Original subtitles

-

- Oh, see, it's already done.

- Right? - Perfect.

- I was just--Luann, did you see the schedule for today?

We were just going through it.

- Oh, wonderful. I'd love to hear the schedule.

- So we're gonna be serving breakfast in about 20 minutes.

- Okay. - Um...

The art of flirting is almost extinct.

And I love the fact that Michael has polished his art.

- 11:00, the taxis are coming.

They're gonna take us down to the buggies.

And we have little land tours in these cute little...

- What fun! - Ladybug.

- Yeah, okay.

- And then we have a special sushi chef.

- Let the games begin.

You know, it's great to have somebody to speak French with,

because my French is getting rusty.

And who doesn't love to flirt?

- Are you married? - I am married, yeah.

- Yeah, no, I just saw your wedding band.

- I'm married.

- I didn't know he was married.

♪

- Housewives in the island, baby!

♪ Housewives in the island, baby ♪

♪ So let the party start

♪ Them women beautiful as ever ♪

♪ The sun is hot, boy

♪ Are you ready, ha

♪ To move your body

♪ When the Caribbean rhythm touches ♪

♪ Ooh, that make ya go crazy

♪ Fever

♪ Feel it

♪ Can you feel the island fever? ♪

♪ Feel it, mon

♪ Fever

- Ugh, too bright.

♪

- Kyle. - Oh, hi.

- We were gonna jump on your bed,

because--because we're having breakfast.

- Oh, we're having breakfast? - We're having breakfast.

- Yeah, you were partying all night.

- Look at the lady of leisure.

- Yeah, come in.

- Knock, knock. - Come in, come in, come in.

- Hi! - Good morning.

Some--putting some sunblock on.

- Do you want to go for a walk or anything?

- Oh, you look pretty. I love that color on you.

- Oh, thank you. - Morning.

- Oh, cards. Let me hear the cards.

- Yeah. - Oh, my God.

- I know you were sleeping. I didn't want to bother you.

- I know. I always sleep.

- I need to find out who was playing music

in my speakers last night.

- Oh, probably Ramona.

She's the queen of the putting the music blasting.

- No, this--I don't think--this was not her kind of music.

- No? - No, it was all, like, rap.

- So you put it by your bed, and the first thing you do

is wake up and be--

- Yeah. Like, I just wanted to show you.

So this is, like, the first one he gave me.

- Oh, my God, look at how pretty, all the kisses.

This is so--I'm gonna cry. So sweet.

- This is the second one. - Oh, my God.

"The person who loves you more

"than anyone else in the universe.

XOXO." Day three.

- This is the third one.

I feel like Ramona's kind of lonely,

and I feel bad for her.

- I would love a man to write me love letters

every day that I was gone.

- I think Ramona needs some vitamin D in her life.

I think that'll definitely mellow her out.

This is day four. Aww, little--two little cats.

- Aww.

- "You give me the chills all over.

I want to cuddle with you forever."

- Okay, this is so, so beautiful.

- So that's it. - You are one lucky girl.

- And then I have day five, six...

- I love it. - Seven, and eight.

- I love it. It is just so, so special.

- What are you wearing today? - That's a good question.

I was actually just gonna go through everything right now.

I don't know.

- I've gotten to know you.

I think you're a beautiful person inside and out.

Like, I think you have so much love to give.

I know you're gonna find it. I know you are.

Like, I--and I want to give energy.

- I hope so. Give it to me. - Yes. Yes.

- Give me that energy. - You're gonna find your love.

Because I did. I never thought--

- No, this is what you're finding out.

I don't think you even had this with Joe, did you?

- No, I didn't.

And I just want you to know you're special,

and you're gonna find the love of your life.

- I mean, I'm ready for that. I really--finally--

- For you, Luann, and Kenya.

- I actually did put it out in the universe.

So I'd like a man in his 50s.

Someone who's semiretired.

Someone who doesn't hold a grudge.

Someone who makes me laugh.

Someone whose children are older.

A partner.

- Let me get Ramona down here.

- People come into your life for a reason.

I think John--you know, I really like this guy for you.

- Here's to Turks and Caicos.

- Ladies. - You know what?

But maybe you should let him know just, like...

- Right.

- You know, how come you're not with someone

and see what he says.

You're doing the right thing. Take it slow.

- Yeah. - He should come to you.

- But I can live anywhere. - Right.

- I'll have to bring that up in conversation.

- So yes.

So just let--I would put it out there somewhere.

- Actually, you know what I say now?

- Uh-huh.

- They go, "Well, where do you live?"

I go, "I'm not really sure where I live right now."

- All right, that's good. - Girls, breakfast!

'Cause we're leaving! Let's go!

- Leaving? I want to--I don't have time to work out?

- Man. - 11:00 we need to be out.

- I know, that's why I'm trying to rush everybody along.

It's already--what time is it? 10:00?

- If anyone finds a sock down there, it's mine.

- Hi, guys. - Hi.

- Hey, Teresa. - Good morning.

- Hi. How are you? Morning.

- How are you? - I'm sorry--

- Cute pictures of your boyfriend you posted.

- I miss him.

- Aww. - No kidding.

- You posted some pictures of bae?

- She's taking a picture of a hammock last night

with this big smile. She goes,

"Louie loves hammocks." And I'm like, no.

- I had a conversation with my guy in Tulum this morning.

- Oh, what were you guys talking about?

- He's coming in May to the Hamptons.

- Oh.

- I've always wanted to have a Latin lover,

and now I have one.

And we see each other when we see each other.

There's no strings attached, and it's easy breezy.

I think it's important that people enjoy their sexuality

and have sex,

'cause I think it's very good for the soul.

So I'd love to take him to, like,

some sort of exotic--something, like, really swanky, sexy.

- Has he seen your show? - He hasn't seen my show

because of COVID.

- Did you guys get to see her in "Chicago"?

She looked like she killed it.

- She did amazing. - That's not an easy role.

Playing Roxie? That's a lot.

- NeNe did it on our show. - Yeah.

- And Kandi did it. We got some talent in Atlanta.

- I know. - On Broadway?

- Yeah. They asked me to play Mama Morton.

- I mean, now that you brought up NeNe,

do you guys still talk?

- Not really.

I just don't enjoy talking about it.

And I get asked about it all the time.

I will always have love and respect for her.

- No, that's--

- But I'm fine with not being friends with her.

- Right.

- What I've learned with my relationship with NeNe

is that communication is key.

Last night, for my Bailey-cue...

- Yes. - Two--what are you doing?

- Oh, just rinsing my feet off.

- With Kenya, you know, the energy seems weird.

Like, I don't really know what's going on.

That's tough. I--you know, I survived NeNe.

I don't know if I can survive NeNe and Kenya.

Now, that's a lot. - I think it reminds me of you

and NeNe with me and Jacqueline,

and me and Jacqueline were really close.

Like, we were friends before the show.

I mean, I'm the most loving person there is.

You know? I mean--

- Quit when you're ahead.

- Jacqueline, tell her this. I've known her nine years.

I would have never crossed her, and she crossed me.

Somebody could have been putting that story out,

and they did, about the jail thing.

- But can you understand how was I gonna know better?

- No. I can't.

- You put it in a tabloid.

- You were going through legal issues.

I never asked you a question.

- Mine wasn't a criminal case.

I wouldn't file a fraudulent bankruptcy like you did.

- See, that--that's a low blow.

That was it. And I was so heartbroken.

It was, like, really hard for me to deal with that,

'cause it was, like--

- No, it's--it's... - I was so hurt.

- Devastating. - Yeah.

- I really was. Like, I was really hurt.

- Like, I literally talked to NeNe probably

30 times a day every day.

- Yeah, me and her too.

- We just had that-- we just had something.

- Yeah. We used to talk hours.

- Yeah. - You had special chemistry.

- And I'm like, I don't understand why.

- The biggest problem in these friendships

in reality television is some of these women care more

about what the audience think than what their friends think.

- The show does put pressure on you,

but if you allow it to put pressure on you.

So if a relationship goes sour,

it's not the show's fault, and it ends up exposing people

that are really not there for you.

She brought up, like, my legal stuff!

A true friend would have never

brought that up on national TV, right?

- Not your real friend.

- She was my best friend.

- Right. - You're close to Erika, right?

- Mm-hmm. - And, like, if she tells you,

like, "Don't bring up my legal stuff"...

- Right.

- You're not gonna bring up her legal stuff on TV, are you?

- No, but she-- the thing is...

- Right. - Oh.

- So then I asked questions that can give her--you know,

like, that I know will give her a chance to explain her side,

you know what I mean? Just, like--

- This is a great topic. I love this topic,

because we know it's out there in the papers, right?

So how much can we guard our friend?

- Oh, no. - I know it's coming.

- It was so bad. - You know, I know the red

dot's on my head, and it's a terrible feeling.

- "I know the red dot's on my head."

- At least you know it's coming.

At least you know it's coming, instead of just getting

your head blown off and you didn't even know.

- Well, like I did with Bethenny.

She showed me a picture on camera that I was not

expecting--that my husband was kissing somebody else.

- I remember that. That was bad.

- It was terrible.

I think I'm gonna throw up.

- It's Wednesday night. So that's at the--well,

whatever--ask whatever you want to know.

- So you're saying

that Bethenny should have told you first.

Like, "Hey, I have this." Obviously.

- It was horrible. It broke my heart.

- She's your best friend, yeah. - That's, like, a double hurt.

- Well, she claims to be my friend. That's not a friend.

Bethenny's agenda's always been to have the spotlight on her.

It was really more about her than it was about me.

I'm glad that Bethenny showed me the picture,

but I'm not happy that she showed me on camera,

because it was a very tough thing to go through

for the whole world to see.

You would have never done that to me.

- Sure enough, I would have been like,

"I'm not doing this. This is crazy."

- Never. - Same.

- This is your husband.

I was at your wedding. - I know.

- I know I couldn't have done that.

- 'Cause you're a good human.

Good humans don't do that stuff.

- I don't care if it's for the sake of television.

good humans don't do that.

- I look like Farrah Fawcett.

- Where are my socks?

♪

- Is everyone ready to explore the islands...

- I'm ready to explore. - Of Turks and Caicos?

Today's the Melissa Gorga day.

And I decided that we're gonna start off

going on a buggy tour.

It's kind of just, like, something different,

something a little active, gets us out of the house.

- Bye, Michael. - Bye. Have fun.

- Are you coming? - No.

- I want to see the island.

What are we gonna do, just keep lunching and brunching and...

No. I want to get in a buggy.

♪

- ♪ Dream on

- This fuzzy thing came off.

Wonder if I need it.

- ♪ Dream on

- ♪ You know I'm not done yet ♪

- I'm sitting in the back. Oh, my God.

I gotta go in sideways. Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

- ♪ You know I'm not done yet ♪

- Well, this is good.

I'm really glad that I'm getting to spend

some time with you and get to know you.

- Me too. - We're just--we're cool.

- Mm-hmm. - Like, not uncool.

- Not like uncool.

- No pun intended. - Not at all uncool.

That's why I think I'm gravitating toward Teresa too.

- Well, because she's in love now too.

- Yeah, well, she's definitely in love.

- I mean, my God, she's goo-goo, ga-ga.

- But I was like that with my husband.

So that's why I relate

to--you know, I'm connected to her.

- Well, you got a good one too, so...

- I did. - It's our turn next, Lu.

- Yep. We're next. - Yes, it is.

- Teresa's gonna put out that energy for us.

- ♪ Waking up in the morning thinking about so many things ♪

- What's the next word? Like, let's sing it.

- ♪ I just wish things would ♪ Get better

- Oh, that's Gia. I'm like, that sounds familiar.

- Now I made up another song

especially for my mom and Tío Joe.

- Oh! - ♪ Waking up in the morning

♪ Thinking about so many things ♪

♪ I just wish things would get better ♪

♪ I'm trying to get rid of them ♪

- Who would have ever known that Gia's song

would have gone viral?

Like, for instance, we have Will Smith singing it

and so many other stars.

And it's, like, so amazing.

And then you have Kyle and Melissa singing it.

- I'm not a good singer. We can leave that for Melissa.

- You know, you see things on the show, obviously,

like we all do, about each other.

And I was like, "Ooh, Kenya can be shady," or this and that.

- Oh, no. - You are so lovely.

- Thank you.

- I literally was saying, I love you.

- Aww. I love you too. - So sweet and so fun.

But you know how some people on the show

that you're with try to make you look bad.

- That's my whole issue. It's the consensus.

Like, let's--let's just keep making me the villain.

But I have to tell you--and I know you feel about LVP,

so I'm not commenting on that part of it.

- Mm-hmm.

- But where she put you out of that house--

- You know what, sweetie? I believe you.

We're done. Get the out of my house.

I swear to you I'm done with it.

- Goodbye, Kyle.

- "Goodbye, Kyle."

- "Goodbye, Kyle." Iconic.

Goodbye, Kyle.

- I'm done with it.

- "Goodbye, Kyle."

People will yell, "Goodbye, Kyle," out of a taxi.

I mean, there was, "Bye, Felicia,"

and now there's, "Goodbye, Kyle."

- You stood your ground,

and you kept--you didn't back down.

You kept saying what your truth was.

I saw both sides.

- And everyone knows that I'm close with LVP,

and they're like, "Kyle"--like, ask me,

"Kyle, are you saying that you don't think

LVP has ever done that or would ever do that?"

- Have you ever known her to leak stuff to the press?

- I mean, everybody here knows--

- Kyle, answer the question.

Have you ever known her to leak stuff to the press?

- In your heart of hearts. - Have I thought?

Absolutely.

You're not gonna lie to them,

so I was like, "I can't say that."

I just couldn't. I may be a lot of things.

You can accuse me of a lot of things.

But a liar is not one of them.

♪

- Yes.

- Oh, my God. - Oh, Lord.

They don't have a helmet big enough for my giant head.

- Are you serious?

♪

- Seven fine ladies hanging out with us today.

Yo, we're the luckiest guy alive.

How you ladies doing?

- How are you? - Amazing.

My name is Marvin. Marvelous Mar--

I'm sorry, just Marvin right now.

- Marvelous Marvin? - Yeah. At the end of the day,

you decide if I'm Marvelous Marvin or not, yes?

- Kyle, you would come in a heel to ride a buddy.

- I know.

- Who trusts me to drive them? - I do.

- Who's daring? - I don't like daring stuff.

- I'm a crazy person. - Oh, hell no.

- Come on. Come on! - Lord, have mercy.

You ready to have some fun? Yes!

- Before we get heading out on the street,

we're gonna get you in some helmets.

Make you cool. Don't worry, guys.

It's nothing crazy. It's just for fashion.

- Okay.

- Did you say it would make us cool?

- Yeah, it make you look cool. - Oh.

- Lord, have mercy.

Don't worry, all right?

- Are these sanitized helmets? - I have a small head.

- They're all clean and sanitized, guys.

We ain't afraid to show you the inside of them, all right?

- Do you have different sizes? I'm small.

- That one fits you perfect, there.

- How do I look?

- I want one with--with the thing.

- I mean, I couldn't have picked an uglier helmet

in a lineup.

I mean, it's not as nice as my hat, but it's okay.

This is definitely not Christian Dior.

- All right, guys.

Are we ready for this? Whoo!

- Good vibes, good vibes.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Oh, my God!

What's happening here?

- How do I back up?

- We got one more professional on our hands, guys.

- Ahh! - There's the horn, Melissa?

- Right--bottom left.

- Does everybody want to go shopping?

Yeah, right?

- This way, ladies. This way. This way. Attention.

- Go. - This way, ladies. This way.

This way. - Whoo-hoo!

- Amazing, ladies. Amazing.

If you keep this up today,

we'll have the most fun in paradise.

Amazing, ladies. Right on. Right on. Right on. Beautiful.

- With all the dust flying and the dirt and the heat,

I'd rather be, you know, on the beach.

- I'm not a fan of being

on highways in tiny little cars.

- Follow your leader. Follow your leader.

Follow the leader. Follow the leader.

- I needed this to be over an hour ago.

-

- Kenya's cheating!

- Remember, follow your leader.

Follow your leader. Follow your leader.

- Oh, my God, she's so naughty.

I can't believe how naughty she is.

I'm gonna call 911 for the girl wearing the yellow dress.

- "Slow down, young lady. You're gonna get in trouble."

- Kenya almost put us in jeopardy several times

by cutting us off.

She was like a wild chick.

I don't know--what was she thinking?

She could have killed us.

- I just want to let my hair down and have fun, okay?

- Can we please go home?

-

- ♪ I'll let you wake me up

♪ Said I'll let you wake me up ♪

- Anywhere is good.

You could stop if you can't make the turn.

Just stop if you can't make the turn.

- Ahh! - Don't crash into us!

- Kenya gets a spanking.

- Ahh! - I love me a good daredevil.

Oh, great, this is nice. In the shade.

- Oh, perfect! - I'm loving it.

- Y'all want me to start up anything to nibble on?

- Oh, we want to order. - We're just gonna order.

- The network is always so serious

about getting your order.

The drink needs to be served on camera

so that we can see the drink coming into the shot.

- When we are out and dining on the "Housewives,"

we're always in amazing restaurants in great locations,

so I can see

why people would be interested in what we're ordering.

- I think sometimes we have some palates

that are adventuresome.

And a lot of people just eat the same thing, you know?

We go to some exotic restaurants

that have exotic menus, and yeah.

That could be it.

- I'll go first. - I'll start.

We're gonna have--we're gonna share the Peking duck.

- Shocker. - I was...

- Peking duck tacos. - Giving him my order.

- You--okay. Go ahead.

- So allow me to finish, please.

- Please do.

- Can I just have an order of the tacos?

- Yeah. The fish tacos?

- Mm-hmm. - Okay.

- We're gonna split the duck and the mashed burger?

- That's too much, huh? - No, I'm starving.

- Okay. And a mashed burger.

- The smash burger's the best burger on the island.

- Well, that was fun.

That guy--I feel like-- feel like that guy...

- Marvelous Marvin? - He overtalked you guys,

and you could have zero conversation.

- That was a lot of talking.

- Who's got my--oh, you have my--that little bag I gave you.

So, girls, I brought this game

called the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

- Oh!

- What your thoughts are on the good, the bad,

and the ugly parts of being housewives,

reality television, et cetera, okay?

- Are we supposed to answer what's good, what's bad,

what's ugly about the question you ask us?

- Just pick a question. - Okay.

- Hopefully the cocktails will come before you answer.

Why don't you go first, Kyle?

You look like you're ready to go.

- Oh. - She's bright-eyed

and bushy-tailed. Okay.

- Question is,

"How has the show affected your relationships?"

- Being on the show. Yeah.

- Well, you know, people always say,

"What do you think about the 'Housewives' curse?"

So many people... - Right.

- Get divorced, on the "Housewives."

- Yes.

- I really believe, you know,

that it made my husband's and my relationship stronger.

But I think that a lot of women end up doing the show

because they're not in a great situation

and they're thinking it's gonna be their out--

like, to give them some independence.

And there's already cracks in the relationship.

- Yes. - That's why they do the show.

And then it crumbles. 100%.

So I don't really believe in the curse.

It doesn't ruin your marriage.

You came into this show with problems to begin with.

If you come in like that,

I give you one season, two, tops.

- You go through these issues. Even with my own husband.

Joe and I had an argument,

a real argument on the show one night.

- Yeah. - We're watching it,

and I'm, like, looking at him, and he's looking at me,

and I'm like, I can't believe, like, something could feel,

like--not that it could break us,

but, like--it's scary.

And then the Twitter starts.

And then the Instagram starts. And I'm--like, my heart drops,

because I'm like, I will never let this show take over.

- I felt like I had the perfect life.

I swear to God. Perfect marriage, perfect life.

And then it all came crashing down.

- I always get stumped on that question,

but my life is really good right now,

and I don't think I would go back.

I think I wouldn't change a thing.

I mean, the only thing I wished

is that my parents were still here.

I wish I just had more time with them.

But everything else,

I guess it's the way it was supposed to go.

- Ladies, I'm gonna leave some of these candles here

to keep any bugs away, okay?

- Thank you. - There's no bees here, right?

- Not that I know of.

- Ramona's looking out for me with the bees.

I feel like I need to bring my epi pen.

- You have to learn how to do this yourself.

Push the--so it clicks. You hear it click.

- Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.

Oh, my God, I'm scared. What is that?

- I didn't do anything yet.

- All right, babe, what you got?

- "What perks have you experienced

from being a Housewife?"

Well, you know, there's a lot of perks.

One of the things that comes to mind

is just meeting women that I wouldn't normally

probably end up being friends with.

Like, I think that was the first thing for me--to,

like, put myself in a friend circle of people

that I just--honestly, if I wasn't a Housewife,

I don't think I maybe would have met these women.

- Thank you, Cynthia.

That's perfect. Okay, Ramona's up.

- Okay. "How do your kids feel about you being on the show?"

My daughter, when she was about 11, she said,

"Mom, Mom, why am I not on TV? I should be on TV."

So when I got on the show, she said to me, "Mom,

"I'm the one who's supposed to be famous now, not you.

"I was supposed to be famous. I just want you to be my mom.

Why do you have to be on the show?"

She did not like me--

"Can't you just be a mom like everyone else?"

- Aww. - I think it's fair

to say most kids just want a typical mom.

Like, they don't want you to be flashy.

They don't want you to come downstairs

with, like, the outfit.

- But there's something to be said for freedom of expression.

And sometimes--

- It depends on what you want to teach your daughters.

- Right.

- All right. Kenya, you're next.

- Ah, let's see. Ooh!

"How have you been affected by comments on social media?"

- Media. - Oh, yeah.

- My first season was the hardest,

because I didn't know about social media.

Even now, I rarely post, because I think it's the devil.

People try to say that I paid a man to be my boyfriend.

- What? - Someone accused me of that.

And then he said something, because he was mad.

- Walter did a radio interview. - Mm-hmm.

- And he said you hired him

to portray your boyfriend on this show.

- Absolutely not. I would not waste my time

pretending to be in a relationship

when I have a worldwide stage to find me a man.

My hand to God, I've never paid a man.

I want people to know

and my daughter to know this is not real.

- Mm-hmm.

- "What's the worst thing that happened to you on the show?"

And I've been thinking about all the crazy,

horrible things that happened to me on the show.

But I think, in total-- and it's--and I'm hearing

you all-- it is keeping your sanity.

I mean, keeping your head looking in the right direction

and not falling victim to these people

that try to take you down

for whatever reasons-- because they're jealous,

because, you know--you know, they'd like to have your life,

they, you know, want to see you fall,

they want--you know, it's just really hard to keep

level-headed in what we do and not let the haters

and not let, you know, the relationships,

the family, you know, suffer because of what we do.

So the worst part is really just trying to stay alive

as women and support each other

and--and knowing that you're good enough.

No can tell you you're not.

- Maybe there could be a Housewives support group.

Hi, my name is Kyle.

I'm a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills.

- ♪ I know a bad boy, he a scammer ♪

♪ Shoot his shot for me, he ain't got the hammer ♪

♪ He be stuntin', that's for the camera ♪

♪ He keep me icy, but he couldn't handle it ♪

- Cynthia. Ramona.

♪

Are you gonna take a shower?

- You did not.

- Are you kidding me?

- I thought that Ramona was more modest.

She doesn't like to talk about her sex life.

- Oh, really? I love your--

- No, she did not.

♪

- Oh, I don't think I've ever even been up here.

My God. Must be nice to have--

Oh! There's her room. - Yeah.

- I'm like, I've never even been up here.

It must be nice to have a regular bedroom.

Do you feel like you're in a hotel?

We're just gonna have, like, a good old-fashioned

girls' night sleepover.

Look, they all have their letters on them.

Kyle, Melissa, Kenya. Aren't these adorable?

- God, these are, like, what I would wear.

You guys are 40-year-old women.

- Hey, Antonia! We are hot women!

Some of the most intimate moments

I remember growing up were in high school.

Hello, Miss Queen, in the Queen Suite.

You get deep at a girls' sleepover.

And we are gonna look so cute in these PJs.

May I please enter your room?

I've come with your clothing.

- Hi.

- I've come bearing gifts to the queen.

- Oh. Yes. Bow down. - I'm teasing.

- Bow down, bitches.

- I'm teasing because I'm a peasant,

and I haven't been up here once, and I'm like, wow, guys.

- What? Come in? - These rooms are really nice.

I just came with--for what you'll wear tonight.

- Everyone has the same?

- Everyone has exactly the same.

- Oh! Oh, it's slippers?

- Yeah, there's really cute slippers I think you'll love.

- Thank you, queen. - You're welcome.

You're welcome. You're welcome.

Goodbye, Your Majesty. I will see you later.

- You didn't kiss my ring.

- Oh, you and your ring!

- ♪ Party every day

♪ Party, party every day

♪ We like to - ♪ Hey

♪

- Hi, y'all. Let's go.

- Okay, let's go. - Do a game night,

and you don't know when else is ready yet,

because they're getting full glam to put on pajamas,

I'm sure.

♪

Oh, my--I like it all open like this. This looks so cute!

- Oh, my gosh! This feels so festive.

- Oh, I love it! This is so cute!

I feel like I'm 12!

Good job. Good job. - Slumber party.

- I just want to laugh tonight.

Maybe, like, put it up here so nobody steps on it, you know?

- Yeah. - We are going to do shots.

We are gonna play ridiculous games.

You know, I'm gonna represent Jersey in every way possible.

Throw your hair in ponytails and let's go.

Oh, no! Aah! - Grab the balloons!

- No, they're leaving!

Whoops!

[bleep]! Aah!

Jesus Christ.

We lost a few. Oh, my God.

They're all gonna be gone. They're all gonna go away.

- I should--I'm gonna take up these dresses

to my clothing line.

- Hi.

- Welcome to my slumber party! - It's so cute.

- You look so good. They fit you good?

- I love them. - Good.

- Oh, my God, I love-- and they're--

and I love that they're stretchy.

- Yeah. - That's what I asked you.

I love it.

- You're my first guest. Welcome to the slumber party.

- Yeah.

- I think Ramona's not gonna like it, but I don't care.

- Why won't she like it?

- She doesn't like to talk about sex.

- Ramona? - Yeah, she doesn't.

She says, "I don't kiss and tell," she says...

- Oh. - All the time.

I know, right? That's what the girls say.

She doesn't play kiss-and-tell games.

- I mean, we don't like that either.

- Oh, my gosh, what's going on here?

- Hi! Are you ready for our slumber party?

- You know what?

I was just saying to myself upstairs in the room,

I feel like I'm, like, 16 again or 13.

Remember, that was a big thing to have slumber parties.

And you with your hair, like, in a pony,

you look like you're--

- Yeah, like I'm ready to have a slumber.

- Oh, yeah, girl. - Kenya?

- Can I come in without cameras?

Should I shut the-- Okay. You okay?

- Aww. I'm sorry.

What's happening? -

- What's wrong? What happened?

- What's happening? -

- I know.

Listen, you just have to think about the fact this is--

I was texting with my ex, and he said something about

going back to the first time we met on a date,

being those hopeful people that we were.

It just really pissed me off that he had the nerve to--like,

the audacity to feel like, you know, after all the hell

that he's raised in our marriage and all the havoc.

And I'm like, we're here because of you.

It just was a trigger. I don't know why.

It was just a trigger.

Let's just say it just has not been a good marriage.

- I felt initially, for the sake

of my daughter being happy,

I needed to stay together for her.

And now I understand

that my happiness will be her happiness.

So whatever that looks like for me

is what I have to pursue, and that means being single.

- I don't blame you. Let me see.

- Hi, can I come in?

What's wrong?

Shut the door.

Will you shut the--

I don't--just, I don't want to--

- Honey.

- It's just, he is a horrible husband.

"I forgot to tell you I'm sorry for any pain I caused you."

That's what made me upset.

And I was like, you've caused me nothing but pain.

- I know, it's really-- it's just so hard

to see you go through this, Kenya.

- That really makes me sad. - Yeah.

- We've only been here four days,

but there's some people you can know for years

and not want to share anything with.

Other people, you meet and you feel safe with them.

And I'm feeling like I have that with Kenya.

- I didn't want anyone to know that I was breaking down.

For Cynthia to walk in with cameras,

I just would have really preferred her

to check on me as a friend first.

- Regardless of where we're at at this point, you know,

in our friendship, on the trip,

I don't want to see Kenya cry and be in pain.

Like, you just have to keep fighting.

He's just not gonna give you anything.

You just have to fight him the whole way.

It's like a power thing.

- That's what our marriage has been the whole time.

- I know. I've been there the whole time. I know.

- You know, it's just poor, poor communication.

And, you know, then he has these epiphanies, like,

"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you"--

forgot to tell me you're sorry you ever hurt me?

Get the out of here.

- The girls are late, though. I'm gonna text them right now.

- I'm ready.

- I'm gonna have a cocktail.

Oh, my God!

- You look--oh, my God, you're doing sexy jammies?

- Doesn't it feel like a real slumber party?

- Yes, it does. - I feel so bad.

I feel like she still cares about him a lot

for that to trigger her.

- Yeah. You know, he's not a bad guy.

He's not a bad person. They're just not good together.

Kenya is one tough cookie.

But I feel like, for some reason,

when it comes to Marc, there's a lot of blurred lines.

- Cynthia? - We're missing the glam squad.

- Oh, my God. - Yes!

- Okay. - Everyone downstairs?

- Like, there's a reason why they just are not together,

and they can't figure it out.

Maybe it's because they're just not meant to be together.

But that's between them and God, child.

- I have a question.

Do you guys have ginger for the sushi?

- What are they doing up there?

- Kenya was having a little moment.

She got a text from her ex.

- What did it say?

- It was just something that set her off.

- If you were sorry,

you would have just been a better human being.

- That's what I'm saying.

It's like--and then it's a text.

- How did she get shorts?

- How cute! - Oh!

- Are they supposed to be shorts?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- So they are. - Okay.

- All right, ladies. - Vodka shots.

- I have the first game for you guys.

So we're gonna put a couple shots on the floor.

Melissa's gonna kick it off with a green shot.

- Oy, oy, oy. Be careful.

- You just gotta--you gotta spread yourself out.

We made it up as we're going.

- You just made this up yourself, Michael?

- Yeah. - Oh, my God! This is--

- Oh, you were born for this game.

- Okay. Beautiful! There you go!

- No, she has to keep her hand on the blue.

I thought she had to keep her hand on the blue.

- How were you drinking upside down?

- Oh! - Let me grab this.

Okay, Teresa, show them how it's done.

We're gonna do a blue. You just gotta make sure--

- Oh! - Teresa's got it!

- Oh, my-- - Whoo! Oh, my God!

- Holy moly! - Oh!

- Oh, oh, oh, oh! I got you.

Whoo! - Oh, shoot! Oh, damn!

- Ramona, you gotta do one.

- If I vomit tonight, it's your fault.

- I'll hold your hair for you. - No, I'm being serious.

- That's what girlfriends do.

- Come on, Ramona! Make me proud!

- Ramona! Ramona! Ramona! Ramona! Ramona!

- How do I do this thing?

- Show them! - I can't.

- Yeah! - She can hang.

- Whoa, she has a split going.

Whoa, girl! You go, girl!

You go, girl! You go, girl!

Whoo!

- She spilled it? - Cleanup!

- Cleanup on aisle number nine!

- Unlike some women I know, I'm not as versed at stretching

my limbs over big, wide, circular objects.

- This one's for Luann. This one's for you.

I'm gonna make it easy for you, okay?

- What? - I'm gonna put it in my mouth.

- Yes. - And then I'm gonna sit up.

And you have to try and get it from my mouth.

- Oh! You're getting feisty! - Yeah?

- Oh! - Yeah?

- All right, Michael, if you insist.

- Okay! Oh!

- Okay. - Here we go.

- I'm in. I'm in.

- Oh, my God, Luann! Oh!

- Yeah!

- Whoa! - All right!

- Yes, that's how come to a Melissa Gorga party!

- That's how you do it! That's how you do it.

- That was so-- - Thanks so much.

- Mwah. - Aah!

- Oh, my God, Joe would be in a lot of trouble.

- If that were Mauricio, I would chop off his penis.

I told you I like to play games.

- We get to eat sushi now! - Yes!

- ♪ Dim the lights, get the party up in here ♪

- Unbelievable.

- ♪ Everybody's floodin' it downstairs ♪

♪

- All right, girls, so... - All right, so...

- Ouch.

- We're gonna play a bunch of games.

- Strip poker? - Sex, sex, and more sex.

I already know. - No.

This is gonna be really awkward and fun.

So we're all gonna put one of these in our mouths,

which is gonna make us look a little funny,

like when you go to the dentist.

- Okay. - We're getting X-rayed.

- And then we have to say what your card says,

and we have to guess what we're saying.

- Oh, that's fun.

- I think that's--

- I have problems with oral things.

- Holy

- All right, Kenya, you're first. Stand up.

- Do I have it in right? - Yeah, you're good.

pop culture.

- Is it charades? - No, honey.

We just have to make out what you're saying.

It's so easy.

- Oh, it is?

- Hurry up. - Okay.

- What?

- All?

- Yeah.

- Old. Old.

- Old. - Like, old.

- Bait and switch! The old bait and switch!

- Yes!

- Of the.

- Rick Ross!

- Oh, Rick--what is it?

- Rick roll! Oh, my God! - Yes!

Oh, God.

Old bait and switch

of the Rick roll.

That makes no sense.

- This is not the picture. - I wouldn't know.

I don't know what the hell that is.

- Why? I don't get how that's pop culture.

- You got a little baby mouth. - I do.

- There you go.

- You got it, Ramona. Come on. You got it.

- Aah!

- She's gonna pee her pants.

- Oh. - Did she pee her pants?

- Ramona, I did too. - Ramona.

- She peed her pants.

- Aah! - She's gonna pee her pants.

- Oh. - Did she pee her pants?

Did she pee her pants?

- Ramona.

- She peed her pants.

- I literally peed in my pants.

- Aah, I love you!

- Ramona, do you want me to blow-dry?

- Oh, my God. - Sure.

- Okay.

- Stop!

- Wait, you can't even see it.

- And then of course, I have to pee my pants too,

because apparently this is contagious.

- What do I have?

- I'm glad to know that Ramona and I are in the same boat.

Great. - Lisa Rinna, where are you

when we need you and your Depends?

- How's your pee doing over there? Good?

- Are you sitting on the couch with wet pants?

- No.

- We're gonna play prosecco pong.

Everyone grab these glasses, if you can.

- Oh, so we're moving on. Okay, great.

- Yes. We are moving on.

- Everyone grab these glasses. Okay, thanks.

♪

- The losing team. - Ah!

- Let's get the party started in here! Let's go.

- Kenya said this is the losing team.

- Whoa! Whoa! Really?

- If one of you get it in, this team will pick a card,

and you all three have to answer the question

on these sexy situation cards. - Okay.

- You guys are in trouble. I'm focusing.

- You got this.

- Teresa, go, girl. No. Oh, damn.

- Not even close.

- Oh, damn, that was so close!

♪

Why is it going to the right?

♪

- Yes!

- Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!

- Now all of you guys have to do it.

- Ramona, have you ever used food in the bedroom?

- Actually, Mario, my ex, and I used to use food

in the living room from the fireplace.

We'd call it cannoli night.

He's like, "Are we gonna have cannoli night tonight?"

Because we love cannolis.

So I'd put it on his, you know, private parts and lick it off.

- Oh, like, the cannoli cream? - Yeah, baby.

- On his thing? And then you-- - Ramona!

- Whoa! - You did that? Ooh!

- Joe is gonna be so annoyed at me,

because he's gonna be like,

"Ramona takes the cannoli cream!"

That's what he's gonna say. Okay, let's go, guys.

- Okay, Teresa, you gotta kill it now.

- Wow, there's only three left.

- Ooh! - Oh, my God.

- Yes!

- Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

- Why are we so good at this game?

- Now for your sex question.

- If you were allowed to sleep

with anyone you wanted, who would it be?

- That is a good question.

- My husband already knows that Lenny Kravitz is my guy.

- Okay. - All right, Teresa, yours?

- I don't know.

- Teresa, you have no choice but to answer.

- It's Louie! - Yeah!

- "I just--I want to show him

what the leaves look like outside."

- Oh, gosh. - You have to pick someone.

- I mean, I used to--like, a long time ago,

but he doesn't look that good anymore--Antonio Sabato, Jr.

- All right. - That works.

- He's cute. - I got one. Bradley Cooper.

- Luann picked Bradley Cooper.

- I mean, I don't know. I said Antonio Sabato, Jr.

'cause that's who I thought was hot when I was in my 20s.

- Yes, my pirate days are over.

I'm getting a little bit more sophisticated

in my taste in men.

Oh!

- Oh, my God! Shot! Shot!

Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!

- This is what happens

when you're doing tequila shots and you're not 25.

- All right. All right. Wait.

- What does that do? Does that make you not--

- Heartburn. - What in the world?

What kind of girls' trip is this?

- Ever had sex in a public place?

Absolutely. On the beach. - Yes.

- On the beach? - Yeah, on the beach.

- Good. Fair. Kyle?

- I was at a black tie at a table for ten.

At the table.

- No! - Oh, a hand job.

- No way. You're lying.

- A hand job? - How did you do that?

- Explain! - How?

- She sat on his lap, and nobody knew.

- Right. - She was just having a moment.

- I don't believe it.

- And it looked like she was dancing on his, you know.

- Wait, did you have a short dress on or a long one?

- Probably short.

- But it was long enough to cover the front.

- I give you a lot of credit.

- ♪ Money can't buy you class

- Well, that's for damn sure, it cannot.

- Like, who's not gonna notice that?

So she couldn't have been doing much.

I don't know what kind of sex they have, but, child,

if I--like, you got to--

- I would never imagine her doing something like--never.

And is the zipper hurting?

You know, is it hurting? 'Cause that's rough.

Like, is the zipper hurting him and you both?

'Cause all I could think about is the little zipper. Right?

- You gotta move that thing. You know what I'm saying?

Who's not gonna notice all of that? Like, really?

- Her vajayjay's gotta have little, like, zipper marks

on it or something, 'cause that would hurt.

You know?

That was so much fun.

Thank you. That's how we party in Jersey!

We all drank.

- Oh, my God. - I love you guys.

- That was so fun. - Thank you.

- That was so much fun.

- Oh, my God, you guys, that was really funny.

♪

- Uh-oh, hi, Kenya.

- I know way too much about you now.

- They didn't believe me.

So I told them about Vegas that time.

They didn't even believe me.

- See? - Aah!

- A black tie dinner, getting your freak nasty on?

Like, that is impressive, girl. In a short dress?

Well, if it was short, how was it a black tie dinner?

Oh, my God! -

- Oh, my God! -

- What is happening? - You're not gonna read this.

- I'm not.

- Atlanta, meet the Jersey bitches!

- What did she say? - Night-night! Night-night!

- - Okay, I already faked

going to bed.

I really didn't. I just washed my makeup off.

Now I'm back out? - Okay. Go to bed.

- ♪ Waking up in the morning thinking about so many things ♪

- ♪ I just wish things would get better ♪

- Oh, my God.