Original subtitles

- ♪ Ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Ooh

♪ Baby, I don't wanna let you go ♪

♪ I wanna pull you close

- ♪ Don't say "you are my type" ♪

♪ I can see it in your eyes

♪ Pull me closer

- Mwah. I love you.

♪

- Oh, it's my partner in crime.

- Wow, you look like you're gonna get ready to jump

on somebody's bones at a black-tie gala.

Very easy access here. - Did we have fun last night?

We had so much fun last night. - We had so much fun.

Ahh!

- Ah-ah-ah-ah. - I got you.

- Ah! - Whoo!

- Oh, rich!

- Literally, 3:00 in the morning,

I laughed out loud by myself in bed thinking about you.

It was--I mean-- - It was a fun night.

I literally peed in my pants.

- Oh, my God.

- Aah! - Whoo!

- That's how you do it.

This morning, I woke up, I walked into the kitchen,

and I saw Michael's mom,

and I had, like, the walk-of-shame moment.

It was funny.

Oh, so fun.

Oh, my God.

- This is our first time, obviously, ever doing this.

For some reason, it feels very natural.

Don't you feel like that?

- Well, you know what? Yes, it does, but for me,

Kenya and I just weren't, like, really jelling the way

I was with everyone else.

And I feel like sometimes she's saying

certain things to make me react.

So, you know, I'm doing-- which is so unlike me,

but it's good, it's working-- I'm zipping it.

When she says something a little negative,

I just, you know--

I've worked on myself, and I've come a long way.

I mean, ask Andy Cohen, when he met me 20 years ago.

I've done a complete 180.

- You're my New York sister. - Okay, good.

- My little partner in crime.

We have more fun than everybody else.

- I know we do. Shh. Don't tell anybody.

I'm a softer, nicer, warmer, more caring person.

- I am! -

- Why are you laughing?

- Housewives in the island, baby!

♪ Housewives in the island, baby ♪

♪ So let the party start

♪ Them women beautiful as ever ♪

♪ The sun is hot, boy

♪ Are you ready? Ha ♪

♪ To move your body

♪ When the Caribbean rhythm touches ♪

♪ Ooh, that make ya go crazy

♪ Fever

♪ Feel it

♪ Can you feel the island fever? ♪

♪ Feel it, mon

♪ Fever

- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Come on

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah

♪

- Oh, my God. What a mess.

We're on day five at the moment.

It feels like we're on, like, day 30.

Oh, mate, look at this.

- Here, I'll take this stuff out,

and then we'll vacuum up all the feathers.

And then I'm gonna drop off

the itineraries for the morning.

But basically breakfast is gonna be pretty relaxed.

And then Kenya's organized a yacht day,

so they're all gonna be going out on a boat,

and then it gives us some time to reset the villa

and make sure everything's ready,

because we have a big dinner tonight.

- T, bring your sexy game. - Okay.

- This is a "Gone with the Wind"

fabulous yacht party.

- Oh, I love it! - Twirl, honey, twirl!

- Twirl. Twirl. - Yeah! Teresa, you got it!

- This fruit salad is so good.

- Oh, my God, with the muffins.

I can't with the muffins.

- I know, I eat one every single day.

- So do I.

- But I feel like I need a carb,

because I'm not eating that many.

I can't wait for you to cook tonight,

'cause I really want some, like, of your kind of food.

- All right, we're leaving. Bye.

♪

- Let's go, girls. Cynthia.

- Yes, ma'am. I'm coming. - You coming?

♪

- It smells like someone's covering up poo smell in here.

- Like what?

- Like someone's covering up poo.

- All right. Off we go.

♪

- So why do we all look so great

except one person doesn't fit in?

- Ramona. - Yes. Like--

- She looks like she's going to a rock-and-roll concert.

- Like, what the hell? - Oh, you mean her outfit?

- We always have to look glam on a yacht, don't we, darling?

- I love to travel dressed.

I mean, that's my thing. - Me too.

It's so unsophisticated to get on the plane

with, like, flip-flops on and stuff.

Oh, I can't stand it. - And shorts and leggings and--

- That drives me crazy. - I can't stand it.

- I know. - Like, have a polished look.

- Elegance is learned.

- My nanny embarrassed me so much.

We were flying private.

And, you know, it was just, like, what the hell?

You look crazy.

Flip-flops and, like, big logo shirts,

you know? - Right.

- I had to write a whole travel thing.

- I didn't know there was a special attire

for a nanny to wear on a private jet.

- And also, here is an outfit.

- This is honestly the most unrelatable conversation

I've ever had, and I'm from Beverly Hills.

- No excuse not to look cute, you know?

- ♪ I need you, baby

♪

- A little bit cloudy today.

- Oh, yeah. - It might rain.

- Is there rain in the forecast?

- Are y'all ready?

- Whoo! Yes. - I'm ready!

- ♪ Anytime you need somebody ♪

- This is the yacht!

- Awesome! - Gorgeous!

- Yeah! - Yeah!

- 80 foot. The bigger, the better sometimes.

- Hey, ladies. Good to see you. - Awesome.

- Let the fun begin! - Yeah.

I love the way you roll.

- It's going to be a rich-bitch yacht day.

Watch this step, guys.

Ooh!

- A rich bitch is a girl who has saved a couple of coins,

and she can sprinkle them around...

Bitches, you better turn all the way up.

And believes in self-care.

Self-care in this instance is a yacht.

- Oh, here come the margaritas.

- This is some music-video

- Margarita? - Yes, please.

- Melissa?

- Here's to Kenya for bringing us here. Yay.

Yay!

♪

- Ugh. Damn.

- Oh,

Is that a paparazzi taking a picture of my ass?

- Yes. - I will drop dead.

I'm sure some people like paparazzi following you,

but I personally don't like the idea of someone

watching me shove a cheeseburger in my face.

- Honey, I have already posted my photos, okay?

Check my Instagram, thekenyamoore.

- He's got our whole life on camera right now.

- We're gonna give him something to talk about.

- We are? Spread your legs. Spread your legs. Ready?

- Wait. Luann, will you hold my drink?

- Kyle!

Wait, no, you're blocking my shot.

- I was trying to open your legs.

- Tits and ass.

- Kyle, you're such a fame whore.

- I mean, if they're gonna be there...

- It's very distracting to have paparazzi there.

- I know, right?

- Is it raining?

- Yeah, we're going right into the clouds.

- Oh, my God, should we go down?

- Let's go down, just in case.

- Let's go find out if the food--

I think the food might be ready.

- I love the rain.

- Yeah, it feels good.

- You know what? It's filling up my margarita.

God is my bartender.

- I think maybe we should go down and have lunch, Kyle.

What do you think?

It's pouring. Everybody's downstairs.

- They left us? Okay, fine.

- Oh, look how pretty. Is it still raining up there?

- Yeah, it's raining for real. - Oh, wow, it's raining hard.

- Are you kidding me? This is nothing

compared to our trip in Cartagena.

It was like the "Titanic."

Missing, you know, Leonardo DiCaprio, of course.

- Cartagena? I almost died.

- Wow, look behind you. - Whoa!

Get on the floor!

- Aah! -

- I can't swim.

- I'm gonna die in here.

I'm very excited about the food menu.

I don't know which I want to eat first.

- Thank you, miss.

- No, squash soup. Oh, my God. So good.

- Aah! - Easy.

- Whoa!

- Is it possible to get two more margaritas, please?

- Best menu of the trip so far. Thank you.

- This is delicious.

Everything you chose is amazing.

- Good.

- I don't want to overwhelm you.

You've been very good. I have the Clase Azul.

I just want to put another shot in here.

- I have a feeling that Ramona has been called out

for talking to people, because she's so like,

"I don't want to overwhelm you."

- I learned that from TV. I saw myself, and I go,

"Oh, my God, I look so rude." - I can totally tell.

The show does teach you things about yourself.

- Well, you become more self-aware. Absolutely.

- Well, that has not always been the case.

- That's the thing.

- She's notorious for treating the staff badly.

- That is not true. Don't make up a rumor.

That's a lie.

- I'm not making up [bleep], Ramona.

- You're accusing me of something.

- I'm not accusing you of anything.

You're notoriously rude to the people in the house.

- No, I'm not. - Okay, whatever.

- All right, allow her to respond.

- And you've gotten better at it.

I was gonna give you a compliment.

- Sometimes I go into my own world.

- Were you an only child?

- No, I was the eldest of four. But I was on my own island.

Yes, my mother gave me lots of love.

But she actually said that all of us were mistakes.

- That is horrible. - It's terrible.

- Yeah, but my mother has never looked me

in my eye my entire life

or even acknowledged me being in a room.

- Are you--

- And I don't speak to people like that.

- My mom raised us like that since we were little.

- Yes. - We'd go into a store,

you try on clothes. You have to hang up

every single thing. - Stressed out, Ramona?

- We had to make our own beds. We had to wash our own cars.

- You giving me the crazy eyes?

- Melissa.

- She's giving me some eyeball--crazy eyes.

- Please respect everyone when they're talking.

- Hold on. I'm talking now. - Sorry.

I heard your story. you just told it. But--

- My point is, is that-- - Are you doing the Ramona?

You heard the story before? - It's not that serious.

- Today's not the first time that that has happened.

Okay? We all talk over each other.

And there's times when I'm trying to say something

and literally have to be like, "Hey, can I say something?"

- Yeah, it is hard to get a word in.

- "Can I say something?"

Can't tell you how many times I started a conversation

and someone just goes, "Oh, well, actually, you know,

when I was a little girl, I was--"

And I'm like, you didn't hear me talking?

- Who? - It doesn't matter.

- It does. It kind of does.

- Obviously, we have all done it.

So just be aware. I've seen several people be interrupted.

- I don't even know who's mad at who right now.

- I think we can just be al little more mindful,

because I actually want to hear what everyone has to say.

- Girls, I want to set the tone for Kenya's yacht party

as fun, not serious.

This is feeling very serious for a yacht party.

Wow, Cynthia's, like, more serious than I imagined.

- Guys, it's sunny! Whoo! - Sunny!

- Sun coming out?

- I don't know. - I'm serious sometimes, too.

Just not on a girls' trip in Turks and Caicos.

I think it's fair to say we all need self-awareness

that we are all mother attention whores.

- Oh, I'm not--never been called an attention whore.

- Can you--you always take it so seriously!

- After five days, you probably realize, like,

"Oh, Cynthia probably isn't one jumping for the spotlight."

- You know, I receive her. I do.

I totally receive her seriousness.

♪

You got it? Yeah. I received it.

♪

- She is rude as hell.

Be respectful when somebody's talking.

If I can just get through these last three days

and go home, child--

Like, what in the world?

♪

♪

- Cynthia, is everything okay?

- We're good. We're good.

- Oh, my God, I have a running joke about that, by the way,

because when Erika's pissed and when we say,

"How's everything," she goes, "We're good."

- - We are--we are good.

- Listen, I know that "we're good"

means we are not good at all.

But I don't want to get into this,

so I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut,

because I want to enjoy my time right now.

- Is that a boat full of guys? - Holy crap!

There is a boat full of men.

Whoo!

- I never saw so many men!

- Oh, my God!

Ramona, bend over and grab your ankles!

- I haven't seen so many men since COVID!

Whoo!

- Who's single over there?

We need two single men!

No, three single men!

- Turtle Time!

I don't know if I'm a pro at flirting,

but I know how to be engaging, and men like the attention.

I'm just very outgoing and friendly,

and people respond to that.

- Actually, I do have a game.

- Perfect. - What are we playing?

- We have all said

some shady things about each other...

on our own shows.

And I had my little assistant do some research...

- Uh-oh.

- And got me some cards of things

that we have said on our respective shows

that could be considered as quite shady.

- Okay. -

- Oh, Kenya, you know this is gonna do nothing

but make us all bark at each other.

- I think this is a way for people to open up

and just have a little fun.

- You ain't tricking nobody. I know where this is going.

I'm ready. Stir that pot.

Stir that pot. I already know.

- The game is called "Who Said That?"

So each of you will pull a card,

and you will read the statement on the card.

Whoever has the card,

it's up to them to try to figure out who said that.

Then they will guess, and if they get it wrong,

we'll go, "Okay, who actually said it?"

That person will then take the floor

and say why they said it and to whom were they speaking.

- I love this game. So cool! - Okay?

Who wants to go first? - I'll go.

- Cynthia wants to go. - All right. Here we go.

"I tried for years to be able to trust,

"but what girlfriend calls up your fiancé's ex-girlfriends

"asking for information?

"She should focus more on her life than on my life.

Why don't you get a life for yourself?"

Ooh, I may need some help.

My guess is that Ramona said it to Luann.

- Anyone want to cop to this?

- I think it's the LA show.

- I know! I think it was--

- Who said that?

- Luann about Ramona.

- Luann said it.

- I was right.

- So it's Ramona, who called Tom's ex-girlfriends.

- Oh, yeah. Because he--

she only met him for three months,

and he sent beautiful Cartier bracelets

to all three of his girlfriends besides her.

And I go, "This is not good."

- So what? He married her. - That's right.

It's not whether or Tom gifted a girl something.

The point is that Ramona called to try to dig up information

about Tom to hurt me.

In retrospect, was Ramona wrong about Tom?

No.

But it was wrong to do what she did.

- Guys are dogs.

Like, my brother was a dog until he met Melissa.

- Well, this guy was a dog even when he married her, okay?

- She's not wrong. But who digs like that?

- You shouldn't have did that. You shouldn't have did that.

- He was three other girls.

And when she met him-- - No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. We're not gonna do that.

No. No, ma'am. No. We're not doing that.

- I am a girl's girl,

and I'll protect any one of you.

- No, you're not. - Bitch, I'm dead.

- Don't laugh, Kenya. It's so true.

Yeah, I am.

- Bitch, I'm dead!

- She took Tom away from another girl.

- That hurts her. She still loves him.

- Well, she him the first night she met him.

- Wait a second.

What did you just say?

You just said that I who?

- You went to bed with him the first night you met him.

- That's right. And that's my prerogative.

- And you are--

- But is it for you to kiss and tell,

or is it for me to kiss and tell?

Not for you.

- Well, whatever, we're on a reality show. Hello!

- You will never, ever change.

- Why, what's wrong with you on the first night?

- You will never change.

- Why would you care?

Own it! - Own what?

- Own that you him the first night.

- And I married him, too! Yes, I did!

- And he also broke her heart. - He everybody.

He everybody. - Don't say that! It hurts her!

- She's a girl's girl.

- You're a girl's girl?

- Yeah, I warned you.

I warned you against Tom. - No, you didn't!

- She also got her heart broken.

- You just threw her under the bus.

- But, Ramona--Ramona.

You're making a show, but, honestly, it broke her heart.

Like, we don't add salt to the wound.

- Kyle, don't tell her any of your secrets.

Melissa, don't tell her any of your secrets.

- That's not a girl's girl.

- She'll throw you under the bus.

To me, that's not a friend. I don't play like that.

You know, there's certain boundaries you don't cross.

And when you do, sleep with the horse's head.

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

- Let me ask you a question. - Oh, my God.

- How many times have you had sex

with people on the first date? - Never.

- Oh, my gosh.

So now you're holier than thou?

- I don't give a I want to do that.

I want to be like her. That's what I'm trying to say.

I want to be like her.

I want to embrace my sexuality. I want to have so much sex.

- Ramona loves to throw out little jabs

and then wants everything to be okay and laugh it off.

No, you're leaving behind a trail of hurt feelings.

- I want to have sex. - She's saying it 'cause

she wants to be like you and raise her sexuality.

- Yes. - That's a crock of

- Oh,

- Aah!

- Who the do you think you are, Ramona?

- I don't know.

- You don't talk to me like that.

You called me a bitch the first time that we met,

and now you're trying to come for me on my boat?

Do you want your ass thrown over the water?

- Fine. Throw me overboard. - What's wrong with you?

You're a asshole.

- And I've been so good. - You want to be queen.

You will never be queen, because you act

like a peasant. - I don't want to be a queen.

- We don't need you here.

You have insulted every single person here.

- I didn't insult everybody. - Teresa, did she insult you?

- Yeah, she did. - Cynthia, did she insult you?

- Um, let me get back to you. - Okay. Who did she insult?

- Try and keep it moving. - No, we're not,

because what you're not gonna do is disrespect me--

- You're pointing your fingers at me.

- Yes, I'm pointing my fingers at you!

- I had too much tequila.

- If you want respect...

- Oh, my God! - Aah!

- You have to give respect!

- You want to be queen. You will never be queen,

because you act like a peasant!

- Oh, you.

- Who the do you think you are, Ramona?

- I don't know.

- You don't talk to me like that.

- I had too much tequila. - If you want respect...

- Oh, my God! - Aah!

- You have to give respect.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okay.

- You are extremely disrespectful.

You're not gonna do that to me. Talk to me. Look at me.

- Okay. Well, we're not gonna touch each other.

- No. Look at me. - She just, like, pushed me.

- Kenya can go from zero to 100 very quickly.

I don't think Kenya needs to go as far as she goes.

- We don't-- - She's a mess!

- I've only seen this sweet side of Kenya.

So now I'm starting to see

the side that people kind of warned me about.

- I don't know what you have heard about me,

but everything is true, bitch.

- I apologize for disrespecting you.

- Okay. Okay, we're gonna start from scratch.

- I'm not gonna stand for her keep disrespecting Luann.

I'm not standing for that.

- Can we all start from scratch?

- All right, whatever.

- You are a peasant trying to be a queen.

- I'm never a queen. - Bitch, I'm an icon.

- I'm not a peasant. - I'm an icon.

- I'm a very independent, successful woman.

- You need to be cleaning this boat.

- Okay, no, no, no. We're not gonna do--

You guys, we can't do that. - Kenya.

- Oh, no, no, no, first of all,

I don't care how we're not getting along.

you ain't snatching nothin' out of my hand.

And then who calls somebody a peasant?

I don't know, I think I'd rather be called a bitch

than a peasant.

That hit different.

- You're not gonna speak to me that way.

I made that clear the first time I--

- I didn't do anything. - Kenya, she's got it, babe.

- No, she doesn't have it. - She has. She has it.

- Just say "I'm sorry." Just say, "I'm sorry. I was wrong."

- She got it. Stop. - No.

- You're going too far with it.

- I am so sorry I pushed everyone's buttons.

I know--I can't drink anymore.

Don't spill the drinks. - You getting turned up?

- You have no decorum.

- You have a thing for me, and I don't know why, and--

- You came for me first.

- I did not come for you. - And I graciously said,

"You know what? I'm going to give you another chance"...

- You're so wrong.

- Because I don't fall for those games.

I'm not from New York, honey. This is the Dirty South, okay?

- Whatever. - Ugh. Let me stop.

- It makes me sad 'cause I'm really a great girlfriend.

- It's too much. - We'll turn the boat around.

- I can't put up with this. - Why are they so mean to me?

- Now you're a victim? Now you're a victim.

- Do you not see when you said "you"?

- Please.

- And it was "you" as, like, friendly.

Not "

She's not gonna disrespect me to my face.

Bitch.

I let it go the first time.

I kept my cool on the plane ride here.

But Ramona got under my skin today.

The way she's speaking to me, it's a trigger for me.

Don't let her ruin the-- - I'm not. I'm not.

- You can't kick her off the boat.

- Don't tell me what I can't do.

- Well, I'm not telling you what you can and cannot do,

but I don't think it's the right decision

to kick her off the boat.

- My husband was dismissive and just nasty

in that same way,

and I didn't stand up for myself.

I just can't emotionally go through that anymore.

She can take her ass in this thing.

- You know what the worst part is? Listen--

- And she did disrespect you, and you didn't even

say anything when I called her out about it.

- When did she disrespect me? - Anyway, it doesn't matter.

- No, no, no, no, tell me when she disrespected me.

- I don't remember. I can't fight everybody's battles.

- Like, you don't have to fight my battles.

I do not remember her disrespecting me.

Did she come for me and I forgot?

I don't remember a big blowup.

Refresh my memory, child, 'cause I don't remember.

- Obviously we didn't come here

to hear Ramona talk the whole time.

So I was getting ready to say something,

after she had talked for three hours,

and she was like, "I'm speaking!" I'm like...

- No! Yeah, she did say that. - Yes!

You know, and just kind of snapped at me.

- Yeah, she was rude to you.

- So I can't remember. Okay?

And now you gonna be mad at me about it?

Girl, bye.

- Is she okay? - She's fine.

- She's probably a little shaken up.

- I'm just feeling a little unhappy

that everyone's, like, feeling

- Yeah, the "you" is, like--that's first of all.

- Because she's been going after me for, like, seven days.

It's like, she's like-- "Eh! Eh!"

Okay, when I get drunk, I'm more like...

So point is, I've been so careful with frickin' Kenya.

I've been walking on, like...

- Eggshells? - Eggshells.

♪ Eggshells, Kenya

- Melissa, I can't help it.

I know everyone's upset, but she's making me laugh.

Is she rude sometimes? Yes!

Is she inappropriate? Absolutely.

But am I entertained? One million percent.

- Why does she always attack me?

- She wasn't attacking you.

- We're gonna figure this out. Hold on.

- On the plane, she's like, boom, boom, boom.

- You said stuff, too.

- You good? - Yeah, I'm good.

- Okay. Oh, you're--okay.

- Tell you, she better not say a word to me.

- I explained to her it was the "you"

that was the thing. - Yes.

Everything else was fine. - I said that.

- I can take anything. I fight with my words.

- Can I say this one little thing?

You're very strong.

You're very domineering.

No, no. You are.

- What does that have to do with anything?

- I'm just telling you how she's reacting.

She was nervous or whatever. But we can't--

- Now she's the aggressor, and somehow I react

because you say such vile things to my face.

- That's why I'm not arguing with you, because--at all.

- And now all of a sudden, you're scared?

- So you're gonna go down, and you're going to apologize.

- Who do I apologize to?

- Luann and Kenya

for talking about Luann's sex life

and saying "you" to Kenya on this beautiful day.

- But Luann admits it. - It doesn't matter!

It's not your place!

- But why can't she admit she likes to have sex?

- Dealing with Ramona is like dealing with a child.

- I would like to do that. I want to be like Luann.

- I feel like you do, and you're not telling the truth.

- No, I don't.

- I'm trying to reason with this woman.

But I'm clearly losing that battle.

- One year after being divorced from my ex-husband,

I had two simultaneous-- two--two relationships--

- Simultaneous. - Simultan-ous. I can't talk.

- Simultaneous. - I'm drunk.

I had two relationships back-to-back. One guy died.

And I loved him to-- like, I loved him.

- He died. - He died.

- He died on me! What happened?

Mark, how could you die on me?

- Ramona acts crazy.

- I don't think it's an act.

- Or whatever. She shows her ass.

She apologizes, and she just does it again.

- She doesn't care. - Over and over.

- That's disrespectful.

- I want her to stop putting Luann down.

- Teresa, I understand what you're saying,

but they have history together.

- Maybe she needs an eye-opener.

- When we leave on Sunday,

we don't have to see Ramona again. She does.

- That's right. I'm so glad that you got to see

what I have to go through.

- Luann let her get away with this for so long

that Ramona thinks she can just do whatever she wants.

Luann has a high tolerance. Me, not so much.

- Come on, let's go up to the front of the boat.

- Kyle and Ramona are coming. Let's see.

- I don't want her to say anything to me.

- I promise you-- - Well, I said--

- It's not the right time. - All right.

- She better not come anywhere near me, I'll tell you that.

- I thought she wanted to talk to her.

♪

- She better not come anywhere neat me, I'll tell you that.

♪

- Wow, it's windy here. - I know.

You guys good?

- I thought she wanted to talk to her.

- Why's it so windy? - But now Kenya left.

- Yeah, I know. - Right.

- Don't try to talk to Kenya on this boat today.

- I'm not. I'm not going to.

- Do you want to say anything to Luann?

Like, "I'm sorry about that"?

- I feel like the vibe is kind of off right now, so...

- Yeah, we're gonna fix it.

- I didn't mean to insult you.

I would love to be sexually as free as you.

Like, you are, like, a total sensual woman.

And I want to be more like you, so I'm kind of jealous.

I'm jealous.

I want to be like you. I do.

I'm jealous of your sexuality and sensuality.

- Okay. - I am.

- But, you know-- - I want to be like you...

- And if you want-- - So sensual and sexual.

- Okay, well, thank you for-- - Give it to me.

- Thank you for the compliment.

And the point is, is that, listen, this is an old story.

That happened. I forgave you.

I moved on, because, you know, that's what life is about.

You try to forgive people.

You try to see the best in people.

I was very upset for you. - Oh, my God! I'm done!

I'm done.

Can't teach an old dog new tricks.

I just need a second to pull it together.

- You still didn't own that you were a terrible friend

to her at the time.

You were very wrong, and you didn't own that just now.

You're making excuses.

You're saying she's very sexual.

- I love making excuses. It's such a bad thing.

- I know. You got to stop doing that.

You need to own the fact that you were a friend.

But, Ramona, guess what.

You might want to change now. You might want to.

But you have to make people believe that.

- And you can't just say it. You have to want to do it.

And then you have to do it.

- Ramona doesn't really get messy.

But today she's messy.

And drinking doesn't help.

- Luann.

- So, unfortunately,

I don't think I'm gonna get a real apology from Ramona.

And this is probably the best I'm gonna get.

I feel sorry for her. This is why--

- I don't feel sorry for her because she's aggressive.

- She knows exactly what she's doing.

- I feel sad for her 'cause she hasn't grown as a person.

- She knows exactly what she's doing.

- All right. So let's play a different game.

- I can jump from upstairs?

I need to jump off the top of the boat.

- I was just about to say.

- Whoo! This feels kind of high right here.

- Oh, my God, look at her. - All right, Luann.

- Whoo!

♪

- They jumped in the water, these girls.

- Our girls? Luann, how is it?

I want to jump in, too,

but I got to change my bathing suit.

- Can you touch the ground?

- Housewives are awesome at having a good time.

We're finally enjoying ourselves.

And that's what we do best.

- So I wanted to do a TikTok. - That would be cute.

- I was gonna ask you to help me with that.

- I could definitely help you do that.

- All right, let me get my phone.

- This is my day. This is going to be a fun day.

- To be a true Housewife,

you have to know conflict resolution.

- I think the ultimate rule on being a Housewife

is you can't let these bitches get you down.

- Oh! Oh! Outfit change!

- Yes! - Okay, Miss Thing!

- I love how everyone brought multiple bathing suits.

Like, did I miss the memo? Just jump, Kyle.

- I will.

- 'Cause it's shallow, right? - Yeah, let's go--

- Yeah, let's do that. That'll be great. Thank you.

- Look at the dolphin.

- Oh, my God! - Is that a shark?

- It's a dolphin. - Kenya, a dolphin!

Kenya, a dolphin! - You were just in this water!

- I would have just died!

You would have had to save me. Oh, my God, look at it!

Look at it! Look at it! Look at it!

- Let's go. All right.

- Never mind. - Are you crazy?

- Are they gonna be safe?

He's gonna bite them. He's gonna come to you!

- Kyle! We have to go! - Come on.

- We're going in a dinghy? - We're all gonna fit on that?

- I don't appreciate what Ramona did

to ruin my yacht day.

So right now Ramona is in solitary confinement.

She needs to be on this dinghy, away from all of us.

- This is such petty crap. Lighten up.

- Goodbye, Ramona.

- Wait, is Ramona alone?

- Ooh, I'm so excited.

- Wow.

♪

- Wow, this is just amazing.

- Oh, this is so gorgeous. Beautiful, guys.

- Breaking the fourth wall.

I was allowed to come with the crew to the water. Yeah!

- Ramona's in time-out.

- At this point, I'm not really paying attention

to what's going on, 'cause I don't really care.

- Time-outs work sometimes. I used to do it with my kids.

- Let's do a really quick TikTok.

- I got it. Okay, I got the song.

- Okay. Okay, everybody get in line from short to tall.

Kyle in the front.

- What is it, Melissa?

- Da, da, and then you go that way, then da,

and you go to the right.

- I wanted to keep it very basic, so I'm like,

when the person in front of you goes this way, you go that way.

- One by one. You join in. - You go the opposite.

- Yeah, then you go. - No. Opposite.

- Okay, yeah. That way, that way, this way.

- To the right. To the left.

To the left. To the right. To the left.

- Ready. Go ahead. Hit the red button.

♪

- So wait until--no.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

Boom. Boom.

- Everybody was going the same way.

Hands were going up. Arms were reaching out.

- Oh, Lord. No, wait.

- Cynthia just looks like

somebody's grandmother right now.

- Move to the front. - Oh, my gosh.

- I didn't even realize we were doing a TikTok.

- You go this way, I go this way.

This way. - Oh, God.

- Try one more. - One more.

- When's it gonna stop?

- Come on, let's make this bomb.

Come on, guys.

- Last one. - Let's go. Last one.

- ♪ You be saying that you're mine ♪

♪ But you won't show me the love ♪

♪ Never blowing up my line

- The wrong person was in front of me.

Had Melissa been in front of me, I would have killed.

- Hooray!

- I was thrown off, honey. Thrown off.

- I think that was good. - That was the best one.

♪

- Let's go. We ready?

- Thank you so much for everything.

- Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- The food was great. The drinks were great.

- Amazing.

- Aah! [bleep]!

- You guys act like children are falling overboard

when your hats blow off.

- We're having meatballs tonight.

Teresa Giudice is cooking.

It's her night. It's Italian night.

- Can't wait.

- You're my guy? You're my guy.

♪

♪

- I really don't want Ramona helping me make frickin'--

- She wants to help you make meatballs?

- Like, I'm just gonna say, "You know what?

"I'm just gonna make them.

Everybody just get ready and look fabulous."

- She's, like, half in the bag.

- I don't know how it normally is.

I have no idea. - No, normally she can drink,

and she handles her booze,

but she was drinking a lot, you know?

Just, like, plastered. It was like, "Oh, God."

♪

- I'm exhausted from luxuriating.

♪

- Okay, I'm here.

Oh, you did the chicken cutlets?

All right. So I'll make the meatballs first.

Thank you.

I come from an Italian family.

Cooking and sitting at the dinner table together--

that's how we show love.

For my Italian night, like, I want to make them

what I'd normally like on a Sunday dinner.

- That's right. - So I want to make my sauce.

I put in Italian sausage, sweet and hot.

- Sweet and hot. - Gives the sauce great taste.

- Okay, great. - And then add my meatballs.

- What do you want to put in yours?

- Bread crumbs, parsley, you know,

onion, garlic, salt, pepper.

- Okay. - That's it. Yeah.

I wanted to make everyone pasta and meatballs

and chicken Parm.

I'm a talented girl.

This Italian knows how to do a lot of things.

- All right, I'm here in my dress,

'cause I dressed for the night. - Okay.

- Oh, my God, it smells so good.

You got it working, girl.

Yeah. Smells so good.

I almost want it now. Can I--

- It smells so good, doesn't it?

- I want to eat it now.

♪

Am I allowed to have, like, a little taste,

like, before it cooks?

- Teresa, it's your chicken., - She said I could.

- Oh, she can have it. She can have it.

Ramona's--obviously she's still tipsy.

- And then you have to add a little sauce on top.

- It's funny sometimes,

but then after a while, it gets to be annoying.

- Oh. - Okay.

- Bon appetit. - Bon appetit.

- Mmm. - Oh, my God.

- It's really nice. It's nice and light.

- Mmm.

♪

- Ramona, we have hair and makeup waiting for you...

Whenever you're ready.

- Well, I actually told them to show up at 6:00

and told them to text me, and at this point, 7:30,

I don't feel like just doing it.

- So what would you like me to tell them?

Do you not want to do it all? - But they're here.

Then they're gonna charge you anyway.

- They're not gonna charge me, 'cause I had an appointment.

They were supposed to be here at 6:30.

And now I'm past the point.

I think my hair looks fine. How bad does my hair look?

- Actually, there's blue. I'm not even lying.

There's, like, a little blue string in there.

- Fine! Fine!

- Without having the blue hair--

- Fine! I'll get my hair done.

Fine. - Come with me. Let's go.

Let's go. Come on. - Fine.

- So this could go out as soon as everybody

comes down and has a drink. - Exactly. Perfect.

- Yeah, we'll put that all on the table

with the burrata, you know? - Mm-hmm.

- So I'm gonna find out when everybody's almost ready,

so by the time we sit down

and eat the appetizer, we'll have the pasta.

- Okay. - And that's it.

- I think my hair looks good.

Payment.

But why didn't she text me? - You didn't answer my text.

- Oh, show me your text. - Yeah, you didn't answer.

- All right, wait, wait.

Let me look. Where's my phone?

Hi, Emilie. Do you have my phone?

Where's my phone? Where's my phone?

♪ Phone, phone, where's my phone? ♪

♪ Phone, phone

Hey, everyone, did I bring my phone down here?

Mmm. This is so good.

I may need another red wine.

Oh, so good.

I am so hungry tonight,

'cause I couldn't eat last night.

As I'm spitting out my food.

♪

- Let's go.

- Oh! Here's my--Oh, my God. - You got it?

- I forgot I put my purse down.

I think my phone is here.

Yes! See?

♪

- Wow. - Va-va-voom.

- Va-va-va-voom. - Va-va-voom.

- Do you like it?

- I need help with my mic.

I think she put it in my underwear.

This is not a good place.

- Teresa, I think tonight's gonna be wonderful.

I think it's gonna be nice and relaxed,

amazing food--yeah.

- You look beautiful, and I love the red.

- You look stunning. Thank you.

I had a whole issue with-- - No, it's fine.

Kenya just came down. - Ramona had a whole thing

with my makeup artist, and I'm so pissed off.

- Really? - It's like, she knew

that I was waiting to get my makeup done,

so I literally had, like, five minutes.

Like, I started my own,

and then she just finished me up.

Girl, you were supposed to get your glam done

during this time slot,

and now you're over here in my time slot

messing up the whole glam situation.

- Hi, doll. - Hey, babe.

- That's disrespectful.

- Ooh, spicy Italian.

- Hey, I wore red for the meatballs, you know?

- I like it. Let's go out.

- Awesome. I love this part of the house.

I'm so glad we're doing this.

Where do you want us?

- Wherever you want to sit. - This is nice.

- Here you go.

There has been a lot of highs and lows on this trip,

so I'm hoping this dinner will bring everyone together,

and we'll try to all get along.

- Oh, yeah. That's good.

- Hi, ladies.

- Mangiamo tutti insieme.

Let's all eat together.

All right, so I just wanted to say this has been

an amazing trip so far.

It's been lovely to get to know each and every one of you.

Cynthia, you're beautiful inside and out.

Love getting to know you,

and I want to continue our friendship.

Kenya, same thing.

You remind me of me-- like, strong, like a bull.

Definitely connect with you there.

Kyle, you and me are both moms of four daughters.

It's beautiful to get to know you.

I can't wait to come to California

and double-date with you and Mauricio.

- I know! That's gonna be fun.

- Ramona, you're a spitfire.

You do, like, rub us sometimes the wrong way.

But, I mean, to know you is to love you.

And, Luann, you know, I met you a few times,

and I think you're lovely.

You're beautiful. You're so kind and sweet.

And, like, we got to give you more of a backbone, right?

- What do you mean? - Oh, no!

- I got a backbone. - No, no.

- We can't confuse patience with backbone.

- No, meaning, like,

I don't want anybody walking all over you.

That's all I have to say.

- Well, don't worry. I don't let people walk over me.

- Okay. - But I love you

for looking out to me-- - And I have your back.

- Out for me like a sister. - No, and I have your back.

- Look at this.

Does this look like a girl who doesn't have a backbone?

No. I sit up straight and tall.

It's, you know, part of "Chic C'est la Vie."

The little things can take you down,

but it's best to brush them off.

And that's just Ramona. I kind of just brush her off.

- Thank you guys. Salute.

- We love you, Teresa! - Thank you for this!

- Thank you. - To a great Italian dinner.

- Love you guys. - Salut.

- Salute. Salute.

- I heard about Teresa's books,

and I've seen her cooking on Instagram and on the show.

So the fact that we get to taste it firsthand tonight...

- Yes. - Is exciting.

So thank you for that. - Thank you.

- I love that you're eating a good Italian food.

This is how my mother-in-law makes everything.

It's so yummy.

- But I wanted to make a toast to you,

and I wanted to apologize to you for being late,

because I actually wanted to-- - Oh, I don't care.

- Get down in time to see if you needed some help.

- No.

- But, unfortunately,

there was a whole situation with my glam.

Um...

Apparently, Ramona, you and my glam had a whole--

you owed her for her services the other day

or one of her team members.

- No, she showed up late. - And she left.

- I said, "I don't want you."

She was supposed to come at 6:00,

and she showed up at 7:30,

and I said I didn't want to be late for Teresa.

- So you're gonna wash your hair?

- No, 'cause I have to be ready--

Let's come in here and have the conversation, okay?

- Okay. - I am sorry.

But I'm not gonna pay her for tonight

because I can't do my hair now--it's too late.

My glam had nothing to do with your glam.

My girl is Emilie. Your girl's somebody else.

- I know, but Emilie works underneath my glam.

And apparently she was coming to collect from you.

- Yeah, and I paid her. - And she--

Well, she said it was, like, a while.

Like, she basically was in your room.

She said you guys had a whole conversation.

- I said, "Let's discuss this later.

Send me a bill so I can check it."

And then she said, "Well, I don't want to be late for--

I said, "Go to Cynthia."

But instead, she wanted to stay there.

I mean, I'm not--

- No, 'cause she wanted to get her money.

Like, you know how this works for glam.

It's not like--from one businessperson to the next--

- I'm not going anywhere.

I'm using them for the next two days.

So don't blame me you being late. That's wrong.

Sorry. - No, no, no, no, no.

No, you are the reason why I'm late.

- I don't think so.

- Because you were having a whole situation with my...

- Five minutes. - Makeup artist.

- Five minutes.

- Okay, so, Ramona, I have Cynthia to do.

- Okay, sorry. Okay.

- So you don't want it tonight?

- No.

- It was not five minutes, Ramona.

She told you that she had to do my makeup.

- Then she should have left. - No, no.

'Cause she had to get her money from you.

You can't treat people like that.

- Excuse me. I said, "Show me the bill.

Show me the bill."

♪

- She told you that she had to do my makeup.

- Then she should have left.

- No, no, but she had to get her money from you.

- Excuse me. I said, "Show me the bill.

Show me the bill."

- The minute she told you that she had to do my makeup,

you can say, "You know what? Go ahead and do Cynthia,

because I know she has to be on time for dinner as well."

- Yeah, I said, "Go to Cynthia."

- "And I will definitely work it with you for your money."

- Yeah, I did say that to her, but she didn't want to leave.

- Well, that's not my problem.

You should have paid her before.

She's a little low-key delusional.

And definitely got a little lying problem.

And I don't know if I have the strength,

honey, and the energy to keep going

back and forth with this lady now.

- I need a frickin'-- a statement, an invoice.

- If you say-- - Give me a bill.

- "I am $100,"

why does she need to send you a bill?

"You're $100. Pay me the money."

- Right. But when I'm gonna say is,

with all due respect, like, you know,

we could say it's because she took five minutes,

but, like, you went without lashes.

It's not like, you know-- it can't be only about that.

- You think it's more to the story?

- I don't think it's about the bill

is what I'm trying to say.

Cynthia gets upset really easily, it seems.

- If I couldn't get my makeup done, I would be upset, too.

- It's like she kind of has a bone to pick with everybody.

- All I hear is, like, wah, wah, wah, wah.

I don't care what you guys are yapping about.

We're about to eat pasta. Pasta makes people happy.

- I'm still trying to digest "pushover."

I'm, like, stewing on "pushover."

- Oh, my God.

- I love you.

- I'm sorry. - I love you.

But I can't get pushover out of my mind.

- Oh, you mean backbone?

- Backbone, pushover, same thing.

- I was trying to stick up for you.

- I know you were trying to stick up for me.

- Sorry.

- But you don't know me well enough to call me a pushover

or say I have no backbone.

- Next time I'll keep my mouth shut.

I mean, I'm just saying... - No, no, no.

But the point is, is that I can handle myself

and my relationship with Ramona.

That's natural, and it's normal.

- I don't like the way she talks to you.

- I agree with you. - I mean, I was just trying--

- And sometimes I let it go over my head,

because you know what?

Sometimes... - 'Cause you're so sweet.

- I don't want to give it that energy.

- I know. I understand.

- 'Cause I'm in a really good space,

so I don't let people like Ramona mess with that.

But please don't call me a pushover and say

- You're not a pushover. - I don't have a backbone.

'Cause it's very upsetting. - All right, sorry.

- Okay.

♪

- I didn't know she was gonna react that way towards me,

and I was just like, "What?"

Slow it down. Like, her anger is misguided.

I think maybe she wants to take it out on Ramona,

but she's taking it out on me.

And here I am just trying to look out for her.

- I think that everyone's using the excuse

of Ramona and Luann's relationship

as the real issues, but I think everyone

actually has their own individual situation.

- Okay, can we talk about somebody else?

I mean, I know I'm not perfect.

- I'm just saying that's what's happening.

- But why is the focus on me?

Okay, let's have some better conversation.

All you can do is talk about me?

Is that how boring you all are? You can only talk about me?

That's, like, pretty sad. - Oh, God. Really?

- Wouldn't be an Italian dinner if somebody didn't get into it.

It is what it is.

- I'm just saying there's obviously more to it.

- Excuse me. - Where you going?

- I'm leaving. Excuse me.

- Are you coming back?

- When my dad was around, like, we were not allowed to get up

from the dinner table until everyone was done eating.

My dad would be like, "You, sit down!"

- What just happened?

Is she not coming back?

- I'm not paying somebody without seeing a bill.

♪

- Kenya does not have the patience at all

to deal with Ramona.

She has so many things on her plate right now back home.

I mean, maybe Luann and Kenya

could split the difference a little.

- Are you okay? - No.

Ramona insulted the entire table.

She said, "Are you guys all that bored?

That's all you have to do is talk about me?"

My head is, like, spinning

because I want to apologize to everyone

because I lost my cool.

And even on my show, I never lose my cool.

I've had enough of Ramona.

But I feel guilty about the way I acted today on the yacht.

For me to lose it that way,

it's just not how I want to behave.

That is not who I am. Yeah--

- Now we're gonna offend Teresa and her meatball dinner.

- Oh, yeah. Okay, well, I don't want to do that.

- We are all here on a girls' trip to have fun.

I just want everyone to come back to the table,

be together, and try to turn things around.

- This is Teresa's big night.

- I'm sorry that she showed up late.

It wasn't my fault. - Listen, no--

- I mean, she should have come to me and just--

- I just feel like you could have handled it differently.

- All I know is I told her, "Go to Cynthia."

- I wanted to bring it to your attention.

- Well, you brought it to my attention 10,000 times.

- That is why I was late. - How many more times?

- No, I brought it to you once. Like, stop, Ramona.

- You know what? You're making up bull

- I'm not making up bull

- Yeah, you are.

- Don't tell me I'm making up bull

- This is just so ridiculous.

- Why would I make up bull[bleep]?

I was just, like, with you on the boat the whole day.

- You don't know this woman. - You don't know her either!

- I pay my bills. - Just pay your bill

and stop inconveniencing people.

- I didn't want her to do my hair!

She was frickin' late, and I was doing meatballs with her.

And you know what?

I'm just gonna go and have a good time by the pool.

Have fun, girls.

♪

You can discuss me and diss me and do whatever you want,

'cause I'm so over this conversation.

♪

- All right. Well, then there was four.

- "Oh, no. I need to be paid now."

Where am I going? I'm using you for the next two days.

I think my credit score is--

I think top is 800--one to 800? I think it's like 780.

Like, I have no bills. Like, this is bull

And I said, "Go to Cynthia. Don't be late for Cynthia.

We don't need to discuss this now."

And now Cynthia's blaming it on me?

Ah! Ah!

- Teresa, I just wanted--

You know, I don't want to not support you,

so that's why I'm back.

- Listen, I unders-- Don't worry about it.

Did you get upset?

- Pretty much. I mean, Ramona said something about,

"Oh, you guys are all bored"... - Oh.

- And insulted every single person here.

- I look pretty good. I look good in yellow.

- I just think she's very delusional

and maybe possibly insane.

- You know what? I like myself.

You may not like me, but I like me, so it's okay.

- And, also, I wanted to apologize to all of you

for my behavior earlier today.

Even on my show, I can be angry,

but I don't express myself in an angry way.

I will curse you out so eloquently,

and I will twirl on you, and I will walk away in the wind.

Okay? - Oh.

- But for you to be a stranger,

some entitled, you know, freakin' little frail old lady

coming up to me saying crazy stuff?

It's just like, girl, do you need a nap?

Do you need some Geritol?

Like, do you need your dementia medication?

Bitch, go get your Depends and everything else

and get yourself together. - Oh, my God, Kenya.

- 'Cause clearly you are insane coming at me like that.

- Is that read? - That's a read.

- Hey, everybody. What's going on in the kitchen?

I need a reprieve.

All these girls are just going at me,

so I'm just here for-- to relax...

'cause I don't want to be attacked.

Do you like to be attacked?

♪

All right, can I have a little red wine?