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1
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Baby. Baby, what's the matter?
2
00:00:02,461 --> 00:00:07,130
Oh, I just got off the phone,
and Susie Pollack is...
3
00:00:07,165 --> 00:00:08,798
- dead.
- Ohh.
4
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,267
- Oh, my God.
- I'm so sorry, Mom.
5
00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:11,635
That's... It's... It's...
6
00:00:11,670 --> 00:00:14,170
Dead set on staying in Florida.
7
00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:18,808
Deb, you've got to stop
with the awkward pauses.
8
00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:22,512
Every sentence is like a
roller coaster with you, Ma.
9
00:00:22,547 --> 00:00:24,814
Susie was my last friend here.
10
00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:26,683
I thought she was coming home this week,
11
00:00:26,718 --> 00:00:28,885
but now there's nobody left.
12
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,622
The Steins retired down in
Miami, and the Posners...
13
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,291
well, they're always traveling,
14
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:37,961
and the Stutmans... they're in prison.
15
00:00:39,931 --> 00:00:41,931
Oh, Stewie, everybody's moving on
16
00:00:41,967 --> 00:00:44,668
with their next chapter but us.
17
00:00:44,703 --> 00:00:46,970
Don't worry, babe.
We'll... We'll get there.
18
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:50,273
Oh, and there's even more bad news.
19
00:00:50,309 --> 00:00:51,808
Do you remember Nancy Cohen?
20
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:53,209
Sure.
21
00:00:53,245 --> 00:00:56,179
Well, Susie told me that she died.
22
00:00:56,214 --> 00:00:58,048
Let's wait for it.
23
00:00:58,083 --> 00:01:01,217
Her hair blond.
24
00:01:01,253 --> 00:01:03,153
- See? We're learning.
- Yeah. This is good.
25
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:07,557
And got hit by a bus leaving the salon!
26
00:01:07,592 --> 00:01:10,960
Oh, it's just awful!
27
00:01:11,096 --> 00:01:16,096
28
00:01:16,968 --> 00:01:18,868
Where are you two off to today?
29
00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:20,770
Couples therapy with Marcia.
30
00:01:20,806 --> 00:01:22,072
It's been so helpful.
31
00:01:22,107 --> 00:01:23,873
Last week we made some real progress
32
00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:25,342
on how to better hear each other.
33
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:26,443
- Right, Dave?
- Hmm?
34
00:01:26,478 --> 00:01:29,346
Did you want to get a beer?
35
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:30,847
I don't like this.
36
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:33,983
Couples therapy means there's a problem.
37
00:01:34,019 --> 00:01:37,387
David, is she not making you happy?
38
00:01:38,156 --> 00:01:41,157
Kiss my right cheek for "yes",
my left cheek for "no",
39
00:01:41,193 --> 00:01:44,661
and flat on the lips
if you feel like it.
40
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,832
And this is why we're in therapy.
41
00:01:48,867 --> 00:01:51,101
Mom, of course there's no problem.
42
00:01:51,136 --> 00:01:52,869
We're just going to Marcia to learn
43
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:55,772
how to better be honest
about our feelings.
44
00:01:55,807 --> 00:01:58,074
Right? That's why we go?
45
00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:00,810
Well, it sounds like you're
paying some stranger for advice
46
00:02:00,846 --> 00:02:03,480
when I could give it to you for free.
47
00:02:03,515 --> 00:02:05,048
You're perfect, girls love you,
48
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,384
guys want to be you, you
married the perfect man,
49
00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:09,252
I'm the perfect mother, session over.
50
00:02:09,287 --> 00:02:11,521
- Hoo!
- I'm running late.
51
00:02:11,556 --> 00:02:13,957
Boy, the only downside
to using Joanna's office
52
00:02:13,992 --> 00:02:17,594
is I got to sneak in while
they're out walking all the dogs
53
00:02:17,629 --> 00:02:19,629
because if they catch my scent,
54
00:02:19,664 --> 00:02:23,099
let's just say the lipstick
comes out, you know?
55
00:02:23,135 --> 00:02:26,669
Pretty soon I'm gonna
have us swimming in cash
56
00:02:26,705 --> 00:02:28,037
and swimming in the Caribbean.
57
00:02:28,073 --> 00:02:29,305
Mm.
58
00:02:29,341 --> 00:02:31,474
Or you could take that newfound wealth
59
00:02:31,510 --> 00:02:33,743
and save it for maybe one day...
60
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,619
and I'm just putting this
together right now...
61
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:36,620
when you move out.
62
00:02:36,648 --> 00:02:38,515
The reefs down there are dying, Davey.
63
00:02:38,550 --> 00:02:40,150
We got to get there fast.
64
00:02:40,185 --> 00:02:43,219
And I like to see the
fish before I eat them.
65
00:02:44,856 --> 00:02:46,356
Go get 'em, tiger.
66
00:02:46,391 --> 00:02:47,991
- Mwah!
- Mwah!
67
00:02:48,026 --> 00:02:49,726
- Have a good day.
- Okay.
68
00:02:49,761 --> 00:02:51,027
[CHUCKLES]
69
00:02:51,062 --> 00:02:53,062
Oh, I'm so proud of him.
70
00:02:53,098 --> 00:02:55,465
I just wish he didn't have
to go through this alone.
71
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:58,968
I mean, I should figure out
a way to make money, too.
72
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:01,905
Then we could take two vacations.
73
00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:04,774
Or you could pay a bill, any bill.
74
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,043
You could pay that guy Bill
that you backed up into.
75
00:03:07,078 --> 00:03:08,178
He's been calling a lot.
76
00:03:08,213 --> 00:03:09,979
Shh, shh, shh, shh!
77
00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:13,550
? ?
78
00:03:13,585 --> 00:03:14,751
Whoop!
79
00:03:14,786 --> 00:03:16,226
- I'm sorry to bug you.
- Not at all.
80
00:03:16,227 --> 00:03:18,588
Just got to see how my businessman dad
81
00:03:18,623 --> 00:03:20,757
makes his sausage.
82
00:03:20,792 --> 00:03:22,492
What you got there... a tape recorder?
83
00:03:22,527 --> 00:03:24,995
Yes. Used this back in
the day to brainstorm.
84
00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:26,796
Thought I'd conjure up
some of the old magic.
85
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,965
Instead of selling
somebody else's product,
86
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,767
I'm developing one of my own this time.
87
00:03:30,802 --> 00:03:32,302
Much more lucrative!
88
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,470
- Impressive.
- Yeah.
89
00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:38,708
And, honestly, I think I'm
onto some pretty big ideas.
90
00:03:38,743 --> 00:03:40,944
And, uh, I could use a break.
91
00:03:40,979 --> 00:03:42,679
I'm gonna go for a walk.
92
00:03:49,421 --> 00:03:50,753
STEW: Big idea. Big idea.
93
00:03:50,789 --> 00:03:52,522
Come on, Stewie. Get a big idea.
94
00:03:52,557 --> 00:03:54,991
- [FAST-FORWARDS]
- Stewie, get a big idea!
95
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,026
Big idea! Big idea!
96
00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:58,962
Big idea!
97
00:03:58,997 --> 00:04:01,317
Big idea, big idea, big idea,
big idea, big idea, big idea,
98
00:04:01,318 --> 00:04:02,632
big idea, big idea, big idea!
99
00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:04,033
Stewie, big idea!
100
00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,268
Hey.
101
00:04:05,303 --> 00:04:08,004
Those are private big ideas.
102
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,807
Seems like you're just
saying, "Big ideas".
103
00:04:10,842 --> 00:04:12,976
No. If you go further back, I also say,
104
00:04:13,011 --> 00:04:14,344
"Little ideas" a bunch.
105
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:17,313
That's what gave me the
idea to do "Big ideas".
106
00:04:17,349 --> 00:04:20,750
Dad, this is concerning.
107
00:04:20,785 --> 00:04:25,188
Things haven't been going
as well as I've made it seem.
108
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:28,057
See, I really want to turn
things around for your mom.
109
00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:29,792
[SIGHS]
110
00:04:29,828 --> 00:04:34,597
I just have not been able to
come up with a, well, big idea.
111
00:04:34,633 --> 00:04:37,133
You're just putting too
much pressure on yourself.
112
00:04:37,168 --> 00:04:38,935
Maybe if you just talk to Mom, then...
113
00:04:38,970 --> 00:04:40,203
No. No, no, no, no.
114
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,472
She can't know how much I'm struggling.
115
00:04:42,507 --> 00:04:43,840
I'm her rock.
116
00:04:43,875 --> 00:04:45,708
Well, at least let me help you.
117
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,911
We could brainstorm together!
118
00:04:47,946 --> 00:04:49,679
Okay. Yeah!
119
00:04:49,714 --> 00:04:51,114
Let's see if you got my DNA in you.
120
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,549
- Yes!
- Yay!
121
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:55,084
Here's how I like to
get the ball rolling.
122
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,419
Little idea.
123
00:04:56,454 --> 00:04:58,454
Little idea. Little idea.
124
00:04:59,357 --> 00:05:00,590
Let's try another way.
125
00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:06,329
? ?
126
00:05:06,364 --> 00:05:08,932
Look, I'm just saying
if our therapist says
127
00:05:08,967 --> 00:05:10,733
that I need to agree to hear you more,
128
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:15,405
then shouldn't you agree to hear
me on what I'd like in return?
129
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,741
Okay, not every agreement means
getting something in exchange.
130
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,337
Yeah, but getting something in exchange
131
00:05:20,338 --> 00:05:22,712
is my favorite part of agreeing.
132
00:05:22,747 --> 00:05:26,316
See, this is why Marcia
calls you "Mr. Tit for Tat".
133
00:05:27,018 --> 00:05:30,119
So, kids, what do you think?
134
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:32,989
You look very nice, Mom,
135
00:05:33,024 --> 00:05:35,458
but a midday wardrobe
change is never good.
136
00:05:35,493 --> 00:05:39,362
Hello. I'm a licensed life coach.
137
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,965
She used to be a guidance counselor.
138
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,200
Yeah, Rebecca. She was
my guidance counselor.
139
00:05:44,235 --> 00:05:46,035
And she advised me to drop out of school
140
00:05:46,071 --> 00:05:48,905
to become a male model.
141
00:05:48,940 --> 00:05:50,707
It's not too late.
142
00:05:50,742 --> 00:05:52,008
Yeah, maybe for print.
143
00:05:52,043 --> 00:05:53,676
Look, I just started to think
144
00:05:53,712 --> 00:05:55,993
you're paying all this money
for Marcia to give you advice
145
00:05:56,014 --> 00:05:59,182
when everybody knows I'm
the best advice-giver there is.
146
00:05:59,217 --> 00:06:02,585
So I took a 90-minute
webinar, and... presto...
147
00:06:02,621 --> 00:06:04,954
I'm open for business.
148
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,155
Wow.
149
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:07,991
Deb, I got to say, I am impressed.
150
00:06:08,026 --> 00:06:10,059
[CHUCKLING] Well, thank you!
151
00:06:10,095 --> 00:06:12,929
Now I just need to start
building up my clientele.
152
00:06:12,964 --> 00:06:15,698
And I was thinking of
starting with... boop...
153
00:06:15,734 --> 00:06:18,401
you.
154
00:06:18,436 --> 00:06:20,837
Boop! No way.
155
00:06:20,872 --> 00:06:22,338
Come on, David.
156
00:06:22,374 --> 00:06:24,407
This is important to me.
157
00:06:24,442 --> 00:06:27,310
I don't want Daddy's
big, strong shoulders
158
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:29,512
to have to bear the
weight of everything.
159
00:06:29,547 --> 00:06:30,847
You're right.
160
00:06:30,882 --> 00:06:33,182
I think you coaching
Dave is a great idea.
161
00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:35,385
I'm sorry. Are you
saying you see a world
162
00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:37,587
where this woman is not enough involved
163
00:06:37,622 --> 00:06:39,389
in our day-to-day?
164
00:06:39,424 --> 00:06:42,258
Lots of new businesses start
out with family members
165
00:06:42,293 --> 00:06:44,160
as clients or customers.
166
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:46,229
She's right, and then you can write me
167
00:06:46,264 --> 00:06:48,631
a testimonial onto my website,
168
00:06:48,667 --> 00:06:51,934
right after you build me my website.
169
00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:53,002
He's in!
170
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,203
Oh, thank you!
171
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:55,371
Thank you, David!
172
00:06:55,407 --> 00:06:58,341
Now I'm gonna set up a photo
shoot for my "about me" page.
173
00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:01,010
Guess what... it's all about me!
174
00:07:03,314 --> 00:07:04,914
What is happening?! [CHUCKLES]
175
00:07:08,215 --> 00:07:10,215
? ?
176
00:07:10,616 --> 00:07:14,886
So, my life coaching takes
on a unique approach.
177
00:07:14,922 --> 00:07:16,655
I believe that every man and woman
178
00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:18,657
has an inner king and queen,
179
00:07:18,692 --> 00:07:23,228
and I would like you to
embrace your inner king.
180
00:07:23,263 --> 00:07:25,330
So, I'm a king?
181
00:07:25,365 --> 00:07:31,236
What areas of your life
would you say are not kingly?
182
00:07:31,271 --> 00:07:32,871
I guess if I had to
search for something,
183
00:07:32,873 --> 00:07:34,513
I would say that there's
this one property
184
00:07:34,514 --> 00:07:35,941
at work that I really love,
185
00:07:35,976 --> 00:07:37,809
but the owner hasn't
hit me back on my offer.
186
00:07:37,844 --> 00:07:40,111
And it's frustrating because
I know I can make it
187
00:07:40,147 --> 00:07:43,748
a great flip if I just got my
little paws on it, you know?
188
00:07:43,784 --> 00:07:45,750
What are you waiting for? Call him up.
189
00:07:45,786 --> 00:07:47,252
Tell him you're ready to move on.
190
00:07:47,287 --> 00:07:49,087
Show him who's king.
191
00:07:49,122 --> 00:07:51,790
[CHUCKLES] In the real world,
it doesn't work like that.
192
00:07:51,825 --> 00:07:55,860
So, is not acting like a
king working out for you?
193
00:07:58,298 --> 00:08:00,098
No.
194
00:08:00,133 --> 00:08:01,199
Well, then be a king.
195
00:08:01,234 --> 00:08:02,801
Get your castle.
196
00:08:02,836 --> 00:08:04,202
Maybe you're right, you know?
197
00:08:04,237 --> 00:08:06,171
Maybe I do need my castle.
198
00:08:06,206 --> 00:08:07,706
Of course!
199
00:08:07,741 --> 00:08:09,374
Call him up right now.
200
00:08:10,978 --> 00:08:12,978
Hi. This is, uh, David Klein.
201
00:08:13,013 --> 00:08:15,180
I'm calling about the
property on Riverside,
202
00:08:15,215 --> 00:08:19,684
and I know you said you had
to think about it, but I don't.
203
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,820
I want it, and I want it now.
204
00:08:21,855 --> 00:08:23,021
[WHISPERS] Tell him why.
205
00:08:23,056 --> 00:08:24,856
Because my mom says I'm a king.
206
00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:30,161
? ?
207
00:08:30,197 --> 00:08:31,796
Okay, okay. What about a robot...
208
00:08:31,832 --> 00:08:33,072
- Uh-huh?
- ...which you control
209
00:08:33,073 --> 00:08:34,733
with just the push of your hand, okay?
210
00:08:34,768 --> 00:08:36,968
And this robot eats dirt!
211
00:08:37,004 --> 00:08:38,124
Pretty sure that's a vacuum.
212
00:08:38,125 --> 00:08:39,204
Ugh!
213
00:08:39,239 --> 00:08:40,405
What if the robot eats lint?
214
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:41,806
- Also a vacuum.
- Crumbs?
215
00:08:41,842 --> 00:08:42,907
Still a vacuum.
216
00:08:42,943 --> 00:08:45,176
Ugh!
217
00:08:45,212 --> 00:08:47,245
Dad, you remember the
year you missed out
218
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,880
on the singing bass account
219
00:08:48,915 --> 00:08:51,049
and you had to sell the
crying shark instead?
220
00:08:51,084 --> 00:08:52,917
Of course. It was a tough year.
221
00:08:52,953 --> 00:08:54,919
Mom was so supportive of you back then.
222
00:08:54,955 --> 00:08:56,521
I-I really think you should call her.
223
00:08:56,556 --> 00:08:57,856
But this is different.
224
00:08:57,891 --> 00:08:59,251
I don't want your mother to worry.
225
00:08:59,252 --> 00:09:01,059
I can do this on my own.
226
00:09:01,094 --> 00:09:03,028
Hi. What can I do for you?
227
00:09:03,063 --> 00:09:05,930
Oh! This sweater is adorable!
228
00:09:05,966 --> 00:09:09,834
Do you have it in size
beagle and size me?
229
00:09:09,870 --> 00:09:12,037
Well, we only sell dog clothes,
230
00:09:12,072 --> 00:09:14,939
but it is your lucky day,
because I have one left.
231
00:09:14,975 --> 00:09:18,076
These things are selling like crazy!
232
00:09:18,111 --> 00:09:19,277
STEW: Hold on.
233
00:09:19,312 --> 00:09:20,912
You're buying that sweater for your dog?
234
00:09:20,947 --> 00:09:23,448
- It costs $75.
- I know.
235
00:09:23,483 --> 00:09:25,050
What a bargain!
236
00:09:25,085 --> 00:09:27,385
Even though dogs have natural sweaters
237
00:09:27,421 --> 00:09:30,388
called "fur" which is free?
238
00:09:30,424 --> 00:09:32,424
Ralph is my everything.
239
00:09:34,428 --> 00:09:37,262
I'll take this and the fireman's hat.
240
00:09:37,297 --> 00:09:39,097
- 1,000% markup.
- Dad!
241
00:09:39,132 --> 00:09:41,032
Which is worth every penny, yeah.
242
00:09:41,068 --> 00:09:42,801
Thank you for shopping.
243
00:09:49,309 --> 00:09:51,109
- Dad!
- What?
244
00:09:51,144 --> 00:09:53,078
You almost blew that sale!
245
00:09:53,113 --> 00:09:54,879
I'm sorry. It's... I could not believe
246
00:09:54,915 --> 00:09:57,782
she was willing to spend so much money.
247
00:09:57,818 --> 00:09:59,250
That's it.
248
00:09:59,286 --> 00:10:02,987
I'm going to invent a pet product.
249
00:10:03,023 --> 00:10:06,157
This is the big idea
I've been looking for!
250
00:10:06,193 --> 00:10:07,258
Great!
251
00:10:07,294 --> 00:10:09,427
I believe in you! Wait.
252
00:10:09,463 --> 00:10:11,663
It's not a device that picks
up pet hair, though, right?
253
00:10:11,664 --> 00:10:14,299
- 'Cause that's a vacuum.
- Okay.
254
00:10:14,334 --> 00:10:17,802
You really get to get off
this "vacuum" thing, Joanna.
255
00:10:17,838 --> 00:10:19,904
You're obsessed!
256
00:10:19,940 --> 00:10:20,972
Wha...
257
00:10:21,007 --> 00:10:26,845
? ?
258
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,613
'Sup, babe?
259
00:10:28,648 --> 00:10:29,914
How'd it go?
260
00:10:29,950 --> 00:10:31,449
Actually, it went amazing.
261
00:10:31,485 --> 00:10:32,517
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
262
00:10:32,552 --> 00:10:34,119
Coach Deb told me to put some pressure
263
00:10:34,154 --> 00:10:36,354
on that guy that's holding
the property that I wanted...
264
00:10:36,355 --> 00:10:37,755
- you know, the one to flip?
- Yeah.
265
00:10:37,756 --> 00:10:39,991
And guess what. Boom... offer accepted.
266
00:10:40,026 --> 00:10:42,026
The one on Riverside? That is amazing!
267
00:10:42,062 --> 00:10:43,128
I know.
268
00:10:43,163 --> 00:10:45,330
I mean, it kind of feels like
things are going so good,
269
00:10:45,365 --> 00:10:47,932
I don't really need therapy anymore.
270
00:10:47,968 --> 00:10:49,467
Wait. What?
271
00:10:49,503 --> 00:10:51,469
I don't want it to conflict
with all the progress
272
00:10:51,505 --> 00:10:53,037
I'm making with my life coach.
273
00:10:53,073 --> 00:10:54,238
You mean your mom?
274
00:10:54,274 --> 00:10:56,941
Coach Deb, yes.
275
00:10:56,977 --> 00:10:59,310
Look, I know I encouraged
you to talk with your mom,
276
00:10:59,346 --> 00:11:02,046
but it seems like you're using
this to get out of therapy.
277
00:11:02,082 --> 00:11:04,182
I honestly am, very much so.
278
00:11:04,217 --> 00:11:06,050
I-I just...
279
00:11:06,086 --> 00:11:07,606
Therapist Marcia never agrees with me,
280
00:11:07,607 --> 00:11:09,053
and Coach Deb always agrees with me.
281
00:11:09,089 --> 00:11:10,321
I mean, she said I was a king,
282
00:11:10,357 --> 00:11:12,657
and that is logic that is airtight.
283
00:11:12,692 --> 00:11:13,992
Oh, wow.
284
00:11:14,027 --> 00:11:15,427
So, you don't want to go to therapy
285
00:11:15,428 --> 00:11:19,230
because your mom calls you a
king and that's all you need?
286
00:11:19,266 --> 00:11:20,965
Basically, pretty much. Yes, exactly.
287
00:11:21,001 --> 00:11:22,400
- Uh-huh.
- Ooh.
288
00:11:22,435 --> 00:11:24,002
Wow. Okay.
289
00:11:24,037 --> 00:11:26,404
Well, Dave, we need to
talk about this and...
290
00:11:26,439 --> 00:11:28,506
No. Mnh-mnh.
291
00:11:28,542 --> 00:11:30,508
Coach Deb said you would say that,
292
00:11:30,544 --> 00:11:34,312
and she said it's time for
me to make a royal decree!
293
00:11:35,415 --> 00:11:38,650
So please cancel therapy tomorrow.
294
00:11:38,685 --> 00:11:40,518
No!
295
00:11:40,554 --> 00:11:41,554
Are you drunk?
296
00:11:41,588 --> 00:11:43,254
I am trashed.
297
00:11:47,848 --> 00:11:49,715
? ?
298
00:11:49,950 --> 00:11:52,217
Deb, I know you want to
do your part to help you
299
00:11:52,252 --> 00:11:54,819
and Stew get back on track financially,
300
00:11:54,855 --> 00:11:56,354
which is why I stood up for you
301
00:11:56,389 --> 00:11:58,690
and supported your new career path.
302
00:11:58,725 --> 00:12:01,092
But it bit me in the ass!
303
00:12:01,127 --> 00:12:02,727
How so?
304
00:12:02,762 --> 00:12:06,064
- Sake?
- Uh, I guess.
305
00:12:06,099 --> 00:12:08,032
Well, it's just that since
you started coaching
306
00:12:08,068 --> 00:12:10,335
Dave, he won't go to therapy with me.
307
00:12:10,370 --> 00:12:12,003
Mm.
308
00:12:12,038 --> 00:12:15,006
That is a conundrum, because,
you know, as a life coach,
309
00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:18,076
therapists are my sworn enemy.
310
00:12:18,111 --> 00:12:19,777
However, it does sound
like it's something
311
00:12:19,813 --> 00:12:21,379
you really want him to do.
312
00:12:21,414 --> 00:12:22,847
Yeah. I do.
313
00:12:22,883 --> 00:12:24,443
Well, have you told him he better do it
314
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:27,619
if he knows what's good for him?
315
00:12:27,654 --> 00:12:29,287
What?
316
00:12:29,322 --> 00:12:30,755
You're a queen!
317
00:12:30,790 --> 00:12:32,090
Queens don't ask!
318
00:12:32,125 --> 00:12:34,926
They tell!
319
00:12:34,961 --> 00:12:36,294
Yeah.
320
00:12:36,329 --> 00:12:38,129
I mean, I am kind of regal.
321
00:12:38,164 --> 00:12:39,931
Exactly!
322
00:12:39,966 --> 00:12:42,767
You deserve to rule your castle!
323
00:12:42,802 --> 00:12:44,102
Yeah. Cheers.
324
00:12:44,137 --> 00:12:46,404
[CHUCKLES]
325
00:12:46,439 --> 00:12:48,106
- Ahhh.
- Ahhh.
326
00:12:48,141 --> 00:12:49,274
It's 11:00 a.m.
327
00:12:49,309 --> 00:12:51,276
[LAUGHS]
328
00:12:51,311 --> 00:12:52,377
More?
329
00:12:52,412 --> 00:12:55,280
? ?
330
00:12:55,315 --> 00:12:59,984
Say, what's the worst
part about walking dogs?
331
00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,786
Um, picking up poop?
332
00:13:01,821 --> 00:13:02,987
No. Gross.
333
00:13:03,023 --> 00:13:05,123
Leave it on the ground.
334
00:13:05,158 --> 00:13:07,792
The worst part is holding the leash.
335
00:13:07,827 --> 00:13:09,961
But you don't have to with...
336
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:13,898
the belt leash!
337
00:13:13,934 --> 00:13:15,300
Hey, hey, hey!
338
00:13:15,335 --> 00:13:16,734
- Okay, Dad.
- Yeah.
339
00:13:16,770 --> 00:13:18,169
I already sell a belt leash.
340
00:13:18,204 --> 00:13:19,438
It's right there.
341
00:13:19,473 --> 00:13:21,573
It's the thing you grabbed
when you ran to the back,
342
00:13:21,574 --> 00:13:22,941
yelling, "I have an idea!"
343
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:25,143
Yes, yes, but that's just for one dog.
344
00:13:25,178 --> 00:13:27,679
This is for 10 dogs!
345
00:13:27,714 --> 00:13:30,248
Who needs that?
346
00:13:30,283 --> 00:13:32,116
Dogwalkers.
347
00:13:32,152 --> 00:13:36,921
Lost souls whose lives
have gone sideways.
348
00:13:36,957 --> 00:13:39,324
The perfect customer.
349
00:13:39,359 --> 00:13:42,093
Now I'm gonna take this
leash out for a little test run,
350
00:13:42,128 --> 00:13:44,963
so why don't you go
grab some lucky puppies
351
00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:47,332
and tell 'em they're
about to make history?
352
00:13:47,367 --> 00:13:49,033
Look, it's great that
you're all fired up,
353
00:13:49,069 --> 00:13:51,302
but I don't think this is gonna work.
354
00:13:51,338 --> 00:13:53,705
Really?
355
00:13:53,740 --> 00:13:56,341
So...
356
00:13:56,376 --> 00:13:58,943
you're the dog expert now?
357
00:13:58,979 --> 00:14:00,345
Um...
358
00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:02,146
yeah.
359
00:14:04,150 --> 00:14:07,051
Well, I've been a businessman
for four decades,
360
00:14:07,087 --> 00:14:10,188
and that's 280 dog years,
361
00:14:10,223 --> 00:14:12,490
so I think I know what
I'm talking about.
362
00:14:12,525 --> 00:14:14,726
Dad, do you remember when Mom convinced
363
00:14:14,761 --> 00:14:16,861
you not to sell that
superweighted blanket
364
00:14:16,896 --> 00:14:19,897
because it was making it hard
for some people to breathe?
365
00:14:19,933 --> 00:14:22,867
This situation feels
very similar to that.
366
00:14:22,902 --> 00:14:24,969
Maybe just call her.
367
00:14:25,005 --> 00:14:27,905
I will call her after my
first successful test run.
368
00:14:27,941 --> 00:14:30,408
Now do me a favor and help
me strap on some pups.
369
00:14:30,443 --> 00:14:34,178
Dad, I love you, but I cannot
lend my customers' dogs
370
00:14:34,214 --> 00:14:36,147
to be walked with an untested invention
371
00:14:36,182 --> 00:14:39,817
that, frankly, looks like the
harness of a sex swing.
372
00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:41,660
Fine. You're not gonna help me?
373
00:14:41,661 --> 00:14:44,822
I'm gonna go find some strays.
374
00:14:44,858 --> 00:14:46,618
And, clearly, you've
never taken a love ride,
375
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:50,228
because a sex swing
looks nothing like this.
376
00:14:50,263 --> 00:14:51,863
Ew!
377
00:14:51,898 --> 00:14:56,567
? ?
378
00:14:56,603 --> 00:14:58,102
Get off the phone!
379
00:14:58,138 --> 00:15:00,672
I need to call you back.
380
00:15:00,707 --> 00:15:01,773
Listen up.
381
00:15:01,808 --> 00:15:03,007
You're going to therapy.
382
00:15:03,043 --> 00:15:04,208
No, you listen up.
383
00:15:04,244 --> 00:15:05,877
I'mma do whatever the hell I want to do.
384
00:15:05,912 --> 00:15:07,945
Nuh-unh. This is my castle now.
385
00:15:07,981 --> 00:15:09,347
- I'm the queen!
- Yuh-huh.
386
00:15:09,382 --> 00:15:11,249
This is still my castle. I'm the king.
387
00:15:11,284 --> 00:15:12,917
Well, I decree you're dethroned!
388
00:15:12,952 --> 00:15:14,085
Well, I refuse to abdicate.
389
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,353
You will bend the knee!
390
00:15:15,388 --> 00:15:16,587
I can't bend the knee!
391
00:15:16,623 --> 00:15:18,389
I hurt it buckling in my seat belt.
392
00:15:18,425 --> 00:15:21,259
You know this.
393
00:15:21,294 --> 00:15:23,027
Why are we yelling at each other?
394
00:15:23,063 --> 00:15:25,863
I had a lot of sake.
I can't feel my lips.
395
00:15:27,934 --> 00:15:29,267
A lot of sake, you say?
396
00:15:29,302 --> 00:15:31,035
Yeah.
397
00:15:31,071 --> 00:15:33,971
So, my mom's been coaching you?
398
00:15:34,007 --> 00:15:37,308
- She told me I was a queen.
- Ohh.
399
00:15:37,343 --> 00:15:39,310
I'm starting to think that
maybe my broke mom
400
00:15:39,345 --> 00:15:41,245
who took an online course
from my guest room
401
00:15:41,281 --> 00:15:43,448
is not the best person
to give us life advice.
402
00:15:43,483 --> 00:15:44,549
Right.
403
00:15:44,584 --> 00:15:46,117
And as I'm saying it out loud,
404
00:15:46,152 --> 00:15:48,119
I am shocked that it
was able to get this far.
405
00:15:48,154 --> 00:15:50,455
Yeah.
406
00:15:50,490 --> 00:15:52,156
But I did mean what I said.
407
00:15:52,192 --> 00:15:54,158
I think we should go back to Marcia.
408
00:15:54,194 --> 00:15:55,927
Yeah. You're right.
409
00:15:55,962 --> 00:15:57,962
My mom is really gonna be
upset about this, though.
410
00:15:57,997 --> 00:15:59,097
Yeah.
411
00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:00,598
This really meant a lot to her.
412
00:16:00,633 --> 00:16:03,468
[CELLPHONE PLAYS FANFARE]
413
00:16:03,503 --> 00:16:07,405
I went with a new ring, but
I'm not totally sold on it yet.
414
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,108
Me, neither.
415
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:11,409
- Hello?
- Hey.
416
00:16:11,444 --> 00:16:13,177
I think you need to get Mom down here.
417
00:16:13,213 --> 00:16:14,612
I'm worried about Dad.
418
00:16:14,647 --> 00:16:16,280
He's struggling.
419
00:16:16,316 --> 00:16:18,149
Well, that's great news.
420
00:16:18,184 --> 00:16:19,617
My dad is really struggling!
421
00:16:19,652 --> 00:16:21,119
My mom can help him.
422
00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:23,020
This is perfect!
423
00:16:23,056 --> 00:16:24,355
- How bad is it?
- Okay.
424
00:16:24,390 --> 00:16:25,990
I think we're having a miscommunication.
425
00:16:25,992 --> 00:16:29,160
Are you drunk on Mom's sake?
426
00:16:29,195 --> 00:16:31,195
Coach Deb has a new client!
427
00:16:31,231 --> 00:16:32,363
Yes!
428
00:16:35,793 --> 00:16:37,593
? ?
429
00:16:37,595 --> 00:16:38,662
Listen!
430
00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:41,331
What do I always tell you?
431
00:16:41,366 --> 00:16:43,066
Uh-huh.
432
00:16:43,101 --> 00:16:44,701
That's right.
433
00:16:44,736 --> 00:16:45,802
You are the king.
434
00:16:45,837 --> 00:16:48,304
Don't let anyone push you around.
435
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:51,708
Well, I'm the queen.
I'll tell him for you.
436
00:16:51,743 --> 00:16:52,976
Hi.
437
00:16:53,011 --> 00:16:55,412
Um, Ravi does not want
to work this weekend.
438
00:16:55,447 --> 00:16:57,714
That's not gonna work for me.
439
00:16:57,749 --> 00:17:00,083
Well, then just tell him
he's got to show up.
440
00:17:00,118 --> 00:17:02,419
You are the king!
441
00:17:02,454 --> 00:17:04,754
Mom, you can't keep giving
the same advice to everybody.
442
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:07,223
Why not? It's gold.
443
00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:09,859
Listen, Mom, have you
spoken to Dad recently?
444
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:11,975
Joanna told me he may be
having a harder time at work
445
00:17:11,976 --> 00:17:13,730
than he's letting on.
446
00:17:13,765 --> 00:17:17,267
Oh. Well, he would tell me
if he was having a problem.
447
00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:19,269
Maybe just give him a call and check in?
448
00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:21,938
Yeah, okay.
449
00:17:21,973 --> 00:17:24,040
Now you're getting me all worried.
450
00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:28,411
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
451
00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:29,779
Hey, yo!
452
00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:31,414
It's a new leash on life with Stew!
453
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:33,450
Hi, sweetie! It's me.
454
00:17:33,485 --> 00:17:36,186
I just wanted to see if
everything was going okay.
455
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,687
Oh, yeah. Everything's going great.
456
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,563
You know what? I think
I've found the invention
457
00:17:39,564 --> 00:17:40,697
that's gonna get us to Boca!
458
00:17:40,733 --> 00:17:43,259
Oh, that's my guy. Mwah, mwah, mwah!
459
00:17:43,295 --> 00:17:44,895
I really got to go. Something's come up.
460
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:47,797
Aah! Aah! Get off me!
461
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:51,234
Dog fail. Bad idea! Bad idea! Bad idea!
462
00:17:51,269 --> 00:17:52,902
Bad idea!
463
00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:54,138
Something's wrong with Stewie!
464
00:17:54,172 --> 00:17:56,773
I can hear it in his voice!
465
00:17:56,808 --> 00:17:58,274
Oh, I feel terrible.
466
00:17:58,310 --> 00:18:01,711
I've been so distracted
coaching everyone's lives,
467
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,947
I've neglected the love of my life.
468
00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:05,982
I got to go see Daddy.
469
00:18:06,017 --> 00:18:11,387
? ?
470
00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:15,825
You're right.
471
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:19,095
The amazing belt leash was a failure.
472
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:21,331
I haven't seen that much
lipstick since your mother
473
00:18:21,366 --> 00:18:23,299
worked the cosmetic
counter at Bloomie's.
474
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:24,901
Ohh!
475
00:18:27,105 --> 00:18:29,806
Oh, God. I'm sorry, Dad.
476
00:18:29,841 --> 00:18:31,161
Here. You're covered in dog hair.
477
00:18:31,162 --> 00:18:32,942
Let's get that off you.
478
00:18:32,978 --> 00:18:36,112
You know what the worst part was?
479
00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:40,083
The laughter from the other dogwalkers.
480
00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:43,486
They're not good people, Jo.
481
00:18:43,522 --> 00:18:44,954
I'm really sorry.
482
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:46,430
You went out of your way to help me,
483
00:18:46,431 --> 00:18:48,424
and I just acted like a jerk.
484
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:51,961
You did, absolutely, and you nailed it.
485
00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:53,963
I feel so bad, you know?
486
00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:56,466
I just wanted to fix
things for your mom.
487
00:18:56,501 --> 00:18:58,301
Now what am I gonna do?
488
00:18:58,336 --> 00:19:01,271
Well, maybe you should start
by talking to her right now,
489
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:04,107
because she's here.
490
00:19:04,142 --> 00:19:06,209
Dave and I thought you two should talk.
491
00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:14,450
Stewie.
492
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:17,954
Why didn't you tell me you
were having trouble with work?
493
00:19:17,989 --> 00:19:20,123
I didn't want to worry you,
and you already got enough
494
00:19:20,158 --> 00:19:22,892
to worry about with our...
our friends moving on,
495
00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:27,197
and I-I felt bad that we weren't
because of my mistakes.
496
00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:30,033
Honey, we made the mistakes together,
497
00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:32,902
and we're gonna fix 'em together.
498
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:35,238
I just want to give you everything.
499
00:19:35,273 --> 00:19:38,875
But, Stewie, you're my everything...
500
00:19:38,910 --> 00:19:40,143
my king.
501
00:19:40,178 --> 00:19:42,145
- Mm, your king, huh?
- Yeah.
502
00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:44,347
I bet you say that to all the boys.
503
00:19:44,382 --> 00:19:46,249
I do.
504
00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:52,422
- You feel better?
- Yeah.
505
00:19:52,457 --> 00:19:55,024
Hey, uh, thanks for getting
your mom over here
506
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:57,527
and for everything else.
507
00:19:57,562 --> 00:19:58,562
Oh, Dad.
508
00:19:58,597 --> 00:20:01,431
You still smell like dogs.
509
00:20:01,466 --> 00:20:03,199
Such a queen!
510
00:20:05,136 --> 00:20:09,906
And you... I want you to walk
around all day every day
511
00:20:09,941 --> 00:20:11,574
like you got a crown on your head!
512
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,843
Ah. Oh.
513
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,178
That's it.
514
00:20:15,213 --> 00:20:17,180
Dog crowns.
515
00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:19,282
That's what I should be selling...
516
00:20:19,317 --> 00:20:21,417
dog crowns, huh?!
517
00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:23,019
Look!
518
00:20:23,054 --> 00:20:25,555
Dog people will pay 20 bucks
for something like that.
519
00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:30,560
Who knows how much they're
gonna shell out for a terrier tiara?
520
00:20:30,595 --> 00:20:33,062
My king is back, baby!
521
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:34,430
We're the best!
522
00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:35,466
[LAUGHS]
523
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,134
? ?
524
00:20:38,169 --> 00:20:41,471
Well, Joanna, I'm so glad
that you came to your senses
525
00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:44,307
and decided to have me as a life coach.
526
00:20:44,342 --> 00:20:47,043
You're gonna have to write a
review if you want the discount.
527
00:20:47,078 --> 00:20:48,211
Yeah, I don't know.
528
00:20:48,246 --> 00:20:51,414
Getting coached by my mom
doesn't sound like a great idea.
529
00:20:51,449 --> 00:20:53,316
Honey, I just want to open you up
530
00:20:53,351 --> 00:20:56,319
to the infinite possibilities
that is your life.
531
00:20:56,354 --> 00:20:59,656
Whatever your goals, I support you.
532
00:20:59,691 --> 00:21:01,624
Wow! Okay.
533
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:03,326
So, I was thinking I kind of want
534
00:21:03,361 --> 00:21:04,894
to franchise Pup Cuts and...
535
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:08,131
Oy, enough with the dogs already.
536
00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:09,933
When are you gonna get a wife?
537
00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:12,669
You're not getting any younger,
girl, and neither am I.
538
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,340
Thanks for the pep talk?
539
00:21:17,375 --> 00:21:20,242
540
00:21:20,292 --> 00:21:24,842
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