.
377
00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:17,797
The raccoon must have smelled it.
378
00:14:17,831 --> 00:14:20,032
It's my fault he's dead.
379
00:14:20,066 --> 00:14:22,833
sorry, shel.
380
00:14:22,868 --> 00:14:26,269
Jay, you don't have
anything to say to manny?
381
00:14:26,303 --> 00:14:29,438
yeah.
382
00:14:30,606 --> 00:14:33,006
Manny...
383
00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:38,977
Shel forgives you.
384
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:41,578
Thank you.
385
00:14:42,946 --> 00:14:45,247
Oh, denise. Ha!
386
00:14:45,281 --> 00:14:48,015
These pictures are amazing.
Thank you.
387
00:14:48,050 --> 00:14:50,650
Wow. Sweetie, that perm.
388
00:14:50,684 --> 00:14:52,885
Technically,
it's a jheri curl. Ohh.
389
00:14:52,919 --> 00:14:54,420
I just love to takpictures.
390
00:14:54,454 --> 00:14:56,087
I took this one of myself today.
391
00:15:01,491 --> 00:15:03,725
No. No. That's the worst idea.
392
00:15:03,759 --> 00:15:04,959
No. No.
393
00:15:04,994 --> 00:15:06,627
Oh!
394
00:15:06,661 --> 00:15:08,661
What am I, raised
by a pack of wolves?
395
00:15:08,695 --> 00:15:10,429
Hey, come on, now.
396
00:15:10,463 --> 00:15:12,863
Honey...
397
00:15:12,898 --> 00:15:14,765
You weren't completely
wrong about denise.
398
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,366
How's that? She wants me.
399
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,435
To do what? It. Her.
400
00:15:19,469 --> 00:15:21,436
Oh. Oh, this is because
of the thing I said
401
00:15:21,470 --> 00:15:23,470
About facebook and that
erybody's hooking up,
402
00:15:23,504 --> 00:15:24,905
And now you're disappointed.
403
00:15:24,939 --> 00:15:27,139
No. She bit the air
right in front of me!
404
00:15:27,174 --> 00:15:28,440
Like that. What?
405
00:15:28,507 --> 00:15:30,207
And then look what
she tried to give me.
406
00:15:30,241 --> 00:15:31,575
Anything I can help with?
407
00:15:31,609 --> 00:15:33,776
No, I just - I can't
find my corkscrew.
408
00:15:33,811 --> 00:15:36,244
Ohh.
409
00:15:36,279 --> 00:15:37,479
Touch me. O-kay.
410
00:15:37,513 --> 00:15:39,046
Denise, I think,
somewhere along the line,
411
00:15:39,081 --> 00:15:40,147
You got the wrong idea.
412
00:15:40,182 --> 00:15:42,082
My head is full of wrong ideas.
413
00:15:42,116 --> 00:15:44,783
You have such great taste, claire.
414
00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:45,983
Thank you.
415
00:15:46,018 --> 00:15:48,852
I remember phil used to
have really good taste, too.
416
00:15:48,886 --> 00:15:50,619
Get a little bit of this.
Oh, here it is.
417
00:15:50,654 --> 00:15:53,121
Phil, would you mind grabbing
us a couple glasses? You betcha.
418
00:15:53,155 --> 00:15:55,290
Need me to grab anything? Nope!
419
00:15:55,324 --> 00:15:56,924
Okay, this is so wrong.
420
00:15:56,958 --> 00:15:59,225
I know. It's way more exciting
when she's in the room.
421
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:00,126
No!
422
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,893
I still have my cheerleader outfit.
423
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:04,161
So do I, but this
still can't happen.
424
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:05,762
When did that break?
425
00:16:05,796 --> 00:16:07,797
Why are you wussing out?!
426
00:16:07,832 --> 00:16:08,997
I never wussed in!
427
00:16:09,032 --> 00:16:11,099
What about all those things
you wrote on facebook?
428
00:16:11,133 --> 00:16:13,400
"how was your day?
My neck is so sore."
429
00:16:13,434 --> 00:16:15,068
Why do people keep adding
voices to these things?
430
00:16:15,103 --> 00:16:16,302
I didn't mean anything.
431
00:16:16,336 --> 00:16:18,303
are you telling me
that I wasted a year
432
00:16:18,337 --> 00:16:19,571
Of my life on this relationship?
433
00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:20,572
What relationship?
434
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,306
How many other women
have you led on?
435
00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:23,639
Now I don't know!
436
00:16:23,674 --> 00:16:24,907
Phil?
437
00:16:27,677 --> 00:16:30,111
Phil, honey?
438
00:16:30,145 --> 00:16:31,945
Do you remember when
you broke your arm
439
00:16:31,979 --> 00:16:33,113
When we were first dating?
440
00:16:33,147 --> 00:16:36,013
Yeah, uh, when I
slipped on the ice.
441
00:16:36,048 --> 00:16:37,315
Right. That's so weird.
442
00:16:37,349 --> 00:16:39,516
Because in this picture,
you're sitting with denise,
443
00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:41,150
And you have a broken arm, so...
444
00:16:41,184 --> 00:16:43,185
Yeah. That's -- that's weird.
445
00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:45,453
So you were still dating her
when you started dating me?
446
00:16:45,488 --> 00:16:46,753
No. Phil?
447
00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:48,621
Yeah. Maybe.
Just, there was a time --
448
00:16:48,655 --> 00:16:50,022
A little overlap when, uh,
449
00:16:50,057 --> 00:16:52,157
I was trying to break
things off with denise.
450
00:16:52,191 --> 00:16:53,991
Uh-huh. You took me to santa fe!
451
00:16:54,025 --> 00:16:55,292
Santa fe.
452
00:16:55,327 --> 00:16:57,160
Phil, you told me
that was your father.
453
00:16:57,194 --> 00:17:00,295
Okay, I know the pain is fresh,
but the lie is really old.
454
00:17:00,330 --> 00:17:04,131
You know, this was a mistake.
I'm gonna leave.
455
00:17:04,165 --> 00:17:06,765
Claire, if I were you,
I would kick him out.
456
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:07,933
Maybe he'd appreciate you more
457
00:17:07,968 --> 00:17:10,001
After he spent a lonely
night in a hotel.
458
00:17:10,035 --> 00:17:11,268
At the radisson.
459
00:17:11,302 --> 00:17:12,636
By the airport.
460
00:17:15,172 --> 00:17:17,539
You quit?! Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. It was amazing.
461
00:17:17,573 --> 00:17:19,206
No, no, this is the new me, cam.
462
00:17:19,241 --> 00:17:21,875
I am not letting people
run my life anymore.
463
00:17:21,909 --> 00:17:23,376
I should be nervous,
but I'm -- I'm not.
464
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:24,376
I'm excited for you. Yes!
465
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:26,744
It's exciting. It's exciting.
466
00:17:26,778 --> 00:17:29,779
Because you followed your heart,
and that is worth celebrating.
467
00:17:29,814 --> 00:17:31,580
Cam, I just feel -- ha-ha! --
468
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:34,782
So liberated.
469
00:17:34,817 --> 00:17:35,950
Hey!
470
00:17:35,985 --> 00:17:37,551
And I'm not picking it up.
471
00:17:37,585 --> 00:17:38,784
Ooh! I like this guy!
472
00:17:38,819 --> 00:17:40,453
I do, too. I mean,
y-yes, we'll have to --
473
00:17:40,487 --> 00:17:41,953
We'll have to cut
back a little bit.
474
00:17:41,988 --> 00:17:43,321
But isn't it worth it if you feel
475
00:17:43,356 --> 00:17:45,222
Like you're living your
life for the first time?
476
00:17:45,257 --> 00:17:47,090
Totally. Oh. What were
we even waiting for?
477
00:17:47,124 --> 00:17:48,525
You will go back to teaching music,
478
00:17:48,559 --> 00:17:51,659
And then I'll -- I'll just fin.
479
00:17:51,693 --> 00:17:53,094
And until then, all we need to do
480
00:17:53,128 --> 00:17:54,394
Is just sit back
481
00:17:54,428 --> 00:17:57,229
And watch this little
miracle here dazzle us.
482
00:17:57,264 --> 00:17:58,297
I'm tingling.
483
00:17:58,331 --> 00:17:59,898
I am, too.
484
00:17:59,932 --> 00:18:02,599
It's like my heart is full for
the first time in forever.
485
00:18:02,634 --> 00:18:04,901
Oh, god, it's really pounding.
486
00:18:04,935 --> 00:18:06,968
It's like I feel the weight
of endless possibilities
487
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,803
Just sitting on my chest.
488
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:10,371
She is not doing anything, cam.
489
00:18:10,405 --> 00:18:12,205
You're not panicking,
are you? Of course I am panicking!
490
00:18:12,239 --> 00:18:13,473
No! Don't panic.
If you panic, I panic!
491
00:18:13,507 --> 00:18:16,041
I just quit my job! Cam!
492
00:18:16,075 --> 00:18:17,375
Oh, my god, mitchell,
I am used to nice things!
493
00:18:17,409 --> 00:18:18,709
What are we gonna do?!
494
00:18:18,744 --> 00:18:20,277
Okay, no, no,
just calm -- calm down.
495
00:18:20,311 --> 00:18:22,144
This is what we're gonna do.
I am going to --
496
00:18:22,179 --> 00:18:23,712
I'm gonna do what
I'm trained to do.
497
00:18:23,747 --> 00:18:25,380
I am going to lie,
grovel, debase myself
498
00:18:25,414 --> 00:18:26,647
Until I get what I want.
499
00:18:26,681 --> 00:18:27,948
I am a lawyer, damn it.
500
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:30,216
Mitchell!
501
00:18:30,250 --> 00:18:31,450
No.
502
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:32,817
Oh, no, you're right -- the tie.
503
00:18:32,852 --> 00:18:35,286
No, we'll -- we'll find
something better for you,
504
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,220
Something that works for all of us.
505
00:18:37,254 --> 00:18:39,454
There's no plan "b" here, cam.
506
00:18:39,489 --> 00:18:40,722
We have a mortgage. We have --
507
00:18:40,757 --> 00:18:43,658
We have a - a child
to support. I --
508
00:18:43,692 --> 00:18:45,792
Hey. It's gonna be okay.
509
00:18:45,826 --> 00:18:47,927
We're gonna figure it out.
510
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,528
I just want you to be happy,
and you will be happy.
511
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,530
And that is something
worth toasting.
512
00:18:55,966 --> 00:18:57,365
Let's just drink the cheap stuff
513
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,201
'cause we might have
to sell that bottle.
514
00:19:03,304 --> 00:19:06,738
It's hard to sleep in a bed of lies,
isn't it, jay?
515
00:19:06,773 --> 00:19:08,806
Kids get over these
things pretty quick.
516
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,074
He's probably sleeping
like a baby right now.
517
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,875
I'm sure he's wide awake...
518
00:19:12,909 --> 00:19:14,410
Full of guilt.
519
00:19:14,443 --> 00:19:17,144
Well, I'm going to sleep.
520
00:19:25,617 --> 00:19:27,617
Damn it!
521
00:19:32,154 --> 00:19:33,921
Hello, jay.
522
00:19:35,022 --> 00:19:36,156
What are you doing up?
523
00:19:36,190 --> 00:19:38,123
Waiting. Waiting for what?
524
00:19:38,158 --> 00:19:39,291
The truth.
525
00:19:39,326 --> 00:19:41,025
It wasn't a raccoon, was it?
526
00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:43,994
Oh, all right, you got me.
I killed shel.
527
00:19:44,028 --> 00:19:46,562
All right? I'm sorry.
It was an accident.
528
00:19:46,597 --> 00:19:47,829
Why didn't you just tell me?
529
00:19:47,863 --> 00:19:50,397
Cause I didn't want you
to be upset with me.
530
00:19:50,432 --> 00:19:52,966
You and I got off to a rocky start.
531
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,667
But lately it's been pretty good.
532
00:19:54,668 --> 00:19:56,268
I was afraid I'd mess all that up
533
00:19:56,302 --> 00:19:58,669
If you knew that I was the
one that killed your pet.
534
00:19:58,704 --> 00:20:00,003
Now you're the guy
who killed my pet
535
00:20:00,037 --> 00:20:01,204
And made a stupid lie about it.
536
00:20:01,239 --> 00:20:02,471
Well, I don't think it was stupid.
537
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:03,706
I thought it was pretty clever.
538
00:20:04,873 --> 00:20:08,041
Look, I s just trying
to avoid past miakes.
539
00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:09,476
Look...
540
00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:12,944
I know I can't make things
all better right now,
541
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,046
Maybe.
542
00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:18,781
Get some rest.
543
00:20:18,816 --> 00:20:21,149
Since we're confessing things...
544
00:20:21,184 --> 00:20:23,284
You know that scratch on your car?
545
00:20:23,318 --> 00:20:25,151
The one that can't
be buffed out? Yeah.
546
00:20:25,186 --> 00:20:26,920
You should probably
know how it happened.
547
00:20:26,954 --> 00:20:28,153
I know how it happened.
548
00:20:29,456 --> 00:20:31,322
Raccoon did it.
549
00:20:32,957 --> 00:20:34,325
Good night, jay. Good night, kid.
550
00:20:37,064 --> 00:20:40,763
Best thing I ever did was quit a miserable
job and start my own business. thanks, dad.
551
00:20:40,798 --> 00:20:42,165
Now, it's not gonna be easy,
552
00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:43,865
But that's why gloria and I want
to give you a little something
553
00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:45,533
To help you through it.
554
00:20:45,817 --> 00:20:47,251
No, dad, I can't.
555
00:20:47,285 --> 00:20:49,118
No, I want to, mitch.
556
00:20:49,153 --> 00:20:51,153
Okay, but, I mean,
a-as soon as I'm back on my feet,
557
00:20:51,187 --> 00:20:52,421
I-I really want to --
558
00:20:52,455 --> 00:20:55,822
Oh. Oh. Dad. No, you --
559
00:20:55,856 --> 00:20:57,724
You tried to give
me this 20 years ago
560
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:58,791
When my pet snake died.
561
00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:00,692
I did? Yes.
562
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:01,893
Zsa-zsa ga-boa.
563
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,427
Oh, that's adorable.
564
00:21:03,461 --> 00:21:06,028
And you really didn't
know that he was gay?
565
00:21:06,063 --> 00:21:09,064
I must have, right?
566
00:21:09,065 --> 00:21:12,064
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www.addic7ed.com
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