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1
00:49:09,252 --> 00:49:12,285
And some stuff
that just won't go away.
2
00:49:12,377 --> 00:49:15,410
And some stuff
that you couldn't ignore
3
00:49:15,502 --> 00:49:16,995
even if you wanted to.
4
00:49:18,794 --> 00:49:20,286
[Phone rings]
5
00:49:26,460 --> 00:49:27,455
Hello.
6
00:49:27,544 --> 00:49:29,001
[Paul] 'lt's me.'
7
00:49:29,085 --> 00:49:31,076
Do you know what time it is?
8
00:49:31,169 --> 00:49:32,626
'Yeah, and l'm sorry.'
9
00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:36,418
Listen, are you pregnant?
10
00:50:30,460 --> 00:50:31,918
Are these for me?
11
00:50:34,627 --> 00:50:35,575
Yeah.
12
00:50:38,252 --> 00:50:39,200
Flowers.
13
00:50:39,294 --> 00:50:41,119
l suppose they were,
14
00:50:41,210 --> 00:50:42,703
once upon a time.
15
00:50:42,794 --> 00:50:43,742
Thank you.
16
00:50:46,710 --> 00:50:48,168
Come on, Jo.
17
00:50:53,460 --> 00:50:54,455
Oh.
18
00:50:57,544 --> 00:50:58,953
And chocolates!
19
00:51:04,877 --> 00:51:05,669
lt's come just at
the right time for me.
20
00:51:05,669 --> 00:51:07,908
lt's come just at
the right time for me.
21
00:51:08,002 --> 00:51:11,581
l was gettin' bored with
that pub and football stuff.
22
00:51:11,669 --> 00:51:13,659
You can only spend so much time
23
00:51:13,752 --> 00:51:15,079
playing Subbuteo.
24
00:51:15,169 --> 00:51:17,373
Having a kid's a brilliant idea.
25
00:51:17,460 --> 00:51:19,451
lt wasn't really an idea.
26
00:51:19,544 --> 00:51:21,534
lt might as well have been.
27
00:51:21,627 --> 00:51:22,871
lt's perfect.
28
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:24,750
lt's not just the baby.
29
00:51:24,835 --> 00:51:27,205
lt's, you know,
it's you as well.
30
00:51:27,294 --> 00:51:29,284
l think we're good together.
31
00:51:29,377 --> 00:51:31,782
l thought l was
Miss Jean Brodie.
32
00:51:31,877 --> 00:51:34,910
l was wrong.
l've been thinking about this.
33
00:51:36,044 --> 00:51:37,536
You're George Graham.
34
00:51:38,919 --> 00:51:40,411
The Arsenal manager.
35
00:51:40,502 --> 00:51:42,493
And that's good, is it?
36
00:51:42,585 --> 00:51:43,533
lt's brilliant.
37
00:51:43,627 --> 00:51:45,120
You're careful and organised
38
00:51:45,210 --> 00:51:46,833
and methodical and all that.
39
00:51:46,919 --> 00:51:48,411
That's why we work.
40
00:51:48,502 --> 00:51:50,244
l need somebody like that.
41
00:51:50,335 --> 00:51:52,326
And you need somebody
like me....
42
00:51:52,419 --> 00:51:53,876
Work well as a team.
43
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:55,750
Not even as a team, as a club.
44
00:51:55,835 --> 00:51:58,786
Paul, you do talk
some terrible nonsense.
45
00:51:58,877 --> 00:52:00,370
lt's not. lt's the truth.
46
00:52:00,460 --> 00:52:01,918
lt's all working out.
47
00:52:02,002 --> 00:52:03,874
Wife and baby, that'll do me.
48
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:06,366
Who said anything about a wife?
49
00:52:06,460 --> 00:52:09,494
We'd want to do it
properly, wouldn't we?
50
00:52:09,585 --> 00:52:11,078
Liam? lf it's a boy.
51
00:52:11,169 --> 00:52:13,492
The greatest Arsenal player ever
52
00:52:13,585 --> 00:52:15,078
but it's a nice name.
53
00:52:15,169 --> 00:52:16,910
Better apply for the job.
54
00:52:17,002 --> 00:52:18,080
What job?
55
00:52:18,169 --> 00:52:20,657
Rosie's Head of Year
job. l said no -
56
00:52:20,752 --> 00:52:22,956
but now, brilliant.
Perfect timing.
57
00:52:23,044 --> 00:52:25,034
We'll need a bit more money
58
00:52:25,127 --> 00:52:26,917
'cause we'll need a house.
59
00:52:27,002 --> 00:52:28,993
- Paul...
- Ted'll be pleased, anyway.
60
00:52:29,085 --> 00:52:30,578
- Liam, brilliant.
- Paul...
61
00:52:30,669 --> 00:52:32,375
We could live near the ground.
62
00:52:32,460 --> 00:52:35,992
lt's cheap 'cause no-one
wants a football stadium
63
00:52:36,085 --> 00:52:38,076
on their doorstep.
l'd pay extra
64
00:52:38,169 --> 00:52:40,159
but we won't tell
the estate agent.
65
00:52:40,252 --> 00:52:41,709
Mortgage, wife, kid - cool.
66
00:52:41,794 --> 00:52:43,784
Paul, none of this is real.
67
00:52:43,877 --> 00:52:46,366
You're behaving
like a little kid.
68
00:52:46,460 --> 00:52:49,494
l've been impregnated
by a 1 2-year-old!
69
00:52:57,502 --> 00:52:58,663
Oh, thanks.
70
00:52:58,752 --> 00:53:00,245
Thanks very much.
71
00:53:00,335 --> 00:53:01,793
Sorry about that.
72
00:53:01,877 --> 00:53:03,334
No problem, sir.
73
00:53:04,835 --> 00:53:06,328
Sorry, you were saying?
74
00:53:06,419 --> 00:53:09,333
Paul, this is exactly
what l mean.
75
00:53:09,419 --> 00:53:12,333
That was just a one-off.
Never happened before.
76
00:53:12,419 --> 00:53:15,370
l promise it won't be
a regular feature of life.
77
00:53:23,127 --> 00:53:24,075
Paul...
78
00:53:24,169 --> 00:53:26,159
l haven't made up my mind
79
00:53:26,252 --> 00:53:28,243
what l'm doing about this yet.
80
00:53:29,919 --> 00:53:31,411
Do you understand?
81
00:53:33,377 --> 00:53:34,372
Yes.
82
00:53:36,419 --> 00:53:37,911
No, not really.
83
00:53:38,002 --> 00:53:39,792
l can't see this working out.
84
00:53:39,877 --> 00:53:42,412
- lt's my last chance.
- Don't be silly.
85
00:53:42,502 --> 00:53:44,493
lt's just what it feels like.
86
00:53:44,585 --> 00:53:47,619
Are you prepared
to be a one-parent family?
87
00:53:47,710 --> 00:53:49,950
l think if we go
through with this,
88
00:53:50,044 --> 00:53:52,034
one of us is gonna have to be.
89
00:53:52,127 --> 00:53:53,620
No, it'll be brilliant.
90
00:53:57,044 --> 00:53:58,536
l don't think l've been
91
00:53:58,627 --> 00:54:01,162
since George Eastham
was in the team.
92
00:54:01,252 --> 00:54:02,745
Before my time.
93
00:54:02,835 --> 00:54:04,625
He was a lovely player.
94
00:54:04,710 --> 00:54:06,701
The sort you don't get
any more.
95
00:54:06,794 --> 00:54:08,784
Languid and thoughtful
and elegant.
96
00:54:08,877 --> 00:54:11,910
You should come
and watch Tony Adams.
97
00:54:12,002 --> 00:54:13,495
How can l help, anyway?
98
00:54:13,585 --> 00:54:16,619
l changed my mind about
that Head of Year job,
99
00:54:16,710 --> 00:54:18,203
if it's not too late.
100
00:54:18,294 --> 00:54:20,829
No. No, excellent.
l'm very pleased.
101
00:54:20,919 --> 00:54:22,909
l've had a couple
of applications
102
00:54:23,002 --> 00:54:25,537
but l'd be glad
to add your name.
103
00:54:25,627 --> 00:54:26,575
Thank you.
104
00:54:26,669 --> 00:54:28,161
Any particular reason
105
00:54:28,252 --> 00:54:29,828
for the change of mind?
106
00:54:29,919 --> 00:54:31,411
There is, actually, yes.
107
00:54:31,502 --> 00:54:32,995
Er, Miss, um...
108
00:54:33,085 --> 00:54:35,076
Well, Miss Hughes is pregnant.
109
00:54:36,210 --> 00:54:37,703
Sarah Hughes? History?
110
00:54:37,794 --> 00:54:39,286
Yes, yes, of course.
111
00:54:39,377 --> 00:54:41,368
Um... Well, l didn't, um...
112
00:54:41,460 --> 00:54:42,953
l mean, she...
113
00:54:43,044 --> 00:54:45,034
How does this affect you?
114
00:54:45,127 --> 00:54:47,118
Sorry, no. l left a bit out.
115
00:54:47,210 --> 00:54:48,668
l'm the father.
116
00:54:48,752 --> 00:54:50,743
l should've told you that
117
00:54:50,835 --> 00:54:52,293
straight away, shouldn't l?
118
00:54:52,377 --> 00:54:54,865
Anyway, yes,
we're having a baby.
119
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:56,951
l haven't heard this from her.
120
00:54:57,044 --> 00:54:59,034
You're hearing it
from me, now.
121
00:54:59,127 --> 00:55:01,662
Sorry, Paul,
l can't share your joy.
122
00:55:01,752 --> 00:55:04,287
Sarah's been
with us five minutes
123
00:55:04,377 --> 00:55:07,410
and a member of staff
has knocked her up!
124
00:55:07,502 --> 00:55:10,535
l'm intending
to marry her and everything.
125
00:55:10,627 --> 00:55:12,120
We won't embarrass the school.
126
00:55:12,210 --> 00:55:14,699
You already have
embarrassed the school!
127
00:55:14,794 --> 00:55:18,870
How on earth are we
supposed to talk to kids
128
00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:20,951
about responsibility
and contraception
129
00:55:21,044 --> 00:55:22,833
and...and the rest of it
130
00:55:22,919 --> 00:55:24,411
when the staff themselves...
131
00:55:26,294 --> 00:55:27,786
Words fail me!
132
00:55:27,877 --> 00:55:30,247
- l thought you'd be pleased.
- About what?
133
00:55:30,335 --> 00:55:33,203
The clandestine affair?
The accidental pregnancy?
134
00:55:33,294 --> 00:55:34,751
Not those bits, maybe,
135
00:55:34,835 --> 00:55:36,625
but me applying for the job.
136
00:55:36,710 --> 00:55:38,203
That's good, isn't it?
137
00:55:38,294 --> 00:55:40,284
Are you a complete fool, Paul?
138
00:55:42,752 --> 00:55:44,577
l'll talk to you later.
139
00:55:46,794 --> 00:55:48,286
Yeah, OK, OK.
140
00:55:48,377 --> 00:55:49,704
Calm down.
141
00:55:49,794 --> 00:55:52,827
l want you to take
your foot off the gas
142
00:55:52,919 --> 00:55:54,411
in the second half.
143
00:55:54,502 --> 00:55:56,825
What's the fun
of beating a team
144
00:55:56,919 --> 00:55:58,411
1 5 or 20-nil?
145
00:55:58,502 --> 00:55:59,959
lt's brilliant fun!
146
00:56:00,044 --> 00:56:03,077
All right.
Just take it easy, eh?
147
00:56:03,169 --> 00:56:04,661
You're like vultures.
148
00:56:04,752 --> 00:56:06,245
Now go on!
149
00:56:06,335 --> 00:56:07,828
Come on, lads!
150
00:56:24,669 --> 00:56:25,617
Oh, hi.
151
00:56:25,710 --> 00:56:27,203
We're winning 8-nil.
152
00:56:27,294 --> 00:56:28,242
[Cheer]
153
00:56:28,335 --> 00:56:29,793
Er, 9-nil.
154
00:56:29,877 --> 00:56:31,868
[Shouts to boys] Calm down!
155
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:33,750
Are you a complete fool?
156
00:56:33,835 --> 00:56:35,328
You've been to see Ted.
157
00:56:35,419 --> 00:56:37,409
He's not best pleased with us.
158
00:56:37,502 --> 00:56:40,204
Who else are you
gonna tell? The kids?
159
00:56:40,294 --> 00:56:43,327
We could recreate
what we did in assembly.
160
00:56:43,419 --> 00:56:46,452
Find the Durex that split
and bring it in.
161
00:56:46,544 --> 00:56:48,333
l could lose my job!
162
00:56:48,419 --> 00:56:50,954
They can't sack you
for getting pregnant.
163
00:56:51,044 --> 00:56:54,077
l haven't been here
long enough for maternity leave.
164
00:56:54,169 --> 00:56:55,626
The union'll help.
165
00:56:55,710 --> 00:56:58,495
None of this is the point, Paul.
166
00:56:58,585 --> 00:57:00,078
The point is...
167
00:57:00,169 --> 00:57:02,159
How many times have l told you
168
00:57:02,252 --> 00:57:04,243
about playing to the whistle?
169
00:57:04,335 --> 00:57:05,828
Call me later, OK?
170
00:57:07,335 --> 00:57:08,793
See, if we...
171
00:57:10,460 --> 00:57:12,250
Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!
172
00:57:14,627 --> 00:57:16,618
Come on, you useless shower!
173
00:57:16,710 --> 00:57:19,246
This lot are crap -
get stuck in!
174
00:57:29,835 --> 00:57:31,293
l'm not a psychologist...
175
00:57:31,377 --> 00:57:34,410
but l'd suggest
that taking up smoking
176
00:57:34,502 --> 00:57:37,073
the week you find out
you're pregnant
177
00:57:37,169 --> 00:57:38,661
indicates a certain ambivalence
178
00:57:38,752 --> 00:57:40,743
towards the pregnancy
on your part.
179
00:57:42,335 --> 00:57:43,793
He's given up.
180
00:57:44,919 --> 00:57:46,411
- Paul?!
- Mm-hm.
181
00:57:46,502 --> 00:57:48,493
Mr First Thing in the Morning?
182
00:57:48,585 --> 00:57:52,117
Yeah. We're both making it
clear where we stand.
183
00:57:52,210 --> 00:57:54,000
l start drinking and smoking
184
00:57:54,085 --> 00:57:55,875
and he's given everything up.
185
00:58:00,127 --> 00:58:01,584
This is horrible.
186
00:58:01,669 --> 00:58:05,248
l don't care how much
damage it's doing to me.
187
00:58:06,794 --> 00:58:10,040
So if everything's as bad
as you make out,
188
00:58:10,127 --> 00:58:13,706
how come you're not applying
for jobs in...Pitlochry?
189
00:58:16,919 --> 00:58:19,454
l know Paul's gone
completely mad.
190
00:58:19,544 --> 00:58:21,036
l know, l know, l know.
191
00:58:21,127 --> 00:58:24,706
lt's just that it kind of
rubs off on you somehow.
192
00:58:30,919 --> 00:58:32,411
lt makes a difference
193
00:58:32,502 --> 00:58:35,037
- to how you think about things.
- Like?
194
00:58:35,127 --> 00:58:36,584
Like today, right?
195
00:58:36,669 --> 00:58:38,161
l want us to win.
196
00:58:38,252 --> 00:58:40,787
- With you so far.
- l think we will.
197
00:58:40,877 --> 00:58:42,370
Home to Norwich,
198
00:58:42,460 --> 00:58:44,451
you'd usually predict
two-nil defeat.
199
00:58:44,544 --> 00:58:47,079
Nil-nil if you was
on top of the world.
200
00:58:47,169 --> 00:58:50,036
lf we don't, it's not
the end of the world.
201
00:58:50,127 --> 00:58:52,497
Four games left.
twelve points to be won.
202
00:58:52,585 --> 00:58:54,375
That's not what l mean.
203
00:58:54,460 --> 00:58:56,451
lf we don't win the League,
204
00:58:56,544 --> 00:58:59,577
l'll cope because
of Sarah and the baby.
205
00:58:59,669 --> 00:59:02,122
When you've got
nothing else going on,
206
00:59:02,210 --> 00:59:03,703
Arsenal fill all the gaps.
207
00:59:03,794 --> 00:59:05,784
You end up getting in a state
208
00:59:05,877 --> 00:59:07,334
about losing to Spurs
209
00:59:07,419 --> 00:59:08,911
when really you should be
210
00:59:09,002 --> 00:59:10,993
getting in a state
about yourself.
211
00:59:12,127 --> 00:59:13,869
But we will win today.
212
00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:16,496
Sun's out,
l'm gonna be a father,
213
00:59:16,585 --> 00:59:18,078
Alan Smith's back.
214
00:59:18,169 --> 00:59:19,626
Five-nil, no trouble.
215
00:59:20,752 --> 00:59:21,747
Let's go.
216
00:59:26,794 --> 00:59:28,868
[TV]
'George Graham off the bench
217
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:32,539
'to shake hands with a very
disappointed Dave Stringer.
218
00:59:32,627 --> 00:59:34,618
'Norwich know their
Championship challenge
219
00:59:34,710 --> 00:59:35,954
'has evaporated.
220
00:59:36,044 --> 00:59:37,501
'Arsenal's is very much
221
00:59:37,585 --> 00:59:39,078
'on course after today.
222
00:59:39,169 --> 00:59:41,159
'Arsenal five, Norwich City nil.
223
00:59:41,252 --> 00:59:43,243
'Alan Smith the man of the match
224
00:59:43,335 --> 00:59:44,828
'with two goals,
225
00:59:44,919 --> 00:59:46,909
'one of them
a splendid effort...'
226
00:59:47,002 --> 00:59:48,459
Everything's happening at once
227
00:59:48,544 --> 00:59:50,001
and it's brilliant.
228
00:59:50,085 --> 00:59:53,119
Stick with me.
No way we won't win the League.
229
00:59:53,210 --> 00:59:54,703
lt's all you, is it?
230
00:59:54,794 --> 00:59:57,827
Nothing to do
with George, Smithy, Rocky
231
00:59:57,919 --> 00:59:59,411
or me buying sugar mice?
232
00:59:59,502 --> 01:00:02,037
You never get
feelings like that?
233
01:00:02,127 --> 01:00:03,785
l felt brilliant the day
234
01:00:03,877 --> 01:00:06,910
we got knocked out
of the League by Walsall.
235
01:00:07,002 --> 01:00:08,495
Got a pay rise,
236
01:00:08,585 --> 01:00:11,619
got off with Caroline Walsh
the night before.
237
01:00:11,710 --> 01:00:14,246
Fat lot of fucking notice
this lot took.
238
01:00:14,335 --> 01:00:17,369
Some of us have it,
some of us haven't.
239
01:00:17,460 --> 01:00:20,494
You must've had
a shitty life for 1 8 years.
240
01:00:20,585 --> 01:00:22,576
l haven't had it all the time
241
01:00:22,669 --> 01:00:25,335
but l've got it
this season in spades.
242
01:00:31,085 --> 01:00:32,543
Did you go?
243
01:00:32,627 --> 01:00:34,618
Yeah. We were great, weren't we?
244
01:00:34,710 --> 01:00:36,701
My mum wants a season ticket.
245
01:00:36,794 --> 01:00:38,583
Can l have a quick word?
246
01:00:38,669 --> 01:00:41,702
We're just talking
about the rout of Norwich.
247
01:00:41,794 --> 01:00:43,370
Yes, saw it on TV.
248
01:00:43,460 --> 01:00:44,834
Very impressive.
249
01:00:44,919 --> 01:00:47,407
lt's good
that Alan Smith's back.
250
01:00:47,502 --> 01:00:48,959
Yeah. Run along, Robert.
16883
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