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1
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[Ominous Music]
2
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Course, that's what everybody says
3
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That's the dichotomy, everybody separates rock'n'roll
between the Beatles from the Stones
4
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:06,817
Apollonian, uh, order, and Dionysian, chaos.
5
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Now that rock'n'roll is dead, now that we've
reached the end of its history
6
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:19,497
who won? Apollo or Dionysus? Chaos and order,
virtue and vice, it all mixed together
7
00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:25,628
the divide disappeared. Once the moment passed,
it was impossible to respresent these elemental forces
8
00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:31,884
any longer. The waters were muddied. And so
nothing merits the kind of obsession these progenitors
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00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:36,889
inspired. Whether its the legions of guitar players sticking
needles in their arms to chase something Keith Richards
10
00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:47,650
already found, or murderers citing song lyrics to give us a framework
for their madness. Or to give one to themselves. And here we are,
11
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:55,741
poisoned with nostaliga, doomed to plunder and remodel
the past. To produce pale imitations of sounds and pictures
12
00:01:55,741 --> 00:02:01,455
and words that accessed an energy and a paradigm shift that
we will never expierence but keep reaching for because
13
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:07,044
we cannot accept that nothing we create will ever have
that power,
14
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:12,258
that mystique, and that newness ever again.
15
00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:20,975
Are we going out?
16
00:02:29,108 --> 00:02:30,109
(sighs)
17
00:02:32,862 --> 00:02:34,822
Let's go out.
18
00:02:37,658 --> 00:03:30,336
[Foreboding Score]
19
00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:40,512
[Club DJ] Alright guys and gals, comin at ya right now join us up
there on that main stage, this is the beautiful Violet
20
00:03:42,765 --> 00:04:02,117
[music playing]
21
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,205
Why you holding out?
22
00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:10,542
Oh, hey big spender.
23
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,419
She earned it.
24
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,630
Not so chummy tonight, huh?
25
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,006
I was before?
26
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,425
Last time you seemed a little more...up.
27
00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:21,387
What, do you want some?
28
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,097
[Scoffs]
29
00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:27,309
Jaded prick routine isn't exactly convincing.
Or charming.
30
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:29,979
Who said I was trying to be charming?
31
00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:35,567
Give me a fucking cigarette.
32
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:39,363
[Club DJ] Alright guys, don't be shy out there.
Let's hear a hand for the lovely Violet.
33
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:40,489
Thank you.
34
00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:01,510
That didn't feel quite right either did it?
35
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:05,305
Well, now who's doing a routine?
36
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,765
What do you mean?
37
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:10,644
Well, the whole world weary maneater thing?
38
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,772
Don't worry, I'm a fan.
39
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,483
Am I that much of a stereotype?
40
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:20,738
Well, first of all, everyone out here is a
stereotype. Even in the valley.
41
00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:22,781
Besides, that's why you chose me.
42
00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,283
Chose you?
43
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,369
Fat guy, big stack, easy mark.
44
00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:31,874
You pegged me as a submissive.
45
00:05:31,874 --> 00:05:33,751
Wasn't that difficult.
46
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:36,962
Submission isn't weakness, you know.
Subs have all the power.
47
00:05:37,046 --> 00:05:39,256
I could put this cigarette out on your skin.
48
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:42,926
But if I let you, then I have control.
49
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,596
Funny way of looking at it.
50
00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:49,475
Seems to me like you don't have much here otherwise.
51
00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:51,435
I walk away and you wouldn't make any money.
52
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:54,605
True. I wouldn't make as much money.
53
00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:59,068
You'd walk away itching and I'd forget you
by the time I woke up tomorrow morning.
54
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:02,279
I didn't remember you.
55
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,574
Does that bother you?
56
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:10,662
I mean, it's kind of your job isn't it?
To be memorable?
57
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:14,124
Makes no difference if you remember me or not.
I still got you on the hook again.
58
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,459
Maybe.
59
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,378
Is this what you're here for?
60
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,047
No.
61
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,509
You're more fun high.
62
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:25,094
You or me?
63
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:26,887
Both.
64
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:29,515
Want something?
65
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,642
(laughs)
What do you want?
66
00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:34,228
I want to know why you keep talking to me.
67
00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:36,522
So you do remember me?
68
00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:38,107
I don't.
69
00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:42,361
But you remember me, so we've talked before.
And herewe are again. Chatting.
70
00:06:42,361 --> 00:06:44,822
So maybe I'm the memorable one.
71
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:49,493
It's just a different kind of vibe.
Not much more to it than that.
72
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,079
What makes me different?
73
00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:57,709
What makes me different?
74
00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,629
You hate yourself.
75
00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,844
And that attracts you?
76
00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:09,888
(Laughs)
That's not the word I would use.
77
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:11,890
We'll go with intrigued.
78
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:15,227
Because it's fun that I let you talk to me that way, right?
79
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,229
You're being a very bad sub.
80
00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:19,356
See, that's where you're wrong.
81
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:23,902
If you were to say you hate yourself to some random meathead
in off the street, he'd put you through the wall.
82
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:26,071
But you can say it to me.
83
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:28,657
You know you can say it to me.
84
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:31,076
Just like you could put that cigarette out on my skin.
85
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,619
If I let you.
86
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:36,248
But i might. And that's my hook.
87
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,876
Your hook.
88
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,420
That's my performance.
89
00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:45,132
People who hate themselves learn to perform it.
90
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,593
Cowards try to hide it.
91
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,471
But a true, self-loathing sub--
92
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,473
Like you.
93
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:59,313
A true, self-loathing sub is an expert on himself.
He is never not watching himself.
94
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:04,943
So there is nothing you can say or do that will fuck
me up worse than what I hear in my own head.
95
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,528
Want to make a bet?
96
00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:10,365
Point being
97
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:15,746
the goal of submission is freedom, surrender. Release.
98
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:23,921
And if you could provide those things I would imagine
it would be pretty fucking satisfying no matter which way you swing.
99
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,759
Alright, let's cut the bullshit.
100
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:36,975
(coughing)
101
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:38,685
(spit)
102
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:45,943
(water running)
103
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:54,826
[music playing]
104
00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:37,828
(sigh)
105
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:55,929
[Eerie Music]
106
00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:27,586
(high pitch tone)
107
00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:05,892
Sure. Why not?
108
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:08,979
(sniffles)
109
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:30,834
(singular keyboard note repeated)
110
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:39,759
[Melancholic Music]
111
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:57,444
[Gurgling Electronic Sound]
112
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,353
(Sigh)
113
00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:35,148
(Sucking)
114
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:47,702
Fucking phone.
115
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,560
(Sigh)
116
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:36,126
[Eerie Music]
117
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,628
(Phone buzzing)
118
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,267
What's up?
119
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:53,518
[Dealer] One?
120
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,811
Better make it a ball.
121
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:59,190
How's business?
122
00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:22,130
[Percussive Electronic Music]
123
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:56,247
You can take out the bad frequencies. Boost them.
124
00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:58,792
You can do whatever you want.
125
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:03,463
You can tweak it to your specifications.
126
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,217
I don't take drugs.
127
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,386
I apply effects to myself.
128
00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:12,889
Mute this frequency. Boost another.
129
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,558
Audio engineer.
130
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,602
Chemical engineer.
131
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:23,733
[music playing]
132
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,180
Cut the bullshit.
133
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,099
Are you making me an offer, what?
134
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,393
Aren't there rules about that sort of thing?
135
00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:00,228
You kidding?
136
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:02,689
Well, aren't you afraid to go home with a stranger?
137
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,524
I don't have to be afraid.
138
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:05,483
Why not?
139
00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:07,444
I have a gun in my purse.
140
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,321
Can I see it?
141
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:11,781
(laughs)
142
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,159
Mhm.
143
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:16,411
Is it...?
144
00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:18,246
It's loaded.
145
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:19,456
Show me the bullets.
146
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:20,415
It's loaded.
147
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,875
Have you fired it?
148
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,877
(Scoffs)
How much?
149
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:24,919
You tell me.
150
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,463
Five hudred.
151
00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:27,505
Done.
152
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:28,757
One hour.
153
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:29,716
Yes.
154
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:30,759
Meet me outside.
155
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:31,718
Yes.
156
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:32,719
Around the corner.
157
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:33,720
Yes.
158
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:34,721
Okay.
159
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:39,559
[Club DJ] Coming back to that main stage - this is the sexy Charlie.
160
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:55,992
[Ominous Tone]
161
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:17,222
Well.
162
00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:20,099
Not what you expected?
163
00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:23,603
I'm not sure what I expected.
164
00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:29,567
At the intersection of narcissism and depression is the
desire to turn yourself into an art project.
165
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,903
See how far you can go.
166
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:46,626
[Ominous Rumbling Music]
167
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,931
(sniffles)
168
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,192
(coughing)
169
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:15,530
(hacking)
170
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,007
(groaning)
171
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,472
(snorting)
172
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:08,708
(loud burst of upsetting noise)
173
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,090
What the fuck?
174
00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:25,308
(groaning electronic noise)
175
00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:26,976
What the fuck?
176
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:47,997
(gurgling, unpleasant sound)
177
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:50,249
What the fuck?
178
00:20:54,170 --> 00:21:01,594
(electronic grinding sounds)
179
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,849
Where is it?
180
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,893
Where the fuck is it?
181
00:21:10,687 --> 00:21:12,063
Shit
182
00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:21,114
Jesus Christ.
183
00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:23,908
Fuck
184
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:43,177
(gurgling electronic sound)
185
00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:56,149
[Warbling Ominous Music]
186
00:21:59,861 --> 00:22:05,950
(gurgling electronic sound)
187
00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:33,895
FUCK
188
00:22:38,232 --> 00:22:40,443
(sobbing)
189
00:22:40,443 --> 00:22:41,444
Fuck
190
00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:13,059
(weeping)
191
00:23:53,558 --> 00:23:54,976
(snort)
192
00:23:56,811 --> 00:23:59,564
It's still there.
193
00:24:01,149 --> 00:24:04,443
(hysterical laughing)
It's still there. It's still there.
194
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:08,489
A, A something. F Something.
195
00:24:09,323 --> 00:24:11,159
(snort)
196
00:24:16,330 --> 00:24:19,375
A something, F something
197
00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:20,334
(snort)
198
00:24:23,171 --> 00:24:24,213
A something.
199
00:24:24,213 --> 00:24:25,173
Fuck.
200
00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:28,342
Goddamnit.
201
00:24:28,342 --> 00:24:34,932
[Eerie Music]
202
00:24:34,932 --> 00:24:38,019
(water running)
203
00:24:46,194 --> 00:24:52,033
[music playing]
204
00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:56,329
(sighing)
205
00:25:00,958 --> 00:25:03,085
Loneliness.
206
00:25:08,299 --> 00:25:13,179
Lone-li-ness.
207
00:25:16,974 --> 00:25:27,526
Loneliness. Circles around when you're flat on your back.
Pulls down like an anchor at the center of you.
208
00:25:32,782 --> 00:25:35,034
Pulls down.
209
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:38,871
Like an anchor at the center of you.
210
00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:43,334
Weights on your eyelids. Teeth feel heavy and wrong.
211
00:25:44,585 --> 00:25:47,380
Cold creeps up the legs.
212
00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:55,012
Years of ache build up like bile in my stomach and seep
out my pores. Season my sweat.
213
00:25:55,805 --> 00:25:58,641
I should write this down.
214
00:25:58,641 --> 00:26:01,477
I should be writing all this down.
215
00:26:02,103 --> 00:26:04,188
Who cares?
216
00:26:05,189 --> 00:26:11,237
(muffled screams)
217
00:26:19,245 --> 00:26:20,246
Shut up.
218
00:26:20,621 --> 00:26:23,374
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
219
00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:25,960
Shut up. Shut up.
220
00:26:27,628 --> 00:26:28,629
Shut up.
221
00:26:28,629 --> 00:26:31,424
(booming noise)
222
00:26:31,424 --> 00:26:38,681
[Creepy Music]
223
00:26:46,772 --> 00:26:55,031
At the intersection of depression and narcissism is the desire to
turn yourself into an art project. See how far you can go.
224
00:26:55,031 --> 00:26:57,366
Who said that?
225
00:26:57,366 --> 00:26:59,035
I did.
226
00:26:59,869 --> 00:27:01,829
Of course.
227
00:27:05,833 --> 00:27:07,460
(snorting)
228
00:27:07,460 --> 00:27:10,421
No roommates?
229
00:27:10,421 --> 00:27:15,843
People find me difficult to live with.
230
00:27:24,435 --> 00:27:29,523
Well, I would normally suggest we don't talk about this stuff,
but I'm beginning to think that's what the five is for.
231
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:31,067
We can start there.
232
00:27:34,362 --> 00:27:41,160
(growling, unnatrual sound)
233
00:27:44,121 --> 00:27:46,123
Because of the noise?
234
00:27:46,332 --> 00:27:47,333
What?
235
00:27:48,042 --> 00:27:50,461
You've got a whole other room over there.
236
00:27:50,795 --> 00:27:53,339
That's it. The noise.
237
00:28:00,388 --> 00:28:02,306
Is this what you do for work?
238
00:28:03,724 --> 00:28:05,351
What do you do?
239
00:28:05,351 --> 00:28:06,811
As little as possible.
240
00:28:06,894 --> 00:28:08,896
How'd you manage that?
241
00:28:08,896 --> 00:28:09,897
Someone died.
242
00:28:15,403 --> 00:28:17,196
There's more, isn't there?
243
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:23,119
That's it. You want someone to figure you out and then tear you apart.
244
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:24,578
You're getting there.
245
00:28:24,578 --> 00:28:26,872
So that's why you're paying therapy prices?
246
00:28:26,872 --> 00:28:27,790
I'm assuming you're worth it.
247
00:28:27,790 --> 00:28:29,834
Have you done this before?
248
00:28:29,834 --> 00:28:31,585
Therapy or domination?
249
00:28:33,629 --> 00:28:36,924
A great deal of money has been
spent over the years trying to fix me, yes.
250
00:28:36,924 --> 00:28:39,051
But you're too smart for therapy.
251
00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:40,719
Ah, that's not what I said.
252
00:28:40,719 --> 00:28:43,055
Give me a fucking break.
253
00:28:43,055 --> 00:28:45,724
You're right, that's what I meant.
254
00:28:49,478 --> 00:28:50,479
Look.
255
00:28:50,479 --> 00:28:53,065
I'm not going to cross any lines with you here.
256
00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:58,904
We can talk a little if you want to, and I'll
cut you down if that's what you need, but
257
00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:02,324
I don't like the look in your eye.
258
00:29:02,324 --> 00:29:05,161
It's asking for something more than I can give.
259
00:29:05,911 --> 00:29:08,080
You don't have to be afraid of me.
260
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:12,084
Guys you don't have to be afraid of don't say shit like that.
261
00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:16,422
[score]
262
00:29:16,422 --> 00:29:18,883
(unsteady breathing)
263
00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:50,789
[Rising Drone]
264
00:32:31,700 --> 00:32:34,703
(snort)
265
00:32:35,537 --> 00:32:38,165
(laughter)
266
00:32:40,709 --> 00:32:43,879
Want some?
267
00:32:50,761 --> 00:32:53,138
I can't hear you.
268
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:40,185
(amp buzzing)
269
00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:29,693
(low rumbling)
270
00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:12,945
(electronic screeching)
271
00:35:34,424 --> 00:35:38,178
I've infected this place with myself.
272
00:35:45,227 --> 00:35:48,772
(electronic rumbling rises)
273
00:35:53,068 --> 00:35:55,821
I can hear you.
274
00:35:58,490 --> 00:36:00,909
I know you're in this room with me.
275
00:36:01,660 --> 00:36:05,080
(electronic Entity noise)
276
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:11,461
I don't believe in what I can't touch, but
I can feel the vibration coming through the wires
277
00:36:13,463 --> 00:36:14,840
and I know you're there.
278
00:36:15,966 --> 00:36:18,427
(low growling)
279
00:36:19,845 --> 00:36:25,183
Maybe this is the point at which belief aligns
280
00:36:27,686 --> 00:36:29,855
with transcendence?
281
00:36:29,855 --> 00:36:32,024
With God?
282
00:36:33,025 --> 00:36:37,404
I haven't believed in God since I was old enough to jerk off.
283
00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:39,156
(low Entity retort)
284
00:36:39,156 --> 00:36:41,033
So what?
285
00:36:41,033 --> 00:36:43,660
What then?
286
00:36:43,660 --> 00:36:45,621
Messenger from the beyond?
287
00:36:45,621 --> 00:36:49,249
Tell me about the fucking beyond.
288
00:36:49,249 --> 00:36:54,338
(low, quiet droning reply)
289
00:37:01,929 --> 00:37:03,388
(sigh)
290
00:37:08,435 --> 00:37:10,854
(admonishinig Entity sound)
291
00:37:12,397 --> 00:37:13,941
What this?
292
00:37:13,941 --> 00:37:15,525
(Entity rumble)
293
00:37:19,780 --> 00:37:21,823
I'm on the installment plan.
294
00:37:21,823 --> 00:37:24,576
(Entity gurgling, hissing)
295
00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:27,371
You feel strongly about it.
296
00:37:27,371 --> 00:37:31,541
(hissing reply)
297
00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:37,506
Do I need to speak?
298
00:37:38,048 --> 00:37:41,343
(electronic groaning)
299
00:37:43,929 --> 00:37:45,889
Do you understand?
300
00:37:45,889 --> 00:37:47,683
(electronic crackling)
301
00:37:49,851 --> 00:37:51,979
Am I going crazy?
302
00:37:52,354 --> 00:37:55,148
(soft growling)
303
00:37:58,151 --> 00:37:59,152
Right.
304
00:38:01,989 --> 00:38:04,658
(Entity mummering)
305
00:38:08,495 --> 00:38:10,455
What about you?
306
00:38:10,455 --> 00:38:12,874
(deep, electronic clanging)
307
00:38:12,874 --> 00:38:22,092
Coy. Quiet. Judgmental. Shadowed. Skittish.
308
00:38:22,092 --> 00:38:23,051
(soft Entity gurgles)
309
00:38:24,011 --> 00:38:27,014
If I crossed the room you'd disappear in a puff of smoke.
310
00:38:27,305 --> 00:38:30,350
(loud Entity buzzing)
311
00:38:30,350 --> 00:38:31,977
Fuck you.
312
00:38:32,644 --> 00:38:34,104
(Entity screech)
313
00:38:34,646 --> 00:38:36,523
Fuck you.
314
00:38:36,523 --> 00:38:37,524
(electronic whine)
315
00:38:39,943 --> 00:38:41,737
What do you know?
316
00:38:42,362 --> 00:38:43,947
(rising tone)
317
00:38:43,947 --> 00:38:46,533
Tell me about where you come from.
318
00:38:52,456 --> 00:38:55,167
Peel my eyes open for me.
319
00:38:55,167 --> 00:38:56,960
(Entity dismissal)
320
00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:00,130
That's exactly what she said.
321
00:39:00,130 --> 00:39:02,716
She didn't believe me, either.
322
00:39:02,716 --> 00:39:05,343
(aggressive retort)
323
00:39:09,097 --> 00:39:12,059
But you believe me.
324
00:39:12,059 --> 00:39:13,727
Don't you?
325
00:39:15,437 --> 00:39:19,441
[score]
326
00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:22,194
(hysteric laughter)
327
00:39:22,194 --> 00:39:26,782
No faith in me. Such a disappointment.
328
00:39:33,038 --> 00:39:37,501
What do I have to do to prove it to you?
329
00:39:43,757 --> 00:39:50,305
O, that this too, too sullied flesh
330
00:39:50,305 --> 00:39:51,973
(weeping)
I'm trying my best.
331
00:39:51,973 --> 00:39:59,356
Would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew
332
00:39:59,356 --> 00:40:07,447
Or that the Everlasting had not fixed His canon gainst self-slaughter.
333
00:40:08,782 --> 00:40:10,951
O God.
334
00:40:13,829 --> 00:40:16,248
God.
335
00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:24,005
(weeping)
336
00:40:24,005 --> 00:40:28,301
I can't do it all at once.
337
00:40:28,927 --> 00:40:36,059
There's no room for weakness,
for a lack of resolve.
338
00:40:38,270 --> 00:40:39,980
But you don't know.
339
00:40:39,980 --> 00:40:46,236
You don't know, you can't feel it.
You can't feel anything.
340
00:40:46,570 --> 00:40:48,071
Can you?
341
00:40:49,156 --> 00:40:52,367
Where will it end?
342
00:40:59,499 --> 00:41:01,418
I need your help.
343
00:41:06,464 --> 00:41:07,465
Please.
344
00:41:18,602 --> 00:41:19,603
Please.
345
00:41:24,107 --> 00:41:25,108
Please.
346
00:41:52,385 --> 00:41:53,386
(sniffing)
347
00:42:04,022 --> 00:42:14,741
(coughing)
348
00:42:59,119 --> 00:43:04,457
[Melancholic Music]
349
00:43:34,446 --> 00:43:37,782
Almost impossible.
350
00:44:46,351 --> 00:44:47,352
That's more like it.
351
00:44:47,352 --> 00:44:49,062
Tell me why no one loves you.
352
00:44:50,688 --> 00:44:52,774
That's even better.
353
00:44:52,774 --> 00:44:54,526
You didn't answer my question.
354
00:44:54,526 --> 00:44:57,112
No one loves me because I'm impossible.
355
00:44:57,112 --> 00:44:58,738
Insufferable.
356
00:44:59,948 --> 00:45:01,324
Why are you smiling at me?
357
00:45:01,324 --> 00:45:03,243
Ah, you can't stop me.
358
00:45:03,243 --> 00:45:12,419
Look, this is how it's going to work. I'm going to handle you,
you're going to obey me, and I'm going to walk out here with
359
00:45:12,419 --> 00:45:15,588
your money in my purse. You understand?
360
00:45:15,588 --> 00:45:16,548
Yes, ma'am.
361
00:45:16,548 --> 00:45:18,174
Yes, mistress.
362
00:45:18,383 --> 00:45:19,592
Yes, mistress.
363
00:45:19,676 --> 00:45:20,677
Better.
364
00:45:20,677 --> 00:45:21,678
Rope?
365
00:45:22,053 --> 00:45:24,597
Look around.
366
00:45:46,411 --> 00:45:50,248
Turn around. Face me.
367
00:45:53,668 --> 00:45:55,503
You smug piece of shit.
368
00:45:55,712 --> 00:45:56,713
Yes.
369
00:45:57,172 --> 00:45:58,798
You pretentious asshole.
370
00:45:59,466 --> 00:46:00,758
This is your first time.
371
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:03,303
That's a bold statement coming from someone with their hands tied.
372
00:46:03,636 --> 00:46:05,096
I'm wrong?
373
00:46:06,848 --> 00:46:10,894
If you want to hurt yourself why don't you
just do it all on your lonesome and save yourself the money.
374
00:46:10,894 --> 00:46:12,687
I'm trying to bottom out.
375
00:46:13,771 --> 00:46:16,274
Looks like you're doing fine to me.
376
00:46:16,774 --> 00:46:21,571
I'm afraid of needles, there's only so far I can go.
So are you going to hurt me or not?
377
00:46:22,447 --> 00:46:23,448
Why me?
378
00:46:24,157 --> 00:46:28,119
You could ask the same question of anybody who
pays for a lapdance. Because you'll take the money.
379
00:46:28,119 --> 00:46:29,537
You think I'm trash?
380
00:46:29,537 --> 00:46:31,748
I think you're honest.
381
00:46:33,166 --> 00:46:35,752
So, be honest with me.
382
00:46:35,752 --> 00:46:38,213
Why do you think you deserve this?
383
00:46:38,213 --> 00:46:40,089
I hurt people.
384
00:46:40,089 --> 00:46:41,883
Who did you hurt?
385
00:46:41,883 --> 00:46:45,929
She was in love with me. I ruined everything.
386
00:46:45,929 --> 00:46:47,680
What did you do?
387
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:52,268
I terrorized her. I held her captive with my sickness...
388
00:46:52,268 --> 00:46:54,979
I don't want to hear another word about her.
389
00:46:54,979 --> 00:46:57,482
Tell me what's wrong with you.
390
00:46:58,107 --> 00:47:00,527
I'm a waste.
391
00:47:01,611 --> 00:47:08,660
I'm a waste of intellect, I'm a waste of space, I'm a waste of potential.
392
00:47:08,660 --> 00:47:15,124
I consume, I eat images, words, sounds.
393
00:47:15,124 --> 00:47:19,379
I take it all in, I internalize it all and I do nothing with it.
394
00:47:19,379 --> 00:47:22,048
I was raised from birth with the literary worship
395
00:47:22,048 --> 00:47:25,051
I have the fucking recitations tattooed on my brain.
396
00:47:25,051 --> 00:47:28,805
I have an entire library of memories collecting dust.
397
00:47:28,805 --> 00:47:32,433
Every film, every book, every album. Every night out,
398
00:47:32,433 --> 00:47:35,603
every drink, every line. It never fades.
399
00:47:35,603 --> 00:47:40,984
It lives as a reminder of what I'm carrying around and won't ever use.
400
00:47:40,984 --> 00:47:46,489
Privileged, and equipped, but completely useless and impotent.
401
00:47:46,489 --> 00:47:51,369
So take that gun out of your purse, put it in my mouth, and free up the space.
402
00:47:51,369 --> 00:47:56,332
Please. I am fucking begging you for what I deserve.
403
00:47:59,127 --> 00:48:01,045
No.
404
00:48:01,838 --> 00:48:04,048
Please.
405
00:48:06,593 --> 00:48:08,261
Say it now.
406
00:48:08,261 --> 00:48:10,346
Say it now that this gun is in your face.
407
00:48:10,346 --> 00:48:13,099
Tell me you want to die. I don't believe you.
408
00:48:13,099 --> 00:48:15,059
You need to pull that trigger.
409
00:48:16,311 --> 00:48:19,397
You couldn't. You don't want it.
410
00:48:19,397 --> 00:48:20,940
Try me.
411
00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:25,111
No.
412
00:48:26,112 --> 00:48:27,113
Please.
413
00:48:28,740 --> 00:48:29,741
Please.
414
00:48:31,951 --> 00:48:32,952
Please.
415
00:48:49,260 --> 00:48:50,845
(phone buzzing)
416
00:48:55,892 --> 00:48:57,769
Hey.
417
00:49:03,399 --> 00:49:05,526
Yeah, I'm
418
00:49:08,112 --> 00:49:12,950
Yeah, I'm sorry it's been awhile. I just haven't had that much to say.
419
00:49:13,201 --> 00:49:26,756
(cacophony of unmelodic sound)
420
00:49:55,368 --> 00:50:00,581
People say men of this generation are fucked up because we didn't go to war.
421
00:50:00,581 --> 00:50:02,166
Most of us, anyway.
422
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:09,465
That we lack some sort of unifying, generational conflict to take part in together.
423
00:50:09,465 --> 00:50:14,554
Instead, we grew up with endless, secret, shameful wars.
424
00:50:14,554 --> 00:50:24,647
Watching the bottom ten percent of our high school home rooms
get sucked up by ROTC recruiters primsing some kind of direction.
425
00:50:24,647 --> 00:50:27,775
And they didn't eve have the satisfaction of righteousness.
426
00:50:27,775 --> 00:50:32,822
I'd rather turn myself into a monster than let anyone else do it for me.
427
00:50:32,822 --> 00:50:34,782
Of course that assumes that I'm a man at all.
428
00:50:34,782 --> 00:50:38,202
A man has a job. A man has a purpose.
- I couldn't convince myself.
429
00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:41,914
A man has a bedframe.
- I couldn't convince myself that I wasn't in for decades of heartbreak.
430
00:50:41,914 --> 00:50:44,000
So I locked myself away.
- So I locked myself away
431
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:47,253
to make sure I didn't hurt anyone but myself.
- I locked myself away to make sure I didn't hurt anyone but myself.
432
00:50:47,253 --> 00:50:50,214
Reduced my existence to transaction, and consuption.
433
00:50:50,214 --> 00:50:53,342
Creation seems farther away every day.
434
00:51:04,187 --> 00:51:06,230
I wake up in the morning now.
435
00:51:08,107 --> 00:51:14,739
It's gray. My brain picks at scabs.
436
00:51:19,494 --> 00:51:22,121
I wish it would rain.
437
00:51:26,751 --> 00:51:29,837
Losing all sense of time.
438
00:51:35,426 --> 00:51:38,346
Drugs help keep the time, at least.
439
00:51:38,346 --> 00:51:42,517
Time since the last line, time til the next one.
440
00:51:42,517 --> 00:51:46,562
Do not exceed four doeses within twenty four hours.
441
00:51:46,562 --> 00:51:50,149
Now it's just this continuum.
442
00:51:51,609 --> 00:51:55,029
[Distorted Music]
443
00:51:55,029 --> 00:51:56,906
I wish it would rain.
444
00:52:01,536 --> 00:52:04,789
If it would rain I could believe that something might change.
445
00:52:08,376 --> 00:52:13,673
(electronic manipulation of "If it would rain I could believe that something might change")
446
00:52:47,748 --> 00:52:51,586
[Dark, Ominous Music]
447
00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:10,605
(whirling distortion)
448
00:53:47,475 --> 00:53:49,477
(distorted noise ceases)
449
00:53:50,061 --> 00:53:53,814
[score]
450
00:53:53,814 --> 00:53:57,902
(cables skittering)
451
00:54:24,971 --> 00:54:26,180
Hey.
452
00:54:26,180 --> 00:54:27,223
Jesus.
453
00:54:27,223 --> 00:54:28,975
I need to talk to you.
- No shit.
454
00:54:28,975 --> 00:54:30,768
Why did you say "no shit"?
455
00:54:30,768 --> 00:54:33,104
Because of the way you stormed in and stared at me. What--
456
00:54:33,104 --> 00:54:34,981
Charlie.
- Who?
457
00:54:34,981 --> 00:54:38,526
She works here. Shoulder length dark hair,
pouty lips she - she keeps a gun in her purse.
458
00:54:38,526 --> 00:54:40,528
You know it's not even real.
459
00:54:40,528 --> 00:54:41,404
Well, where is she?
460
00:54:41,445 --> 00:54:42,780
Fuck if I know.
461
00:54:43,823 --> 00:54:47,201
(music escalates)
462
00:55:06,721 --> 00:55:09,015
(pained cry)
463
00:55:43,632 --> 00:55:51,807
[Distorted Percussive Music]
464
00:57:05,047 --> 00:57:37,580
(mumbled ramblings)
465
00:57:57,474 --> 00:58:30,549
(silent)
466
00:58:30,549 --> 00:58:39,475
[score]
467
00:59:44,790 --> 00:59:47,167
(blast of distorted noise)
468
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:36,800
(coughing, gagging)
469
01:01:14,713 --> 01:01:19,051
This is where he saw you.
470
01:01:19,051 --> 01:01:21,387
From over there?
471
01:01:24,348 --> 01:01:26,725
What was he looking at?
472
01:01:26,725 --> 01:01:28,560
He was watching us.
473
01:01:29,728 --> 01:01:31,647
What did he see?
- What did he see?
474
01:01:32,356 --> 01:01:33,649
Angry.
475
01:01:33,649 --> 01:01:35,359
Sad and tired.
- We don't know where he came from.
476
01:01:35,359 --> 01:01:37,194
We don't know why he's there.
477
01:01:38,529 --> 01:01:40,447
Do we want to?
478
01:01:47,246 --> 01:01:49,289
Sick.
- Sick.
479
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:53,710
Angry. Pissy.
480
01:01:55,003 --> 01:01:59,174
Entitled.
- Entitled. To something that never came.
481
01:01:59,174 --> 01:02:01,343
It probably wants this.
482
01:02:01,343 --> 01:02:03,804
Do you think this is helpful?
483
01:02:03,804 --> 01:02:06,432
I don't know.
484
01:02:07,641 --> 01:02:12,187
(guitar screeching)
485
01:03:23,717 --> 01:03:31,725
[Thrumming Ominous Music]
486
01:04:30,367 --> 01:04:31,743
(snort)
487
01:04:35,163 --> 01:04:39,793
I wonder how many people died so I can consume these drugs.
488
01:04:44,214 --> 01:04:48,677
No ethical consumption under capitalism.
- You know what they say, there's no ethical consumption under capitalism.
489
01:04:48,677 --> 01:04:51,930
No, don't let yourself off the hook, you're creating the demand.
- I'm creating the demand.
490
01:04:51,930 --> 01:04:56,226
(monologue trails off beneath feedback)
491
01:05:06,111 --> 01:05:08,780
...all of our names are on the explosives.
492
01:05:08,780 --> 01:05:10,741
(sniffle)
493
01:05:12,784 --> 01:05:14,578
We're a nation of murderers.
494
01:05:14,578 --> 01:05:17,164
Our whims and impusles dictate the course of history.
495
01:05:17,164 --> 01:05:18,957
The fate of billions
496
01:05:19,499 --> 01:05:22,002
[score]
497
01:05:54,159 --> 01:05:57,371
Fuck.
498
01:06:08,256 --> 01:06:10,425
I've got money.
499
01:06:10,425 --> 01:06:13,887
I can buy whatever I want.
- I've got money. I can buy whatever I want.
500
01:06:13,887 --> 01:06:19,643
The righteous thing to do would be to give it all away.
- The righteous thing to do would be to give every penny to charity.
501
01:06:19,643 --> 01:06:24,106
Every penny. I should look into it.
- I should look into it.
502
01:06:31,446 --> 01:06:35,909
I'm the antoagonist of somebody else's fantasy.
- I'm the antoagonist of someone else's worst imaginings.
503
01:06:36,535 --> 01:06:40,288
The ultimate drain on society.
- The ultimate drain on society.
504
01:06:40,831 --> 01:06:42,958
Parasitic. Leech.
- A leech.
505
01:06:44,251 --> 01:06:47,838
Dictating the subjugation of others to fulfill my own diseased fantasies.
506
01:06:47,838 --> 01:06:51,633
Dictating the subjugation of others to fulfill my own diseased fantasies.
507
01:06:51,633 --> 01:06:59,725
But I can't help it. I was brought up to believe
508
01:07:01,685 --> 01:07:03,979
in a loftier fulfillment.
509
01:07:11,945 --> 01:07:16,825
I was raised to live for art.
510
01:07:59,159 --> 01:08:03,830
(pained gasp)
511
01:08:03,830 --> 01:08:05,624
Fuck.
512
01:08:07,375 --> 01:08:09,920
Fuck. Oh, fuck.
513
01:08:56,842 --> 01:09:00,512
Burnt offerings.
514
01:09:02,806 --> 01:09:04,850
(Entity noises)
515
01:09:16,152 --> 01:09:18,738
I was beginning to think you didn't care.
516
01:12:28,261 --> 01:12:37,812
(electronic hiss)
517
01:14:38,892 --> 01:14:54,949
[Rhythmic Beat]
34322
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