Original subtitles

And some stuff that just won't go away.

And some stuff that you couldn't ignore

even if you wanted to.

[Phone rings]

Hello.

[Paul] 'lt's me.'

Do you know what time it is?

'Yeah, and l'm sorry.'

Listen, are you pregnant?

Are these for me?

Yeah.

Flowers.

l suppose they were,

once upon a time.

Thank you.

Come on, Jo.

Oh.

And chocolates!

lt's come just at the right time for me.

lt's come just at the right time for me.

l was gettin' bored with that pub and football stuff.

You can only spend so much time

playing Subbuteo.

Having a kid's a brilliant idea.

lt wasn't really an idea.

lt might as well have been.

lt's perfect.

lt's not just the baby.

lt's, you know, it's you as well.

l think we're good together.

l thought l was Miss Jean Brodie.

l was wrong. l've been thinking about this.

You're George Graham.

The Arsenal manager.

And that's good, is it?

lt's brilliant.

You're careful and organised

and methodical and all that.

That's why we work.

l need somebody like that.

And you need somebody like me....

Work well as a team.

Not even as a team, as a club.

Paul, you do talk some terrible nonsense.

lt's not. lt's the truth.

lt's all working out.

Wife and baby, that'll do me.

Who said anything about a wife?

We'd want to do it properly, wouldn't we?

Liam? lf it's a boy.

The greatest Arsenal player ever

but it's a nice name.

Better apply for the job.

What job?

Rosie's Head of Year job. l said no -

but now, brilliant. Perfect timing.

We'll need a bit more money

'cause we'll need a house.

- Paul... - Ted'll be pleased, anyway.

- Liam, brilliant. - Paul...

We could live near the ground.

lt's cheap 'cause no-one wants a football stadium

on their doorstep. l'd pay extra

but we won't tell the estate agent.

Mortgage, wife, kid - cool.

Paul, none of this is real.

You're behaving like a little kid.

l've been impregnated by a 1 2-year-old!

Oh, thanks.

Thanks very much.

Sorry about that.

No problem, sir.

Sorry, you were saying?

Paul, this is exactly what l mean.

That was just a one-off. Never happened before.

l promise it won't be a regular feature of life.

Paul...

l haven't made up my mind

what l'm doing about this yet.

Do you understand?

Yes.

No, not really.

l can't see this working out.

- lt's my last chance. - Don't be silly.

lt's just what it feels like.

Are you prepared to be a one-parent family?

l think if we go through with this,

one of us is gonna have to be.

No, it'll be brilliant.

l don't think l've been

since George Eastham was in the team.

Before my time.

He was a lovely player.

The sort you don't get any more.

Languid and thoughtful and elegant.

You should come and watch Tony Adams.

How can l help, anyway?

l changed my mind about that Head of Year job,

if it's not too late.

No. No, excellent. l'm very pleased.

l've had a couple of applications

but l'd be glad to add your name.

Thank you.

Any particular reason

for the change of mind?

There is, actually, yes.

Er, Miss, um...

Well, Miss Hughes is pregnant.

Sarah Hughes? History?

Yes, yes, of course.

Um... Well, l didn't, um...

l mean, she...

How does this affect you?

Sorry, no. l left a bit out.

l'm the father.

l should've told you that

straight away, shouldn't l?

Anyway, yes, we're having a baby.

l haven't heard this from her.

You're hearing it from me, now.

Sorry, Paul, l can't share your joy.

Sarah's been with us five minutes

and a member of staff has knocked her up!

l'm intending to marry her and everything.

We won't embarrass the school.

You already have embarrassed the school!

How on earth are we supposed to talk to kids

about responsibility and contraception

and...and the rest of it

when the staff themselves...

Words fail me!

- l thought you'd be pleased. - About what?

The clandestine affair? The accidental pregnancy?

Not those bits, maybe,

but me applying for the job.

That's good, isn't it?

Are you a complete fool, Paul?

l'll talk to you later.

Yeah, OK, OK.

Calm down.

l want you to take your foot off the gas

in the second half.

What's the fun of beating a team

1 5 or 20-nil?

lt's brilliant fun!

All right. Just take it easy, eh?

You're like vultures.

Now go on!

Come on, lads!

Oh, hi.

We're winning 8-nil.

[Cheer]

Er, 9-nil.

[Shouts to boys] Calm down!

Are you a complete fool?

You've been to see Ted.

He's not best pleased with us.

Who else are you gonna tell? The kids?

We could recreate what we did in assembly.

Find the Durex that split and bring it in.

l could lose my job!

They can't sack you for getting pregnant.

l haven't been here long enough for maternity leave.

The union'll help.

None of this is the point, Paul.

The point is...

How many times have l told you

about playing to the whistle?

Call me later, OK?

See, if we...

Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!

Come on, you useless shower!

This lot are crap - get stuck in!

l'm not a psychologist...

but l'd suggest that taking up smoking

the week you find out you're pregnant

indicates a certain ambivalence

towards the pregnancy on your part.

He's given up.

- Paul?! - Mm-hm.

Mr First Thing in the Morning?

Yeah. We're both making it clear where we stand.

l start drinking and smoking

and he's given everything up.

This is horrible.

l don't care how much damage it's doing to me.

So if everything's as bad as you make out,

how come you're not applying for jobs in...Pitlochry?

l know Paul's gone completely mad.

l know, l know, l know.

lt's just that it kind of rubs off on you somehow.

lt makes a difference

- to how you think about things. - Like?

Like today, right?

l want us to win.

- With you so far. - l think we will.

Home to Norwich,

you'd usually predict two-nil defeat.

Nil-nil if you was on top of the world.

lf we don't, it's not the end of the world.

Four games left. twelve points to be won.

That's not what l mean.

lf we don't win the League,

l'll cope because of Sarah and the baby.

When you've got nothing else going on,

Arsenal fill all the gaps.

You end up getting in a state

about losing to Spurs

when really you should be

getting in a state about yourself.

But we will win today.

Sun's out, l'm gonna be a father,

Alan Smith's back.

Five-nil, no trouble.

Let's go.

[TV] 'George Graham off the bench

'to shake hands with a very disappointed Dave Stringer.

'Norwich know their Championship challenge

'has evaporated.

'Arsenal's is very much

'on course after today.

'Arsenal five, Norwich City nil.

'Alan Smith the man of the match

'with two goals,

'one of them a splendid effort...'

Everything's happening at once

and it's brilliant.

Stick with me. No way we won't win the League.

lt's all you, is it?

Nothing to do with George, Smithy, Rocky

or me buying sugar mice?

You never get feelings like that?

l felt brilliant the day

we got knocked out of the League by Walsall.

Got a pay rise,

got off with Caroline Walsh the night before.

Fat lot of fucking notice this lot took.

Some of us have it, some of us haven't.

You must've had a shitty life for 1 8 years.

l haven't had it all the time

but l've got it this season in spades.

Did you go?

Yeah. We were great, weren't we?

My mum wants a season ticket.

Can l have a quick word?

We're just talking about the rout of Norwich.

Yes, saw it on TV.

Very impressive.

lt's good that Alan Smith's back.

Yeah. Run along, Robert.

l had a word with the Governors.

They'll be happy to interview you

for Head of Year.

Thanks, Ted.

Ted...l'm not planning to make a habit of this

if that's what you're worried about.

lt's something out of the ordinary for me.

Just be prepared, OK?

School Governors can be a funny lot.

[Radio] '..Still Middlesborough nil,

'Arsenal nil...'

You're kidding. No way.

Can't afford anywhere else.

N5's not the only place in the world, you know.

Sarah, you know that's not true.

You hardly hear anything, most games.

How often do they play?

Once a month.

- Something like that. - Right.

Do they leave much mess?

No. Shall l leave you to look around?

Thanks, yeah.

What does it matter how close to the ground you live

as long as you can come to the games?

When l was a kid, l read this...

story about what used to happen round here

on Cup Final days if Arsenal were playing.

They'd have this procession.

The women and kids dressed up in fancy dress

and led the men going to Wembley to the station.

l lived in Maidenhead.

- What did we have there? - Money, decent schools,

holidays abroad, enough food.

Yeah. You're right, yeah.

l was lucky.

But l was rootless, too.

l didn't have anything like that.

Nothing l could be proud of,

nothing l can look back on and feel sentimental about

except telly programmes and pop music.

But it's different here.

Anyway...it's close to the tube.

lt's 50 minutes from the West End.

lt's not far from school.

l'm not prepared

to indulge your fantasies.

The best thing for you

would be to get further away,

not a few yards nearer.

- lt doesn't feel like that. - Tough.

[Agent] ls there a problem?

- No. - No!

[Sarah] lt's a lovely house. Really.

lt's just the view.

[Radio] 'So George Graham...'

Tell me again what was wrong

with that place in... Creighton Avenue.

The one with the garden.

'Despite all their control, Arsenal...'

l'm talking to myself.

Somewhere a bit further north, anyway.

Bounds Green?

'John Lukic prepares

to play it downfield...'

Watford?

'..lnto the Middlesborough half...'

How about Darlington? There's a team there.

'Goal!'

YES! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Helsinki. Helsinki United

are really good this season.

[Paul sings] One Martin Hayes!

There's only one Martin Hayes!

One Martin...

[Man] So, Paul...

Confident?

Sorry, not about the job.

About what's going on down the road.

Arsenal. My boy tells me you're a fan.

Oh, right.

Well, er...so far, so good.

Season ticket holder?

Yes.

Whereabouts?

Er, North Bank.

Right, shall we, um...?

Who d'you think we should sign?

Think we need a new striker?

Er...

l'm delighted we didn't get Kerry Dixon.

Ray... Ray, l think we should, um...

Oh, sorry, Ted.

Once you get going, it's hard to stop.

We know all about your teaching abilities.

What extra-mural activites

are you involved in?

[Ray] Paul's just coached

the Under-1 4s to the Cup Final.

My Nigel thinks you should be England Manager.

Might be a more suitable position than Head of Year.

l did the school play last summer and...

Who've we got in the final?

Parkside?

Are they any good?

Pretty good.

And l've been very much involved

in the pastoral side of things

as a form teacher.

And we understand that, um,

you're an expectant father.

Um...yes.

[Ray] That's one

of the extra-mural activities

you forgot to mention, Paul.

Chatting up other members of staff.

MORE than chatting them up.

You've got good taste, l'll give you that.

'As we reach the final Saturday

'of the League season,

'we're not sure of the destiny of the League title.

'Arsenal are favourites...'

[Phone rings]

'Both sides must keep winning.

[Phone continues to ring]

'Defeat for Liverpool at Wimbledon this afternoon

'and a win for Arsenal against Derby...'

Hello? Oh, hello, Ted.

'..when they meet Wimbledon.'

No, just watching Saint and Greavesie.

Yeah, home to Derby.

'..At Anfield...'

Thank you.

'..On May the 26th.'

Oh. ..Oh, right.

l wasn't really expecting it, to be honest.

lt didn't go brilliantly, did it?

Oh, is she?

Well, no...

l think she'd make a very good Head of Year.

Yeah.

Look, thanks...

[Door slams]

Thanks for letting me know.

[Toilet flushes]

No, l'd have swapped it

for three points this afternoon anyway.

Cheers, Ted.

When was the last time

you felt this nervous about a League game?

l dunno.

1 971 , l should think.

Two home wins, could be Champions Tuesday night.

lmagine.

What we gonna do?

Drink, l expect.

Can't think about it in bed at night

otherwise l can't sleep.

Champions!

Take back everything you said about me.

l will. Tuesday night.

This is the worst day of my life.

1 8 fucking years and they blow it

on the last weekend of the season.

Come on, Paul, it's only half-time.

lt's only one-nil.

Doesn't matter.

They've blown it.

Knew they would, didn't l?

Useless bastards!

l am sorry.

Yeah, thanks.

How are you feeling?

Sick.

l just wasn't expecting it,

not today, anyway.

They had to tell you some time.

Tell me what?

What have we been talking about?

What have YOU been talking about?

The job!

The job?! You think l'd be this upset

about a stupid, poxy job interview?

We lost at home to Derby today. We've blown it!

When are you gonna wake up to yourself?

Wake up to myself? l AM bloody awake!

l wish l wasn't.

l want to go to sleep

for the next ten seasons.

Seasons. l am sick to death

of hearing about bloody seasons!

We live our lives in years, Paul.

January through to December.

Not all of us.

Yes, all of us. Even you.

Do you understand what today meant?

You know how long l've been waiting for this?

Yes, l do. 1 8 years.

Yeah, 1 8 years!

l've wanted Arsenal to win the League

longer than l've wanted anything.

l've been after that Head of Year job

for about two weeks.

You think l'd care about that more?

No, you care more about one team

scoring more than another.

You thought l came to comfort you about that?

For a moment, yeah.

l credited you with imagination.

Thought you might understand.

lt's only a game.

DON'T SAY THAT!

Please! That is the worst,

most stupid thing anyone could say!

lt quite clearly isn't only a game.

lf it was, d'you honestly think l'd care this much?

Eh?

1 8 years!

1 8...years!

D'you know what you wanted

1 8 years ago?

Or ten? Or five?

Did you wanna be Head of Year

at a North London comprehensive?

l doubt if you've wanted anything for that long.

And if you had,

and if you'd spent three months

thinking that finally you were gonna get it

and just when you think it's there,

it's taken away from you!

l don't care what it is -

a car, a job, an Oscar.

The baby.

Then you'd understand

how l was feeling tonight.

But there isn't and you don't, so...

So what? So...fuck off?

Go home? Leave you alone?

Whatever.

There isn't anything l've wanted for 1 8 years

because l was a kid

lf l did still want the same things, l'd have gone wrong.

l don't want to marry David Cassidy,

have bigger tits,

do well in my mock 'O's.

l've stopped worrying about all that.

Maybe there's a big bit of you that's gone missing.

Maybe everyone should want something

they've always wanted.

l don't know what l've been thinking of.

How d'you mean?

We've both been pretending that this is possible

and it's not, is it?

This wife and kids

and la-di-da life's great stuff.

lt's not on, any of it, is it?

All it took was one bad football result

and we're now back

to ''life is shit so what's the point?''

What lS the point?

l don't think that Arsenal's home form

is a sturdy enough basis for marriage and parenthood.

No.

Not even THlS season.

'..Give him a surprise enema.'

[Phone rings]

'Sir Nigel?'

[Paul] Hello?

'How are you?'

Oh, hi, Mum.

Yeah, just having a night in.

Yeah, l know. They were awful.

Yeah, yeah...

She's fine.

She...says hello.

Look, Mum, l've gotta go.

Supper's on the table.

l'll call you tomorrow.

Bye, Mum.

[Door opens]

Mr Ashworth, the play was supposed to start

five minutes ago. We're waiting.

No good, Miss. He's got the hump.

Have you had a row?

[Class sniggers]

[Paul] Shut up, Holly.

OK, everyone into the hall.

Quietly!

How did Arsenal get on last night?

YOU have a look.

Ooh...sorry.

They drew two-two.

What does that mean?

Dunno. Apart from bad.

lt means they have to beat Liverpool away

to win the Championship.

Now, l've heard of Liverpool.

They're famous for being good, aren't they?

Gary Lineker, Peter Shilton, all that lot.

So Arsenal have no chance?

None whatsoever, it says here.

But do we really CARE that much?

Don't bounce it in here.

Miss Hughes.

Are you chewing?

No.

And finally, l probably don't need to tell you

that the final of the South Hertfordshire

Schools Cup Competition takes place here

this afternoon at 4.30.

l'm sure you join me

in wishing Mr Ashworth and the boys

the very best of luck.

Not that they'll need it.

l know that many of you

will be anxious to get home

to start your homework.

But...those who feel they can spare the time,

and wish to lend their vocal encouragement,

will be most welcome.

Thank you.

l think you stand

an extremely good chance...

[lnaudible]

[Kids shouting encouragement]

[Cheering]

How are we doing?

Losing one-nil.

Playing shit.

How long to go?

Almost finished.

[Whistle]

[Paul] Penalty!

Come on, somebody!

[Shouting from crowd]

lt's all down to you, Rob.

Good boy, Robert.

[Excited shouting]

[Whistle]

[Groans of disappointment]

Rob!

You're useless!

Sorry, sir. You don't need to say anything.

l wasn't gonna say anything.

l should never have taken it.

No one else had the guts.

Yeah, so l'm stupid as well as useless.

Doesn't matter. You've had a brilliant season.

lt's not what l'm gonna remember, though, is it?

Anyway...

Winning this afternoon

and Arsenal winning tomorrow night...

- What would you go for? - Tomorrow night, of course.

There you go, then.

What? You're telling me

Arsenal are gonna win two-nil at Anfield.

Can't promise, can l? There's a chance.

You've done your bit. Missed a penalty.

lf that's what it takes, it's worth it.

Yeah, 'course.

# What can l say?

# She's walking away

# From what we've seen

# What can l do?

# Still loving you

# lt's all a dream

# How can we hang on to dreams?

# How can it really be

# The way it seems?

# What can l do?

# She's saying we're through

# With how it was

# What will l try?

# l still don't see why

# She says what she does

# How can we hang on to dreams?

# How can it really be

# The way it seems? #

Good luck, sir.

You've got nothing to worry about.

No chance.

Hope you get stuffed, sir.

- Hi. - Oh, hi.

Off to watch the big match?

Yeah.

l just came to wish you good luck.

Thanks.

The boys in my GCSE set

were trying to explain it to me.

You have to win two-nil, right?

- Yeah. - lt's possible, isn't it?

You've got no chance, sir.

Shut up!

ls it right you've handed in your notice?

Yeah. l need more money. Child support.

We could've managed. Between us.

lt'd be a bit awkward,

working in the next room

to the absent father of your child.

Maybe.

Well, l'll be thinking of you tonight.

Are you gonna watch?

l'm not sure.

My fifth-formers are having and end-of-school party

and l've been invited. But l'll try.

lt doesn't matter. lt's only a stupid game.

[TV] 'The teams occupying

'first and second place in the Championship.

'The last match of the season

'for the League Championship.

'The Anfield roar welcoming and intimidating

'as we join our commentary team

'of David Pleat and Brian Moore.

'Thank you, Elton.

'Good evening, everybody.

'Arsenal on the pitch...

'with bouquets of flowers.

'Which l think are...'

We should be there.

You were the one who said

it wasn't worth the hassle.

l didn't know it'd be the title decider.

Anyway, imagine all those

Scousers celebrating.

l'd rather be down here

with my own people.

..Person.

Thank you.

Oh, sorry.

# She's gone away,

# l don't know where

# Somewhere l can't follow her...#

Thought you were a football fan, Duncan.

That's why l can't stand Arsenal.

- Sounds like an old joke. - No joke.

- William? - Hate football. And Arsenal.

Don't you wanna know how they're getting on?

- No. - Go on, l bet you do.

We wouldn't mind.

Mind if Miss Hughes sticks the TV on?

She wants the football scores.

- l don't, really. - Not much.

l wonder why. lf you must,

but just to find out the score.

OK.

[Pop music playing]

Still nil-nil, first half.

'lnto that crowd it goes.'

[Woman] There he is -

my mate, Mickey Thomas.

Shut up, Mum. He's useless.

l like him.

Shows what YOU know.

'They out-played them

'for most of the Littlewoods Cup tie...'

Miracle of modern technology.

But it hasn't got an aerial or nothing.

lt doesn't need one.

[Football commentator] 'Positive charge by Adams

'but it falls to Whelan.'

[Phone rings]

Oh, hello, love.

l was wondering who'd dare ring tonight.

'Arsenal have some very big chaps...'

Your brother'll have the phone off the hook.

'lt'd be dangerous to give away...'

No score. No, not really.

They don't look like they're gonna let one in either.

Hold on.

'..Tangling with Whelan.

'Michael Thomas getting to the byline.

'Danger for Liverpool.'

Oh!

- No! - Ah!

That was it. That was our chance.

No, there'll be others.

You reckon? l don't.

'Arsenal within a whisker

'of getting the goal they wanted

'early in this game.'

Let's go out.

..You're kidding.

No, let's go and get hammered.

Forget all about it.

l'm watching till the end.

Can't do that. Sorry.

'Just imagine the tension

'if Arsenal do manage to snatch a goal.'

Sit down.

There's no point!

l'm off in a minute.

l'll just...stay till half-time.

'Everyone's looking very closely at him.

'He's beginning to get the mood of this game...'

l'll just see what they've got to say.

Doin' OK, aren't we?

What's the use of OK?

Might as well be losing eight-nil.

lf you want to win a game two-nil,

you've got more chance if it's nil-nil at half-time

than if you're eight goals down.

You're living in cloud cuckoo land!

Join the real world!

ln the real world, it's nil-nil at half time!

Might as well be eight-nil.

Jesus, Paul, you need medical help.

You've got some kind of disease

that turns people into miserable bastards.

- Are you stayin'? - No!

'l'm just wondering at what stage

'George Graham will decide...'

Just watch a couple of minutes of the second half.

'Winterburn and Richardson behind it.

'Adams made a darting little run in there.

'And Smith!'

- Y-E-E-ES! - YES!

- Ha, ha! - Yeah!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

'Liverpool players

'are surrounding the referee.'

He's gonna disallow it now.

Typical. Bet you any money you like.

'He's coming to have a word with the linesman.

'Now - a crucial decision here.

'Ronnie Whelan looking on there.

'The goal's been given.'

YE-E-ES!

lsn't that just like Arsenal?

They need two so they score one

just to get us all going.

You want 'em to score a second before they scored the first?

'And what a game we have now.

'The breakthrough by Arsenal,

'their fans...

'are delighted.

'Back to Smith.

'Adams there with him.

'Merson...

'Richardson...

'A chance here...

'Thomas!'

Oh!

'..Grobbelar grabbed it.'

Told you. He's useless.

'Suddenly, Thomas, totally unmarked...'

That's it. l've had enough. l'm off.

Good. Fucking good riddance!

Are you coming?

No!

lt's M Y flat!

You try gettin' me out of it.

'And Hansen will get it back.

'Quarter of an hour left.'

They've scored!

OK, listen up, everyone.

l don't know what to say now.

[Everyone] Sasha!

Um, well, basically, Miss Hughes,

we had a whip-round

and bought you a thank-you present.

Was that it?

Brief and to the point. Thank you.

Wait. There's a bit more.

Well, we didn't like you at first

'cause you gave us too much work.

But we really enjoyed it

and we think we'll pass our exams

so you must be a good teacher.

Scott, who's at home watching football,

says you're like George Graham

because you push us hard and get results.

[Cheering]

Dinner's ready, guys!

[Cheers]

# Been around the world and l, l, l

# l can't find my baby

# l don't know when, l don't know why

# Why he's gone away

# And l don't know where he can be

# My baby

# But l'm gonna find him

# l'm going to fi-i-i-ind him

# My...b-b-b-b-baby

# l did too much lying

# Wasted too much time

# Now l'm here and crying

# Now, now, now

# Been around the world

# and l, l, l...#

Highbury, please.

Whereabouts?

Just around the corner

from the Arsenal ground.

l don't wanna go there tonight.

Not now.

lt's in Liverpool, the football.

But l'm tapin' it, see.

They'll give the game away there.

They'll be doin' their nut

or be as quiet as the grave.

You can go in and out

before the final whistle.

Come on, then.

# Lookin' for my baby

# Been around the world

# And l'm gonna... ##

You're an Arsenal fan, then?

Used to be, when l was a kid.

Charlie George an' all of them.

l don't go any more.

l'd bloody love 'em to win tonight.

l'd bloody love it!

'Remember, Arsenal need two goals.

'At the moment, they have one.

'lf it stays this way,

'Liverpool will be Champions for the 1 9th time.'

We shouldn't even have turned the TV on this evening.

'But will it stay this way?'

What did we think would happen?

l don't reckon l'll be able to carry on after this.

l won't be able to...

pick myself up.

Well, to get this close!

'Unless there is an amazing and dramatic...'

Why did l listen to you?

Me?

You said we had a chance!

Well, we did. We do!

We're practically in injury time!

'Arsenal have powered forward

'in search of the second goal.'

l might start supporting a team

that never wins.

Orient or someone.

At least you know where you stand.

You don't lay yourself open

to situations like this.

[Door buzzer]

'..His team-mate, John Aldridge...'

Can you believe that?

You're on your way out.

See what they want when you're down there.

'Presumably, we'll have to go on.

'And remember,

'Arsenal have both substitutes already on.'

[Door buzzer]

'One minute to go.

'McMahon has got the word from the Kop, obviously.

'But nobody knows quite how much time

'the referee will add on.'

This is awful!

lt's like the end of the world!

'lf Arsenal ARE to lose the Championship,

'having had such a lead at one time,

'it's somewhat poetic justice

'that they have the result

'even though they're not to win it.'

Oh, shut up, Pleat.

[Door buzzer again]

'You can see we're now

'well into time added on.'

Will you please, please, please, please

please just fucking fuck off!

You have arrived during the worst 60 seconds of my life

and l don't want to see you!

[Slams window shut]

l ask you! What sort of berk would do that?

You'd just about forgive an alien from Planet Tharg

but even then, you'd...

Where you going?

You're mad! You might miss something!

'Adams is after his man.

'But Barnes will not be denied.

'Yes, he will, by Richardson.

'Down and injured.

'Streaming forward now

'in what will be their last attack.

'Good ball by Dixon, finding Smith.

'To Thomas.

PA-A-A-A-A-AUL!

'Charging through the midfield, Thomas!'

'lt's up for grabs now...

'Thomas!

'Right at the end.'

A-A-A-A-A-A-AH!

'An unbelievable climax

'to the League season!'

A-A-A-A-A-A-AH!

Mickey Thomas!

Yeah!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Oh!

Oh...

How much injury time is there?

They've had two minutes already.

They'll go straight up the other end

and score.

[Football commentary]

[Whistle]

'That's the final whistle.

'Arsenal, the Champions.'

And Ashworth has done it!

Arsenal!

Arsenal!

We are the Champions!

YEAH!

[Tumultuous cheering]

# From the dark end of the street

# To the bright side of the road

# We'll be lovers once again

# On the bright side of the road

YES!

# Little darling, come with me

# You can help me share my load

# From the dark end of the street

# To the bright side of the road...#

l KNEW we'd do it.

l had this feeling.

Oh, yeah?

You're a lying bastard.

No, no, honestly.

On the surface,

l was all negativity and doubt.

But on the inside, you gotta believe, haven't you?

# Baby, some time

# l feel some time, l don't know why...

[Chanting football songs]

# Let's enjoy it while we can

# Let's enjoy it while we can

# Help me sing my song

# Help me sing my song

# Little darling, follow me

# To the bright side of the road

# From the dark end of the street

# From the dark end of the street

# To the bright side of the road

# To the bright side of the road... #

[Cheering and singing]

l AM sorry.

No.

No, thank YOU.

l wouldn't have missed this for the world!

PAUL!

Friend of yours?

A guy l work with.

He's enjoying himself.

Yeah.

l've never seen him so happy.

[Paul] When l think back

to the 26th of May, 1 989 now,

it's impossible to explain

exactly what happened to either of us.

All three of us if you count the team.

But l do know this -

my relationship with Arsenal changed that night.

lt was as if l'd jumped on to the shoulders of the team

and they'd carried me into the light

that had suddenly shone down on all of us.

And the lift they gave me

enabled be to part company with them in some ways.

We still see each other all the time

and l still love them and hate them.

But l have my own life now.

My successes and failures

aren't necessarily linked up with theirs.

That's got to be a good thing, l suppose.

Life's never gonna be this good again.

Fuck off. Don't start on me.

No, you don't get...

- What's his name? - Michael Thomas.

You don't get Michael Thomas moments in real life.

You don't get many in football, either.

l'm not in such a state, am l?

l didn't need saving after all.

What?

Let's not get carried away.

You're still a tragic human being.

Do we look particularly tragic tonight?

Didn't see many Miss Jean Brodies

leaping around the streets.

All too busy writing out tomorrow's lesson plans.

Where did you find the term ''lesson plan''?

You've never planned a lesson.

l've got better things to do.

Oh, is that right?

ls, er, is George Graham really horrible?

Why?

No reason.

Has somebody else noticed the resemblance?

Yeah. My fifth-formers.

Hah! He has the reputation

of being mean and dour

and unapproachable and...

OK, OK. Thank you, Paul.

l think l get the message.

And driven!

# l think l'm going back

# To the things l learned so well

# ln my youth

# l think l'm returning to...

# Those days when l was young enough

# To know the truth

# Now there are no games

# To only pass the time

# No more electric trains

# No more trees to climb

# But thinking young and growing older

# ls no sin

# And l can play

# The game of life to win

# l can recall a time...

# When l wasn't ashamed

# To reach out to a friend

# Now l think l've got...

# A lot more than just my toys to lend

# Now there's more to do

# Than watch my sail boats glide

# And every day can be...

# A magic carpet ride

# A little bit of courage

# ls all we lack

# So catch me if you can...

# l'm going back #