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1
00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:04,975
It's just until grandma
can see them.
2
00:00:05,043 --> 00:00:06,242
My neck hole
is too small.
3
00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:07,581
Mine's itchy.
4
00:00:07,648 --> 00:00:10,020
I'd rather be itchy
than choky.
5
00:00:10,087 --> 00:00:11,219
Come on, phil.
Hurry up.
6
00:00:11,288 --> 00:00:12,725
Okay, here we go.
7
00:00:12,792 --> 00:00:14,964
Connecting.
8
00:00:15,031 --> 00:00:17,703
come in, florida! Over!
9
00:00:17,771 --> 00:00:19,437
Mom? Dad?
10
00:00:19,504 --> 00:00:21,074
Hello, phillip.
11
00:00:22,281 --> 00:00:25,453
Merry christmas eve!
Merry christmas eve!
12
00:00:25,521 --> 00:00:27,457
Merry christmas eve!
13
00:00:27,525 --> 00:00:29,259
A little --
little lower, dad.
14
00:00:29,327 --> 00:00:31,097
merry christmas eve.
15
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,803
Thank you --
thanks for the sweaters!
16
00:00:34,870 --> 00:00:36,009
oh, you're welcome.
17
00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:37,547
You look beautiful in them.
18
00:00:37,614 --> 00:00:38,714
Where's mom?
19
00:00:38,781 --> 00:00:41,219
Mom is sinking fast.
Uh-oh.
20
00:00:41,287 --> 00:00:42,420
She's in the bathtub.
21
00:00:43,859 --> 00:00:46,164
They have that claw foot.
I know, yeah.
22
00:00:46,232 --> 00:00:48,669
Hey, pops,
here's the tree.
23
00:00:48,738 --> 00:00:51,342
And, uh, there --
there's the, uh --
24
00:00:51,410 --> 00:00:53,547
There's the ornament
you sent us.
25
00:00:53,615 --> 00:00:55,314
Right here.
Right here.
26
00:00:55,382 --> 00:00:57,619
There are the stockings,
27
00:00:57,688 --> 00:01:00,763
Hung by the chimney
by claire.
28
00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:02,598
Oh, still funny, son.
29
00:01:03,669 --> 00:01:05,202
What the hell is that?
30
00:01:05,270 --> 00:01:07,375
What is that? That looks like
a cigarette burn.
31
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,214
Was one of you smoking
a cigarette?
32
00:01:09,282 --> 00:01:10,148
No. No.
No. No.
33
00:01:10,215 --> 00:01:11,919
Which one of you
was smoking?
34
00:01:11,987 --> 00:01:13,524
Not me.
I have a respiratory problem.
35
00:01:13,591 --> 00:01:15,258
Obviously,
it wasn't you.
36
00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:17,730
Now I've got a family of liars
and smokers.
Honey, come here.
37
00:01:17,798 --> 00:01:19,203
You got to see this.
38
00:01:19,270 --> 00:01:21,574
Did you shoplift
your christmas presents, too?
39
00:01:21,642 --> 00:01:23,042
Haley,
keep that ugly sweater on.
40
00:01:23,109 --> 00:01:24,480
Anyway...
41
00:01:24,549 --> 00:01:25,915
Merry christmas!
42
00:01:30,064 --> 00:01:37,874
-- Sync by honeybunny --
www.addic7ed.com
43
00:01:48,464 --> 00:01:49,768
Are you crying?
44
00:01:49,837 --> 00:01:51,569
What are you, a robot?
45
00:01:51,637 --> 00:01:54,042
It's a deeply
emotional movie.
46
00:01:54,110 --> 00:01:56,247
Manny, mi amor, I need you
to help me in the kitchen.
47
00:01:56,315 --> 00:01:57,853
We got to finish this first,
gloria.
48
00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:59,923
The kid's never seen
"miracle on 34th street."
49
00:01:59,991 --> 00:02:01,759
That's because he always spends
christmas in colombia
50
00:02:01,825 --> 00:02:03,230
With my family.
51
00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:06,469
And all we see there is "salazar
and el oso save christmas."
52
00:02:06,537 --> 00:02:08,307
Sounds like a classic.
It is.
53
00:02:08,375 --> 00:02:10,279
Mom,
can we finish the movie?
54
00:02:10,348 --> 00:02:11,914
Okay.
55
00:02:18,830 --> 00:02:19,902
Aah!
What the hell is that?
56
00:02:19,969 --> 00:02:21,334
What the hell is that?
57
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:22,402
inocente!
58
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:23,841
What the hell?
59
00:02:23,908 --> 00:02:27,014
When you told me we were going
to watch this movie,
60
00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:28,819
I got a joke copy
from the internet.
61
00:02:28,886 --> 00:02:30,724
You are the inocente!
62
00:02:30,792 --> 00:02:32,962
Well, maybe I'm
a little confused right now.
63
00:02:33,031 --> 00:02:34,397
What is
this inocente stuff?
64
00:02:34,464 --> 00:02:37,973
In colombia, practical jokes
are a christmas tradition.
65
00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:40,075
The one that is fooled
is the inocente!
66
00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:42,546
We tell practical jokes
on April fool's day.
67
00:02:42,615 --> 00:02:44,652
Do not do that again.
68
00:02:46,024 --> 00:02:47,290
Inocente.
69
00:02:48,998 --> 00:02:50,364
Does it do it again?
70
00:02:50,431 --> 00:02:52,302
Ah, it's ruined.
71
00:02:52,369 --> 00:02:53,841
Are you kidding me
with this line?
72
00:02:53,909 --> 00:02:56,012
I'm gonna ask santa for the last
45 minutes of my life back.
73
00:02:56,081 --> 00:02:57,380
Oh, would you cheer up?
74
00:02:57,448 --> 00:02:59,652
We're in santa's village
with our daughter.
75
00:02:59,719 --> 00:03:01,056
Where were we
a year ago?
76
00:03:01,124 --> 00:03:02,657
Uh, we were at the beginning
of this line.
77
00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:03,929
Okay, you know what?
78
00:03:03,997 --> 00:03:05,163
Somebody needs to get
in the holiday --
79
00:03:05,230 --> 00:03:06,568
Son of a bitch.
80
00:03:08,942 --> 00:03:10,307
Maybe it's not them.
81
00:03:10,375 --> 00:03:12,846
Oh, it's them.
82
00:03:12,914 --> 00:03:15,219
It's them.
83
00:03:15,287 --> 00:03:17,357
Three years ago,
I formed a caroling group.
84
00:03:17,425 --> 00:03:19,329
We were known as
"the greensleevers."
85
00:03:19,398 --> 00:03:21,335
We would perform
at charity events, hospitals.
86
00:03:21,403 --> 00:03:23,135
And they were very,
very popular.
87
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,474
Uh, last year...
88
00:03:25,542 --> 00:03:29,118
One of my carolers --
andrew...
89
00:03:29,185 --> 00:03:31,019
Staged a little coup...
90
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:33,757
And, he, um...
91
00:03:39,170 --> 00:03:40,974
They kicked cameron
out of the group.
92
00:03:56,576 --> 00:03:58,214
thank you.
93
00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:00,719
We're
the new greensleevers.
94
00:04:03,791 --> 00:04:04,896
The new greensleevers.
95
00:04:04,963 --> 00:04:06,562
Is there a slap mark
on my face?
96
00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:08,801
I mean, why is edna
singing the low harmony?
97
00:04:08,869 --> 00:04:11,008
It's like people
are applauding out of shock.
98
00:04:11,075 --> 00:04:12,309
Let it go.
99
00:04:12,375 --> 00:04:13,346
Okay, next.
100
00:04:13,414 --> 00:04:14,414
Oh, finally.
101
00:04:14,481 --> 00:04:16,752
Whoa.
Chuckles ]
102
00:04:16,819 --> 00:04:19,457
Um, I'm sorry.
Can I -- could -- could you...
103
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:21,363
What happened
to the other santa?
104
00:04:21,431 --> 00:04:23,601
Listen, we've been
waiting in this line
for a really long time,
105
00:04:23,669 --> 00:04:26,275
And we just want a santa
that actually looks like santa.
106
00:04:26,343 --> 00:04:28,379
Mitchell, it's okay.
No, no, no, cam.
It's not okay.
107
00:04:28,447 --> 00:04:29,746
This is lily's
first christmas.
108
00:04:29,815 --> 00:04:31,851
I want to make sure
everything is perfect.
109
00:04:31,919 --> 00:04:33,691
And we're gonna wait
for the fat santa.
110
00:04:33,758 --> 00:04:35,629
I knew this would happen.
111
00:04:35,696 --> 00:04:37,696
I-I don't even know why
we hired this guy.
112
00:04:37,765 --> 00:04:39,302
See?
Even his elves agree with me.
113
00:04:39,370 --> 00:04:40,535
Thank you.
114
00:04:40,603 --> 00:04:42,807
I didn't know christmas
made you so petty.
115
00:04:45,647 --> 00:04:46,486
lackluster!
116
00:04:50,292 --> 00:04:51,530
I hate you!
117
00:04:51,598 --> 00:04:52,830
This is unacceptable.
118
00:04:52,898 --> 00:04:54,568
And I want to know
whdid this.
119
00:04:54,636 --> 00:04:55,703
Hmm?
120
00:04:55,771 --> 00:04:57,374
Nobody, huh?
121
00:04:57,441 --> 00:04:59,614
I guess the couch did it
to itself.
122
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,886
I guess it came home after
a tough day, lit up a cigarette,
123
00:05:01,952 --> 00:05:03,252
And then it burned itself.
124
00:05:03,319 --> 00:05:05,258
Is that what happened?
Because that makes no sense.
125
00:05:05,325 --> 00:05:07,662
If whoever is responsible
doesn't come forward,
126
00:05:07,730 --> 00:05:10,069
Your father and I are just gonna
have to punish all three of you.
127
00:05:10,136 --> 00:05:11,036
What?
Yeah.
128
00:05:11,104 --> 00:05:12,108
That's not fair.
129
00:05:12,175 --> 00:05:13,408
I can forgive the smoking,
130
00:05:13,475 --> 00:05:14,446
But I can't forgive
the lie...
131
00:05:14,513 --> 00:05:17,785
Phil.
Or the smoking.
132
00:05:17,853 --> 00:05:19,557
No one wants to confess,
huh?
133
00:05:19,624 --> 00:05:21,292
No?
That's fine.
134
00:05:21,359 --> 00:05:23,297
'cause you know
what happens next?
135
00:05:23,363 --> 00:05:25,035
We cancel christmas.
136
00:05:26,603 --> 00:05:28,041
That's not fair.
That's not fair.
137
00:05:28,109 --> 00:05:29,680
Okay, dad, sure.
138
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,886
Phil has a habit of making
big pronouncements to the kids.
139
00:05:34,286 --> 00:05:35,657
One time I told luke
140
00:05:35,725 --> 00:05:38,230
That if he didn't put his
dirty dishes in the dishwasher,
141
00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,034
We would put them
in his bed.
142
00:05:40,102 --> 00:05:43,940
Phil's problem
is follow-through.
143
00:05:46,314 --> 00:05:47,684
We had no more dishes,
144
00:05:47,752 --> 00:05:50,891
So we were eating cere
out of the goldfish bowl.
145
00:05:50,958 --> 00:05:53,229
Okay,
guess where I'm headed.
146
00:05:53,298 --> 00:05:55,434
To take down the tree.
That's right.
147
00:05:55,503 --> 00:05:56,735
Come on, guys.
148
00:05:56,803 --> 00:05:58,707
Whoever did is,
just take responsibility.
149
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,613
Don't put the rest of us
through this.
150
00:06:00,681 --> 00:06:02,214
Luke? No?
151
00:06:02,282 --> 00:06:04,385
This is really it,
okay?
152
00:06:04,453 --> 00:06:05,890
Here we go.
153
00:06:07,664 --> 00:06:10,335
3...2...1...
154
00:06:11,769 --> 00:06:14,141
Okay.
Goodbye, dunphy christmas.
155
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,013
Haley, I guess
you're not getting that car.
156
00:06:16,081 --> 00:06:17,380
I was getting a car?!
157
00:06:17,447 --> 00:06:19,252
No, I was lying,
because that's what we do now.
158
00:06:19,319 --> 00:06:21,691
Dunphys are liars.
159
00:06:29,548 --> 00:06:32,420
I mean, what's with them
tossing out candy canes
after every carol?
160
00:06:32,487 --> 00:06:33,926
It's pandering.
161
00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:35,560
I think you made that clear
when you tossed them back.
162
00:06:35,626 --> 00:06:37,398
Okay, how am I supposed to get
all this in the car?
163
00:06:37,466 --> 00:06:38,602
Let me give you a hand
with that.
164
00:06:38,671 --> 00:06:40,704
Uh, thanks.
Thanks -- thanks, santa.
165
00:06:40,771 --> 00:06:42,408
Can't call me that anymore.
166
00:06:42,476 --> 00:06:44,482
Just got canned.
167
00:06:44,549 --> 00:06:46,153
Oh. Really?
168
00:06:46,220 --> 00:06:48,253
Guess a couple of people
complained I wasn't fat enough.
169
00:06:48,322 --> 00:06:49,792
Well, that's terrible.
170
00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:52,098
That'shat I get for trying not
to have a second heart attack.
171
00:06:52,166 --> 00:06:53,703
There you go.
172
00:06:53,771 --> 00:06:55,136
Always a way to make room.
173
00:06:55,203 --> 00:06:57,343
Take it from someone
who lives in his car.
174
00:06:57,410 --> 00:06:59,815
Um...Oh, well,
thank you so much.
175
00:06:59,883 --> 00:07:01,685
No problem.
Merry christmas.
176
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,020
Um, wait, wait.
177
00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:05,192
Um, please, let me give you
a little something.
178
00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:07,364
For -- for your troubles.
No, that's okay.
No, really, that's okay.
179
00:07:07,432 --> 00:07:08,631
Do you really live
in your car?
180
00:07:08,698 --> 00:07:10,737
Yeah, it's not so bad.
181
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,108
It's pretty roomy
since the wife moved out.
182
00:07:13,176 --> 00:07:14,581
Well...
183
00:07:14,649 --> 00:07:16,247
Why don't you come over
to our place for dinner tonight?
184
00:07:16,315 --> 00:07:17,520
Seriously?
185
00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:19,021
Yeah, it's christmas eve.
186
00:07:19,088 --> 00:07:21,293
You -- you can't spend it
in your car.
187
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,297
Wow, that's really nice
of you guys.
188
00:07:23,364 --> 00:07:24,702
Listen,
can I bring anything?
189
00:07:24,771 --> 00:07:26,603
Ketchup,
soy sauce, straws?
190
00:07:26,672 --> 00:07:28,175
We're good.
191
00:07:28,243 --> 00:07:31,080
So, uh, why don't you follow us
to our house?
192
00:07:31,149 --> 00:07:32,487
Okay.
In your house.
193
00:07:34,759 --> 00:07:36,191
All right.
194
00:07:36,260 --> 00:07:37,363
Cameron.
What?
195
00:07:45,414 --> 00:07:47,014
Pajamas,
which we sleep in.
196
00:07:49,421 --> 00:07:52,425
Manny on the stairs
for the christmas picture.
197
00:07:52,493 --> 00:07:55,031
Then we open presents.
198
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:57,203
In colombia,
they open presents at midnight
199
00:07:57,271 --> 00:07:58,308
And stay up till morning.
200
00:07:58,377 --> 00:07:59,808
I'm sure that they do,
201
00:07:59,876 --> 00:08:01,780
But as you'll notice from the
absence of goats in the street,
202
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:03,386
We are not in colombia.
203
00:08:03,454 --> 00:08:06,258
come on, I'm kidding.
204
00:08:06,327 --> 00:08:09,298
Why can't we mix a couple
of colombian traditions in?
205
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,770
Like what?
Like fireworks.
206
00:08:11,837 --> 00:08:13,508
Come on, you don't have
fireworks in colombia.
207
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,542
You're trying to make me
the inocente again.
208
00:08:15,615 --> 00:08:16,881
No, we do.
209
00:08:16,949 --> 00:08:19,053
At night, the sky is beautiful,
very christmasy.
210
00:08:19,121 --> 00:08:20,421
That doesn't make
any sense.
211
00:08:20,488 --> 00:08:22,825
Look, every country
has their own traditions.
212
00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:24,464
In our culture,
for example,
213
00:08:24,532 --> 00:08:26,470
The baby jesus is the one
that brings the gifts,
214
00:08:26,538 --> 00:08:28,270
Not the santa claus.
215
00:08:28,338 --> 00:08:29,775
But that doesn't
make sense.
216
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:32,247
How could a newborn baby
carry all those prents?
217
00:08:32,315 --> 00:08:34,554
They don't even know
where their hands are.
218
00:08:34,621 --> 00:08:36,392
At least a baby
can fit through a chimney.
219
00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:38,896
How would you sit
on the baby jesus' lap?
220
00:08:38,965 --> 00:08:39,998
You'd squish it.
221
00:08:40,064 --> 00:08:42,137
Manny, next year,
we'll talk about
222
00:08:42,205 --> 00:08:43,907
Some of your little
colombian traditions, okay?
223
00:08:43,975 --> 00:08:44,942
Maybe.
224
00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:46,414
I know what "maybe" means.
225
00:08:46,481 --> 00:08:49,486
It's like you're trying
to take away my whole christmas.
226
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,493
I can't believe
it's all gone.
227
00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:53,997
Dad never follows through.
228
00:08:54,065 --> 00:08:56,735
Are you sure one of your friends
didn't burn the couch?
229
00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,203
Hey, don't look at me.
230
00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,941
Only one of us was ever caught
playing with matches.
231
00:09:00,009 --> 00:09:02,114
Luke.
232
00:09:02,181 --> 00:09:03,547
That was a year ago.
233
00:09:03,616 --> 00:09:05,153
Just admit you did it.
234
00:09:05,221 --> 00:09:06,220
You admit you did it!
235
00:09:06,287 --> 00:09:08,826
Okay.
Look, I have an idea.
236
00:09:08,893 --> 00:09:10,931
Do you remember the movie
"spartacus"?
237
00:09:13,437 --> 00:09:15,109
Here's what we do --
238
00:09:15,177 --> 00:09:17,681
Luke, you tell mom and dad
it's your fault.
239
00:09:17,749 --> 00:09:18,847
I didn't do it.
240
00:09:18,915 --> 00:09:21,487
It doesn't matter,
because after you coess,
241
00:09:21,555 --> 00:09:25,297
Haley and I will each confess
to the same thing.
242
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,932
How does that do anything?
243
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:29,604
They'll be so touched
that we're protecting each other
244
00:09:29,671 --> 00:09:31,743
That they'll have
to bring back christmas.
245
00:09:31,810 --> 00:09:34,481
That's awesome.
246
00:09:34,548 --> 00:09:36,486
How does it work again?
247
00:09:36,554 --> 00:09:38,024
We're gonna pass
into legend --
248
00:09:38,092 --> 00:09:39,526
The parents
who canceled christmas.
249
00:09:39,593 --> 00:09:40,864
I thought you'd be happy.
250
00:09:40,931 --> 00:09:42,197
They'll write songs
about us,
251
00:09:42,265 --> 00:09:43,770
Make one of those
christmaspecials
252
00:09:43,837 --> 00:09:45,374
With those ugly little
clay people.
253
00:09:45,442 --> 00:09:46,708
You're the one
who always says
254
00:09:46,777 --> 00:09:48,947
I shouldn't be sa pushover
with the kids.
255
00:09:49,015 --> 00:09:50,786
So this is where you decide
to make your stand?
256
00:09:50,853 --> 00:09:52,958
Really, phil?
Okay, okay, look,
don't worry.
257
00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:54,225
We're going
to have christmas.
258
00:09:54,292 --> 00:09:55,497
We raised our kids right.
259
00:09:55,564 --> 00:09:57,230
Whoever did it
will come forward...
260
00:09:57,298 --> 00:09:58,869
Or the other two
will rat them out.
261
00:09:58,938 --> 00:10:01,375
Mom? Dad?
262
00:10:01,442 --> 00:10:02,708
Hey, luke.
263
00:10:02,777 --> 00:10:05,719
What --
what can we do for you?
264
00:10:09,227 --> 00:10:12,164
I did it.
I was playing with matches.
265
00:10:12,231 --> 00:10:13,264
I'm sorry.
266
00:10:13,337 --> 00:10:15,203
You, uh --
267
00:10:15,271 --> 00:10:17,843
You did the right thing
by confessing,
268
00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:21,219
But, um...
This is bad, buddy.
269
00:10:21,286 --> 00:10:23,254
I mean, really bad, okay?
270
00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:25,826
Claire,
you want to handle this?
271
00:10:25,894 --> 00:10:29,169
Um, luke,
why didn't you say something?
272
00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:31,103
Mm...I don't know.
273
00:10:31,171 --> 00:10:33,041
Okay, well,
your father and I
274
00:10:33,109 --> 00:10:35,147
Are extremely disappointed
in you.
275
00:10:35,214 --> 00:10:36,987
So go up to your room.
276
00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:37,987
Go on.
277
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,225
Alex!
278
00:10:39,293 --> 00:10:40,458
We'll be up to talk to you
in a minute.
279
00:10:40,526 --> 00:10:41,763
Haley!
What?
280
00:10:41,832 --> 00:10:43,664
Say something!
About what?
281
00:10:43,733 --> 00:10:45,670
I take it back!
What is going on?
282
00:10:45,738 --> 00:10:47,475
These guys were gonna say
they did it, too,
283
00:10:47,543 --> 00:10:48,943
And you were gonna
be proud of all of us.
284
00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,181
Why would we do that?
285
00:10:50,248 --> 00:10:51,681
I don't know what to believe
with this kid.
286
00:10:51,754 --> 00:10:53,287
Liars!
I didn't do it!
287
00:10:53,354 --> 00:10:55,359
Well, it wasn't me.
Don't look at me.
288
00:10:55,426 --> 00:10:56,325
Seriously?
289
00:10:56,393 --> 00:10:57,931
Wait.
290
00:10:57,998 --> 00:10:59,669
Nobody did it again?
291
00:10:59,737 --> 00:11:01,737
No, that's fine.
292
00:11:01,804 --> 00:11:04,514
Guess what --
christmas is still canceled.
293
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,647
That's fine by me.
294
00:11:06,715 --> 00:11:08,987
I'll start working on
next year.
295
00:11:09,055 --> 00:11:13,364
Hey, and memo
to new year's eve and easter --
296
00:11:13,432 --> 00:11:16,003
Watch your back!
297
00:11:16,071 --> 00:11:19,643
So, after I left the marines, I
just kind of traveled the world.
298
00:11:19,710 --> 00:11:22,348
Now I go from town to town
picking up odd jobs.
299
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:24,320
Oh,
kind of like the hulk.
300
00:11:24,388 --> 00:11:25,692
that's weird.
301
00:11:25,759 --> 00:11:27,763
That was my -- that was
my nickname in the corps.
302
00:11:27,831 --> 00:11:30,669
'cause of my bad temper.
303
00:11:30,738 --> 00:11:33,842
Anyway,
thanks for having me over
304
00:11:33,909 --> 00:11:37,047
And having me for dinner,
letting me do my laundry.
305
00:11:37,116 --> 00:11:40,425
This has not been
a good day.
306
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:44,531
Um, scott, I-I have a confession
to make.
307
00:11:44,599 --> 00:11:46,369
Yeah?
Um...
308
00:11:46,438 --> 00:11:49,308
I didn't cl--
I didn't clean the lint tray,
309
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,781
So, um, your clothes might be
a little pilly.
310
00:11:51,848 --> 00:11:53,919
Oh, no problem.
That's the least of my worries.
311
00:11:53,987 --> 00:11:56,892
Thanks for everything.
You guys made my day.
312
00:11:56,959 --> 00:11:58,092
It's the least
we could do.
313
00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,864
What do you mean?
314
00:11:59,932 --> 00:12:01,537
I don't know...
315
00:12:01,603 --> 00:12:02,869
What I was saying.
316
00:12:08,315 --> 00:12:09,886
I-I just say
we never tell him.
317
00:12:09,953 --> 00:12:13,093
Exactly. We give him some money,
a hot al, laundry.
318
00:12:13,159 --> 00:12:14,565
I think we're square.
319
00:12:14,632 --> 00:12:15,697
Agreed.
320
00:12:15,765 --> 00:12:17,602
Okay,
how does this thing work?
321
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,842
Yeah, I think you just
press that button right
there in the middle.
322
00:12:19,909 --> 00:12:21,380
Yeah.
Oh, my...
323
00:12:21,447 --> 00:12:23,215
Okay, that -- well, that seems
a little high, doesn't it?
324
00:12:23,282 --> 00:12:24,953
Yes.
I'm not putting lily in that.
325
00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:26,924
It's like something astronauts
train in.
326
00:12:26,992 --> 00:12:28,659
y:
Ho, ho, ho! It's me!
Ho, ho, ho! It's me!
327
00:12:28,727 --> 00:12:29,965
Ho, ho, ho!
It's me!
328
00:12:30,032 --> 00:12:31,870
It's your dad.
Yeah.
329
00:12:31,937 --> 00:12:33,804
Hey, dad.
Hi.
330
00:12:33,872 --> 00:12:35,709
Hey!
I brought your presents.
331
00:12:35,776 --> 00:12:37,881
Aren't we seeing you
tomorrow, jay?
332
00:12:37,948 --> 00:12:39,352
Well, these are
your christmas eve gifts.
333
00:12:39,419 --> 00:12:40,453
You know the drill.
Oh, yeah.
334
00:12:40,521 --> 00:12:41,521
You open those up
before bedtime.
335
00:12:41,587 --> 00:12:42,726
They're pajamas.
336
00:12:42,793 --> 00:12:44,364
Still keeping
traditions alive.
337
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,497
Well, someone has to.
338
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:46,764
I got two colombians at home
339
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:48,904
Trying to turn christmas
into cinco de mayo.
340
00:12:48,970 --> 00:12:51,075
You know that's mexican,
right?
341
00:12:51,143 --> 00:12:52,648
Ah, burrito, bur-right-o.
342
00:12:52,715 --> 00:12:54,381
Christmas
should be christmas.
343
00:12:54,448 --> 00:12:57,691
Picture on the stairs, hot
chocolate, opening the presents.
344
00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,292
That was supposed to be
the good thing
345
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,897
About having a kid
in the house again.
346
00:13:00,965 --> 00:13:02,802
I can have christmas
the way we used to.
347
00:13:02,871 --> 00:13:04,875
I hear you, jay.
If I was home right now,
348
00:13:04,942 --> 00:13:06,776
I'd be mixing up
a bathtub full of eggnog
349
00:13:06,842 --> 00:13:08,846
And trying to squeeze
a greased hog into a santa hat.
350
00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:09,986
You don't think
I miss that?
351
00:13:10,053 --> 00:13:12,221
Do you?
352
00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:17,936
The point is that those are
memories that I'll always have,
353
00:13:18,004 --> 00:13:20,307
But now I have
the perfect opportunity
354
00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:22,076
To create new memories
with my new family
355
00:13:22,143 --> 00:13:23,880
That are gonna be
just as special someday.
356
00:13:23,948 --> 00:13:25,147
Aww.
357
00:13:25,215 --> 00:13:26,620
Cam's right.
358
00:13:26,686 --> 00:13:28,725
We create new traditions
every year.
359
00:13:28,793 --> 00:13:31,697
So...Who's ready
to try the swing?
360
00:13:37,676 --> 00:13:39,781
'cause jay wants to eat
361
00:13:39,848 --> 00:13:41,853
Ay, manny.
362
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:43,792
Did you put this spider
in the fridge?
363
00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:45,692
Oh, yeah.
Inocente.
364
00:13:45,765 --> 00:13:47,931
Oh, papi, what's wrong?
365
00:13:47,999 --> 00:13:50,403
I want to have christmas
like they do in colombia.
366
00:13:50,471 --> 00:13:51,942
Jay is messing
everything up.
367
00:13:52,009 --> 00:13:53,714
Manny,
try to understand.
368
00:13:53,782 --> 00:13:57,353
Jay has great memories with
his kids when they were young.
369
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,758
And he just wants
to re-create them with you.
370
00:13:59,826 --> 00:14:02,830
So, maybe the best gift
I could give jay
371
00:14:02,898 --> 00:14:05,570
Would be christmas
like he used to have it?
372
00:14:05,638 --> 00:14:07,842
You're such
a beautiful boy.
373
00:14:07,910 --> 00:14:09,881
One day, you're gonna grow up
and I'm gonna miss
374
00:14:09,948 --> 00:14:12,119
All the things that you used
to do as a little boy.
375
00:14:12,187 --> 00:14:14,658
Okay, but if
this so-called santa claus
376
00:14:14,726 --> 00:14:17,330
Doesn't bring me
a burgundy dinner jacket,
377
00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:19,469
We're going to have
a big problem.
378
00:14:21,471 --> 00:14:22,509
Honey?
379
00:14:22,577 --> 00:14:25,115
Hmm?
380
00:14:25,183 --> 00:14:27,420
Would it really be so bad
to back down?
381
00:14:27,487 --> 00:14:30,025
And have the kids never
take any of our threats
seriously again?
382
00:14:30,092 --> 00:14:31,897
Yeah.
Mm.
383
00:14:34,470 --> 00:14:37,808
Or the kids could realize
384
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,914
That we're making
a supreme sacrifice
385
00:14:39,981 --> 00:14:43,153
By giving up our power
to save their christmas.
386
00:14:43,221 --> 00:14:45,359
Which would, in a way,
be the greatest gift
387
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,859
That we could ever
give them.
388
00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:49,736
And which would paradoxically
make them respect us even more.
389
00:14:49,804 --> 00:14:51,737
Mm...
Okay, forget that.
Go back one.
390
00:14:51,804 --> 00:14:53,209
Hey, guys.
391
00:14:55,182 --> 00:14:56,514
It was me.
392
00:14:56,581 --> 00:14:57,952
What?
What?
393
00:15:00,059 --> 00:15:01,892
I found a cigarette
at school,
394
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:06,637
And when no one was home,
I...I tried it,
395
00:15:06,704 --> 00:15:11,281
And...I-I guess I held it
too close to the couch.
396
00:15:11,348 --> 00:15:13,420
I'm so sorry.
397
00:15:13,488 --> 00:15:15,392
You can take
my christmas away,
398
00:15:15,458 --> 00:15:17,692
But don't take it
from everyone else.
399
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,836
That is very noble of you
to care about the family,
400
00:15:20,903 --> 00:15:22,771
But you still smoked
and lied.
401
00:15:22,837 --> 00:15:24,342
That's really bad.
402
00:15:24,409 --> 00:15:26,181
Now help me grab the tree.
403
00:15:26,249 --> 00:15:27,114
Phil.
404
00:15:27,182 --> 00:15:28,252
Phil.
405
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,087
Alex, come on back.
406
00:15:33,632 --> 00:15:34,898
Starting December 26th,
407
00:15:34,964 --> 00:15:36,770
You are grounded
for a full week,
408
00:15:36,838 --> 00:15:38,642
And that includes
new year's eve.
409
00:15:38,710 --> 00:15:40,475
But I was g--
no, nonnegotiable, so...
410
00:15:40,544 --> 00:15:41,648
Mm.
Yeah.
411
00:15:41,715 --> 00:15:43,585
Fine.
412
00:15:43,653 --> 00:15:46,257
Everybody!
413
00:15:46,326 --> 00:15:47,558
It's official!
414
00:15:47,626 --> 00:15:49,598
Christmas is back on!
415
00:15:49,665 --> 00:15:50,798
It is?
What happened?
416
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,002
Doesn't matter!
417
00:15:52,071 --> 00:15:53,775
Stockings, lights,
ornaments, wreath!
418
00:15:53,842 --> 00:15:54,842
Go, go, go!
419
00:15:54,909 --> 00:15:56,009
Okay!
420
00:15:56,076 --> 00:15:59,787
Um, that sounds like
a stressful job to me.
421
00:15:59,855 --> 00:16:01,320
Mm, not as much
as you'd think.
422
00:16:01,393 --> 00:16:03,359
They always made sure one of us
had a blank,
423
00:16:03,426 --> 00:16:05,030
So nobody knew
who took the fatal shot.
424
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:07,504
This was mighty tasty.
425
00:16:07,570 --> 00:16:09,608
Well, I don't want
to overstay my welcome
426
00:16:09,676 --> 00:16:11,108
Or you won't have me back.
427
00:16:12,415 --> 00:16:13,848
You guys enjoy
the rest of your night.
428
00:16:13,916 --> 00:16:15,353
You're good people.
429
00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:19,092
Scott, wait.
430
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,130
Wait.
431
00:16:21,199 --> 00:16:22,870
Don't forget your laundry.
432
00:16:22,937 --> 00:16:25,608
Oh, thanks. Thanks, thanks,
thanks. Merry christmas.
433
00:16:27,114 --> 00:16:28,314
Scott, merry christmas to --
to you, too, and happy --
434
00:16:28,381 --> 00:16:29,785
Son of a bitch!
What?
435
00:16:29,854 --> 00:16:31,220
Oh,
it's the new greensleevers.
436
00:16:31,287 --> 00:16:32,958
They're cameron's
old caroling group.
437
00:16:33,027 --> 00:16:34,359
They kicked him out
this year.
438
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:37,236
I mean, it is one thing
to kick me out of the group,
439
00:16:37,304 --> 00:16:39,170
But to -- to rub my nose
in it?
440
00:16:39,237 --> 00:16:40,409
I'm turning on
the sprinklers.
441
00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:41,842
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
442
00:16:41,909 --> 00:16:45,854
I know it feels good
to get even, belve me.
443
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:49,326
To see the fear
in a man's eyes is...
444
00:16:49,393 --> 00:16:53,936
But there's something
that feels even better...
445
00:16:56,143 --> 00:16:57,142
...Forgiveness.
446
00:16:57,209 --> 00:16:58,748
Scott,
you don't understand.
447
00:16:58,815 --> 00:17:00,785
This -- this group
was my "dreamgirls."
448
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,220
I was effie.
449
00:17:02,287 --> 00:17:05,897
Do you know what the best thing
I did all day was?
450
00:17:05,965 --> 00:17:07,969
Forgiving you
for getting me fir.
451
00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:11,341
Um...
452
00:17:23,671 --> 00:17:24,903
Andrew.
453
00:17:24,971 --> 00:17:26,641
Ensemble.
454
00:17:26,709 --> 00:17:29,880
I know it's no accident
455
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:32,653
That you're here
on my street tonight.
456
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,291
And I...
457
00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:39,670
I just wanted to say to you all
that you sound great.
458
00:17:39,737 --> 00:17:42,809
And...Merry christmas.
459
00:17:42,876 --> 00:17:44,614
Wow.
460
00:17:44,682 --> 00:17:46,653
Even your apology
is off-key.
461
00:17:46,721 --> 00:17:48,386
Not cool, buddy.
462
00:17:48,454 --> 00:17:50,092
Ooh! Ooh!
463
00:17:53,633 --> 00:17:56,336
But -- but -- but what about --
what about forgiveness?
464
00:17:56,404 --> 00:17:58,509
You were nice.
He was naughty.
465
00:18:03,988 --> 00:18:05,792
Where were you
for so long?
466
00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:07,164
Just a little
last-minute shopping.
467
00:18:07,231 --> 00:18:08,597
What's this?
468
00:18:08,666 --> 00:18:09,703
Buñuelos.
469
00:18:09,770 --> 00:18:11,671
Who? What?
Cheese fritters.
470
00:18:11,737 --> 00:18:13,708
It's a colombian traditional
christmas food.
471
00:18:13,777 --> 00:18:15,148
Okay, new rule.
472
00:18:15,214 --> 00:18:18,353
From now on, we do colombian
things when we're in colombia.
473
00:18:18,420 --> 00:18:20,858
We do american things
when we're in america.
474
00:18:20,926 --> 00:18:23,831
That means no more of your food,
no more of your music,
475
00:18:23,898 --> 00:18:26,536
And especially no more
of your crazy holidays!
476
00:18:29,643 --> 00:18:31,047
Inocente!
477
00:18:31,115 --> 00:18:33,252
Jay!
What?
Did I say it wrong?
478
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:34,991
You two
are total inocentes.
479
00:18:35,058 --> 00:18:36,658
You should see the look
on your faces.
480
00:18:36,726 --> 00:18:39,131
And by the way, you know
how hard it is to get fireworks
481
00:18:39,198 --> 00:18:40,636
On christmas eve?
482
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:43,174
go, manny.
483
00:18:43,243 --> 00:18:44,742
Thank you.
484
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:49,690
And here's another one for luke.
looks like a book.
485
00:18:49,658 --> 00:18:51,794
I have a book already.
486
00:18:51,863 --> 00:18:53,033
What is that?
487
00:18:53,101 --> 00:18:55,406
Oh, my god.
The couch is smoking.
488
00:18:55,474 --> 00:18:57,806
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa-ho-ho.
489
00:19:00,551 --> 00:19:01,851
It's sunlight.
490
00:19:01,917 --> 00:19:03,757
It's the ornament.
491
00:19:03,823 --> 00:19:04,922
Cool.
492
00:19:04,991 --> 00:19:06,194
It's like
a magnifying glass.
493
00:19:06,263 --> 00:19:08,666
Hey, how weird is that?
494
00:19:08,734 --> 00:19:10,667
It's burning a hole
in the exact same spot
495
00:19:10,740 --> 00:19:12,407
That alex was smoking in.
496
00:19:12,473 --> 00:19:14,111
Oh, haley.
497
00:19:14,179 --> 00:19:16,551
Alex, why'd you take
the blame?
498
00:19:16,619 --> 00:19:19,424
I didn't want
to lose christmas.
499
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:22,461
That is
so stinking beautul.
500
00:19:23,501 --> 00:19:24,767
Get in here.
501
00:19:24,768 --> 00:19:25,735
No.
Yes.
502
00:19:25,803 --> 00:19:27,040
Oh, no.
Yes.In here.
503
00:19:27,108 --> 00:19:28,273
Oh, yeah!
504
00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:29,279
Bear hug!
505
00:19:31,618 --> 00:19:33,584
You were going
to take christmas away
506
00:19:33,652 --> 00:19:35,189
For something
that none of us did.
507
00:19:35,256 --> 00:19:36,662
Well, um...
508
00:19:36,729 --> 00:19:39,601
Christmas is about
moving forward.
509
00:19:39,668 --> 00:19:40,967
I've never heard that.
510
00:19:41,035 --> 00:19:42,474
Actually, honey, you did kind of
shoot your mouth off.
511
00:19:42,540 --> 00:19:44,078
You called us
all liars.
512
00:19:44,145 --> 00:19:46,178
Yeah, and then you took away
the biggest holiday...
513
00:19:46,247 --> 00:19:47,551
Yeah, you did.
I don't know.
514
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,655
Let's -- let's not all get
worked up.
515
00:19:49,723 --> 00:19:51,927
I made a mistake.
516
00:19:51,996 --> 00:19:53,262
I made a mistake.
517
00:19:53,330 --> 00:19:56,502
And people make mistakes.
518
00:19:56,569 --> 00:20:00,777
And they make up
for those mistakes...
519
00:20:00,845 --> 00:20:02,149
Mm-hmm.
520
00:20:02,218 --> 00:20:06,990
...By taking their family
to Italy!
521
00:20:07,062 --> 00:20:08,362
Oh, my god!
522
00:20:08,429 --> 00:20:09,363
Yeah!
523
00:20:09,429 --> 00:20:12,067
Yeah!
524
00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:13,806
Yeah!
Aah!
525
00:20:18,252 --> 00:20:22,023
We talk a lot about
tradition this time of year.
526
00:20:22,091 --> 00:20:24,663
But as much as we love
our traditions,
527
00:20:24,730 --> 00:20:26,100
Sometimes our best memories
528
00:20:26,168 --> 00:20:29,973
Come from the times
that are the most untraditional.
529
00:20:33,885 --> 00:20:37,524
We remember the year mom and dad
went crazy.
530
00:20:37,591 --> 00:20:41,867
We remember the year santa
punched out the caroler.
531
00:20:43,941 --> 00:20:48,718
But for me, this was the year
that the word "tradition"
532
00:20:48,784 --> 00:20:50,484
Got a lot bigger.
533
00:21:02,312 --> 00:21:03,816
There's cam.
534
00:21:19,918 --> 00:21:22,423
Aah!
Oh, you did it again.
535
00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,429
You got me again.
37762
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