Original subtitles

One, two, three, four!

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

Our babysitting dance, one of the few perks of babysitting.

We can definitely post that.

I can't believe I moved to London a year ago today.

Happy Brit Day! (HORN BLOWS)

Thanks, bestie. Now, what else can I upload

to my London-iversary ClakClak feed?

We've filmed loads since you moved in.

There must be tons of stuff

that sums up your first year in England.

How about this?

Of course! Arachnogeek!

Oh, and the Cocoon Cannon. That has to go up.

(GASPS) Let's web each other up to celebrate.

Maybe later. Let's check for more videos first.

Mm-hmm. I mean, I'm totally Goldie.

Well, you see, my name is--

What's that? Oh, just a bit of footage

from when I was filming the documentary when you moved in.

Of course. You filmed everything the first week

I moved in.

We could post that to celebrate the anniversary!

Yeah. But we never put the full film together.

So let's do it now!

We could show everyone in the house.

I mean, I bet the oldies would love to see the full version.

How much of this stuff do you have?

Loads of it, but there was a reason

why we didn't complete it.

Do you remember?

Goldie is moving to England!

Goldie is, like, my best neighbor's

American granddaughter friend.

I've known her since we were eenie-weenie.

Loren, why are you in my house?

Oh, I'm making a documentary about Goldie moving to the UK.

She used to come here every summer

with all these crazy plans to help people,

and they always worked out great...

mostly.

No, I mean, how did you get into my house?

Oh! By a secret tunnel.

Can I come with you the airport to get Goldie.

Yes, I suppose so.

You could help me with the luggage.

You're back from America for good!

I'm so glad your plan came off. I know, right?

It was so sad thinking of Gramps all alone

in that big old house,

and then when Mom lost her job--

I didn't lose it.

I walked out, and then I walked back in again,

and then I set off the fire alarm by accident,

and then I walked back out again really quickly.

It was quite a stressful time.

But no stress here, right?

Working from home, spending more time with you kids,

it's living the dream.

And there'll be so much more space for creativity.

I'm thinking about converting

one of the spare rooms into a studio.

Yes, about that--

I've got a really good feeling about this.

This is a Goldie plan, Mom.

I give it half an hour until it goes wrong.

Hey, I have an 80/20 success rate!

20% success, 80% total disaster.

Wait. I need to tell you something.

We're here! And no disasters.

Actually no disasters. I love this house.

Quick, got to grab the front bedroom before Danny does.

Hey, no fair! Wait, Goldie!

Hey, come on! Loren, quick!

I wanted that room. Too late! I call dibs.

I'm not sure we should be in here.

What's with all the stuff? As I was saying--

What are you doing in my room?

Aah! Aah!

So why didn't you tell us you'd rented out the rooms?

I didn't want to put you off.

I was lonely,

and I never dreamed you'd want to live here.

But where are we going to sleep?

Ah, Terrance has a meat locker in the basement.

I'm not sleeping in a meat locker.

Goldie?

No one is sleeping in a meat locker.

There's still your old room.

What, for all three of us?

It's bigger than you think.

Night, kids.

Mom, your foot is in my face. Oh, sorry, love.

(ROCK MUSIC ON PHONE)

Danny! Just watching a vid.

Turn it off. Ugh! Worst plan ever.

Shh!

Mom, your foot is in my face again.

Oh, just turn over! (SIGHS)

Oh! Ow! (LAUGHS)

I'm fine. Whoa. Still fine.

Ow! Be quiet up there!

Do shut up! I'm meditating!

Will you all please go to sleep?

Will you all just shut up?

Maybe you should stop filming now, Loren.

Okay.

# I've got a plan #

# I flew over the ocean to tell you how #

# Me and my fam #

# We caused a commotion #

# When we landed on my granddad #

# It's chaos at home but it's always fun #

# Fun fun fun fun #

# 'Cause you're never too old and you're never too young #

# Around here #

# So this is me #

# Just trying to keep it all together #

Good morning, everyone. Hi. Hello. Sleep well?

You must have known about these guys living here.

Why didn't you say anything?

I thought it would be a nice surprise.

And plus, the old people are so sweet and adorable.

This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me,

and I was once shipwrecked with a mime artist!

We can't have young people running about,

poking their noses into my secret...

knitting patterns.

You said I couldn't keep a goat in the house.

This is the same thing! (GRUNTS)

What's all that stuff in my kitchen?

Action! Step one in my new creative

work-from-home lifestyle-- I'm making jam.

Yum. Home-crafted artisan jams

for our new fruit "frusion" company, Sherri's Berries.

"Frusion"? (LAUGHS)

Congratulations. I haven't laughed so much in years!

"Frusion" is an actual word.

Like cook-tastrophe or jam-plosion?

There will be no jam-plosions.

This is all about love and care and creativity.

Why is it so hard?

Why is it so runny?

Why does it taste so bad?

Get out of my kitchen.

I'm going to my room.

Danny, can you offload

this jam-making equipment for me, please?

Happy to, Mom. Anytime. A refund?

Listen, those umbrellas are supposed to be water soluble.

Of course I haven't skipped the country! Who told you that?

What you up to, Goldie? Making a plan.

I love it when she does that.

Okay. So we have two problems--

not enough space and some unhappy old people.

First step, win over the oldies so they want us to stay.

Ha! Best of luck with that one.

Any chance we could watch television in the near future?

Maybe we should do this somewhere else.

Okay. First step--win over Rainbow.

That should be easy.

Ta-da! I cleaned your room! Ta-da!

I bleached the mildew on your windowsill,

threw out all this old dirt, and the fish tank, oh, my gosh.

It was full of the most disgusting slime,

but I pulled it out.

It's ready for new fish. What do you think?

My fungus farm!

My wormery! My pond slime!

My beautiful slime!

Why? Why?

I'm sure it'll go better with Terrance.

Terrance is always slaving away in the kitchen.

I think it's time we gave him the night off.

Why are you in the linen cupboard?

Where am I going to put my towels now?

Okay. You can look now.

Surprise! No cooking tonight! I bought us all pizzas.

We can have takeaways all the time from now on.

What do you think?

Let's see if you can work it out.

This is what I think!

Killer pizzas!

My delicious nightmare came true!

Okay. Well, at least Esther will be simple.

She's so sweet and frail, shuffling around

with that big old handbag.

All I need to do is--

That's all the towels in the house cleaned.

Hi, Esther.

Here, Esther, let me take your bag.

No, no. It's fine. I don't mind, really.

I said it's fine! It's no trouble.

Let me help you! Get off!

That's amazing. Your hip is better.

This is wonderful! It's a miracle.

Yes! Hooray!

I can dance and jump and glare.

Do you know what happened to the last person

who blew my cover?

Get back here!

Whoa! Oh, no. I am so sorry.

Are you okay? Yeah, yeah. I think I'm fine.

Are you okay?

I said, "Are you okay?"

Yeah.

I am completely Goldie.

I mean I'm totally Goldie.

Well, you see, my name is--

(GASPS)

Sean dear.

How nice having you close by.

Hey, Gram. This girl has just fainted.

Oh, don't worry about her. She'll be gone soon.

Why don't you tell me all about your tennis match?

A tiny Cupid's arrow. Goldie is in love!

Look what she did to my pond slime!

Takeaway pizza in my kitchen!

I'm going to have to make you all disappear.

Okay. Okay. Stop.

It's pretty clear this can't go on.

There's just not enough room!

Don't mind me. I'm just making cushions.

It's my new thing. Cozy.

I think it's time someone found their own place to live.

Mm-hmm. That's right.

One of you has to move out.

What? Dun, dun, duh!

Gramps, you can't throw out one of the oldies.

This is their home.

No, kiddo. It's my home.

I got the guys in

because I thought I was going to be alone,

but you're here now, and it's wonderful.

But how will you even choose who goes?

I know. A dance-off!

Not a dance-off. Leave it to me.

You're not the only one who can make a plan.

The housemate who has to move out is...

Me?

That's not right. Why am I even on this?

So, after another incident with the sewing machine,

I have concluded that cushions are probably not for me,

but that's okay because I have hit on the most creative

and stress-free job in the world.

An astronaut? Being a writer.

(BREATHES DEEPLY) I feel so inspired.

(KEYS CLACKING)

Could you stop doing that, please?

It's putting me off.

Okay. Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Ah! (CHUCKLES)

(SCOFFS) You people...

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHTER)

Utterly incredible. Come on. One more.

I promise you, we're going to make this work.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

I think we're going to have to find a different way

to decide this. I know.

Not a dance-off. Shame.

So Gramps is holding a balloon debate

to decide who has to leave, and I'm the judge.

It's great to be wanted,

although I don't really know what a balloon debate is.

Cool.

It's like pretending you're in a sinking hot-air balloon

and you have to throw someone out.

Why not just do that for real?

A balloon debate is an awful plan.

There's only one way to stop this.

I know, but I don't have

enough liquid nitrogen to freeze everyone.

Shh!

(WHISPERING) Can't you see I'm writing here?

I need absolute silence.

I'm going to get Gramps' tent down from the attic

and camp in the garden.

That way, everyone gets more space.

No, don't! People have heard strange noises up there.

It could be ghosts or attic dolphins, evil attic dolphins!

You don't want to rile them.

I've been going up here since I was 5.

(NORMAL VOICE) I can't work under these conditions!

I'm an artist!

Look at all this junk. Yeah.

Spooky. Let's get out of here before--

What's that? Nothing! It's nothing!

Someone has been living up here.

What did I say?

Attic dolphins, maybe ghostly ones.

Let's get back

before they squirt us with their haunted blowholes.

Look, there's more. A tent, and what's that?

Loren, are you using our attic as a lab?

Only a bit!

I'm not allowed to try out the teleporter at home?

Teleporter? Seriously?

It's not 100% working just yet,

but I'm also making a paper shredder that shoots confetti.

It's for office weddings.

Okay. And what does this do?

Don't! Whoa!

What is that? Hmm, that's odd.

It's never done that before. Loren, what did you do?

My mum's banned me

from doing experiments at home, which is so unreasonable.

All my inventions are totally safe.

Have we teleported? Has anything disappeared?

Maybe some bits of the tent. Hmm.

Don't think you're going to be camping in the garden now.

Mostly safe, my inventions are mostly safe.

It's okay. I have a plan B.

Are you running away from home?

Are we going to join the circus?

(GASPS) We can be fire eaters!

Actually, that sounds a bit hot.

We could eat warm things, like muffins,

and not in the circus.

How about a Jacuzzi?

You want to run away and eat muffins in a Jacuzzi?

Doesn't sound too bad. Let's call that plan C.

This is plan B-- live in the taxi.

Go away! I need my space!

Mom, are you okay?

You know, maybe this creative stuff isn't that good for you.

I wonder if they've started the balloon debate.

Not a real balloon, Loren. Of course.

And that is why I should stay.

Any questions?

Yes. What did you mean by,

"Vegans should be fed to the lions"?

Nature's way.

And "Esther can't be trusted"?

You pretended to be a doddery old fart!

Well, at least I was acting. (ALL ARGUING)

Please, everyone, calm down!

Thank you.

This debate has made a few things really clear.

Esther, you're the brains of this house.

Rainbow, you're its heart,

and, Terrance, you're its stomach.

You are all wonderful housemates,

and this place wouldn't work without any one of you.

Do you know what? You're right.

We all are parts of a synergetic whole.

None of us should go.

You have to leave. What?

(ALL ARGUING) No! This is Gramps' house.

(ARGUING CONTINUES)

Everyone stop! Stop!

What is it, Mom?

I've just got off the phone to the US.

They've offered me my old job back.

Kids, you better start packing. We're moving back to America.

No!

(WHIRRING)

Goldie, are you making shredder confetti?

It's my planning cards. Everything has fallen apart.

I thought coming here would be a fresh start,

but Mom is more stressed ever,

and Gramps's fallen out with his friends.

Maybe it's time I gave up on planning.

No housemate of mine gives up on her life's work.

I'm not your housemate, Gramps.

Mom is already booking flights back for next week.

How will I stay?

All I know is, you always think of something,

so what's the plan?

I see you're wearing a false mustache.

Just trying out a new look.

Some people from the States

might have hired some bounty hunters.

Where's Goldie?

Probably upstairs in the attic with Gramps.

They've been spending a lot of time up there

the last few days.

Goldie, we've got to--

What's going on here?

Hey, Mom. We're redecorating. What do you think?

It's fantastic.

But you know we can't stay, right?

I've got a job waiting for me back home.

This is home, and, actually...

That came in the post this morning.

This is a job interview. What's the Pyramid?

It's a local event space.

There's barely any commute.

It's still creative,

and you get to spend tons more time with your family.

Aw. That's so thoughtful.

I'm not even going to get mad at you

for hawking me out for jobs.

So you're going to go for it?

Well, it's not me you have to convince.

I mean, even with a new attic room,

the others just don't want us here.

In fact, I'm not even sure they want each other here.

It's okay, Mom. I've got a plan for that.

Loren, this movie you've been shooting--

Could I have a look at some of the footage?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hey, guys. I know we got off on the wrong foot,

and I know you've all kind of fallen out with each other,

but Loren has been filming all week,

and we've made a little highlight reel

from some of her footage.

We thought it would help you

see things in a different light, so...

(DEVICE BEEPS)

(SOFT MUSIC)

I love this house.

The old people are so sweet and adorable.

How nice having you close by.

This is wonderful!

(BREATHES DEEPLY) I feel so inspired.

(BREATHES DEEPLY) Oh.

It's great to be wanted.

I haven't laughed so much in years.

(LAUGHTER)

You are all wonderful housemates,

and this place wouldn't work without any one of you.

You people... (LAUGHTER)

Utterly incredible.

I promise you. We're going to make this work.

(LAUGHTER)

That was wonderful.

I've not felt this warm and fuzzy since I got trapped

in a volcano and couldn't shave my legs.

Terrance, are you crying? No.

That was so cheesy,

it brought out all my allergies.

Oh, let's give it another go!

Anyone who can make Terrance cry

is an enemy worth keeping close by.

Right, Esther. Well said.

(LAUGHTER)

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

We did it.

Our doctored footage

has brought everyone closer together.

Emotional manipulation rules. Congratulations, neighbor.

Thanks, neighbor.

Oh, yeah. We got everyone to stay

by tricking them with sneaky editing.

Our lives are founded on a lie, a beautiful lie

about old people living together in peace and harmony.

No one must ever see the real film or know what we did.

Yeah. That would be a real shame

because I made my own little video.

Our lives are founded on a lie, a beautiful lie

about oldies living together in peace and harmony.

No one must ever see the real film or know what we did.

Now, I'm a fair person, so pay up,

or I show this to everyone.

What's it going to be?

I think it's going to be...

Cocoon Cannon. Aah!

Yeah, you better run!

Go on, Goldie!

Ah!

You kids!

(YELLS IN SLOW MOTION)

Not quite.

Danny!

Not the face! Not the face!

Now, that definitely sums up Goldie's first year in London.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0