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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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[UPBEAT MUSIC]
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♪♪
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- Honey.
- It's a phase.
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- He'll grow out of it.
- You know, you say that, but...
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Just pretend he isn't there.
That's what I do.
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Yeah, easy for you to
say, 'cause you don't know
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where his other paw is right now.
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All right, you know what? That's it.
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I'm sorry, he's going
in the living room.
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- You know what's gonna happen.
- I don't care.
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He's gonna have to get used to it.
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Come on, come on. There you go.
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All right, enjoy the living room.
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Sweetie, it's been going
on for almost a week,
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and I'm telling you, if
I don't get some sleep...
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Good luck. [CLEARS THROAT]
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[WALTER WHIMPERING]
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Sleeping?
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Fine, let him in.
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[EASYGOING MUSIC]
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♪♪
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♪ Tell me why ♪
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♪ I love you like I do ♪
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♪ Tell me who ♪
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♪ Can stop my heart as much as you ♪
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♪ If we take each other's hands ♪
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♪ We can fly into the final frontier ♪
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- ♪ I'm mad about you, baby ♪
- ♪ Final frontier ♪
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- ♪ I'm mad about you, baby ♪
- ♪ Final frontier ♪
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
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♪ Final frontier ♪
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[UPBEAT MUSIC]
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[LIQUID POURING]
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You'll be happy to know
your dog is now sound asleep.
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Yeah, sure, 'cause it's
9:00 in the morning.
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At night, not so much.
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What about the other
one? The two-legged one?
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- I think she's awake.
- Mm.
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Yeah, you know, I'd be awake too
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if I just got kicked out of college.
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It would just be so nice
to know what happened.
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When she's ready to talk about it.
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- I understand.
- I'm not gonna push.
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Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
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- Good morning.
- Hi, sweetie.
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You got kicked out of college?
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- Nice.
- She seemed ready.
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- Sweetie.
- Okay.
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Do you wanna know what happened?
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When you're ready to talk about it.
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I think she's pretty
ready to talk about it.
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- Yes.
- Okay.
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00:02:43,027 --> 00:02:45,050
Do you want NYU's version or mine?
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'Causer theirs... it's a little
exaggerated, if you ask me.
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Whatever... just tell us what happened
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and whatever it is, we'll
work through it together.
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I mean, it's not like
you've committed a crime.
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- Oh, no.
- You committed a crime?
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You need the backstory first.
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No, I need a sedative first.
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Would you just tell us
what happened, please?
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00:03:04,668 --> 00:03:06,902
So my gender studies class...
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"Mars and Venus Through
The Lens Between Us"...
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my professor was making the argument
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that true equality can only
come from true understanding,
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and then he posed a question
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as to whether or not true understanding
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between the genders is truly possible.
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- Of course it is.
- Absolutely not.
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Exactly. Is gender equality possible?
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I say no. So we had to write a paper
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based on an experiment of our choosing
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to prove or disprove our hypothesis.
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Mm, you know how when you stub your toe
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it doesn't hurt right away,
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but you know the pain is coming?
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That's this. What?
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Please just tell us what happened.
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I... roofied Rishi.
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- Good lord.
- You what?
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00:03:47,375 --> 00:03:49,568
- You roofied Rishi?
- Our Rishi?
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00:03:49,570 --> 00:03:53,038
As part of the given assignment, yes.
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00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,941
I slipped a date rape
drug into Rishi's drink.
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00:03:55,943 --> 00:03:58,410
Oh, my God, is he okay?
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00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:00,812
Of course.
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00:04:00,814 --> 00:04:03,582
- I mean, he will be, eventually.
- Oh, my God.
88
00:04:03,584 --> 00:04:05,685
You know, the thing is that
everybody was doing these
89
00:04:05,687 --> 00:04:06,993
dumbass experiments.
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00:04:06,995 --> 00:04:09,412
I chose a form of sex discrimination
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00:04:09,414 --> 00:04:11,604
that's been ignored:
the date rape culture
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00:04:11,606 --> 00:04:13,458
and how it's used to control women
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00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:15,927
with a perpetuation of fear
that men don't experience.
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00:04:15,929 --> 00:04:17,696
Well, that's good. That's very good.
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00:04:17,698 --> 00:04:19,931
- Yes, but she did...
- Was bad.
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00:04:19,933 --> 00:04:22,441
- Very, very, bad.
- Guys, I'm not stupid.
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I did the experiment in my dorm room
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under controlled conditions,
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00:04:25,539 --> 00:04:27,205
and I had Rishi sign a consent form.
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00:04:27,207 --> 00:04:28,840
Wait, if you had Rishi's consent,
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00:04:28,842 --> 00:04:30,166
why did you get kicked out?
102
00:04:30,168 --> 00:04:33,086
Some antifeminist angry
white guy down the hall
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narced me out to the
RA, who had to report it,
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00:04:35,816 --> 00:04:37,549
and that was it.
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The dean said she had
no choice. I was out.
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"Out" is not an option.
107
00:04:40,821 --> 00:04:42,587
You have to get back in.
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00:04:42,589 --> 00:04:43,745
I don't know.
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00:04:43,747 --> 00:04:45,690
You know, maybe school isn't for me.
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Really? Okay, And what's
the other option?
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00:04:49,696 --> 00:04:51,830
- I don't know.
- Yeah, okay. Exactly.
112
00:04:51,832 --> 00:04:53,698
So call the dean and tell them
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00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:55,333
we would like to come in as a family
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and talk this over, and
we'll get it figured out.
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Okay, okay.
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00:04:58,805 --> 00:05:00,138
- You want some orange juice?
- Sure.
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00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:02,507
No, I'll get it myself. Thank you.
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♪♪
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Mr. and Mrs. Buchman, if
this were just one infraction,
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00:05:10,817 --> 00:05:12,651
this would be a much
different conversation,
121
00:05:12,653 --> 00:05:15,420
but given the impressive
list of offenses
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00:05:15,422 --> 00:05:16,855
committed by your daughter...
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00:05:16,857 --> 00:05:18,990
"A list"? There's actually a list?
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00:05:18,992 --> 00:05:20,959
Mabel's been a very busy bee.
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00:05:20,961 --> 00:05:23,495
The physical altercation
with her roommate?
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That was a misunderstanding
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for which she has totally apologized.
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A fire safety violation
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00:05:28,769 --> 00:05:30,769
for having a lit
candle in her dorm room.
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Totally my fault.
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00:05:31,972 --> 00:05:33,471
I packed the candle in her stuff
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when we took her to school.
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00:05:34,498 --> 00:05:36,875
Yeah, so that's more her fault, really.
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00:05:36,877 --> 00:05:39,611
Dean Warren, I'm completely confident
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00:05:39,613 --> 00:05:41,179
that Mabel is very remorseful.
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00:05:41,181 --> 00:05:44,384
Yes, extremely remorseful,
I think we could say.
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00:05:46,587 --> 00:05:47,852
You're awfully quiet
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for someone with so much remorse.
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00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:55,427
- Well, to be honest...
- If I may?
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Please.
141
00:05:57,497 --> 00:06:00,332
As the subject of Mabel's
controlled experiment,
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00:06:00,334 --> 00:06:02,767
I was totally aware of
the limited risks involved.
143
00:06:02,769 --> 00:06:04,569
Thank you, Rishi.
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00:06:04,571 --> 00:06:06,504
Did you hear that? "Limited".
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00:06:06,506 --> 00:06:08,006
Thanks, I caught that.
146
00:06:08,008 --> 00:06:10,275
Not only was I more
than willing to help her,
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I believed wholeheartedly
in the point she was making
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about gender inequality,
and it was my true pleasure
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to contribute to her work.
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00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:21,052
What a guy.
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00:06:21,054 --> 00:06:22,887
Well, you're certainly a good friend.
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00:06:22,889 --> 00:06:24,856
Well, I try to be.
153
00:06:24,858 --> 00:06:27,192
So you have no lingering side effects?
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00:06:27,194 --> 00:06:28,460
None.
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Well, actually, on occasion...
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and it's happening much
less frequently, I...
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muffins!
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I shout random words,
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but it is getting a lot better.
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In all candor, this young
man's refusal to press charges
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is the only reason you're talking to me
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instead of law enforcement.
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Oh, I don't think there's any reason
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to involve law enforcement.
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Look, Dean Warren, we can't
change the past, right?
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So is there anything we can
do to... to get our daughter
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back into your great, great,
and very forgiving school?
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00:07:01,395 --> 00:07:03,228
I'm afraid the rubber has met the road
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00:07:03,230 --> 00:07:04,896
as far as your daughter
and her time here
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00:07:04,898 --> 00:07:06,364
at New York University.
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00:07:06,366 --> 00:07:09,634
So there's nothing
that she could say or do
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to get herself readmitted?
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I'm sorry, but for now,
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I think it's best we part company.
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00:07:14,775 --> 00:07:17,909
Oh, that... that actually wasn't a "no".
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00:07:17,911 --> 00:07:19,978
No, that was a no.
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00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:23,183
Oh, and just so we're totally clear: no.
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Well, on the bright side,
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you guys get all that
tuition money back.
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Ooh, and also a no.
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In the event of expulsion,
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tuition and all other
fees are forfeited.
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Okay, well, so much for the bright side.
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00:07:41,301 --> 00:07:43,270
Muhammad Ali!
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Totally getting better.
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♪♪
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Taking some time off from
school is perfectly acceptable.
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I did it. I did it in between
college and med school.
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Yeah, it was the best thing I ever did.
190
00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:01,864
I went backpacking all through the U.S.,
191
00:08:01,866 --> 00:08:05,279
climbed the Grand Tetons,
then made my way into Nebraska,
192
00:08:05,281 --> 00:08:08,243
where, unfortunately,
I contracted thrush.
193
00:08:08,245 --> 00:08:10,212
And then I made my way down south
194
00:08:10,214 --> 00:08:13,348
where these... these
hoodlums stole my backpack
195
00:08:13,350 --> 00:08:16,551
and I ended up getting
arrested for vagrancy,
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00:08:16,553 --> 00:08:19,287
and then I spent a night
in jail in South Car...
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00:08:19,289 --> 00:08:21,990
you know, I think it's best
that she go back to school.
198
00:08:21,992 --> 00:08:23,725
- Okay.
- What did I miss?
199
00:08:23,727 --> 00:08:25,260
Uh, thrush, a backpack,
200
00:08:25,262 --> 00:08:27,162
and Mark agrees Mabel
should go back to school.
201
00:08:27,164 --> 00:08:28,286
You know what, you guys?
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00:08:28,288 --> 00:08:29,811
Can we please talk about something
203
00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:32,533
- other than our daughter for one minute?
- You're absolutely right.
204
00:08:32,535 --> 00:08:34,158
So I'm listening to this
book the other day...
205
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,408
Something our grandparents never said...
206
00:08:36,410 --> 00:08:38,000
"I was listening to a book".
207
00:08:38,002 --> 00:08:41,833
And the reader... the narrator
sounds like you exactly.
208
00:08:41,835 --> 00:08:44,246
But I mean exactly.
209
00:08:44,248 --> 00:08:46,648
Leonora prayed the sound of the train
210
00:08:46,650 --> 00:08:49,217
would mask her sobs
from any who might hear,
211
00:08:49,219 --> 00:08:52,120
save for the strapping,
ebony-skinned man
212
00:08:52,122 --> 00:08:54,968
who suddenly appeared in the
empty seat across from her.
213
00:08:54,970 --> 00:08:56,270
Right?
214
00:08:56,272 --> 00:08:58,405
BOTH: "'Is this seat taken?' he asked,
215
00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:00,874
the words falling like dark, sweet honey
216
00:09:00,876 --> 00:09:02,417
on Leonora's ears.
217
00:09:02,419 --> 00:09:04,444
It is you! I knew it!
218
00:09:04,446 --> 00:09:06,079
I know! My wife has a secret talent.
219
00:09:06,081 --> 00:09:07,404
Go ahead, tell them, tell them!
220
00:09:07,406 --> 00:09:09,847
An old friend of mine
started an audiobook company.
221
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:12,119
He called one day and he
said, "You should do these.
222
00:09:12,121 --> 00:09:13,954
- You have the perfect voice".
- Doesn't she?
223
00:09:13,956 --> 00:09:15,656
Apparently I have the perfect voice.
224
00:09:15,658 --> 00:09:18,091
Sultry, yet not tacky.
225
00:09:18,093 --> 00:09:20,627
Powerful, not overbearing.
226
00:09:20,629 --> 00:09:23,697
Arresting, yet still soothing.
227
00:09:23,699 --> 00:09:25,265
But your name's not on here.
228
00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:27,100
It says "Antonia de Reinas".
229
00:09:27,102 --> 00:09:28,836
"Tonya from Queens".
230
00:09:28,838 --> 00:09:29,970
- [LAUGHS]
- I love it.
231
00:09:29,972 --> 00:09:31,305
Play some more. [STAMMERS]
232
00:09:31,307 --> 00:09:32,873
Please, just for me. Just for me.
233
00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:35,983
An electric shock
ran through her loins
234
00:09:35,985 --> 00:09:38,245
as she envisioned the
forbidden pleasures to come
235
00:09:38,247 --> 00:09:40,013
on that thundering train of love.
236
00:09:40,015 --> 00:09:41,215
Oh, yeah.
237
00:09:41,217 --> 00:09:43,917
Wait a second, you're into erotica?
238
00:09:43,919 --> 00:09:46,820
- Since when?
- High school.
239
00:09:46,822 --> 00:09:48,889
Really? Okay. And why?
240
00:09:48,891 --> 00:09:50,257
Are you gonna whisk me away
241
00:09:50,259 --> 00:09:51,959
to your mountain retreat in the Pyrenees
242
00:09:51,961 --> 00:09:53,427
and describe the curve of my neck
243
00:09:53,429 --> 00:09:54,995
and the softness of my shoulders
244
00:09:54,997 --> 00:09:56,797
for two full paragraphs?
245
00:09:56,799 --> 00:09:58,131
- Yeah...
- I didn't think so.
246
00:09:58,133 --> 00:10:00,767
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
247
00:10:00,769 --> 00:10:04,769
♪♪
248
00:10:06,489 --> 00:10:08,612
[SNIFFS] Okay, what is that...
249
00:10:08,614 --> 00:10:11,144
- I know that smell.
- Shh, it's patchouli.
250
00:10:11,146 --> 00:10:13,247
I'm massaging Walter behind the ears
251
00:10:13,249 --> 00:10:14,371
with patchouli oil.
252
00:10:14,373 --> 00:10:16,550
- It's supposed to be calming.
- Oh, I love that.
253
00:10:16,552 --> 00:10:18,651
I had a girlfriend in tenth grade...
254
00:10:18,653 --> 00:10:21,355
Melissa Friedman... smelled
like that all the time.
255
00:10:21,357 --> 00:10:24,424
- Shh, I think he's sleeping.
- Oh, hallelujah.
256
00:10:24,426 --> 00:10:26,460
Just have to be a little creative.
257
00:10:26,462 --> 00:10:29,527
Okay, your very tired
husband thanks you profusely.
258
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,464
You're welcome.
259
00:10:37,306 --> 00:10:41,775
Okay, Melissa, you have
really let yourself go.
260
00:10:41,777 --> 00:10:45,777
♪♪
261
00:10:46,582 --> 00:10:47,781
I'm sorry.
262
00:10:47,783 --> 00:10:49,516
I... I don't know
what else to say, okay?
263
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:51,329
I'm sorry. I really am.
264
00:10:51,331 --> 00:10:53,253
About everything.
265
00:10:53,255 --> 00:10:55,155
And I'm... I'm really
sorry about the money.
266
00:10:55,157 --> 00:10:56,309
It's not about the money.
267
00:10:56,311 --> 00:10:58,130
Yeah, but it's not
not about the money.
268
00:10:58,132 --> 00:11:00,661
It's very much not not about the money.
269
00:11:00,663 --> 00:11:02,095
- What?
- Don't worry about it.
270
00:11:02,097 --> 00:11:03,597
We appreciate the apologies,
271
00:11:03,599 --> 00:11:05,232
but what you need to be doing right now
272
00:11:05,234 --> 00:11:07,801
is figuring out how you're
gonna get back into NYU.
273
00:11:07,803 --> 00:11:11,305
You heard the dean.
She said no several times.
274
00:11:11,307 --> 00:11:13,473
Sweetie, you're not
gonna get anywhere in life
275
00:11:13,475 --> 00:11:15,442
if you accept every "no" you hear.
276
00:11:15,444 --> 00:11:17,367
You hear "no", you gotta question it.
277
00:11:17,369 --> 00:11:18,925
Push back.
278
00:11:18,927 --> 00:11:21,448
- I don't think I can.
- Really?
279
00:11:21,450 --> 00:11:23,417
Because every "no" we ever threw at you
280
00:11:23,419 --> 00:11:25,585
from age three to like an hour ago...
281
00:11:25,587 --> 00:11:27,921
zero problem pushing back against those.
282
00:11:27,923 --> 00:11:29,323
Yeah, you guys are easy.
283
00:11:29,325 --> 00:11:32,426
Well, isn't that delightful?
284
00:11:32,428 --> 00:11:36,196
This is not going to be easy,
turning this "no" into a "yes".
285
00:11:36,198 --> 00:11:38,465
Find a real, true argument
286
00:11:38,467 --> 00:11:40,100
for why they should let you back in.
287
00:11:40,102 --> 00:11:42,469
Something you believe in 110%.
288
00:11:42,471 --> 00:11:44,938
Yeah, something that
totally comes from you.
289
00:11:44,940 --> 00:11:46,575
Okay.
290
00:11:47,343 --> 00:11:48,809
What should I say?
291
00:11:48,811 --> 00:11:50,577
It can't come from us!
That's the whole...
292
00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:52,512
Do you not hear us when we speak?
293
00:11:52,514 --> 00:11:54,114
Start thinking about it.
294
00:11:54,116 --> 00:11:56,249
Okay, so your dog...
295
00:11:56,251 --> 00:11:58,151
- Is he okay out there?
- Oh, yes.
296
00:11:58,153 --> 00:11:59,786
Luis is with him. Don't worry.
297
00:11:59,788 --> 00:12:03,290
Your dog is now favorite
person in the whole street.
298
00:12:03,292 --> 00:12:05,325
- Everybody love him.
- Oh, good.
299
00:12:05,327 --> 00:12:08,028
I hope it's okay, I give him just now
300
00:12:08,030 --> 00:12:10,063
a little bit of ossobuco.
301
00:12:10,065 --> 00:12:11,800
- He loved it.
- Well, you know what?
302
00:12:11,802 --> 00:12:14,301
Dogs rarely say no to a piece of veal.
303
00:12:14,303 --> 00:12:16,637
I don't give him whole
piece in one time.
304
00:12:16,639 --> 00:12:20,173
I give him little bit,
little bit, little bit,
305
00:12:20,175 --> 00:12:22,514
and after last little bit,
306
00:12:22,516 --> 00:12:24,906
I see his eyes start to go closing.
307
00:12:24,908 --> 00:12:26,813
I think this will help him sleep.
308
00:12:26,815 --> 00:12:29,182
I give you some to take home.
You try with him tonight.
309
00:12:29,184 --> 00:12:30,784
Oh, thank you.
Listen, we'll try anything.
310
00:12:30,786 --> 00:12:32,829
Remember, not all at one time.
311
00:12:32,831 --> 00:12:34,919
Yeah, no, no. Little bit,
little bit, Little bit.
312
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,990
- Got it.
- Thank you, Lucia.
313
00:12:36,992 --> 00:12:38,191
That's very kind of you.
314
00:12:38,193 --> 00:12:40,160
So, you figure it out?
315
00:12:40,162 --> 00:12:41,274
What?
316
00:12:41,276 --> 00:12:42,932
What you're gonna say to the dean.
317
00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:44,631
God, give me some time.
318
00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:46,800
Hey, welcome to the real world, kid.
319
00:12:46,802 --> 00:12:48,935
You don't always get
all the time you need.
320
00:12:48,937 --> 00:12:51,838
Yeah, yeah, I know what
the real world is like.
321
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,907
Oh, really? Do you?
322
00:12:53,909 --> 00:12:55,942
I do. What?
323
00:12:55,944 --> 00:12:58,512
What, do you want me
to get, like, a job?
324
00:12:58,514 --> 00:12:59,880
What do you mean, "like a job"?
325
00:12:59,882 --> 00:13:03,216
If it's like a job, it's probably a job.
326
00:13:03,218 --> 00:13:05,452
Yes, until you get
yourself back into NYU,
327
00:13:05,454 --> 00:13:07,654
I think it's a very good idea.
328
00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:10,357
Okay, fine. I will get a job.
329
00:13:10,359 --> 00:13:12,492
You don't just say "I'll get a job"
330
00:13:12,494 --> 00:13:14,093
and one magically appears.
331
00:13:14,095 --> 00:13:17,130
- That's not how things work.
- It takes time to get a job.
332
00:13:17,132 --> 00:13:18,331
It takes effort.
333
00:13:18,333 --> 00:13:20,233
It takes skills to get a job.
334
00:13:20,235 --> 00:13:22,436
What, you need a job? That's so funny.
335
00:13:22,438 --> 00:13:24,471
We were just talking
about bringing somebody on.
336
00:13:24,473 --> 00:13:26,183
- You're hired.
- Great.
337
00:13:26,185 --> 00:13:29,276
- Hey, 10:00 tomorrow morning.
- See you then.
338
00:13:29,278 --> 00:13:31,144
Well, you guys were right.
339
00:13:31,146 --> 00:13:34,283
The real world is so hard.
340
00:13:35,150 --> 00:13:37,017
Mmm.
341
00:13:37,019 --> 00:13:41,354
♪♪
342
00:13:41,356 --> 00:13:42,889
Okay, I don't want to jinx anything,
343
00:13:42,891 --> 00:13:45,292
but Walter's in the living
room and I think he's asleep.
344
00:13:45,294 --> 00:13:46,860
He didn't even flinch
when I walked past him.
345
00:13:46,862 --> 00:13:48,217
Oh, praise the Lord.
346
00:13:48,219 --> 00:13:49,863
Hurry up, get into bed. Shut the lights.
347
00:13:49,865 --> 00:13:52,912
- Let's hit the hay.
- Oh, no, my phone's out there.
348
00:13:52,914 --> 00:13:54,167
No, don't... don't go out there
349
00:13:54,169 --> 00:13:55,202
'cause you're gonna wake him up.
350
00:13:55,204 --> 00:13:56,712
- Well, I'm not gonna...
- Seriously, you can live
351
00:13:56,714 --> 00:13:58,337
without your phone for one night.
352
00:13:58,339 --> 00:14:00,273
- I'm begging you.
- Shh, fine.
353
00:14:00,275 --> 00:14:02,578
Shh.
354
00:14:05,781 --> 00:14:07,981
Good night.
355
00:14:07,983 --> 00:14:09,483
[SIGHS]
356
00:14:09,485 --> 00:14:12,385
His basketball uniform, damp with sweat,
357
00:14:12,387 --> 00:14:15,455
clung to every muscled inch of his torso
358
00:14:15,457 --> 00:14:17,924
and his round, proud posterior,
359
00:14:17,926 --> 00:14:21,061
and in that moment, to
myself, I whispered,
360
00:14:21,063 --> 00:14:23,196
"Game on".
361
00:14:23,198 --> 00:14:26,199
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
362
00:14:26,201 --> 00:14:28,969
♪♪
363
00:14:28,971 --> 00:14:31,905
Okay, this patient, I'm
telling you right now,
364
00:14:31,907 --> 00:14:33,173
can be very distracting.
365
00:14:33,175 --> 00:14:34,752
- How so?
- Very nice guy.
366
00:14:34,754 --> 00:14:36,543
Open, easy to talk to,
367
00:14:36,545 --> 00:14:38,478
but he wears very tight biker shorts
368
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:39,846
at every session.
369
00:14:39,848 --> 00:14:41,882
So he's environmentally conscious.
370
00:14:41,884 --> 00:14:44,853
- How is that bad?
- He doesn't own a bike.
371
00:14:45,787 --> 00:14:48,155
Okay, I don't know what
this dog's been eating...
372
00:14:48,157 --> 00:14:49,379
Ossobucco.
373
00:14:49,381 --> 00:14:51,419
Yeah, well, he just "ossobucco'd"
374
00:14:51,421 --> 00:14:52,746
- all over the lobby.
- Oh, my God.
375
00:14:52,748 --> 00:14:55,762
Your mother tells me
you're starting a job today.
376
00:14:55,764 --> 00:14:57,430
Yeah, you'd better get
going. Don't be late.
377
00:14:57,432 --> 00:14:59,799
Yeah, I was thinking, Mommy:
378
00:14:59,801 --> 00:15:01,568
what if I start work tomorrow
379
00:15:01,570 --> 00:15:03,203
and today you and I hang out?
380
00:15:03,205 --> 00:15:06,239
Just catch a movie. Get a mani-pedi.
381
00:15:06,241 --> 00:15:08,742
- Have some time to reconnect.
- Uh-uh.
382
00:15:08,744 --> 00:15:10,377
- When did I lose you?
- At "Mommy".
383
00:15:10,379 --> 00:15:12,512
- Go to work.
- Yeah, yeah.
384
00:15:12,514 --> 00:15:15,215
Go be a wonderful, productive part
385
00:15:15,217 --> 00:15:16,750
of the American economy.
386
00:15:16,752 --> 00:15:18,685
Good luck, baby!
387
00:15:18,687 --> 00:15:20,654
I think it'll be good training for you
388
00:15:20,656 --> 00:15:22,088
if you have to deal with a patient
389
00:15:22,090 --> 00:15:23,456
whose issues are a little...
390
00:15:23,458 --> 00:15:25,892
well, hello, handsome boy.
391
00:15:25,894 --> 00:15:29,462
- Wow, he really likes you.
- And mama likes you.
392
00:15:29,464 --> 00:15:32,954
What a big, strong,
strapping young man you are.
393
00:15:32,956 --> 00:15:35,535
Wow, he really likes you.
394
00:15:35,537 --> 00:15:36,870
[GASPS] Oh, my God.
395
00:15:36,872 --> 00:15:39,072
- What?
- It's your voice.
396
00:15:39,074 --> 00:15:40,874
He recognizes your voice.
397
00:15:40,876 --> 00:15:43,543
- Well, I'm here often enough.
- No, that voice.
398
00:15:43,545 --> 00:15:45,916
Your "good doggy" voice is just the same
399
00:15:45,918 --> 00:15:47,714
as your "hot sex on the train" voice.
400
00:15:47,716 --> 00:15:49,790
I don't think so, and even if it was,
401
00:15:49,792 --> 00:15:51,084
how would he know that?
402
00:15:51,086 --> 00:15:54,120
Okay, last night I
left my phone out here,
403
00:15:54,122 --> 00:15:55,589
and your audiobook was playing.
404
00:15:55,591 --> 00:15:58,091
It put him right to
sleep. It was a miracle.
405
00:15:58,093 --> 00:16:01,261
- My nasty romance stories.
- Pretty sure, yeah.
406
00:16:01,263 --> 00:16:03,430
Okay, I know you're sleep deprived...
407
00:16:03,432 --> 00:16:06,399
No, no, no, no, you watch.
408
00:16:06,401 --> 00:16:07,891
Little did Rose know
409
00:16:07,893 --> 00:16:10,403
that the young boy she'd
not seen since childhood
410
00:16:10,405 --> 00:16:13,607
would become the man who'd
break her heart not once...
411
00:16:13,609 --> 00:16:15,775
Do you see? It's your voice.
412
00:16:15,777 --> 00:16:18,044
It is not my voice. It's your bagel.
413
00:16:18,046 --> 00:16:19,069
He smells your bagel.
414
00:16:19,071 --> 00:16:22,148
No, no, no, this is not bagel related.
415
00:16:22,150 --> 00:16:23,617
All right, exhibit B:
416
00:16:23,619 --> 00:16:25,619
notice I am stepping away.
417
00:16:25,621 --> 00:16:28,188
The bagel is completely unprotected,
418
00:16:28,190 --> 00:16:29,756
and yet, he makes no move for it.
419
00:16:29,758 --> 00:16:31,191
Okay, now I'm gonna call him.
420
00:16:31,193 --> 00:16:33,760
Hey, Walter. Come here, buddy.
421
00:16:33,762 --> 00:16:36,129
Not responding to the sound of my voice.
422
00:16:36,131 --> 00:16:37,444
And now...
423
00:16:37,446 --> 00:16:38,902
But a third time,
424
00:16:38,904 --> 00:16:41,459
- which would be Nicholas's crowning blow.
- Yeah.
425
00:16:41,461 --> 00:16:43,783
Had she not felt the
cruelty in his lips,
426
00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:45,108
the indifference of his cool voice...
427
00:16:45,110 --> 00:16:47,374
- It is your voice.
- It's not my voice.
428
00:16:47,376 --> 00:16:49,442
It's your phone. He thinks it's a toy.
429
00:16:49,444 --> 00:16:51,578
It's not the phone, and to prove it,
430
00:16:51,580 --> 00:16:53,346
I'm gonna put the phone down.
431
00:16:53,348 --> 00:16:55,511
And exhibit C: do one of your books.
432
00:16:55,513 --> 00:16:57,874
- Excuse me?
- Do one of your naughty, dirty books.
433
00:16:57,876 --> 00:16:59,298
Honey, call me old fashioned,
434
00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:02,022
but I am not performing
erotica for your dog.
435
00:17:02,024 --> 00:17:04,137
It does not have to be erotica.
436
00:17:04,139 --> 00:17:06,126
Say anything. Tell
him about your morning.
437
00:17:06,128 --> 00:17:07,278
Cover all the mirrors,
438
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,896
because I will not be able
to look at myself after this.
439
00:17:09,898 --> 00:17:11,564
This morning, I got up at 7:00...
440
00:17:11,566 --> 00:17:13,633
No, no, no, use the voice.
441
00:17:13,635 --> 00:17:16,603
- I'm better than this.
- Just do it.
442
00:17:16,605 --> 00:17:19,906
I made two poached eggs this morning
443
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:22,676
with two pieces of buttered toast.
444
00:17:22,678 --> 00:17:24,911
Then I checked my mail, and then I...
445
00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:26,379
[LAUGHING]
446
00:17:26,381 --> 00:17:29,983
All right, it's the voice.
447
00:17:29,985 --> 00:17:33,019
All right-y, we open for lunch at 11:30,
448
00:17:33,021 --> 00:17:35,722
so... so the tables
should be set by 11:00.
449
00:17:35,724 --> 00:17:37,590
Set by 11:00. Got it.
450
00:17:37,592 --> 00:17:40,794
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
451
00:17:40,796 --> 00:17:42,028
Oh, yeah, you always gotta
452
00:17:42,030 --> 00:17:43,963
check the glasses for water spots.
453
00:17:43,965 --> 00:17:46,866
Lucia sees water spots,
she's not gonna be happy.
454
00:17:46,868 --> 00:17:49,502
[LAUGHS] Um, do you
mind if I ask a question?
455
00:17:49,504 --> 00:17:51,371
- Do you recycle?
- Oh, yeah, of course.
456
00:17:51,373 --> 00:17:52,706
Now, the napkins...
457
00:17:52,708 --> 00:17:54,074
That's great, 'cause it feels like
458
00:17:54,076 --> 00:17:55,875
most people are killing
the planet for sport.
459
00:17:55,877 --> 00:17:57,444
Do you have a food waste program?
460
00:17:57,446 --> 00:17:59,446
- Uh... uh, definitely, yeah.
- Good.
461
00:17:59,448 --> 00:18:01,247
Good, 'cause composted food scraps
462
00:18:01,249 --> 00:18:02,615
can fertilize a community garden
463
00:18:02,617 --> 00:18:04,984
that gives families
access to fresh produce.
464
00:18:04,986 --> 00:18:06,653
You know what, I actually knew that.
465
00:18:06,655 --> 00:18:08,221
[LAUGHS] So, the napkins.
466
00:18:08,223 --> 00:18:09,522
About the menus:
467
00:18:09,524 --> 00:18:11,791
some of your prices seem a little high.
468
00:18:11,793 --> 00:18:14,627
Do you ever consider doing
a "pay what you can" thing?
469
00:18:14,629 --> 00:18:16,029
"Pay what who can"?
470
00:18:16,031 --> 00:18:19,101
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
471
00:18:20,902 --> 00:18:22,469
Did she just call me a Communist?
472
00:18:22,471 --> 00:18:24,838
Eh, no. No, no, no, that's Italian.
473
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:28,308
"Comunista" means
"lovely helpful niece."
474
00:18:28,310 --> 00:18:30,377
So, um...
475
00:18:30,379 --> 00:18:34,314
♪♪
476
00:18:34,316 --> 00:18:35,715
I don't want to jinx it,
477
00:18:35,717 --> 00:18:38,551
but I think we're in for
a long, restful night.
478
00:18:38,553 --> 00:18:40,620
Look at that. Genius.
479
00:18:40,622 --> 00:18:43,623
It's like a DJ, only furrier.
480
00:18:43,625 --> 00:18:45,225
And you just keep those on, buddy.
481
00:18:45,227 --> 00:18:48,094
It's gonna be you and your
friend Tonya all night long.
482
00:18:48,096 --> 00:18:50,163
[DOORBELL RINGS]
483
00:18:50,165 --> 00:18:51,831
It's kinda late.
484
00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:54,801
- You expecting anybody?
- Nope, not me.
485
00:18:54,803 --> 00:18:57,303
Ooh, late-night visit's never good.
486
00:18:57,305 --> 00:18:58,394
I'm... I'm gonna stay positive.
487
00:18:58,396 --> 00:19:00,273
I'm gonna say it's the Rockettes
488
00:19:00,275 --> 00:19:03,376
with free tickets for the
"Christmas Spectacular".
489
00:19:03,378 --> 00:19:05,512
- Uh, hey.
- Okay, not spectacular.
490
00:19:05,514 --> 00:19:06,979
So sorry to bother you guys so late.
491
00:19:06,981 --> 00:19:08,548
- Are... are you sleeping?
- No, come in.
492
00:19:08,550 --> 00:19:09,783
- [STAMMERING]
- Is everything okay?
493
00:19:09,785 --> 00:19:10,863
How'd it go with Mabel?
494
00:19:10,865 --> 00:19:12,454
Uh, yeah, that's kind of the thing.
495
00:19:12,456 --> 00:19:14,587
Oh-ho-ho. What is she, fired?
496
00:19:14,589 --> 00:19:17,157
[LAUGHS]
497
00:19:17,159 --> 00:19:18,758
Yeah, actually.
498
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:19,959
- Oh, boy, what happened?
- You're kidding.
499
00:19:19,961 --> 00:19:22,328
- Uh, come sit.
- Oh, boy.
500
00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:25,432
Uh, okay, Paulie, James,
501
00:19:25,434 --> 00:19:26,633
y-you know I love Mabel.
502
00:19:26,635 --> 00:19:27,767
- We both do.
- Love her.
503
00:19:27,769 --> 00:19:29,103
Like she is my own kid.
504
00:19:29,105 --> 00:19:31,519
Like our own child, which we don't have.
505
00:19:31,521 --> 00:19:33,173
- Yeah, she's so smart.
- So smart.
506
00:19:33,175 --> 00:19:35,708
- Such a good heart.
- Big beautiful heart,
507
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:37,677
Eh, but as an employee...
508
00:19:37,679 --> 00:19:39,646
The most worst employee.
509
00:19:39,648 --> 00:19:42,951
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
510
00:19:48,757 --> 00:19:50,657
- Yeah, not a good employee.
- Okay.
511
00:19:50,659 --> 00:19:53,149
We're so sorry. How was she not good?
512
00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,573
Like, what did she do?
513
00:19:54,575 --> 00:19:57,032
"What did she do?"
514
00:19:57,034 --> 00:19:59,232
Well, I... I don't want
to give you the full list.
515
00:19:59,234 --> 00:20:01,234
- Oh, another list.
- [STAMMERS]
516
00:20:01,236 --> 00:20:02,569
During her first break,
517
00:20:02,571 --> 00:20:04,037
she tried to unionize the staff.
518
00:20:04,039 --> 00:20:06,406
She... she called my
meat guy a murderer.
519
00:20:06,408 --> 00:20:07,907
Not to mention we had six lobsters.
520
00:20:07,909 --> 00:20:09,809
She had the busboy take
them down to the East River
521
00:20:09,811 --> 00:20:11,780
to set them free.
522
00:20:14,716 --> 00:20:16,182
We're so sorry.
523
00:20:16,184 --> 00:20:18,384
How did she take it when you let her go?
524
00:20:18,386 --> 00:20:20,186
Uh, I'm glad you asked.
525
00:20:20,188 --> 00:20:21,855
Uh, could you tell her?
526
00:20:21,857 --> 00:20:23,756
Better, I think, to come from you.
527
00:20:23,758 --> 00:20:24,958
You are her parents.
528
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,293
You she already no like so much.
529
00:20:27,295 --> 00:20:29,295
- [SIGHS]
- Uh, sure.
530
00:20:29,297 --> 00:20:32,065
- BOTH: Okay.
- Ira, Lucia, what's going on?
531
00:20:32,067 --> 00:20:34,701
- Is everything okay?
- Mabel.
532
00:20:34,703 --> 00:20:37,737
Uh, you know I love you.
533
00:20:37,739 --> 00:20:40,175
I love you so much.
534
00:20:48,149 --> 00:20:50,183
Yeah, okay, okay. She
gets it, she gets it.
535
00:20:50,185 --> 00:20:51,885
Yeah, good night. Good night, everybody.
536
00:20:51,887 --> 00:20:54,888
Okay, thanks, guys.
537
00:20:54,890 --> 00:20:57,824
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- I'm fired, aren't I?
538
00:20:57,826 --> 00:21:01,728
Well, you're not not fired.
539
00:21:01,730 --> 00:21:03,930
Oh, well. Doesn't matter.
540
00:21:03,932 --> 00:21:05,676
Uh, actually, it does. It matters.
541
00:21:05,678 --> 00:21:08,334
I strongly suggest you
make a plan for the dean.
542
00:21:08,336 --> 00:21:10,737
Mom, Dad, calm down.
543
00:21:10,739 --> 00:21:13,072
It is totally figured out.
544
00:21:13,074 --> 00:21:15,208
- What is figured out?
- The plan.
545
00:21:15,210 --> 00:21:17,288
Tomorrow morning, I am pushing back
546
00:21:17,290 --> 00:21:20,413
against the dean's "no"
with an amazing argument.
547
00:21:20,415 --> 00:21:21,748
And the best thing?
548
00:21:21,750 --> 00:21:24,050
It's totally coming from me.
549
00:21:24,052 --> 00:21:27,153
- Oh, Lord.
- Okay, that's not good at all.
550
00:21:27,155 --> 00:21:30,557
♪♪
551
00:21:30,559 --> 00:21:32,258
So let me understand this:
552
00:21:32,260 --> 00:21:35,862
you want to construct
an entire course of study
553
00:21:35,864 --> 00:21:36,953
based on the premise
554
00:21:36,955 --> 00:21:39,145
that this country's
higher education system,
555
00:21:39,147 --> 00:21:40,965
including this university
556
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:43,724
which you are attempting
to get back into,
557
00:21:43,726 --> 00:21:47,818
is antiquated, ineffective, and useless.
558
00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:49,977
Pretty much.
559
00:21:49,979 --> 00:21:53,570
I can't believe I'm
saying this, but go on.
560
00:21:53,572 --> 00:21:54,847
No disrespect,
561
00:21:54,849 --> 00:21:58,518
but institutional learning?
562
00:21:58,520 --> 00:21:59,619
Dead.
563
00:21:59,621 --> 00:22:01,087
All you read about these days
564
00:22:01,089 --> 00:22:04,057
is college degrees
having little or no value
565
00:22:04,059 --> 00:22:05,858
and how the pursuit of said degrees
566
00:22:05,860 --> 00:22:07,927
plunges young people into crippling debt
567
00:22:07,929 --> 00:22:09,929
for years and years.
568
00:22:09,931 --> 00:22:12,700
And I admit, I'm a rule-breaker,
569
00:22:12,702 --> 00:22:16,769
but this is a very important
time for rule-breakers.
570
00:22:16,771 --> 00:22:19,439
Responsible ones who ask questions
571
00:22:19,441 --> 00:22:20,869
and push back
572
00:22:20,871 --> 00:22:23,658
and challenge an out-of-touch
educational system
573
00:22:23,660 --> 00:22:27,082
that doesn't see how
out-of-touch it truly is.
574
00:22:28,283 --> 00:22:30,249
Ms. Buchman,
575
00:22:30,251 --> 00:22:34,354
do not make regret what
I am about to say...
576
00:22:34,356 --> 00:22:36,389
but welcome back.
577
00:22:36,391 --> 00:22:39,629
- Thank you.
- The Treaty of Versailles!
578
00:22:39,631 --> 00:22:42,028
Justin Timberlake!
579
00:22:42,030 --> 00:22:43,596
I think I'm just excited.
580
00:22:43,598 --> 00:22:45,865
- [LAUGHS]
- Yeah.
581
00:22:45,867 --> 00:22:48,935
♪♪
582
00:22:48,937 --> 00:22:51,371
"We sat across from
each other at the table,
583
00:22:51,373 --> 00:22:53,506
the distance between our chairs
584
00:22:53,508 --> 00:22:55,241
feeling like a vast divide
585
00:22:55,243 --> 00:22:58,246
we could not resist crossing".
586
00:23:00,649 --> 00:23:02,548
"We were hungry for the meal
587
00:23:02,550 --> 00:23:05,952
that only we could supply
to each other in private.
588
00:23:05,954 --> 00:23:07,954
We could wait no longer.
589
00:23:07,956 --> 00:23:09,856
Our hands flew out to each other,
590
00:23:09,858 --> 00:23:12,091
clutching hair, clothing,
591
00:23:12,093 --> 00:23:15,864
and our warm, wanting bodies".
592
00:23:27,007 --> 00:23:29,163
I'm good.
593
00:23:29,165 --> 00:23:33,165
♪♪
594
00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:37,289
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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