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1
00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:12,099
ANDI:
That's so weird.
2
00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:13,946
I left a fun-size Baby Ruth
on the kitchen island
3
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:14,971
and now it's gone.
4
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,320
Huh. Well...
5
00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:18,366
Maybe one of the kidstook it.
6
00:00:18,409 --> 00:00:20,368
Yeah, that's what
I would've thought except
7
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:22,239
I saw you take it.
8
00:00:22,283 --> 00:00:24,415
You didn't let me finish.
9
00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:26,591
I was gonna say "maybe
one of the kids took it"
10
00:00:26,635 --> 00:00:30,639
is one theory that would later
be proven false.
11
00:00:30,682 --> 00:00:32,858
You know,
12
00:00:32,902 --> 00:00:34,382
if you keep telling little lies,
13
00:00:34,425 --> 00:00:36,142
I won't believe you
when you tell the truth.
14
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:39,082
Why does that soundso familiar?
15
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:40,866
Wait a minute, that's the same speech
16
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:43,043
you gave to Teddylast night.
17
00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:44,914
Yes, it's
The Boy Who Cried Wolf.
18
00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:47,569
Oh.So, I'm the sexy wolf.
19
00:00:48,874 --> 00:00:51,181
No. [chuckles]Hmm?
20
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:52,791
You're the boy who gets eaten
21
00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:53,899
because the villagers
don't believe him
22
00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:56,056
when the wolf shows up.
23
00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:58,406
Oh, come on, it was a candy bar.
24
00:00:58,449 --> 00:01:00,799
If it was something important,
people would believe me.
25
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,758
I have a face you believe.
26
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:05,195
That's why I lie so good.
27
00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:06,519
You know,
I told Teddy that story
28
00:01:06,544 --> 00:01:08,068
because he tells fibs, too.
29
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:10,418
And it just,
it made me think that
30
00:01:10,461 --> 00:01:12,550
maybe we're not
setting the best example.
31
00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:15,075
And when I say "we," I mean you.
32
00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:19,166
Well, now I feel bad.
33
00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:23,692
And when I say "I," I
mean you made me feel bad.
34
00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:25,476
Okay, fine. I promise.
35
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,913
Thank you.
36
00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:32,135
Except for any little fibsl'm
currently in the middle of,
37
00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:34,268
those are grandfathered in.[mumbles]
38
00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:36,096
No, they're not.
39
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:37,793
Oh.
40
00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:41,144
Well, in that case, um...
41
00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:42,841
Teddy quit soccer a month ago.
42
00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:44,713
We've just been going to Froyo.
43
00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:52,938
If your mother asks,
I was with you all night.
44
00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:56,203
What's going on?
45
00:01:57,595 --> 00:01:58,944
Nope.
46
00:01:58,988 --> 00:02:00,250
[chuckling]: Not happening.
47
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:02,122
You are not going to schoolwearing those.
48
00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,427
Why not?
49
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:05,560
Because we came tothis country as Pilgrims
50
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:08,171
and ever since then,
it's been one long striptease
51
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,495
and it stops now.[snaps fingers]
52
00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:14,177
Dad?
53
00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:19,095
Adam, where's your father?
54
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,532
I-I woke up to a message
saying he was here
55
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,839
and ended up staying over.
What happened?
56
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:26,885
That is a great question.
57
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:28,670
You don't know. I know.
58
00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:30,367
But I haven't told you.
59
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,152
That's what we're all
waiting for, right?
60
00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:34,937
Oh, there's my girl.
61
00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,678
Are-are you okay?
62
00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:39,246
Yeah, I-I just got
a little sick last night.
63
00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:41,422
From what? Andi's lasagna.
64
00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:43,511
Oh. How many timesdo I have to tell you?
65
00:02:43,554 --> 00:02:45,121
Eat beforeyou come over here.
66
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:49,560
Well, thanksfor letting him stay.
67
00:02:49,604 --> 00:02:50,735
[stammers]
Yeah, no problem.
68
00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:52,215
It's like
he was never even here.
69
00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,222
Still no.
70
00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:03,966
♪
71
00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:14,561
This stuff with your dad
sounds pretty shady.
72
00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:16,065
Yeah.
73
00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:18,894
What's with the clogs, Lowell?
74
00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:20,896
Did you lose a bet?
75
00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:23,638
No, I wongreat arch support.
76
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:26,031
You know, I hate to say it,
77
00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:28,686
but this reminds me of
when my ex was cheating on me.
78
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:33,038
Except with less of me
screaming "why" into a pillow.
79
00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:35,040
My dad is not
having an affair, Lowell.
80
00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:36,564
He's 80 years old.
81
00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:38,174
With all the pills
they have these days,
82
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,915
old age is an endless sex party.
83
00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:41,395
And they're into
some kinky stuff.
84
00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:43,658
That's why they have handles
in the showers.
85
00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:47,009
You need to stay offthe Internet.
86
00:03:47,052 --> 00:03:49,185
I'm getting tothe bottom of this.
87
00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:52,971
[phone ringing]
88
00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:54,277
What?
89
00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:56,845
Is that how you answer
your phone?
90
00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:59,500
Is that how you talk to the
guywho's about to hang up on you?
91
00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:01,153
What was going on this morning?
92
00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:03,852
Here's some joe for my Joe.
93
00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,941
Thank you, sweetheart.
94
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,421
[whispers]:
I can't talk.
95
00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:09,640
Meet me at Mick's for lunch.
96
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,165
That's weird.
97
00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:15,994
He didn't want to say anything
in front of my mom.
98
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:20,347
Hmm. What secret would
he want to keep from his wife?
99
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:22,087
Not everything's an affair,
Lowell.
100
00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:23,654
Well, I hope you're right.
101
00:04:23,698 --> 00:04:25,830
But I bet your new mom
will agree with me.
102
00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:32,924
All right.Lowell.
103
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:37,189
I think you accidentally
boughtsome women's shoes.
104
00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,279
Dad, will you just tell me
what's going on?
105
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,671
Not in front of the dame.
106
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:46,938
Okay. But just so you know,
in ancient Holland,
107
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:49,071
these were worn by kings.
108
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,511
All right.
109
00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:57,862
I had my physicaland I need a pacemaker.
110
00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,168
What?
111
00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:00,256
Are you okay?
112
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,475
Yeah, I'm fine.
113
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:03,215
Just a small heart flutter.
114
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:05,827
Heart flutter? Mm. And last night,
115
00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:08,046
I had to stay at the
hospitalfor some pre-op tests.
116
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,787
So that's where you were.
117
00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:12,181
But I don't get it,
why are you keeping it from Mom?
118
00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:13,443
Well, she worries too much.
119
00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:15,837
I'll tell her after it's done.
120
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,448
I just, I hate to see my bride upset.
121
00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:19,449
You do?
122
00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,364
When did that start?
123
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,105
I need you to drive me
124
00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:25,063
to the hospital tomorrowfor the procedure
125
00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:27,196
and then pick me upthe next day.
126
00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:28,545
Of course, of course.
127
00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:30,044
But I'm not gonna
leave you there by yourself.
128
00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:32,201
I'll just tell Andil'm
staying the night with you.
129
00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:33,420
I don't want you to be alone.
130
00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:35,117
No, no, you can't tell Andi.
131
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,032
Why not? Well, it's too risky.
132
00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:39,208
She'll tell your mom.[groans]
133
00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:42,211
But I'm in the middle of a
wholething with Andi about lying.
134
00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:43,995
She's come out
strongly against it.
135
00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:47,782
I can't do it, Dad. I'm sorry.
136
00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:49,218
All right.
137
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:50,828
I'll ask your brother.
138
00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:53,222
Don probably loves me.
139
00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:55,572
Why do you always
have to go nuclear?
140
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:58,227
Because it works.
141
00:05:58,270 --> 00:05:59,924
So, I can't lie to Andi,
142
00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:01,883
but I have to lie to Andi.
143
00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:04,625
It's okay to bend the truthwith
your wife now and again.
144
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,888
That's what I think.
145
00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:10,761
Marriage is a marathon,
and the lies are the bananas
146
00:06:10,805 --> 00:06:12,415
they give you
every couple of miles.
147
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:15,331
Without them, you'd never
make it to the finish line.
148
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,899
I just came very closeto hugging you.
149
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:20,989
All right, I'll do it.
150
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,904
Because it's you and me,
together, without Don,
151
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,645
doing stuff without Don.
152
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:27,169
Good boy. But, hey, hey...
153
00:06:27,212 --> 00:06:28,973
Andi can't know. All right?
So we need to come up with
154
00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:31,216
a good story to explain
why I'm gone all night.
155
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:32,174
Don't worry about it.
156
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:33,784
I've got a guy.
157
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,048
Marcy is your guy?
158
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:40,443
She came up with
that dynamite lasagna story.
159
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,663
It's well-known that
Andi makes a weak lasagna.
160
00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:45,361
The best lies are perfectly
seasoned with the truth.
161
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,928
My guy's good.
162
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,800
Marcy's Andi's best friend.
163
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:51,541
She's gonna tell her everything.
164
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:54,805
No. Normally, I'm on team
Andi, but this is for Joe.
165
00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:57,068
The man who protects me
from my greatest enemy...
166
00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:58,809
his lovely wife, Bev.
167
00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:01,769
If he hadn't convinced
herthat I was right for Don,
168
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:03,486
I'd still be single
and picking up random...
169
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,425
You know what,
that's in the past.
170
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,252
The point is...
171
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:08,645
I won't tell Andi.
172
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,780
You and Dad are friends?
173
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:15,478
How long has this
unholy alliance been going on?
174
00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:18,568
We have been secretly running
this family for decades.
175
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,701
It's a shadow government.
176
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:23,312
So... you both needan excuse
177
00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:24,835
to be out of the housetomorrow night.
178
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:26,533
I saw somethingthat might help
179
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,883
while I was cutting upDon's newspaper.
180
00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:32,495
Every day I do that to keep
himfrom being tempted by bad ideas.
181
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:34,149
Wow.
182
00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:36,325
It's like North Korea over here.
183
00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:37,805
Oh, like this.
184
00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:40,242
"Free owl to a good home."
No.
185
00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:43,375
I won't sit across the dinner
table from Don and his owl.
186
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,814
Oh, here we are.
187
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,816
"Fishing store grand opening."
188
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:49,817
Ooh...
189
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:52,297
That's not bad.
190
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:54,648
But it's not just what you
say, it's how you say it.
191
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:56,650
The... the reasonyou get
caught a lot is because
192
00:07:56,693 --> 00:07:58,434
your lies are obviousand lack finesse.
193
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:01,045
I got this.
194
00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:03,004
Finesse is my middle name.
195
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,485
And my shampoo.
196
00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:11,142
You ready? Don't worry, I got a plan.
197
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:13,710
I'm gonna pretend to be
nervousand get caught lying
198
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,843
so that Andi'll believe
the real lie.
199
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:18,367
See, most people when they
getcaught, they admit the truth...
200
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:20,151
Just do it, I've got a heart flutter.
201
00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:24,155
Hi, guys. Hey, Andi!
202
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:27,115
I mean, hey... Andrew.
203
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:28,551
What's going on?
204
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:32,424
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
205
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:36,603
It-it was just, uh,
Dad and I wanted to, um...
206
00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:40,345
uh... [exhales]
Is it hot in here?
207
00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:42,086
Wait, before you go on,
208
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,827
I can tell that
you're about to lie
209
00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:46,482
and I just want to remind you
that you made a promise.
210
00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:48,919
You're right.
211
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:50,399
You caught me.
212
00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:51,966
Okay.
213
00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:54,751
Um... here's the truth.
214
00:08:54,795 --> 00:08:58,407
There's a, there's a grandopening
at this fishing store
215
00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:01,018
and the first ten customersget
lots of free stuff.
216
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:04,326
So, Dad and I wanted to
campoutside on the sidewalk tonight
217
00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:06,633
so that we can be
first in line tomorrow.
218
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:09,331
See?
Doesn't the truth feel better?
219
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:13,161
So much better. Yeah, you know,
it really will set you free.Yeah.
220
00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:14,771
Huh.[chuckles]
221
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:16,532
Well, I am happy to handle
the kids tonight.
222
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,340
[exhales] Okay, great.
223
00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:21,996
So, uh, I guess I'll see you
tomorrow morning.
224
00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:23,345
You guys have fun.
225
00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:24,781
I'm headed over to your mom's.
226
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:27,305
She asked me to bring
over my lasagna.
227
00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:30,700
[exhales] Maybe today's the
daythat she'll admit mine's better.
228
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:32,528
Maybe.
229
00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:38,316
Let's go get you
a pacemaker.[chuckles]
230
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,581
See what I did there?
I am one silver-tongued devil.
231
00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:43,036
Yeah, just run the bases,
don't stand there
232
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,540
and watch the ball
leave the park.
233
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,368
[mutters]
234
00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:53,549
[exhales]
235
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,770
This tiny juice
makes me feel like a giant.
236
00:09:56,813 --> 00:10:00,295
Oh, yeah. Whee! Mm.
237
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:01,601
How was the surgery?
238
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,820
I feel groovy.
239
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:05,866
And they give you
unlimited juice.
240
00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:07,476
Oh, he's got a lot more
than juice
241
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:08,714
running through his system
right now.
242
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,871
[laughs] You're funny, son.
243
00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:13,569
And I like your new hairdo,
Andi.
244
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:16,885
We should've gotten him
on this stuff years ago.
245
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:22,447
Okay, now we need to focus on
finishing this thing
246
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:24,101
without me getting caught.
247
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:26,756
JOE:♪ I'm looking overa four-leaf clover ♪
248
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,237
♪ That I overlooked before.
249
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,457
This is the most criticalpart
of the mission: re-entry.
250
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:35,765
Okay? The hard part's not going
to the Moon, it's getting home.
251
00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:38,463
I don't think that's true.
252
00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:41,205
Don't question me about space, Marcy.
I'm an expert.
253
00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:43,425
I once had a beerwith Ned Armstrong.
254
00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:44,426
You mean Neil?
255
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:46,297
No, Ned. Neil's cousin.Uh-huh.
256
00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:47,666
He told me everything, including the fact
257
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:50,040
that Neil said, and I quote:
258
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,434
"I'm just worriedabout getting home."
259
00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:54,523
I wouldn't tell
that story again.
260
00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:59,049
The point is,
Andi cannotcatch me lying to her.
261
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:02,183
I promised.
Yes, I immediatelybroke that promise,
262
00:11:02,226 --> 00:11:03,880
but I would like to dothe right thing,
263
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:05,752
and make her thinkl kept it.Okay.
264
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:07,623
Trust the lie, Adam.
265
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,756
Okay? I'm off to
babysit your mom
266
00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:10,974
and keep her
distracted. What?
267
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:12,386
She's not gonna wantto hang out with
you.
268
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:13,368
She doesn't like you.
269
00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:15,109
I'm gonna use that.
270
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,521
I'll let her talk about
her favorite subject.
271
00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:17,851
What are you doing here?
272
00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:19,156
I had the night free,
273
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,873
and I thought you'd liketo
tell me all the ways
274
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:22,483
I could be a betterdaughter-in-law, wife,
275
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:23,987
and human being.
276
00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:26,337
This is so exciting!
Come on in!
277
00:11:28,426 --> 00:11:30,559
We'll start with
unannounced visits.
278
00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:34,737
Dad said no, but I thinkthey look fine.
279
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:36,173
Those shorts are what
people put on
280
00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:38,045
before they put their shorts on.
281
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:40,700
You know, my friend's parents
have already given up.
282
00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:42,136
Try that.
283
00:11:43,354 --> 00:11:44,921
Hey, everybody. Oh, I'll come back
284
00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:45,985
when Kate's finishedgetting dressed.
285
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:47,663
No-no-no-no-no-no.
286
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,945
This is why I wanted
you to come over.
287
00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:50,361
They're too short, right?
288
00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:53,408
You're gonna take fashion
advicefrom a man in clogs?
289
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,758
These are the best-looking
shoesmoney can buy.
290
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:58,195
At a doctor's office.
291
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,808
It's a hard "no" on the outfit.
292
00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:03,331
[sighs]
293
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:05,812
Can my Build-A-Bear
have his shorts back?
294
00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:07,727
Shut up!
295
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:10,817
Where's Adam?
296
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,644
Oh, he and Joe are camped out
297
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:14,734
at some new fishing store
all night.
298
00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:15,977
He didn't tell you about that?
299
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:20,130
Right, right.
The fishing store.
300
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:23,438
He told me
they were going to buy... Win.
301
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:24,656
Win...
302
00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:28,051
some fish.
303
00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:31,272
I should go. Hold on.
304
00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:33,056
What are you covering up?
305
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,860
I don't know. I don't know
enough to cover anythingup.
306
00:12:34,884 --> 00:12:36,930
Yeah, but you know something.
307
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:39,410
Spill it, Dutch boy.
308
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:42,283
All I know is Joe lied about
where he was the other night,
309
00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:43,806
and Adam's helping him.
310
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:45,460
But I wasn't allowed
to hear the rest
311
00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:46,940
because Joe is shoe-intolerant.
312
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:49,290
Unbelievable!
313
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:50,987
You know, Adam promised me
no more lying.
314
00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:52,859
I mean, is he even
atthe fish store?
315
00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:55,252
I mean, I can't trust
a word that man says, Lowell!
316
00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:58,342
Face it.
We're just a couple of dames
317
00:12:58,386 --> 00:12:59,909
on the outside looking in.
318
00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:03,913
Hurry up, Lowell. I-I'll be
right there.
319
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:06,916
I've got a rock in my clog.
320
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,528
If I drink enough free juice,
I'll make money on this deal.
321
00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:12,226
Slow down.
322
00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:13,681
You sneezed earlier,
and the whole room
323
00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:14,663
smelled like pineapple.
324
00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:15,795
[phone rings]
325
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,798
Hello?
326
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,538
Adam? It's Lowell.
I did a bad thing.
327
00:13:20,582 --> 00:13:23,106
Wear whatever shoes
you want, goodbye. Wait!
328
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:24,673
I may have accidentally
implied to Andi
329
00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:26,240
that you weren't
at the fishing store.
330
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:27,521
She thinks you're lying again,
and we're going
331
00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:29,219
to Don's to see if he knows
what's going on.
332
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,766
But I didn't tell him
what's going on.
333
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,594
I-I mean, nothing's going on!
334
00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:34,814
I mean... wrong number.
335
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,859
Adam? ANDI: Lowell!
336
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:40,036
Cheese and crackers.
337
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,821
Things are starting
to heat up, Dad.
338
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,648
Well, cool off with some juice.
339
00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:47,087
Your man works hard.Mm.
340
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:49,480
It wouldn't kill you
to put on some pantyhose.
341
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:50,830
[phone ringing]
342
00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:54,355
Hey, what's up?
343
00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:56,487
Andi's onto us.
You have to come to the hospital
344
00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:58,533
and stay with Dad while I go
put out this fire.
345
00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:00,752
I'm on it. You know what, Bev?
346
00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:02,363
It is getting late.[chuckles]
347
00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:04,626
I'd better hurry and buy
those teeth-whitening strips
348
00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:05,627
you mentioned.
349
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:07,237
Think about a hat
350
00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:09,121
if you're not gonna do
anythingwith your hair.
351
00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:14,854
This is so great.
352
00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:16,377
The doctor said you're
doing so well,
353
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,508
you get to go home early.
354
00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:18,770
What about Adam?
355
00:14:18,814 --> 00:14:20,511
His cover's blown,
save yourself.
356
00:14:20,555 --> 00:14:22,992
Good thinking.
That's why we run this family.
357
00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:29,390
Hey.
358
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:30,628
Oh... Thank God you showed up.
359
00:14:30,652 --> 00:14:32,523
There's nothing going on
in this town.
360
00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:35,178
Adam told me that he and Joe
361
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:36,329
were going to the grand opening
362
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:37,659
of some new fishing store.
363
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:39,245
But we went by, and they weren't there.
364
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:41,069
Grand opening?
You'd think something like that
365
00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:42,707
would be in the paper.
366
00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:45,536
Don, Adam and Joe
are up to something.
367
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:48,191
I want to know where they are
and why Adam's lying about it.
368
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:49,801
I'm sure it's nothing.
369
00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:52,021
Probably just an affair.
370
00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:54,719
He takes his dad with
him to have an affair?
371
00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:56,721
Maybe Dad's got a gal, too.
372
00:14:56,765 --> 00:14:58,565
You know, one of those
mother-daughter things.
373
00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:02,423
Ah, look who's here.
374
00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:03,946
How was the fishing store?
375
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,556
I know where you're
going with this...
376
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,838
How do you know where
I'm going with this?
377
00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:09,082
Lowell called me. Lowell!
378
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:11,780
I'm not sorry. He's my hero.
379
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:14,217
You caught me not being
entirely honest with you,
380
00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:15,697
but on the way here,
381
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,351
I realized
I can tell you everything,
382
00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:19,788
because the thing
I couldn't tell you is over.
383
00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,311
And when you hear this,
384
00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:23,357
I think you are gonna be
touched, and proud,
385
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,749
and a little sorry...
386
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:25,988
You know what?
I'll just tell you.
387
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:28,492
I can't wait to finally
hear the truth.
388
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,712
My dad got a pacemaker today.
389
00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:32,409
He's fine.
390
00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:34,039
But he didn't want anyone else
to know, especially Don.
391
00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:35,063
[chuckles]
392
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:37,806
So I lied.
393
00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:39,808
But only for the love
of my father.
394
00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:41,375
So...
395
00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:44,117
to recap?
Dad, pacemaker,
396
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,641
a son's love.
397
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:48,425
Come on.Please.
398
00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:49,513
What?
399
00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:51,167
This is a new low.
400
00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:53,169
Dad would never get a
pacemakerand not tell me.
401
00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:55,041
He's my best friend.
402
00:15:55,084 --> 00:15:57,130
You don't believe me?
403
00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:58,759
I don't know whatto
believe anymore, Adam.
404
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,263
This is so sad.
405
00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:01,656
You'remy new hero, Andi.
406
00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:03,353
What? No!
407
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:05,834
But this is
a hundred percent true!
408
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:07,879
Come to the hospital,
I'll prove it.
409
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:11,448
Prepare to apologize.
410
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:18,890
I'm sorry.
411
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:22,546
Dad.
412
00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:23,741
I need you to tell
Andi the truth
413
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,027
about where we were tonight.
414
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:26,724
Okay.
415
00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:28,639
I went to the fishing
store, you weren't there,
416
00:16:28,683 --> 00:16:30,467
so I felt betrayedand came home.
417
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:33,775
That's not true.
418
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:36,343
I know the truth. Mom, Dad
and Adam are having an affair
419
00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:37,344
with a mother-daughter team.
420
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,563
What's happening?
421
00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:41,261
Don't ask. He's got a theory.
422
00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:42,914
Oh, no. No, I'm right.
423
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:44,109
There are tons
of mini-documentaries about it
424
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:45,395
on the Internet.
425
00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:48,007
Andi, honey, you
have to believe me.
426
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,704
But nobody believes you.
427
00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:51,575
[mutters]
428
00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:53,055
Marcy does.
429
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:54,361
She masterminded
430
00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:55,816
the whole plan to keep
it a secret from you.
431
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,059
Right, Marcy?
432
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,689
What? Why would I keep
a secret from Andi?
433
00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,671
Because of the
shadow government.
434
00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:03,805
Are you on drugs?
435
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:07,374
This is crazy. I'm
telling the truth,
436
00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:09,811
and nobody
believes me.
Huh.
437
00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:11,987
That doesn't feel great, does it?
438
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,076
Why are you using your
439
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,165
"I'm about to teach
you a lesson" voice?
440
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:18,602
Because I've known
aboutthe pacemaker all day.
441
00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:20,909
What? Yeah. It's a good
thingyou're not wearing a hat,
442
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:24,347
'cause your mindjust got blown. You knew?
443
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:27,176
Mm-hmm. And you let me lie to you
while youwere lying to me?
444
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:28,656
That is something Iwould do!
445
00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:33,052
Wait. It's true? Daddy?
446
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,273
I didn't want anyoneto know.
447
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:38,796
Especially my bride.
448
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,712
I didn't want youto worry.Oh... honey,
449
00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:44,541
it was so sweet of
you to think of me.
450
00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:47,066
This is how your man treats you
when you wear pantyhose.
451
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,068
You hear that, Don?
452
00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:51,026
I'm gonna start
dressing like your mom.
453
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,159
Enjoy.
454
00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:56,249
I can work with that.
455
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:58,120
Uh, wait... Hold on.
456
00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:00,470
So, Don and Lowell
were in on it, too?
457
00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:01,819
Yes.
458
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:04,909
No, you weren't.No, I was not.
459
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,694
I wanted you to know
460
00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:08,324
that you are the boythat cried wolf, right?
461
00:18:08,348 --> 00:18:09,610
And I needed witnesses.
462
00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,133
I mean, if the boy cries wolf
463
00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:13,198
and there are no villagers
thereto see him get eaten,
464
00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:14,832
what's the point?
465
00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:17,357
Wow.
466
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:21,012
This is next-level.
467
00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:22,816
I wasn't even close to
pulling this off, was I?
468
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,538
[chuckling]: No, honey.
469
00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:27,454
So when I came over, you got me
470
00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:30,544
to accidentally blab something
about Adam? Yep.
471
00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:32,478
And you didn't needany
information from Don at all?
472
00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:34,939
Nope. I just needed villagers.
473
00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:37,159
I don't likejust being a villager.
474
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:38,769
Next year I'm trying outfor wolf.
475
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:42,445
How do you feel abouttelling the truth
476
00:18:42,469 --> 00:18:43,749
and not having peoplebelieve it?
477
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,080
Not great.
478
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,038
Kind of like how Ned
said Neil felt
479
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:48,625
when people thought he
faked the Moon landing.
480
00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:50,433
Who's Neil?
481
00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:52,000
Who's Ned? He
ison drugs.
482
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:55,351
I told you not to
tell that story.
483
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:04,273
Okay, here's the last one.
484
00:19:04,317 --> 00:19:05,598
You know how we're finally
watching Breaking Badtogether?
485
00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:08,147
Mm-hmm. I watched it three years ago
486
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,061
with Don in the trailer.
487
00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:11,498
It was when we were
working nights
488
00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:13,456
on the O'Bannon job.
489
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:14,849
Also, there was no O'Bannon job.
490
00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:17,765
Oh, hey, one more thing.
491
00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:18,896
[sighs]
492
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,856
There's something wrong
with your lasagna.
493
00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,750
Okay, I think we've covered
enough lies for one night.
494
00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:29,298
Uh, hey, I got a question:
495
00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:31,474
how did you find out
about my dad's pacemaker?
496
00:19:31,518 --> 00:19:32,562
Bev told me.
497
00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:33,998
JOE and ADAM:
What?
498
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,783
So Joe'sgetting a pacemaker
499
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:38,307
and there'sno fishing store?
500
00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:39,917
Adam lied to me?
501
00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:42,703
Of course he did,
he's your husband.
502
00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:45,009
I see.
503
00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:48,752
Hey... do you mind if I
havea little fun with this?
504
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:50,493
Be my guest.
505
00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:52,974
Oh, honey?
506
00:19:53,017 --> 00:19:55,716
You can take that
thing with you.
507
00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:02,679
How did you know?
508
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:04,246
I'm your emergency contact.
509
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:06,074
I know everything.
510
00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:09,599
But I didn't want you to
worryabout me worrying about you,
511
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:12,080
so I wasn'tgonna tell you.
512
00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:14,691
Dad, I thought you and Marcy
had a shadow government.
513
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,127
Aw, don't be ridiculous.
514
00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:18,260
There's no shadow government.
515
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:21,176
[chuckling]: That's right.
Bevand I run this family.
516
00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:30,482
Bevruns this family.
36644
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